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“What about guns?”
Everyone present just… stopped. Stopped moving, talking, walking, eating and Harry is pretty sure that some of them even stopped breathing. Which was… mildly alarming to be honest.
Hermione spun around, looking surprised, opening and closing her mouth.
“Magic stops any muggle inventions, right?” Dean asked, unsure.
“It stops technology like telly and phones, they are some complicated things. But guns run on… basic physics? And chemistry? I mean, they were around for some time right?” Harry looks at Hermione “Magic doesn’t stop all physics?”
She looked unsure suddenly. Then alarmed, then mad, then… hopeful?
“I’m not sure…” she started “... but if they did work- Oh my god, Harry! That would change so much! We need to test it immediately!”
“Woah Hermione!” Ron jumped up, holding his arms up “Care to share with the class? What's a gun?”
“It’s a machine that ejects metal bullets at high speed. Fast enough to pierce through skin and bones. Can be lethal.” Hermione rabbled out, pacing around the room.
“Lethal!?”
“Imagine going after Voldy with an AK-47” Seamus joked.
“Are we sure it is safe?”
“No,” Hermione answered simply. And then, not paying any mind to spluttering fifth-year she continued “Fred, George. Protego up, please.”
“Where the hell did they get a 0.45?”
Ron just shrugged, pointed at a suspiciously innocent-looking second year Ravenclaw, recruited by Luna herself. Their enthusiasm about somehow smuggling a lethal and possibly illegal weapon was only mildly concerning at first, but then they approached Harry the same day and said that they somehow managed to get their hands on 7 different types of handguns and will possibly have a heavier machinery ready by tomorrow. Ron swears he heard Lady Death herself whisper “ that's a bad idea ” into his ear when Hermione immediately set out to test their theory. But at this point she is just a background noise so he quickly contacted the twins and confidently marched down to the Room of Requirements to face the insanity and death like an old friend, because let be honest, after four years of their friendship, all three of them were well accustomed to trauma, both physical and psychological.
So yeah, he was proud to announce he didn’t even flinch when a metal “bullet” hit Fred’s protego and pierced through it, barely missing his body but putting a hole in his blazer.
Silence overtook the room as everyone took in the sight. Meanwhile ammunition embedded itself into the wall, sending glass shards flying off into every direction.
“Holy shit” Harry mumbled beside Hermione “Holy fuck! It worked!”
Hermione however stood still, her arm outstretched and brows furrowed together, as if she didn’t just shatter someone’s whole worldview, pun fully intended. Ron moved towards his friends, leaving Seamus sputtering in shock.
“Everything alright?”
“We need another test subject.” she said, with fire in her eyes.
“What? Why?” Neville asked, materializing behind Ron, startling him a little. He looked sickly pale, his hands trembling even after folding them into fists, shoulder tense and eyes darting between the hole and the gun in Hermione’s hand.
“It was an average shield,” she explained, still looking towards the twins, now chattering with excitement, checking the damage done. “We will face stronger ones, more advanced and more powerful. We need to make sure they will work on them too.”
“So who do you guys think would like to be our live target?” Harry joked, but a shiver ran down his spine as a certain second-year’s eyes snapped up and lips stretched out in a gleeful smile. Oh no.
Motherfucking Flitwick.
“... and as they explained, you are testing a new magic theory, am I correct?”
“We are just, uh, testing if… erm” Hermione fumbled over her words, looking seemingly panicked, and perhaps she was a little. But the boys saw a dangerous sparkle behind her innocent act, a spark of thinly veiled fury, which predicted a hellfire upon that second year. What was their name again? They really need to remember. To put a curse on them of course.
“You are testing if a muggle invention, by the name of a gun, can be stopped by a magical shield.”
Or strangle them.
“Ye-es,” the girl finally admitted, looking defeated. “But Professor-”
“You would need adult supervision, since I was told that guns can be lethal. And someone capable enough to cast powerful shields. Luckily for you I can count for both of those conditions.” he finally said, puffing like a proud eagle, looking utterly delighted at the prospect of being shot at by a bunch of kids. Another mildly concerning reaction. She should have get used to slightly (or not) homicidal and/or suicidal tendencies of those surrounding her. Look at her best friend/brother figure for example.
“You would help us, Professor?”
“Of course! Though secrecy would be in everyone’s best interest.” he said, unbothered. “But I would also recommend inquiring Madam Pomprey about anatomy lessons to maximilise your potential.”
“Can we agree to, like, not involve that kid in anything ever again?”
“Why?”
“So what? We barge in, empty handed, hoping to save an escaped convict and fight off a literal personification of death and despair!?”
“Not empty-handed.”
“Wha- Oh no.”
“Give me the prophecy, Potter.”
Suddenly he was facing a weirdly shaped object, pointed towards his abdomen, with the kids' wands discarded in the depth of their robes. Each of them held a similar object, some longer, some shorter and all had the same, alarmingly calm face. Except Potter who looked at him with so much venomous happiness it made him reel back.
“I would protego up if I were you” he said simply and suddenly an ear-piercing explosion rang through the air and then landed somewhere near his pelvis.
“Harry Potter” the man drawled, looking at Bellatrix who laid there, in a puddle of her own blood, crying in pain and holding onto her stomach. “I must say I didn’t think you had it in you, to cast such a powerful Cruciatus-”
“It wasn’t a Cruciatus.” Harry interrupted him, waving a familiar looking object in hand. Something tingled at the back of his mind, a distant memory, buried ages ago then ripped apart by years of dark magic. Harry settled it into his arms and smiled lazily. “That’s for being such a headache.”
Chaos erupted.
“What in Merlin's name…?” Remus whispered as he took in the scene.
A couple of Death Eaters were crying and possibly bleeding, some even passed out, tied together and dangling from the creature’s statue. Some of them were covered in slime, remains of dung bombs, paint, flour and- Were those feathers? And glitter? The man was pretty sure he heard Lucius Malfoy’s panicked whisper from behind the mask as he was dangling from the elf-house statue, which the werewolf was sure was done intentionally. Bellatrix and Voldemort were both almost seizing, trembling in pain, in puddles in blood in the centre, surrounded by a bunch of students, who were looking relaxed at best and bored at worst. Hell, he was pretty sure that a blonde kid was borderline sleeping, sitting across the darkest wizard of their time.
“Hi guys!” Harry waved cheerfully, smiling brightly, looking so relaxed it gave everyone whiplash. “Don’t worry, we have it under control. By the way, what is a horcrux? He keeps saying it.” And then he pointed at Voldemort, like he was an annoying pest. Sirius fucking whimpered next to him, in pride or shock, he couldn’t tell. Bloody hell, he wasn’t sure if Sirius himself knew what he was feeling now.
“What…?” Fudge asked, appearing behind them. “How- How did you-?” he stumbled as more people floo’ed in. “Did- Did you use Dark Magic!?’
“Nope,” Ron sing-sang, putting emphasis on “P”. “Just some muggle invention. It’s ironic, really.”
“Ironic!?” All students present flashed them the same, predatory smile.
“He was taken down by a modified AK.”
“I keep forgetting. What is your name kid?”
“Kevin. Kevin McCallister.”
“You transferred here, right? From Ilvermorny?”
“Yeah, got expelled. They didn’t like my jokes. So me and my fam figured that if school allowed trolls to penetrate its halls they wouldn’t mind me setting traps.”
No one had an answer to that. Except the twins. Their minds were already twirling with new prank ideas. A lightning bolt pierced the sky and crows cawed ominously.