Chapter Text
He wanted to scream.
They were supposed to have fun and enjoy themselves at the Wardance, but instead they ended up having to again help the Loufu with a new crisis on top of already existing political issues.
Well it wouldn't have been to bad, if it weren't for the fact that he was forced to visit the shackling prison not only once, but twice!
To say Dan Heng was feeling like shit, would've been to put it lightly.
The moment he was back in the comfort of the archvies he let out a shaky sigh.
He had to force himself to keep a calm fassade ever since he had heard he would have to visit that Aeon forsaken place.
He knew it was an important situation, so he kept his cool, even when memories of his time there threatened to resurface, even when some of them did resurface and he had to do all in his power to not visibly react.
He was exhausted, both physically and mentally, so as fast as he could Dan Heng changed into a plain shirt and shorts and went to bed.
He had hoped that perhaps the Aeons would show some mercy upon him and gift him a dreamless night, letting him shove the thoughts about that place back into the far back of his mind.
But alas fate hated him...
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Everything hurt.
He wanted to cry, but he was sure he couldn't anymore.
His tears were all spent.
There was a sharp pain at his left side and a lot of smaller stinging places all over his body. His limbs were aching from being forced into staying in a singular position and the pain from both of his horns gave him a never ending headache.
Dan Heng could do nothing, but stare into the darkness.
He wondered if one day he would know why this was happening to him.
Why did they think he deserved this?
Did he deserve this?
He often asked himself that question, but no matter how many times he asked, he could never find an answer.
A loud creak tore him out of his thoughts and when he heard footsteps he knew exactly what was about to happen.
He knew that he was going to pass out from the pain that was about to be inflicted on him.
He knew that there was nothing he could say or do to stop it.
"Tsk, we haven't even started and he's already crying... how pitiful!"
"Hah yeah, he's even more pathetic than his predecessor! I mean, at least this way it's easier to get reactions out of this one."
He couldn't even think, before he felt a crushing pain on his horn, then his tail, then his back, then his-
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Dan Heng jolted awake.
His eyes where stinging with tears that threatened to spill over and he was struggling to breathe, one hand clutching his chest, while the other was tightly gripping the mattress under him.
It took more then just a few minutes until he felt like he was actually breathing again. It was only then that he realized he had shifted into his vidyadhara form.
Not having the energy to change back he just let's himself fall back onto the mattress, letting out a shaking exhale, before shifting to his side and curling in on himself, hugging part of his tail, while the rest of it wrapped tightly around him.
Why did the universe feel the need to make him relive those memories and why did they still have such power over him.
They were in the past, he was save now!
Yet no matter how many times he told himself that, the phantom pains from his dream wouldn't leave.
He knew he wouldn't be able to, nor would he want to sleep now, so he just laid there feeling numb from suppressing to many intense emotions, trying his hardest to shift his thoughts to other things, but inevitably being unable to.
"Dan Heng?"
Shit.
How could he forget!
Their monthly meeting with the Stelleron Hunters was today.
Well presumably today...
Had he slept in? If so, for how long?
He couldn't face Blade like this!
It was hard enough to face the man when he wasn't in this state.
But now...
What would he think?
Knowing the Stelleron Hunter, he'd probably scoff at him and tell him to get over it.
Not wanting to find out his actual reaction, the archivist kept quiet, hoping to seem like he was still sleeping.
"I know you're awake, Dan Heng", Blades voice was a lot closer then before.
How had he not heard his footsteps?
Dan Heng let out a sharp sigh, but didn't move.
"Please leave...", his voice came out weaker then he liked, "I'll be there in a few minutes."
He hated how shaky his voice sounded and Dan Heng knew fully well that he didn't convince Blade by one bit.
"I don't think I will.", he heard Blade sit down at the end of his makeshift bed, "Not until you tell me, why you're sulking in your bed in the middle of the day."
Oh... so he did sleep in.
"Why do you care?", his voice betrayed him once again, making his words sound desperate rather then annoyed.
"Cause I've never seen you in this state before and I want to know the reason behind it."
Sighing once again Dan Heng reluctantly uncurled himself and sat up on his bed.
He was now hugging his legs, resting his head on his knees, refusing to look at Blade.
He feared if he were to look at him now all his carefully constructed walls would break and he would crumble into pieces in from of him.
"I-", he didn't really know what to say.
What could he even say?
Did he trust Blade enough to actually tell him the truth or could he find an excuse?
Probably not, Dan Heng sometimes felt like that man knew him better himself.
"I had a nightmare.", it was true, a kind of embarrassing reason to be in this state, but it was a truth that didn't need a detailed explanation... or so he thought.
The Stelleron Hunter let out disapproving sigh.
"I know there's more to it", he hear him shift closer, "a simple nightmare wouldn't affect you this much, so out with it."
He just hugged his knees tighter without responding.
Why would he?
This was Blade for aeons sake! He didn't know why he suddenly seemed to care, but that didn't change the fact they used to be enemies not to long ago.
Yes, they had been on better terms recently, even had a routine of sparring whenever the Stelleron Hunters came over, but that didn't mean Dan Heng trusted him.
So how could he-
"Fine, if you don't want to tell me, at least talk to someone. You have companions, talk to them, before it eats you alive.", he could hear Blade moving to stand up and something in him just reacted on autopilot.
"Wait!", he was still refusing to look in his direction.
"Hm?"
"I-", there was a lump in his throat, "I had to visit the shackling prison."
"They arrested you?"
"No that not-", he took a deep breath, "there were some issues on the Loufu, during the Wardance, which led to me having to go there."
"Thats where they kept you befor you were exiled, no?"
"Yes..."
"So that's why you're upset?"
"Yes."
There was a long pause.
Why was he telling him this?
"Dan Heng?"
"Hm?"
"Look at me."
He shook his head.
There was a bandaged hand on his jaw, lifting his head to look at Blade, yet the archivist refused to meet his eyes.
"Dan Heng."
He looked in his direction for a split second before he shifted his gaze away again.
"What did they do to you?"
He could feel his eyes fill with tears, that he couldn't will away.
"Dan Heng, look at me!"
Another pause.
"Please.", the Hunters voice sounded softer then he had ever heard it before.
As soon as his eyes locked with crimson ones, filled with tenderness, his walls began to crack.
And then Blade shifted his hand behind his head to hug him and Dan Heng crumbled.
Tears spilling over, his hands and tail wrapping around blade, gripping the other like his life depended on it.
He could do nothing but cry, all of his suppressed emotions breaking free, with an intensity that was just too much.
Blade said nothing, just held him tight, letting the vidyadhara cry until he couldn't anymore.
He didn't know how long he cried for, but even once his tears stopped flowing and his breath became calmer, he didn't let go of the Stelleron Hunter.
Feeling the other shift to move back, only made him tighten his hold.
"Please don't."
Understanding what Dan Heng ment, he went back to hold him.
They sat in silence for a while, until Blade could feel the archivist's breath slowly even out.
"Dan Heng?", Blade finally asked.
After getting no responds, he carefully placed him back on his bed.
Unable to move away due to the vidyadhara's tail not loosening his grip on him, he sat next to him carefully combing his hand trough his hair.
They would talk once he woke up again.
Blade wasn't really sure what to feel, seeing the Nameless so broken and knowing the reason behind it, stirred something in him.
Of course he knew that Dan Heng had spent time in the shackling prison, but he thought they would never dare to do anything, considering he was the High Elder... looks like he was wrong.
He felt so many conflicting emotions. When he saw the look in Dan Heng's eyes, he had just let his body move on autopilot to hug him.
He had felt even more conflicting emotions, when Dan Heng had broken down.
Hearing and feeling the archivist cry, made his cold heart ache in a way he didn't know was still possible.
He looked down at the sleeping boy beside him.
Seeing him used to make his mara flare up, but now... ever since Dan Heng had made that promise, seeing him just made Blade feel at peace, knowing he wasn't running anymore and so the mara kept quite.
The Vidyadhara stirred next to him, befor blinking his eyes open.
"Blade?", rubbing his eyes, he sat up and slowly took in his surroundings.
Unbeknownst to him his tail was still wrapped around the Stelleron Hunter.
"How long was I out for?", Dan Heng's Voice seemingly still raspy from crying.
"Only a few minutes."
"I see."
He paused for a moment.
"Can you not tell my companions about this? I do not wish for them to worry", his voice started to sound more like himself again.
"Okay."
"Thank you."
Another pause.
"I hate talking about that place. Having grown up there... every memory I have of that place, be it mine or Dan Fengs, is nothing but painful."
Wait what?!
He grew up there?!
Blade swore he was going to burn that damn prison to the ground.
"I don't know why I'm telling you all this...", he heard Dan Heng murmur, probably thinking he hadn't heard him.
"Look, I'm not to good with words of comfort, but I will say I'm sorry you had to grow up in there", his hand went to rest on the tail around his torso and more gently, then he thought he was still capable of, caressed it.
The action caused the vidyadhara to realize his hold on the Hunter and pull his tail away. Much to his disappointment.
"Sorry...", the archivist looked away in embarrassment. To which Blade only huffed in amusement.
"How late is it?"
"Silverwolf has my phone."
"Oh."
"But it was around 14:25 sistem time, when I came to the archives."
"Okay", Dan Heng let out deep breath, "Thank you... for comforting me I mean. I don't know why you did it, but thank you."
The Stelleron Hunter scoffed.
"I don't really know why either."
The vidyadhara let out a contemplating hum.
"I think I still need a bit to gather my thoughts, you don't have to stay here."
"I don't have anything else to do anyway.", he thought for a moment, "Except if you want me to leave?"
"No it's fine. I- Your presence... isn't unwelcome."
"Okay."
He let out a chuckle, when he felt the others tails wrap around his torso again.
"Shut up"
He only chuckled again, to which the vidyadhara huffed in annoyance.