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Naruto never thought Kakashi’s voice could instill such feelings of rage and dread in his gut, yet here they were.
It was a week ago, once training was finished. Kakashi caught Naruto as he was making his way back home and struck up a conversation. At first, Naruto was bursting with excitement. Maybe Kakashi was going to let him in on some top-secret technique, or bestow some amazing power that Sasuke would be boiling with jealousy over. He laughed at the thought of his envious, sputtering face, that is, until Kakashi shut his book and dropped the question.
“Hey, Naruto. Is Iruka-sensei single?”
Such few words should not have struck Naruto with the force of an anvil tied to a well-fed bull, but it did anyway, and Kakashi had absolutely no right to look so calm about it, even as Naruto yelled and snapped that there was no way in hell that his pervy, irresponsible sensei could possibly date the kindest man in the world.
“And-And besides that-!” Naruto continued. “You're both guys, and that's really weird, don't you think?”
“Says the kid whose first kiss was with Sasuke.”
“Shut up!” he yelled, his face bright red as he jabs a finger at Kakashi. “That was an accident! Iruka-sensei deserves way better than you, so I’ll never let you have him!”
Kakashi only huffed in amusement. “Feels like I’m being lectured by a father. Well, I just wanted to give you a heads-up.” He stopped, and Naruto realized that they were already standing in front of his apartment. “You two are going out for ramen later, right? Say hi to Iruka-sensei for me.”
“As if! He's never gonna date your pervy ass, believe it!”
“Sure, sure.” Kakashi waved him off nonchalantly. “See you tomorrow, Naruto.”
-
So Naruto had more than enough reason to be seething when he hears leaves rustle above him in the middle of his run, followed by that damn laidback voice.
“Yo, Naruto, I’ve been thinking about how to ask Iruka-sensei out. Do you think he'd like dinner at Ramen Ichiraku?”
“Stop asking me for advice!” Naruto looks up with gritted teeth at Kakashi, who's casually sitting on top of a tree branch.
“Well, you're the closest one to Iruka-sensei.” Kakashi winks, though it's hard to tell with his concealed eye. “Not for long, though.”
“Shut up! If you take him out for ramen, I’ll kick your ass!”
“Hm, you might be right.” Kakashi puts a hand on his chin thoughtfully. “You two do eat there a lot. Maybe he’d want something else. Do you know if he likes desserts?”
“Lalalaa, I can't hear you!” Naruto covers his ears before taking off into a sprint. “Have a good day, Kakashi-sensei!”
As Naruto runs off, in the corner of his eye, he sees Kakashi waving cheekily at him, as if he doesn't have a care in the world.
Naruto sprints just a bit faster after that, accidentally tripping on a rock that launches him face-first into a puddle of mud. When he tries to get back up, the slipperiness of the forest floor causes him to fall again, and Naruto wonders if God is just messing with him at this point.
-
“Naruto, what happened to your clothes?” Sakura asks.
Naruto only mutters angrily in response, wiping off the metal plate of his forehead protector with what little clean surface area remains on his muddied clothes, all while staring daggers at Kakashi. “I tripped.”
“Ah, don’t worry, it happens to the best of us.” Kakashi smiles under his mask, and Naruto wonders if he's doing his best to hold back laughter. “You can wash in the river later. For now, we have a new type of training today.”
Naruto lights up, briefly forgetting his anger in favor of the key words “new” and “training.” “Really? What kind? What kind?!”
“A very special kind, so much so that I brought in someone else to help me teach you today,” Kakashi explains with a slight lilt to his voice. “He should be arriving anytime now.”
Naruto bounces eagerly on his heels only for his excitement to die a horrible death and be immediately replaced by rage when a rush of air brings Iruka to the group.
“Good morning!” Iruka smiles. “Kakashi-sensei asked me to help with your training today. Nice to see you’re all doing well.”
“Thank you again for doing this, Iruka-sensei.” Kakashi puts a hand on his shoulder, visibly happier and getting far more close than necessary. “I’m not that great at these things.”
Iruka, compassionate and stupid as always, just laughs. “It’s fine. I haven't been outside in a while, anyway, so thank you for the excuse.”
“That's not healthy, you know.” Kakashi’s grasp moves to Iruka’s chin to examine his face, tilting his head up slightly and making alarm bells ring inside of Naruto’s head. “Your skin will get all pale if you don’t go out more. I know a good trail through the forest if you-”
“Kakashi-sensei!” Naruto yells, causing everyone except the subject himself to flinch. “You said you were gonna be teaching us, weren't you?!”
Kakashi sighs but pulls his hand away. “Yeah, I guess so. I'll leave the rest to you, Iru-sensei.”
Iruka stammers a bit at the nickname before clearing his throat and pulling a scroll from his flak jacket. “Anyways, today we're going to be learning about conserving chakra while performing consecutive jutsu. In a fight, you won't be allowed any rest, and your opponent may take advantage of you when your stamina runs out, so it's important to pace yourself and your chakra usage…”
Iruka lectures for a couple of minutes before Kakashi takes over once more, but Naruto can't muster the effort needed to pay attention even after Sasuke elbows him harshly a couple of times, too occupied with the fact that while Iruka was demonstrating a series of hand seals, Kakashi reached up and put one hand over his own in order to show the students the “proper technique.”
And as Kakashi looks over at Naruto with shameless satisfaction, Naruto wonders if he'd still be allowed to be the Hokage if he punched his instructor into the stratosphere.
-
“STOP FLIRTING WITH IRUKA-SENSEI!”
“I have no idea what you're talking about,” Kakashi says, turning to the next page of his book. Naruto responds by storming up to him with all the anger he can gather in his (considerably shorter but no less powerful) body.
“You were touching his hair!”
“He asked me to. It was getting tangled, so I straightened it out for him.”
“For thirty minutes?” Naruto stares him down, which is much easier since Kakashi is in a sitting position and has already sunk low enough for him to reach.
“...Fair enough,” Kakashi admits rather sheepishly, closing his book. “Alright, I have a deal for you. If you stop yelling at me in front of Iruka-sensei, I’ll teach you some new techniques, ones that not even Sasuke knows about yet.”
His anger falters. For a second, Naruto imagines an alternate reality where he happily accepts this proposal, and Kakashi takes him under his wing and helps him rise to his full potential. Sasuke would acknowledge him as the superior ninja, the village would sing his praises, and the Hokage would bow before Naruto’s feet, begging him to take his title.
But then Naruto also imagines Kakashi doing the same things he's read in his perverted novels to Iruka, and rage fills his body once more.
“That's not gonna convince me!” Naruto turns his head away in defiance. Kakashi chuckles, rising to his feet as a hand reaches into his pocket.
“Yeah, I expected that. Then how about I give you a challenge? If you can overcome it, I’ll back off entirely.”
“No way! Really?” Naruto grins in anticipation. “Alright, bring it on! What's the challenge?”
Kakashi pulls out a single bell on a string and jingles it in front of him. Naruto's shoulders slump.
Not even the biggest helping of ramen in the world could have consoled him after his defeat.
-
“Narutooo-”
“GO AWAY!” Naruto shrieks, slamming the door on his face. The barrier of brittle wood, however, does nothing to deter Kakashi.
“Does Iru-sensei like flowers?” he asks through the door. “I’d like to give him a few when I ask him out this weekend. I saw some at the shop the other day, and they-”
“First of all, stop calling him Iru-sensei-”
“Nope.”
“Second, if you say they reminded you of him, I'm gonna quit being your student.”
Kakashi falls silent for a moment. “Fine, I won't say it.”
“Good.” Naruto folds his arms despite his teacher not being able to see him.
“They do, though. Something about the color of his eyes-”
Naruto lets out a noise of frustration. “Why do you keep asking me about these things?! I’m still never gonna let you go out with Iruka-sensei!”
“I know,” replies a voice behind him, and Naruto lets out a rather manly, high-pitched yelp in response. “But I need to try anyway, don't I?”
“Wha-How-When?!” Naruto gapes at Kakashi, who’s now inside of his house. Outside, a quiet “poff!” indicates that the equally annoying bastard outside was a clone.
“I think I mentioned this before, but Iru-sensei cares about you a lot. It'd be wrong not to inform you before I start courting your unofficial father figure.”
“My what?”
“Nothing. Anyways, I know you'll never give your approval, but I still want to make my intentions clear.” Kakashi takes his hands out of his pockets and bows his head, much to Naruto’s surprise.
“I truly care for Iruka-sensei. I have for a long time now, and I want to make him as happy as he's made me. You have my word that I will treat him with the respect, kindness, and love he deserves if we go out.”
Naruto’s eyes go wide before he sputters and forms a glare at Kakashi. “But how do I know you won't try and do anything weird to him?!”
“Eh…” Kakashi looks to the side awkwardly. “Define ‘weird.’”
Without an ounce of hesitation, Naruto kicks Kakashi out of his apartment, politeness and respect for his elders be damned.
-
“Iruka-sensei, why do you hang out with Kakashi-sensei so much, anyway?” Naruto whines in between slurps of ramen.
Iruka laughs. “That's a long story. For starters, it’s nice to be with him, even if he comes off as strange sometimes. He might not look like it, but he's kind and honest underneath that mask.”
Honest, Naruto mocks in his head as he remembers when Kakashi once used Iruka’s minor leg sprain as an excuse to carry him in his arms all the way back to the Academy. (Bridal-style, too. The thought of it makes him want to vomit.)
“And also…” Iruka looks down at his half-empty bowl with a faint smile. “He’s always there for me. Even after working all day and night, he still finds time to eat dinner or go out for drinks together. It must be hard, but he never complains about it.” He sighs. “I feel so selfish, honestly.”
“Selfish?” Naruto frowns. “Why?”
“Well…” Iruka taps his chopsticks against the edge of the ceramic nervously. “I’m not sure if you'll be able to understand it right now, but I really care for Kakashi-sensei. And I'd like it if we were much closer. But…if it turns out he doesn't feel the same way, I'd rather not say anything. So instead, I'm just taking whatever I can get.”
Naruto looks over at Iruka’s self-conscious expression, hearing Kakashi’s solemn words echo in his head.
“I truly care for Iruka-sensei. I have for a long time now, and I want to make him as happy as he's made me.”
His thoughts are interrupted when Iruka sighs in exasperation, pushing aside his bowl to bury his head in his hands.
“What am I gonna do, Naruto…” he bemoans. “Every time he’s around, I feel like a teenager all over again! Am I losing my mind? Did he perform some sort of genjutsu on me?”
Naruto observes his mentor, flustered and angry, cursing himself for asking Kakashi to do his hair the other day and secretly enjoying every last moment of it. Although the topic makes him want to kick his current teacher in the face, he remembers Kakashi’s constant questions about what Iruka would like. The uncertainty carefully hidden behind his laidback, cool demeanor. The seriousness in his eyes as he bowed before Naruto and told him how much he cared.
Even adults can get worked up over liking someone, Naruto learns. He lets out a defeated sigh.
“Hey, Iruka-sensei.”
Iruka reluctantly lifts his head up, still going through the seven stages of grief.
“Are you free on the weekend?”
He blinks in confusion. “Huh? I might have to check. Why?”
Naruto grumbles, hearing the voice in his head yell at him for being such an idiot. But Iruka deserves to be happy, and if he can find it in a perverted, constantly tardy, withdrawn but secretly pining jōnin, then he supposes he can put up with it for some time.
-
This was a mistake. He knew it from the start, and he knew the consequences, but noooo, Naruto had to be selfless for once and set his mentors up on a date, then watch as Iruka and Kakashi’s relationship escalated from “just coworkers” to “so unbearably gay it makes him feel like a side character in a romance movie.”
This morning is a good example. Kakashi shows up late for training once more, but this time, Iruka is beside him, on his way to the Academy. Just the sight of their intertwined fingers is enough to make Naruto gag.
“You gonna work late again?” Kakashi asks, completely ignoring the trio that had been sitting on the bridge for half an hour waiting for him.
“Yeah, probably.” Iruka laughs, his smile a bit brighter than usual. “I haven't finished writing up my lesson plans, and there's still lots of reports to get through.”
“Just don't overdo it.” Kakashi leans over and kisses Iruka on the cheek through his mask, pulling away with a hidden grin.
“Kakashi-san!” Iruka scolds. “Your team is right here!”
“Iruka-sensei, are you two…?” Sakura trails off, looking between the teachers with a slight blush on her cheeks. Even Sasuke appears taken aback, turning to Naruto for an explanation only for him to harrumph quietly.
“Don’t tell the others,” Kakashi says with a wink. “At least, not yet. I still have to collect the winnings from the bets I made.”
“Stop that!” Iruka pushes him away with an annoyed expression, but there's a hint of fondness in his eyes. “Focus on your students for now. I’ll meet you when I'm finished.”
“Sounds good.” Kakashi waves him off. “See you then, Iru-san.”
With that, Iruka walks away towards the direction of the Academy, and Kakashi moves onto talking about their plan for the day like it never happened. However, there's a slight difference in his posture and words, as if he's more energetic somehow.
“Naruto,” Sasuke walks beside him as they're making their way to the forest. “What was that about?”
Naruto scowls at his instructor’s back. “Nothing. Just Kakashi-sensei being weird again.”
“I heard that,” Kakashi cuts in. “If you say one more thing about me, I’m gonna introduce Iru-san to Icha Icha.”
“Don't you dare!” Naruto yells. “And you better treat him right! if you hurt Iruka-sensei in any way, I’ll kill you!”
Rather than sending back some smug remark or nonchalant reply, Kakashi turns back to Naruto, a smile underneath his mask.
“I promise,” he says, and Naruto hates how genuine he sounds about it.
-
The rest of the day goes by normally. They're assigned a mission, Naruto screws up, Sasuke is flawless, they both get mad, they fight, and somewhere along the way, the mission somehow gets completed. Sakura is the one to scold them while their instructor quietly slips away.
Naruto doesn't even realize anything’s changed until he meets Iruka for ramen only to find Kakashi sitting beside him as well, slurping up the rest of his meal with his mask slightly lifted over his mouth. Naruto makes a couple of retorts at him throughout dinner, but it doesn't go any further than that, and soon they're talking and laughing the night away.
At some point, the post-work exhaustion starts catching up to Iruka, who yawns and leans against Kakashi’s shoulder. Kakashi gently pulls his arm out from in between them to rub Iruka’s back soothingly.
“Tired?” Kakashi asks.
“Yes,” Iruka murmurs. “So don't move, I'm sleeping.”
Kakashi, eyes filled with nothing short of adoration, moves his hand to intertwine with Iruka’s and rests his head against the other’s. “Do whatever you want.”
He looks up at Naruto, who quickly jerks his head back to his ramen and goes back to eating. Damn you, Kakashi-sensei, he curses, fighting back the smile trying to force its way onto his face. It becomes especially hard when he sees Iruka sleepily murmur something in Kakashi’s ear, and Kakashi echoes it back, holding him closer than ever before.