Chapter Text
Today’s a winding road; That’s taking me to places that I didn’t want to go. The band sings through the car speakers as the grey rental SUV continues its way through the I-80. Inside the car, it is quiet save for the music playing. There is a slight tension in the car’s atmosphere and Bob and Chito have been quiet ever since they left Windlass Hill; and their cross into the state of Wyoming goes unmentioned by the two.
Chito keeps his gaze fixed onto the passing scenery. His mind is a tangled mess of his thoughts. As the unchanging scenery of flat plains and a few hills covered in grass rolls by, he keeps replaying back what just happened at the top of Windlass Hill. Chito sullenly sinks back into the back of his seat, he lets his head fall back and resists the groan that threatens to escape his mouth. He closes his eyes and feigns having fallen asleep. The guilt that’s pooled in his stomach hasn’t abated and if anything, it’s made Chito feel worse with every second that has passed. He takes a deep breath and tries to calm his mind.
In the driver’s seat, Bob takes a furtive glance at Chito. He sees that the Filipino may have fallen asleep in the seat next to him and Bob lets out a quiet sigh. He focuses his eyes back onto the road ahead of them. When he’d first thought up the idea for their cross-country roadtrip, Bob never thought that they'd end up like this. Okay, granted, I really should’ve told Chito about Peru. He glumly thinks. But never thought that I’d be confessing my feelings on this trip. Bob rubs a hand on the back of his neck and lets out another sigh. He takes another tentative look at Chito, and is relieved to find that the other boy was still asleep in the passenger’s seat.
Chito was decidedly not asleep. His mind was running haywire as he tried to make sense of his own thoughts and emotions. Even though Bob had assured him that he wasn’t going anywhere and that nothing would change between the two of them, Chito couldn’t be calm. No matter what we say now, things have already changed. Chito thinks. But I’m also selfish, aren’t I? If I don’t feel the same way, isn’t it selfish to keep wanting him with me? He can’t help his brows furrowing into a frown, although he insists on keeping his eyes closed.
As he’s driving, Bob spots a sign for a gas station up ahead. He opens his mouth to ask Chito whether they should stop or not but ends up deciding against it. He glances at the passenger’s seat and sees the other boy still asleep, unchanged in his position on the car seat. Bob feels a slight worry at the frown on Chito’s face but ultimately decides not to disturb his sleep. Bob sighs and his grip tightens on the steering wheel as he speeds up ever so slightly. Might as well get us to Cheyenne as soon as we can. Bob thinks, I think we both need a good night’s rest.
_______
Bob had just turned off the engine when Chito’s phone rang. They’ve reached Cheyenne, Wyoming and Bob has just parked in the hotel where they’ll be staying for the night. Chito gets his phone to check his caller ID. Ambo David, his phone screen informs him. “I should get this.” He tells Bob with a sigh. “You can go check us in, I’ll follow you inside.” “Okay. I can take our bags in too. I’ll message you our room number.” Bob replies with a nod of his head. Chito just nods and is already placing his phone to his ear and opening the car door to get down and take his friend’s call. Bob watches him walk away for a beat before getting down himself and taking their bags from the back.
Chito moves to the other side of the parking lot. “Hello?” He says into the phone. “Chito!” Ambo’s voice booms into Chito’s ear. “I wanted to see how you were doing. It’s not too late for you guys yet right? How’s your trip? How’s Bob?” Chito winces at the last question. He doesn’t answer right away and Ambo immediately picks up on his hesitation. “What’s wrong?” Ambo asks, his voice suddenly taking on a more serious tone, “Has something happened?” Chito sighs into the phone, as he tries to articulate his thoughts. “A lot has happened.” He says with a hollow laugh. “I don’t know where to start.”
“You guys didn’t get into some kind of accident, did you?” Ambo says, his voice with a hint of worry. “Oh no no no.” Chito immediately says. “Nothing like that. No accident or bodily harm has happened.” He chokes out a laugh. “Okay okay, that’s good.” Ambo replies. “So what’s wrong?” Chito tilts his head upward, the sky now turning a slight orange hue, showing the first signs of sunset,. “Bob-” Chito starts but the words get caught in his throat. On the other line, on the other side of the world, Ambo raises a brow but patiently waits for his friend to continue.
Chito sighs and tries again. “Bob told me that he’s in love with me.” Chito says in a rush, all the words stringing together in one breath. He doesn’t receive a reply immediately. Chito holds his breath, waiting for what his friend might have to say.
“And?” comes Ambo’s reply. “What?” Chito confusedly says and a frown forms on his face. “And?” Ambo repeats. “What do you mean ‘And’?” Chito asks, annoyance seeping into his voice. “Why is that all you have to say?” “Oh wow.” Ambo says incredulously. “I thought you knew this. You really didn’t know?” Chito is stunned; he opens and closes his mouth, unable to formulate a reply.
“What do you mean?” Chito eventually says. “No, I didn’t; and anyway how did you know?” He adds defensively. Ambo sighs before he replies. “I thought it was obvious in the way you’d talk about him and even in the few times he’s joined in our video calls when you called him over.” If Chito could see him now, Ambo was shrugging his shoulders as he explained. He then asks Chito. “And so? What happened next?” Chito grows silent again.
Eventually Chito releases a sigh. “I didn’t say anything.” He mumbles into the phone. Ambo didn't reply right away and his silence spoke volumes to Chito. As the silence stretches on, Chito’s gut starts to tie itself into knots. “Really?” Ambo says, surprise evident in his voice. “I didn’t know what to say!” Chito says defensively. “Actually all I said was ‘I’m sorry.’” He ends with a sigh.
“Damn.” Ambo says. “That’s rough, poor Bob.”
“Hey!” Chito exclaims but then he groans into the phone, rubbing his hand down his face. His body sagging in defeat.
“Think about it Chito, the guy finally works out the courage to confess his feelings only to be rejected.” Ambo says matter-of-factly. Each word landed on Chito's ears like a blow. Chito doesn’t reply; he feels the knots in his stomach seemingly tighten. “I’m surprised that you rejected him though.” Ambo continues in the same serious tone, knocking Chito out of his own thoughts. “What? Why?” Chito says weakly into the phone, the furrow in his brow deepening. “I don’t know.” Ambo says, and Chito thinks that he can hear his friend shrug. “I just always thought that you were already in love with him too.” Chito’s mind suddenly blanks and Ambo continues, “Actually there was a point some time a go that I thought you guys were already dating but just didn’t want to tell anybody.”
Chito is stunned and once again finds himself unable to reply. He opens and closes his mouth several times, trying to formulate a sentence but couldn’t quite string a sentence together. As the minutes stretch on, “Hello?” Ambo says. “Chito, are you still there?” Chito clears his throat. “Y-yeah.” He stammers out. “I’m still here.” He sighs, “I guess I don’t know, Ambo. Of course I care about Bob greatly. I just never thought about it like that; so I don’t know what to do or how to go about things.” Chito is rambling now and he’s running his free hand through his hair. “Okay, okay. Relax.” Ambo tells his friend but then he sighs. “It can’t be helped, I suppose. And what else did Bob say?”
“That it’s okay,” Chito replies glumly. “That I shouldn’t force anything.” “Hmmm,” Ambo replies. “Yeah, that checks out. Bob’s nice that way.” Another wave of guilt washes over Chito and he only groans in reply. “Hey.” Ambo says, trying to calm his friend down over the line, “It’s okay. Bob’s right, confessing to feelings you’re not sure of wouldn’t be good for either of you. I just want you to be sure of your own emotions before you do anything. Don’t rush into anything, in any direction, do you understand?” Chito nods his head, despite his friend not seeing his action. “Yeah. I know.” He says, “I just hate that it hurts him, you know?” “I’m afraid it can’t be helped.” Ambo replies. “It is what it is.” Chito groans again and Ambo sighs in empathy for his friend, “Anyway,” he tells his friend, “It’s probably getting late for you. Go get some rest.” “Okay.” Chito gloomily replies. “Think of it this way, since Bob’s going to Peru anyway he’ll have every opportunity to get over you from there.” Ambo casually says.
“What?” Chito says, suddenly straightening his posture but Ambo only continues to talk in a casual tone. “He confessed, you didn’t reciprocate, the next plausible step is for him to think about moving on, right?” Ambo says. Chito doesn’t reply but a deep frown has formed onto his face. Unseen by Chito, Ambo raises a brow into his phone. The corner of his mouth tilting up in a sly smile. “Bye Chito. Good afternoon or night. I’ll call you next time.” Chito barely registers his friend’s words before he rushes out a ‘Bye’ before Ambo cuts the line. Chito takes the phone from his ear and stares at it dumbly. Just when he’d thought that talking to Ambo would provide him with some kind of clarity, they ended the conversation with him only being more confused. With a sigh, he straightens up his back and checks his messages inbox to find Bob’s message about their room number. He shakes his head to clear his thoughts and decides to head inside the hotel.
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“I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve already chosen a side of the bed.” Bob tells Chito as soon as he lets Chito into their room for the night. “Huh?” Chito confusedly replies as he walks past the short walkway and into the main part of the room. Just like the previous night in Grand Island, a double bed took up most of the space in the middle of the room. Great. Chito sullenly thinks. The universe must think that this is one big joke. Very funny. “Oh no worries, I don’t mind.” He says instead.
Chito takes a look around the room, which isn’t really any different from the other hotel rooms they’ve stayed in. He spots the bag of candy that they got from Omaha on Bob’s side of the bed. Chito inwardly sighs, how is it that they were in Omaha just the day before? It feels like a lifetime has passed. Next to the bag of candy, he sees an empty pack of chips. He lets out an amused sigh.
“So, what do we do about dinner?” Chito asks lightly. “I’ve been checking on the maps.” Bob replies. “If we’re not taking the car, there’s several places a few blocks away.” The taller boy brings out his phone and scrolls through his screen and continues. “There’s a place serving cajun food nearby, or there’s a Texas barbecue place or a surf n’ turf place. That’s what’s within walking distance. Which one of those sounds the most appealing to you?” He asks Chito, who just shrugs. “Honestly, they all sound the same to me.” The Filipino replies. “Whichever one is the nearest I guess.” “That would be the cajun place.” Bob says. “Oh hey, the reviews say that the restaurant itself is like a tourist spot.” “Sure. Let’s go there.” Chito nods.
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Fifteen minutes later, Bob and Chito are walking into Sanford’s Grub & Pub; a restaurant specializing in Cajun style steaks, burgers and other Louisiana staple dishes. As soon as they enter the restaurant, their eyes are immediately filled with the sight of various memorabilia like old fishing gear that line the walls and shelves of the restaurant; and inside, it is loud. The speakers are blaring with music and combined with the sound from the various game machines from the back of the room and the chatter from the customers made for a very lively atmosphere.
“Wow.” Chito says as they’re shown to their table and seats. “No wonder this place is advertised as a tourist destination.” Bob nods his head “It’s like a party in here.” “You know we could order a drink.” Chito teases. “We’re both 21 now!” Bob laughs at that. “We could, if you really want to. We both have our licenses. We don’t have to use fake IDs anymore.” “Ha! I don’t even want to try.” Chito replies. “Remember when I turned 21? Not even the guy at the convenience store would sell me beer, because they thought my ID was fake.” “That’s because you look like a kid.” Bob cheekily teases his friend. Chito rolls his eyes, “Ugh no, you just look like someone’s uncle.” He teases back and sticks out his tongue at his friend. Bob laughs loudly in reply, the sound of which releases some of the tension Chito held in his shoulders.
“It would be fun to get a drink.” Bob says, “But we might have a hard time getting out of bed tomorrow morning.” Chito tilts his head, “Why not? We could each just have one. You do the ordering. If they card us both and they don’t serve me then, oh well.” He ends with a shrug. Bob levels Chito with a look. “You can’t get drunk though.” Chito warns. “I can’t carry you back all the way to the hotel. I will leave you here or on the side of the road if necessary.” Bob lets out another loud laugh. The pair then decide on their food and drinks. When the server comes over to their table, Bob places their orders and they do get asked for their IDs. Their server raises an eyebrow at Chito’s ID and the Filipino holds his breath but the server doesn’t say anything and only gives them back their IDs and leaves to give the kitchens their orders.
“For a second there I thought they weren’t going to let my ID pass again.” Chito says once the server was out of earshot. “Which would be so annoying considering that I am now actually 21! And that’s a real ID! I’d be so annoyed if I had to replace my driver’s license.” Bob laughs at his indignation. “You should’ve brought your passport.” He jokes. “Ugh, and risk something happening to it? No, thank you.” Chito replies. “It’s lucky that there’s an embassy office in San Francisco but if we were in Villanova? I’d have to go to Washington or New York.”
After some time, their food and drinks arrive. At Chito’s insistence, they decided to share the surf n’ turf and the jambalaya penne; as for their drinks, they simply asked their server for the house specialties. The two boys dig into their food, thoroughly enjoying the taste along with the atmosphere of the restaurant they were in. They end up staying longer at Sanford’s than they originally planned and when Bob calls their server over for another drink, Chito only raises a brow at him. “Remember, I’m not carrying you.” He repeats his warning to his friend, which Bob only waves off. “It’s just one more.”
True to his word, Bob calls their server for the check after he finishes his drink and once they’ve paid, he and Chito are back out in the Cheyenne evening, walking the few blocks back to their hotel. “That was fun.” Chito says as he tilts his head backwards to make out the stars in the sky. “It was!” Bob agrees. “That place was great!” Chito snorts at the American’s sudden enthusiasm. “I think you’re drunk.” He tells Bob. “I am not!” Bob declares with a hand to his chest. “I just had a great time.” Chito laughs but keeps a watchful eye on his friend as they continue to walk.
The sun has long set and the gentle breeze that blows is welcome on this sultry summer night. The two continue to walk in companionable silence. Suddenly, Bob stops walking and turns his gaze into the sky. “Is something wrong?” Chito, who is walking beside the taller boy, turns to face him. Bob keeps his gaze fixed on the sky for a few moments and then he looks at Chito and gives him a wide smile. Chito’s breath hitches in his throat, “Bob?” he asks tentatively. “I’m so glad we went on this trip.” Bob tells him with an honesty that surprises Chito. “Even after, everything?” Chito prods and holds his breath. The Filipino’s eyes widen as Bob moves and closes the space between them, taking Chito in a hug. Chito freezes, his hands hanging uselessly at his sides. “Yes. Absolutely.” Bob says into the shorter boy’s hair, voice full of emotion. “I’m so glad we did this trip together.” Chito chokes up and wills himself not to cry then he moves to wrap his hands around Bob’s waist, effectively returning the hug. Bob tightens his hold around Chito and the pair stay where they are for several moments. Reluctantly, Chito pulls back to look at Bob. “We should get back to the hotel.” Chito softly says. Bob nods, a soft smile still on his face and his eyes shining with a sincerity that makes Chito’s throat catch.
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Later that night the two have gone to bed. Bob immediately fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow, much to Chito’s amusement. But as for Chito, sleep was a bit more elusive. He can’t help but replay the day’s events in his head; from his phone call with Ambo to dinner and the walk home with Bob. He felt overwhelmed; all manners of emotions were twisting in his gut. In the dark, Chito glared at the ceiling above in the vain hope that it would provide clarity.
‘Since Bob’s going to Peru anyway he’ll have every opportunity to get over you from there.’ Ambo’s words from their conversation come back to the forefront of Chito’s mind. He frowns and scoffs, though he can’t understand why the words seem to leave a foul taste in his mouth. The next plausible step for him is to think of moving on. Ambo had said and Chito felt a sudden pang of anger he couldn’t explain deep in his gut. His frown only deepens. With a sigh he turns onto his side and faces the wall. He closes his eyes in another attempt to get to sleep.
A sudden warmth envelopes Chito, and his eyes fly open. He tries to shift but quickly finds that he’s bound by Bob’s arm that is tightly wrapped around his waist. Chito feels a flush rise to his cheeks just as he realizes that he feels Bob’s even breathing across the back of his neck. “Bob?” He tentatively calls out but he only receives Bob’s continuous even breathing. He was still deeply asleep and Chito was frozen in place. He had half a mind to wake the other boy, but decided against it as he wouldn’t want to embarrass them both. He also thought about somehow freeing himself and getting out of bed, but then there wouldn’t be anywhere else for him to sleep and the risk of waking Bob up was also high. Chito sighs as he’s out of ideas, behind him Bob continues to be in dreamland.
Chito can’t help but softly laugh at his ‘predicament’. For all his panic earlier, he suddenly realizes that their current situation wasn’t so bad. Chito can’t help but think back to the hug he’d shared with Bob just earlier that night; and how he’d found himself reluctant to let go. Similarly, Chito finds himself settling into their position and soon enough, he matches his own breathing with Bob’s even one then Chito feels his eyelids get heavier as he’s finally lulled to sleep.