Chapter Text
The morning air was seeping through Jason’s cardigan and nipping at his skin as the library came into view. He didn’t mind though, savoring the promise of fall as he sipped on his coffee from the local spot he stopped at every morning before work.
It was overcast today with sporadic bouts of rain predicted which meant there was a 50/50 chance the library would be busy. When the weather was like this, he could count on the usuals to come in. The older folks who attended programming or arranged their own groups that took up some of the meeting rooms. The kids who came by after school let out and weren’t quite ready to return home. Parents with their younger kids trying to find more ways to entertain them whether it be books or movies. Anyone else was up in the air. Some more content to stay in the comfort of their homes than wander the stacks.
Swiping his card to get into the building, he went through his normal routine. Clock in, stop at his desk and drop his bag, grab his name tag, check his emails, and then go check where he would be stationed throughout the day once they opened in an hour.
Typically, he was in the teen section for the majority of the day (his official title was Teen Services Librarian after all) working on programming, putting together book recommendations and displays, and talking with the teens as they came in. Add some shelving into the mix (he liked putting an audiobook on and the monotony of the task) and those were Jason’s favorite shifts.
Hopefully today would be one of those. Something nice and simple that allowed him to go through the motions without too much thinking.
On his way to check the assignments because yes they did have a paper sheet instead of digitalizing it like Jason had suggested (He was close to making a breakthrough there though.), he ran into Madison, another one of the librarians who had become his friend less by choice and more by her wearing him down over the years. It was relatively easy especially since her desk was right by his.
“Good mornin’, Jay,” she greeted him with a smile, her own bigger, more caffeinated coffee (Seriously, how did one drink something with five shots of espresso and like it?) from the same local shop in hand.
“Mornin’, Madi,” he replied.
“I’m taking bets, busy or slow today?”
Jason smiled slightly at her antics. “I’m not partaking because that’s just going to jinx it and you know it.”
“You’re no fun today.” She rolled her eyes and grabbed the clipboard from its designated hook. She grimaced slightly as she looked it over. “And you’re about to be even less fun.”
He winced and took the clipboard from her. He slowly ran his finger down looking for his name and then over to see his assignments for the day. Surely it couldn’t be that bad right? Well…
Jason loved his job. He really did. Except for days like this.
Being short staffed had its disadvantages to begin with, every librarian knew that. One of which meant that he sometimes drew the short stick. Which was the case today as he saw Children’s scrawled next to his name for the late afternoon.
“Maybe it won’t be busy?” Madi tried, but it was no use. His mood had already deflated.
He raised an eyebrow at her. “Children’s won’t be busy on an overcast, possibly rainy day when school gets out?”
That was when it would be busiest and most chaotic. Parents trying to find ways to get the kids out of the house after school and get some energy out for free. With parks out of the picture, the library was usually their next thought.
He could already feel a headache forming just thinking about it. Could hear the echo of children screaming and running while their parents scolded them in hushed tones as they chased after them in his brain. He’d manage though. He just needed to sit at the desk and make sure that no major incidents occurred. He could handle that.
“Not to make it worse, but there’s that one program that shall not be named happening today during your time.” She at least had the decency to look like she felt bad about it.
“Shit.”
Oh, these kids were in for disappointment. Why couldn’t it have been reading to dogs or a book club or literally anything except for a story time. Jason could make it through anything else.
“Do I have any favors I can call in?” He asked hoping for an out.
Madi shook her head with another sympathetic look. “I wish I could help you out but I’m in charge of that crafting club at the same time.”
He groaned, but relented. That was right, it’d been her passion project she finally got the go ahead for after months of planning and garnering support from patrons.
Looks like he was on his own. He could survive one story time, right?
~
It’s not that Jason hates kids. He doesn’t. He gets along with them pretty well actually all things considered. But the problem with the younger ones is that their curiosity is overflowing and they are vocal about it without shame or the knowledge that some things are best left unsaid. That skill comes with age and practice.
Worse, the younger they are the less of a filter they have which means there’s a high ratio of thoughts that pop into their heads to those that come out of their mouths. It’s as though their curiosity brims over and needs to exit their bodies to make room for the new observations and the quickest way to expel them is to voice them.
He’d made the unfortunate mistake of having the sleeves of his cardigan rolled up to his elbows when he walked over to the reading spot with the book for the day. It had taken only a few minutes for one of the kids to notice the scars on his arms and make comment. Only a few seconds after that for him to hastily roll down his sleeves despite him being warm thanks to the heat being cranked just a tad too high. And even less time for his mood to fall, face flushing slightly in embarrassment as he tried to ignore the looks and whispers from the parents hovering nearby, but still manage to school his expression so as to make it seem like the question wasn’t a big deal.
How do you explain those to a six year old who has a minimal concept of the world and life? You don’t. You laugh it off, come up with some vague excuse or reason that won’t lead to more questions, and change the subject as quickly as possible. Luckily, it was story time and Jason opened the book and began to read.
~
After story time was over, Jason retreated to the children’s desk once again, avoiding eye contact with all of the parents that had witnessed the interaction at the beginning and busied himself with curating some lists of books to grab for one of his upcoming displays.
It was after things like that he really missed being in the teen room interacting with the middle school and high schoolers he’s gotten to know over the years helping them with homework, finding books they’d be interested in, and being a listening ear. He was considered the “cool” teen services librarian by most of them (which he definitely bragged about to his brothers even if they lovingly called him a nerd for it).
“Excuse me, can you help me find a book?”
Jason almost jumped, not hearing anyone come up to the desk at all. It was rare for one of the kids to approach the desk, especially on their own and with such confidence. Usually it was a parent coming up. If their kid was with them, they’d usually prompt them to ask him their question, usually something along the lines of whether they currently had a book. If it was just them, usually they’d ask for quick recommendations on what they should pick up for their child to read (always a more loaded question than they realized) or for a specific book on their kid’s behalf rather than making them ask themselves.
But now a girl stood in front of him, probably about 8 or 9 years old if he had to guess, looking at him expectantly. He’d noticed her tucked off into a corner (A good one if you asked, Jason. A corner he probably would’ve tucked himself into when he was younger filled with bean bag chairs.) reading while he did story time.
“Yes, of course, what are you looking for?” He switched to a new tab and opened the catalog.
“The Magic Tree House series.”
“Oh, good choice,” he told her as he typed it into the computer and watched as the results filled the page. Geez, he forgot how many titles were in this series. “Any specific one that you’re looking for?” She shook her head.
He was at the point he wanted to stretch his legs again and it wasn’t that far away from the desk anyway. He quickly put a sign out saying he’d be back in a moment and started to lead her to the section. “Alright, let me show you where they are.”
Walking over he read along the spines, his finger hovering to help keep his spot until he finally locked eyes on the series. “Looks like we have quite a few of them currently available,” he noted, gesturing to the stocked shelf.
Her eyes lit up like she’d just hit the jackpot, before she shot him a skeptical look.“Have you read them?”
It felt kind of like a challenge. Are you cool enough to know about the Magic Tree House? “Of course I have,” he replied as if it was the only right answer. It had been one of his favorite series as a kid actually. He’d constantly had those books checked out from his local library. He scanned the shelf finally landing on one of his favorites and pulling it out. “This is decidedly the best one.”
Her face once again lit up. “This one’s my favorite too!” This was followed by a full rant about why it was decidedly the best book in the series which Jason couldn’t help but smile at. These kind of interactions made his day. She excitedly grabbed the next three books she needed to read in the series as she quizzed Jason on some of her other favorite series, some of which he’d read, but others he hadn’t and promised to look into.
“Lian, you find what you were looking for?” A voice spoke up behind them.
Jason turned around and was greeted by a man a few inches shorter than him with auburn hair that brushed his shoulders under a trucker hat that had a logo for “Harper Automotives” on it. He had a few books of his own in his arms. Mostly nonfiction Jason noticed though there was also a fiction book that he didn’t recognize but made a note to look up. His green eyes crinkled as he smiled down at the girl standing next to him.
“Dad! Look at all the Magic Tree House books they have,” she excitedly pointed to the shelves and then going up to him and showing off the ones she pulled. “The librarian helped me find them,” she added as an after thought smiling back at Jason. “He’s read the Magic Tree House books.”
“Well thank you, Mr. Librarian,” the man said to him, his smile now directed at Jason. Was that a teasing lilt he heard in his voice? “She hasn’t been able to stop talking about needing to come here and get the next books since she finished the latest one she checked out last night.” He chuckled and she rolled her eyes at him, already cracking open the book on the top of her pile.
“It was no problem really,” he replied. Was it hotter in here all of a sudden? His face felt flushed.
“I’m Roy by the way,” the man said sticking out his hand. “This is Lian.” He nodded toward his daughter.
“Jason,” he replied, shaking it and giving him a small smile. Yeah, they had to have turned up the heat even further in this building. Jason would need to talk to someone about that.
“Well, thanks again for helping her out. I’ll probably see you around,” Roy said returning the smile. It was such a nice smile. “I’ve got quite the voracious reader on my hands so we’re sure to be pretty frequent visitors.”
“Bye, Jason!” Lian called over her shoulder, still with one of the books open in her hands as her as her dad, Roy, led her to the self checkout area.
“Bye, Lian,” he replied with a little wave.
Jason watched them carefully check out their books, Lian immediately picking up the book she’d started and resuming reading (which was exactly what he had done when he was a kid), before turning around and—
“Wow, that guy was totally eye fucking you just now. And with his daughter present.” Madi let out a low whistle. “That’s bold.”
He jumped. “Geez, I need to get you a bell, Mads.”
“It’s true.” She shrugged, leaning on the cart that she had with her filled with books to be shelved. “And you say that to me all the time. It’s never gonna happen. I enjoy my stealth too much. Also, in my defense, I wasn’t even that quiet this time.” She pushed the cart slightly for emphasis and its wheels rattled ever so slightly. Huh, how had he not heard that approaching? “You were just so smitten with him you didn’t notice me.”
“I was not ‘smitten’!” He hissed, putting air quotes around the offending accusation. No, he wasn’t. He wasn’t. Also who said “smitten” anymore?
“Mhm,” she teased as she walked away, cart rattling once again (seriously, how had he not heard that). Jason glared after her before getting back to work for the last few hours of his shift.
Chapter 2
Notes:
Alright I have by no means planned the entirety of this story out (thus the fact that it says 2/2 as of the time of me posting this chapter), but I'm in the process of it! Once that happens though I'll update the chapter count and all that fun stuff. I definitely have some fun ideas for later chapters.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It had been a long day at the shop and to say Roy was tired was an understatement. They’d been slammed with work which was great for business, but being down a worker for the day it was to the point he’d almost had to bring Lian back there after school instead of to the library like he’d promised.
Fortunately he had employees who were able to take the lead and lock up when they were done and seeing the look on her face when they walked in had been priceless. Despite the fact they’ve been there many times, her eyes still lit up as the children’s section came into view and he’d had to remind her that running wasn’t allowed as she all but dragged him over. She’d spend hours there if she was able.
With a yawn, Roy knocked on his daughter’s door. It was getting close to being 30 minutes after her bedtime. (He may or may not have fallen asleep on the couch briefly.)
There wasn’t an answer, which he half expected would be the case, so he slowly opened the door. Lian was curled up on her bed, stuffed animals strewn around her as she continued to read her book. It was clear she was enthralled by the story, not even bothering to look up to acknowledge him. He couldn’t help but smile at the scene.
“Li, it’s bedtime,” he told her gently. Fortunately, they’d done the rest of her bedtime routine beforehand so all that was left was getting her to settle in and turning the lights out.
“One more chapter,” she begged. “I just got to a good part.”
Roy had to stop himself from playfully rolling his eyes at her. All of the parts were a good part if it meant she could read more. She’d pulled that card one too many times and he’d finally caught on. “Nope, honey, it’s already past your bedtime and it’s a school night.” He sat down on the edge of her bed, holding his hand out. She reluctantly put a bookmark in her book then handed it over with a huff.
“We can go back to the library more though, right,” she asked.
“Mhm,” Roy hummed, tucking her in. “You had fun today?” He knew the answer but wanted to hear her say it.
“So much fun,” she told him, a yawn escaping despite her best efforts to smother it. “They have so many books, dad.”
He chuckled. “Most libraries do, Li.”
“And that librarian was really nice. He has good taste in books.”
Roy smiled, face heating slightly thinking back to that interaction. “You mean Jason? He did seem nice.”
Lian nodded, cuddling one of her stuffed animals close. “Yeah, I like him.”
~
After they said goodnight and the door clicked closed behind him, Roy went about his own nightly routine. The sun was long past the horizon as he closed the blinds on the surrounding city as he went about tidying the living room on his way to the kitchen. There he cleaned up the rest of the dishes from their dinner and put the leftovers away for him to take to work in the morning. He did some prep for Lian’s lunch as well to get a head start on tomorrow. The less morning Roy needed to do before fully consuming a cup of coffee the better.
Not long later he was in his own pajamas and finally crawling into bed, sighing as his aching muscles relaxed into the mattress. Closing his eyes, his body was ready for sleep, but it seemed his mind wasn’t. Instead, it wandered to the outstanding jobs waiting for him in the morning, a telltale sign the stress was getting to him.
He groaned. It was going to be one of those nights. One where his mind wouldn’t shut up and he’d spend half the night tossing and turning or staring at the ceiling. One of the nights where in the past he’d drink until the thoughts were nothing but white noise and his body didn’t bother to fight to stay awake. But he was sober now (and damn proud of it) so that wasn’t an option.
Instead he tried to let his mind wander to anything else but the chaos that awaited him in the morning once he left the apartment. It wasn’t his fault that his mind went to the librarian. Jason.
So yeah, Roy thought he was cute and maybe there was a tiny crush forming. He could have a thing for a librarian. Not that he’d pursue it. Imagine how pissed Lian would be if her dad were to ruin her favorite place. Nope, he could look and fantasize all he wanted as long as he didn’t act on it.
Chances are they wouldn’t even see Jason very often on their library tips anyway. There were plenty of other librarians working there and it wasn’t like they were going to always go at the same time. Shifts changed. Librarians moved to different branches or cities. The list went on and on. Roy wouldn’t avoid him per say but he could certainly limit the amount if it came to that.
Things were good with him and Lian. They had their routines. He was providing a stable life for his daughter. There was no reason to mess it up even if Jason had very pretty eyes he could (and almost did) get lost in. There was a chance Jason wasn’t even interested in men which made all of this spiraling even more pointless.
He shouldn’t be this far gone over one very short interaction and a bunch of what ifs. He shouldn’t. But his heart had melted just a bit as he watched him feed into Lian’s love of books. How her smile got wider when he asked for her opinion on the latest book she read and her eyes lit up as she started explaining what she’d liked about it. Yes, Roy had been standing there for a moment before he announced his presence, but in his defense it was rare for Lian to get along with someone so well when first meeting them.
It was a hit or a miss if she would let someone in and lately it’d been the latter. Once you earned her trust, you had it, but until then… good luck. She was guarded sometimes like her mother which Roy couldn’t fault her for. He had similar tendencies. But something about Jason had cracked through like magic.
Roy huffed and rolled back over to his other side trying to get comfortable. It was going to be a long night at this rate.
Notes:
Let me know what you all think! I wasn't 100% sold on doing a Roy POV (most of this idea has come through in Jason's POV) but I think they'll be scattered in there every so often!
P.S. Extra kudos are always appreciated! ❤️
Chapter 3
Notes:
Is this chapter kind of chaos? Yes! But it moves things along to a degree so I'll allow it for now.
Also PSA posting will definitely not be the most consistent over the next few weeks but I promise I will do my best to not leave you all hanging for too long!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“You look like a lost puppy waiting for his owner to come back,” Madi informed him for the third time today.
Jason briefly turned to glare at her before turning back to the screen in front of him. He was supposed to be contributing some plans for the programming next month for the teens, but his mind was elsewhere.
It’d been a couple of weeks since he’d seen Roy and Lian. Well, he’d seen them in passing. He’d been shelving or located in a different area and notice them come in. But he had a job to do and couldn’t just stroll up and say anything. No, that’d be awkward as hell. They probably didn’t even remember him. He’d always been told he blended into the background well.
“You’re down bad already,” she teased in a sing song voice, dropping a few books onto the desk.
He eyed the stack and realized it was a bunch of reshelves for the Young Adult section she was hoping he’d do for her. “And you’re walking on very thin ice this close to closing,” he shot back with a fake smile.
“You’re in a mood too.” Madi huffed and shot him an unimpressed look. “Dinner after shift at that noodle place you like. My treat.”
Jason had to weigh the pros and cons of that obvious bribe. Pro: He wouldn’t have to figure out dinner tonight. Not that he didn’t have anything to cook or couldn’t cook, but it would be nice to not have to worry about that when he got home. Con: Madi would make him talk about his feelings. Pro: He’d have leftovers to bring home and not have to worry about lunch tomorrow either. Con: He really didn’t want to talk about his feelings. Pro: He hadn’t been to the noodle place in a while and he was due for a night out with Madi. They always ended up having fun even if Jason was a drag to begin with. Con…
“Ugh fine,” he relented and rolled his eyes at her celebratory fist pump. She knew she’d had him once she offered food. Now she was just gloating.
“I’ll get you at closing,” she called over her shoulder as she skipped off to finish the rest of her to do list.
Jason let his head drop to the desk with a groan.
~
“It’s okay to have a crush on patrons,” Madi told him as she dipped another crab rangoon into her noodle soup before taking a bite. “I’ve thought plenty of them are cute.”
“It’s not that.” Jason continued moving the stir-fried noodles around his plate. “I mean it probably is but it’s also probably stupid.”
It had to be stupid. I mean he had one interaction with this guy and his daughter. That’s it. He shouldn’t be hung up on it. What was wrong with him?
“Jay, get out of your head for a minute and talk to me,” she encouraged. “I’m your friend I’m not going to judge you or make fun of you. That’s what your brothers are for.”
He looked up from his plate panicked. “You haven’t said anything, right?” Oh god, if Dick or Tim or, oh shit, especially Damian caught wind of this he was screwed. The teasing would never end. He’d be forced to move away from the area, change his name, and even then there was a chance of them tracking him down and tormenting him.
“You think that little of me?” She raised an eyebrow. “Come on now. I only send them embarrassing videos of you dropping a stack of books every once in a while.”
“Remind me how you integrated yourself in with them so well?” Madi had more of a standing relationship with his brothers than he even did despite only meeting them in-person a handful of times.
She shrugged. “Probably the same way I got you to be my friend. I’m very persistent.” She gave him a pointed look. “But stop changing the subject like you always do. So you like this Roy guy.” Jason cringed. Yeah, he really didn’t want to have this conversation. “What are you going to do about it?”
“Nothing.” Jason told her. “Absolutely nothing because there’s nothing to do about that.” It was pointless. Jason’s love life was… lackluster to put it nicely.
He didn’t put himself out there anymore after a few failed attempts. As much of a hopeless romantic that he was (thanks, Jane Austen), he just never seemed to be good enough for any of his partners to stay assuming they even made it past the first couple of dates. Besides, he wasn’t like Dick who could charm anyone or Tim who could impress people with how smart he was. He was just… Jason and clearly meant to be alone.
Her eyes narrowed. “That is such bullshit, Jay. Anyone would be lucky to have you.”
“My track record says otherwise,” he muttered turning back to his food.
Madi sighed. “We’ll work on it,” she told him gently.
~
It was dark by the time that they finished eating and the temperature had cooled down to the point that Madi had his cardigan wrapped over her shoulders as they walked in the direction of her apartment. Jason wasn’t about to have her walk home alone in the dark and his place wasn’t too far from hers anyway.
He chuckled at one of her stories from the day that she told animatedly, her bag of leftovers swinging from where she had it on her arm as she gestured.
“If you drop your leftovers I’m not giving you mine,” he warned her, but they both knew that wasn’t true.
“I’m telling you, you need to drop into that book club some time. We have the best time,” Madi told him before launching into another story from the day.
Jason listened, his eyes wandering to their surroundings. It was nice and peaceful and just what he needed. It wasn’t too busy out tonight, a few cars going down the street past them. They were on a less busy road, so there weren’t many people either. Shops across the street had mainly closed down for the night except for one.
He stopped as its sign caught his eye across the street and made him do a double take. Harper Automotives. The logo on Roy’s hat. It was like a beacon in the ever-growing dark. Some sort of sick joke from the universe maybe? How many times had he walked this way and never noticed it? Now the sign was lit up and lights were still on inside. One of the garage doors was open and Jason could see people still working inside.
He was about to make a comment to Madi about it when he heard his name called followed by the flash of a small figure running across the street. Next thing he knew Lian was standing in front of him.
“Hi, Jason,” she greeted him, smiling as if she didn’t just take her life into her own hands running across to say hi to him nearly giving him a heart attack in the process.
“Hi, Lian,” Jason replied. “It’s good to see you, but, uh, you probably shouldn’t be running across the street at night. That’s dangerous.”
She ignored his comment, instead moving on to give Madi a once over with narrowed eyes that lingered on his cardigan still hanging on her shoulders. “Are you his girlfriend?”
“Nope.” Madi was clearly trying to hold back her laughter and Jason was about ready to smack her for it. “Just a fellow Librarian and one of Jason’s few friends around here.”
He glared at her. “I have friends.”
“Lian!” Came a panicked call from across the street followed by some select curse words that were barely audible.
Without a second thought, Lian gabbed Jason by the hand and started leading him across the street, careful of cars. He heard Madi behind him still trying to hold back her laughter at the situation as she followed.
Roy was back lit by the lights on in the garage. His shirtsleeves were rolled up to his elbows and grease marking his arms (which were extremely toned not that Jason noticed) and somehow also on his forehead. Jason desperately wanted to walk over and wipe it off for him. His arms were crossed and brow furrowed as he looked down at his daughter who didn’t even have the decency to look like she felt bad for what she did.
“Li, how many times have I told you you can’t wander off when I’m working?” Roy asked.
“But I saw Jason and wanted to say hi.” She gestured to him and he sheepishly waved.
It seemed to be the first time that Roy noticed him standing there. Was that a blush? Probably not it was hard to tell in this lighting and with his hat blocking part of his face. “Oh, uh, hi, Jason.”
“Hi, Roy.”
“Sorry if she ambushed you on your-”
“I’m Madi. One of Jason’s colleagues and friends whether he likes it or not,” she cut him off. She walked over and offering her hand which Roy shook. “You work here?” She asked as though it wasn’t obvious.
“I, uh, own it actually.” Roy rubbed the back of his neck. “Bought it a couple of years ago when the old owners decided to retire.”
“Very cool,” Madi said looking around.
“Sorry about her,” Jason piped in. “She can be a bit much. And we should really be going.” He hoped Madi would get the hint but she continued to wander through the space.
Roy chuckled at that. “No worries. Sorry about Lian. She’s been raving about you ever since a couple weeks ago. I think we just keep missing you during our visits.” Jason’s heart swelled a little bit at that new information.
“Jason,” Lian tugged on his hand. “Can I show you the book I’m reading?”
“Uh, sure if it’s okay with your dad?” He’d lost track of Madi at this point which was a problem in itself.
“You can show him really quickly. Jason probably needs to get home. I’m almost done here,” Roy relented.
Lian squealed, leading Jason over to her reading spot which was the front desk. There was a blanket draped over the chair and a stuffed cat sitting on it. Her backpack was tipped over on the floor. She quickly grabbed a book from the pile and showed him. It was another Magic Tree House one. A few books past where she’d been in the series last they spoke.
“Oh, that’s a good one! What do you think so far?”
She didn’t have to be asked twice, immediately diving into her analysis of it and her favorite parts. Jason couldn’t help but smile.
~
By the time they were back walking and out of an earshot, Madi was listing off everything she learned. “His name’s Roy Harper. Originally from Star City. Also adopted so you two have that in common.”
“What did you do? Go through all of his stuff?” Jason was mortified.
“As your friend, it’s my duty to vet out who you might date.”
“By breaking into his place of work.”
“I didn’t break in anywhere! His daughter invited us in and I just happened to wander into his office a little bit while he went back to working and you were distracted.
He groaned. “You did not.”
“I did!” Madi pulled out her phone and shoved it in his face. “And look who else he has a connection to.”
Jason pulled his face away from the phone a bit so he could actually see. She’d taken a picture of one of the framed photos in his office it seemed. In it his eyes were drawn to an unmistakably younger looking Roy smiling, his face dotted with more freckles than it was now. He was with a group of people all gathered around, smiling and laughing. Scanning further he realized he recognized the boy standing next to him with an arm draped over his shoulders. None other than Dick Grayson, his brother. What were the chances?
“Not a word,” Jason threatened. All Madi did was laugh in response.
Notes:
I hope you enjoyed! Reminder that posting is not going to be consistent for a bit and I'm sorry but I'll do my best to keep writing!
Chapter 4
Summary:
Jason goes to visit Dick for totally innocent reasons totally not at all related to Roy...
Notes:
We have a tentative chapter count!!! If all things go according to my outline (50/50 chance there), this will be a 20 chapter story with an epilogue. I’m so excited to bring some of these ideas to life and hope I do them justice.
TW: Mentions of past alcoholism and self-harm, nothing detailed but it's briefly touched on.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jason may or may not have done some light internet stalking in his free time since that last encounter with Roy and Lian. Which may or may not have led him to making a perfectly normal visit to his brother at his apartment an hour away on one of his days off.
Dick’s apartment was a decently sized one bedroom located downtown in the next city over. It gave off a domestic, homey feel from the secondhand furniture to the warm lighting from the lamps and windows overlooking the cityscape to the framed photos of friends and family cluttering the walls. Jason didn’t even want to know how much he paid for rent knowing it was far more than his modest studio.
He could’ve avoided this entire trip and simply texted Tim to do some digging instead, but that would’ve opened a whole other can of worms he wasn’t ready to risk opening yet. This was the safer bet. Some easy recon to appease his curiosity and then move on with his life.
Dick placed two coffee cups on the coffee table in front of the couch and Jason eagerly grabbed his since he’d skipped out on his normal caffeine dose on the way over. “So, what brings you to my neck of the woods, Jaybird?”
His brother didn’t say it in an accusing tone but Jason bristled at the question nonetheless out of habit. It wasn’t rare for him to visit and he didn’t only show up when he needed something. Yes, he’d been the one to move the furthest away, but he still did his due diligence to see family. Not quite as much as they liked but he was at least making more of an effort than he had in the past.
“Consider this the last time I try to visit you on a day off,” he muttered into his coffee. Maybe this had been a mistake.
“Hey, I didn’t mean it like that and you know it,” Dick told him, his tone softening as he leaned back and savored the contents of his own mug. “I’m not Bruce. I’m not accusing. I’m not being moody about it. I’m happy you’re here. It’s just been a while is all.”
“It hasn’t been that long.”
“Jay, I haven’t seen you in person in two months despite being only an hour away.”
“Shit, really?” He hadn’t realized that it had been that long and a little bit of guilt nagged at him. He was probably due for a family dinner night in the near future if that was the case. “Sorry, the library’s been busy.”
“How’s that going by the way?” Dick asked seeming eager to move on with the conversation and latch onto whatever topic Jason was willing to talk about. “Last I heard you all were still a bit short staffed.”
Jason filled in Dick on the latest that yes they were still short staffed, but that he was still enjoying his job. In return, Dick started sharing stories about the latest shenanigans going on at the gym he worked at. They easily fell into their usual banter as though no time had really passed.
When a slight lull came up in the conversation, he figured this was the time to bring up what he wanted to ask. Might as well just rip the bandaid off. Jason looked down at his mug, passing it from hand to hand and looking at it as though it was the most interesting object in the world. “By the way, do you know a Roy Harper?”
Jason chanced a look up, watching as Dick tilted his head to the side, his eyebrows furrowing at the question. “Roy and I were friends yeah,” he replied. “I mean I feel like we’re more acquaintances now. We were definitely closer when we were younger, but we still keep in touch occasionally.”
“What happened between you two?” His mind was running through different scenarios that could fill in the new blanks appearing as the story unfolded. A fight of some sort? Simply going their own ways?
Dick sighed. “Roy...” He trailed off, trying to find the right words. “Roy fell in with a bad crowd and picked up some bad habits. Got in some serious trouble.”
“Like arrested?” Was he crushing on a criminal? Not that that would completely make or break things but it surprised him. Roy didn’t seem like the criminal type.
“No nothing like that,” Dick rushed to correct. “It’s probably not my place to say, but Roy went through some things. Used alcohol as a coping mechanism and it… spiraled from there.”
Jason stayed silent letting that new information sink in. He understood unhealthy coping mechanisms and addiction from his own battle with self-harm. Understood how dark of a place one could get to and how difficult it was to claw your way back up. He’d done it himself, was still doing it if he was honest. As his therapist liked to remind him, healing isn’t always linear. He gently tugged the sleeve of his cardigan down a bit more, a habit more than anything. “He seems to be doing better though ever since his daughter was born.” He nodded. That made sense.
“Why are you asking?” Dick was giving him with a look he couldn’t quite read and Jason could feel his anxiety spike ever so slightly.
“Oh.” shit why hadn’t he thought of an excuse that was viable and not lame. Oh, just low-key crushing on this guy and it’s probably nothing I mean I barely know him but I know you know him and I need more information to hopefully deter me from this stupid crush because I forgot how terrible they are, but he actually seems like a really good guy and now I’m conflicted. “I, uh, met him and his daughter at the library a while back. Seemed kinda familiar but I couldn’t place it.” That sounded realistic enough.
Dick’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t think you and Roy ever crossed paths when we were friends.”
Shit. “Sure we did.” He could feel his cheeks heating up and he turned his gaze back to his mug, tracing the arrow pattern painted on the side with a finger.
“No, you wouldn’t have. Bruce refused to let me have him over because he was adopted by Oliver Queen and Bruce hated, well, still hates him to some degree now, but really hated him back then.” Busted.
Looking back up Jason could see the cogs turning in Dick’s brain as he started putting the pieces together. “You want to tell me what this is about or do I need to reach out to Madi? I have my theories but I want to hear you say it.”
Jason knew Madi wouldn’t rat him out, but his mind was on a loop of nope, nope, nope. Back pedal! “It’s nothing. We should go back to talking about that new trainer you think is cute at your gym. What’s his name again? Wally?” Anything to abandon this topic while he still had his dignity.
“No, no, no, Jaybird, we’re talking about this.” Dick was now using his big brother voice which meant not only was he not about to drop this topic, but now Jason was in for a lecture. Kill him now. He groaned and leaned back into the couch hoping it would swallow him up. He had no such luck. Dick took his mug from him, placing it on the coffee table next to his own. “So you like Roy I’m assuming?”
It felt like his face was on fire from the embarrassment. “I never said that.” Yeah, death would be kinder than this, Jason was sure of it.
“Okay, hypothetically if you did,” Dick continued on, his eye roll clear in the tone he used. “I don’t think that’s a bad thing.”
Jason raised an eyebrow. He could tell his brother actually believed what he was saying. ”That’s easy for you to say.”
Dick could charm anyone without even trying. He was the epitome of a Golden Retriever in human form, completely irresistible and lovable. An actual ray of sunshine and not to mention extremely attractive which was obvious to anyone with eyes. Jason on the other hand was like a grumpy old cat that someone found in their dumpster, rough around the edges and probably better off alone. He could think of at least ten reasons off the top of his head why people should steer clear of him, especially Roy.
“I know that look. Stop overthinking it.”
“I’m not overthinking it.” Great, now he sounded like a whiny toddler arguing with his brother. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea to act on anything. I shouldn’t have even asked.”
“But you did come over here and were asking about him.” Dick pointed out. “Which leads me to believe that you’re smitten. Maybe even past that point.”
“Not you too.” Jason groaned, sitting up. “Look, it’s not a good idea. He has a kid-”
“Lots of people have kids. You just take it slow.”
“He’s doing fine on his own-”
“But he could be doing better with someone else. That’s not your decision to make for him.”
“I’d be a terrible boyfriend-”
“That’s because you-”
“Dick, stop.” Jason pinched the bridge of his nose. Leave it to the optimist to try to find the bright side of everything.
Dick sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I just want you to be happy, Jay,” he said earnestly. “You refuse to see the good in yourself. You’re so hard on yourself, but you deserve happiness. I hope you know that.”
“And, on that note, I’m leaving!” Jason announced, standing up. He couldn’t spend another minute here. He could feel his anxiety starting to stir under his skin. His eyes were starting to burn with the telltale sign of tears coming and he was not about to cry in front of Dick today. “Thank you for the coffee. See you again in another two months.”
The door closed behind him with a thud as he booked it for his motorcycle outside.
Notes:
As always kudos, comments, extra kudos, etc. fuel me! I hope you’re enjoying this fic!
Chapter 5
Summary:
Lian forgets a book she needs to return. Roy returns it to her and runs into Jason.
Notes:
This chapter is up a little later than I wanted it to be but I blame the fact that we went back to the library and I was like “ah yes worldbuilding and clarification”!
Did I edit this? No I was too excited to get this posted… so apologies for any errors! Might go back and fix them later.
TW: Brief talking about Roy’s past with alcohol and an allusion to Jason’s past self harm.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It was another late night at the shop for Roy which was becoming more common of an occurrence. As soon as the air started getting crisp and the leaves started falling, people were eager to get their cars in to prepare them for winter. So on the one hand, it was great for business and typical of the changing seasons, but on the other hand Roy was exhausted.
He groaned as he straightened up, his body protesting the movement after being hunched in the same position for so long. His back would be yelling at him for that one in the morning.
But he was finally done with the last project he’d set out to finish and was ready to call it a night. Pulling his phone out, it showed it was 10:04pm. Back in the day, that would’ve been toward the beginning of his Friday nights which typically consisted of him getting absolutely wasted to the point he barely remembered what he did. Now it seemed he was leaning a little too heavy into being a workaholic. One day he’d find a balance.
Roy sighed. It was definitely later than he was hoping he would be here, but fortunately it was only him left at the shop. Ollie had picked Lian up in the late afternoon so she could spend the weekend with him and Dinah. He was extremely grateful that they only lived in the next city over and were happy to help out when they could. It helped that Lian absolutely adored them. It all made the single parent thing a little easier.
He flicked the lights off in the garage and his office once he made sure he had everything. Walking past the front desk he stopped. Sitting right where he’d left it was a book Lian had checked out that was due back tomorrow. He’d asked Ollie and Lian to drop it in one of the library drop boxes on their way out of town. Obviously neither had remembered to grab it and Roy had been too busy to remind them.
Roy picked it up with a huff, shaking his head. He had a few options at least. He could detour to drop it off tonight, but that was in the opposite direction of the apartment. As great as it’d be to cross it off his list and not worry about it he was well past ready to be in bed. Plus, he was due for another early morning to get caught up on the admin side of things.
That left tomorrow. He didn’t want to get up any earlier than he had to for obvious reasons. After work would probably look the same as today and the library closed earlier on Saturday than it did during the rest of the week. Turning it in late was not an option. Lian would never let him hear the end of it.
He determined that tomorrow during his lunch would be better. Then he could walk over to get out of the shop and drop it off in person. And if he saw Jason in the process… he wouldn’t complain. He smiled slightly at the thought, switching the final lights off before walking out the front door and locking it behind him.
~
Roy was grateful he’d thought to wear a jacket over his henley and ditch his hat at the shop as the cool afternoon breeze cut through again. Leaves scattered around the sidewalk and twirled into the road as he continued down the last block to his destination. He had one hand in the pocket of his jeans while the other braced the slight chill holding onto the lone book to be returned. There was no doubt about it, fall was officially here to stay.
Walking in, he was surprised by how quiet it was. Normally it was packed on a Saturday afternoon with the kids being off and parents trying to figure out what exactly to do with them, especially on a chilly, cloudy day like today. That’s not to say it was empty. There were still people meandering through the stacks and kids in the children’s section with their parents. It simply wasn’t the usual chaos Roy had grown accustomed to.
He slid the book into the return slot and continued on. After he’d informed Lian this morning that he’d be returning the book on her behalf, she’d begged asked him to pick up another book for her while he was there (because of course she did). He agreed (because of course he did) which is how he found himself in the middle grade section looking completely lost.
Roy knew how to use the library, thank you very much. He had a few books of his own checked out (although his had been renewed a couple of times since he wasn’t quite as fast a reader as his daughter). So he was capable of , that wasn’t the issue. It was more so that the children’s section was set up just different enough that he was having trouble. Not to mention that the shelves were, well, child level and bending over made Roy’s back protest after the night before. God, he was turning into such an old man despite being in his early 30s.
“You look lost,” a voice spoke up and Roy nearly jumped out of his own skin. Jason leaned on the bookshelf in front of him, a small smile on his face. He was wearing a deep red, almost maroon sweater today that brought out his teal eyes which glinted with mischief. And, yeah, so what if Roy noticed that it hugged his arms nicely too. Were all librarians’ arms that muscular? Was it all the lifting books and pushing carts around? Okay yeah he’s staring. And he can feel his face starting to heat up. He should say something.
“That obvious?”
Jason pinched his fingers together. “Just a little bit. I could see you from the teen section walk around the same group of shelves three times and thought I should intervene.” He nodded his head over toward a room with glass walls that had “Teen Room” written on them. Okay, yeah, it was obvious. “I’m going to guess you’re looking for a book for Lian?”
“Yeah, but I can find it I’m sure,” he replied. “I’m sure you’re busy.” There was no reason to take up more of Jason’s time than he already was.
“Well, lucky for you it’s kind of dead in here and I’m caught up on most of my projects.”
“Why is that? I feel like there’s usually a lot going on on a Saturday.” Sue him, he was curious.
Jason nodded. “No, you’re right. That would be thanks in part to a variety of things going on including a college football game which usually makes things pretty dead. It’s a big rivalry game today. We’re also not doing very much programming this week as we gear up for all the events we’re going to be hosting in October.”
Roy made a mental note to look into some of those events for… reasons. “Okay, in that case I guess I’ll let you help me out.”
Jason laughed. “I’m going to guess you’re looking for a Magic Tree House book?”
Wow cute and smart. “Yeah, it’s this one.” He showed Jason the note on his phone where he’d typed out the title.
“She’s really flying through that series,” Jason commented as he led Roy over to a shelf that he definitely had passed a few times already, pulling the requested book out after a few seconds of searching.
“Yeah, I have no idea how she reads so much so fast. I struggle to find the time myself.” He chuckled and scratched the back of his neck.
“It’s easier when we’re young. I don’t read nearly as much as I did when I was a kid.” He handed the book over to Roy. “But sometimes it’s just a matter of finding the right book to get your attention.” That sentence felt pointed, almost like Jason asking something without asking something. He seemed to be searching Roy’s face for some kind of reaction or maybe Roy was just reading into things and wanted Jason to be asking him something. Was he that desperate for this man to show interest in him? Oh he was down bad.
“I think I might be close to finding something,” he settled on, giving Jason a small smile. Vague enough that if he was reading into things it wasn’t awkward, but enough of an answer that if there was underlying meaning it wasn’t ignored. It wasn’t a lie either. He was interested, Lian just made things… a little more complicated.
Jason nodded, biting his lip. “Well, while you’re here do you want some recommendations for when she inevitably catches up to that series and its spinoffs,” he offered.
“That would actually be great.” Roy could kiss this man. “I know she’s going to want something to read after this
“Alright, come with me to ‘my office’.” Jason put the last words in air quotes as he led the way back into the teen room.
The room was more spacious than Roy realized. The space expanded out leaving plenty of room for comfy arm chairs and cafe tables while still feeling cozy and safe. One big gathering table was pushed to the side with a shelf holding board and card games next to it. A game console and TV were tucked away in the corner with seats in front of it. Posters for upcoming programming and different clubs were posted on pillars and walls throughout. A small table with different flyers and pamphlets to resources was set up by the door. A couple of teens were spread throughout the area, some reading and others chatting quietly amongst themselves. He could already picture Lian enjoying this space in a few years.
The teen desk was right by the door which gave a good vantage point to what was going on outside in the stacks but also in the room itself which was probably necessary when a bunch of teenagers were all in one space. Roy had gotten into plenty of trouble in his teen years and almost all of the time it was in a group.
The desk itself was fairly barren minus some papers strewn across it which Jason rushed to put into a more reasonable pile as he sat down. “I’ve been putting together some ideas for a display,” he explained, fanning through the pages so Roy could see the different book covers and titles on them. Glancing over he also saw a pencil holder with a variety of pens and pencils. Sticking out was a small gay pride flag.
“So is this just your desk or…” he tailed off, eye brow raised as Jason’s eyes followed his gaze. The flush on his face was almost instant.
“Oh, uhm, no this isn’t technically my desk. I have one in the back, but I’m here the most so, uh, yeah that’s mine if that’s what you’re asking.” Jason stumbled through, running a hand through his hair and messing up his dark slight curls in the process. Roy couldn’t help but notice the tension in his shoulders like he was bracing for something bad. “It’s good to have out for the teens too. Let them know this is a safe space and that they can—”
“I like it,” Roy told him gently with what he hoped was a reassuring smile, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I’ve got a bi pride flag in my office at the shop kind of like it.” Lian had insisted on it actually but he was proud to have it out along with a framed picture of the first pride he went to with Lian and the rest of his family. It had been such a choatic day, but it was filled with great memories.
With those words, he felt the tension melt from the other man’s body. “Alright, well let’s get some book recommendations going.” He started to roll his sleeves up, but hesitated as soon as the sleeve started to get to his wrist. He shook his head and let go, starting to type into the search pulled up on his computer instead. The sleeve fell back down to its original place.
“Okay so tell me more about what she likes about the Magic Tree House books,” he requested.
“How much time do you have?” Roy joked and Jason chuckled.
“Alright let’s start with the basics.”
By the time he made it back to the shop it was only 15 minutes past when his lunch break ended (he was the boss, he could be late occasionally) with a book for Lian, a list of recommendations for her to try once she completed The Magic Tree House series, and a couple of books for himself personally selected by Jason after some extensive questioning. And if he was smiling a bit more after all of that, who could judge him.
~
That night as Roy was finishing dinner he called Ollie’s phone expecting to talk to Lian before she went to bed and see how her day had been. And of course to let her know that her next read had been acquired by the best dad ever. But instead of the usual greeting he was met with a female voice asking, “Are you seeing someone?”
He nearly spit out his water. “What? Dinah, why would you think that?”
“Because if you are that’s fine. I know both Ollie and I have been pushing you to get back out there and you’ve been hesitant because of Lian, but you could’ve told us.”
“Whoa, slow down. What is this about?” His brow furrowed. What was he missing? He hadn’t been on any dates in years.
Dinah sighed in a way that let him know she was pinching the bridge of her nose out of annoyance that he wasn’t getting it. “Then who’s Jason?”
“How do you-”
“Lian’s been talking about him nonstop.”
“Oh.” That’s when it clicked together. Jason was the first person outside of Lian’s usual topics (school teachers, classmates, friends) that would’ve come up. Probably when she was talking about their library adventures. Roy rolled his eyes. Of course their minds would go there. “No, he’s just a nice librarian we’ve run into a few times.”
There was shuffling on the other end. “Do you like him?” Great. Mia was on the phone now.
“What?”
“Oh my god, Roy, do you like him?” Mia asked again and he could hear the eye roll in her voice. “Like do you want to date him and kiss him and take him home and—”
“You’re insufferable,” he deadpanned cutting off her tirade before it went further downhill than it was already heading. He hoped Lian wasn’t in the room for this, though knowing his family she wasn’t. Thank goodness.
“And you’re not answering the question,” she shot back.
It was Roy’s turn to sigh and rub a hand down his face. Why had he bothered calling again? Oh, right, his daughter. Mia wasn’t going to drop this so he opted to tell her the truth. “Yes, I might have a crush on Jason if that’s what you’re asking.”
Mia actually squealed in response. He was grateful that he’d put the phone on speaker, but turned the volume down slightly anyway. “Okay so when are you going to make a move?”
“I’m not.”
“But you have a crush on him?” She said it like things weren’t making sense. Like somehow it wasn’t obvious why that wasn’t supposed to happen.
“Yes, but I also have a daughter who likes the library. If I actually do make a move and it goes south she’ll never forgive me. Not to mention I need to take her into consideration with everything I do. I’m trying to provide her with something stable, something—
“Stop using Lian as an excuse to get in your own way.”
Roy felt like he’d been slapped. “I’m not doing that.”
“I love you but you’re dumb. Lian likes Jason. That much is obvious. All you need to do is go out on a few dates, test the waters, and don’t tell her until it’s more of a sure thing. You’re an adult. You can go on a few dates with someone and still be friends or acquaintances if the romantic thing doesn’t work out. That’s kind of what the community does anyway.”
“But—”
“No buts. Why not be ‘selfish’, and I’m putting that in air quotes you can’t see because it’s not really selfish, but why not be selfish and see where it goes? You deserve to be happy and have a life.”
Roy wanted to argue but knew it was useless. The little voice in the back of his head told him that it was pointless. He’d worked hard to get where he was but there was always the chance that things could take a turn for the worse. He was lucky to have Lian and he didn’t want to ruin that. Didn’t want to mess up somehow.
“I’ll think about it.”
“Thank you,” Mia said. “We’re all rooting for you. Even Ollie.”
Roy groaned. “I’m never going to hear the end of this am I?”
“Absolutely not,” Mia told him and he could hear her smile. “Lian! Your dad wants to talk to you!” He heard her call followed by the sound of running footsteps signalling that this conversation was over for now.
~
When he got off the phone with Lian he sat there for a moment in the silence of the apartment. The earlier conversation was still replaying in his head. It was easier said than done, but maybe Mia had a point.
He looked over at the stack of books he’d placed down earlier. The ones that Jason had helped him pick out today. Without realizing it he found himself smiling fondly over at them. Maybe he’d start one tomorrow. Maybe Jason would give him more book recommendations down the road. Maybe he would shoot his shot and actually ask the cute librarian out. But that was a later Roy problem.
Notes:
I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Looking forward to writing more! Will Roy actually ask Jason out soon? 👀
Chapter 6
Notes:
Alright another chapter, who's excited!?
This may feel a bit filler-y but I promise the worldbuilding is important for some ideas I have down the line that will hopefully come up in this fic or might end up being separate one shots in this world. But that's TBD (and a later me's problem haha).
Please ignore any inconsistencies with the timeline of this fic if there are any 😅... I've derailed slightly from the initial plan (whoops!) but I think this is going to work nicely! (I might go back later and fix things up... we'll see though.)
Anyway, I hope y'all enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The last half hour before closing was one of Jason’s favorite times to be at the library. While he had learned to thrive and adapt to the chaos over the years, nothing beat the solitude that fell over the space like a light blanket at this hour.
Yes, there would be the occasional straggler running in for a last minute read, frantically searching the shelves for what they were looking for and leaving with either a look of triumph or defeat depending on their luck. Or the ususals who waited until the last possible second to head out into the night to wherever their next haunt may be. But outside of that the quiet and calm settled while the librarians finished their final tasks for the night and made sure the library would be set to go for the following morning.
The teen space was quiet save for his typing on the computer as he wrapped up a few lingering projects on his list. October was only a few days away which meant some of their main programming for the end of the year was coming up.
Each year the library hosted their annual “HallowReads” celebration during the month of October which ended with a big fundraiser. Jason had a few events he was in charge of hosting for the teens and a few he was helping others out with. The fundraiser was an all hands on deck situation that no one was able to get out of. The whole month was a huge lift for everyone, even moreso than summer reading but only because of the short timeframe. Despite how exhausted everyone ended up being after it, Jason always thought it was rewarding seeing the community come together over a love for reading.
Looking over the list of upcoming events, he couldn’t help but wonder if Roy and Lian would be partaking in any. Surely at least Lian would and Roy would tag along like the good father he was. Jason hoped he was right anyway.
It’d been a couple of days since his last encounter with Roy. He officially knew he at least stood a chance which only made his last conversation with Dick replay in his brain more than it already had been. Everything was so much easier said than done though and he had work to focus on anyway. There was no reason to overthink it all even more. Right?
His train of thought was interupted by Madi doing the closing announcements one more time over the speaker system. He took that as his sign to call it good for the night and logged off the computer.
Jason continued through is usual routine making sure that the teen section was clean and organized before turning off the lights and heading toward the back to grab what he needed from his desk.
“You’re in a rush to leave,” Madi commented as she walked over to her own desk to grab her coat.
He shrugged, slinging his tote bag over his shoulder. “It’s the calm before the storm. Have to enjoy our freedom to leave on time while we still can.”
She laughed. “You’re so not wrong though.” The two fell into a comfortable silence as they walked down the stairs to the back exit. “So… have you seen Roy around lately?”
Jason rolled his eyes. Subtle, Madi, real subtle. “I saw him the other day.” He briefly recounted their interaction to her, internally grimacing as her face lit up.
“And you didn’t ask him out right then and there,” she questioned.
“No, Madi, I didn’t.” He sighed. No one else seemed to understand his inner turmoil on this it seemed.
She stopped in front of him, blocking his path. “As much as it pains me to say it,” she told him dramatically. “Like actually pains me to say it. I agree with Dick.” She made a face like the words had left a bad taste in her mouth though Jason knew she was joking. “Oh that was awful.”
He rolled his eyes at her once again. “I regret filling you in on that.”
“No you don’t.”
“No I don’t,” he relented after a brief pause. It was nice to have a friend to talk to about all of this even if he didn’t necessarily want to talk about it right this minute. “I’m still thinking on all of it.”
Madi nodded, satisfied. “I’ll accept that answer.” And like that she dropped the subject and started talking about her latest read. Some science fiction book she’d picked up on a whim but was really enjoying. She was trying to figure out if there was a way to incorporate talking about it in one of their upcoming events. Jason held the door open for her as they walked out into the brisk night, double checking the door locked behind them.
“Need an escort home,” he offered. It was at the point in the year where it was always dark out when they closed and he’d feel better knowing she got home safe.
“Nah, I’m meeting some friends and we’re going to walk over to that new pub that opened up down the street for a bite and a drink. One of them will make sure I get home safe, I promise.”
“Be careful. Text me when you get back to your apartment!” He called after her as she started to walk away.
“I always am! Thanks, dad,” she teased and gave him a small salute as she continued to walk down the street into the night.
Jason checked his phone. It was only 8:16pm and he was off tomorrow. He could go back to his apartment and turn in for the night. That’s what he normally would do. Curl up on the couch with a good book and then turn in early. Instead he found himself wandering back towards the main strip of downtown.
The main street was lined with small shops which included a good mix of boutiques, bars, two local bookstores (one used and one new, both of which Jason frequented), and a handful of coffee shops with a range of hours between them.
The bell rang above the door as Jason walked into The Ember Room, a coffee shop that doubled as a dry bar, which happened to be open late. The place was eclectic in a way that gave a cozy and homey feel with lots of the furniture being mismatched and thrifted from various places over the years. Polaroids and photos hung on the walls depicting the wide history of the shop. Jason was in at least one or two of those that he knew of. He was a creature of habit if anything so while this wasn’t his usual haunt for coffee in the morning, it was one of his typical haunts after hours or on the weekend.
The space never felt overly crowded to him despite its popularity which was half the charm in his eyes. Even when they had live music the crowd it brought in never felt too big for the space. Currently, only a few other customers lingered in the shop which was to be expected for a random weekday night. A small group occupied one of the bigger tables playing some card game and a couple of people had set up camp in some of the arm chairs in the middle of the space.
“Jay! Long time no see,” the person behind the counter greeted him with a bright smile. Jason recognized them instantly. They were wearing their usual work outfit of a plain baggy t-shirt tucked into high waisted corduroy pants underneath their apron. Their celestial sleeve tattoo on display on their tanned skin matched by the moon and star earrings dangling from their ears. Their dark curls were cut into a bob with subtle navy blue and purple streaks scattered throughout.
He smiled. “Hey Kai.” They were one of the baristas that Jason had gotten to know over the couple of years he’d been coming to this place. They typically worked a few weekday evenings/nights to help pay for undergrad and now grad school.
“What can I get for you? Nonalcoholic beer?”
Jason shook his head. It wasn’t that he didn’t drink, he did occasionally, but he liked the nonalcoholic stuff just the same if not better. But tonight he wasn’t in the mood for either. “Just a decaf coffee with a little bit of cream.”
“You got it,” they replied. “I’ll bring it over to you.”
Jason made his way to a small table in the corner and pulled his current read out of his bag as well as his laptop. He decided he could alternate between getting further into the book (it was one for a book club he’d be leading with the teens during HallowReads) and working on some of his own writing if he so chose. Though, if he was being honest, it would probably turn into him finalizing some more work things. Sue him, he really enjoyed his job.
Kai dropped the coffee by not long after he managed to get himself settled. Sipping his coffee he enjoyed the peace of the space until it was time for them to close about an hour later. And if his mind wandered over to Roy every now and again on the walk home and he found himself smiling at the ground… that was his business and his alone.
Notes:
I hope you all are enjoying this fic so far! Comments and extra kudos are always welcome (and appreciated!) <3
Chapter 7
Summary:
Despite his best efforts, Roy has a very rough day.
Notes:
Okay, I'm not going to lie... meant to get this posted earlier this week but then life happened 😅 so I put off posting this to 1) fix the outline I had because I deviated from it and didn't want to write myself into a hole and 2) wanted to get a couple of chapters written in advance so I can attempt to post consistently. Hopefully that helps!
Also support your local libraries!!
TW: Brief mention of past alcohol abuse but we don't linger there for long
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Roy was running late for work and the one thing he knew was he needed coffee if he had any chance of surviving the day.
It had been an unlucky chain of events starting with his usual alarm failing to go off. That was followed by Lian being cranky because she’d stayed up too late the night before and dragging through her usual routine. From there things had spiraled. It was a miracle he’d managed to get her to school on time.
Now Roy found himself pulling into a parking spot in front of his go to coffee shops. At this point a few more minutes late wouldn’t make much of a difference. His crew at the shop already knew and were starting on their assigned projects.
Walking in, he was hit with the smell of espresso and the sounds of the grinder and steamer working as one of the baristas worked on a drink. Fortunately, the space wasn’t as busy as it normally tended to be and Roy was able to get his order placed and paid for immediately.
He took a moment to breathe for what felt like the first time this morning as he waited, slumping into an empty chair. He groaned as he ran his hands down his face, his stubble scratching against them and reminding him he hadn’t had time to shave before leaving the house. This morning had been one of the rougher ones in the last few months. But coffee should help… hopefully.
“Roy?” A familiar voice called making him look up.
Sure enough, Jason was standing at the other end of the bar, two to-go drinks in hand. He had on a forest green sweater today paired with his usual jeans, a bag hanging off his shoulder. He walked over a sat down, pushing one of the cups across the table to him. “Thought I’d save you the trip.”
“Thank you.” Roy all but snatched the coffee up and took a long sip, savoring the way it burned going down.
Jason let out a small chuckle. “Rough morning?”
“That obvious?” He rubbed the back of his neck. He got a nod from the other man in response. “Nothing I can’t handle.” And it was true. In the grand scheme of things, a bad morning wasn’t the worst thing in the world. He could bounce back. “What brings you here this morning?”
“Needed to get some coffee before work. This is my usual spot,” he explained. “Which speaking of work reminds me…” he started going through the contents of his bag and pulled out a flyer. “Our annual Fall series of events, HallowReads, starts this month. There might be some events Lian could be interested in. Or yourself.”
Looking through, he could immediately spot quite a few that would be right up Lian’s alley and his own. “I’ll definitely see if we can attend a few. These seem like fun.”
Roy checked his phone quickly. He really should go. He had things to do at the shop today and they were already slightly behind scheduled on a few projects. But there was something else he had wanted to tell Jason the next time he saw him.
“Oh! I started that series you recommended to me!” Roy told him and he couldn’t help the warm smile that spread across his face as Jason’s lit up like a Christmas tree. It was like when Lian got the chance to talk about books. No wonder the two got along so well.
The questions immediately started coming. “How far are you in? Do you like it?” He waited eagerly for the answer.
“I’m enjoying it so far. Not too far in though,” Roy admitted. “Work’s been busy.” Which may have been an understatement.
Jason nodded. “Same over here so I definitely understand.”
He wondered if this was a sign. If he should rip the bandaid off and ask Jason out now. I mean, what were the odds they’d end up at the same place at the same time? And no time like the present right? Before he chickened out or found an excuse not to.
“Hey I was wondering if you’d want to—” His phone buzzed cutting him off. He instantly reached for it. There were few people who would call him out of the blue and it usually wasn’t a good thing. This time it was the shop which no doubt meant something happened.
“Shit,” he muttered. His brain was already running through the different scenarios that could be going on. Had they forgotten a job? Did a part not come in? Did a part break? Was a customer unhappy? “Jay, I’ve gotta go, it was great seeing you though!” He scrambled to grab his coffee and the flyer and rushed out without even waiting for a reply. He almost dropped his phone and his keys in a rush to answer the call.
“We have a bit of a problem,” one of his mechanics spoke over the phone, guilt laced in his voice.
Roy chanced one look over his shoulder and his eyes caught Jason’s. He seemed like he was trying to play it neutral, but he could tell that his smile was a little less bright. Guilt washed over him. “I’m sorry,” he mouthed before turning around and focusing back on his call as he got to his car. “How bad is it,” he asked although he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.
~
By the late afternoon Roy was wondering why he’d stopped drinking. Obviously he knew why and he wasn’t going to throw away his sobriety, but after the day he had the urge was there. It was one problem after another.
The person who would usually work the front desk called out sick, so Roy had to fill in there for part of the day until he was able to get back up in. Then he had to get on the phone with some of the suppliers to try to expedite getting some parts into the shop. One of his new hires had made a couple mistakes on some invoices that he had to fix. A key part broke on one of their current projects and Roy had to be the one to tell the customer that it would be a few more days. They had not been happy.
The list went on and on. He could feel the tightness in his back and shoulders settling in thanks to the stress. His head was starting to pound incessantly with a headache he’d done his best to ignore all day. He currently had it resting on his desk, the coolness of the wood giving him a slight reprieve. He was exhausted and just wanted to go home. It had to be close to being time to leave. At least he hoped so.
“Hey boss,” one of his employees poked her head through the door. “What are you still doing here? It’s 4:50.”
Roy’s head snapped up. “It’s what!?”
Lian was supposed to be picked up at 3:45. He hadn’t gone to pick her up and bring her here. Why hadn’t the school called him? He searched frantically for his phone, finding it under a pile of paperwork. They had called. Twice. His heart was racing as he scrambled to grab his things. “Alright, I’m leaving. Close up when you all are done.”
“Yes, sir,” she replied, walking back out into the shop.
As though on queue, Ollie’s contact lit up the screen. Roy answered it without hesitation.
“I got her so you don’t have to worry about that,” Ollie said in place of a greeting. He felt the panic ease up a little bit. Of course when they couldn’t reach him, they’d tried Ollie to come get her.
“Where are you two? Is she okay? I’m heading out now.”
“I brought her back to our place. We just walked in the door.”
Roy wanted to ask why he hadn’t brought Lian to the shop instead, but decided against it. It was probably best that she hadn’t endured the chaos at the shop that was today. He also wanted to call Ollie out for not answering the second question. Instead he just said, “Okay. I can be there as soon as I can.”
“We’re having chili tonight. You two are welcome to stay before you head back home.”
That… actually sounded nice. Not having to cook after today. “That’d be great actually. Thank you.”
“You doing okay, kid? You sound tired.”
Roy let out a breath. He didn’t have time to get into all of this. “I’m fine. I’ll be there soon.” He hung up and all but ran to his car to go get his daughter.
~
“She’s in the den with Dinah,” Ollie told him as he opened the door. “She’s doing okay, just tired.”
Roy nodded. The guilt had started eating away at him the whole drive over, building on itself, but he tried to force a smile on his face as he walked into the home.
He was stopped before he could make it very far. “Rough day?”
“Yeah,” Roy admitted. “One of those.”
Ollie nodded. “You do have a lot going on. Hopefully a good meal will help.” He could smell it already and his stomach growled. Had he forgotten to eat lunch? Probably. Add that to his list of shortcomings for the day.
Walking into the den, he found Lian curled up next to Dinah on the couch with a random kids show on the TV. He crouched down next to the two to be more eye level with his daughter.
“Hey, kiddo,” he greeted with a small smile.
She looked over at him. He could see the tiredness in her eyes, the puffiness around them that showed she had been crying. His heart broke further. “Hi, dad,” she replied, pressing closer to Dinah while she said it.
He looked up at Dinah, her gaze gentle as she looked him over. “Long day. She missed you.”
He looked back at Lian, but her eyes were once again on the TV screen.
~
Dinner was quiet and comforting with Ollie and Dinah doing most of the talking. The food was good as always and things felt more normal by the end.
When it was time to say their goodbyes, Dinah was the last one to pull him in for a hug.
“You’re doing your best. Remember that,” she murmured before pulling away.
Roy could only nod in response, his throat tightening slightly.
“Be careful on your drive home! Text us when you get there,” Ollie called after them.
Lian surprised him by reaching out and holding his hand all the way to the car.
“I’m sorry about today, Li,” Roy told her as she settled into her seat. He meant every word and he hoped that she knew that.
“It’s okay,” she murmured, her voice small. “I know you didn’t mean to be late.” She let out a yawn.
“I’m sorry things didn’t go right today, Li,” he said.
She let out a small sigh. “I just wanted you there.”
“I know I wanted to be there too.” He pulled her into a hug, rubbing comforting circles into her back. He much rather would have been picking up his daughter this afternoon. He should have been picking up his daughter this afternoon.
He pulled away and kissed her on the forehead. “Let’s go home.” She nodded her agreement already reaching for a book from her bag.
~
The drive home was quiet, the radio at a murmur as he drove. Streetlights flicked across the dashboard as they continued on, the roads ahead empty save for a few cars here and there. Guilt still ate at him about the whole situation. He’d failed her today. The fact he’d made her feel abandoned for even a second made him sick.
He was lucky to have Ollie and Dinah step in today, but what would have happened if they were busy or unable to go get her? How long would she have been waiting? Roy wanted to cry thinking about her sitting there in the principals office all alone with no idea if anyone would be getting her. He wanted to cry in general after today if he was being honest.
He chanced a glance in the rearview at the backseat. Lian was asleep with a book in her lap, her head resting up against the window. The passing streetlights lighting up her face every so often. She looked peaceful.
He knew she’d forgive him if she hadn’t already, but it would take longer for him to forgive himself because his daughter is his world. She’s helped make him a better person. Is part of the reason he turned his life around. She brightens his days and he loves her so much it hurts sometimes. She’s his number one priority.
Does he want things outside of what he already has? He’d be lying if he said no. He still desperately wants to explore whatever is going on between him and Jason. To see where things go. To see if it’s real.
But if tonight proved one thing it’s that now is not the time to be adding new factors into the equation. Lian needed him and he wasn’t there. She needs stability from her dad, not him running off after things that could complicate things further.
He tightens his hands on the wheel briefly then relaxes his grip again. That can’t happen again. He won’t let it happen again. He can’t afford a distraction right now. It has to wait, even if his heart aches a little at the thought of it.
Notes:
Thank you all for your continued support of this series! Every comment has made my day! That being said comments and extra kudos are always welcome (and appreciated!) <3
Chapter 8
Notes:
It's time for the next chapter! I'm going to do my best to be consistent with posting every Friday. We'll see if it lasts, but that should at least be the case for the next few weeks!
This is a quieter chapter, but I promise it pays off in the long run!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The library was quiet as Jason shelved returns that had been leftover from the night before or returned after hours. The morning sun was filtering in through the windows as he worked giving an even cozier feel to the space. It was the beauty of the hour before they opened. Nice and calm and relaxing.
He found his mind wandering to the coffee shop the other day with Roy, replaying the interaction over and over. It had been two days since they ran into each other at the coffee shop. Which didn’t mean anything he kept reminding himself as he placed a few books from a popular YA series onto the shelf he’d just finished making room for (not that they’d stay there that long). He still couldn’t shake the feeling that it had felt like something though no matter how hard he tried to write it off.
It wasn’t like Roy was avoiding the library or him for that matter just because he hadn’t seen him in a couple of days. He has a kid and a business to run. He’s busy. Besides they’ve only interacted a few times, he should know better than to expect anything.
Looking back, he clearly was filling in the rest of the question Roy had started to ask anyway. Maybe it was something different and he was just using wishful thinking to fill in the gaps. Maybe it was all in his head. It wouldn’t be the first time.
Maybe he just got ahead of himself is all. It’s okay. The next time he sees Roy he’ll keep it casual. That would be safe.
With a sigh, he turned his attention back to the task at hand. He had to get through this cart before the staff meeting in a half hour and the repetitive motion of shelving accompanied by the soft noises of the books going back into place soothed something in him. He could focus on that instead of other things.
~
The best part of an all hands on deck meeting was the treats. Jason happily helped himself to a second cup of coffee and a donut before settling in next to Madi at one of the tables in the meeting space. She was in a patchwork sweater today which had no business looking as cozy as it did (yeah, Jason was a little jealous given he had to wear his least favorite sweater because he’d neglected to do laundry), her hair in a messy bun. She was busy typing away on her phone when he sat down.
These types of meetings didn’t happen all the time especially since different areas usually had their own schedules and events they were in charge of. But these types of meetings were needed for big events such as Summer Reading or HallowReads where all the librarians were working together more closely. For HallowReads, their first event was three days away as they’d opted to ease into things a little more this year rather than hitting the ground running right away. It made things less chaotic to start off.
“So,” Madi started, her voice dropped so only the two of them could hear it. Jason already knew where this was going. “Any new encounters with Mr. Mechanic?”
Despite knowing he still froze, eyes glancing down at the agenda on the table in front of him, which was quite interesting now that he thought about it, instead of answering. He could feel his face heat in embarrassment, hoping no one had overheard despite her efforts.
“Okay, we’ll talk about it later,” she conceded quickly. That was the thing about Madi. She always could tell when he was uncomfortable and respected that. She started going off about some adventure she’d been on lately with her friends until the meeting officially started to give Jason time to recollect himself.
“Hello, everyone,” Cynthia, one of the supervisors, greeted the group. “Thank you all for coming in this morning. I’m sure we’re all extremely excited to kick off another successful year of HallowReads!” There was a mix of enthusiastic and less so applause from the group at that.
“As you all know, the applications for ‘Lit Kits’ have opened for patrons to get some personalized recommendations from you all. We’ve already got quite a few submitted so be on the lookout for that.” Jason had to admit he was excited for that piece. They did those a handful of times a year and included some fun extras like hot chocolate packets, stickers, buttons and other random trinkets they could think of in addition to some personalized book recommendations for patrons to check out. He was a sucker for giving out book recommendations and, when these went live, it was his time to shine.
“We have one of our first events coming up later this week which will be a bookmark workshop open to kids, teens, and adults,” she continued on. “Most of the needed supplies has been collected and prepared so thank you to Madi for compiling that.” Jason smiled and nudged her over the acknowledgement and she smiled back. “We’re looking forward hosting this. Now, moving on to the next few events…”
By the time the meeting ended, Jason felt like he’d gotten an information overload. His mind reeling as he struggled to file all the details that were discussed. “I understand meeting for that amount of time, but man is it a lot.”
“You’re telling me,” Madi replied as they walked back up the stairs towards the teen room. “But we’ve got this.” She held her fist out to him.
He rolled his eyes and gave her a fist bump, shaking his head as she dramatically mimed an explosion. “You’re such a dork.”
“You love me anyway,” she called over her shoulder before disappearing into the stacks.
~
It was later in the afternoon when Jason caught sight of Lian and Roy walking in. She had a tote bag with her that she was swinging around as she skipped off toward the children’s section. He couldn’t help but smile at the energy she had. It was great seeing a kid so happy to go pick out more books and reminded him why he loved his job.
Despite being tempted to, he didn’t approach them, simply went back to the task he was currently working on which was working ahead on some preparation for a display he had coming up. He was diligently pulling books onto a cart so he could move them to their designated area later.
A few minutes later he heard his name called softly across the way. Looking up he saw Lian waving with a huge smile on her face. He smiled and waved back. She held up one of the books that she was going to check out to him. It was one of the recommendations he’d given Roy awhile back if she needed something outside the Magic Tree House. He gave her a thumbs up and a nod to let her know he approved of her choice (not that she needed his approval but the way her face lit up further told him it was the right call). Roy gave him a polite smile, one that was tight and didn’t quite fully meet his eyes, before ushering her to the check out area.
That dimmed Jason’s mood a little bit. He sighed quietly to himself. Right, I was imagining it. He got back to work once again.
~
That moment bothered him as he went through the rest of his shift leading him to have little to no focus. That was not ideal as he went through some of the “Lit Kit” applications that had specifically requested Young Adult books making them his responsibility. He couldn’t think of anything to recommend too caught up in his own mental spiral.
“Look who I found just in time for you to go home,” Madi announced. Jason looked up with a furrow of his brow only to find Dick walking in behind her giving him a small, careful smile. He could feel his older brother’s eyes analyzing him even if he did try to hide it. When was the last time he’d replied to the family group chat again? Probably a few weeks ago…
Knowing that it became obvious this was a check in, but he still asked out of courtesy, “What are you doing here, Dickface?”
“Can’t a brother just drop in to say hi,” he asked, feigning offense.
Jason narrowed his eyes as his suspicions were confirmed. “Not when you’re escorted by that one,” he nodded his head at Madi.
Now it was her turn to act offended. “I shouldn’t be considered guilty just by association!”
Jason raised an eyebrow at the two of them. “Are you done?”
Madi was the first to break as she always was. “Fine, Dick asked how you were doing because they hadn’t heard from you in a bit and I told him you were fine but to stop by to see for himself.” He sighed. He really needed to get better at replying to things in that group chat. “I also don’t want you burning out like you almost do every year because you put your all into these events and making them great so consider this mandatory self-care time. Done out of love.”
She wasn’t wrong and it was smart of her to get ahead of it. Jason hated admitting that he was predictable like that though. He did put his all into the events he was a part of. He was a bit of a perfectionist and he liked to see the smiles on people’s faces when they attended an event. Sue him, he liked to be good at his job and make people happy. That’s part of the reason he was still in this position.
“Come on, Jay, we’ll have fun,” Dick encouraged. “Get some food. Catch up. I’ll make sure you sleep and stay hydrated so you don’t have Madi on you about that for at least a little while longer.”
As annoying as the two of them could be with their mother henning over him, he actually did appreciate it. Not that he’d ever admit it out loud. It helped quiet the part of his brain that argued that no one cared.
“Fine, let me get my stuff,” he relented as he logged out for the day. He didn’t miss the two of them fist bumping when they thought he wouldn’t see it.
“Long week,” Dick asked once they got outside. The sun was starting to set and the street lamps were beginning to light the busy streets as people drove home from their jobs.
“Yeah,” he replied.
Dick wrapped an arm around him, Jason lowering himself ever so slightly to make it more comfortable for his brother. “Come on, nothing a good warm meal can’t fix. Tim’s planning on joining us too. My treat.”
“You mean Bruce’s,” he corrected with a small smirk.
“Yes, I mean Bruce’s,” Dick replied, rolling his eyes and they both laughed.
Despite it not being part of his initial plan for once he got off his shift, spending some time with two of his brothers was enough to lift his spirits a bit.
Notes:
Thank you for reading!! Kudos and comments are always appreciated (and make my day) <3
Chapter 9
Summary:
Roy and Lian attend their first HallowReads event, a bookmark making workshop!
Notes:
I needed the serotonin boost so you all benefit by getting the next chapter early! 😂 This is a cute one with some sweet moments between Roy, Lian, and Jason. And it’s a little bit of a turning point in the story so I hope you all like it!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Lian was practically dragging Roy though the doors of the library. This wasn’t out of the ordinary, but rather done with the renewed energy of a girl excited to spend a late afternoon with her dad creating bookmarks. She had been talking the whole way there about all the ideas she had.
He’d already triple checked that his phone was on silent before they walked in. This afternoon was for him and his daughter. No shop stress. No emergencies. Only quality time with his focus solely on her.
The library itself was decked out in fall decorations promoting the HallowReads series of events. Decorative leaves were taped to the walls and windows. Roy could see fake pumpkins and garlands decorated the shelves. It felt nice and cozy as they made their way to the auditorium where other families and groups of friends were getting started.
There was a long line of tables that held all the supplies of pre-cut cardstock in various colors, washi tape, stickers, stamps, and glitter glue with a couple of librarians helping to organize the chaos there. In the rest of the room, smaller tables were set up covered in plastic table cloths with boxes of crayons, colored pencils, and markers for people to sit at and create their masterpieces. Quiet music played though it was barely heard over the chatter in the room.
As soon as they were through the door, Lian rushed ahead and politely started making her way through the line. Roy watched her fondly as she carefully selected her materials. It was clear she had a vision in mind that she was hoping to bring to life.
Once she grabbed what she needed, they walked over to a table toward the back corner where it was a little bit quieter. He watched as she set up her work station, placing everything where she wanted it.
“I got one for you too, dad,” she passed him an orange piece of cardstock. “You can use anything that I brought over. Except for the fox sticker. I need that for one of mine.”
“Thanks, kiddo,” he replied with a smile. “How many are you planning on making?”
“Three,” she told him and started to get to work. The two fell into a comfortable silence occasionally broken by Lian telling him a story or two she had forgotten to mention from her day.
Roy loved spending time together like this. Doing something quiet and peaceful together. It hadn’t been happening as often as he liked lately because of the shop. This was a good reminder for him to build it back in where he could.
He took a moment to look up and around at all the other people here doing the same thing. He had to admit, it was really nice seeing the community take time out of their day and gather for something like this. As he indulged in a little bit of people watching, his eyes snagged on one individual in particular, his heart skipping a beat ever so slightly despite his best efforts to remain unaffected.
Jason was standing by a table close by talking with a group of teens. His cardigan sleeves were rolled up with his arms crossed as he laughed at something one of them had said, shaking his head. As though he could feel his eyes on him (yes, Roy may have been staring once again), he watched as Jason excused himself and started to walk over, tugging his sleeves back into place as he did.
“Hi there, Lian,” he greeted warmly. “Hi, Roy.”
“Hi, Jason,” Roy greeted him with a smile.
Lian looked up, a big grin on her face as she realized who it was. “Hi, Jason! Do you like my bookmark?” She held it up to show him. On it was her fox sticker with a tree drawn in the background and fall leaves surrounding it all.
“Wow,” he said as he admired it. “That looks amazing! I love the fox.”
“Foxes are my favorite,” she informed him.
“They’re pretty cool,” he agreed. She all but beamed at that.
“Jason, are you making a bookmark,” she asked.
He crouched down to her level. “I was thinking about making one in a little bit.”
“You should make one now and join us,” she suggested, a pleading look on her face. “Please? We could talk about the Magic Tree House books.”
“I guess I could take a break and join you two if it’s okay with your dad.” He looked over at Roy. This was his chance to politely decline. He should politely decline. That’d be the right thing to do in this situation. The safest option. But Lian had shifted that pleading look on to him. She was clearly excited at the idea of Jason joining them so how was he about to say no?
“Of course you can join us,” he replied.
Lian gave a fist pump in triumph which made Jason laugh as he stood back up. “I’ll get myself some supplies and I’ll be back over.”
~
It was surprising how easily the three of them fell into a rhythm. It felt like this was a normal occurrence, none of them missing a beat. Laughter and smiles were constant throughout as they all worked on their creations.
Lian was now humming, angling herself subtly away from Jason as she worked. Roy raised an eyebrow at her, but she held up a finger for him to stay quiet. He nodded, eyes locking with Jason who had definitely noticed the exchange but pretended not to with a wink.
Roy continued working on his one, but he honestly wasn’t as invested in it as these two were. He was just happy to be in their company at this point.
After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Lian put her pencil down and examined her work. With a satisfactory nod, she turned to Jason with it behind her back.
“Jay, this one is for you,” Lian told him holding it out. It was a pale yellow cardstock one with an open book drawn on the bottom. Spiraling out of the book as though coming to life from it Roy could make out a sword, a compass, a tiny dinosaur, and a little tree with a tree house in it. There were a few other doodles as well.
Jason looked absolutely touched as he gently took it from her hands as though it was too precious for him to touch. He looked it over quietly for a moment, taking in the art he’d been gifted with a smile.
“This is wonderful. Thank you,” he told her in a quiet, warm voice before turning and presenting the one he’d been working on to her. “This one is for you.”
She gasped softly as she examined it in her hands and Roy had to admit, he was impressed as well. The bookmark was a red color and had a fox sticker at the bottom. A path was drawn between the sticker and the top of the bookmark where a little tree house was drawn. Along the path in neat handwriting he had written “Every book is a new adventure”.
“I love it! Thank you!” She all but launched herself at him, quickly wrapping her arms around him in a hug.
Roy watched as Jason’s eyes went wide for a brief moment in surprise before hugging her gently back. “You’re welcome.” His heart may have swelled at the moment.
When they pulled away, Jason glanced around, a gleam in his eyes. “Come with me real quick,” he said. “Bring your bookmarks.”
They got up and followed Jason without question as he led them out of the auditorium and to a different part of the library that Roy knew had to be a staff only area as Jason flipped on the lights revealing a bunch of different machines and work stations. This must be where they prepped everything for tonight, he thought.
He led the two over to a machine on a table in the corner. “We don’t have enough for everyone so you’ll have to be sneaky, but we can laminate these if you’d like.”
Lian all but squealed out a yes, her excitement bubbling out of her body as she bounced up and down.
“Do you want to help,” Jason offered and was met with an equally excited agreement.
Roy watched as the two got to work. Watched as he explained each step to her carefully, answering any questions that popped into her brain with ease and reassurance. Watched as he walked her through a test bookmark to make sure everything was ready to go. Seeing his daughter’s eyes light up like she was witnessing magic, like she was doing magic, while Jason encouraged her was something he knew he’d be coming back to for weeks.
“Now they’ll last even longer, thanks to you,” he told her with a smile as he handed hers back over once they’d cooled. He tucked the one she’d made for him in his cardigan pocket.
“Forever,” she asked.
“Maybe. If you take good care of them.”
Lian beamed and promised that she’d take the best care of it.
Roy was in so much trouble. He was so far gone on this man it was bad and this evening hadn’t helped.
~
“I like him,” Lian said as they were leaving, hands linked and arms swinging between the two of them. She held her freshly laminated bookmarks close to her chest as though to protect them.
“Who? Jason?” Roy asked.
“Yeah,” she replied as though it was obvious. “He’s really nice. And he has good taste in books.”
“You two have bonded over that a lot,” he agreed. That’s what had started this all.
Lian nodded. “I hope he’s at the next event we go to. I like spending time with him.” She said it with such sincerity that it made his heart flutter a tiny bit with hope. She really had taken to him in the few interactions they’d had together. Not to mention he was so good with her which was proven even further tonight. Seeing the two interact had melted his heart over and over again. Made him ache for that to be the actual normal, not something that just felt like it.
To hear her voice that, while it gave him hope, it also made him conflicted. Would it feel the same if he and Jason were to try the whole dating thing? Would that change the dynamic that was already so new and fragile? Would it fit into his life with Lian outside of things like this? There was only one thing he really knew.
“I do too,” he admitted. “I do too.”
The inner turmoil in his head would be keeping him up tonight it seemed.
Notes:
Thank you to everyone who’s left kudos and comments so far! Comments and kudos fuel me and absolutely make my day so please keep sending them my way 💕
Chapter 10
Summary:
Jason enjoys the calm before the storm at the library.
Notes:
My excuse for posting early this week is that it's a holiday week! So I hope you enjoy this chapter! It's another quieter one but we're slowly building up to something good.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
When it came to HallowReads time, it was important to take advantage of the peaceful days. The ones that felt a little more normal and a little less hectic were far and few between. Today happened to be one for Jason coming off the success of the bookmark making night. It had been a couple of days since then, but he had planned for some downtime before the next major event he’d be helping out with.
To say he was anxious about it was an understatement. It was one of their more highly anticipated events they held each year. One where he was more outward facing and expected to be more outgoing than he usually was. He’d done the prep work for it, even practiced his points in the mirror, but it was still something he was doing his best to avoid thinking about for the time being.
He raised an eyebrow at Madi as she thrust a coffee cup into his hand on his way to the teen services desk for the afternoon. He sniffed it and got a whiff of cinnamon. “What is this?”
“Geez, Jay, You act like I just handed you a cup of poison,” she scolded playfully. “It’s a Cinnamon Bun Latte. I know you don’t drink lattes a lot but I thought you deserved a little treat.”
It wasn’t that simple though he knew. Narrowing his eyes he asked, “What do you want?” Somehow, he already could tell the answer wouldn’t be completely work related.
She knew better than to play dumb with him at this point. “What was going on at bookmark making workshop,” she sipped her own coffee, feigning innocence.
“You were there.”
“Yes, and I witnessed you sitting down with some select patrons and seeming to have a great time. Don’t think I haven’t noticed that new bookmark of yours.”
He didn’t have the time nor energy to have this conversation. “I have Lit Kits to pull together,” he told her. “Let me do my job and I’ll fill you in when there’s actually something to fill you in on.”
She narrowed her eyes, scrutinizing him. “Promise?”
“Promise.” He held out his pinky and they shook on it. At that, she relented, telling him to let her know if he needed help with anything before moving on to her next task at hand.
Settling at the teen services desk, he let out a sigh of relief. He had probably a half hour give or take before any of the teens would come in after school to spend time here and inevitably side track him from his tasks for a while. That meant he really needed to focus. He took a sip of the coffee which he had to admit was just what he needed as he opened the pending Lit Kits in his queue.
That’s how he found himself wandering through the stacks looking for certain books that seemed to be the perfect matches, helping a few teens here and there with recommendations in person along the way.
One person he ended up helping was one of his usual patrons, Eden, who came in often and that Jason had gotten to know over the years of being in his role. They had also been at the bookmark making event the other night with a group of friends.
“I didn’t know you have a kid,” they said as Jason handed over a book he thought the teen would like.
“I don’t,” Jason replied, though it came out more like a question in his confusion. Where would they have gotten that idea?
“Wasn’t that your family you were with the other day at bookmark making?”
“Oh, um, no.” He could feel his face heating and took a sip of his now cooled coffee to give himself something to do while he tried to recompose himself. “Just a friend and his kid.”
“Could’ve fooled me. You all seemed really comfortable together.” The teen shrugged. “Well, thanks for the recommendation! I’ll let you know what I think.”
With that they walked away and Jason shook his head, focusing back on the task at hand. There was no point in going down that spiraling rabbit hole at the moment.
~
The next time he was interrupted in the stacks it was by a familiar voice.
“Jason!” Lian called, barreling his way with Roy walking at a normal pace not too far behind, a fond look on his face as he lightly shook his head.
Jason couldn’t help the bright smile that immediately took over his face as he kneeled down to her height as she stopped in front of him. “Hey, Lian!”
“Can you help me find a book,” she asked him.
“Taking a break from The Magic Tree House series,” he questioned. That was probably for the best. She was really flying through it.
She nodded. “I’m looking for something that’s either fall like or spooky.”
It was his turn to nod and give a thoughtful hum, the gears already turning as he thought about what could fit the bill. It made sense. The seasons also had an impact on what he liked to read and he knew it wasn’t a rare thing.
“Well, as a matter of fact, I think one of my co-workers just put out a display with a bunch of books that are in line with that.” He had actually watched them put it up this morning and had helped with the decorations for it (cutting out and drawing faces on ghosts was an easy enough task. He and Madi maybe had a bit too much fun with it in hindsight.) so he was pretty sure that there would be plenty to choose from there. “Let’s see if we can find it.”
Lian nodded and raced ahead, a girl on a renewed mission, so he opted to walk alongside Roy at a normal pace.
“How’s HallowReads prep going,” Roy asked him.
“It’s going great actually,” he replied. “Obviously, the bookmark making workshop was a hit. The next event I’m helping with is ‘Cocoa & Conversations’ which is essentially a few of us librarians and some local booksellers pitching a variety of books to people with a hot chocolate bar and various fall themed treats. It’s usually one of our most popular events. I think it might be close to full already and that’s saying something since it’s at a different venue. I’m a little nervous.”
He was rambling at this point and mentally scolded himself as he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment forcing himself to shut up. Roy was probably trying to be polite while he helped Lian and was looking for a basic answer.
Roy placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, stopping him in his tracks. “I’m sure you’ll do great,” he said looking him right in the eyes, an earnest look in his own. Jason could tell he meant it which did nothing for the blush creeping onto his cheeks.
“Thanks. That means a lot,” he replied, giving an appreciative smile. “How are things at the shop?”
Roy let out a huff of laughter. “Chaotic, but we’re managing. We had so much going on the other week. So much going wrong I should say.” Looking at him, he could see the bags under his eyes and the tiredness in his features. He clearly had been spending late nights at the shop.
“I’m sorry.” Jason frowned. “I know that doesn’t do much, but I’m sure you handled it well.”
“Yeah, we managed, but thanks,” he assured him with a small smile. “We’re back on track now, thank goodness. But that’s why I had to rush out on you at the coffee shop. Sorry about that by the way. That day was a nightmare and then some.”
So that explained that interaction. He felt a little relieved it was something that simple instead of the spiraling scenarios that his brain had presented him with. “No worries,” he replied. “I know that life happens. I’ve had my fair share of chaotic days. Glad everything’s sorted out.”
Looking over, he saw that Lian found the display and was eagerly picking books up, looking at the back, flipping to the first page, reading it, and placing them back where she found them.
They watched in silence as she repeated the process over and over, a look of concentration on her face as she tried to find the perfect one. It warmed Jason’s heart and it felt nice, just standing there with him. Comfortable even being this close, their arms almost brushing.
Finally, Lian found the book she wanted. Tt was clear by the triumphant smile on her face as she wandered over, holding it up to Jason for approval. He of course told her it was a great pick (it was one he actually knew of so he felt comfortable saying that and meaning it) and that he wanted to hear about it once she finished it.
She smiled at that, confirming that she would and said her goodbye to him before walking herself over to the check out stations.
Roy hesitated for a moment and turned to him. It looked as though he was going to say something before he shook his head and settled on, “See you around, Jason.”
“Yeah,” he replied with a smile. “See you.”
With that he watched Roy go over to his daughter, help her stuff her book into her bag which he then threw over his shoulder. He linked their hands together as they walked out.
~
“The library is now closed,” Madi’s voice sweetly echoed from the intercoms. “Thank you for visiting! We’ll open again tomorrow at 10am. Have a good night!”
Jason let out a sigh as he finished up his last bit of admin work for the day at his desk. He wasn’t behind on anything, in fact he felt pretty good about where he was on his task list which was surprising for this time of year. He closed his laptop with a satisfying soft click and packed his bag to leave.
He poked his head out into the accounts desk area where Madi was talking with another one of their coworkers. “I’m heading out for the night!”
“Okay, be safe,” Madi called over to him.
“I will,” he replied and then headed off towards the exit and into the night.
Outside, the wind blew leaves around the emptying roads. Reds and oranges and yellows illuminated from the street lights above. They crunched underneath Jason’s feet as they blew into his path. He didn’t have a specific destination in mind as he walked but somehow he found himself once again at The Ember Room, the bell tinkling above as he walked in.
Settling in a corner with his decaf coffee and a bagel he sent a photo to his family group chat if only to keep them from worrying whether he was taking care of himself. They needed the added reassurance around this time of year.
He understood it, he did, but he was doing good right now. They didn’t need to worry. Yes, he practically lived at the library during this time (more so than usual) and put a lot of pressure on himself for these events to go well, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. He was in therapy. He had coping mechanisms. He was doing good.
He leaned back in his chair, listening as the heat kicked on as he looked back on today. It hit him how easy things had been with Roy and Lian. Especially Roy. How he was able to talk to him and just be himself. Open up a little and was met with reassurance and genuine care. Plus he got clarity on the coffee shop. He could only imagine the amount of stress that Roy must be under. He ran a hand absentmindedly down his arm before pulling out his current read.
Once again, he left right around closing, walking out into the cold night for the second time tonight. He couldn’t hide the small smile on his face from his day. He told himself it was just because of the work, but deep down he knew that was a lie and one part in particular was the reason for his good mood. It was getting harder and harder to deny.
Notes:
I hope you enjoyed this one! This chapter was definitely fighting with me for a little bit and I'm not entirely sure I'm in love with it but Jason really needed some calm time right now with what I have planned for later chapters 😅
As always, thank you all for the kind and encouraging comments! I love knowing that you all are enjoying this work as much as I'm enjoying writing it! It definitely keeps the second guessing myself to a minimum haha
And if you've made it this far, next week's chapter may also be posted in the earlier part of the week due to work obligations I have during the back half of the week! So you'll have that to look forward to!
Chapter 11
Summary:
Roy goes to get some advice.
Notes:
I was going to post this chapter tomorrow, but I decided today would be better since I'll be busy pretty much all the rest of the week (wish me luck 😅). So please enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Despite his best efforts, Roy quickly drew the conclusion that waiting wasn’t going to work. In fact, it may be making his yearning even worse. It was borderline embarrassing how far gone he was for Jason in such a short amount of time. He felt like he was back in school and moping around like a lovesick puppy and had no idea what to do about it.
Which is how he found himself ringing the doorbell to Dinah and Ollie’s after dropping off Lian at school on one of the few days he’d given himself off at the shop. The breeze picked up as he waited, leaves swirling around.
When the door finally swung open, it revealed neither Ollie nor Dinah and Roy’s heart sank.
“What are you doing here,” he groaned.
Mia gave him a shit eating grin. “Having impeccable timing it seems.” She leaned in the doorway looking smug as though she was enjoying the dejected look he was sure was on his face.
Roy didn’t have the energy to deal with this. “I’ll just text Dinah and come back late-”
“No, no, no,” she cut him off and made him stop halfway through his step backward by grabbing his arm. “Dinah’s home and you have that I’m reluctantly looking for help face on. This is my calling.”
He let out a deep sigh in resignation. He knew by now it was no use to even attempt to get out of Mia’s grasp at this point, so he reluctantly let her drag him inside.
“Hi, Roy,” Dinah called over her shoulder in greeting. “Tea?”
“Yes, please,” he muttered all but collapsing into a seat at the kitchen table with a groan. His body’s normal aches and pains were flaring up a bit more than usual today. Probably from how hard he’d been working lately. This was a much needed day off.
“How’s the shop?”
“Busy, but that’s not a bad thing,” he informed her. And it wasn’t. Being busy meant making ends meet. He was hopeful that he’d be able to give out decent holiday bonuses this year to his crew.
“But you’re giving yourself breaks, right?” Dinah raised an eyebrow as she placed a mug of tea down on the table in front of him. He simply nodded and took a sip, almost burning his mouth in the process of providing a non-answer.
Mia snorted from her spot across from him. “That’s a no.”
“I’m off today. I take Sundays off.” He glared at her. Was Roy perfect about work life balance? Even he would admit that the answer was no. But he was much better about it with Lian in the picture now than he was before so he’d appreciate credit being given where it was due.
“Workaholic,” she barely tried to hide under a cough. Despite the mischievous glint in her eyes, he still continued to frown in her direction.
“I’m regretting coming here.” Roy could feel a headache coming on already with this back and forth. This was actually painful.
“Mia, ease up,” Dinah requested as she took a seat between the two, her own mug in hand. “What’s going on?” She placed a hand over one of Roy’s, giving it an encouraging squeeze.
So he started from the beginning and caught them up to speed, rambling along the way and ending with the talk he and Lian had leaving the bookmark making workshop. It felt good to get it off his chest and hopefully get some advice. Dinah gave him a soft look, while Mia’s face showed nothing but disappointment.
“Did you listen to a word I said on the phone?” She raised an eyebrow at him. “Or did it go in one ear and out the other?”
“Well, yes, but-”
“Well, no,” she interrupted him, frustration clear in her tone. “Because if you had you would’ve gotten out of your own damn way by now. You admitted to having a crush on him weeks ago and yet you’re here in the same position as before.”
“What if it’s not the right time? He’s busy. I’m busy.” And if that wasn’t the truth. He felt like he was in over his head most days with everything he currently had going on. “You didn’t see the look on Lian’s face when I wasn’t there for her the other day.” His voice tapered off at the end, the guilt resurfacing once again. It still ate away at him even if she seemingly left that instance in the past already. The wound was still too fresh in his mind for him to let go of or move past. It had broken his heart and he was still trying his best to make amends.
“But Lian likes him,” Dinah told him. “And he’s really good with her. That much has been obvious and that event you two went to solidifies it.”
“Yeah, but-”
Mia was pinching the bridge of her nose now. “Roy if I hear one more excuse come out of your mouth, I swear-”
“Do you want to give us a moment?” Despite it coming out as a question, both of them could tell it was more a command than anything. Holding her hands up in defeat, Mia walked out of the room muttering under her breath about men being too stubborn for their own good.
“Roy,” Dinah started again and didn’t continue until he met her eyes. “Mia has a point. You’re overthinking it and getting in your own way.”
“Dinah, it’s not that simple,” he argued. He wished it was, but there was more at play than just his wants. He was a dad. He was a business owner. Other things needed attention in his life. He didn’t get to do what he wanted consequences be damned.
“It’s not,” she agreed. “But will you regret it if you keep going like this and don’t try?” Deep down he knew he would. What he was doing wouldn’t work in the long term. He didn’t want the “what ifs” and the pining. He wanted Jason.
“I know that things have been challenging lately,” she continued. “I know work is stressful and Lian is your priority. Despite what I’m sure you’re telling yourself, you’re doing a great job with her and being her dad. But you also need to think about you. You’ve come so far with everything and you deserve happiness too. Not that I’m saying you’re not happy; I know you are. But I think there’s more you could do for yourself if you put yourself out there. At least think about it more before you take a hard stance one way or the other on the Jason thing.”
He could feel his throat tightening slightly with emotions. He took a sip of his tea to try to tamp them down. Somehow she knew exactly what he needed to hear. He needed the reminder that he was doing well and that he’s come a long way. He wasn’t anywhere near the Roy he was years ago before turning his life around and that was a good thing. “Thanks, Dinah.”
“Of course.” She smiled at him. “Stop holding yourself to such a high standard.”
Roy managed a small laugh. “I’ll try.” And he would.
~
“Bedtime, kiddo,” Roy called as he walked into Lian’s room later that night. They’d already gone through their bedtime routine and she was in the middle of reading one of her library books. She placed her bookmark in it very carefully before laying it on her bedside table. More specifically the bookmark that Jason had made for her. He couldn’t help the fond smile that appeared when he saw it.
Taking a seat on the edge of her bed, he tucked her in, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “Did you have a good day?”
“Yeah,” she replied with a yawn. “Can we go to the library tomorrow?”
He raised an eyebrow at her. “Are you already done with another book?” He hadn’t remembered her telling him about finishing another one in the past couple of days, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t.
She shook her head. “No, I just want to see Jason. He’s nice and I want to know what other book recommendations he has.” That surprised him a bit though it really shouldn’t have given their conversation the other day. It was the straightforwardness of it that threw him off.
“Well, I think there’s another event coming up that might be fun for us to go to.” He’d have to check the schedule again, but he was pretty sure there had to be something coming up she’d enjoy.
“Do you like Jason?” It was an innocent question and yet Roy found himself blushing slightly and looking away at it. Lian always had a way of surprising him with her blunt curiosity. What was the safe way to answer this that wasn’t a lie but didn’t reveal too much of the truth?
“Yes,” he replied, carefully. “He’s very nice and I like talking to him.”
She nodded with another yawn escaping. “I do too.” Crisis adverted.
“Alright, it’s really time for bed now,” he informed her, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Goodnight, sweetheart.”
“Goodnight, dad,” she replied and rolled over.
He turned out the light and closed the door gently behind him as he left to finish up what he needed to for the night.
~
Roy found himself once again staring at the ceiling overthinking instead of sleeping. He ran a hand through his hair and groaned. This was becoming a bad habit. While it used to be that the stress of work would keep him up or even worrying about whether he was doing right by Lian, now it was Jason.
The thing was, something about it felt right and that scared Roy. Like things were slotting into place naturally. It didn’t feel rushed or forced. It felt like Jason fit into the mix perfectly. That much was clear after the bookmark making workshop. Roy thought back to his laugh. To the way that he was with Lian, gentle and encouraging. To the way that his chest had warmed at every interaction.
The hesitation came from the fact that Roy had a track record for messing up good things. It was amazing that things happened to be lining up right now, but he still worried about the other shoe dropping. How could he live with himself if he took what was currently working and messed it up? Not to mention he was sure he was giving off the biggest mixed signals as he struggled with everything internally. Did Jason even know he was interested or did he think that Roy had lost interest and moved on already?
His spiral was interrupted by his phone lighting up the room. He blinked against the harsh light as he picked it up. It was a text from Ollie.
Talked to Dinah when I got home… I know you didn’t ask for my two cents but I’m going to put it out there anyway… You deserve happiness, Roy. Don’t run from it. Just give it a chance.
Roy sighed and put his phone back down. If everyone was trying to get him to do this, maybe it was worth a shot. He needed to move past this mental block he had. Worst case scenario, Jason said no and they’d have a little bit of awkwardness before things went back to normal. The world wouldn’t end. He wouldn’t ruin anything. Things would be okay.
He flipped over onto his other side. Now to overthink the logistics of asking Jason out.
Notes:
I can't thank you all enough for the kind comments! It's so much fun to hear your thoughts on this fic and knowing there are people reading this and enjoying it keeps me motivated! Appreciate all of you <3
As always, comments and kudos are always welcome and appreciated!
Also, starting next week I might go back to posting toward the middle/end of the week so it may be a little longer in-between this chapter and the next one. Sorry!! But I PROMISE it's worth it!
Chapter 12
Summary:
Jason does his best to survive a slightly hectic library shift and gets an unexpected visitor that turns the rest of his day around.
Notes:
Lol not me putting my summary in my chapter notes instead of where I meant to and hitting publish 🙃 Y'all it's been a week!
But yay another chapter! I think you all are really going to like this one 👀
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jason was on his third cup of coffee for the day which he knew he’d regret when he inevitably wouldn’t be able to fall asleep at a decent hour. For now it was the only thing getting him through the rest of his shift and the event going on currently. Fortunately, he hadn’t been asked to work it (Madi had stepped in before he had been dragged in) but it was incredibly distracting.
Kids were screaming and laughing now that the story was over and they’d moved on to the activity. All the sounds were bleeding into the teen room despite what Jason knew was his coworkers’ best efforts. He could feel a headache coming on as he sat there at his computer staring at the screen, trying to will his mind to block everything else out to no avail. He shifted in his chair and tugged at his sleeves in an attempt to get comfortable. He could feel himself becoming more overstimulated by his surroundings by the minute.
After about ten minutes of losing his focus on the task at hand, he got up with a sigh and wandered out of the room to find something else to be productive doing. He would do anything at this point from shelving to working the accounts desk to refilling the paper in the printers. He just needed to move away from the chaos.
As the noise faded into the background he felt like he could breathe a little easier and he didn’t feel like he wanted to crawl out of his own skin. Realistically he knew this was a clear sign he probably could use needed a break, but that didn’t feel right at this time of year. There was always something he could help out with. He simply needed a quieter task. The overwhelm would slowly fade into the background. He knew this by now.
He set his sights on tidying up the current displays starting with the ones by the check out stations. Given the placement, they were the ones that got the most traction. This month they featured HallowReads specific book recommendations grouped into categories such as cozy reads, paranormal romances, and different types of horror. All had creative signs alluding to the respective theme. They were all beginning to look a bit barren as patrons checked the books on them out, so Jason spent some time reorganizing the face outs to make it look fuller.
Once he was satisfied with the progress he made there, he moved on to some of the displays that were located closer to the stacks. These were less picked over, but still had some holes he was about to fill. He worked slowly and methodically going through the steps, feeling his anxiety ease further as he did so. This was the calm and peace he needed for the rest of his shift.
He rounded the corner to head back towards the check out stations in search of a new task to busy himself with when he caught sight of Roy. He was looking over one of the HallowReads flyers on display by them. His cheeks were still flushed from the cold outside and his usual trucker hat was on backwards today. He was currently in the process of rolling the sleeves of his flannel up oblivious to Jason’s presence.
Naturally as his brain finally caught up and realized it was Roy standing there he froze like a deer in headlights. Now of all times? He wasn’t sure he could do the whole small talk or even human interaction at the moment but he didn’t want to be rude. Maybe he could sneak away before he noticed. He seemed deeply invested in the flyer at the moment so maybe Jason could escape back to the teen room and save himself the embarrassment.
As though sensing his internal struggle and that he was about to bolt, Roy chose that moment to look over at him. He gave Jason a small, unsure smile and started walking in his direction. He shot a small smile back finding himself moving towards Roy as well, meeting him in the middle.
“Hey, don’t mean to interrupt your, uh, librarian-ing,” Roy greeted.
“You’re not. Don’t worry.” He winced as he could hear it coming out flatter than he had meant for it to. Maybe he should’ve ran for it regardless. That may have been less awkward.
Roy’s brow furrowed as he looked Jason over. “Everything okay? You seem kind of stressed.”
He was slightly taken aback by Roy picking up on that right away, but recovered. “Just a little bit of a busy day over here. Been trying to find some quieter things to keep me busy.”
“I get it.” He nodded. “I do that at the shop sometimes when things get to be a bit… much.”
Jason didn’t have much to say back to that so he simply nodded and a silence fell over them. He wanted to cringe. Why did he have to be so bad with small talk today? Roy cleared his throat, shifting his weight slightly. He seemed nervous which was making Jason uneasy.
“So, uh,” he started, but then seemed to hesitate. “Lian really likes her bookmark. She’s been using it exclusively. Thanks again for everything you did for us that night. She had a really great time.”
Was Roy nervous over that or was there something he was trying to talk around? There was no way a simple thank you was making him look like he was about to crawl out of his own skin.
“No problem,” he replied. “She’s a good kid. You’re doing a great job with her.”
That got a smile at least. One point for Jason. “Thanks, I’m doing my best. Doesn’t feel like it all the time, but you know.” He shrugged.
“I’m sure you’re doing better than you think.” He’d seen a wide variety of parents and their interactions with their kids over the years of working at the library. Based on the interactions Jason had seen between the two, he could tell Roy was a great dad.
“Oh, and I’m about halfway through that book you recommended. I’m really liking it so far!”
He beamed. “I’m glad to hear it.” Somehow he needed to hear that today and hearing it from Roy was even better.
“Yeah stayed up late the other night making some progress.” Roy scratched the back of his neck. “Paid for it in the morning though when I went to work.”
Was he… rambling? Yeah, that solidified it. Something was up with him. As a master of rambling when nervous Jason wanted to get to the bottom of it. “Hey, are you-”
“Okay I’m just going to ask before I lose all nerve,” he interrupted. “Shit, this went so much smoother in my head.” Roy let out a nervous laugh. “Would you maybe be interested in getting dinner sometime?”
Jason froze once again reacting like a deer in headlights. Was he dreaming? He felt like he should pinch himself to make sure it wasn’t. “Like a date,” he questioned after a moment. He had to be sure before replying. He’d been burned before and he wasn’t going to let that happen this time.
“Like a date,” Roy confirmed, a hopeful look on his face mixed with nervousness. Okay, yeah, this was happening. He hadn’t read things wrong before. A wave of relief and hope washed over him at that realization.
Jason couldn’t help but smile. “I’d love that.”
He could see as the relief washed over Roy as he pulled out his phone. “Alright give me your number and we’ll find a date and time that works for both of us.”
Jason quickly did, handing the device back over. “Looking forward to it.”
“I am too.” Roy shot one of his dazzling smiles his way and turned to go after they exchanged goodbyes.
He walked back to the teen room in a daze, sitting down in his seat. It didn’t feel real. His crush actually asked him out. And Jason said yes. He and Roy were going to go on an actual date.
As if to confirm it before he could question anything or overanalyze the interaction, his phone lit up with an unknown number. Sure enough, it was Roy.
It’s Roy Harper! What’s your schedule look like next week? :)
He just stared at his phone for a moment. Long enough to let the reality sink in, but not long enough to start panicking about it. In fact, Jason actually found himself getting excited about it. He typed out a reply and they started the process of getting the date arranged.
~
“I got here as fast as I could,” Madi exclaimed, bending over and huffing. She held up her hand as she caught her breath. “I was downstairs helping organize books for the book sale in a few weeks when I saw your text. Yes, I ran all the way here. No, you can’t judge me for that. What’s the update with Mr. Mechanic?”
“He asked me out on a date.”
There was no way the sound that came out of Madi’s mouth could be considered human. Jason immediately found himself being squeezed in a bone crushing hug. “I’m going to ask because I have to, but you said yes right?”
“Yes, I said yes.” He rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t have told you if I didn’t.”
“Well, I had to make sure you didn’t pull any of your self deprecating ‘I don’t deserve nice things’ nonsense and turned him down,” she told him as she pulled away. “I’m so excited for you!”
“Thank you. I think we’re going to take it slow. It’s nothing extravagant, I don’t need that, we’re just doing a simple dinner.”
“I love that for you.” She was beaming at him. “I mean it, Jay. You deserve it.”
Deep down he thought that he believed that too. “Please don’t tell my brothers.”
It was her turn to roll her eyes. “I won’t say a word. Scouts honor.”
“Thanks, Madi.” He smiled. It wasn’t that he didn’t want them to know, he just didn’t need them knowing right away. He knew his brothers and the certain amount of chaos that he’d risk adding into the mix with that information being out there. And if Bruce found out… Jason didn’t want to think about that.
If things went well then he’d tell them eventually if they didn’t piece it together before he did. But this way it put a little less pressure on the date and seeing where things went.
“You’re welcome!” She turned on her heel and headed toward the door. “I expect an update after the fact though!”
“I don’t think I could avoid telling you if I tried,” Jason teased even though it was true. She would corner him for the details if it came to it.
“You know me so well.” She laughed.
Left alone in the quiet, he got back to work and let the reality of it all sink in a bit more. For once, instead of anxiety, he felt hopeful about it all. It was a nice change of pace.
Notes:
Thank you all for so many kind comments on that last chapter! Those absolutely made my week!
Fingers crossed I can finish the next chapter soon to stay on track with my posting schedule. The next one is a really fun one in my opinion!
Comments and kudos are always welcome and appreciated! I hope you all are enjoying this so far!
Chapter 13
Summary:
Jason is freaking out and turns to one of his brothers for reassurance and advice.
Notes:
Alright hear me out… Jason needed a little freak out moment and to turn to his younger brother (and his younger brother’s boyfriend) to process his feelings before the date happens. (I really wanted to have some established TimKon in here y’all just let me indulge in this for a moment please and thank you)
I promise you it’s worth the wait and I hope you enjoy this chapter!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The date was set (tomorrow night) and the actual panic was now kicking into high gear. Jason knew he had to be freaking out since he was standing in front of Tim’s apartment building. It’s not that he only went to his brother’s apartment in emergencies, but even he had to admit he didn’t show up at Tim’s for a casual visit as much as he probably should.
As much as he didn’t want to admit it, Tim would know exactly what advice to give to get him to stop freaking out. He was in a long term relationship himself after all. He had to have some idea what he’s doing.
He stared at the buzzer in front of him. All he needed to do was press it and hope Tim was home and not buried in his work. The longer he stood there though the more he was questioning it. Did he really need to talk to Tim? Jason was an adult. He should be able to handle this on his own.
As he was about to turn around and walk away, the sound of the door clicking open stopped him in his tracks. It was followed quickly by a text from Tim. Stop standing outside like some kind of stalker and get up here.
Jason rolled his eyes but walked through the door anyway, taking the elevator up to Tim’s floor. It always threw him off how different Tim’s building was compared to his own. Where his was a little more run down but cozy, Tim’s was modern and sleek being built only a few years ago. He didn’t even want to know how much his younger brother paid in rent.
With a huff he rang Tim’s doorbell. The door opened to reveal not his younger brother, but his boyfriend, Kon. He was smiling at Jason with that golden retriever smile he was known for leaning in the door way casually with a relaxed confidence. His curls were styled and his usual get up was exchanged for a worn out band tee shirt with joggers so it must have been his day off. Great, two for one. Great timing me.
“Tim said to come let you in before you ran off,” he explained, his tone slightly teasing.
Jason was tempted to turn around and walk away at this point out of spite but it was too late for that. Instead he pushed past Kon and entered while internally continuing to question the life decisions that had brought him here.
The apartment was in its normal state which Jason would describe as functional chaos. The coffee table in the living room had papers and half full mugs of cold coffee along with a few empty energy drinks spread out on it. A throw blanket was draped over the back of the couch and art prints hung on the walls which were both clearly Kon’s influence on the space. The kitchen table had similar clutter but with a laptop charging and colored sticky notes littering the whole area. That must’ve been Tim’s latest work place. Jason noticed a plant on the window sill that actually looked like it was thriving which meant that also had to be thanks to Kon.
It was clear the space had become a mix of the two of them and that made something in his chest ache at the thought that maybe something similar was in his future. So long as he didn’t mess anything up.
“Can I get you a water or tea or something,” Kon offered walking into the kitchen.
“Water’s fine thanks,” he mumbled, sitting down on the couch. “Where’s my darling brother anyway?”
“Finishing up some work thing. If he’s not out in another five minutes I’ll bribe him with coffee.”
Jason raised an eyebrow. “Does he need any more of that this late?” It was no secret that Tim would inject himself with any form of caffeine in an IV if he thought he could get away with it. He was a workaholic at his core, working the longest hours out of any of them, usually to the point that he eventually crashed.
“Don’t tell him but I’ve been slipping him decaf in the afternoons.” Kon winked, coming around to the other side of the couch and putting Jason’s water down by him. He had a steaming mug of tea in his own hands. “So far he hasn’t been able to tell although I think he’s beginning to get suspicious.”
That was actually… pretty clever he had to admit. “I knew there was a reason we tolerated you.” Jason smiled slightly and the other man all but beamed at the praise. He could already feel himself starting to relax as Kon went on to talk about some adventure he and Tim had been on recently. It was nice knowing that Tim had someone who made him take a break every now and then.
“What brings you here,” Tim asked announcing his presence in the room. His hair was sticking up at odd angles like he’d been running his hands through it most of the day. The bags under his eyes weren’t nearly as pronounced as they tended to be which made Jason happy to see. A stray post it note stuck to his shirt which he removed with a furrow of his brow and added to the pile on the kitchen table as he made his way over.
“Am I not allowed to just visit my little brother and check in?” He was trying to play it off but given the unimpressed look he was met with he knew it wasn’t working.
Tim raised an eyebrow. “At this time of the year? When it’s usually us checking in on you because you’ve gone radio silent? Nice try.”
Yeah, he knew that his brother would see through that. No point in beating around the bush on this then. “I may have a date coming up and I may be freaking out a little bit about it.”
“You owe me five bucks,” Kon immediately told Tim who groaned. Jason couldn’t help but give them both a look of betrayal. Were they really making bets? Kon at least had the decency to look guilty as he added, “Sorry. It’s just been a while since you visited and we knew it had to be something. We were both taking guesses at what and decided to make it interesting.”
“And you all wonder why I go radio silent so often,” Jason muttered, crossing his arms. He was ready to leave now and could feel his mood souring.
“No need to be all defensive.” Tim held his hands up in surrender. “We didn’t mean anything by it. So you have a date coming up. That’s a good thing.”
“Yeah, well, I’m panicking.”
“Which is normal,” Kon assured him, putting a hand on his knee in comfort but removing it just as quickly as Jason glared at him. “Sorry.”
“Does Dick know,” Tim asked. He stayed silent looking at the ground. “Got it. That’s a no.”
“Please don’t tell him,” he all but begged even though he hated doing so. He knew the panic must’ve been clear in his eyes. Dick knowing would only make him more nervous. As much as he loved his older brother, he had a tendency to overstep and insert himself into all of his younger brothers’ business in an attempt to help. If Dick found out, he’d be looking over his shoulder the entire date waiting for something embarrassing to happen.
Tim rolled his eyes. “I know better. You remember the one time he tried to spy on one of my dates with Kon to ‘make sure he was treating me right’ and he was in a terrible disguise?”
“It was very obvious.” Kon laughed. “He’s never living that one down.”
Jason snorted. That had been funny to hear about afterward solely because it wasn’t him on the receiving end. And obviously it hadn’t ended in disaster. Although with Dick actually knowing Roy that made the stakes significantly higher.
“So who’s the guy?”
“Uh, his name is Roy.”
“Like Dick’s old ‘kind of friend more like acquaintance at this point’ Roy?”
“Why do you have to know everything?” Jason groaned, slumping back into the couch. “I should just cancel right?”
Tim scoffed. “How do you get that from one clarifying question? Kon, did I say that?”
“No, but,” Kon started, though the raised eyebrow his boyfriend gave him made him pause and think about the rest of the sentence. “It’s probably not a fact he wants to be reminded of, babe.”
“No,” Jason confirmed. “It’s not.”
“Alright, sorry. Moving past that, did you want him to ask you out?” Tim moved into the kitchen and grabbed a mug. Kon raised an eyebrow at him with a pointed look. “I’m making tea,” his brother reassured his boyfriend. “Non-caffeinated tea. Now let him answer.”
“I mean yes and no.” Jason shrugged. He didn’t like being this vulnerable, but he knew he needed to talk this out in order to clear his head. “I want to go out with him, but I don’t want to mess it up.”
“That makes sense,” Kon replied and he shot him a questioning look. He was about to correct him that it felt nowhere near normal when the younger man continued, “When I first asked Tim out I felt the same way you’re feeling right now. We had a good thing going as it was and that would change things. But it ended up working out for the best.”
“Aww,” Tim cooed at him, settling down next to his boyfriend with his mug of tea cupped in his hands. He gave Kon a quick peck on the cheek and Jason fought the urge to fake gag at the display. “I was also nervous. Cassie had to talk me down because I was getting in my head too much about it.”
“That’s what I think I’m doing.” He put his head in his hands. “There are so many things that could go wrong and my track record with romance is terrible at worst and non-existent at best. I mean, he has no idea what he’s getting into. There’s a reason I don’t do this.” Oh great, he was officially spiraling on his brother’s couch while his brother’s long term boyfriend watched. This felt like a new low even for him.
“Jay,” Tim’s voice was gentle like he was doing his best not to spook him. “You’re not your past, dating or otherwise. You’ve healed a lot in the past few years.”
“How about this? Tell us more about it and we’ll give you our honest opinion on the whole situation,” Kon offered, kindness shining through in his eyes.
He broke and told them the backstory to it all. The duo listened intently from start to finish. It made him nervous as they exchanged looks throughout. He bit his lip when he was done, anxiously awaiting their verdict.
“Jay, he’s so into you,” Kon told him with a bright smile and a small laugh. “Like absolutely gone on you already. I don’t think you have anything to worry about. And you have his kid wrapped around your finger.”
“You really think so?”
“Based on what you said it’s a little obvious yeah,” Tim chimed in. “In all honesty, it sounds like he’d be really good for you Jay.”
He couldn’t help but smile at that. He liked to think that he and Roy had a good thing going and that this would be the next step toward something good. But that thought had him frowning. “But what if I mess it up? What if this date ends up being a disaster and it doesn’t work out?”
“Okay let’s not spiral over the ‘what ifs’ for a minute here. You don’t have to know everything all at once. Just take it one date at a time and go from there.”
He took a deep breath. “One date at a time. Okay I think I can handle that.”
“You’re nervous because you care and that’s a good thing,” Kon added. “Just remember you don’t have to be perfect for someone to care about you and want you in their life. Even if things don’t go exactly as planned tomorrow, it’ll all be okay.” And somehow he must’ve known Jason needed to hear that reminder.
“Are you sure you weren’t a therapist at one point?”
“Maybe in a past life.” Kon smiled. “But I also have just learned from being around you and Tim’s stories about you that you’re kind of a perfectionist and hard on yourself especially about things you care about.”
Okay now he felt maybe a little too seen, but it gave him the courage to outright ask what had been eating at his mind. “Be completely honest. Do you guys think I’m going to mess this up?”
“No,” they replied immediately and practically in unison. He blinked in surprise taking in the genuine expressions on their face. Not a trace of a lie and he knew better than to think Tim would lie to spare his feelings. He genuinely hadn’t expected that nor the sincerity in their voices as they said it. He’d never admit it (and would fervently deny it if either one said anything) but he teared up a bit at the support.
“Now that we’ve gone over that.” Tim was straight back to business, getting up grabbing his and Kon’s now empty mugs before moving back toward the kitchen. “You visited late enough that you’re now obligated to stay and have dinner.”
“You’re not cooking, right?” His brother was getting better but still not great at cooking. The last thing he needed was a literal fire to help put out or food poisoning to deal with the night before his date.
“Absolutely not,” Kon assured him. “I was thinking take out from the Chinese place up the street.”
Jason smiled. “Okay I can go for that.”
By the end of the night he left Tim and Kon’s apartment feeling a little lighter and his nerves had settled down significantly. They’d ended up talking through the logistics of the date with Kon offering ideas on what he should wear and Tim giving him ideas for topics he could bring up if there happened to be a lull before changing the subject completely to help take Jason’s mind off it all. Walking out he felt a little more confident that he could do this. One date at a time. He smiled to himself once again looking forward to it.
Notes:
Thank you all for the comments and kudos! They’re always appreciated and make my day! <3
Definitely keep an eye out next week for the chapter I’m sure you’ve been waiting for 👀 I'm working on it right now I promise and I hope I do it justice!
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