Chapter Text
He’d heard that idiots were big in number, but this really tops it.
Yoongi’s face was lightly flushed pink as he lied sleeping on the ground in his black sleeping bag. Peacefully asleep with his hands tucked between his legs in a fetus position under his blanket. Softly snoozing. So innocent and unknowing.
Oh, Yoongi. Oh little, stupid Yoongi.
Had he already forgotten about the prank?
Jesus, Yoongi was so stupid. Oh well, it just makes it easier for him.
Hoseok lied back against the ground in own sleeping bag, sighing to himself as he wondered what to do. Everyone was already asleep and he was really running out of time to think of something now. Namjoon and Jungkook was already deep asleep across the corridor outside in the snorers-only room (if the loud seriously inhuman sounds leaking from the room was anything to go by) and so was Jimin, Taehyung and Jin, who were sharing the master bed. The master bed whose wooden leg was poking Hoseok in the head right now which was very annoying. Oh well. The sleeping positions had all been decided by court so what was he gonna do?
Okay, so the sleeping positions had been decided through rock paper and scissors and not by court. It was a bit embarrassing to think about because Hoseok always picked scissors but had to stop that since he was very predictable and always lost. He’d lost the game of rock, paper, scissors just how he’d lost pretty much every game of the night. He’d had to prank call his own grand mother and then run a lap around the house in only his underwear, which made the nasty old hag next door threaten to call the cops on him. He’d had to be Jungkook’s slave for ten minutes (yes he was put in a dog collar as Jungkook told him to go sit) and then he’d had to walk in high heels and ‘work it mama slay queen yas gawd’ which earned a giggling Taehyung a slap to the back of his head.
Like what the actual fuck? How was it even possible to have as bad luck as he did? Yoongi only had to drink water upside down, and Taehyung had to dress up as a girl, which he obviously enjoyed. Namjoon had won the most games and managed to dodge every dare, perhaps because he was at home-base. Maybe he deserved it. It was his birthday party slash sleep over after all. (He didn’t deserve it.)
One of the things Hoseok had lost was a bet about how many marshmallows Jimin could keep in his mouth at the same time (it had been 10 not 20 which stupid Hoseok had stupidly guessed, the furthest off of all the guesses) and as a result he’d have to prank someone at night. The prank would have to be good, in fact so good that everyone would remember it for a life time.
That sounded easy enough, right? Well, no. Hoseok wasn’t exactly the best at pranks, and when he drew the slip with Yoongi’s name on it from the jar he felt all bravery leave him. Because even though he was cute, Yoongi could be a force to be reckoned with when he was holding a grudge. Which wasn’t often, but still. Yoongi would probably stop sharing his chicken bits with Hoseok if he held a grudge at him.
Only Hoseok and Namjoon knew that Hoseok would prank Yoongi tonight. The birthday boy and the loser. If Hoseok didn’t have the guts to then someone else would prank him instead, and since they’d leave Namjoon’s house tomorrow afternoon that put him in serious danger. He did not want his pants pulled down in the cafeteria at school. (Yes, it had happened before. Three words: Jeon Jungkook 2015.)
The rules of the prank was pretty simple. They did this every time someone had a sleep over but so far he’d never had to prank anyone. Usually it was Jimin being pranked, often waking up with a moustache drawn on his face. One time it had happened to Jin. The horrible screams of “No, not my handsome face! Who did this? I will kill you!” had etched themselves stuck in Hoseok’s memory forever.
The solemn rules of party pranks at night:
Don’t cause any physical harm
It should be funny
Don’t wake the person up
Take a picture when you’re done as proof or else it didn’t happen
Hoseok’s prank had to be good, and it would be good. He’d been thinking about it all evening. Or well, since he found out that the task of carrying out a prank would fall on his lap. So he’d had about two hours to plan. The clock on the wall said that it was past three in the morning and the others had been asleep for atleast an hour now. Was that enough time to hit REM sleep?
The prank was simple but classic, genius, splendid. It would simply be hilarious. He struggled to keep himself from laughing as he sneaked into the kitchen five minutes later, grabbing a plastic cup and filling it with warm water. Not scorching hot, just a bit over lukewarm. Back in the bedroom he double checked that everyone was still asleep before crouching down beside Yoongi’s innocently sleeping figure. He lied there in his sleeping bag unaware of what was about to happen. The poor thing.
There was an evil, excited grin on Hoseok’s face. This time word hadn’t spread. Usually the person about to get pranked would get it whispered to them before the night but the odds had been in his favour. It would almost be too easy. Yoongi looked so peaceful sleeping on his side. Before starting Hoseok turned on the night lamp in the window so he’d have enough light for the humiliating pictures he was about to take.
Snickering, he pushed the blanket away from Yoongi’s body and gently moved one of Yoongi’s pale hands from between his knees in fetus position and instead dipped it into the glass with warm water one finger at a time. He glanced between Yoongi’s legs, holding his breath when he saw Yoongi move in his sleep, moving so he lied on his back with legs stretched out, hand still in the glass, kept in place by Hoseok. Hoseok had only seen this prank in movies before but if it didn’t work he’d draw cat whiskers on his face and pretend that this failure had never happened. That prank was not as bold or brave but enough to pass as an acceptable, if mediocre, prank.
It took about ten long, long seconds before he saw it. The wet spot forming at the front of Yoongi’s pyjama pants.
Oh my god. It actually worked. Hoseok choked on laughter but held it in. Was this for real? His grumpy, introverted, wise hyung just pissed his pants like a five year old! Hoseok would win best prank of the year with this.
He removed Yoongi’s hand from the glass and grabbed his phone. He snapped a few pictures of the glass with Yoongi’s hand beside it, Yoongi’s sleeping face, and then a last one with flash so you could explicitly see the big wet spot between hyung’s legs.
But then he heard something. A faint whine of some sort. Yoongi squeezed his legs together and Hoseok felt his heart jolt in his chest. Shit, no, don’t wake up. He darted back into his own sleeping bag and pressed his eyes shut, phone thrown to the bottom among his feet. Had he been caught? Please, I can’t fail when I’m this close!
With his eyes still closed he noticed the sticky smell of urine. Would it be enough to wake Yoongi up? He lied still counting to one hundred in his head before he dared opening his eyes again. Yoongi was still asleep. Phew. But Hoseok had felt stressed and pressed. He had to change Yoongi’s pants because if Yoongi woke up from the smell of piss or from the feeling of cold piss on his legs then he’d know he’d been pranked and no one was supposed to know before morning.
Besides, the shock on Yoongi’s face would be even greater if he woke up dry but saw the picture proof of him wetting his pants.
He checked once more that Yoongi was still asleep before he creeped to Yoongi’s backpack in the corner of the room and rummaged through it. He’d brought an extra pair of boxers, for who knows what reason. Maybe he often pissed himself when sleeping over at others? It was a funny thought. He had no extra pyjamas though. Oh well.
Hoseok walked on his knees and stopped beside Yoongi’s sleeping form. Excitement made it hard to stay quiet. This was just too funny. He grabbed Yoongi’s pyjama pants at the waistband and pulled them down his legs, thinking about how much he’d tease him tomorrow, and for the rest of his life. When the tennis team reunited at age eighty five they’d all scoff over that memory of Yoongi pissing himself in his sleep on a sleep over.
Making history felt really great.
When the pants were off the boxers were next. Previously white, now yellow. It was too funny. Hoseok might actually die from suppressed laughter. He pulled them down Yoongi’s legs and threw them off, grabbing the new pair, but then he came to a sudden stop. Oh. Yoongi’s dick was so small he hadn’t seen it at first. But he…
Yoongi-hyung was hard.
His little dick lied slick against his stomach, skin flushed bright pink with an angry red tip peeking out from under the stretched foreskin. He was all wet, not with piss but with... Yoongi’s dick twitched against Yoongi’s stomach and Yoongi whined.
Hoseok flied back to his own sleeping bag, heart racing. What the. Had Yoongi seen him staring? I didn’t stare. Had he noticed Hoseok taking off his clothes? Only for a prank.
Yoongi must be sedated or seriously sleep deprived because he didn’t wake up now either. Hoseok felt so relieved it was like his soul jumped back into his body. He lied perfectly still, taking in Yoongi’s sleeping form when Yoongi’s hips suddenly thrust upwards, dick jerking and hands grabbing at the sheets beside him.
Hoseok felt his face burn red. He’d never seen hyung’s dick hard before. Yoongi didn’t show his dick often or brag about it the way some others did. (Kim Taehyung). Yoongi was so great and had so many qualities that the size of his dick, or the fact that he even had one, didn’t really matter. But now Hoseok had seen it, and he had the greatest idea of another prank.
Wouldn’t it be even more embarrassing if Yoongi found out that he came in his sleep? Creaming his pants sounded way better and way more difficult than the previous, innocent, prank. A picture of Yoongi with come on his shirt was more embarrassing and hilarious than piss.
Would Yoongi forgive him? Yes. Hoseok would leave his dick out of the picture to be nice. He’d probably be angry for a while but two weeks later they’d be sharing a bag of chips and hyung would pay for his meal out of concern because Hoseok worked out too much and never ate enough.
The question was how he would do it. He’d have to touch him himself and that might be weird. He’d never touched a guy like that before, but how hard could it be? He had a dick, Yoongi had a dick. Simple math.
So Hoseok reached out with his right hand (he knew from experience that his right hand felt really good on a dick) and wrapped his fingers around Yoongi’s pink little dick. The skin was soft and hot and wet. It was kind of cute? If dicks could be cute. Hoseok stroked him carefully, watching Yoongi’s face to make sure he didn’t wake up. After only two strokes Yoongi’s hips jerked up.
“Ah-ah,” Yoongi moaned in his sleep, lips parted and eyebrows furrowed together. He looked kind of cute as well. Hoseok sent a glance at the bed and made sure that the others were still asleep. If anyone woke up now and saw him then the prank would be a fail and he’d be the embarrassed one instead.
Yoongi’s dick was so moist. Glancing down, he watched the tip appear and disappear in his fist as he touched him, skin an angry pink at the slit. Every time he pulled down the foreskin the flushed head was revealed and Hoseok stared like hypnotised as more precum spurted from the tip and trickled down the side of him. Hoseok collected it with his thumb as a strange thought hit him.
Did Yoongi grow hard after pissing himself? That’s so weird, but maybe he got off on wet things. He stared at Yoongi’s flushed dick deep in thought. The sooner he came the better…
Before he had the time to further contemplate he’d leaned in and sucked Yoongi’s dick into his mouth. The taste was bitter and the smell a mix of sweat and musk, but it wasn’t that bad, especially since Yoongi seemed to like it. His hips jerked up sharply and he moaned lowly into his pillow. Hoseok glanced up at him before moving his head, sucking Yoongi’s cock out then in, trying to remember what he’d seen in porn. But dicks in porn were twice or thrice the size of Yoongi’s so maybe that wasn’t good for reference.
Hoseok licked the tip before swallowing it whole, this time feeling it graze the back of his throat, triggering the need to gag. Yoongi’s hips jerked upwards frantically but Hoseok pulled back, replacing his mouth with his hand and frantically stroking Yoongi with quick strokes. Mesmerized, he watched how Yoongi came, back arcing off his sleeping bag and cock spurting four loads of come that painted his pyjama shirt white. Hoseok pumped the come out of him before releasing his throbbing angry red dick. Yoongi’s face was red too, red cheeks, breathing in quick breaths.
Hoseok looked around for his phone before grabbing it from the bottom of his sleeping bag to take a picture, but as he moved around he felt something weird. It almost felt like…
Oh shit. Glancing down he saw his snoop dog pyjama shorts tent in the front. I’m hard.
His face burned red and his heart jumped with panic when he saw that he’d accidentally recorded the discovery on his phone. He quickly deleted the video and threw his phone away. Maybe. Maybe this wasn’t a good prank after all. He’d just sucked off his hyung and that’s not something you did with a random friend, wasn’t it?
So it would be best if no one found out.
But there was evidence everywhere. Right now Yoongi was laying naked from the waist down in front of him, with come splattered all over his shirt.
Hoseok really really hated himself sometimes.
He draped the pair of clean boxers over Yoongi’s legs, tucking his little flushed dick inside hating the fact that he thought if looked even cuter now, and then opened the buttons of his pajama shirt and removed it. He could just tell the others that Yoongi had gotten piss on his shirt as well. No one would ask for details. Hopefully.
Guilt was trying to eat at him, but he told himself that he was a friend that had given his friend a favour. Yoongi had seemed to enjoy it, and he didn’t have any scars or anything and he’d never find out it happened anyway, so he shook off the feeling.
Nothing could explain why Hoseok hid Yoongi’s dirty shirt in his sleeping bag though. He turned his back to Yoongi and closed his eyes.
This never happened.
But he couldn’t sleep.
He was just so hard. He couldn’t remember a time when he’d ever been this hard before, not even after the first time he watched porn and came in his pants within a minute. His dick was throbbing, pulsating against its confines, and it felt more and more like torture. There was no logical reason to why he was this horny, he only knew that he had to relieve himself if he ever wished to stop counting sheep.
Just a quickie. He’d come in less than a minute before. So he wrapped his warm hand around himself, holding back a moan. Shit, that felt good. He’d just touched Yoongi’s dick with the same hand so technically he got Yoongi’s dick on his own now. He remembered how Yoongi’s little cock had tasted in his mouth as he jerked himself faster, thumb rubbing at his sensitive tip, he was so close already, fuck-
“Who the hell is jerking off!”
Hoseok froze, hand squeezing at the base of his hard to prevent himself from teetering over the edge. The room was spinning and he couldn’t think. Who’d said that? Someone had woken up.
The lights came on, blinding Hoseok who covered his eyes with the hand not currently hugging his dick. He shouldn’t have done that. Sleeping people didn’t cover their eyes. Whoever it was knew who’d been jerking off now.
A flash went off and an evil giggle followed.
Jimin.
“Talk about blackmail material!” The light was off again and Hoseok’s heart raced with panic.
“Shut up, delete that picture-”
“Is that Yoongi-hyung’s shirt you’re holding?”
Hoseok felt the panic increase. Shit, no. He kicked the shirt to the bottom of his sleeping bag. “What are you talking about? Just- delete that picture and I’ll give you ten bucks.”
“Hm. Twenty.”
“Fifteen. And I’ll carry your books all M-Monday.”
“Okay, deal.” Jimin sounded satisfied and leaned over the bed to show Hoseok as he deleted the picture, and then removed it from the trash as well. Hoseok could only stare, wondering what the hell just happened.
This wasn’t uncommon. It wasn’t often but sometimes some of them jerked off at night, even during sleep overs. They were teenage boys and even though he’d experienced some mildly disgusting scenarios there was always that benefit of catching someone at it, because then you could blackmail them and get favours. So far it had never been Hoseok though. Hoseok had never gotten caught because unlike his other friends he wasn’t an animal and he could go one night without touching himself.
Or so he’d thought anyway.
His erection had already wilted and he released himself from his grip. He felt a bit disgusted with himself and too wary to continue anything. He lied on his side and counted those sheep. One, two, fifty, one hundred and two. When he got to three hundred he fell asleep, with Yoongi’s body burning behind his back.