placebo feelings

by S4NGRIC

Summary:

it's love at first sight for both juyeon and eric.

it just all seems so easy: they both go to the same university, they both dance, they pretty much have everything in common.

love is easy for them.

until things start going wrong.

Notes:

after months of torturing myself with this fic (i started it in march....), it is finally here!! i sincerely hope you enjoy it.

please check the tags before proceeding and happy halloween! >:3

title from the song 'mirrors' by pvris

The day Juyeon met Eric, it was beautiful outside. It was barely spring, the first real day where it felt like the sun stayed out for longer, and the chill was bearable. Eric was beautiful too, which Juyeon wouldn't admit at the time, but he was a force of nature in himself. 

 

Eric was everything. He is everything. 

 

Juyeon is shooting hoops by himself at his university's outdoor basketball court, content to play on his own. He isn’t having a great day; he’s been hit with a bout of depression, and it took all of his willpower to force himself out the door and to get outside to do something. 

 

He’s happy he did, though; he is soaking up the sun as the day creeps into the afternoon, and it warms his back as he plays. Some boys are having a game on the other side of the court, but it is no issue to Juyeon as his headphones stay firmly over his ears. 

 

His isolation doesn’t last long as a basketball rolls over to him, lightly hitting his ankle. Juyeon looks down at the ball and then up to a boy running over to him, mouthing words that Juyeon can’t decipher until he takes his headphones off, letting them fall around his neck. 

 

“Hey, sorry, that’s our ball!” the boy says, and Juyeon’s movements are slow as he takes in the person in front of him. He picks up the ball and straightens up, and all he can think is— 

 

Pretty. 

 

The boy is undoubtedly attractive, Juyeon’s type to the T. Shorter than him by a good amount, wavy blonde hair falling into his eyes and a face that Juyeon would introduce to his parents. 

 

He stops in front of him, and he has to look up at Juyeon to make eye contact, and he’s cute. So incredibly cute as he stands there, eager and bright. Just bursting with life. By the looks of him, he must be younger than Juyeon, maybe in his first or second year of university. 

 

“Oh, here,” Juyeon says, giving the ball back after a moment of his hands not coordinating with his brain as he takes in the person in front of him. 

 

“Thanks!” he says, and Juyeon thinks that’s it. That they will both go back to their separate games and never speak again. But then he continues, “Do you want to play with us? We don’t have enough people for equal teams… No pressure, though.” 

 

His request comes as a surprise, but also not at the same time. The student in front of him just looks extroverted and sociable. There is no doubt in Juyeon’s mind that if Juyeon were anyone else, the boy still would’ve asked him the same question. It doesn’t bother him; if anything, it intrigues him. He wants to know more. 

 

“Okay,” Juyeon agrees, his mouth pulling into a small smile, and the boy absolutely beams at him in response. 

 

“Awesome! I’m Youngjae, by the way. Or Eric. My friends call me Eric, too,” the boy, Eric, says as he leads Juyeon across the court and over to his group of three friends waiting. Juyeon grabs his bag and water bottle before following and dumps his stuff down next to presumably the rest of the boys. 

 

“Juyeon,” Juyeon says, and Eric introduces him to his friends: Sunwoo and Jacob. They all say hi, and it’s established that Jacob is the oldest of the group and Eric is the youngest. 

 

The four of them split into two groups: Sunwoo and Jacob on one team and Eric and Juyeon on the other. 

 

Eric teases that they are going to win because Juyeon is on his team and he’s tall, which causes Sunwoo to argue back that height isn’t everything, and Juyeon watches them bicker from the side, chuckling at their childishness. It’s fun. Juyeon has his own group of friends, but meeting new people is such a unique experience. You don’t know anything about anyone, but you slowly learn people’s personalities through their interactions with others. 

 

The game starts, and it’s clear these boys just play basketball casually. It’s not a bad thing, but they quickly realize Juyeon has a passion for the sport and is a lot better than they all thought.

 

Sunwoo pouts and says it’s not fair, and Eric laughs in his face. He claps Juyeon on the back when he makes a good shot and calls out to him to pass the ball with a Juyeon-hyung! that sounds so natural coming out of his mouth. 

 

Which is why it feels like it’s all too soon when Eric checks his phone, and with a yell of surprise, starts getting his bags together. 

 

“Everything okay?” Juyeon asks.

 

“I’m going to be late for class… Shit!” he exclaims and shoulders his bag before apologizing for having to leave. “It was cool to meet you, hyung! See you guys later!” 

 

“Wait—!” Juyeon says, but Eric is already dashing across the courtyard to class. Juyeon can’t explain it, but he enjoyed Eric’s company. He at least wanted to exchange some form of social media with him. 

 

“Did you want to keep playing?” Jacob asks awkwardly when Juyeon watches Eric disappear around a corner for a little too long. 

__________________

Life goes on after that. Juyeon goes to class, visits with his friends, has some drinks out on the weekend, and visits his father. Whenever he’s on campus, he walks by the basketball court where he played with Eric, but the boy is never there again. Juyeon is a secret romantic and thought that it would’ve been a perfect meet-cute opportunity. Oh well. 

 

Instead, he sees Eric again in the last place he thought he would, after his ballet class one day. 

 

Ballet is important to Juyeon. He loves how the genre just seems to speak to him. He loves how the choreography pushes and pulls his body. How it tells a story. It’s his way of getting his emotions and feelings out. It has become incredibly vital to him, especially in the past year. 

 

When he’s done with class, he hikes his gym bag over his shoulder and heads out. He dances at a shared dance studio, and there are multiple different types of dance genres being practiced. He walks by a room with a hip hop beat playing, the door is glass and slightly open, and he can’t help but unconsciously look inside. 

 

What he sees nearly makes him trip over his own feet. It’s Eric. It’s Eric inside the room, dancing with one of his friends who was there when they all played basketball. 

 

He’s dressed casually, in grey sweatpants and a black skin-tight tank top. His arms are toned, and his eyes are focused as he hits every beat of the song in perfect succession. He’s mesmerizing to watch.

 

Juyeon stands in the doorway and watches as Eric and his friend practice a song they seem to have practiced a million times, with the way they are so in sync with one another. 

 

The song ends, and Eric notices that they have an audience, his eyes finding Juyeon’s in the mirror. The look of shock on his face turns into one of surprise and recognition as Juyeon gives him a little wave. 

 

“Juyeon-hyung! Hi!” Eric says, walking over to greet him, and he pulls the bottom of his shirt up to wipe the sweat off his face, and Juyeon’s eyes automatically flit down to his stomach. Eric is built, of course, with nice arms, abs, and strong shoulders, and now Juyeon is wondering if he should start hitting the gym more. 

 

“Hi, Youngjae,” Juyeon says, forcing his eyes back up to Eric’s face, and if Eric notices Juyeon checking him out, his face betrays nothing. 

 

“What are you doing here?” Eric asks, still looking surprised that they even ran into each other again, and trust Juyeon, he’s surprised too. 

 

“I dance here too,” Juyeon says, motioning to his gym bag as if it will explain everything. “I do ballet.” 

 

“No. Way,” Eric says excitedly and then proceeds to rapid-fire questions at Juyeon. When did he start dancing here? How long has he been doing ballet for? Does he do any other genres? 

 

It’s a lot, but Juyeon is starting to appreciate that about Eric. He likes to talk, but he will also listen. When Juyeon answers his questions, he feels like he’s actually being heard. That Eric actually cares about how Juyeon started dancing as a teenager and just can’t let go of it because he loves how it makes him feel. 

 

Eric is rambling on about what he and his dance partner Sunwoo are currently practicing, leaning against the wall and casually chatting with Juyeon like they’ve known each other for years, when Sunwoo cuts through their little bubble.

 

“Er-ic Sohn! Sohn Young-jae!” Sunwoo shouts, enunciating every syllable like he has been trying to get his attention for a while. 

 

“Huh?” Eric asks, turning back to his friend. 

 

“We only have the room for an hour. Let’s get back to it,” he says, and Eric turns back to Juyeon with a pout on his lips. Fuck, he’s so cute, and it’s starting to drive Juyeon crazy. He must know what he is doing to him. 

 

“Sorry, hyung. Duty calls,” Eric says before running back over to his place in the practice room and Sunwoo starts the music from the top. 

 

Well shit. Another opportunity lost, as now Juyeon feels awkward and creepy still standing there watching them dance, even though both dancers have made it clear that the conversation is over. 

 

Juyeon doesn’t know if he believes in fate, but it feels like he and Eric should know each other as more than passing acquaintances. They have multiple things in common: conversation flows easily, they both dance, they go to the same university… how could they not be friends? 

 

__________________

Eric Sohn. Sohn Youngjae.

 

That’s what Sunwoo said. Eric’s full name. 

 

Juyeon is lying in bed one night, bored and slightly horny. He wants to know more about Eric, and this is the only lead he has. 

 

He turns on his phone and ignores his phone background photo, a selfie with his mother. Just weeks before it happened. Their innocent smiling faces hurt to look at, but it’s a constant reminder for Juyeon not to take life for granted. 

 

He looks up Eric’s name on Instagram and gets immediate results. His social media account is open and available for everyone to see, so Juyeon walks right in. 

 

Eric’s Instagram is active, and he seems to post pretty consistently. Photos with friends, photos at concerts, photos at the beach, photos at the club, photos on vacation. He seems pretty confident in himself, he posts pictures of his shirtless body, and he gets a lot of likes on his posts. Eric is popular, it seems. 

 

Would it be weird to follow him? After all, he has thousands of followers, and it seems they have some mutual friends. Kevin, Hyunjae and Changmin are following him. Huh, he needs to try to bring Eric up in the most normal way possible next time he sees them. 

 

With the excuse of having mutual friends, Juyeon hits follow. 

 

And then he goes back to the post of Eric surfing in LA. Shit, he’s really fucking hot, Juyeon thinks. Tan and muscular with brown messy hair and pink shorts that are just a little too short and too tight to be accidental. The excess of skin on display is making Juyeon’s head spin, just seeing him in a tank top today was already a lot to handle.

 

Juyeon’s getting hard. He can’t help it. He sneaks a hand into his underwear and slowly starts to touch himself while staring at the photo of Eric sitting on a surfboard. Thick thighs, washboard abs, and toned arms. Fuck. 

 

He eventually switches over to gay porn when he needs a little bit more stimulation, and the bottom doesn’t look anything like Eric, too lanky, too pale. But Juyeon roughly fists his cock anyway, and it gets the job done. 

 

Afterwards, he sits there with cum on his fingers and Eric’s profile still up in another tab, and he notices he has a new notification: 

 

eric.is.youngjae has followed you back! 

 

__________________

One time is happenstance, a second time is coincidence, so a third time has to be fate… right?  

 

It has to be with the way Eric is currently in front of him, so absorbed in his game of beer pong at a mutual friend's house that he doesn’t even notice Juyeon standing and watching from the side. 

 

He’s so cute. The way he tries so hard but still fails. The way he laughs at his own clumsiness. The way he jumps up and down and shouts when he’s excited. Juyeon can’t help but be endeared by his charms. 

 

At one point, Eric glances to the side, and he makes eye contact with Juyeon, and his eyes light up with surprise. He’s happy to see Juyeon, he realizes, and it makes Juyeon’s heart race with excitement at the fact. 

 

“Juyeon-hyung!” Eric exclaims, leaving the table and rushing over to him. The game was pretty much over, Eric losing by a landslide, and many cups of alcohol were downed as a result. Juyeon knows that it will all be hitting him soon enough, but for now, Eric is coherent enough to make it over to Juyeon in one piece. “I didn’t know you would be here!”

 

“Yes, you did. I told you who I was bringing,” Kevin cuts in. He invited Juyeon and a few others to the party, and Juyeon didn’t know Eric would be here (he secretly hoped), but apparently Eric knew all along. 

 

“Okay. Maybe you mentioned a ‘Juyeon’, but that could be anyone! Who knows how many Juyeons you know, hyung!” Eric says, and he is definitely tipsy and on the way to getting drunk. His voice is way louder than it needs to be, and he’s gesturing wildly with his hands to defend himself. 

 

Kevin and Juyeon spare each other a glance and can only laugh at Eric’s antics. Kevin doesn’t seem to be surprised by his behaviour, so this must be normal. 

 

“Uh huh. Gotcha, I’m going to go get a drink, and I’ll leave the two of you to catch up then,” Kevin says, and he ruffles Eric’s hair as he passes by, causing Eric to push the retreating figure in the shoulder in retaliation. 

 

“Asshole,” Eric grumbles as he tames his hair back into place, but once he looks up and sees Juyeon still there, he beams. “I’m so happy you’re here, Juyeon-hyung!” 

 

“You are?” Juyeon asks because he truly had no idea Eric thought about him unless in passing. Yes, they follow each other on Instagram now, but neither of them made any further contact. The number of times Juyeon opened Eric’s direct messages and typed out a greeting only to delete it before hitting send… 

 

Eric looks shocked. “Of course! My super talented and handsome hyung is here, and he’s hanging out with me!” 

 

And now, Juyeon knows Eric is drunk and is probably exaggerating his true feelings, but it still excites Juyeon to know that this hasn’t been so one-sided after all. 

 

Also, Eric called him handsome. So there’s that. 

 

Before Juyeon can even get a word in, Eric continues, “Have you had a drink yet? I brought some alcohol. Let’s get you something! Let’s do shots together, hyung!” 

 

Juyeon can only shake his head in a ‘no’ before Eric takes him by the hand and leads him to the kitchen. In truth, Juyeon barely pre-drank; he had a beer while getting ready, and that was it. So a drink is welcome if he’s going to be around Eric’s energetic demeanour all night. 

 

Kevin is still in the kitchen when they arrive, and Eric excitedly announces that they are going to be doing shots together. Eric holds up two bottles and faces them toward Juyeon.

 

“Vodka or tequila?” he asks, a very serious look on his face. 

 

Neither. “Vodka,” Juyeon says. 

 

“Nice choice,” Eric replies, before pouring out two shots from them. The second glass gets over-poured, and vodka spills out onto the counter. 

 

“Oops,” Eric says with a giggle and passes the glass that wasn’t spilled to Juyeon. 

 

“Do a couple shot!” Kevin shouts from behind them, and Juyeon’s ears burn with embarrassment, but Eric is nodding eagerly, so they intertwine arms and pour the shot glasses into each other’s mouths. Juyeon easily succeeds as Eric is shorter, and it’s easier to pour downwards, but Eric struggles a little more, and only half the shot ends up in Juyeon's mouth, even with him bending down. 

 

They both cough as a result of the liquid and because of their failed couple shot. Kevin laughs at them, and Juyeon wipes away the dribble of vodka that trails down his chin. Eric’s eyes watch the drip, and maybe it’s just a coincidence, but Eric licks his lips at the movement. 

 

The moment is interrupted when Kevin claps them on the shoulders and gets them to follow him into the living room, where everyone has gathered. Most people are just sitting around chatting; it’s not really a ‘party’ and more of an excuse to drink and smoke with other like-minded individuals. 

 

Nobody pays attention to them when they enter the room, but Juyeon still freezes as he tries to decide where to sit. He doesn’t know very many people, and he’s not sure he’s in the mood to make small talk tonight. Thankfully, Eric saves him the decision and takes him by the hand again and drags him over to a spot on the couch. 

 

There is barely room for one person, let alone two, but Eric tells the person next to them to scooch over and pulls Juyeon down onto the couch. Juyeon sinks into the corner of the plush couch that has been used well beyond its years. The springs are toast, and there is no bounce back as he and Eric fall into the cushion with Eric borderline in his lap. 

 

“Sorry. Not a lot of room.” Eric apologizes, and it’s the first time he’s sounded even moderately aware of Juyeon’s personal space. 

 

“It’s okay,” Juyeon says, and he puts his arm along the back of the couch so he and Eric aren’t uncomfortably sitting shoulder to shoulder, but with the way Eric falls into his side, it just looks like they are cuddling now. 

 

Luckily, Eric doesn’t seem to be bothered as he snuggles into Juyeon, head lying on his upper chest area. They get immersed in the conversation taking place, and Juyeon’s pulse is pounding, so when a joint gets passed around, he gladly takes it. He needs to fucking relax. 

 

Before he can bring the joint to his lips, it is getting snatched out of his fingers by Eric, who has a mischievous look on his face as he takes a drag himself. 

 

“Youngjae…” Juyeon scolds, only half-heartedly, as he gets distracted by watching the way Eric’s lips wrap around the joint. He knows he’s being obvious, especially with how close they are to one another, but he can’t bring himself to care. If Eric can drag him around by the hand and cuddle into his side, then Juyeon can look at his lips, no? 

 

Eric blows the smoke out of the corner of his mouth before he brings the joint up to Juyeon’s lips, his fingers a feather-light touch against his mouth to urge him on. 

 

“Your turn,” he whispers, and Juyeon wordlessly accepts the drug, eyes boring into Eric’s as he takes a drag himself. 

 

He holds it in for a moment before blowing it out, but he doesn’t angle it away and instead blows it straight towards Eric. The younger boy doesn’t shy away from it, and instead, he leans into Juyeon, hand on his upper thigh as he opens his mouth to accept it. 

 

Fuck. It’s sensual. It’s intimate, and Juyeon almost forgets that he’s in a room full of other people. He uses his free hand to stroke up Eric’s side, feeling him up from his waist to his upper back. The clothing is a barrier that Juyeon can’t wait to get rid of; he can’t wait to touch Eric’s bare, naked skin. 

 

The joint burns in Juyeon’s fingers as he stares at Eric, who looks back up at him with eyes that are just screaming fuck me. The room is hot with tension, and Juyeon wants him so badly. He can admit that now. He could admit that weeks ago, but it’s palpable now, and it seems Eric wants him too. 

 

“Stop fucking hogging it and get a room.” A voice interrupts them, and Eric jumps in Juyeon’s arms as they both look to see Hyunjae in front of them, snatching the burning joint out of Juyeon’s limp fingers. 

 

Juyeon lets it go because he would rather have Eric in his clutches than a drug he only smokes socially. 

 

Someone in the room proposes that they play Never Have I Ever, and Eric joins the chorus of those in agreement. Kevin hands Eric another beer for the game, and once the crown cap is popped off, he snuggles back into Juyeon’s side like this is something they’ve done before.

 

Juyeon leans down and whispers, his lips grazing the shell of Eric’s ear, “Don’t you think you’ve drank enough?” 

 

“No…” Eric says cheekily. He’s a bad liar. 

 

“How about you play and I drink, then?” Juyeon offers, and his hand is still touching Eric’s back, his fingertips light as feathers against him. 

 

Eric pouts, “But I want to learn more about you.” 

 

Juyeon rolls his eyes, “Fine. I’ll drink for both of us then.”

 

“Okay,” Eric says with a giggle, and he’s at the point of drunkenness where everything is funny. 

 

The game starts, and the questions are just as filthy as one would expect at a university house party where everyone is trying to impress everyone else with their sexual exploits. 

 

Eric has his hand on Juyeon’s chest, playing with the strings of his hoodie, twisting them around his fingers unconsciously as he listens to what people around the room are saying. Juyeon feels like he’s under a microscope like this, even without Eric paying attention to him. 

 

“Never have I ever hooked up with a girl,” Kevin declares when it’s his turn. 

 

Kevin is very openly gay, but it still shocks a few Never?!’s out of people. Juyeon takes a sip, and Eric is leaning in close again, and he probably thinks he’s whispering when he says, “Do you have to take two drinks if it’s both of us?”

 

“I think we’ll be okay,” Juyeon placates, because he doesn’t want to be completely drunk tonight. He has plans. 

 

The next person takes the hypothetical microphone and says, “Never have I ever had a threesome.” 

 

Juyeon’s bottle stays firmly in his grip until Eric tips it up and back so he can take a drink. He looks at Eric in the corner of his eye while he drinks, and Eric only shrugs, and at least he has the decency to look embarrassed, but now it’s all Juyeon can think about. 

 

Eric has had a threesome before. He is so curious to know who he did this with… two girls? Two guys? A girl and a guy? He chews on his lip as he thinks about the possibilities, the positions, the pleasure…

 

“—Juyeon hyung, it’s your turn.” Eric's voice cuts through his thoughts, and everyone is staring at him, waiting for him to take his turn. Shit. How much did he miss? 

 

“Never have I ever… uh… cheated on my partner.” Juyeon flounders. It’s the first thing he can think of, and belatedly, he realizes that he can use it as a test. 

 

Thankfully, Eric doesn’t make him drink, staying still at his side. Instead, Hyunjae from across the room takes a hesitant sip, and he gets booed until he stands up to defend himself with a: “It was complicated, okay!” 

 

Once everyone calms down, it’s Eric’s turn, and he pretends to think with a finger on his chin. 

 

“Never have I ever had sex on the first date,” he says, and Juyeon doesn’t know why he’s surprised. It’s not like he thinks Eric is promiscuous or anything… Maybe it’s just because Juyeon is taking a drink himself. 

 

“Oh, you slut,” Eric teases as Juyeon finishes the bottle. 

 

The game goes on, and Juyeon finishes off another bottle. He learns way too much about the people in the room but not nearly enough about Eric. He seems like an open book, but getting any sort of information out of him is like pulling teeth. 

 

Eventually, people start getting up to get some fresh air or use the bathroom, and Eric and Juyeon are some of the only people left in the room. 

 

“Now what do you want to do?” Juyeon asks, and he’s tipsy but still completely in control. Eric is warm against him, still stuck to his side even though the couch has opened up. 

 

“Well, I kind of want to go back to your place, but I don’t know if that's too soon,” Eric says, and he sounds so shy and cute about it that he could be offering to drive off a cliff together, and Juyeon would probably agree. 

 

“I thought you didn’t fuck on the first date,” Juyeon counters, because he can’t look too easy, no matter how much he wants Eric. 

 

“I don’t remember this being a first date?” Eric says with a smirk, “Plus, I didn’t say I never fuck on the first date… I just never found the right person to break the rule with.” 

 

Screw looking hard to get. Juyeon doesn’t need to hear anything else; he leans over and kisses Eric on the mouth. The smallest squeak escapes Eric’s mouth before he kisses Juyeon back. Their kisses are rough, and it just ends up as a messy tangle of lips, tongues and teeth between them. 

 

Juyeon’s hand stays steady around Eric’s waist, and Eric’s hand is stroking the fabric on the front of Juyeon’s hoodie, palm flat as he feels Juyeon up over his clothing. His hand travels downwards until he’s cupping Juyeon through his jeans, and Juyeon groans into Eric’s mouth. His hand softly massages him, and Juyeon wants to spread his knees further apart. He’s only half hard, but if Eric keeps touching him like that, he will be on the way to fully erect. 

 

“Youngjae,” Juyeon warns against his spit-slicked lips, and Eric only teasingly licks his lip in response. “There are people here,” Juyeon counters, and that just urges Eric on further; he climbs fully onto Juyeon’s lap at that, legs bracketing Juyeon’s hips as he sinks deeper into the couch cushions. 

 

“Don’t worry. I’ll hide your boner from them,” Eric says, and then they are kissing again. He grips Eric’s hips in his hands, and he can’t help but drag him against his lap. It’s so fucking hot, the way Eric arches his back into Juyeon’s space and grasps the back of his hair with his hands. 

 

The way Eric rolls his hips is making Juyeon feel lightheaded. He’s grinding down on his erection, and Juyeon wants to moan aloud; he wants to flip Eric onto the couch and hear how many noises he can drag out of him. 

 

Juyeon is understandably keyed up, so when he bites a little too hard on Eric’s bottom lip, he lets out a whimper, “Do you like putting on a show like this for everyone?” Juyeon asks because he is getting the idea that Eric likes the attention.

 

Eric nods his head, and they aren’t even kissing now, just breathing the same air and grinding into each other. 

 

“Yeah? Answer me.” Juyeon demands. He likes the control he has over Eric. 

 

“I do. I love the attention. I love people seeing us together.” Eric whines, fingers digging into the sides of Juyeon’s neck. He’s going to have marks from Eric’s nails in the morning. 

 

Juyeon doesn’t get to reply as there is a loud bang, and they both look to where the sound is coming from, and Kevin is standing behind Eric. From the looks of it, he clapped as loud as he could right next to their ears. “You may like this, but we do not. Hit the road if you’re going to fuck, nobody wants to see that.” 

 

Eric wipes his lips with the back of his hand, and he looks sheepish, “Sorry, hyung. Heat of the moment.” 

 

Kevin only rolls his eyes and walks away, so Eric looks back at Juyeon and shrugs with a giggle. “Guess we should listen to him.”

 

Juyeon nods, and Eric climbs off his lap. The next few moments are awkward as they try to conceal their erections without anyone noticing and make themselves look semi-presentable as they leave. Juyeon runs a hand through his hair and ignores the way his lips are tingling from the intensity of their kisses. Shy smiles are shared between them as this was just a precursor for the rest of the night. 

 

Juyeon takes the initiative and grabs Eric’s hand in his own and leads him towards the door. One of Eric’s friends calls out to him that he’s going to drink his alcohol if he’s leaving, and Eric calls back that he’s going to be getting laid, so he doesn’t care. Juyeon's ears burn red with embarrassment as there are some drunken whoops from the people around them, and he tugs on Eric’s hand until they are out the door. 

 

The cool air hits him in the face as they exit the house, and it feels like he’s snapped back into reality. Their hands are still clasped as they get onto the sidewalk, and Juyeon looks back to see the wind whipping in Eric’s hair and a cheesy grin on his face. His cheeks are rosy as he raises an eyebrow at Juyeon. 

 

“You okay, hyung?” He asks as they stop on the sidewalk. Music and voices can still be heard from outside the house, and Eric looks so beautiful staring up at him curiously, like a little puppy waiting for an idea of what to do next. 

 

“Yeah… yeah, are you?” Juyeon asks back. He felt tipsy and hazy with lust inside, but now he feels awake and alert again. 

 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” 

 

“Just making sure. You drank a lot tonight. We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.” 

 

“Oh, I want to. I’ve wanted to for a while now,” Eric remarks smiling, tugging Juyeon by the hand closer to him so they’re chest to chest. He then rises up on his toes and kisses Juyeon lightly on the mouth. 

 

“How long?” Juyeon asks against the plush of his lips. 

 

“Longer than you, probably.” 

 

Juyeon doubts that, but kisses him again anyway. They share a few more pecks on the side of the road until the breeze starts to chill their skin, and they break apart to schedule a ride to take them back to Juyeon’s apartment. 

 

It’s weird how comfortable they are around each other since they are practically strangers. The drive to Juyeon’s is quiet, but not awkward, as Eric cuddles into Juyeon’s side in the backseat. He holds Eric’s hand on his thigh and keeps his arm around his shoulders. 

 

The quiet murmur of their voices is barely heard over the driver’s radio as they recount the events of the night. Juyeon tells Eric that he wants to hear about the background to some of his answers during Never Have I Ever, and Eric tells him that he wants to hear about his answers too. Juyeon feels like his sexual experiences has been moderately normal, considering the questions that were asked, but promises Eric that he will.

 

They pinky promise in the back of the rideshare, and Eric laughs into his neck.

 

When they get to Juyeon’s place, there is an undercurrent of desire mixing in between them as they leisurely make out against his front door, but neither of them are too interested in speeding things up. They have all night, after all. 

 

Juyeon has Eric pressed against the door, and Eric’s hands are all over him; he’s grabbing onto his shoulders and slowly grinding against his leg. Juyeon lets him, sticking his thigh between Eric’s legs so he can rub himself against him easier. 

 

Eric is being entirely too quiet right now, and Juyeon wants to hear the noises that he was getting out of him earlier and reaches down to tug the fly on his jeans down and touches him over his underwear.

 

It does the trick, and Eric starts making soft whines into his mouth as Juyeon finally gets his hand on him. 

 

“Feel good, Youngjae?” he asks, and Eric is nodding eagerly.

 

“Yes,” he pants, “Your hands feel so good.” 

 

Eric is holding Juyeon impossibly close to him, their bodies melding together with their body heat, and he fucks into Juyeon’s fist when he slides his hand inside his underwear and grips his cock. 

 

Juyeon leans his head down and breathes into the side of Eric’s neck. He’s obsessed with his smell. Whatever perfume or cologne he’s sprayed himself with tonight is addictive, and Juyeon roughly kisses against his throat, scraping his teeth along his skin. 

 

“Juyeon-hyung, please… More.” Eric begs against him, arms wrapping around his neck as his knees start to tremble from the stimulation. 

 

“I'm touching you, baby,” Juyeon breathes as he jerks him off, hand tight around Eric’s cock. He feels small in Juyeon’s hands, so unlike his own cock, and it’s igniting something wild within him. Everything about Eric is small compared to Juyeon. His height, his waist, his hands, his cock. He wants to find out what else is small; he wants to spread Eric out naked on his bed and explore his entire body. 

 

Eric’s moans are getting louder, sharper, and Juyeon feels that he could be at risk of coming soon, so he stops. He removes his hand from Eric’s underwear, and the younger boy groans at  Juyeon halting suddenly. 

 

“Hyung…?”

 

“I want to take you to my bed. I don’t want to fuck you against the door. Not yet, anyway.” 

 

“Fuck. Yes. Okay.” 

 

They separate enough to walk down the hall, and Eric takes Juyeon’s hand in his. He leads Juyeon to his bedroom like he owns the place, and Juyeon can only stumble after him. 

 

When they enter the bedroom, Juyeon rushes over to his nightstand to turn on the lamp and the room is bathed in soft yellow light. Juyeon looks back over to Eric, and he can see the younger boy looking around the room and taking it in. There is not much to see; it’s your average apartment bedroom that belongs to a university student. A desk, some books, some clothes on the floor, some posters and family photos. 

 

“Take that off,” Juyeon demands, motioning to Eric’s shirt as he sits on the edge of his bed and waits. 

 

Eric suddenly looks shy, as if he hasn’t been making moves on Juyeon all night, but he nods and drags his shirt up and off his body. His shirt drops to the ground, and seeing Eric in this light is something else. He is so toned, and his skin looks soft. Juyeon can’t wait to get his hands on him. 

 

He leans back on his hands as he watches Eric continue to undress. His fingers are shaking as he takes his pants off. Eric is nervous. Juyeon wants to eat him alive. 

 

“So pretty,” Juyeon comments when Eric is left in nothing but his black briefs that are clinging to his small hips. 

 

“Yeah?” Eric asks as he approaches Juyeon at his spot on the bed. 

 

“Yeah. C’mere,” Juyeon says, patting his leg so Eric will climb on his lap. 

 

Eric is a good listener as he does just that, hiking a knee over Juyeon’s thighs so he can plant himself on Juyeon’s lap. He settles himself, and his hands play with the strands of hair on Juyeon’s neck. 

 

“What did you want to do?” Juyeon asks. He doesn’t know what Eric was expecting to happen tonight, and he doesn’t want to assume. Even though Juyeon really wants to fuck Eric. 

 

“I want to do what you want to do,” Eric answers cryptically as he wriggles around on Juyeon’s lap. Juyeon isn’t sure if he’s rubbing himself against Juyeon’s erection on purpose or not. Knowing what he does about Eric, it’s probably on purpose.

 

“Eric…” Juyeon groans, “I want to fuck you… But we don’t have to do that.” 

 

Eric is nodding before Juyeon even finishes his sentence, “I really, really want that too, hyung.” 

 

“Yeah? Okay, we can do that then,” Juyeon says, and he’s so excited. He’s so excited that he takes Eric’s waist in his hands and flips him onto the bed. 

 

As he kneels over Eric’s prone body, he takes off his pants and digs around in his pocket to take out his wallet, where he has a condom waiting for him to use. Next, he finds a bottle of lubricant in his drawers and by the time he is back over Eric, he has taken off his underwear, and he is completely bare for Juyeon. 

 

Eric is not a big person, but there is just so much skin for Juyeon to look at. He feels frozen as he stares at Eric’s body. He is absolutely stunning, which he tells him, causing Eric to blush a dark shade of pink. 

 

“Kiss me, please,” Eric begs, and Juyeon bends down to kiss him, covering his body with his own as they kiss. The younger one starts to drag Juyeon’s shirt up his body to take it off. Juyeon helps him once the shirt reaches his armpits and tosses it out of the way. 

 

Just kissing Eric is turning him on beyond belief, and Juyeon can feel a wet spot forming as his hard cock drags against the fabric of his underwear. 

 

Eric reaches between their bodies and lightly squeezes Juyeon’s cock in his hand, which makes Juyeon keen into his neck, moaning out the younger’s name. 

 

“You smell so fucking good,” Juyeon mumbles against his throat as his nose drags against the skin, “I can’t wait to be inside you.” He’s burning up just at the thought of shoving his dripping cock into Eric. He’s wanted this for a while, after all. 

 

“I wanted to suck you off, but I guess that can wait until later,” Eric breathes as Juyeon litters his neck with rough kisses, so engrossed in touching as much of his body as he can. His legs open on either side of Juyeon’s body, letting him in. 

 

Juyeon groans. Fuck, he wants that too. Almost too much. “You are so tempting. I wish we had done this forever ago.” 

 

“Yeah? Right on the basketball court? In the dance studio? You're a pervert, hyung.” Eric laughs, but then gasps as Juyeon leaves a hard bite on the flesh that connects his shoulder and throat. He hopes he leaves a mark. 

 

Juyeon travels back up to his lips and leaves a faint kiss, “I think you would like that too. You’re the one into exhibitionism.” 

 

Eric kisses back as Juyeon’s hand drifts down Eric’s body, “You got me. Red-handed.” 

 

Juyeon’s finger prods Eric’s hole only to find that it has been loosened. He breaks the kiss to question it, but Eric beats him to it, “I wasn’t expecting to get laid tonight, if that’s what you were thinking. I was just touching myself before the party, looking at your photos.” 

 

He says it so innocently that his tone doesn’t match his words. Just the thought of Eric at home in bed looking at photo’s of Juyeon and fucking his fingers into his tight hole is driving Juyeon absolutely crazy. 

 

“Fuck, Youngjae. You can’t just say that,” Juyeon groans, holding himself on his forearms over Eric’s form. 

 

“Why? It’s the truth,” Eric replies, eyes half lidded and sensual as he wraps his arms around Juyeon’s shoulders. He drifts from shy to confident so easily that Juyeon can’t keep up. 

 

He needs to get inside Eric yesterday, so he grabs the lubricant bottle and coats his fingers in the substance before his fingers are prodding at his hole again. He pushes one in easily, and Eric takes it well, relaxed on his back, hair fanned out on Juyeon’s pillows, and Juyeon is positively in love. 

 

Juyeon adds another finger soon after, his fingers scissoring inside Eric as he opens him up even more. 

 

“Your fingers… Fuck, they’re so big. So much bigger than mine,” Eric whines as he strokes his own cock and watches Juyeon fingering him. 

 

The praise goes to Juyeon’s own member, and he’s borderline vibrating with how badly he wants to fuck Eric. 

 

“Yeah? Just wait until my cock is in you, baby.” The pet name slips out, and Juyeon isn’t sure if Eric will like it, but if the whimper he lets out is anything to go by, then Juyeon thinks it’s okay. 

 

“I want it now,” Eric pleads as he pushes his hips down onto Juyeon’s fingers, trying to get them deeper inside him. 

 

“Okay, be patient, Youngjae,” Juyeon says, removing his fingers and grabbing for his condom and the bottle of lube again.

 

He rolls the condom onto his aching cock and then covers it in a layer of lubricant. Juyeon can feel Eric’s eyes on him and looks up to see Eric pushed up on his elbows, staring directly at his cock. 

 

“You’re as big as I imagined,” he mumbles, eyes glassy with desire as he licks his lips. 

 

Juyeon strokes his cock so it’s evenly coated with lube. “I’m happy I’m living up to your expectations then.” 

 

“Even better, I think, but I won’t know for sure until you’re inside me,” Eric teases as he suddenly turns onto his stomach and raises himself onto his hands and knees, presenting himself for Juyeon to take. 

 

“Fuck…” Juyeon groans as Eric shakes his little ass in his face, just begging for Juyeon to shove his cock into him. 

 

He shuffles over on his knees to Eric’s waiting body and grips his hips with his fingers, soothing over his back and ass with his hands. He just appreciates Eric for a moment. He has all sorts of little tattoos scattered all over his body, and he touches the tattoo on Eric’s back. They all seem to have a story, and Juyeon can’t wait to find out. 

 

He stretches his hole out and watches as it puckers around nothing. He is so mesmerizing. Juyeon could stare at Eric’s body all night. “Hyung… Please,” Eric begs, and how is Juyeon to deny him when he pleads so nicely? 

 

Juyeon wastes no more time as he takes his cock and lines it up with Eric’s opening, slowly pushing it past the ring of muscle until his head is in. 

 

Eric collapses onto his forearms and lets out a moan. “Keep going,” he says weakly. 

 

Juyeons holds his waist as he continues to push in until he’s flush with Eric’s hips. 

 

“Are you okay?” Juyeon asks, and his cock is twitching from the tightness of Eric’s warmth. All he wants to do is pull back to slam himself back in deep. The back of his neck is breaking out in a cold sweat as he waits for Eric to get used to the feeling of Juyeon inside him. 

 

“Yeah… Yeah, holy shit, you’re big. You’re filling me up so well, hyung.” Eric whines as his fingers twist into the bedsheets. It’s all going to Juyeon’s head that Eric is pleased with him. He’s going to blow his mind tonight.  

 

“Can I move?” Juyeon asks, voice tight with restraint. 

 

“In a second.” 

 

Juyeon nods and counts to ten to center himself. “Can I now?” 

 

A hysterical giggle bubbles out of Eric, “Yeah, hyung. Fuck me now, please.” 

 

Juyeon doesn’t need to hear anything else and drags his cock back only to push it in deep again. They both groan in unison at the feeling of Juyeon’s cock stretching him out from the inside. Eric feels fucking divine. This is exactly what Juyeon had been craving. 

 

He starts slow but builds momentum from there, using Eric’s small frame to pull him onto his cock over and over again. 

 

“Oh, my god,” Eric moans as Juyeon fucks him, nearly unintelligible over the sound of Juyeon’s hips smacking his ass. The feeling is divine. Eric is so perfect around him that he never wants to leave. 

 

“Faster, hyung, please,” Eric begs, and Juyeon nods, gripping Eric’s hips tightly, fingers digging into his flesh as he fucks him faster. If he’s holding him too tightly, fucking him too roughly, Eric doesn’t complain at all. He just makes little sounds of pleasure as Juyeon’s digits create a myriad of bruises against his porcelain skin. 

 

“You feel so good, Eric. You’re so hot,” Juyeon says as his hand drifts up his body until it is circling around Eric’s bicep and pulling him up and against Juyeon’s chest. 

 

Eric whines at the new angle, and when Juyeon thrusts in, Eric nearly yelps. “Ah—Right there. Oh my god, right there,” he sounds hysterical as he begs Juyeon to keep fucking him like this. 

 

Juyeon fondles his chest as the angle is perfect for it; he grips Eric’s pecs and plays with his nipples, rubbing his thumb over the nubs, and he’s just so obsessed with touching as much of his body that he humanly can before he comes. 

 

“Juyeon-hyung, you’re so deep,” Eric moans out, and he is so loud. He is driving Juyeon crazy, and he distracts himself by kissing and nibbling up Eric’s neck, leaving red marks in his wake. 

 

“Are you close?” Juyeon breathes as he tongues at Eric’s ear, and he can feel Eric shiver in his arms. He’s just so sensitive to everything Juyeon does to him. He loves how affected Eric is, how he unravels from every touch Juyeon lays on his body.

 

“Yeah. Touch me. Please,” Eric pleads as his cock flops uselessly in front of them, completely ignored as Juyeon fucks him from behind. That has to change. 

 

Juyeon pulls his cock out and lets go of Eric to change positions. Eric tries to lean back against his chest, so absorbed in his pleasure but Juyeon pushes him forward to fall down against the bed. 

 

“Hyung?” Eric blearily questions as Juyeon manhandles him over onto his back and moves between his legs. Juyeon hikes Eric’s thighs up around his waist and crowds close so Eric’s lower half is tilted upwards towards Juyeon. 

 

“I wanted to see your face when you come,” Juyeon states, panting lightly, as he takes his cock in hand and pushes it back into Eric. 

 

Seeing Eric in pleasure like this is even better than from behind; his eyelids flutter as one hand grabs for the bedsheets while the other one takes his length in hand. His chest heaves and glistens with sweat, and his face is red with embarrassment and Juyeon wishes he could take a photo with his eyes to remember this moment. 

 

Every thrust into Eric has him moaning out little words that Juyeon can’t make out. He looks so blissed out as the head of his cock leaks onto his fingers as Juyeon’s cock fills him up. 

 

Juyeon wants to touch Eric’s lower stomach and feel his length through the skin, just to know that he’s in that deep. Eric is so small, and Juyeon’s cock is so long, it’s corrupting his mind with every thrust. He won’t be able to look at Eric’s abdomen without thinking about how well he impales him. 

 

“Oh, fuck. Gonna come,” Eric groans, and he opens his eyes to look up at Juyeon right as Juyeon thrusts in deep and hits his prostate. In the next moment, Eric comes, loud and hard. His voice echoes off the walls of Juyeon’s apartment, and his ankles hook around Juyeon’s back to hold him close. He tenses up as he comes all over his hand and stomach, shooting his load in spurts, and all Juyeon can do is to continue to fuck him through it to chase his own high. 

 

“Fuck, Eric. You’re so tight. Squeezing my cock so well, fuck.” Juyeon’s voice is pitchy, and he doesn’t last much longer, using the last of his energy to haul Eric’s body on his cock as he shoves it in deep. 

 

Eric is whimpering at this point, oversensitive and tired from his orgasm, but he lets Juyeon ravage his body until he is sated. He is moaning out quiet little fuck me, fuck me’s to coax Juyeon into coming, and it works. He spills deep inside Eric into his condom and falls forward from the force of it, only stopping himself from squashing Eric by landing on his forearms above him.

 

They both catch their breath with big inhales and bigger exhales. Juyeon blinks his eyes open to see Eric looking back at him, sweaty and beautiful. His hands have found their way around Juyeon’s shoulders, and he holds him close, and Juyeon lets himself collapse into Eric's warm body. 

 

“That was so hot,” Eric comments after a moment of silence, and his voice is hoarse. 

 

“Yeah,” Juyeon agrees, and it’s all he can get out right now. Maybe it's just because Juyeon hasn’t been laid in awhile but that was mindblowing. 

 

He stays planted on Eric for a bit longer until he can’t handle the feeling of the come-filled condom on his soft cock. 

 

When he raises himself up he drags a hand through his bangs and pushes them off his forehead. Eric is still lying like an angel on his bed, mussed bleached hair on his pillow and naked creamy skin stark against his black sheets. He looks so cute and tired now. Eyes drifting open and closed as he watches Juyeon. 

 

“I’m gonna clean up now. I’ll bring you back a cloth?” Juyeon asks, he’s not quite sure what to do now that they are done. He’s not really one for one night stands. He is too much of a loverboy for that, he catches feelings too easily, and he’s realizing very quickly that Eric could break his heart if he wants to go their separate ways after this. 

 

Eric’s tone is sleepy when he answers, “How about we clean up together? You want to shower together?” 

 

“Can you even make it there? I don’t know if I can carry you right now.” Juyeon laughs. His arms feel like taffy after using so many of his muscles to fuck Eric. 

 

Eric giggles, “I might have to hold on to you to make it there.” 

 

“I might have to, too.” Juyeon jokes, and he helps Eric up and out of bed after he’s thrown out his condom. They stumble towards the bathroom, and Juyeon starts the shower. 

 

They both stand in Juyeon’s small bathroom, completely naked and silent as they wait for the water to heat up. It’s not entirely uncomfortable, as they are both tired and coated in bodily fluids and are ready to get clean. 

 

Once they get in, they both relax from the heat of the water spraying down over them. Eric huddles against Juyeon as the taller man blocks the showerhead with his entire body. 

 

“You’re hogging it,” Eric whines as he tries to twist them to the side so he can get some water on himself. 

 

“You get cranky when you're tired,” Juyeon says with a smirk, and Eric gives him a little slap on the chest for that. 

 

“Maybe if you kissed me, I wouldn’t be so cranky,” Eric mutters, albeit crankily, and Juyeon acquiesces easily, leaning down to take Eric’s lips in a sweet kiss. 

 

It makes the lack of water just a little more tolerable. 

__________________

They fall into each other after that night. Eric stays over after their shower, they go for another round the next morning and then he pretty much never leaves Juyeon’s side. 

 

It’s so easy. They exchange numbers, they start to hang out constantly, and soon enough, they are meeting up to get dinner, to study together, to see a local band that’s playing, or to have sex. Their friends comment on their closeness, but Juyeon can only shrug because he’s comfortable with how they are. 

 

Juyeon guesses you could say that they are dating; they don’t really put a label on it, but it’s obvious, as neither of them are seeing other people. Juyeon doesn’t know about Eric, but he doesn’t want to see other people. 

 

Eric is so perfect for Juyeon. He’s funny, witty, kind and outgoing. Eric makes Juyeon laugh constantly. He could point out something in public and make it the funniest thing ever. He challenges Juyeon in all the best ways possible; he makes Juyeon want to be curious. He makes him want to ask more, learn more. He also pisses Juyeon off. Just enough to push his buttons, though, never enough to actually make him mad. It’s like he knows how much Juyeon can take, how much to keep it light and teasing. Juyeon doesn’t mind anyway; their sex is always more electrifying when Juyeon gets to punish Eric for acting up. 

 

It’s scary how quickly Juyeon can feel himself falling for Eric. He’s never felt like this about anyone his entire life, and here comes Eric, just seemingly strolling into his world and stealing his heart. 

 

This is what Juyeon needed, though. He needed a distraction from his own head. His heart has felt so much pain in the past year that this feels like a breath of fresh air; he feels like he can finally breathe again. Eric is just so positive about everything that he makes Juyeon look for the good in the world again. Eric is good for him. 

 

Their schedules work great together, too; they go to university together before splitting up for the day to attend classes. They meet back up after and go to dinner together, go to dance class together, and hang out with friends together. They are always together, and it’s like having a best friend and a lover wrapped up into one. Juyeon has always wanted that. He’s always wanted a lover who has the same interests as him and is able to keep up with his busy schedule. 

 

Juyeon likes it like this, too. He wants to see Eric all the time; he misses him when he’s away for too long and can’t stop touching him when he’s near. Juyeon has never been one for PDA, but he loves showing off that Eric is his. He loves putting his arm around Eric’s shoulders when they are sitting in a booth at a restaurant with their friends or wrapping an arm around his waist when they walk down the street. He kisses him hello when they see each other and kisses him goodbye when they leave. 

 

Eventually, the thought of Eric being labelled as single is what pushes Juyeon to ask Eric out officially. They’ve been seeing each other for a month now, and he is starting to be able to read Eric pretty well, which is why it’s so cute that he can tell Eric has been waiting for this. Wide eyes and a nervous smile when Juyeon tells him that he wants to ask him something. Something important Juyeon says as he takes Eric’s hand in his own. 

 

It comes as no surprise to their friends when they announce their relationship, and being officially together brings them together even more. Eric starts staying at his place more frequently, keeping a toothbrush in his bathroom, and their clothing has become intermixed beyond repair. It’s a coin toss if he pulls out a piece of Eric’s clothing or his own from the clean laundry basket. 

 

That’s another thing. Eric is great around the house, he cleans up for the both of them, and it feels like they are living together. It feels like they are married. 

 

“My little wife,” Juyeon groans one night when he’s fucking Eric into the mattress. 

 

He came home late from working on a group project for one of his classes, and Eric was wearing a pair of shorts entirely too small and too tight for his form, a loose tank top showing off his arms, and his hair tied back in a stupid little ponytail. How was Juyeon not supposed to drop everything and ravage him on the spot? 

 

Which is how the words spilled out of his mouth without a filter. It drives him crazy that Eric was just puttering around cleaning up Juyeon’s house for him when he wasn’t home. Like a perfect little wife. 

 

Eric moans in return, nails scratching down Juyeon’s back as he holds him tightly. 

 

“Yeah, your wife. Am I good for you, oppa?” 

 

Juyeon collapses against Eric’s front and whines into his neck to muffle his sounds; he gets enough dirty looks from their neighbours as it is. It’s like Eric knows exactly what to say to get him going. He knows all of Juyeon’s kinks and preferences at this point and uses them to his advantage, not that Juyeon is complaining. 

 

“So, so good, my baby.” 

 

Neither of them lasts long. Juyeon comes inside Eric with a moan, and Eric follows soon after when Juyeon wraps a hand around Eric’s length, spilling over both their fingers. 

 

When they are both lying there and catching their breath, Eric rolls onto his side and looks at Juyeon, “If I’m to be your little wife, you’re gonna have to put a ring on it.” He smirks. 

 

Juyeon laughs out loud. But the thought of Eric with a ring on his finger to show every potential suitor that he’s taken isn’t that bad of an idea. His parents always wanted Juyeon to get married, anyway. 

__________________

“Juyeonie-hyung, could you come pick me up?” Eric’s shaky voice asks one evening when Juyeon is at home, waiting for the rice to cook in the rice cooker. He has his phone cradled between his shoulder and ear as he moves around the kitchen. 

 

“Of course baby, but didn’t you drive?” Juyeon says, and he’s confused because Eric drove to dance practice tonight. Juyeon’s ballet practice was cancelled, so Eric went alone today. 

 

“Yeah but… There’s an issue with my car.” Eric utters hesitantly, and Juyeon immediately stops what he’s doing. 

 

“What happened?” 

 

“My tires… S-someone slashed my tires. I think.” Eric stutters, and Juyeon is already turning off the rice cooker and grabbing his keys to leave. 

 

“What? Are you okay? Where are you right now?” 

 

“Hyung, I’m okay. I just got out of class and my tires are flat,” Eric says, and Juyeon can tell he’s trying to keep him calm, to not freak him out. But the worry in his voice is obvious. 

 

“Okay. Stay inside, I’m on my way.” 

 

When Juyeon arrives, Eric’s eyes are glassy as he runs into his arms. Juyeon holds him tight, and he feels like he’s missing something.

 

They go out to Eric’s car, and the tires are slashed. Intentional and obvious to the eye. Who the hell would do this to Eric? Lovely, kindhearted Eric, who wouldn’t hurt a fly? 

 

“We need to call the police and report this. Maybe the studio has video surveillance?” Juyeon declares, and Eric nods, numbly, as he stares at the remnants of his tires. 

 

They do call the police and report the incident, and the studio does have video surveillance, but Eric’s vehicle was parked in a blind spot, and it doesn’t catch who slashed his tires. All the people in the video are dancers at the studio, and everyone has an alibi. 

 

It makes no sense, and Juyeon can’t wrap his head around it. The police report goes cold after that, no evidence left at the scene and no footage for any leads. Eric ends up selling his vehicle because he and Juyeon only need one vehicle when their schedules are so similar and they do everything together, anyway. 

 

Life starts to go back to normal after that, and Juyeon doesn’t let Eric go to practice by himself anymore. 

 

Eric confesses that he has a suspect one night. They are lying in bed with Eric’s head on Juyeon’s chest, and he is distractedly stroking a hand over Juyeon’s chest as he tells him about his ex-boyfriend. 

 

Hyunjae. 

 

Juyeon’s friend and Eric’s ex. He had no idea. Apparently, it didn’t last long, but it was a messy breakup, and Hyunjae has floated the idea of them getting back together multiple times. Even when he had started dating Juyeon.

 

This infuriates Juyeon. How could Hyunjae do that to him? He’s known Hyunjae for years, only for him to talk to his boyfriend behind his back and now slash Eric’s tires? What is this, a form of intimidation? 

 

“I don’t know for sure, though!” Eric notes, leaning up and forcing his hand against Juyeon’s chest to push him back down into the bed. “We can’t tell the police. It’s just a guess.” 

 

“Eric, he committed a crime! He’s harassing you!” Juyeon is flabbergasted that Eric would want to let this go. He’s been worried sick about Eric getting attacked next instead of his vehicle. 

 

“He’s just jealous,” Eric mumbles, and Juyeon scoffs. 

 

“Most people who are jealous don’t do that.” 

 

“I don’t want to make this into a big deal, okay? I just want to move on. He’ll get bored when I don’t engage. This is just how he is. He’s a reactionary, he always has been,” Eric explains, and Juyeon really doesn’t agree, but it’s Eric’s choice. The crime was committed against him. 

 

“We are never hanging out with him again. I don’t even know what I would do if I were in the same room as him,” Juyeon asserts. He’s fuming, and he can’t help but snake an overprotective hand around Eric to keep him close. 

 

“You’re so sexy when you’re possessive like this, hyung,” Eric replies, and he leans in to lightly kiss Juyeon. It brings him back down to Earth significantly, and he kisses him back.

 

“I’m possessive about the things important to me.” 

 

“Ooh, objectify me more, that’s hot,” Eric says, playfully biting the tip of his nose. 

 

Juyeon pinches his side in retaliation, “You know I didn’t mean it that way.” 

 

“My feelings are hurt, Juyeonie-hyung. Make it up to me,” Eric pouts, sarcasm dripping off his words. 

 

Juyeon does, because he can’t resist his baby. He makes it up to him well into the night. 

__________________

It sucks to see his friends less, but Juyeon would rather be around Eric than risk a single run-in with Hyunjae. He gets asked a couple of times why he stopped coming out to social gatherings, and Juyeon, being the ever loyal boyfriend he is, respects Eric’s wishes and doesn’t tell them the exact reason, just says that they aren’t on good terms with someone in the friend group. Kevin tries to pry to get more information, but Juyeon stonewalls him, even though he’s pretty sure Kevin knows who he’s talking about anyway. 

 

Juyeon and Eric get more time together now. They go on more dates, and they have more sex. Eric gets introduced to Juyeon’s family, and they love him, just like Juyeon knew they would. His father immediately sees Eric as another son and gushes over how sweet Eric is. It’s easier to be around his father with Eric there; he is like a barrier to all of the past heartbreak and pain that exists in the house. It’s harder to feel sad when looking at the photos of his mother scattered around the halls. 

 

His brother and Eric go off to the corner store one night, leaving Juyeon with his dad, and he realizes that this is the longest he and Eric have been apart in months aside from classes and dance practice. It’s nice to see his brother and Eric immediately hit it off. His brother is enlisting soon, so it’s great to see him so carefree and relaxed with his boyfriend. 

 

Juyeon quickly comes to realize he misses Eric, even though his boyfriend only left twenty minutes ago. Ever since the tire-slashing situation, he has felt extremely overprotective of him. He has debated asking Eric to download a tracking app so Juyeon can know where he is at all times, but that would be crazy, right?

 

For now though, he knows how much Eric likes attention and knows he will appreciate the gesture of Juyeon reaching out to him, so he pulls out his phone to text him. 

 

JUYEON: have you finished buying the snacks yet, baby?

 

It’s only seconds later when Eric responds.

 

YOUNGJAE: yes :) on our way back now hyungie~ 

 

Juyeon nods at his phone. Good. He wants Youngjae back in his sight again. 

 

His phone buzzes again when he doesn’t reply quickly enough.

 

YOUNGJAE: why? do you miss me? ;) 

 

Juyeon must have a goofy grin on his face because he hears laughter and his father is looking at him amusedly, “You two are attached at the hip, aren’t you. Can’t even go half an hour without him?” 

 

He can feel his ears burn in embarrassment. “That’s not it. He just said something funny,” Juyeon lies, because they can go an extended amount of time without seeing each other. They just choose not to. 

 

His father grins, and he looks fond, “Sounds like how your mother and I were.” 

 

Juyeon doesn’t know what to say. His parents are such a beacon of romance for him. So to hear that he and Eric are comparable is… everything. He focuses back on his phone.

 

JUYEON: i do. but i also feel like we haven’t been alone in so long. :(

 

The long weekend at Juyeon’s father’s house has felt like years since they are used to practically living together. He can’t even remember the last time they had sex (it was the night before they left). 

 

YOUNGJAE: i miss you too :( i miss your hands on me… i miss getting my mouth on you

 

Okay. This is going into some dangerous territory when Juyeon is sitting across from his father in their living room. 

 

JUYEON: baby… 

 

YOUNGJAE: what? :) 

 

Eric, that little minx. Always playing dumb when it comes to riling up Juyeon. He’s got it down to an art form. 

 

Juyeon’s point is only proven further that night when Eric is horny and rubbing himself against Juyeon’s thigh while they are in bed and getting ready to sleep. He pretends not to know what he’s doing… just trying to entice Juyeon into fucking him.

 

Which he does, to be fair. Hand over Eric’s mouth as he thrusts into him because he’s always so fucking loud. Juyeon fucks him slowly so the bed doesn’t hit the wall that connects with his parents' room. He learned that the hard way when he was a teenager. 

 

Eric looks back at Juyeon with those big fucked out eyes of his, clenching hard around his cock and nails dragging down his back, and Juyeon comes deep inside him. He muffles his moan into Eric’s shoulder and holds his hips down against him so hard that he bruises the skin. 

 

It’s the next morning when Eric is in the shower and Juyeon is lounging on the bed when he gets an Instagram notification. Hyunjae sent him a message. 

 

He’s not blocked or anything, but it still shocks Juyeon. They haven’t talked in months. Not since Eric told him about their history. He wants to immediately delete the message and then tell Eric, but he’s also curious why Hyunjae would be reaching out to him and not Eric in the first place. 

 

The message is in his requests, so he’s able to view it without the read receipt being enabled. 

 

HYUNJAE: Hey Juyeon, I just heard about why you and Eric haven’t been coming to group hangouts and I don’t know what Eric told you but I haven’t done shit to him. We used to hook up last year but that was it. We never even officially dated and then he suggested ending things and it was never serious for me so we did. I just want to clear this up because I think you’re a cool guy. I don’t know why Eric would lie and he’s blocked me everywhere so I can’t reach out to him. Feel free to ignore this if you want but I wanted to tell my side of the story. 

 

What the fuck? Why is Hyunjae trying to lie about Eric to his face like this? What could he possibly get out of this? Eric told him that it was a bad breakup, did he not? But now Hyunjae is saying it was a mutual breakup… and not even a breakup in the first place. 

 

He exits the app without responding or deleting the message, and when Eric comes out of the shower, he doesn’t bring it up to him. His mind is racing as Eric wanders around the room getting dressed for the day, humming a tune to himself as he goes. Juyeon watches him silently. He trusts Eric; he loves Eric. 

 

Hyunjae is just a jealous ex trying to get him back by any means necessary. Juyeon should ignore the message; there is no credence to his words, and Eric has no reason to lie to him. 

 

Juyeon pulls his phone back out and deletes the message from his message requests, and then blocks Hyunjae. 

 

“What are you doing, hyung?” Eric asks, fully dressed and smelling clean from the shower. 

 

“Nothing. Just on Instagram,” Juyeon responds, putting his phone down and giving his boyfriend a small smile. Lying to Eric feels like betrayal but it’s for his own benefit, he’s protecting Eric. At least that's what he tells himself. 

 

Eric smiles back and sits on his lap, looping his arms around his neck. “Do you love me?” he asks.

 

Juyeon is taken aback by the question but nods nonetheless, wrapping his arms around Eric’s waist, “Of course, baby.” 

 

“Say it,” Eric says with a pout on his lips. As high maintenance as ever.

 

“I love you, Youngjae,” Juyeon replies easily, and he means it with his whole heart. 

 

“I love you too, Juyeonie-hyung,” he beams and kisses him softly. 

 

“What’s this all about?”

“I just like hearing you say those words.” He snuggles closer. 

 

Juyeon strokes his clothed back, “Good thing I like saying them then.”

__________________

Classes are coming to an end when Eric gets a voicemail from an anonymous number in the middle of the night. It’s a threatening call, saying that he knows where Eric lives, where he goes to school, and where he dances at. He says that if Eric doesn’t watch himself, then he’ll do something they both don’t want him to do. The caller doesn’t say specifics, but it’s a terrifying call nonetheless. 

 

Juyeon’s mind immediately goes to Hyunjae. It’s the only reasonable explanation, and he’s so fucking angry. Eric is shaking and crying uncontrollably, clinging to Juyeon as he sobs and tries to stutter out words. 

 

They have to go to the police, but Eric is hesitant. Juyeon tells him that this isn’t stopping, and maybe the threat of the law will get him to leave him alone. They play the voicemail to the police officer, and the caller is using a voice changer to alter his voice and has his number blocked, so it comes up as anonymous. 

 

When the officer asks if they have any idea who it could be, Eric hesitantly tells the officer Lee Hyunjae. Juyeon is proud of him, and afterwards they go out for a treat. They hold hands over the table, and Juyeon tells Eric that he thinks he should move in with him for his safety. 

 

Of course, Juyeon’s only reason isn’t just for safety, as he wants Eric with him permanently, and not to mention Eric pretty much lives at his place anyway. 

 

Eric’s eyes are bloodshot from crying, but he gives Juyeon a watery smile. 

 

“Okay.” 

 

__________________

The year inches into summer, and it grants a small and temporary break from the stress and bustle of their university careers. Juyeon has a summer job while Eric lounges around in the sun all day. 

 

They live together now, and it’s great. They share their location with each other so they always know where the other person is. They cook for each other, they shop together, they sleep together, they hang out together. Eric cleans more than Juyeon, but he swears that he enjoys it, so Juyeon lets it be. 

 

Eric seems to come from wealth, as he is never concerned about money; he is happy to pay as much rent as needed. Sometimes he pays even more than Juyeon. He doesn’t talk about his family much. Juyeon thinks that he doesn’t have a good relationship with them, even though he still somehow has a steady income. 

 

They seem like an off-limits conversation topic, and Juyeon doesn’t blame him, considering that he rarely speaks about his mother. 

 

But today is different. 

 

Juyeon wants to open up and tell Eric about her. He trusts him and wants him to know everything about him. 

 

They are getting ready for bed together. Juyeon has a book in his hands, but he’s not absorbing any of the words, so he puts it to the side.

 

“Baby?” he calls.

 

“Yeah?” Eric answers from the bathroom. His head peaks out, and he is rubbing cream into his cheeks with a fluffy headband on. He’s so cute, Juyeon will never get over it.

 

“I want to talk with you about something when you’re done.” 

 

Eric’s face falls. “Did I do something wrong?” 

 

“What? No!” Juyeon says, sitting up and realizing how his words sound. “It’s just something personal about me. You’re perfect.”

 

“Oh. Okay.” Eric smiles and goes back into the bathroom. Juyeon can hear the sink running, and soon enough, Eric appears again. His freshly washed hair is fluffy as it dries, and his face glistens with moisturizer. 

 

Eric dives into the bed next to Juyeon and flips the covers over top of them both. He snuggles in and lays his head on Juyeon’s chest, “What’s up, hyungie?” 

 

Juyeon cranes an arm around Eric and strokes a hand down his back as he thinks about how to start. 

 

“It’s about my mom.”

 

Eric is quiet, “Okay.” 

 

“She passed away last year… I’ve been wanting to tell you about her for a while. I just couldn’t find the words, though. I wasn’t trying to hide it.” Juyeon begins after a deep breath. 

 

“I thought so, but I didn’t want to pry. I’m so sorry, Juyeon,” Eric whispers as he nuzzles into Juyeon, leaving a soft kiss against his clothed chest. 

 

“How did you know?” Juyeon asks.

 

Eric hums, “Well, you never talked about her, and it’s just your dad. Originally, I thought maybe you just had a bad relationship, but there are so many photos of her in your dad’s house. Just assumed, I guess.” 

 

Juyeon nods as he takes in Eric’s words. He knew but didn’t want to say anything. He didn’t want to force Juyeon to talk about her. He’s so lovely. 

 

“Can I tell you about her?” 

 

“I would love to hear about her. She must’ve been amazing, she made the most perfect son, after all,” Eric says, and it brings a smile to Juyeon’s face and forces a chuckle out of his mouth when he’s been wound tight with nerves about this conversation. 

 

Juyeon tells Eric about his mother, it’s disjointed and messy, as he didn’t plan this far ahead. He tells Eric about whatever comes to his mind, and Eric stays planted on his chest like a weighted blanket, keeping him grounded.  

 

He cries at one point because telling Eric about how she died was never going to be easy. It makes Eric cry too, because he gets emotional when he sees other people cry. 

 

He feels so loved by Eric, and by the end, he’s so happy that he told him. It feels like a load has been lifted off his shoulders. Eric is the best thing to happen to him; he couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend. Eric protects Juyeon, and Juyeon protects Eric. It’s a perfect balance. 

 

Juyeon wants to be with Eric forever. 

__________________

The months after are hard for both of them. They essentially lose their friend group, Hyunjae ends up getting questioned by the police, and the rest of them believe in his innocence and essentially blacklist Juyeon and Eric for doing that to him. 

 

A couple of their friends reached out to ask why they thought Hyunjae was the culprit, and then didn’t believe them when they were told the reasoning. Eric handled most of these conversations, as he was the one primarily impacted. Juyeon overheard Kevin telling Eric that he’s wrong and that it wasn’t like that, which just offended Juyeon, as Kevin wasn’t the one in a relationship with Hyunjae, so how would he know! 

 

The police report goes nowhere again; there isn’t enough evidence to formally charge Hyunjae, nor can they get a warrant to check his phone. Eric doesn’t receive any more phone calls on the plus side, though. 

 

Eric luckily still has Sunwoo, as he was never really a part of the friend group. They still attend their dance classes, and when university starts up again in the fall, they go to school together. 

 

“Guess we’ll have to make new friends then, huh?” Juyeon says one day, when they are cuddling on the couch watching television. 

 

Eric hums in thought, “We don’t really need other people when we have each other.” 

 

Juyeon knows that Eric is hurt and traumatized from what happened with Hyunjae. He knows that he struggles to trust new people after how their so-called ‘friends’ dumped him after they took Eric’s abuser's side. But… Juyeon misses going out on the weekends, he misses drinking with friends and getting dinner after classes. He does all of these things with Eric, but he misses the group experience. 

 

He shakes his head. It’s fine. If he has Eric, then none of that matters. Eric is right, he doesn’t need other people if they have each other. He only wants Eric anyway; Eric is perfect for him. It’s like he was created just for Juyeon. The thought of losing Eric makes his stomach turn with nausea and his heart ache. 

 

There would be no point without Eric. 

__________________

Eric is out today. He had taken Sunwoo with him, so Juyeon felt a little better about letting him out of his sight, even though he did check his location constantly. Eric said it was a surprise, so all Juyeon glimpsed is that he is downtown currently. 

 

The apartment is quiet as Juyeon finds Eric’s laptop in their shared room, plugged in and charging. He unplugs the device and sits on the bed with the laptop in his lap, and opens the lid. The laptop prompts him for the password, and Juyeon hums as he thinks of what it could be. 

 

They don’t go on each other’s laptops as there is really no reason to, but their six-month anniversary is coming up, and Juyeon wants to make something sweet for his boyfriend. He knows how many photos Eric takes at any given time, so there should be a gold mine of photos on his laptop that Juyeon could use. 

 

iloveleejuyeon, Juyeon tries with a smirk. Incorrect password, try again. Well then. 

 

princesohn, he tries. Incorrect password, try again. 

 

10april2020, the day Juyeon officially asked Eric to be his boyfriend. 

 

The screen changes, and he’s on Eric’s desktop. Correct. 

 

His stomach swoops with how cute Eric is, how sweet it is that he made his password their anniversary date. It makes Juyeon realize how compatible they are; Juyeon is only hacking onto Eric’s laptop to do something for their anniversary, after all. 

 

He’s grinning to himself as he takes in Eric’s desktop background, a photo that they had a stranger take of them looking out on the pier as the sun set in front of them. You can only see their dark silhouettes, but Juyeon’s arm around Eric’s waist and Eric leaning his head against Juyeon’s shoulder is obvious. He loves this photo, and it’s obvious Eric loves it too. 

 

Juyeon navigates to the file explorer and starts looking for where Eric keeps his photos. His boyfriend mainly uses the laptop for school, and Juyeon has to sort through Ebooks, PDFs, worksheets, essays and notes. Eric is very organized, so it isn’t too difficult to find his albums of photos. 

 

He is greeted by hundreds of photos that he has taken over the months of their relationship. 

 

Juyeon leaves the bed to fetch a spare USB and plugs it into the side of Eric’s laptop, and starts copying files over so he can use them for his project later. 

 

Going through the photos in Eric’s gallery is time-consuming, as Eric likes to take pictures of everything. Juyeon is so fond. He clicks through every photo with a goofy smile plastered to his face as he takes in the past six months of their relationship. 

 

He loves Eric so damn much, and each photo is just confirming his feelings over and over and over. 

 

Juyeon probably has too many photos copied over to the USB, but at this point, it is just for his own enjoyment rather than his project idea. He’s now reclining against the pillows on their bed with the laptop resting on his stomach as he clicks through every blurry selfie Eric has ever taken of them. 

 

When he finally reaches the end of the photo album, he clicks back into the previous folder and sees folders labelled with other dates and events. Most look like they span back years ago, and Juyeon doesn't want to snoop, no matter how curious he is to know about Eric’s past. 

 

One folder calls to him, though, cam-videos. It sounds dirty, and Juyeon is just too much of a pervert not to click on the folder. 

 

Hundreds of videos begin to populate the folder, the small icons making Juyeon squint to see what they are. It’s difficult to tell what he’s looking at; every video looks the same and is most definitely not the type of cam videos he thought Eric was making. 

 

The icons pull at him because they look strangely familiar as he scrolls through the folder, every icon taken from the same angle. It is so strange. He clicks on a random video, probably about halfway through the folder and opens it. 

 

It’s his apartment. Or at least it looks like it, his empty apartment, with the camera pointed towards his living room and kitchen. Juyeon’s heart is in his throat as he is only able to take in a few seconds before the bang of the front door makes him jump. 

 

“Hyung! I have a surprise for you!” Eric’s sweet-sounding voice echoes from the entryway. Shit, he hasn’t looked at Eric’s location in at least an hour. He was so distracted by all the photos. 

 

Juyeon exits the video and the folder he had open. He slams the laptop shut, yanking the USB out of the port and places the laptop back where he found it. 

 

“Where are you, Juyonie-hyung?” Eric calls, footsteps getting closer. 

 

Juyeon plugs the laptop back into the charger with shaking hands and tries to take deep breaths. 

 

“In here!” he shouts back, trying to look busy by folding some laundry that was still in the basket. Usually, it is a task Eric would handle, but Juyeon needs something to do with his hands right now. 

 

Eric appears in the doorway, and he’s grinning so wide that his eyes are crinkling.

 

“Hi, baby. What’s going on?” Juyeon greets as Eric approaches him. 

 

“I know our anniversary isn’t for another week, but today was the only time I could get in, so I just did it anyway. Look!” Eric rambles and then finally presents his wrist in Juyeon’s face. 

 

It’s a new tattoo. A tattoo on the inside of his wrist that reads L.J. with a heart. Juyeon is speechless. Eric just permanently tattooed Juyeon’s name into his skin for their six-month anniversary. 

 

“Oh my god, Eric. You got that for me?” Juyeon sputters out, confirming. 

 

Eric beams, “Of course, silly. Do you like it?” 

 

Juyeon nods stupidly, completely perplexed about what to say. He is still thinking about the videos of his apartment on Eric’s laptop, and now he’s being presented with evidence of Eric’s love. 

 

“Of course. A-are you sure about this, though? This is a big deal.” 

 

“Uh-huh. I love you, Juyeon,” Eric claims very seriously, and Juyeon must not be giving him a good reaction because his eyes are filling with tears, and he looks dejected and fuck. This is not what Juyeon wanted. 

 

He picks up Eric’s plastic wrapped wrist in his hand, and the skin around the freshly done tattoo is red and irritated, so Juyeon softly kisses the flesh below it. He keeps eye contact with Eric as he does it, trying to send all his love through his actions. 

 

“I love you too, Youngjae,” Juyeon replies when he pulls away, thumb stroking over the skin on his forearm. 

 

A couple of tears spill over Eric’s eyelids as he cracks a smile. 

 

“Good. Because I want you to get a matching tattoo with me eventually,” Eric says with a watery giggle. “S.Y. on your wrist, how cute would that be? Couple tattoos, hyung!”

 

Matching tattoos. Juyeon feels lightheaded with everything that has happened in the past couple of minutes. It’s the first time he’s ever felt like he’s in over his head with Eric. 

 

Juyeon’s laugh is weak as he agrees, “Yeah. That would be so cute.” 

 

“Good. You had me worried for a second. Looked at me like I was crazy,” Eric responds, wiping away his tears with a laugh. 

 

“I’m just surprised you would love someone like me so much,” Juyeon expresses, and it’s the truth. What has Juyeon done that is so deserving of Eric’s worship? 

 

Eric looks offended by his words. “You are so special to me, hyung. You are everything to me. Let me show you.” His hands creep around Juyeon’s shoulders, and the next thing he knows, he’s getting pulled down into a kiss. 

 

Juyeon doesn’t let himself think about anything else that night as he is eventually dragged to their bed and his clothes are stripped from his body. All he focuses on is the love that Eric gives him, wholeheartedly. 

 

But it’s hard to forget. 

 

Seeing something that you shouldn’t see. 

 

Maybe Juyeon should’ve been oblivious. Minded his own business. But he didn’t. He explored areas of Eric’s life that he shouldn’t be privy to, and now he’s stuck with the image of his apartment on Eric’s laptop. 

 

It eats at him daily. There has to be something he’s missing. Some piece of the puzzle that he’s looking over. He thought maybe this was somehow Eric’s anniversary present, but he made it very clear that it was the tattoo. 

 

Fuck, he has to do something or else he’ll go crazy. He could just ask Eric, but the thought of telling him he betrayed his trust like that and looked through his stuff makes him sick to his stomach.  

 

No… He has to get to the bottom of this himself. There has to be an explanation. 

 

It’s a week later when he’s home alone again. Eric will only be gone briefly; he went to pick up dinner for them at a local spot close by. 

 

So as soon as the front door clicks closed, Juyeon beelines it to their room and grabs Eric’s laptop, putting it on his lap as he types in the password.

 

The password is still the same, and everything looks identical to before, same background, same folder organization. He can find his way back easily.

 

He navigates to the file explorer and goes into his photo gallery, and expects to see the cam-videos folder close to the top, but it’s not there. 

 

Maybe it’s just not loading in, he goes back a folder and then tries again. 

 

Nothing. 

 

It’s gone. Everything else is still there. Photos from before Juyeon knew Eric. Photos of Eric and Juyeon together. Every folder and every photo is still there, except the hundreds of videos that Juyeon knows he didn’t hallucinate. 

 

Juyeon feels sick. He didn’t dream that, right? He knows what he saw. He saw it with his own two eyes. It was very quick, though. He saw seconds of the video before he was exiting out and closing the lid of the laptop. 

 

It doesn’t make any fucking sense. 

 

It looked like there was a camera in his living room recording his apartment. Why would Eric have that? And why are they gone now? Did Eric figure out that Juyeon went on his laptop? Why wouldn't he say anything if he did? 

 

Is there still a camera in his house?

 

Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

 

Juyeon jumps off the bed and storms into the living room, and tries to picture the angle from which he saw the video coming from, and it seemed to be from his bookshelf. He goes over to it and starts to tear it apart. Books drop to the ground with loud bangs as the spines hit the floor hard, but Juyeon barely hears them. 

 

He searches the entire bookshelf, and he’s panting by the time he’s done. There is no camera. No nothing. 

 

Like it never existed. Maybe he is going crazy. 

 

Juyeon is numb as he closes down Eric’s laptop and puts it back where he found it, and then methodically puts the books back into the bookshelf. 

 

When Eric comes home, Juyeon is nearly done, placing the final books back.

 

“Looking for something to read?” Eric asks with a plastic bag of food hanging off his wrist as he closes the door behind him. 

 

“Yeah. Something like that,” Juyeon replies tonelessly. 

__________________

Nothing changes after that. Juyeon still has this uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach, and he doesn’t know why. He just feels like he’s missing something. Like there is a big glaring light-up sign with all the answers he’s looking for, but he keeps averting his gaze at the last moment.

 

It doesn’t help that Eric hasn’t changed at all. He’s still the sweetest boyfriend Juyeon could ever ask for. 

 

Juyeon feels fucking insane. Is he having some sort of paranoid episode where he is imagining things that never happened? Is he framing Eric as some sort of psycho in his mind when he is completely innocent? 

 

Eric, who tattooed Juyeon’s initials on his wrist as a show of love. Eric, who cleans his apartment and wakes him up with blowjobs. Eric, who has never been anything other than a positive influence in Juyeon’s life.

 

Eric, who has never told Juyeon anything of substance about his past. Eric, whom Juyeon barely even knows. 

 

Juyeon is spiralling. He wishes he still had friends to talk to about this. But they are all gone since the drama with Hyunjae stalking Eric. 

 

Hyunjae… That’s where all this weirdness started. Juyeon thinks back to the Instagram message he got from the older student. He has always proclaimed his innocence to such a degree that even Juyeon months ago wanted to believe him. It felt like betraying Eric, so he ignored those feelings. 

 

Fuck. Maybe he needs to talk to Hyunjae. Just to hear him out. Just to ease his mind. 

 

Juyeon is in the bathroom currently, the shower is running, but he’s been lost in his mind for a while now. Eric is out in the living room working on school work, none the wiser to Juyeon’s mental deterioration. He opens the Instagram app on his phone and navigates to Hyunjae’s account. He unblocks him and then sends him a message. 

 

JUYEON: Hi, could we meet up to talk? 

 

He then immediately closes the app and pretends like he didn’t just reach out to Eric’s stalker. He strips and gets into the shower and tries to focus on washing his hair even though his stomach is twisting with nausea. 

 

Hyunjae has answered by the time Juyeon exits the shower.

 

HYUNJAE: Is this a joke? 

 

JUYEON: No, I want to talk with you about Eric. We could meet on campus? 

 

HYUNJAE: Has something happened with Eric? 

 

JUYEON: Maybe. I need to confirm something with you. 

 

He can tell Hyunjae is hesitant, but once Juyeon confirms they can meet in public, he agrees, and Juyeon makes sure to plan for a time when Eric has class, as much as it pains him to do so. Hiding this from Eric and planning to meet with Hyunjae behind his back feels akin to cheating. He repeats to himself that he just needs to do this for his own peace of mind. 

 

Juyeon and Hyunjae meet in a cafe on campus a couple of days later, and kissing Eric before they separated to go to their classes felt like a sin. Juyeon is already sitting and waiting when Hyunjae walks in, and he waves him over. 

 

He sits down across from Juyeon, and it’s so incredibly awkward, but Juyeon powers through it.

 

“Thank you for coming,” he says.

 

Hyunjae scoffs, “Skip the small talk. Why am I here?” 

 

Juyeon’s mouth snaps shut at his blunt tone. He supposes it’s to be expected. 

 

“Did you stalk Eric?”

 

“No. I told you this months ago.” 

 

“Did you slash his tires?” 

 

“Fuck no. I don’t even know where his dance studio is.” 

 

“How can I trust you?” Juyeon questions, and Hyunjae is guarded, arms crossed over his chest as he scowls at Juyeon. 

 

“You can’t. But I know I’m telling the truth. How can you trust Eric?”

 

“Because I love him,” Juyeon answers easily. Loving Eric is as easy as breathing now. 

 

Hyunjae rolls his eyes. “You know I have an alibi for the night his tires got slashed, right?” 

 

“So you got someone to slash them for you. You left threatening messages on Eric’s phone.” 

 

“I didn’t, and if you just invited me here to interrogate me, I’m going to leave.” 

 

Juyeon tries to breathe. “I’m not. I’m sorry. I’m just trying to solve all of this.” 

 

“Me and Eric hooked up a few times fucking forever ago. We both knew it wasn’t serious, and I don’t have feelings for him, and I don’t think he has any for me, if this whole witch hunt is anything to go by. I don’t know why he lied to you, but I haven’t done shit to him. I don’t want anything to do with him; I’ve moved on from all of this. The police have cleared my name, and I’m just trying to focus on graduating.” Hyunjae asserts, and it's the same thing he told Juyeon over text. It could be rehearsed, or it could be the truth. 

 

“Do you know anything about Eric’s past? His family?” Juyeon questions, and it obviously throws Hyunjae off as he blinks at Juyeon.

 

“No? We didn’t really talk about personal shit. Our relationship wasn’t really like that.” He laughs, and Juyeon hates the bitter jealousy he feels over Hyunjae referring to their past sexual relationship. 

 

Juyeon stews over what to ask next when Hyunjae continues.“The guys really miss you, Juyeon. Kevin mentions you sometimes, and I know he’s really sad your friendship fell apart.” 

 

His stomach twists at that. He misses them all so much. 

 

“Protecting Eric came first, and they didn’t understand that.” 

 

“Does he even need protecting, or did he just somehow manipulate you into thinking that?” 

 

Juyeon nearly growls. “Fuck you. What reason would he even have to lie to me about this?” Why the hell would Eric implicate his past hookup in something so awful if he is truly innocent? 

 

“Because he is crazy! I don’t know how you're the last person to realize this…” Hyunjae throws his hands up, and they are starting to attract attention to them as their voices rise at one another. 

 

“I don’t know why I thought this was a good idea,” Juyeon says as he stands up to leave. 

 

Hyunjae laughs, a sarcastic and nasty sound as Juyeon walks away. 

 

“You can only act naive for so long, Juyeon. You’re so close to waking up!” 

 

Juyeon ignores him as he storms out. He rounds the corner and nearly bumps into someone. 

 

“Sorry,” he mumbles, barely sparing a glance at the shorter individual he ran into. 

 

He does a double-take. It’s Eric. 

 

“Youngjae? What are you doing here?” Juyeon asks as he takes in Eric, who was seemingly just about to go into the cafe. 

 

His eyes go wide. “I could ask you that, too, hyung. I was about to get a coffee. I finished my test early, so I was going to wait for you here,” Eric giggles, looking just as surprised to see Juyeon. 

 

Fuck. He can’t let Eric see Hyunjae inside. Also, a test? Eric didn’t mention anything about having a test today. Or maybe he did? Juyeon has been so out of it lately. 

 

“Let’s go,” Juyeon says, taking Eric by the hand and leading him away from the cafe. His heart is pounding in his chest that he was nearly caught talking with Hyunjae. Who knows how Eric would’ve taken that? 

 

“Where are we going? Why aren’t you in class?” Eric asks, confused. 

 

“Home,” Juyeon simply replies. He needs to shut off his brain. 

 

Juyeon corners Eric against the wall as soon as they walk in the front door together. He pushes him roughly against the wood and kisses him, letting out all of his frustration and anger from his conversation with Hyunjae onto Eric. 

 

Eric makes a confused, muffled noise against Juyeon’s mouth as they kiss. Juyeon ignores him, shoving his tongue down his throat as he devours him. He starts to yank at the belt looped around his waist, pulling his pants down his thighs with his underwear so he can get his cock out. 

 

“Hyung?” Eric asks breathily, when they separate for air, a line of saliva connects them as Juyeon pushes his forehead against Eric's. He needs Eric like he needs water. If he doesn’t have Eric, then he doesn’t see a world where he is in it. Hyunjae is lying, he has to be. 

 

Juyeon doesn't say anything as he places a hand on Eric’s shoulder and pushes him down. Eric listens easily, obediently, as he lowers himself to his knees on the floor. 

 

He sits there and watches as Juyeon jerks himself off, hand tight around his cock to wake it up. He needs to feel Eric’s velvet mouth around his length; he needs to be reminded that he is loved, that he has all he needs right in front of him. 

 

“Are you okay?” Eric asks, and he sounds hesitant. It’s understandable. This isn’t Juyeon. 

 

“Just suck it, Youngjae,” He mutters as he leans his face against his forearm that he has braced against the door over Eric. 

 

Perfect little Eric doesn’t question Juyeon at all, and his hands are replacing Juyeon’s as he starts to stroke his cock. His hands are small and gentle as he uses both of them to jerk him off, silent as a mouse. 

 

“Your mouth,” Juyeon commands, and he looks down to see the top of Eric’s head nodding as his lips seal around the head of Juyeon’s cock. Just like he was made to. 

 

Juyeon sighs in relief as Eric inches down his length, taking more and more into his perfect, wet and small mouth. 

 

There are no words exchanged as Juyeon fucks Eric's mouth; he lets Eric do all the work until he starts to leak all over Eric’s tongue. He needs more. More stimulation. More saliva. More love. 

 

Juyeon reaches a hand down and his fingers tighten in Eric’s hair before he starts to thrust in, long and deep until he hits the back of Eric’s head. The younger starts to choke, but he lets it happen. He lets Juyon fuck his mouth to his heart's content. Because he loves Juyeon. 

 

“Good boy. So good, Youngjae. My baby, my baby, my baby,” Juyeon babbles as he’s close. He’s so keyed up with emotions that the sight of Eric on his knees with his mouth open and willing is enough to send him over the edge. 

 

He comes down Eric’s throat with a shout and hastily wipes away a few tears that somehow escaped and have trickled down his cheeks. He hides his face in the crook of his arm as he milks his cock into Eric’s waiting mouth. 

 

His lover swallows it all and looks up at Juyeon with wide eyes when he’s done. “Was that okay?” he asks, and Juyeon is so overwhelmed with love for him. 

 

“Yes. You’re perfect,” Juyeon breathes, and Eric smiles, completely elated. 

__________________

It’s weird after that day. Juyeon has never been more suspicious of Eric, but Eric is the same as always; if anything, he’s more submissive than he ever was before. Calling Eric his perfect little wife has never been more accurate. The younger must be able to tell that Juyeon is stressed, offering up his body to him as a way to appease him. It’s hard to say no when Eric bats his eyelashes and pouts his lips as a way to entice him, and Juyeon falls for it pretty much every single time. 

 

Juyeon is just worried that he’s catching on. 

 

Talking with Hyunjae barely helped; the conversation didn’t help soothe his conscience at all. 

 

So Juyeon starts small: he finds out from Eric who was in his class the day he ran into him at the cafe, by innocently asking about his classmates. He searches them up on social media and is able to confirm what Juyeon was dreading; there was no test that day. 

 

Eric lied to him. 

 

What else has he lied to him about? 

 

At their dance studio, he chats with some of Eric’s dance mates when Eric is in the bathroom. He asks about the day of the tire slashing and what they remember. They are worried that something new has happened, but Juyeon tells them no, and that he’s just still thinking about it. He tells them not to tell Eric they talked about this. 

 

They don’t give much in substance; most of it is verbatim from what Eric told him. One person tells Juyeon that Eric arrived late that day, but then laughs and says that it isn’t out of the ordinary for Eric. Which is true, Juyeon can confirm that firsthand. Trying to get Eric out of bed when they have somewhere to be is a near-impossible task. 

 

All the ‘evidence’ he has is circumstantial. He hates that his brain is pointing him in the direction that Eric has been lying to him throughout their entire relationship, and that he had created the stalking drama all by himself. That Hyunjae is actually innocent and was just the unfortunate target of Eric’s sick game. 

 

He worries that the reason Juyeon hasn’t been able to get ahead of Eric is because of the tracking app where they can both see where the other is. That Eric saw Juyeon wasn’t in class and followed him to the cafe where he was meeting Hyunjae.  

 

It all makes sense except for the fact that he has no motive. Why the hell would Eric do this? He loves Juyeon, and Juyeon loves him. Why would he fake awful things happening to him? Juyeon can’t wrap his head around it; there is seemingly no reason for Eric to do this. 

 

The lack of motive is what has Juyeon holding onto hope that this is all in Juyeon’s head. I’m just paranoid, is what Juyeon repeats like a mantra when he’s with Eric. He watches his lover sleep one morning, curled into Juyeon’s side, all warm and soft and Juyeon’s conflicting emotions are eating him alive. Eric’s cheek is resting on his palm, and Juyeon can see the tattooed initials of his name ingrained into his skin. 

 

He has never loved anyone like he does Eric, but having these doubts is destroying his mental state. Eric was supposed to be good for him, but he feels himself getting dragged back into his depressive spiral. 

 

How could he sleep in the same bed every night with a sociopath? 

 

Eric’s eyes flutter open at that moment. He looks at Juyeon and gives him a small smile. “Good morning, my love.” 

 

The words turn Juyeon’s stomach in ways he can’t quite articulate. The mixture of love and suspicion is a deadly cocktail. 

 

He leans down and kisses the tattoo, now fully healed, and winds an arm over Eric’s waist. “Good morning, baby.” 

 

“You don’t have class until later, want to mess around a little? We can do whatever you want,” Eric asks, voice full of sleep but still flirty. It’s never a little with Eric, but Juyeon relents anyway. 

__________________

It’s Halloween. 

 

Juyeon and Eric have decided to go out to a club tonight. It’s been a long time since they’ve gone dancing and drinking together. The last time was probably back when they were still involved with their friend groups. Eric goes to the bar sometimes with Sunwoo, but neither of them have been to a club in a while. 

 

Eric had the idea of a matching couple costume, so here they are, getting ready together and getting into their ridiculous outfits. 

 

They are going as an angel and a devil. Juyeon is the devil, and Eric is the angel, of course. It’s silly, but Eric really liked the idea, so Juyeon agreed and gave in, because he always gives in to Eric. 

 

Juyeon is still getting changed in the bedroom. His costume is laid out on the bed, and he is slowly tugging the tight material on. The pants are loose enough, but the shirt is tight and red and translucent. It’s exposing, but not as much as Eric’s, so he’ll let it slide for tonight. He can hear Eric in the bathroom doing his makeup and humming along to the song he has playing on his phone. 

 

Once he has his outfit on, he puts on his black devil wings and then goes into the bathroom to join Eric. 

 

His lover is leaning over the sink as he applies eyeliner, and he looks stunning. Juyeon can’t help but come up behind him and glue himself to Eric's back, arms circling his tiny, naked waist. 

 

“You look so hot, baby.” Juyeon remarks as he leans down and kisses Eric’s neck. He smells amazing, too. They might not make it out the front door at this point. 

 

“Thank you, Juyeonie-hyung. You look quite devilishly handsome yourself,” Eric jokes and shoots Juyeon a wink in the mirror. 

 

Eric is wearing his angel costume, a tight white crop top and a short white skirt. He has his feathery angel wings on and a halo headband to match. His hair has been recently bleached, and he truly looks like the most perfect angel ever. 

 

The outfit is doing things to Juyeon. He’s never seen Eric dress like this before. He’s never seen him in a skirt before. Eric dresses like the most average university guy, so when the package arrived and Eric presented it to him, Juyeon nearly passed out. 

 

He looks fucking ethereal. His skin looks so soft and dewy. He has the lightest blush of pink on his cheeks, and his eyes look big and innocent. Juyeon can almost put aside all his worries just seeing Eric like this. 

 

Juyeon nearly forgets why he came into the bathroom in the first place and puts on his own headband, two red horns that stick out of Juyeon’s gelled hair. He has it styled off his forehead tonight, while Eric’s hair is mussed and permed on his forehead. He looks like a little cherub. Juyeon wants to kiss him so badly. 

 

His hands stray back to Eric’s body. He can’t keep his hands to himself when Eric looks like this. Juyeon’s fingers stroke down Eric’s skirt, and he teases the bottom of it. 

 

Eric slaps his hand away immediately. “Hands off, perv.” 

 

“How are we supposed to go out tonight when you look like this? I’m going to be fighting off competition all night,” Juyeon says, way too seriously. 

 

Eric laughs, and the sound is the most beautiful symphony to Juyeon’s ears. 

 

“Speak for yourself, hyung. Who wouldn’t want a piece of Mister Tall, Dark and Handsome over here?” Eric replies, and he puts down his eyeliner to turn around in Juyeon’s arms with a smile on his face. 

 

“Hm. Maybe we should avoid that and stay here then…” Juyeon teases, and Eric rolls his eyes.

 

“You are so damn horny lately.” 

 

“It’s because I love you,” Juyeon responds, and even though they have been together for months and months, it still makes Eric blush. He has made it very obvious he still loves to hear that Juyeon loves him like it's the first time. 

 

“We are still going out,” Eric maintains, even though his ears are pink. 

 

Juyeon lets Eric go back to getting ready and leaves the bathroom to find his wallet and phone. Once he does, he sits on the couch in the living room and waits for Eric to finish, scrolling through social media as he waits. 

 

Eric finally comes out, and he looks like a wet dream come to life. White platform sneakers with matching knee-high socks to go with his crop top and skirt, angel wings and a halo headband perched on his head. He looks angelic in every sense of the word. Mussed blonde hair and light makeup that make him look sweet and innocent. Yeah, that’s Juyeon’s baby. 

 

“Fuck. You look incredible,” Juyeon compliments, as Eric drops his bag to the table and comes over to him and plants himself right onto Juyeon’s lap. Juyeon’s devil wings are probably smushed into the couch, but he doesn’t care as his hands roam freely over Eric’s body. 

 

He leans in to kiss Eric, but Eric moves back slightly. “I have lip gloss on. You’ll mess it up.” 

 

Juyeon pouts. “The lip gloss isn’t for me to enjoy? I can’t even kiss my boyfriend?” He tries not to sound too dejected, but fails. 

 

Eric giggles and gives him a feather-soft kiss on the lips. Juyeon licks his lips afterwards and tastes Eric’s lip gloss. It tastes like peaches. 

 

“That’s all you get,” Eric says with a smile before he lights up with an idea and rolls off of Juyeon’s lap to sit beside him, “Let’s take a selfie!”

 

Juyeon agrees easily and puts an arm around Eric’s waist as Eric gets out his phone. He holds it up and snaps a couple of photos of them with their faces squished together, and it’s cute. Eric breaks his promise and presses a kiss into Juyeon’s cheek as he takes another photo. 

 

As the shutter clicks, Eric gets a notification drop-down on his phone, and Juyeon’s blood runs cold as he freezes in place. 

 

It’s an Instagram story notification for Hyunjae. What the fuck?

 

Eric tries to swipe it away, but Juyeon is faster, hopped up on adrenaline, as he grabs it out of Eric’s hand and stands up to get a better look. He re-reads the notification in Eric’s notification panel, and he was right. 

 

“Hey—!” Eric exclaims as he tries to take it back, but Juyeon moves the phone away from him with a jerk. 

 

Eric has Hyunjae’s notifications on. What is going on here? 

 

Juyeon tried to have a good night tonight and not think about his lack of trust in Eric; he really tried. 

 

“Why do you have his notifications on?” Juyeon demands. 

 

Eric plays dumb. “Whose notifications?” 

 

“Hyunjae’s. Why are you still keeping up with him?” 

 

“Oh, him. That’s nothing, I just view his stories so I know where he is, so I don’t risk running into him.” 

 

Even though Juyeon wants to believe him, it sounds like a lie. Eric has seemingly been lying to him about a lot of things. 

 

“Let’s look at his story then.”

 

“Juyeon, give me my phone back,” Eric commands, and his voice is ice cold. Juyeon has never had this tone directed at him, and it almost intimidates him. He hates this. 

 

Juyeon ignores Eric and opens the notification. The story shows Hyunjae out at a club with some other people as they sing along to the song playing into the camera. They are all dressed up in Halloween costumes, and Juyeon wishes he could just ignore the fact that Hyunjae is currently at the club that he and Eric were planning on going to. He can’t watch anymore and swipes away. 

 

The phone is gripped tightly in his hand when he speaks up. “You wanted to go here tonight,” Juyeon utters, and his voice is hollowed out and empty. 

 

“Well, we definitely can’t go there now,” Eric mutters, and everything that comes out of his mouth just sounds like a lie. Juyeon can see that now. He’s been so blind.

 

“Or, you knew that and wanted us to go there and run into him. You wanted to see what I’d do,” Juyeon accuses, and Eric looks shocked. He seems surprised Juyeon is finally catching on. 

 

“Why would I ever do that?!” Eric exclaims, fake confusion lacing his voice. 

 

“Because you didn’t have a test that day when you ran into me outside the cafe. You knew why I was there, and this is you what… Punishing me? Testing me? Testing my loyalty to you?” The words are just spilling out of Juyeon now. It’s almost cathartic to finally let all of his feelings out like this. If only he weren’t blowing up his relationship at the same time. 

 

Eric looks perplexed, his big eyes staring back at Juyeon in shock. “Okay, I have no idea where this is coming from. Why were you at the cafe, Juyeon? Are you cheating on me?” 

 

And here comes the tears. Fat tears fall over Eric’s waterline as he ruins his pretty makeup. Cheating? Where the hell is he getting this from? He is trying to flip this back onto Juyeon to detract from himself. 

 

Juyeon wants to believe him and his tears so fucking bad. He really does. This is utter torture. He hates seeing Eric cry; it feels like hundreds of papercuts are being sliced into his heart. It stings to see his beautiful face crumpled up in pain like this. 

 

“Cut the shit, Eric. I know about the videos on your laptop of my apartment. I know about the lies. I know you didn’t have a test that day. I know about you showing up late to dance class the day your tires were slashed. I know you and Hyunjae were never serious and that he’s not a jealous ex. I know everything,” Juyeon says it all in one breath. His heart is pumping in his chest, and his breathing is laboured as he stares at Eric. 

 

If he’s right, then he’ll have finally broken through Eric’s manipulation, but if he’s wrong… Then he’ll probably never forgive himself. 

 

The crying stops immediately. Juyeon almost doesn’t believe he was crying in the first place if there weren't visible tear tracks running down his cheeks and cutting through his makeup. 

 

“And yet you’re still here with me,” Eric simply states. 

 

Juyeon is speechless. That’s all he has to say after Juyeon called out his lies? 

 

He sputters. “Because I love you! I didn’t want to believe it was true. Why would I want to think that about you?” 

 

“You know and you stayed. This is good, hyung. You really love me,” Eric says, and he sounds so pleased. He’s grinning in complete glee.

 

“No—Eric, no. This is not good. You spied on me in the privacy of my own home for what, weeks? Months? I don’t even know how long.” Juyeon’s hands are shaking, and his stomach turns with nausea. The feeling of being unsafe around his lover is something he’s never experienced. 

 

Eric avoids the question. “I had to. To get to know you. We wouldn’t have met otherwise.”

 

“We did, though. Multiple times. On campus, at the dance studio, at the party?” Juyeon is utterly confused. 

 

Eric starts listing off the dates on his fingers. “One: I don’t really play basketball, but you do. So I convinced my friends to play with me that day because I knew you would be there. Two, I changed dance studios for you. Sunwoo didn’t care since it’s closer to campus, so that worked out well. Three, we do have mutual friends, that’s true. But I started befriending Kevin more once I found out you guys were friends. I had to force myself into your life, you see, it was a necessary evil.”  

 

Juyeon scoffs. “A necessary evil. Stalking me is not what one would consider a necessary evil, Eric. You are insane. You’ve lied to me about everything! I don’t believe a single word you’ve said!” 

 

“You should. It’s the truth. I’ve never lied to you, hyung,” Eric claims, and he sounds so confident in his words that Juyeon almost believes him. He was always careful with his words; maybe throughout their relationship, he really hasn’t lied to him. He’s just avoided any topics that could put him at fault. 

 

“The shit with Hyunjae then? He’s innocent?”

 

That brings a smile to Eric’s face. 

 

“Honestly, you fell so much faster for me than I thought you would,” Eric says with a giggle, “I didn’t have to frame Hyunjae as quickly as I had planned. You were in the palm of my hand immediately. You were so cute back then, hyung. So doting. Gosh.” 

 

Juyeon feels so fucking stupid. It seems like everyone knew but him. Hyunjae tried to warn him, but Juyeon just ignored him. Blissful ignorance. 

 

“Our friends… They were right. It wasn’t Hyunjae at all,” Juyeon rasps, “I’ll tell them it was you this whole time.”

 

Eric rolls his eyes. “Sure, and who will they believe? You? Who took me away from them like an overly-possessive boyfriend and cut all contact or me?”

 

“I’ll tell them—”

 

Eric cuts him off as he mimics holding a phone to his ear and speaks in a watery and weak voice. “K-kevin? J-juyeon hyung is acting really weird… I t-think there is something wrong with him. We need to get him some help. I’m scared he’s going to hurt me if I try to leave.” His voice is a little too believable for comfort.

 

Juyeon’s hand is whipping out and striking Eric across the face in a loud slap before he can even think twice. At the realization of his actions, his heart sinks into his stomach, and the colour drains from his face. His hand stings. He immediately wants to apologize. This isn't him. 

 

Eric’s face is forced to the side from the slap, and he holds a hand to his reddening cheek and laughs, a giggle that Juyeon would find charming in any other situation. 

 

“I don’t even know who you are right now,” Juyeon stutters, voice shaking. 

 

“Yes, you do. I’m still the same person you fell in love with. It’s you and me, hyung. Eric and Juyeon against everyone else,” Eric replies, and his voice is pitching higher, and he sounds hysterical. He tries to get closer to Juyeon, but Juyeon steps back, tripping over his own feet but staying upright.

 

Eric puts his hand out to help, but Juyeon waves it away. The last thing he wants is to be touched by Eric right now. “Was anything even real?” He has to know; it’s been eating at him in the back of his mind this entire time.

 

“Real?” Eric questions, and he sounds legitimately confused. “Of course it is, everything between us is real. I just had to put myself in your line of sight for you to notice me. I love you, Juyeon.”

 

Love. After everything he has done, he still believes that this is love. Juyeon would laugh if he weren’t two seconds from passing out. 

 

“This isn’t love, Eric! It's an obsession. You are fucking obsessed with me.” Juyeon shouts, and it’s an odd feeling. He has never raised his voice at Eric before; he’s never had a reason to. It doesn’t feel right, but it’s the only way he can get his point across. 

 

“No. It’s love. Don’t say that, hyung. That really hurts me. I love you. I love you! What don’t you understand? I love you more than anyone else. I love you more than anyone ever will!” Eric yells as tears well up in his eyes again, and how is he the one crying in this situation? He has just shattered Juyeon’s perception of reality, but he’s the one having a meltdown. 

 

“Other people love me,” Juyeon defends, but it sounds weak even to his own ears. 

 

Tears are running down Eric’s face, but he still manages to look in control as he scoffs, “Be serious, hyung. It’s not like you have anyone else but me, do you?” 

 

At this point, Eric is right, and it feels like cold water is being poured over Juyeon. He feels the handcuffs around his wrists. There is nowhere to go. Eric is the only person who cares about him. 

 

Eric comes closer to him when Juyeon doesn’t respond, and he still looks the part of an angel; ironically, he’s anything but. A crying angel with red-rimmed eyes. 

 

“Just trust me, Juyeonie-hyung,” he asserts with those beautiful, big brown eyes of his.  

 

“I wish I could, Eric. You are the love of my life, but you betrayed my trust. I don’t think I could ever trust you again. You lied to me. You stalked me. You spied on me! How am I supposed to forgive and forget something like that?” 

 

“I did it for you, though. I did it for us. So we could be together,” Eric explains, and he doesn’t even realize how crazy he sounds. “I don’t have to do that now that we are together. I’ll be good for you now, hyung. It’s all over now.” 

 

Juyeon shakes his head and laughs, utterly void of emotion. This is so insane. This cannot be his life. If this is just a nightmare, then he can wake up now. It’s not funny anymore. 

 

“If I said I want to leave right now, would you let me?” Juyeon asks because he isn’t putting anything past Eric now. 

 

Eric contemplates the question. It looks like he wants to say no, and Juyeon expects as much. He is a prisoner of his own stupidity now. 

 

“I really want us to be together. Forever. I got your name tattooed on myself for you, hyung,” he says and presents the tattoo that Juyeon has seen many times now. Has kissed many times now. The black ink of Juyeon’s initials stark against his porcelain skin. 

 

“I never asked you to get that,” Juyeon replies vehemently. 

 

“I know,” Eric whispers, and he sounds hurt. “I know. But I wanted to express my loyalty to you. All I want is the same in return.”

 

“You would’ve had the same from me if you didn’t start doing all this crazy shit.”

 

“We wouldn’t be here if I didn’t do that! What don’t you understand about that?” Eric shouts as he nears Juyeon until they are nearly chest to chest. He has to look up to make eye contact with Juyeon, and it should give him a rush of control and dominance over Eric, instead it does anything but. Eric still holds all the cards. 

 

Juyeon still feels sick with nerves, but he’s realized he’s going about this all wrong. All Eric wants is Juyeon’s love. He’s made that abundantly clear. 

 

Underneath all the betrayal, all Juyeon wants is Eric’s love, too. 

 

So Juyeon picks up Eric’s wrist and presses his lips against Eric’s tattoo. “We can’t go back to what we were before. I don’t think I can do that,” Juyeon comments softly, as softly as he can, to minimize the blow. 

 

“We aren’t breaking up,” Eric declares. And interestingly enough, some twisted, fucked up part of Juyeon doesn’t want that either. 

 

“I don’t know what I want anymore,” Juyeon confesses. 

 

“Do you still want me?” Eric questions, hope flooding his voice. 

 

“I’ll always want you, no matter how much you hurt me. I’m in the palm of your hand, aren’t I?” Juyeon says, repeating Eric’s words back to him. 

 

In lieu of a response, Eric grabs Juyeon by his skintight shirt, fingers twisting into the thin fabric, and drags Juyeon down for a kiss. 

 

Their mouths smack against each other, and the rough kiss doesn’t get very far as Juyeon immediately pushes Eric away. “What the fuck are you doing?”

 

“Let me show you how much I love you. Let’s make love,” Eric pleads, nearing him again with wide eyes, just begging Juyeon to give in. 

 

“You’re fucking insane,” Juyeon spits, and he can taste the peach lip gloss again. 

 

“Yeah. For you, hyung. I’m only crazy for you,” Eric says as he looks up to Juyeon, his eyes never leave him. He is completely serious, and his fucked up sense of loyalty makes Juyeon’s cock stir in his pants. “Nobody else. Remember when I talked about my ex-boyfriends and you got so jealous and possessive over me? It was so hot because it drove you crazy, and you always fucked better. Imagine how I have always felt.” 

 

Juyeon remembers very clearly, it was like Eric brought up his past relationships just to rile him up. And it worked, of course, their sex was always more intense after these conversations. But it started and ended in the bedroom; he can’t imagine doing the shit Eric did because of jealousy. The closest he came to acting out of character was in relation to Eric’s safety and nothing else. 

 

He doesn’t get to reply as Eric has backed him up to the couch, and he plants two hands on his chest, pushing him back and onto the couch. Juyeon lets himself fall, it’s like he’s under Eric’s spell. He realizes that nothing matters if he doesn’t have Eric, and it’s a painful revelation to have in the midst of feeling like their entire relationship is a lie. 

 

Eric climbs into Juyeon’s lap, thighs bracketing Juyeon’s hips and kisses him again. And this time, Juyeon lets it happen. Eric is crazy. But Eric also loves him. It’s a tricky dichotomy because Juyeon is so deeply in love with him that his craziness isn’t completely outweighing his love right now. 

 

Maybe Juyeon is just damaged beyond repair, but Eric has some truth to his words. Nobody has ever loved Juyeon like Eric has, and nobody probably ever will. 

 

So he kisses Eric back, hands encircling Eric’s waist to pull him closer until Eric is grinding himself against Juyeon’s stomach. 

 

They kiss like it’s the first time. Back when they were strangers and hungry for contact with one another. They hold each other tight enough to leave marks and lick into one another’s mouths with a fervour that hasn’t been felt in months. 

 

“I hate you,” Juyeon mumbles against Eric’s mouth as he brings a hand up to cup Eric’s cheek to guide their kiss better. Every kiss feels like poison, like Eric is pulling him deeper and deeper under his control every time their lips meet. 

 

“I love you,” Eric breathes back as he grinds against Juyeon. “Make love to me.” 

 

Juyeon shakes his head as Eric begins to kiss down the length of his throat. Heavy and electric kisses are left in his wake that Juyeon can feel long after he’s moved on. 

 

“I'm going to fuck you. Not make love to you. You betrayed me.” 

 

Eric bites down on the skin of Juyeon’s neck, “I’ll make it up to you. I’ll be so good for you, a perfect little angel for my Juyeonie-hyung.” 

 

Juyeon laughs sarcastically. How rich of him to say that while he’s still in his angel outfit. He should be in the devil costume if anything made sense right now. 

 

He reaches under Eric’s skirt, and he’s wearing tight little boy shorts that barely cover the skin of his butt. Juyeon just feels the globes of his ass for a couple of moments as Eric continues to layer his skin with harsh kisses. His brain has completely turned off, and all he knows is the soft skin under his hands and the mounting pleasure simmering between them. He can think about the consequences after this.

 

“We don’t have lube,” Juyeon says as fingers move towards Eric’s opening. 

 

“I don’t care. Make love to me,” Eric begs, moaning in his ear.

 

Juyeon ignores the second part of his demand, and even though he is furious with Eric, he doesn’t want to ever hurt him. “No, don’t be stupid. That doesn’t work. We’ve tried before.” 

 

He’s referring to a failed attempt in the past when they were riled up and horny and Juyeon tried to fuck Eric without lube against the kitchen counter. It was probably too much too fast but it ended with Eric crying from how much it hurt and Juyeon felt so bad they never tried again. 

 

“You love me,” Eric mumbles into Juyeon’s lips as he kisses him before straying momentarily from Juyeon’s lap to grab his bag. He pulls out a small bottle of lubricant, and before Juyeon could even ask why he has that, Eric answers.

 

“Thought it would be hot if you fucked me in the club bathroom, but I guess this works too.” 

 

Juyeon has a one-track mind as he takes the bottle from Eric’s grasp before popping it open and messily pouring it onto a couple of fingers. He holds Eric’s underwear down so he can start probing his hole with a finger. He’s definitely not as gentle as usual, as he doesn’t wait for the green light from Eric and starts to fuck a knuckle into him. 

 

He doesn’t get any complaints, and instead, Eric holds himself open in Juyeon’s lap. His face is pressed against Juyeon’s throat, and Juyeon can hear the little noises that are coming out of him as Juyeon soon adds another finger. It’s too soon, but it doesn’t matter. Juyeon is so mad he could cry. If the stretch is too much for Eric, then he’ll just have to adjust quicker. He hates Eric so much at this moment, but the whimper Eric lets out when Juyeon scissors his fingers inside him is turning him on like nothing else. 

 

“I love you. I’m sorry. I’m ready, please make love to me,” Eric begs, he’s squirming around in Juyeon's lap, and Juyeon is so horny that he’s nodding in agreement before he can stop himself. A shoddy job, but it should be good enough that Eric won’t tear. 

 

Eric is already shimmying his underwear off, and Juyeon speaks up before he can take anything else off, “Leave the skirt.” 

 

He gets a smart look from Eric for that. “Why of course. Anything for my hyung.” 

 

Juyeon ignores his smarmy tone, and he’s about to take his cock out to prepare it, but suddenly his world is spinning, and Eric has manoeuvred him down onto his back on the couch. 

 

“Let me do all the work, hyungie. I have a lot to make up for, after all,” Eric asserts before he’s hovering over Juyeon’s body and dragging his pants down his thighs so he can get his length out. 

 

He is sitting on Juyeon’s lap, and his skirt lies limply on his thighs, and Juyeon’s hands drift on their own accord to touch Eric’s upper legs. His fingers dig into the flesh of his thighs as Eric takes his cock out of the confines of his pants and starts to jerk him off. He’s so fucking hard, his cockhead is red and angry, and he needs to fuck Eric immediately. 

 

“Hurry up, baby,” Juyeon groans, forcing the lube bottle back into Eric’s hands. The name slips out of his mouth accidentally; he calls Eric that constantly, but it feels like he’s betraying himself when it comes out now. It’s too sweet; it holds too much love for their current circumstances. 

 

“Patience, hyungie,” Eric placates as he spreads the lubricant over his cock until it is wet and glistening with the substance. He then stands on his knees and perches over Juyeon’s cock as he lines himself. 

 

Juyeon subtly helps, moving Eric until his hole is kissing the tip of Juyeon’s cock. 

 

“C’mon. Sit on it,” he urges. 

 

“When did you get so vulgar?” Eric asks, as he grinds himself against Juyeon’s cock, still not pushing it inside him. Teasing him. 

 

“Eric, I’m not in the mood for your attitude.” Juyeon’s eyes squeeze closed as his head falls back. He can’t handle Eric being cheeky right now. 

 

“Okay. I’m sorry.” He apologizes, not very convincingly, and the next thing Juyeon sees is his cock disappearing under Eric’s skirt and the head of his cock being enveloped by Eric’s warm heat. 

 

“Mmh,” Juyeon moans as his hands fly up to Eric’s hips to push him down deeper. 

 

Eric is whining into the living room as he sinks down onto Juyeon’s cock and his own hands leverage themselves on Juyeon’s chest to keep himself upright. 

 

“So big. Splitting me open. Never want anything else,” Eric babbles as his legs shake over Juyeon’s body. 

 

When he is finally seated onto Juyeon’s cock they both catch their breath for a moment as the feeling of Eric riding him is electric. Strangely, Juyeon has never felt closer. Maybe it’s because they truly know everything about each other now. For the first time, Juyeon knows the truth about Eric, and when he looks up at the younger boy sitting in his lap, he can see all the good and the bad that is wrapped up into his small body. 

 

“You’re so deep inside me, hyung. I can feel you at my belly button.” Eric moans, taking a hand to stroke over his stomach. The sight is fucking erotic, and Juyeon can’t help but raise his hips to fuck into Eric. 

 

Eric yelps as Juyeon roughly thrusts into him, bruising his hips with his fingers as he holds on tightly. He drags him down onto his cock, over and over again, chasing his own release. 

 

“Let me take care of you, hyung. I want you to want me.” 

 

“I do want you,” Juyeon groans, head fuzzy as all he knows is Eric’s tight hole around his cock. 

 

“No. I want you to only want me. Forever,” Eric says, and Juyeon looks up to see Eric’s hands drifting up his chest until a hand circles around Juyeon’s throat. 

 

It’s almost bizarre to see Eric’s delicate hands around his neck, the movement is so alien, especially when it comes to sex between them. Eric has always been the more submissive one in bed so this is completely foreign. 

 

The pressure is light, but his presence is there. “Eric…” Juyeon warns. 

 

“Just focus on me,” Eric calms as he slowly circles his hips on Juyeon’s lap. It feels so good, and Juyeon gasps at the stimulation. His cock is leaking inside Eric, and it’s impossible to focus on anything other than Eric right now. 

 

Eric’s fingers tighten around Juyeon’s throat, and the two of them keep eye contact as Eric lessens his hold only to tighten again. Juyeon’s heart is pounding in his chest. A mantra is repeating in his head that Eric would never hurt him, that this is just sex. 

 

A little part of him is scared, though.

 

It doesn’t help when Eric starts to edge him, reaching under him to grip Juyeon’s cock around the base, just barely fucking himself on the head of Juyeon’s length. It’s infuriating, and Eric looks way too pleased with himself. 

 

“Ride me, come on,” Juyeon urges, and Eric is so lost in the hand around Juyeon’s neck that he’s barely fucking himself on Juyeon’s cock. “Don’t make me angry.”

 

That seems to do the trick as Eric quickly abandons his idea to tease Juyeon’s release. 

 

“Yes, hyung,” Eric replies obediently as he raises his hips to drop himself back onto Juyeon’s shaft. They both moan together as Eric’s spare hand falls beside Juyeon’s head. 

 

“Kiss me, Youngjae,” Juyeon demands, and Eric nods, looking fucking ethereal with his blonde hair falling in his eyes as his skin glistens with sweat. 

 

He leans down and kisses Juyeon softly, way too softly for their circumstances, and Juyeon’s own hand shoots up and takes Eric by the throat. His hand is way tighter and way rougher than Eric’s ever was, and Eric’s eyes fly open to look at Juyeon in shock. 

 

“Don’t resist me, Youngjae, this is what you wanted. Keep fucking yourself on me,” Juyeon commands, and Eric’s hands are clawing at Juyeon’s hands around his throat, but he complies. He nods jerkily around Juyeon’s large hand and continues to ride Juyeon’s cock. His eyes are red-rimmed as a couple of pathetic tears fall over his eyelids. 

 

Juyeon keeps a tight hand around Eric’s neck as he thrusts up into his heat. Eventually, Eric lets it happen, hands falling to Juyeon’s chest as he props himself up to get a better rhythm going.

 

“There you go, baby,” Juyeon says, and he doesn’t like the person he is becoming. He doesn’t want to be rough with his lover; he wants to do as Eric asked: he wants to make love. He loves Eric, it’s impossible not to even at this point, but Eric is forcing him to retaliate. If Eric wants to play dirty, then Juyeon will stoop to his level. 

 

“‘m gonna come,” Eric whines around the hand circling his delicate throat, and Juyeon can feel it when Eric swallows dryly. 

 

Juyeon’s eyes fall to where Eric’s cock is trapped behind his skirt. He can see his little cock tenting behind the fabric and leaving a wet spot in the front. 

 

“Do it. Clench around me tighter,” Juyeon demands, and Eric is a mess, crying and shaking as he tries to ride Juyeon to completion. 

 

It doesn’t take long. Juyeon must hit his sweet spot because Eric moans loud, and then he is coming. Juyeon’s hand grips his throat and closes around it. Eric can only make strangled sounds as one hand jerks his cock while the other one tries to pry Juyeon’s fingers away from his neck. 

 

The tension around his cock is glorious, and when Eric starts to go limp and sag against Juyeon’s hips, he finally takes matters into his own hands and flips them over on the couch. Eric’s back hits the pillows, and his eyes are dazed as he stares up at Juyeon.

 

“I love you,” Eric says weakly, a tear dribbling down his cheek as Juyeon continues to thrust roughly into him. He’s aggressive as one hand stays limply around his throat while the other one takes Eric’s hip in hand and uses it as a grip to fuck into him. 

 

“I hate you,” Juyeon replies, and he is so close now. 

 

Eric’s hands seem to wake up as he drags Juyeon down to him, circling around his throat once more so they can kiss. It’s more of them breathing into each other’s mouths, but Eric is cutting off his air, and it’s doing something to his brain.

 

“You love me. You do,” Eric counters, and it’s so confident that Juyeon knows he knows that it’s true. 

 

He ignores him for now and fucks Eric into the sofa, finally coming deep into Eric as the younger whines at the feeling of overstimulation. 

 

Juyeon’s fingers loosen from Eric’s throat, and he moves away from Eric, falling to the other side of the couch so he can catch his breath. Eric groans as Juyeon pulls out quickly, and his come leaks out of his swollen hole. 

 

It’s silent as they lie on opposite sides of the couch. Juyeon rips the stupid devil horns off his head and throws them to the ground. He looks over to Eric, and the boy is still in his angel costume; his own halo had fallen off somewhere during their fucking, but he’s still in the rest of his outfit. 

 

Like the little manipulator he is, he slinks over to Juyeon, looking like an apology. 

 

Juyeon lets him come over to him, and Eric collapses on his chest, so they are cuddling on the couch. 

 

He hates Eric so much that all he can say to him is: “I love you.” 

 

__________________

The day Eric met Juyeon, it was beautiful outside. It was the middle of winter, snow reflected off the ground from the sunlight, and you could feel the chill seep into your bones. Juyeon was beautiful too, and Eric was entranced from the start. Juyeon was everything. He is everything. 

 

Eric first saw him on campus, seemingly walking to class. He had bulky headphones on over his hood and his winter jacket zipped up to his chin, but Eric could tell that he was handsome. He was tall, but had a slouched demeanour. He wore thick black framed glasses and had a backpack slung over one of his shoulders. 

 

The man walked past Eric without even sparing a single glance. It’s okay. Eric doesn’t blame him; The campus was busy and crowded, and Eric is one face in a million. The man walked at a casual pace, but he seemed to be going somewhere in a rush. He was probably going to class, and Eric’s feet felt like they were glued to the ground as he watched the man walk away into the mass of students.

 

The next time he saw the stranger was in the library. 

 

Eric could not believe his luck. He walked into the library one evening when he spotted the man already in there, typing away on his laptop. 

 

It was just so perfect. Eric’s heart stuttered in his chest as he progressed through the library at finally seeing the handsome stranger again. It had been weeks at this point, but Eric had not stopped thinking about him. And having no name or picture of the man made him impossible to find on social media. 

 

But then it wasn’t perfect. The man was with his friends. They were all studying together and chatting. Eric frowned. He wanted to try and introduce himself, but he didn’t want an audience. The man made him feel shy even though they had never spoken. 

 

There was a spare seat open at a table behind the man’s table, so he sat there and pretended to study. He came into the library to actually do work, but that all flew out the window once he saw the stranger. 

 

He put his earbuds in but didn’t play any music; he listened to them talk about classes and teachers, and homework. They discussed food preferences and their weekend plans. It was good knowledge to store away, and he typed the information into an empty document on his laptop. Eric liked the timbre of the man’s voice. He could get hard just listening to him speak.

 

It all came to fruition when one of his friends got up to leave, saying goodbye to everyone and whisper-yelling a “text me later, Juyeon!” to the man in question.

 

Bingo. 

 

“I think we need to end this.” Eric declared, laid out and naked on Hyunjae’s bed. They were both sweaty and sated from sex, and Eric was on his back, scrolling through his phone. 

 

“‘End this’?” Hyunjae repeated as he dragged his boxers back up his legs. 

 

“Yeah,” Eric tore his eyes away from his phone and looked at the older boy, “I don’t think we should hook up anymore.” 

 

Hyunjae shrugged. “Okay. Any reason why? You met someone?” 

 

“No, not yet. We both knew this was casual, so we should just end it now. I have things I need to focus on.” Eric said vaguely and rolled onto his front, face plastered against Hyunjae’s pillow as he looked at him. He thought about Juyeon. He wanted to tie up any loose ends before they met. 

 

Hyunjae stares at him blankly. “Sure. I don’t care. This was easy for the both of us, so I’m just a little confused. If you’re busy, then tell me no, I’m not forcing you to come over.”  

 

“Aw, you like me. That's sweet, hyung.” Eric grinned and Hyunjae rolled his eyes.

 

“Leave whenever. I'm gonna go shower.” 

 

Eric watched Hyunjae walk off in the direction of his bathroom and then he flopped back onto the bed. Hyunjae was easy, but it was never going to go anywhere. Eric was looking for something long term, anyway. 

 

The third time he saw Juyeon was on the basketball court. 

 

It was entirely too cold to be playing sports outside, but there he was. Eric was done for the day, leaving class to go home, when he saw the man again. The court was plowed of snow, so the area was empty, but ice was frozen to the basketball hoops. 

 

Juyeon was playing by himself, casually shooting hoops to pass the time. Thick woollen gloves covered his hands, and he was wearing the same jacket. 

 

Eric wanted to introduce himself so badly. His feet started taking him over to the man like he was possessed, but he stopped when Juyeon stopped too. He took a glove off and answered his cell phone. 

 

He couldn’t hear the conversation, but he could tell the man was packing up to leave. Juyeon held the ball under his arm and started walking away. Fear struck Eric that this could be the last time they would see each other. He got so close this time. 

 

Eric followed the man. He felt possessed, like his body was forcing him to follow Juyeon. He stayed at a distance but trailed him down the street. It wasn’t obvious; the streets were congested with students, and he was distracted on his phone. It was perfect. 

 

Juyeon got on the bus at one point, which Eric followed diligently, scanning his bus pass with ease. He stood in the middle of the bus while Juyeon sat at the back, now texting on his phone. 

 

When he got off at his stop, Eric followed, letting a couple of other students ahead of him as he kept track of Juyeon’s tall stature. 

 

The man walked for about five minutes before he arrived at his home, an apartment building. Eric hesitated. The apartment building was locked with a call box for those expecting visitors. There was no security guard, but Eric spotted a camera tucked away in a corner of the wall. 

 

He continued walking down the street as Juyeon unlocked the door and let himself in; it would be too suspicious to do anything more. 

 

Eric came back to the same building two days later on a Thursday, and his eyes tracked over the list of occupants posted outside the front doors. He wore a hat, gloves, jacket and mask. Luckily, the cover of winter disguised his hidden intentions. He did not know what Juyeon’s last name was, so he hoped that Lee, J., was the man he was looking for. 

 

Bzzzt. 

 

He called a random person on the list and waited. 

 

“Hello?” the voice asked.

 

“Package delivery,” Eric lied in a sing-song voice. 

 

“Okay. I’ll buzz you in,” they answered, and Eric grabbed the door greedily, letting himself into the apartment lobby. 

 

The board said Juyeon lived on the third floor, so Eric took the stairs, hoping to avoid anyone seeing him. The third floor was empty of occupants, and he checked the corners for any security cameras, but there were none. Perfect. 

 

He approached Juyeon’s door and put his ear against it. He held his breath and listened for any signs of life inside. Once again, nothing. He was hoping Juyeon would be in class; Eric was skipping his own class today to do this, and it seemed like he was correct. 

 

Eric glanced over his shoulder to double-check nobody was there before he got out his lockpick kit from his backpack. He had been watching YouTube videos on how to lockpick, so hopefully, he learned something useful from them. 

 

Thankfully, Juyeon’s building was old and dilapidated, the doors were weak and thin, and Eric was able to get in without much struggle. He put his gloves back on to conceal any fingerprints and immediately cracked the door open and went inside, closing it silently behind him. 

 

He stood in the narrow hallway and waited for any sounds before creeping in slowly. The house was silent as he took in his surroundings: pairs of sneakers on the floor, dishes in the sink, a fridge humming in the corner and books shoved randomly into a bookshelf. It all looked like a normal apartment building, and Eric needed to confirm it was Juyeon’s. 

 

Eric eventually found the bedroom, and he peeked in to see it was empty. An unmade bed and a desk with papers and textbooks scattered all over it. A basketball sat next to the desk chair, and Eric grinned. He had to be in the right place. 

 

As he looked deeper into the room, he found a photo of Juyeon, alongside his parents and his brother, on his nightstand. Juyeon looked young, probably a child at the time, with a wide smile on his face. Eric flipped the photo over, and it stated, Busan 2008. 

 

Eric took out his phone and snapped a picture of the photo. He then put it back exactly where he found it. His eyes drifted to his bed, the comforter was pulled back, and it looked so inviting. Eric could not help but lean down without touching anything and smelled his pillow. He took a deep breath and filled his lungs with the smell of Juyeon’s shampoo and cologne. Masculine, fresh, sexy. 

 

Fuck. This was his first time smelling the man, and he smells magnificent. Eric could only imagine what Juyeon smelled like in person. Eric imagined nuzzling into his neck and breathing in, and nearly had to sit down from the lust that coursed through him. He wanted to fucking jerk off. But no, he had to relax. It would happen soon. He just had to be patient. 

 

Eric took a quick glance at the time; he had been inside Juyeon’s house for about ten minutes. He had no idea when Juyeon would be home, so he snapped himself out of it. He had to work fast. He went back out to the living room and approached the bookshelf.

 

The top shelf hadn’t been touched in months by the looks of the dust coating some of the books’ spines. He quickly glanced at the books decorating the shelf. Juyeon had a mixture of fiction and non-fiction books. Books about love, philosophy and life. There were books about science, books in French and books by iconic authors everyone would recognize. Eric took some photos of the books that Juyeon seemed to read a lot. 

 

Eric reached into his backpack and took out a small video and audio recording camera, and got to work setting it up in a spot where Juyeon wouldn’t notice or look. 

 

He wasn’t lying about a package delivery; it was just for Juyeon and not for the random person that he buzzed in for. 

 

Once he was done and a connection had been established from the camera to his phone, he left. Re-locking the door and taking the stairs back down. His heart raced in his chest as he sprang out the front doors of the building, taking off down the street until he was far enough away to collapse on a bench and rip off his mask to take a breather. 

 

It only progressed from there. 

 

The first time Eric watched Juyeon through the camera, he held his breath as if Juyeon could hear him. He wasn’t even doing anything special, just puttering around his apartment. Making food, studying, running out the door with his jacket half on when he was late. 

 

He was so endearing. Eric liked him so much, and it became an obsession. It was already an obsession, but now Eric was tuning into the livestream when he was in class, brightness turned down low so the people behind him couldn’t see what he was looking at. 

 

One day, he found out that Juyeon had lost his mother. It made his demeanour at times make sense. It explained a lot about how Juyeon went about his days. He was on the phone with his father, and they spoke about her in the past tense. They recounted a story from Juyeon’s youth, and it sounded like a sweet memory. 

 

His family seemed amazing. They seemed so loving towards Juyeon, and Eric couldn’t wait to meet them. He was sure that Juyeon’s dad and brother would fall in love with him, too.

 

Juyeon held it together until he hung up the phone before he burst into tears. It was the first time Eric felt like he was intruding. He wished he weren't on the other side of the camera; he wished he were there, comforting Juyeon. Not being able to touch him physically or emotionally was torture. He wished Juyeon knew that Eric would be there for him. 

 

Another day, he had friends over. Some people Eric recognized, and others he didn’t. By this point, Eric had found Juyeon’s social media and was already aware they had mutual friends, but this was a nice confirmation. 

 

They all sat around and drank and chatted. Mainly about school and relationships, homework and dating. Juyeon was single, which was the main point Eric garnered from the conversation. Someone brought up how Juyeon hadn’t dated anyone in a while, and he shrugged them off, claiming that he was not interested. Eric wondered if it was because he was grieving, if the death of his mother had dampened any interest for love. Eric wondered if he would be different. 

 

That night, after all his friends left, Juyeon masturbated. Eric thought he would go to his room and be sadly out of Eric’s sight, but he didn’t. He took his cock out right there on the couch and jerked off to whatever porn he watched on his phone. 

 

Male moans could be heard from the phone, and Eric got excited. He flipped through a couple of different videos, but Eric didn’t hear the sounds of a woman. This was promising. Juyeon seemed to be interested in men. At least sexually. 

 

Eric touched himself too as he watched; it was impossible not to. How could he watch this beautiful man stroke his big cock and sit there observing like a monk? It was so hot. It was like they were doing phone sex together. Juyeon moaned when he was close to coming, and Eric stared, enraptured with him. 

 

Eric would have loved to unwrap Juyeon and see his body for the first time when they got together, but beggars can’t be choosers. This would have to do. And it sure did, Eric came all over his fingers with a whine, droplets hitting his phone screen, as he watched Juyeon’s spine stiffen as he came himself. His long fingers wrapped around his cock to get every bit of release out, and then he leaned back against the couch with a sigh. 

 

He watched Juyeon for weeks, learning his schedule and his personality. He learned his interests: his favourite sports teams, that he likes books and movies, and that he appreciates fashion and dance. He fell in love with him more and more. 

 

In a decision that Eric could only describe as one of pure longing, he broke into Juyeon’s house again. He knew Juyeon was out; he had transcribed his schedule and knew that Juyeon should be in class right now, and then right after, he would be going to dance class. Eric should have hours in his apartment alone. 

 

He no longer needs his lockpick tools, as Eric went to a locksmith and bought a spare key to Juyeon’s apartment. He was able to get a mould from the information listed on the lock the first time he broke in; he had lied, telling the locksmith that he lost his key and that all he had was the key number. 

 

It was easy now, the key worked like a charm, and Eric was inside Juyeon’s apartment again. 

 

He leisurely walked around this time, checking out everything that was out of the camera’s view. Juyeon’s bedroom was his main interest. Eric was called to it like a siren’s song. He looked through his drawers and his closet, completely enthralled by everything about the older boy. 

 

Eric ended up on Juyeon’s bed. He lay down carefully and turned his head to breathe in Juyeon’s scent on the pillow. 

 

Fuck, just as heavenly as the first time. Eric snuck a hand into his pants and gripped a hand around his shaft as he jerked himself off. He could take his time; he had hours after all. 

 

Eric ended up face down on Juyeon’s bed as he breathed in his smell and touched himself, his hand going faster and faster around his cock. He imagined Juyeon behind him, stroking a hand down his back as he wrapped his hand around Eric’s to help him jerk off. 

 

He came in his pants soon after, and Eric slowly relaxed against the comforter as Juyeon’s scent filled his nose. He grabbed a tissue off the side table and wiped his hand clean of the come that coated his fingers. 

 

It was gross, but he pocketed the tissue; he couldn’t risk having Juyeon find out he was there. 

 

Eric remade the bed exactly how he found it and stroked a hand over the bedding. This was everything to Eric, but he could tell it soon would not be enough. Touching his things and smelling his scent could only go so far. Eric needed the real thing. 

 

He needed a plan to meet Juyeon. He needed to have a good impression on Juyeon. He needed Juyeon’s complete attention on him. 

 

Eric needed to have Juyeon. 

__________________

The buzzing sound of a needle against skin fills the room, and Juyeon watches as the ink is seared into his flesh. 

 

His first tattoo and it’s simple. Just two letters. For their one year anniversary. 

 

He hasn’t been in the tattoo parlour long, and he doesn’t think he will be here much longer at the rate the artist is working. 

 

As the artist finishes the final stroke of the letter, Juyeon’s companion speaks up. “It looks beautiful,” he compliments. 

 

Juyeon nods in agreement as the artist cleans the tattoo with a wipe of his cloth. 

 

They walk out of the tattoo parlour once everything is wrapped up and paid for, and down the street. Their hands find each other easily, and walking side by side like this shows off their matching tattoos. Both were tattooed on the inner skin of their wrists. 

 

“Home now?” Juyeon asks, swinging their hands as they walk back to Juyeon’s car. 

 

“Yeah. Let’s go home, hyung,” Eric responds with a sweet smile. 

 

‘Home’ isn't a new word for them, but it is a new place. Part of their agreement to stay together came from a long list of requirements that Juyeon needed Eric to abide by. It’s a good thing Eric is so obedient to him because he followed every request without hesitation. 

 

He bought them a new apartment, nicer than Juyeon could ever afford or want, but he thinks he deserves to waste a little bit of Eric’s seemingly endless income. Juyeon couldn’t stay in his old place, an apartment that had been bugged with cameras and broken into on numerous occasions. They decorated their new apartment together and agreed to split the costs, even though they both know Eric will be paying the brunt of it. This time, the security cameras stay outside the front door. 

 

That’s the other thing, Juyeon needs to know more about Eric. His past, his family, his wealth, his friends. He needs to know who he’s committed to and Eric is slowly opening up about that too. Juyeon found out that Eric’s sister and mother live in America, a fact that Eric had somehow never told him. One of Juyeon’s requirements is to meet them, so next summer they are planning to visit them in Los Angeles. 

 

Juyeon thinks he will propose to Eric while they are there. He’s currently looking into engagement rings online and has a couple tabs open of rings that he thinks Eric would like. He can already imagine his lover's shocked reaction when Juyeon presents it to him on the beaches of LA. 

 

The tracking apps stay. Juyeon knows that this is an issue for both of them, there is no stalker or abuser that is following Eric around, but it’s more because Juyeon doesn’t trust Eric. He needs this avenue to know where Eric is at all times and Juyeon has a feeling Eric feels the same way. He knows that it’s not healthy. He knows that there is something wrong with them and their relationship. But this is all he has. 

 

Their love has never been stronger since the truth came out. Eric believes in Juyeon, he borderline worships him, and has pushed Juyeon into staying in ballet. Juyeon originally didn’t think he would be pursuing dance professionally but Eric gives him the confidence to stick with it. He is also there when Juyeon feels the waves of grief over his mother that still flare up occasionally. Eric is Juyeon’s number one fan, his cheerleader, his best friend and his lover. 

 

They never reunite with their friend group and so far, they haven’t made any new friends. Eric once said that they only need each other, and Juyeon tends to agree with him. 

 

He is friendly with his fellow dancers but everything that has happened in the past couple years has Juyeon keeping people at arm’s length. Plus, he shudders to think about how Eric would react if Juyeon made any new friends. His boyfriend tends to get pretty possessive when it comes to his attention.

 

Juyeon honestly doesn’t know how he would react if Eric found new friends. He can’t imagine a timeline where he would be normal about that either now. 

 

He doesn’t like to think about how Eric has changed him in any sort of negative sense. Eric has made Juyeon’s life worth living. Eric is everything he could ever want and gives him whatever he wants, how could he possibly let that go? 

 

“You have to keep it covered, hyung.” Eric whines when Juyeon is getting ready to shower that night. The water is warming up and Juyeon only has his briefs on. 

 

“I know, I know. The bandage is covering it.” Juyeon replies but he doesn’t mind Eric fussing over him like this. He loves being loved. 

 

He watches with a hint of a smile on his face as Eric presses down on the tape of his bandage, he watches his small hands make sure the tape is stuck securely to his skin so it can’t get wet. Juyeon watches his fingers and thinks about how he needs to steal one of Eric’s rings so he can find out his ring size. 

 

Eric glances up at him curiously. “What’s that look for?”

 

Juyeon shrugs. “You just look so cute. My little wife who takes care of me.” He says and although the term started as dirty talk between them in bed, it has turned into a sweet pet name for Eric outside of it. 

 

“If you keep calling me that, you might as well make it official.” Eric remarks as a light blush dusts his cheeks and Juyeon wonders if he knows about his plans to propose. After everything they’ve been through he wouldn’t doubt it. It makes his heart speed up thinking about Eric still keeping tabs on him. He should know by now that Juyeon isn’t going anywhere. 

 

Juyeon leans down and kisses him softly instead of responding. “Thank you, baby.” 

 

“Always.” Eric breathes against his lips when they part before leaving a final peck against his lips. 

 

Juyeon showers and then they fall into bed together to sleep, snuggled up against one another as they drift off. Eric is out on a run by time Juyeon gets out of bed the next morning and a small note reads that Eric will come back with breakfast. Yawning, Juyeon leisurely moves around their bedroom getting dressed. He checks Eric’s location on his phone and sees that he’s still running his usual loop. 

 

Juyeon is putting his phone down when a metallic glint catches his eye. He stops in his tracks as he notices one of Eric’s rings placed purposefully on Juyeon’s side table. He nearly laughs out loud, his lover is so obvious. Eric is so organized, there is no reason why the ring would be left there unless he wanted Juyeon to see it. 

 

Who knows if Eric is just planting hints that he wants to get married, as his comment the night before suggests, or if he’s spying on Juyeon’s phone activity and already knows about his plans. He has a sneaking suspicion that Eric hasn’t completely abandoned all of his previous surveillance activities like he once promised to. 

 

Either way, Eric’s answer is clear: Juyeon needs to go shopping. 

 

 

 

Notes:

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thank you for reading if you made it this far!! <3

this monster of a fic is the longest thing ive ever written, so feedback is VERY appreciated!!!! (please) (begging)