Work Text:
And so that was it.
A long lasting love faded to nothing
All that remained were memories
as kanade laid down on her unmade bed
She kept on remembering
Those purple eyes she could never forget
She could've looked at them for hours
But not in that moment.
Her eyes lost anything that made her who she was.
Nothing remained of her, and that affected kanade deeply
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
- january 28th, a day after mafuyu's birthday -
It's been a full day since that happened
Since Mafuyu decided she had enough life
The words on the letter left for kanade kept going through her head
"dear kanade,
If you're reading this, I'm incredibly sorry
Don't blame yourself for this
For my cold hanging corpse
I'm leaving you this letter, just to let you know
I wish you and the others can have a good rest of your lives
Even if it's without me, you can still go on.
With love, Mafuyu"
How was she supposed to go on without her?!
she just laid in bed staring at the ceiling
Maybe she should have the same fate? But would Mafuyu like that? Definitely not.
suddenly there was a knock at her door, and then a soft voice
"Kanade? Are you in there?", it was honami, she'd come by every day to take care of her
" what is it, mochizuki"
"You know you can use my first name right? We're friends"
Right.. Friends.. She had other friends who weren't Mafuyu, so why was she so stuck on the thought of her?
Is that what people nowadays call love? so focused on a person you can temporarily forget other people exist?
"Come in."
The brown haired girl stepped in, her hair untied for once
"Kanade, you look like you haven't slept, is everything alright?"
"yeah, all's good"
"You can't lie to me you know? I'm supposed to be taking care of you! It's about her isn't it"
kanade felt her throat block itself at the mention of "her", as honami kept speaking
" I know you're grieving, I mean who wouldn't, you and Mafuyu seemed really close.. But you can't just throw yourself away, I'm sure she wouldn't want that"
Would she really? She wonders, she has so many questions regarding that, but they'll never be answered, she isn't here anymore.
".. She's not here anymore.. How would you know?! How can anyone know!"
Kanade's sudden outburst made honami's face soften even more
"it was quite clear to everyone, she cared for you, and she wouldn't let anything change that, she wouldn't want anything similar happening to you"
"But it's my fault it ended like that! it's always been, always will be, I wasn't good enough to save her after all"
Honami realized there wasn't much to say anymore at that point, but she just sat next to her, and hugged her
"Kanade,"
She paused for a moment, as kanade just sat there
"Mafuyu admired you, she liked how determined you were to help her, and so, I'm sure it was never your fault to begin with, you know her situation"
"But I could've saved her! I COULD'VE. but I didn't, I could have, i would have, I should have, but I didn't, why didn't I even bother to try"
"You tried your best. And that's what matters, come on, let's get you something to eat, I'm not letting you stay alone for today".
And so for that day, honami did her best to try cheering her up a bit, distract her
But nothing could work, was kanade just a burden now? That feeling of guilt was too loud to even let those whispers of comfort in
Was it too much now? Or was it all right, was it really her fault??? That's what she believed.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
- match 27th, 2 months after her death -
it was a nicely warm morning
The streets were wide awake, students going to school, adults going to work, but kanade sat there, not even focusing on her online class
She kept getting texts from the group chat, which was still active even without Mafuyu, the others had already managed to move on, and had divided the lyricism between themselves
- nightcord chat -
Mizuki: oii ena! Kanade!
Ena: Mizuki aren't you in class?!
Mizuki: heh~! Maybe!
Ena: focus on the lesson then!
Mizuki: so whattt aren't you two in class too
Ena: i have night classes! I'm at home finishing up a painting
Mizuki: eee but what's the fun in that! Kanade I see you there!
Kanade: Mizuki focus on class and stop texting
Mizuki: aah you're no fun at all! Both you and enanan!
Ena: EXCUSE ME? you're not invited to my house for dinner anymore!
Mizuki: eeeh but I need to see little bro!
- back to kanade's room -
"Still active as ever.. How do they manage to be still so happy even when she's gone.. Their lyrics are nice but.. it's missing something, it's missing her touch."
Kanade was still as upset as ever, without Mafuyu, she was nothing. Or so she thought
After her class ended, she stayed at her desk, composing for mizuki and ena's lyrics, but the feeling stayed
"Ugh.. I wish she was here"
She looked around her room, saw a figure, and then it disappeared
Huh. What.
"What was that?"
The figure appeared again, on her bed
It looked like.. Mafuyu.. No she was hallucinating!
She's dead!
"Kanade"
The strange figure spoke
"You don't have to keep carrying that feeling of guilt"
She was DEFINITELY hallucinating.
".. Mafuyu?"
"that would be me, kanade, you seriously don't need to keep making it seem like it's your fault"
"But it is! I couldn't save you in time and i just.. Let you go like that, your body felt so cold, I wanted to just go back and stop you"
"Yet you can't do that, but still, now I'm nothing but your imagination"
Kanade kept listening, as she sat next to her on the bed
"kanade, let me go"
"I can't!"
"Why can't you? it's not your fault I'm gone"
Mafuyu(?) Hugged kanade, even if it wasn't real, it felt real.
"It was never your fault, and you need to go on without me, I'm sure you can, honami cares for you and would want you to go on, Mizuki and Ena need your support to go on with nightcord, and I want it to go on, even if it's without me, nightcord felt special for all of you"
The figure then kissed kanade, the feeling felt incredibly real
"And so, go on without me, forget me if you need to, remember to go on, Never give up on your dreams, and kanade, take care of yourself for me, will you?"
".. I promise.. I will"
"Then i guess this is our goodbye"
The figure once again kissed her, pulling her down on the bed so she'd lay down, for one last time, before disappearing forever
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
Kanade took her promise seriously, she started taking care of herself as much as she could, took some doctor appointments and began healing on her own, going out more with her friends, because even if that's what mafuyu wanted, that's what she'll do, for the rest of her existence.