Work Text:
CptPaget: Wash Estrada.
muxdemux: whoa not even cadet, starting right out with the full name
muxdemux: am i in trouble
CptPaget: Have you ever not been in trouble, Estrada?
CptPaget: I am genuinely asking.
CptPaget: If there’s ever been even a moment where you were meeting expectations, I’ll be genuinely shocked.
CptPaget: The fact no one’s airlocked you yet is nothing short of a miracle.
muxdemux: you know that youre not supposed to talk to subordinates that way, right
muxdemux: actually youre probably not even supposed to message me
muxdemux: i could report that if i wanted to
CptPaget: And yet you don’t.
CptPaget: I think that says more about you than it does about me.
muxdemux: you could at least pretend to be intimidated
muxdemux: for my ego
CptPaget: Please. Your ego’s half the problem with you.
CptPaget: Get your ass up and in the hanger bay in the next five minutes or you won’t like how I take it out of you.
muxdemux: whatever
muxdemux: last time you said that i came so hard i cried
CptPaget has ended the chat.
muxdemux has opened the chat.
muxdemux: is it that kind of punishment
CptPaget has blocked muxdemux.
muxdemux: WOW
CLASSIFIED REPORT
FOR THE EYES OF RF STATION COMMANDERS ONLY
IF YOU ARE NOT RANK LIEUTENANT OR ABOVE AT RF STATION, CONTINUING READING PAST THIS POINT CREATES AN AGREEMENT THAT YOUR CIVIL RIGHTS ARE IMMEDIATELY AND FULLY FORFEIT TO THE COUNCIL.
IMPRISONMENT, ENHANCED INTERROGATION, AND DEATH WILL ALL BE LEGALLY SANCTIONED FOR BOTH ANY WHO READ THIS AND THEIR NEXT-OF-KIN.
From the desk of Captain Lorena Paget:
Project HAS-SATTP continues on its expected timeline despite previous setbacks. This can be attributed largely to our engineers, who have kept the Hercules in good condition despite the repeated failures of its pilot, Cadet Estrada.
Previous attempts at discipline for this cadet have not correlated with improved behavior. However, I maintain my recommendation that we keep Estrada on as Hercules’s pilot, if only due to how poor our other candidates have been. Cadet Solomon hasn’t yet woken up from his post-sync-up coma despite consistent injections of muscle stimulants and adrenocorticotropics. Cadet Nocton is still in the brig for the damages she’d left on the Iron Trooper. Supreme Cadet Randolph is honored for his sacrifice in the name of our station, but our scientists have made little progress on extracting the information from their brain for better study. See full recommendations below.
Cadet Estrada: continue Performance Improvement Plan under Captain Paget, monitor any changes in metrics
Cadet MacIntyre: removal from the cadet report list in accordance with desertion of post; bounty granting a commission to whoever returns them to RF, alive or dead
Cadet Nocton: reduce food rations to 0.79 of currently provided dose; if no change in behavior within two units, revisit threat against home station
Cadet Randolph: invite blood relations to RF in exchange for cooperation with tests
Cadet Solomon: increase treatment to maximum allowance of ACTH and SHIC; if no change in physical response within five cycles, elimination and harvest
muxdemux has blocked CptPaget.
muxdemux has unblocked CptPaget.
muxdemux: stop hacking my account to make me unblock you
muxdemux: it’s petty
CptPaget: It's not hacking, it's admin access.
CptPaget: Regardless, you are not allowed to block me.
muxdemux: i’m a commissioned officer
muxdemux: i earned the right to privacy
CptPaget: That’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever said, and it’s up against some steep competition.
CptPaget: You aren’t able to keep me away from you, Estrada. There is no corner of this station where I couldn’t find you.
CptPaget: It goes without saying that there’s nowhere outside of this station for you, either. If you leave RF, we will bring you back.
muxdemux: i can think of one way out
CptPaget: Please. Do you think I don’t already have a complete backup of your neural system and your genome ready for cloning if you were stupid enough to kill yourself?
muxdemux: i don’t even know why you’re so on my ass
muxdemux: don’t you have other cadets who are failures
muxdemux: didn’t nikki actually try and kill you
CptPaget: Cadet Nocton is facing discipline for her actions.
muxdemux: you mean youre starving her
CptPaget: Discipline takes many forms.
CptPaget: You’re familiar with that, at least.
muxdemux: i dont know if its discipline when you cage my dick and beat my ass until i cant even sit in the cockpit anymore
muxdemux: cockpitcage
CptPaget: You’re a child.
muxdemux: im like two years younger than you
CptPaget: That makes it even more embarrassing for you that you act like this.
CptPaget: Do you have a humiliation kink?
muxdemux: gee i wonder
muxdemux: its not like youd believe me if i say no
CptPaget: That’s true, I wouldn’t.
CptPaget: It’s fortunate that you do.
muxdemux: oh wow are you gonna admit you actually fucking like me?
muxdemux: *like fucking me
muxdemux: im not like
CptPaget: That’s not what I meant.
muxdemux: im not that big an idiot
CptPaget: It’s only convenient that you have a degradation kink rather than, say, a praise one.
muxdemux: oh so were just ignoring the typo, works for me
muxdemux: why is it convenient
CptPaget: You don’t need me to tell you that.
CptPaget: Or maybe you do. You really are that brainless.
CptPaget: Pathetic. You’re touching yourself at that, of all things?
muxdemux: wtf are there cameras in my fucking room now????
CptPaget: There are, but they’re not what I was looking at.
CptPaget: Your vitals spiked.
CptPaget: And then again when I call you on it. Interesting.
muxdemux: jesus christ are you watching those?
muxdemux: thats the creepiest thing youve ever done
CptPaget: Would you prefer I watched on the cameras?
muxdemux: yeah
CptPaget: That’s a shame.
CptPaget has blocked muxdemux.
CptPaget has unblocked muxdemux.
CptPaget: That’s not where the camera is.
CptPaget: And stop begging. You’re pathetic enough without that.
muxdemux: theres no winning with you
Thank you for using the RF Automated Kiosk! What would you like assistance with?
Technician Request | Job Assignment | Station Mission | RF Staff Complaint Form | Bounty Fulfillment | Enlistment | Other
RF Staff Complaint Form
Who is filing this complaint? Anon
Answer not accepted.
Who is filing this complaint? John Smith
Name not recognized. Please check for typos and submit again.
Who is filing this complaint? Zachariah Buckston
Accepted.
Which department are you filing a complaint against?
CS/FS | Janitorial | Education/Reeducation | Medical | Science | Engineering | Other
If Other, which? Captain Lorena Paget
Answer not accepted.
If Other, which? Security
What is your complaint regarding the Security department?
Too few workers on duty | Worker shirking position | Technician request | Airlock failure | Shield failure | Airlock failure | Other hardware failure | Software failure | Other
If Other, which? I saw Captain Paget hurting one of her cadets
Submission not accepted due to [UNKNOWN ERROR]. Please await a technician.
muxdemux: did you kill my favorite cafeteria guy
CptPaget: Why would I bother killing your “favorite cafeteria guy”?
muxdemux: i dont know
muxdemux: you really seem to like making me unhappy and he’s dead so
CptPaget: Not everything on this station leads back to me, Estrada.
CptPaget: Should I be flattered?
muxdemux: fuck no
muxdemux: fuck off
muxdemux: sorry sorry sorry soryr
muxdemux: ill be good turn it off im sorry
CptPaget: That’s better.
muxdemux: okay the collar hurts more than i thought it would
muxdemux: not in a fun way
CptPaget: I won’t use it unless you ask me to.
muxdemux: suuuuure
CptPaget: So long as you understand that acting against the best interests of this station, or of me, warrants you asking for pain.
CptPaget: I want what’s best for you, Estrada. What’s best for us both.
CptPaget: What’s best for our station is what’s best for us.
muxdemux: so you promise you didnt kill zack
CptPaget: I don’t even know a Zack.
muxdemux: okay
CptPaget: You have physiosync drills in the next five minutes.
muxdemux: ive never missed those and you know that
muxdemux: anytime i can link up with hercules i’ll do it
CptPaget: Then you’d best not lose the opportunity.
CptPaget: Get to it.
no fucking clue what she wants from me as per fucking uze. i ace the fuckin physiosync drill because no one gets the mech better than i do and she still yells at me about missing the paperwork or being late to strategy meetings or not being all up rfs ass as if any of that matters
let her do the paperwork, she loves the paperwork. i can focus on connecting with hercules. thats all im here for anyway, we both know it, everybody knows it
everything fucking sucks on this station except for hercules and i wish i wasnt anything but its pilot because if i could just be its perfect pilot then i wouldnt be wash estrada and id just be hercules and i could kill fucking anything in my path
i could be her weapon and she could wield me and it wouldnt hurt anymore. id raze a planet if she asked me to so long as i was hercules and not me. its so much easier being hercules
hey lorena if youre reading my fucking diary again hope you liked that bit and know that i still fucking hate your guts and hope you die along with everyone else in this station when one of the airlocks eventually gives
i just wihdflahsdfnasdffadfalklljnafsdjiadf
CptPaget: Don’t ever call me Lorena again.
CptPaget: You haven’t earned that right.
CLASSIFIED REPORT
FOR THE EYES OF RF STATION COMMANDERS ONLY
IF YOU ARE NOT RANK LIEUTENANT OR ABOVE AT RF STATION, CONTINUING READING PAST THIS POINT CREATES AN AGREEMENT THAT YOUR CIVIL RIGHTS ARE IMMEDIATELY AND FULLY FORFEIT TO THE COUNCIL.
IMPRISONMENT, ENHANCED INTERROGATION, AND DEATH WILL ALL BE LEGALLY SANCTIONED FOR BOTH ANY WHO READ THIS AND THEIR NEXT-OF-KIN.
From the desk of Captain Lorena Paget:
Cadet Estrada’s behavior has vastly improved over the course of their PIP, though they are still below minimum required metrics. Recommendation to continue PIP under Captain Paget. Full report on Cadet Estrada below.
MEDICAL: Continued muscle spasms without clear cause, severe exhaustion, minor burns at base of throat. Hypothesis: frayed wires in Hercules’s cockpit. Recommendation: Assign engineer team C to check engineer team B’s electrical engineering in cockpit to ensure we are within expected range of electrical exposure.
PSYCHOLOGICAL: Severe exhaustion, paranoia. Hypothesis: unknown. Recommendation: continued PIP under Captain Paget, continued monitoring of residential wing.
PHYSIOSYNC: No issues to report at present.
muxdemux: are you mad at me
CptPaget: Are you five years old?
muxdemux: no
muxdemux: you havent messaged me in two units
muxdemux: so
CptPaget: Did you miss me?
muxdemux: i just want to know if youre mad
muxdemux: if youre gonna hurt me id rather just get it over with
CptPaget: What makes you think I’m planning on hurting you?
muxdemux: the entire past year ive been your subordinate
muxdemux: youve never gone this long without talking to me
CptPaget: Of course I have.
muxdemux: you havent
muxdemux: i checked
muxdemux: okay dont make a fucking field day out of this all i did was scroll through some messages
CptPaget: I’m touched, Estrada.
muxdemux: touched in the head
CptPaget: There’s the disobedient brat I’ve come to know.
CptPaget: If you wanted my attention, you only had to ask.
muxdemux: i dont want your attention
muxdemux: lets pretend this never happened
CptPaget: No, I don’t think so.
muxdemux: how about we pretend this never happened and i pretend i never found out that zack died because he submitted a complaint form about you
muxdemux: living in ignorance is all the rage
CptPaget: It has nothing to do with you, Estrada. Any complaints about a lieutenant that don’t directly affect the safety of this station result in elimination.
muxdemux: what the fuck
muxdemux: actually i dont know why im surprised
CptPaget: Back to the issue at hand.
muxdemux: forgetting this ever happened? soooo true, thank you for your great and wonderful leadership oh honored leader
CptPaget: I’ll leave the door to my quarters unlocked.
CptPaget: You can show up or not. But remember that you meet with me tomorrow morning regardless.
muxdemux: whatll happen if i dont show up
CptPaget: I’ll make note of your insubordination on your Performance Improvement Plan.
muxdemux: you dont have to capitalize it when youre texting me
muxdemux: or remind me of it at all
muxdemux: whatll happen if i show up
CptPaget: I’d say that depends on how quickly you get here.
muxdemux: what if i sprinted across the station
CptPaget: In that case, I’d let you come once, if at all. I’m not a patient woman, Estrada.
CptPaget: Oh, look at that. It looks as though we’ve finally found a way to motivate you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you move so fast.