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Kiara wondered if there was something wrong with her.
On paper, the situation was pretty damn good: party going on downstairs, hot twenty-one year old girl (Kiara) and sexy stranger (Chris something) getting it on in one of the bedrooms upstairs.
But Kiara was not feeling it.
Chris and Kiara had met two hours ago. Kiara had liked his handshake, his shoulders, the curve of his jaw and the glimpse of his abs when they were playing beer pong. She had won and Chris had been a gracious loser and Kiara had thought that would mean he would be half decent at sex.
And so they had made their way upstairs and into an empty bedroom. In her defense: Kiara had been single for a while. Before kissing her, Chris had checked to make sure she was ok with everything. Kiara had liked that – consent was hot. After that though… it kind of went to shit. The highlight had been when Chris took off his shirt and Kiara had gotten a second look at his six pack. The making out that followed had been mostly awkward and a little too wet. Foreplay had been nonexistent. And the actual sex – well, Kiara was underneath him right now and it just wasn’t working for her.
The bass from downstairs thudded through the floorboards, a dull reminder that the party was still going strong. Kiara wondered if the people one floor down were having more fun than her. But maybe it wasn't all Chris's fault, Kiara thought as she ran a hand over his back and let out a moan to fake interest. She definitely stopped bringing her a-game when he quit fingering her two minutes in, claiming he couldn’t wait one more sec to get inside of her.
“I think I’m gonna come,” Chris groaned into her neck. The thought that it would be soon over, spurred her on too and Kiara tightened her hold on his shoulder and adjusted the angle of her hips. She let out another moan and he seemed to like that because his fingers gripped her hips harder.
“Yeah, I’m-” Chris muttered and his hips stuttered as he finished. Kiara was pretty sure they both felt a great sense of relief, albeit for other reasons. She felt him press a kiss into her neck before dropping all his weight on her. Kiara didn’t even attempt to cradle his fragile male ego and started shoving at his left shoulder.
“I need to pee,” she said as he moved away from her. Rolling away from him, she started grabbing for her clothes and pulling them on. Chris was on his back now, smiling up at her. Kiara didn’t know what she had been thinking. “You good?”
“Sure,” Chris said. He was still not moving. Kie’s eyes briefly ran over his naked form. He really did have a nice body. “Hey, are you ok?”
“I’m cool,” Kiara replied, straightening her shirt and looking down at the floor for the rest of her clothing. Great abs didn’t make up for the lack of orgasm, she thought before saying goodbye.
After finding a bathroom and getting herself a little cleaned up, she decided to rejoin the party. Sarah was still out there, somewhere, and Kiara felt like bitching to her friend about the lackluster sex she just had, preferably with more beer. It had gotten to be a little bit of a (very sad) tradition. But Sarah was nowhere to be found on the patio, where Kiara had left her less then an hour ago. She shot Sarah a message – where are you??? – but her best friend didn’t instantly reply like she usually did.
A few minutes passed. There was nothing happening - Sarah hadn't even read the message - and Kiara was contemplating doing a round in order to look for her friend. Just as she was pushing herself off the wall, a familiar scent drifted through the crowd — sharp and earthy. Someone nearby had lit up a joint. Kiara smiled. A little weed was exactly what she needed. Looking up, she noticed the tiny balcony and figured out that's where the smell was coming from.
Upstairs was deserted. The air was stuffy and hot and the music from downstairs a little less loud. When she spotted the door to the balcony, Kiara ran a hand through her hair, put on her biggest smile and pressed down the handle.
“You wouldn’t mind-” Kiara started, her voice low as she stepped outside and pulled the door shut.
“Oh, I would mind, actually,” a familiar voice answered.
Kiara blinked, stopped moving. The door closed behind her. She took in the boy in front of her: messy hair, a deep tan and heavy boots. Same old JJ Maybank. She eyed the joint in his hand briefly. Fuck, she thought, and considered slinking back into the house, pretending she hadn’t seen him.
They used to be friends. But that was back in Kildare, before graduation and before everybody moved to the nearest big city. John B, Pope and JJ had found an apartment together. Kiara was supposed to be their fourth roommate but her parents had put their foot down, muttering about college funds and cutting her off. And so Kiara had ended up rooming with Sarah Cameron, Kook princess. If only that had been the end of it. If only Kiara had managed to balance her old friendship with the boys with her new friendship with Sarah. But Kiara hadn’t been able to do so. Instead, Kiara had, ah, drifted and three years later John B, Pope and JJ were people she would nod politely at when running into.
Kiara messed up, back then. She knew that. Being friends with Sarah had changed her and Kiara had forgotten about the boys. Whenever other people would bring up college regrets, three faces flashed in front of Kiara’s eyes.
Tugging at the hem of her shorts, Kiara took a step forward. She was here. Might as well try. They used to be friends, after all.
“I mean it,” JJ continued, his eyes sliding over her form. Kiara pushed away to urge to cross her arms in front of her and glare down at him. “Can you leave?”
It stung more then it should’ve.
“It’s not your house,” Kiara replied because fuck it, she had as much right to be here as JJ had. She looked at the joint in JJ’s hand again. As if he could read her mind, he took a hit. He looked her straight in the eyes when he blew out the smoke. It had been a while since she'd seen him, Kiara realized. Months ago, at another party like this. He had arrived with John B and Pope, left with a brunette she didn't know. Kiara had watched them from the lawn as she scrolled through her Insta, bored out of her mind.
“Not yours either,” he shot back. “But you know, if you want to watch me finish this, be my guest.”
“You used to be better at sharing,” Kiara replied as she sat down on one of the rickety chairs. The balcony was tiny – a small table, three chairs. “Can I-”
“Nope,” JJ replied, popping the p and looking at her through a haze of smoke. He was enjoying this, Kiara knew.
“I can pay you,” she offered after a beat. It was the wrong thing to say: JJ’s eyes narrowed and he did that thing with his jaw that used to mean trouble. He didn't say a word though, which probably was more annoying than any reply he could've given her.
Under the pretense of glaring at him, Kiara let her eyes wander for a moment. Two years had gone by since she had been this close to him. Not a lot of changes, she noticed. His jawline was a little more defined and his hair was a little shorter then it used to be. The shirt he was wearing – a dark grey – still had the sleeves attached to it. She got a glimpse of a tattoo on his left bicep. She remembered that tattoo – he had gotten it on his 18th birthday. Kiara and John B had helped him pick it out from a huge pink binder.
“How was the sex?”
“I’m sorry, what?” Kiara's eyes snapped to JJ’s face.
JJ smirked at her, taking another hit. “Saw you go into a room with some Kook looking all perfect and prissy. And now your lipstick’s gone, hair all messy. I know I’m not smart like you Kie, but even I can make two outta that.”
“It’s none of your business,” Kiara answered, sitting up a bit. She fought the urge to ran a hand through her hair, reminding herself she fixed it before rejoining the party.
“Must have been a lousy fuck since you’re all tense and shit,” JJ continued, his voice gleeful now she was biting. “Come on, tell me, did you cum or not?”
Her foot shot out and it felt good when JJ yelped loudly. “Fuck off,” she added, looking at him. JJ met her eyes and a flicker of something passed over his face.
“Yeah, that’s not really the way to my weed,” he drawled and he extended the joint to her. Kiara made to take it, finally, when JJ, like the shit he was, withdrew his arm and took another hit. Kiara glared at him. JJ pretended he didn’t see. “Entertain me. Who was it?”
“You don’t know him,” Kiara replied. “Also, fuck off.”
“How would you rate him?” JJ asked, waving the joint in front of her face. Kiara tracked it with her eyes, a little bit like a cat did with one of those fuzzy things on a stick. She had thought the lowest point of her night had been behind her, but apparently not. “You know, on a scale of 1 to multiple orgasms?”
“A zero,” Kiara said after a moment, because fuck it. JJ already knew what she had been up to anyways. Also, it was the truth, wasn’t it? She had hooked up with a guy and hadn’t even gotten off. No one had prepared Kiara for the way one night stands mostly left you unsatisfied and hard up and forced you to finish up the job yourself.
JJ froze for a moment and in that second Kie leaned forward and plucked the joint from his fingers. He opened his mouth to protest, closed it and sunk back into his chair. Finally, she took her first drag of the joint, letting it settle into her lungs before exhaling.
“Jesus, this is stronger than I thought.”
“Ricky got a new contact,” JJ replied, jiggling his leg up and down. “So, did he even try?”
“Try what?” Kiara asked, bringing the joint to her mouth once more.
“To make you cum,” JJ stated, extending his arm and wiggling his fingers at her. “I’ll take that now.”
“I’m not talking to you-”
JJ’s fingers were still in her face when he interrupted her. “So that’s a no?”
Kiara passed him the joint, giving him a look. She tried to ignore the way their fingers brushed. “It’s a firm no,” she admitted.
“You really know how to pick them,” he said. JJ's head fell back and Kiara watched as his leg stopped moving and his arms settled down.
“It’s slim pickings,” Kiara admitted, staring at JJ’s face. He didn’t reply and Kiara leaned back. “Where are John B and Pope?”
“Around,” JJ vaguely replied. Kiara waited a beat but he didn’t elaborate. She kicked at his foot lightly. He kicked her back, not so lightly. “Jesus woman, I’m not their handler. How the fuck should I know?”
Kiara ignored him and looked over the edge of the balcony, propping up her head in her hands. There were strings of colored lights hung around the entire garden and Kie watched one of the lights flicker a little bit before going out altogether.
A different song started and Kiara heard several girls start to sing along with the lyrics. It was an old Vance Joy song, from an album they used to listen to back in the OBX. Kiara glanced at JJ. His eyes were still closed and his face looked relaxed.
“JJ?”
“Hm?”
“Remember the first time we got high?”
He didn’t reply. The blunt in his hand was almost gone and Kiara leaned forward to snatch it from his fingers once again. His fingers twitched but other than that, there was no reaction.
“That was a good day,” Kiara continued and she turned back to JJ.
“I remember,” JJ finally said.
“You guys were so annoying,” Kiara went on. “Like, what kind of misogynic bullshit was that? You guys had been smoking for months at that point.”
She had gotten into a fight with her parents and when JJ and John B had pulled out a joint, she had insisted they let her try as well. They had both been hesitant, stammering out shit about it being bad for her lungs and that the smoke would get into her hair. Pope had cackled when Kiara had snatched the blunt out of John B’s hand and shoved him in the marsh. JJ had immediately thrown his hands up, claiming it had been John B with all the issues, definitely not him, he was all up for her trying weed. Seconds later, Kiara was coughing up a lung after inhaling too deeply. When JJ started laughing, Kiara had pushed him in too.
“Yeah, we didn't give a shit about that," JJ stated. "We just didn’t wanna share."
“What do you mean?” Kiara asked, looking at JJ. A smile was pulling at his mouth and she knew he was telling the truth.
“We were broke as fuck Kie,” he explained, giving her a look as if she was slow.
They never asked her for money despite them knowing she had it. Instead, Kiara would just bring over food, beer, shampoo, soap and toilet paper as soon as she noticed their supplies dwindling. Supplying the weed had been JJ’s task though – and Kiara had never really thought about how they financed the never-ending supply of marihuana.
You could have told me, Kiara wanted to say. But what was the point? She bit at her lip and stayed quiet for a moment. After a beat, she looked back at JJ. “So uh, how are things?”
“The same,” JJ answered but again, he didn’t elaborate. He paused for a second. “You were always telling us about the orgasm gap, Kiara. You need to make better choices.”
So story time was over. JJ had never been subtle.
“Boys generally suck at sex,” Kiara said by way of explanation. She half-expected him to protest and to start yapping about his skills in the bedroom. As if he needed to do so – just last month Kiara had overheard a friend of Sarah bragging about getting railed by that Maybank guy. He didn’t though. He nodded his head as if agreeing.
“Try girls.” JJ’s eyes were trained on her face, waiting.
“I have,” Kiara replied after a second.
“Jesus,” JJ sputtered out, his eyes wide. It felt good to see him rattled. “Share with the class, won’t you?”
She smiled at him, a little lazy because of the weed flowing through her system now, and extended her arm. He gave her the last bit of the joint and his eyes were on her mouth when she took a hit. “It’s college,” Kiara said, exhaling. He was still watching her. “It’s basically a requirement to experiment.”
“C’mon,” JJ tried again. “What bases are we talking about? First? Second?”
She shouldn’t be enjoying this as much, Kiara knew. She dropped the blunt on the floor, crushing it with her heel to make sure it was out and held up three fingers. It was only the one time, but JJ didn’t need to know that.
JJ’s jaw dropped and he made a disbelieving sound. “Fuck me,” he muttered and he ran a hand over his face. He dropped back into the chair, shooting her a lazy grin before he closed his eyes.
There was this buzzing in her head, something she couldn’t ignore anymore. Kiara had always wondered – back when they were friend, back when they weren’t, now. In for a penny, she thought, and opened her mouth. “You know, I’ve heard some rumors about you.”
“Plenty of rumors about me,” JJ agreed, eyes still closed. Kiara looked at his fingers and his arms. He still wore a lot of rings. No more friendship bracelets though.
“About how good you are,” Kiara continued and she paused for a moment. JJ shifted in his chair but didn’t open his eyes. “You know, in bed.”
Kiara had hoped for a reaction, anything she could latch onto. JJ didn’t disappoint.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re hitting on me Kie,” JJ said.
“What if I am?” Kiara asked and she watched as JJ opened his mouth, closed it again. It was a little amusing, to see him so flustered and shook. But he kept on staring at her and the confidence she had felt just seconds ago, was slipping away quick. Kiara stood up after what felt like a long time but was probably only seconds. All of a sudden, she felt as if she had completely sobered up. Sober and completely, utterly embarrassed. She hoped JJ wasn’t able to see her flushed cheeks.
“Kie-”
“I’m going back inside,” she said as she opened the door quickly.
“Wait, Kie-”
“Catch you later,” Kiara answered, closing the door behind her. The cheery tone in her voice sounded so fake but Kiara could not let him know she was actually feeling-
The door opened and JJ slipped inside. “Will you give a man a moment, woman?”
JJ was in front of her now, his hands raised. He dropped them after a beat.
“Forget I said it,” Kiara said, very quickly. She opened a random door – an office – and walked in. “Can you just give me a minute?”
“No can do.” JJ followed her in, trying to catch her eyes. “Are you seriously trying to mack on me right now?”
Kiara's eyes dropped to JJ’s mouth. “No, she said and then she shook her head because really, it couldn't really get any worse at this point. “Yeah, ok, maybe I am.”
JJ’s eyes were on her mouth. She felt his fingers brush her bare arm but other than that, he didn’t do a thing. He was very, very close though. Kiara could lean in and kiss him.
“I just want to say-” JJ said, trailing off when Kiara leaned past him and pulled the door shut, flipping the lock. Just in case, she thought as she bit her lip.
“Kie,” JJ breathed.
In for a pound.
She leaned forward and kissed him.
As soon as her lips brushed his, JJ’s hands dropped to her waist and he moved her body so she was pressed up against the door with a loud thump. Any doubts still left in Kiara's mind left, because JJ went for it. Kiara moved her hands to his shoulders, pulling him even closer. One hand moved up, into his hair and JJ groaned into her mouth when she gave it the slightest pull. She liked the sound he made and did it again. This time, he didn’t just groan but also pressed his body even closer to hers and then pressed one of his legs between her legs. He was completely flush with her and it made her want to grind against him.
“You good?” he gasped out, pulling back the slightest bit. Kiara took in his wide eyes and wet mouth and pulled him back in, a silent yes.
“Wait,” JJ gasped against her mouth a second later. He pulled away and Kiara tried to kiss him again, annoyed. “Just, wait a sec Kie. This is dumb, right? This isn’t-.”
“What’s that thing you always say about stupid things?” JJ’s eyes fluttered shut for a beat. When he opened them, they were focused on her mouth.
“Yeah, all right,” he said and he leaned forward once more. Kiara tried to catch his mouth but JJ pressed his lips to her neck, nipping at the skin there. She let out a small sound and he must have liked that because his pelvis pressed against her once more and that actually felt really, really good.
It wasn’t enough.
They moved away from the door and towards the empty desk. Kiara leaned back against it and pulled JJ with her. His hands went to her waist again but this time they slipped under her shirt. She felt the cool metal of his rings against her heated skin and rolled her hips against him, feeling all of him.
It still wasn’t enough.
Her fingers found the hem of his shirt and she pushed it up. She ran one hand over his stomach and used the other to push the fabric to his shoulders. JJ broke away from her for a second in order to get rid of the shirt all together. She didn’t have time to take in all the bare skin in front of her because his pants had to go next, Kiara decided. She used both hands to open up his fly and then used her hands and her legs to push them down.
One of her hands went to his shoulder and tangled in his hair. The other one dropped to his front and cupped him. JJ let out a noise and Kiara really, really wanted to look down because JJ was really hard and he was really big and Kie was really, really curious.
And then JJ pulled back. Kiara let her eyes wander over him for a second. His hair was sticking up. He had a tattoo of a wave on his chest. Kiara had never seen it before. He was breathing heavily and his mouth was wet and his pants were pooled around his ankles. Kiara tried to lean back in but he stopped her.
"Are we really doing this?" he asked her, eyes dark and blown wide. Kiara wondered how he could still question her intentions. Her hand was on his dick.
In reply, Kiara pulled back the slightest bit. She unbuttoned her shorts, wriggled out of them and let them fall to the floor. It occurred to her she had been with another guy only an hour ago. But fuck it, men did that kind of shit all the time. JJ was watching her, his hands on her bare thighs now. Her top went next, then her bra. She dropped them on the floor as well. JJ's eyes dropped to her chest, then flitted back up. He grinned at her, teeth flashing. Kiara shrugged, an invitation.
"Ok then," JJ said, nodding his head and then he kissed her once more.
He was a little rougher, as if he had a harder time controlling himself and Kiara loved it. When he pushed her against the desk, she followed him and scrambled up on it. She tried to kiss him again but he pulled away, grinning. In response, Kiara wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer.
Kiara started moving her hips against him and JJ let out a loud groan. His mouth found hers and Kiara threw an arm around his shoulder to keep him close to her. She wanted more, still. Her hands dropped to his waist and she slipped her fingers beneath the waistband of his underwear. JJ shifted against her and then pulled back the slightest bit.
“Not yet,” he said as he pushed her hands away. His hands were on her thighs again and they slid up towards her underwear. “Bet I can make you cum," JJ said and he grinned down at her in a way that sent a wave of want through Kiara's entire body. Her underwear was pushed down and she felt JJ's fingers between her legs now, tentatively at first until he felt how wet she already was. "You're soaked," he murmured, his voice smug and surprised and a little soft and then he touched her just the way she liked and Kiara stopped thinking for a while and just clung to him.
When he dropped to his knees, Kiara froze and tried to close her legs. JJ looked up at her. His eyes were dark, his hair a mess. Kiara didn’t think she had ever seen a hotter sight.
“You don’t have to,” she said, squirming because his face was only inches away from her.
JJ was still looking up, his hands on her thighs. “I want to,” he said and he lowered his eyes as if preparing to dive in.
“It’s just-” Kiara started and again, she tried to close her legs. She had thought they were going to fuck. But this was- “I don’t want you to think you have to do that,” she finished.
“I know that,” JJ said slowly, as if she was playing dumb. Then, his mouth did this funny thing and his eyes flickered down and up. “He didn’t nut into you, right?”
“Jesus,” Kiara exclaimed and now she did firmly close her knees, shoving JJ back. “No, we used a condom.”
“K, good,” JJ smirked, sounding amused, the shit. He planted his forearms on her knees and looked up at her. “You don’t like getting your pussy eaten out?”
“Fuck JJ, do you have to say it like that?” Kiara exclaimed, maybe a little too loud.
“I’m very good at it,” JJ continued, his eyes big as he looked up at her. “Rave reviews.”
Kiara frowned at him. He was gazing up at her as if he really wanted to know why she was saying no.
“I just- I know guys don’t really enjoy doing it. That,” Kiara said, pressing her lips together after answering.
JJ inhaled deeply. When he exhaled, she felt his warm breath fan over her stomach, her chest. “Fucking Kooks,” he said, pressing a kiss to her left thigh. He was gently pulling her legs apart again and Kiara allowed it, a shiver running through her when JJ kissed her leg again. When there was enough space, he pushed his upper body against her again. “The thought of eating you out is almost making me come in my pants Kie,” JJ said in a low voice and it sounded so sincere that Kiara almost had to laugh at the admission. “I’m gonna make you feel real good, ok?”
Another shiver. Her breath caught. What had she told herself before? In for a pound. “Yeah. Ok.”
JJ took his time, asking her what she liked and guiding one of her hands to his hair. He used his fingers and his tongue and Kiara lowered her upper body, laying down and letting go because he hadn’t lied, he was making her feel so good. He told her to play with her tits and Kiara did and then he told her she was being so good for him and well – Kiara liked hearing that. When she came, she pressed one hand to her mouth because she didn’t want anyone else to hear her and used the other hand to push his face away from her when he kept on going.
"You liked that?" JJ asked her when he was back on his feet, hovering over her. Kiara was still on the desk and more than a little breathless. He lightly ran a hand over her, starting at her knee and ending at her shoulder. His mouth was all wet and he had a smug grin on his face.
“Yeah,” Kiara said. She slowly sat up, using her elbows and then her hands to move her body away from the desk. JJ was still between her legs. She curled her hands around his hips and let her fingers slip inside the waistband of his boxers. She didn’t want to blow up his already huge ego but maybe he deserved it, just this once. “You know I did.”
“Sure did,” JJ drawled in a thick southern accent. Kiara almost rolled her eyes at him but instead found his dick and let her fingers curl around it. She watched as JJ’s eyes fluttered shut and he let out a tiny sound.
"So," Kiara said.
JJ thrust into her hand, looking straight at her. "So?" he grinned.
"I think you should fuck me now", Kiara said and watched as the grin on JJ’s face widened.
"All righty ma’am," JJ replied eagerly, shoving down his boxers. She took him in and when she looked up, the look on his face was absolutely filthy. There was a condom in his hand – from where, Kiara did not know – and she watched him put it on.
"Are you-"
"Yes," Kiara replied because she was so sure. Only after that did JJ reach down and guide himself inside of her. Kiara let herself drop back on the desk again, happy to let JJ take the reins and she gripped the edge of the desk above her head, arching her back in a way she thought would make her boobs look good. His first strokes were slow, a little tentative.
“You feel real good Kie,” he told her and when she looked up at him, his eyes were focused on her face.
It took one, two minutes before they found the right rhythm, the right angle. “Oh, you like this right?” JJ asked teasingly at one point and Kiara moaned loudly and told him yes, keep doing that.
At one point, Kiara scrambled up and JJ’s arms went around her. They kissed messily and when the need for air became too much Kiara took in JJ’s face, all flushed and needy. “Kie,” JJ gasped against her mouth. “Kie, fuck Kiara, you feel so good.”
He asked if she could come again and Kiara really wished she could but told him no, but please keep going. He asked her to lay down again and she liked how his hands curled around her hips almost painfully when he picked up the pace. When he told her he was getting close, Kiara opened her eyes and took in his face before she told him to come. His eyes fluttered close when he did. His mouth fell open.
When he stopped moving, she watched as he grinned down at her a little awkwardly and pulled out of her. She expected JJ to step away from her, pull on his pants. Instead, his fingers replaced his dick immediately and he asked her if she could come again this way. Kiara arched her back and told him that yes, she could.
She got off again minutes later with JJ's mouth on her for the second time that night, as if he was still trying to prove a point. This time she didn’t bother smothering her moans. She hoped JJ could hear her despite her thighs wrapped around his head.
Afterwards, he stayed on the floor. She heard him slump against the desk, his upper body still between her legs but the other way around now. One of his hands curled around her calf.
"You good?"
"Yeah," Kiara replied, shifting slightly and closing her legs as far as she could. Now that they had finished, Kiara noticed the music from outside once more. "You?"
"Told you I’d make you cum," JJ answered smugly before she felt him press a kiss against her knee. He didn’t stop there: he kept on pressing kisses against her skin. In reply, she moved her legs and moved them closer against JJ. For a second she thought about sliding down as well, wrapping her arms around him.
“Twice, even,” Kiara supplied, pressing her heel against his chest.
JJ pressed another kiss against her leg. "We're probably going surfing tomorrow," JJ quietly said against the skin of her leg.
"That’s nice," Kiara replied after a beat.
"We usually meet at Sunny’s around ten," JJ continued. She felt his fingers curl around her left ankle, squeezing slightly. Kiara bit her lip, waited. "You still got your board?"
"Yeah," Kiara breathed out. Kiara could never get rid of it, even though she had only used it a few times since she had fallen out with the boys. JJ didn’t say anything else. He squeezed her foot and then he scrambled up, already pulling up his boxers. Kiara looked at his flyaway hair, his shoulders, his back as he did so.
"Here," JJ said as he shoved her panties at her a little abruptly. She scrambled up, closing her legs completely and attempting to cover up her chest with one arm. JJ didn’t really glance at her though. He was gathering his own clothes.
"Thanks," Kiara replied a little too late, bending over and pulling on her underwear. Her eyes were wet, all of a sudden, and she blinked furiously because she really did not want to cry.
She scrambled off the desk and reached down to grab the rest of her clothes. The urge to cry was still there but focusing on getting her clothes back on helped a little bit.
"You should come," he said as Kiara was pulling down her top.
"Oh. " Kiara paused. "I'd like that," she added quietly. She heard her voice hitch and JJ finally looked at her.
"Cool," JJ said. He looked as if he wanted to smile at her but then his expression turned serious. "Kie, I-"
She didn’t want to hear it. Kiara knew what he was going to say. The good outcome wasn’t going to be JJ and Kie. The good outcome might be JJ and Kiara and Pope and John B, though. That had to be enough. Kiara bit the inside of her cheek.
"This was- we should keep our mouths shut about this," JJ continued. The words fell between them. He was looking at her right shoulder. Kiara's eyes quickly flew over his face. His jaw was set, his eyes clear. Her eyes were getting all watery and she followed his example and focused her eyes on his shoulder.
"Ok," Kiara said because what else could she say? "Yeah, sure. Probably for the best," she added, mostly to convince herself. "No Pogue on Pogue macking, right?"
Somebody outside cheered loudly. JJ’s eyes were still focused on her shoulder. He was running a hand through his hair, over his face. Kiara thought about taking a step forward and kissing him one last time, a goodbye.
JJ’s eyes shifted to her face. "Right," he agreed and the moment passed. “This was just-”
“Just a thing,” Kiara said before he could say it was a mistake.
"Like, with Pope and John B, it'll get messy," JJ explained, looking at Kiara to see if she agreed. Kiara nodded quickly, not knowing what else to say. It wasn't as if JJ was wrong.
"Yeah. Yes. Let's just go back to being-" Kiara started, stopping before she could finish the sentence. This time JJ was nodding along and the f-word was hanging between them but not in a bad way.
"For sure," JJ continued when Kiara didn't pick up her sentence. He had stepped out in the hallway and was hovering in the doorway now. "I should go check on the kids, see what they're up to."
"Yeah," Kiara said, shrugging and trying to act normal. She tucked a curl behind her ear and tried not to stare at JJ's face too long. Just minutes ago he had been on top of her, gasping out her name and licking at her nipple. She wondered if she could ever not think about that whilst talking to him. "I'll probably head out soon, too."
"Gotta be up bright 'n early," JJ said, running a hand through his hair and making it stick up even more. "You know, for the surfing."
"Ten's not that early," Kiara replied, smiling slightly. There was a smile pulling at JJ's mouth and Kiara thought, ok, maybe we can go back to before.
His hand brushed hers lightly for only a second. Kiara bit at her lip and remembered that hand between her legs, making her fall apart.
"So, tomorrow?" JJ asked, his eyes focused on her.
She smiled a little too wide, nodded at him. "Tomorrow," Kiara promised, thinking or not.