Chapter Text
Mira hadn't been back to this part of the country in what ... five years? No, six. Back when there'd been infinite possibilities. When she'd woken up to a pair of sunshine smiles that she'd thought she'd get to see for the rest of her life.
That she had business here grated at her. Her fingers gripped the wheel of her Jaguar, lips smoothing out into a thin red line as the tires crunched on the light snow. She hated when her mind did this to her. Reminded her of the family she'd given up. That she'd made a the wrong choice to leave and build a career.
She had a good life. She had wealth and fame and nearly everything she could dream of. She served food that rivaled that of the greats. Her bed didn't lack for warmth even if her heart froze every lover out.
Maybe she didn't regret her career, but she regretted how it had started. Regretted how she'd left them. And that regret had turned to bitterness; she couldn't remember the last time she'd enjoyed cooking.
Mira lifted a hand to the three interlocked rings that hung around her neck, gripping them in her fingers, the same way she did when she woke up every morning.
She only took them off to shower.
She should thrown the necklace out years ago; she almost had, a few times and the one time she'd gotten as far as throwing it into a bin she'd fished it out immediately. Stone-faced, no crying she reminded herself. Lied to herself.
Gritting her teeth, clenching the rings so hard they left marks in her palm, Mira contemplated yanking it off and throwing them out the car window. She wouldn't be able to go back and find it in the dark and the snow, she could finally be rid of the last reminder of one of the only time in her life she'd felt happy.
Before they'd all fucked it up.
Before she'd fucked it up.
Mira.
Specifically.
The Bluetooth dropped, leaving her listening to the local radio station and she made a note to make a note to actually finally get that looked at. Especially because the song playing immediately took her back to mornings in bed and those fucking smiles and Zoey's voice telling Rumi that 'grumpy' was awake.
Maybe …
Maybe she should see if they were still around. Maybe cold indifference would be a better last sight of them than broken hearts.
She hoped they were still together. If nothing else, she hoped they were still together, the song bringing back memories that she'd tried so hard to bury. Bury in work, bury in women who looked much too much like Rumi and Zoey, bury in men who looked nothing like them.
It wasn't like Mira wanted to even be here. She used to love her job and somewhere along the way she'd lost that passion.
If that wasn't the fucking worse part, she'd destroyed something special and she wasn't even happy.
Moving her fingers between each of the rings, back and forth, Mira wished she could go back. Give up her power and her money and fix it before she broke it. Even if they were starving in a shitty apartment with a single mattress between them, it had to be better than this hollow feeling, this gaping emptiness that just kept growing.
Maybe …
Maybe they wouldn't hate her.
Maybe they could be friends again, if nothing else.
She'd once told Rumi she would kill god for them both. It had come out a joke but she'd meant it. But she had to try. This fucking road and the town she was driving to and the fucking song and all the memories rushing back… All she wanted was just one chance.
Maybe … maybe she could pretend for a little while that this trip wasn't going to suck after all. It wasn't even for her, she was returning a favor but maybe she could get something out of it too.
"Okay Mira, get into town, check in to the hotel, then figure out of they're even still around."
And then what?
'Hey I know I left and never returned any of your texts do you want to get coffee?'
Yeah no. Start with 'hello' and go from there. Hope there's a 'there' to be a start.
For a few more minutes she listened to the radio and the crunch of tires on the snow, tapping her fingers on the wheel in increasing anxiety.
She never saw anything, had no warning. Just snow in her headlights, the overcast sky darkening towards evening.
One moment she was driving smoothly along, the next a tire suddenly lost traction and the car spun out, hitting something on the right side. The world spun, car flipping and —
Oh this wasn't fair at all.
She was going to die the same way she'd lived; unhappy and alone.
Mira jolted awake, sitting up and shaking, hand reaching for her necklace. A necklace not around her neck. Her eyes open as the alarm started playing that fucking song.
The room was small, painted a shitty salmon pink, the ratty curtains barely matching.
"What the fuck," she whispered, looking around at a bedroom she hadn't seen since she was twenty. Pushing the blanket down, she swung her legs out and stood, running her hands over her body. The only injury she found was a healing cut on her knee that—
—that was in the exact spot she'd earned herself a scar trying one of Zoey's insane skateboard tricks.
"This can't be real." She paced back and forth, running her fingers through pink hair. She'd stopped dyeing it after she'd left, even if the act of conforming had killed her inside. But this couldn't be real, "I hit black ice the car spun out what the fuck."
She could still hear it echoing in her ears, the crash of metal and shattering of glass and her scream that wasn't so much terror as regret mashing two names into one agonized sound. Her eyes watered and she wiped at them.
Mira looked down at herself, half appalled half overjoyed—her fucking stupid ass polar bear night shirt. Another thing she'd left behind that she'd missed.
Okay. Okay okay okay. Mira moved to her nightstand, turning off the radio and pulling her phone off the charger. The little crack in the corner, the case that was the same color as her hair that Rumi had gotten her for her birthday after Zoey had knocked it off the kitchen table.
The pin was the same pin she still used: 2315
Rumi was born on the twenty-third, Zoey on the fifteenth. Completely different months and years, so she'd just taken the days because she'd been pathetically in love with them both through the entirety of high school and after. She sucked in a breath when she saw the home screen—Rumi and Zoey up in the mountains with the sun setting behind them. She'd taken it not long after Zoey's graduation, around when they'd all moved in together.
She'd never bothered to delete it from the cloud and it was probably still on the screen of this phone where she'd left it in a drawer somewhere in her penthouse.
Taking a breath she checked the date.
December 1st, 2019
She and Rumi had been twenty, then. Zoey a year younger. They'd been living together nearly a year.
In three days she'd kiss them. In thirty-five she'd be gone.
Mira dropped the phone onto the bed and resumed pacing, now tugging at her hair and she stared at the time before turning towards her door as footsteps approached.
"Zoey," she whispered, heart in her throat. The last time she'd seen her there'd been excessive tears and yelling.
And then her head popped in. No make-up with a sunburst smile and her hair still all over the place from sleep, "Mira!" She turned and called out, "Rumi! Grumpy's awake!"
The smile that crossed Mira's face was uncontrollable.
Zoey turned back, "Morn—oof!"
Mira rushed over and enveloped her in her arms, squeezing her tightly. Zoey immediately hugged her back.
"Are you okay?" Zoey pulled back after a moment, staring up at her as Mira tried to get her face back to casually neutral despite desperately counting Zoey's freckles. How had she forgotten them? She used to know this star-map by heart.
"Yeah just had a really bad dream." She went along as Zoey tugged her down the hall and into the tiny living room. Rumi was in the kitchen — even though Mira was the professional in this household, Rumi liked to prepare breakfast. As if she were taking some of the load off of Mira by doing so.
Mira usually made sure to return the favor for dinner and when they were all sharing the day off, Zoey took care of lunch.
And she loved them for it.
Almost as if sensing Mira's internal distress, Rumi stepped out of the kitchen, characteristically already fully dressed, long purple hair braided down her back. If Zoey's smile was a sunburst, Rumi's was a warm sunrise and she was as warm and solid and present as Zoey was when Mira hugged her.
"Bad dream," Zoey said.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Rumi pulled back, hand on Mira's cheek, gentle concern in her eyes.
"Dreamed about a car wreck. Hit black ice driving into town on the freeway," Mira said, forcing the words out. "My last thoughts were of seeing you two again."
Whining, Zoey wrapped her arms around Mira again and Mira squeezed them both as hard as she could. They were real they were solid they were here and they were hers. She was struggling to remember the timing on a lot of things; their first kisses, their dates, the general falling into things that had only made the eventual hurt worse.
She had to figure out what she needed to do differently to not lose them this time, but she had at least one idea.
"It's okay," Rumi murmured. Her voice laced with fondness and love and god how had it taken Mira so long to realize it? She could hear it, "We're here."
"Yeah, you are," Mira said thickly, the same loaded emotion in hers.
Reluctantly—before it got weird—she pulled away from them. She could smell coffee brewing and Rumi was making egg rice and everything was so perfect. She was already salivating for the simple home-cooked meal, but she needed to figure out what the fuck she was supposed to be doing.
Rumi tucked some hair behind Mira's ear, "Foods almost ready, take a seat on the couch."
Shit. She might actually cry if she got to eat with them on the couch. Mira had come to hate eating alone.
Separating herself from the girls, she sat down on the couch and groaned, "Oh Couch how I've missed you."
"It's been like eight hours!" Zoey giggled and launched herself onto the couch, bouncing once before laying her head in Mira's lap, "But like, yeah I missed Couch too."
It was so familiar and normal that Mira smiled like she hadn't in years as she stroked Zoey's hair, "I can miss couch after an hour."
Instead of sitting anywhere else, Rumi dropped onto the couch on Mira's left side, wedging herself against the arm and Mira's hips. Her fingers joined Mira's in playing with Zoey's hair, "Can I ask you two something?"
"Anything," Mira said, feeling a sense of deja vu. Her mouth opened and the words were out before she could let herself think about it, "Is this about Saturday?"
Rumi blinked, a shy smile on her face, "Yeah, actually."
Mira felt Zoey actually go still in her lap, as if holding her breath, and smiled back at Rumi, "Go ahead."
"Do either of you have a date for the festival?"
"I was just gonna go for the games and food," Zoey said. "Same thing I do every year."
Still stuck on Rumi's eyes, Mira replied, "I was hoping my date could be both of you."
The relief in Rumi's eyes was immediate, as was the release of a breath she'd been holding. Mira had taken too long to answer last time, too stunned and she'd always regretted not answering more quickly. And from the look on Rumi's face and the way Zoey sat up and embraced the both of them, Mira felt like she'd passed her first test.
"Really?" Zoey asked, looking between them, "Please don't be messing with me."
"I'm not," Mira promised. She hesitated before sliding an arm around each of them.
"So it's a date?" Rumi asked, eyes darting between their faces. Mira understood that to mean she wanted to know for sure, in actual words, and to not assume anything. Rumi hated not knowing for sure.
Do you love me or not?
"Yes," Mira nodded, shaking off Rumi's voice from another time. "Right, Zo?"
"Hell yeah!"