Chapter Text
Andrew had contemplated something for quite some time. He'd vented to Bee about it and talked to Renee (unfortunately). It was something that he didn't know why he wanted. Was it even something that Neil would enjoy? It was strange to have a thought about someone else's wants and desires. It left him off balance slightly and more irritable.
It was a Wednesday when Neil got into the dorm after practice and Andrew held out his jacket for him to take with one hand, the other had his car keys in them.
"C'mon, we're eating out tonight," he insisted. It wasn't like Neil had anything else to be doing - he knew he was procrastinating a paper anyway.
Neil wasn't a bad student, per say, but it would always come second to Exy. Especially during the season. It was hard to sit down and write 200 words on Spanish conjugations when all he could think of was the court. Or Andrew. That was a new distraction. One he wasn't quite used to, but he didn't even question Andrew's offer and took his coat.
"Okay.” he agreed automatically. “Should I go get the others?"
Neil was still adjusting to the idea that he actually had time with Andrew. There wasn't a clock ticking down. No imminent threat to fight. It made him restless. Paranoid and anxious, because his mind couldn't simply accept the threat was gone.
"No," he dismissed. Andrew was already wearing a jacket, his feet in boots, and car keys were in hand. He had planned this in detail already, he had just needed Neil's agreement. Once he had it, Andrew didn't care what anyone else wanted of them today.
He walked past Neil and snagged his wrist as he went to tug him out the dorm to the elevator. Andrew shifted his weight slightly as they stood in the elevator down, hands pushed into his jacket pockets. He felt nervous. It wasn't a familiar feeling.
Andrew led him to the Maserati and slipped into the driver's seat.
Neil blinked in surprise but caught up with Andrew in a few fast steps. They didn't normally do things without the others, Neil assumed it was because Andrew was still reluctant to let his brother or Kevin out of his sight. He wasn't sure what Andrew would want from just him but followed behind curiously.
The arm bands Andrew had given Neil to cover the worst of his scarring gave him comfort but he still couldn’t help but pick unconsciously at the scars on his hands as they rode the elevator down. He didn't like elevators, or any small space with no exit for that matter and usually took the stairs if he was on his own. Even if he knew several different ways to escape an elevator they still made him feel caged in and claustrophobic.
Andrew nudged Neil's hands away from picking and curled their pinkies together between them. The best that Neil got when it came to holding hands unless Neil initiated it. He didn't like how red he made his hands from being anxious.
"Where are we going?" Neil asked as he got into the passenger seat, looking at Andrew like he could find answers somewhere on his blank face.
Once they were in the car, Andrew put on his seatbelt and waited until Neil had clipped in before he threw the car in reverse to exit the parking stall. They were pulling off campus when he finally answered. "We're getting food," he reminded.
He looked at Neil from the corner of his eyes before looking ahead again. "Renee recommended a place," he conceded, a little stiffly. Andrew didn't ask people for recommendations about anything, he just did as he pleased - after some planning.
"Food." Neil repeated, as if it were a foreign concept.
They didn't normally go out to eat; besides the stop they made at Sweets before going to Eden's, but that was different. This... It was also different, but in a way Neil didn’t understand yet. He had half-expected Andrew to tell him they were going to do something important, or something that the others couldn't be trusted with or someone to meet, so he was a little baffled as to why Andrew would need just him to go get food.
"Why aren't we just going to the dining hall?" He asked, though Andrew would probably ignore his stupid question.
As far as Neil was concerned food was food. Eating was something he did out of necessity. The dining hall had food specifically made for athletes and so long as it had everything he needed to keep him going he didn't care what it tasted like. That didn't mean he didn't want to go though. He watched Andrew rather than the world outside the window passing by, trying to place why he was acting strangely.
"Yes, Neil, food. Nutrients," he replied dryly. Andrew didn't really understand why Neil was so confused about the concept. They hardly ate out because they had limited time. Normally they spent their free time at the diner and then Eden's since they had to be productive during the little time they had. It was easier.
Neil was right - Andrew ignored the question. He wasn't repeating himself again since he'd already said going out.
But he supposed, considering it, it was something they hadn't done before. Bee had reassured him it was a normal date activity. *Dating.* It wasn't something he'd considered before.
Andrew pulled into the parking lot of a hole-in-the-wall restaurant tucked between two other businesses. It was quieter than a steakhouse or any place fancy. He didn't think Neil would appreciate the attention. He exited the car and waited for Neil in front of it.
"They have good fried catfish." Andrew did enjoy some fried catfish, he hoped Neil did too. If not, there was plenty of other Cajun food in the mom-and-pop sized place. He'd eaten here before with Renee on an outing. She suggested bringing Neil when he'd asked her.
Neil’s father had always cared a great deal about his public appearance so when he was a little kit they would go out to dinner as a "family" somewhat regularly. Neil had always dreaded it. They were evenings tinted with terror, spent walking on eggshells desperately trying not to set off Nathan's temper, the punishment for embarrassing him in public, when they got home was always extreme.
This was totally different. For one thing Neil's father would never go to a restaurant like this. They always went to expensive steakhouses or high end bistros, anywhere that served meat and had a dress code. A place this small and unrefined would have made Nathan curl his lip.
Neil also realized- belatedly- that he normally never would’ve agreed to go with someone to an undisclosed secondary location alone, but with Andrew he hadn't even questioned it. Was it trust or stupidity? His mother would say they were the same thing.
As they exited the car he fell in behind Andrew, looking around as the smell of deep fried food and spice flooded him. It wasn't bad. He might like it. If he knew what he actually liked, that is.
It wasn't the kind of place that had a hostess, you simply seated yourself, so Neil immediately picked out a small booth in the corner. He liked being able to see the doors and have his back to a wall.
When Nicky had first gotten custody of the twins, they'd eaten out plenty at first while Aaron was forcibly recovering. Andrew could cook a few things and so could Aaron, but Andrew wasn't particularly inclined to cook often and Aaron was a bitch about being forced to be sober. It was easier to find cheap food at small diners than shop for groceries anyway.
Andrew had no problems eating at restaurants that were like this. It was no fuss and practically a home cooked meal anyway. He hoped Neil liked it. Then he was irritated at himself for caring that Neil cared.
He let Neil pick out the spot and followed him. The vinyl creaked as Andrew slid into the booth on the opposite side. It didn't take more than a few minutes before the waitress - Kathy, her name tag declared - came to get their orders. Andrew vaguely remembered her from last time, but disregarded the older woman's cheery smile and welcome.
"Coke," he ordered and nudged the menu towards Neil that she offered. He already knew what he wanted. She cheerfully took Neil's order before going to get their drinks for them.
He eyed Neil critically as he leaned back into the vinyl seat before nudging his boot against Neil's foot. "You should have the catfish."
"Just water is fine for me." Neil replied when she asked for a drink, idly drumming his fingers on the table. He wondered what it was about this place that Andrew wanted him to see. It was a nice place, homey, but Neil still felt like he was missing something. Andrew would tell him if it was important, he supposed.
"Okay." He agreed almost immediately to the suggestion. Otherwise he was just going to pick something at random. He had never had catfish before but if Andrew recommended it then it must be worth trying.
Despite his best attempts to relax and enjoy the outing and the rare moment alone they got to have, paranoia kept picking at the inside of his skull. Ever since Riko died he felt like he was stuck waiting for the other shoe to drop. His head snapped up every time the bell tied to the door rang and was restlessly glancing around.
Even tucked away in the corner he couldn't help but feel exposed and vulnerable. It was strange, his father was dead and logically he knew there was nothing left for him to be afraid of, there were very few threats that he and Andrew couldn't deal with at this point but he couldn't seem to get away from that state of constant vigilance.
Andrew didn't show it on his face, but he was pleased by Neil's quick agreement. He liked that Neil trusted him. It was no longer something that he thought he hated either - improvement, Bee would say. Life was still frequently pointless in his opinion, but Neil made it more bearable on even his worst days.
He watched Neil's fidgeting and did little to dissuade it for the first little while. It wasn't his issue that Neil was twitchy. At least until the drinks arrived and Andrew asked for two orders of fried catfish, fries, and cornbread. Carbs were Andrew's preference.
His boot nudged up against Neil's shoe again then hesitated before he pressed their ankles together. "Stop twitching," he said flatly. "If anyone comes over here it would be to get your autograph - not to stab you. Besides me. Stop."
Neil pressed his ankle back against Andrew's, finding the contact oddly reassuring. He snorted a surprised laugh at his comment, forcing his hands to unclench and relax.
"Yeah," he agreed, then again to reassure himself. "I know. Though, to be honest I'm not sure how I would react to that either."
He still wasn't used to being recognizable. It was still a shock sometimes to catch his reflection in passing windows, and he would have to close his eyes and count backwards from ten to stamp out the panic that the sight would spark. He still had the urge to dye his hair back to brown or black, something forgettable and dark. Just something... That wasn't his natural hair color. But he couldn't hide the scars on his face, so there really wasn't any point anymore.
"Maybe they'll want your autograph. You're the best goalie in college level Exy." He countered, sipping his water to give himself something to do with his hands.
There would be resistance if anyone tried to get him to admit to it, but Andrew liked the bright red hair on Neil. He liked his blue eyes better. Admitting to liking things was something he was having to work on. Albeit at an incredibly slow pace and mostly internal. He didn't have to give anyone the satisfaction of knowing him. Neil just knew things without Andrew having to say. He... didn't hate it.
Andrew tugged on one of his lip piercings with his teeth. He glowered at Neil for saying someone might ask for his autograph.
"I bite," he deadpanned. There had been one brave soul (a Freshman) who attempted to ask for his autograph in the last few months when they'd been at the campus Starbucks. Andrew had ignored them. Kevin had been there to be all smiles and put on his disgusting public persona. That was enough to handle that.
A slow, amused smile tugged at his lips. "Would you rather someone stabbed you?"
"I know." Neil sassed back, smirking because he had the marks to prove it.
He was a little distracted by the way Andrew's lip ring moved when he played with it. It was easy to stare at Andrew, it helped him ignore the bell as it rang and the people coming and going.
"At least I would know what to do, I've been stabbed before. No one really asks for an autograph." Not many people approached him at all, let alone asked him for his autograph. Not when Kevin Day was right there. Neil preferred to be overlooked anyways.
Andrew was briefly distracted by the thought of the bite marks he knew were on Neil currently. His eyes darkened a little and he didn't admonish Neil for staring. Bee had said a healthy relationship meant doing things together outside of Exy or fucking (and apparently sparring was also out) so... he was trying. But it was tricky not to want to just have Neil out of his clothes when they had this time to themselves.
"NCAA's Rookie of the Year," he drawled, using the 'award' to tease Neil. "Current captain of the halfway house team. Can't imagine why anyone would ask your autograph." Andrew leaned forward, still keeping their ankles together, and pulled the small container of sugar packets towards him. Before he could make a mess though, their food arrived (fortunate for the waitress).
He leaned back again and let her place a basket in front of each of them before instead grabbing his cornbread to tear it into small pieces. "You could just use your press face, Josten. You've got one of those."
"No, I've got an attitude problem." Neil clarified, with a cheeky grin.
He actually didn't get press duty anymore because of his lack of a press face. When Kevin had demanded to know why he couldn't just smile and lie to the reporters, since lying was second nature to him. Neil responded that *maybe if the press actually asked him about the game or Exy, and not his past then maybe he would.* As far as Wymack was concerned, Josten still couldn’t be trusted in front of a camera.
He followed Andrew's lead and tore into the food. It smelled good and tasted just as good but it was hard not to like warm food.
"You're the one who said I could stay Neil Josten. No more pretending to be someone else." He grinned around his straw as he took another sip of his water. "Maybe I'll follow your example and bite too."
Andrew could do press duty, he just generally didn't get asked to because Neil - as their current co-captain - knew better. Just like Dan had known better. He didn't give the press anything interesting to hear and was barely quotable. He was also very fond of pointing out stupid questions and being intentionally obstinate. It was better for everyone if neither of them were on press duty, really.
He shrugged at Neil's suggestion and chewed his cornbread with his mouth closed. "Houston's not going to want your attitude," he pointed out dryly, naming the pro team currently dominating - and possibly in need of a striker. Andrew didn't care where he ended up playing if he was scouted. He was only continuing on to being pro because it was the best possible path forward for him.
They hadn't discussed playing for different teams yet.
Neil went for the catfish next, not sure how you were supposed to eat catfish so he just went at it with his hands. It was battery and delicious. Andrew was right, it was very good.
"I still have four more years with the Foxes. I'm not looking anywhere else before then." Though the thought of a pro team made excitement buzz through him. Kevin told him he could go pro but the possibility still thrilled him.
"What about you? You're going to graduate a year before me. Where are you going to go? If you could go anywhere, where would you want to go?" He put the emphasis on the word want. Andrew didn't want anything so of course Neil cared when he did want something.
"Renee says four years goes fast." Andrew answered.
Renee, Dan, Matt, and Allison were in their last year. It seemed like graduation was forever away and right around the corner all at once. Kevin never shut up about their futures, Andrew could hardly be blamed for thinking about it. He knew what Neil wanted for his future. It wouldn't be long before scouts would be actually looking their way.
Without the drive to beat Riko, he wondered how well they'd place this year. Without Riko or his uncle, the Ravens weren't at their best even but they would likely still be annoying to beat. And then there was the matter of USC, if Moreau was actually capable of playing nice.
"I don't care," he admitted easily enough and shrugged. He picked apart his catfish and dipped it into the spicy house sauce. "One sportsball team is the same as another." And if they never played him like some teams fridged rookies - good. He'd just sleep on the bench. Andrew looked up from his food with a glint in his eyes - he was making fun of Neil.
"Okay fine, you don't care about the team. But if you could pick; out of any of the cities with major league teams to live in, which would you pick?" Andrew could have his pick of teams. Neil really believed it when he said Andrew was the best goalie in the college league.
Neil liked playing with Andrew, loved knowing he had the best goalie watching their goal but he also liked the challenge of shooting shot after shot against his tireless defense. It would be fun to play on different teams but. He didn't want to be on the other side of the country from Andrew. He liked living with Andrew. He had grown used to it and Andrew made taking up space and just existing easy when it had never been before.
"Would you want to be on the same team as me and Kevin again?" He asked again, this time more direct with his question.
Andrew wiped his fingers off on a napkin before grabbing his glass, having little desire to have it slip from his grasp. He sipped at his drink before narrowing eyes at Neil for suggesting being on the same team as Kevin. He set his glass down and contemplated his answer.
"There is no team that can afford all three of us," he said bluntly. They would end up being expensive players. As much as Andrew loathed to admit that he was good at Exy, everyone else kept shoving it up his ass. It was annoying, but he knew his worth. "Kevin will want a challenge. You will want the best."
His look dared Neil to deny it. Neil had an obsessive need to win and improve, his competitiveness drowned out anything else. He would thrive better on a more effective team, Andrew knew that without needing to check with anyone else. The three of them would play on the US Court together, that was something Kevin whispered plenty.
"...somewhere with good weather," he conceded. "Not cold." Andrew hated the cold. If he had to live somewhere and deal with playing Exy for a living, he wanted to at least not deal with the cold.
Nothing Andrew said was inaccurate, Neil couldn't deny a word of it. It was a little disappointing to think they wouldn't get to all play on the same team again once the graduated but that was just more motivation to make US Court.
It was true Neil couldn't tolerate mediocrity, winning the championship was the first taste of what real victory felt like. It was addicting. The Foxes might have won the nationals but there still wasn't anyone who would call them the best team. Neil was going to force them to though. He had thrown himself into practice and his co-captain duties, but the new freshmen still needed time to adjust and find where they fit in the team dynamic, because no matter how much they practiced, foxes were still foxes.
"Like Florida? Or California? Or Texas? There are a couple teams in Texas." Neil hadn't considered where he would go. He had still been naively functioning under the assumption that he would be lucky to be signed at all, but Andrew was right. The thought of playing on the best team in the country was exhilarating, and Neil’s leg bounced restlessly underneath the table.
"California is on fire more than half the time now," Adrew stated, giving a small shrug. He picked at his catfish rather than look at Neil as he said quietly, "...Texas is anti-queer."
Most of the South was and Andrew didn't want to make his life any harder than it already was. Nor did he want things to be harder for Neil to access, like getting his testosterone or surgery if he ever chose to go down that route. There was also the fact that he realized Neil couldn't keep his mouth shut or his hands to himself. They would get caught eventually and outed if they didn't do a press release early in their careers. For now it wasn't something Andrew cared to worry about.
Regardless of the state's political or social standing, they would have to play for teams that had open positions for them anyway. Andrew would likely go with a team that scouted him rather than wait for the draft - if he was scouted. And then see where Neil ended up after.
"Florida has two teams, but it also has a lot of hurricanes. And alligators." Neil countered as he ate his french fries. While on the run, they had been caught in a summer storm on the Georgia/Florida border and Mary had used the evacuations and chaos to lose the people chasing them.
Houston was number one this year, but the Miami team was not bad either…
"*We have alligators and tornados,*" Andrew pointed out, openly amused. "You just haven't been anywhere except PSU and Columbia."
Maybe Miami would need a goalie in 3 years. Maybe not. Andrew was serious when he said he didn't care. If it came down to his choice, he'd rather somewhere that wasn't going to be boring or be cold. But he also needed to be adequately paid. The offer was in his court, so to speak, when it came time. He'd let Neil help him
Taking another bite of the catfish and then some of the cornbread Neil nodded.
"You were right, this is good." He still wasn't sure why Andrew would take him out just to try catfish but he wasn't complaining.
Andrew gave Neil a pleased look. "It is," he confirmed. He was already finished his cornbread and most of his catfish and fries. Only the fries were saved from Andrew's preference to tear his food into small pieces. "I... like this place."
From anyone else the statement might not have meant anything more than literal meaning, but from Andrew it was more. Andrew didn't like things. Neil knew that. Or he didn't admit to liking things, so for him to say he liked anything was progress. Progress that Neil sometimes felt frustrated none of the other Foxes seemed to recognize.
He didn't know if that was because he was the only one Andrew trusted to say when he liked or wanted something, and have that thing taken seriously and not used against him in any way, or if the others just really didn't understand Andrew at all.
Maybe it was a combination of the two. Those simple words were enough to settle Neil's curiosity about why they came. Andrew liked this place and he wanted to share that with Neil. That was more than enough for him. It made something warm and unfamiliar flutter in his ribcage.
He ate a few more fries and grinned. "Me too." Though his definition of like was still fairly rough and undefined. He liked that Andrew liked it. That was enough for now..
"Good." Andrew flicked his balled up straw wrapper at Neil in retaliation for his grin. He suspected what was going on in his head and he deserved having the wrapper connected with his face for it as far as Andrew was concerned. He finished his food off and set the basket to the side of the table, easy for the waitress to grab. He wiped off his fingers before finishing up his drink.
The waitress returned to check on them and Andrew ordered a banana pudding to go. He also pulled cash from his wallet to pay for their dinner, ready to leave so he could have a cigarette. "You finished?"
Neil didn't have the appetite to match being a college athlete. He had a small stomach and out of habit, and didn't like eating to the point of being full. Being hungry was inconvenient but being sick was even more so. He was getting better at eating regularly, and constantly testing the patience of the Foxes sports nutritionist, but he still rarely ate all his food. He asked the waitress for a box to put the rest of the food in for him to take back to the dorms. He could finish there.
He finished the last of his water and as the waitress left to get them a receipt Neil produced a crumpled 50 dollar bill from his shoe and left it on the table as a tip, since Andrew hadn’t (and rarely did). It was probably double what their order had cost but he didn't bother calculating by exactly what percent. He didn't have bills smaller than 50 and the waitress hadn't asked about Neil's scars so she was okay in his book.
"Okay." He agreed, getting up and slipping his hands into his pockets to follow Andrew out, giving the waitress a polite nod as they left.
"That was... Nice." Neil said when they reached the car, checking it once over as paranoia once again picked up in his head. "Thanks for taking me."
Andrew wasn't too particular about who paid for what. He was pretty sure on a date he was supposed to pay, but he didn't begrudge Neil spending money however he liked. He picked up the box for Neil's food and the banana pudding after slipping out of the booth.
Both containers were passed to Neil along with the plastic utensils wrapped in plastic. He was pleased that Neil had liked going for dinner. Things like 'thank you' and 'your welcome' - manners, people called them - Andrew wasn't good with words of gratitude.
Andrew reached across the center console for Neil, tugging him by his jaw closer. He leaned in to kiss him gently. Kissing was always a 'yes' between them - and if it wasn't he could always pull away and Andrew wouldn't offended.
He kissed him warmly and thoroughly like he'd wanted to do in the restaurant. Andrew dragged his teeth over Neil's bottom lip before he withdrew into his own seat. "Put your seatbelt on," he commented, turning the ignition over.
Neil leaned in to the kiss, licking the taste of sugary soda off Andrew's lips and chasing more. He always felt pleased, deep in his core when Andrew kissed him. It was a mix of an adrenaline rush and a wave of euphoria all in one.
He buckled his seat belt but he didn't lean back, elbow propped on the console. He didn't want to go back to the dorms just yet. They didn't have much time by themselves and he would much rather spend time with Andrew than do his essay.
"Do we have to get back right away?" Neil asked, a curious tilt to his head. "Could we go for a drive? I don't really care where but I... Don't wanna go back just yet."