Chapter Text
“What do you want me to say?”
“Just tell us a little bit about yourself, what brought you to this experiment?” The woman behind the camera had a calm, kind demeanor and a wide smile as she held a clipboard in her hand. Eddie tried not to scoff at the word experiment…like this was some kind of science that they owed the world and not a reality TV show that was all about making money. He kept it in though, after all he was part of it now.
“My name is Eddie Diaz, I’m twenty seven years old, originally from El Paso Texas and I’m a firefighter. I…I didn’t want to come here really. My sisters sent in an application without me knowing and, I guess, I haven’t had much luck in the whole…” He didn’t want to say love. He wasn’t sure he really knew what it meant in a romantic sense. “Romantic side of things so…they convinced me.”
The producer smiled at him, “Now can you say that so we air it?”
Eddie smiled and nodded.
“Oh. Wow. That's a lot of lights.” Buck squinted as they shined lights towards him for his interview. “Is this many lights needed? Why are there so many? What can they all be doing?”
“Evan—“
“Buck.” He corrected the woman immediately. “Everyone calls me Buck. Or Mr Buckley but you're not a student so probably just Buck.”
“That comes from your last name?” She guessed.
“Yeah, when I was training there were two Evan’s in my class so…” He shrugged. “Got used to it. I felt more like me so it stuck.”
“Training to do what?”
“Oh, I’m a teacher.” Buck smiled. “Science. Kinda why the whole experiment thing caught my interest. That and the producer, I’m guessing, messaging me on a dating app.”
The woman smiled again but looked at him pointedly.
“Sorry, sorry I applied to the show, totally.” Buck nodded.
“And why did you think this experiment was right for you?”
“Ah, I dunno. Maybe them not being able to physically see me will help them actually see me for me.”
She smiled at him, a twinkle in her eyes, “I think you’re going to be great at this…Buck. Now let’s do it all together.”
“My name is Evan Buckley, my friends call me Buck. I am twenty eight years old, from Hershey Pennsylvania and I am a science teacher at a High School.”
Eddie, along with fourteen other men, were led into what had been called a holding room before they were let into the set and told they were on ice. Not allowed to talk to one another, Eddie guessed, so any conversation would be filmed. The same, however, could not be said for a man across the room. He was tall with hair grown out enough that it was curling, his whole body seemed to be vibrating with excited energy and his smile wide. Eddie wasn’t quite sure why his stomach seemed to squeeze when his gaze landed on him, the light bouncing off his features like it was some magazine shoot.
“I had no idea they used this many lights. And cameras there was like three for one inter—“
“Ice!”
“Sorry.” He bit his lip. It didn’t stay closed for long. “Why do they call it ice?” He was quietened this time by just a look from a producer. “You know, the first dating show was in 1965 on ABC and—“
“Evan! Ice.”
His mouth snapped shut once again.
“Do you think the women—“
“Buck!”
“Sorry.”
Eddie smiled all he could think was he wanted to be friends with that guy.
One by one each man was led to a door where they were led through and told to walk down the corridor to another door which would lead to the ‘men’s lounge’. They were told as soon as they walked inside they were going to be filming, they were allowed — encouraged — to talk and heavily hinted that to make the final edit they needed to be blown away. Eddie was about midway through the line up and noticed Buck was one of the first ones through probably, Eddie thought, to stop his talking when they were meant to be silent. When Eddie walked through the door, he looked suitably impressed but honestly did not care if he didn’t get a single second on TV. They all walked around looking at the room — set — that was large with an abundance of couches and armchairs with cushions and blankets and on the other side was the kitchen. It had a huge fridge with a kitchen island and cupboards lining the wall. It wasn’t long after that all of them had been in the room that a producer walked in calling that the presenter would be walking in soon and then runners were there arranging them all so they were all in the right places on the couches for the camera set up. When they almost all disappeared again the doors opened and in walked the presenter.
“Welcome to the blind love experiment. Here you will choose someone to marry without ever seeing them. We live in such a disconnected and distracted world. Your value is often judged solely by the photo on your dating app. But everyone wants to be loved by who they are, not for their race, their background or their income.” Eddie glanced, quickly, at the other contestants to see their reactions. His eyes landed on Buck who was watching the presenter, eyes glued to them as she spoke.
“You’re going to be separated by one thin wall you won’t ever get to see each other ultimately all decisions are yours you choose who you want to spend time with and once you choose the person you want to spend the rest of your life with you’ll propose if they accept you’ll finally get to see your fiance for the very first time. You’re going to leave here together as an engaged couple with a wedding date. You’ll move in together, see your family and friends and in just four weeks you’ll be at your wedding. This is arguably the biggest decision you’ll ever make in your life. Will you say I Do to the person you’ve chosen right here sight unseen or will physical realities in the real world sabotage you and walk away from them forever. You all have to remember the central question: Is love truly blind? If you’re ready to find the love of your life, walk through those doors because the pods are now open.”
Fifteen dates. Seven minutes each for the first day, they all were lined up outside the doors of these ‘pods’ and they had to stand on little marks to get the right shots being told over and over ‘look excited’ and ‘high energy’. Eddie felt like at that moment he’d made a mistake listening to his sisters. Then one of the producers, Eddie, thinks his name was Harry. He wasn't one; he'd talked too much, told them to walk inside. Eddie could feel a buzzing of anxiety under his skin and he stepped forward to the door and opened it. He wasn’t really sure what he expected but he walked into a little room with a couch in the middle it looked cozy with pillows and blankets covering it there was a table in front with a notebook and pen laying on it and a small fridge at the side of the room and on the far wall the couch pointed towards a panel on the wall it was lit up and looked almost like ice.
“Hello?” Eddie isn’t sure why he jumped; he knew he’d be talking to someone else, that was the whole point but somehow it still took him by surprise.
“H-Hi.”
“Welcome to my pod.” The woman’s voice was soft but also clearly nervous.
Eddie half laughed walking over to the couch, “Nice to…hear from you.” Eddie winced at his own words but the woman was nice enough to laugh back. Eddie relaxed a little into the couch, he guessed now was where it began.
“Can you see anything?” Buck touched the wall in front of him. It was clearly plastic but it was uneven under his fingers. He placed his whole hand on the wall. Maybe the person on the other side could see it.
“No.” The response was curt and unimpressed.
“You can’t see anything?” Buck frowned, pressing his hand harder against the wall.
“I’m twenty seven.” Eddie answered the next dates first question, they were being very methodical.
“I’m thirty five.” She said, her tone so neutral Eddie had no idea what she was thinking. “I’ve never dated anyone younger than me.”
“Oh.” Eddie replied.
“Every relationship is different and you kind of have to take things as they come.” She sounded like she was convincing herself more than him.
“Where are you from?”
“Pennsylvania.” Buck said on his seventh first date of the day, he turned on the couch so he was laying back, getting tired. “Um Hershey.”
“Oh.” She sounded excited. “I’ve never met anyone from Hershey before.”
“I’m the only one you’ll ever have to meet.” Buck smiled at his own line.
“I like that.”
Eddie stared at his notebook in front of him trying to memorize this date’s name.
“What are some of your biggest turn offs?”
“Turn offs?” He asked surprised.
“I have a serious question for you about intimacy.”
“Shoot.” Buck shrugged, figuring nothing was off the table even if this was a first date.
“What do you think about dogs in the bed?”
Buck spat out the mouthful of water he’d just taken a sip of; that he hadn’t expected.
“So I’m guessing you're latino?” The next to last date said.
“What?” Eddie frowned.
“From the way you said that.”
Eddie scowled, “We’ve talked for less than a minute and you’re asking what I look like? You’re missing the point.”
“And then it was like a lightbulb went off behind his eyes, you know? He actually understood what I was trying to teach him which was just like…so cool. So, after that, I could never imagine myself doing anything other than teaching you know?…” Buck waited but got no response. “Hello?” He waited another moment. “Hello?”
“So what are you looking for in a woman?” Eddie froze. What was he looking for in a woman? What was he looking for in being here? Eddie wasn’t sure he knew the answer to either.
“I…don’t know.”
Going on a straight dating show while being bisexual was amazing and torturous in equal measure, Buck was learning. On one hand he got to be around unreasonably attractive men and talk to who he assumed were also pretty attractive women all day on the other hand he had to essentially live with fifteen unreasonably attractive men and act like he didn’t know they were all hot. Okay so maybe he was thinking about one of the men in particular he had eyes what was he supposed to do?
“That was the longest day of my life.” Buck complained, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. “Fifteen dates in a day is too many.”
There was a low chuckle behind him and Buck spun around seeing the unreasonably attractive man there also with a bottle of water in hand.
“Considering the last time I had a first date I was a teenager I have to agree.” He smiled looking at Buck and he was pretty sure his brain short circuited. “Not the longest day of my life though.” Eddie smiled again sitting down in one of the chairs at the countertop.
“No?” Buck smiled, taking a step towards him leaning against the counter. “Don’t tell me you’re a surgeon or something?”
“Firefighter.” He said with a small shake of his head.
“No way!” Buck said. “I nearly went to the academy but someone suggested teaching and it kind of stuck.”
“Teacher?” Eddie said. “I can imagine that.”
“I’m Buck by the way.”
“I know.” Eddie glanced at him. “You were the one getting yelled at before we were allowed in here.”
“Oh.” Buck rubbed at the back of his neck. “Yeah. Kinda.”
“I’m Eddie.” Eddie, Buck thought, it suited him. “There’s so many rules.” Eddie rolled his eyes. “Kinda stupid.”
“Didn’t know what you signed up for?”
“My sisters signed me up without telling me.” Eddie sighed, Buck laughed.
“How bad was your dating life that your sisters signed you up for this show?”
“Bad.” Eddie said.
“Wait, did you say you haven’t had a first date since you were in high school?”
Eddie winced, “Told you it was bad.”
“How’d you manage that? How old are you?”
“Twenty seven.” Eddie winced again determinedly not looking at Buck.
“No, I really need to know how a guy that looks like you who’s a firefighter hasn’t had a first date in seven years!”
“More like ten.” Buck’s mouth dropped open. “It’s kinda complicated - I was married for a bit and in the army for a couple years.”
“Oh so you’ve got some angry ex out there that you gotta warn the potential future wife about?” Buck smirked. Eddie’s gaze dropped, his shoulders tightening.
“No.” Eddie said. “She passed away.”
“Oh shit.” Buck said. “Oh my god. I’m so stupid. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…I always do that, open my mouth and don’t know when to shut up. I’m—“
“It’s okay.” Eddie said, looking at him slightly alarmed. “You’re fine. Dying young isn’t normally the first thing people assume. And she was an ex before she died, not so much angry.” He offered Buck a small smile and Buck sighed feeling a little better like he hadn’t ruined a friendship before it had even begun.
“So do you have your list?” Buck held up his paper from the producers; they had to rank their dates from least wanting to see them again to most.
Eddie glanced at him and couldn’t help the laugh spilling from his lips, “Taylor’s your number one?”
“She was fun.” Buck smiled, thinking of their date. “Don’t tell me I’m going to have to compete against you.”
Eddie laughed again showing his own list the top half of which was empty but in dead last was Taylor’s name Buck laughed too.
“Well at least you know who you don’t like.” Buck said. “Don’t have a favourite?”
Eddie shrugged, “I liked talking to a lot of them. I just…I’m not very good at dates. Feel like I’m performing.”
“Oh.” Buck winced, he’d never felt like that on a date, he’d almost always felt like he was in his element. “I had one of the dates walk out of me half way through a story I was telling them.” Eddie froze then looked at Buck. “None of yours could have been that bad.”
“No.” Eddie said slowly, his eyes a little narrowed. “That is so rude.”
Buck shrugged, then turned in the stool to look at the other men in the lounge, “So, which one of these guys do you think is my competition.”
Buck was too busy surveying the room to notice but Eddie was looking at him, his eyes shining in affection after one conversation, “I wouldn’t worry about that.”
The next day when they were all lined up ready for round two of their dates no one really knew how many dates they’d be on today or how long they were going to be. It was a little intimidating, a little scary they’d all heard rumours of who was going to see who on dates but nothing was confirmed until they walked into the pods. Buck glanced down the line of men until he found Eddie catching his eye he gave him a thumbs up and Eddie smiled back, Buck ignored the fluttering feeling in his chest and looked back at the doors just as a producer announced that they could go into the pods.
“So is Buck your first name or your last name?” Emily asked Buck from the other side of the pod. Buck was on his feet during the date he couldn’t sit still in these little dates so he ended up pacing around the room - he probably looked like a psycho but if it meant he could concentrate it had to be better.
“It comes from my last name - Buckley. It’s what my friends call me.” Buck told her.
“Ah - my friends call me Bas. Kind of an army thing.” She said.
“You were in the army?” Buck asked, surprised. “Have you talked to Eddie? He was in the army.”
“Oh.” She said a little surprised he was bringing another date into theirs. “Yeah, I have.”
“You speak Spanish too?” Ana was on the other side of the pod, Eddie liked talking to her and he was surprised how happy he’d been on finding out it was her.
“Ah. A little.” Eddie smiled. “I try to keep up with it but I definitely wouldn’t call myself fluent.”
“I talk to my moms side in Spanish.” She said. “Family is really big for me. I have a lot of Tias and Tios that I’m really close to.”
“Yeah.” Eddie nodded. “I guess, um, this is probably a good time to tell you I have a son.”
The silence made Eddie feel a little apprehensive Christopher was about his only hard line so if no one was open to getting a husband and a step kid Eddie might as well pack his bags now.
“Really?” She sounded almost excited. “How old?”
“He’s eight.”
“Oh my gosh.” She said. “I teach that age.”
“You’re a teacher?” Eddie said. “That’s so cool. Have you talked to Buck much? He’s a teacher too.”
“I really like talking to you Eddie.”
“Yeah, I like um…talking to you too.”
“I like the sound of your voice.” She said. “You sound cute.”
“What is your favourite thing about Taylor?” Buck was back in the men’s lounge Eddie hadn’t come back yet so Buck was only half listening to what anyone was saying his eyes flicking towards the door every few seconds. But at the sound of Taylor’s name he did glance over to the group of men at the end of the table. The man was slouched in his chair his hair was blonde and he’d styled it so spiked up just slightly and with a smirk on his face he said,
“That she likes me.” The men around laughed and Buck tried hard not to roll his eyes. “My ego goes through the roof.”
Buck was saved from having to listen to anymore of their chatter when the door opened and Eddie walked inside. Buck made a beeline over to him and pulled him over to the couches.
“Oh — hey.” Eddie said. “Are you okay?” He said, seeing Buck’s thunderous face.
“I found my competition.” Buck scowled, throwing himself onto one of the couches Eddie glanced in the direction that Buck was looking, seeing the group of men laughing at each other's jokes.
“Which one?” Eddie said, sitting next to him, leaning towards him slightly.
“The one at the end.” Buck frowned. “Matt.”
“He’s not competition.” Eddie brushed it off. “I heard him boasting about his dates yesterday. Asking them if he’d struggle to put them on his shoulder.”
Buck scowled, “Gross.”
“Like why are you here if you’re not going to play along?” Eddie asked.
“Exactly!” Buck said. “You think I should tell Taylor he’s talking about her like this?”
“Honestly?” Eddie asked, Buck nodded. “No.”
“Oh.”
“He’ll probably just use it and turn it around to make you look like a dick. Just talk to her like you have and she’ll work out your miles better than him.” Eddie smiled. “And if she doesn’t she isn’t worth your time.”
“Thanks.” Buck beamed at him.
Eddie nodded, “So I take it your date today must have gone well. Still your number one?”
Buck smiled, ducking his head, “Yeah. It was fun. Did you have fun today?”
“Yeah.” Eddie nodded. “I um…” He gulped, glancing around. “I told her I have a kid.”
Buck stilled then looked at Eddie, “You have a kid?”
Eddie nodded, unable to keep the smile off his face at the mention of him, “Not being able to contact him is kind of killing me.”
Buck smiled, “I love kids.”
Eddie sighed, “I love this one. I nearly backed out the day before coming here but he said he wanted me to go and he’s with my sister so…I know he’s fine.”
“How old?” Buck asked.
“Eight.” Eddie said. He was still well aware they were filming them so he didn’t want to talk about Christopher too much just in case they decided to use it. He wanted to keep Christopher’s privacy as much as possible but it felt weird not letting Buck know that vital piece of information about him. Which was weird because he’d literally met Buck yesterday.
By day four their dates had whittled down to only a few dates a day that could last hours. They were long and draining days but it was interesting to get to know people this way, Buck felt like he knew these people without ever having seen them. Eddie definitely liked getting to know the person before there were any physical expectations but there was a niggling feeling at the back of his head that this was still just wrong, wrong, wrong.
“Hello? Who am I speaking to?”
“Buck.” He could hear the smile in her voice. “What a pleasant surprise. I was hoping it was you.”
“Taylor.” Buck said, leaning back against the couch he was sitting on. “Right? I’ve not just totally got that wrong?”
“No, no it’s me.” Then a laugh. “Can you imagine?”
“I’m glad it was you.” Buck told her. “I wrote in my notebook; I put a little star by your name because I liked our conversation. I wanted it to continue.”
“Really?” She asked. “It’s easy to talk to you, Buck. It’s fluid, I like your energy.”
“Thanks. So, um, tell me about your job, what do you do?”
“I’m a weather reporter at the moment hoping to get into journalism.” She said.
“Huh.” Buck nodded, trying not to think that this might have just been a good opportunity to get her name out there rather than actually looking for love. “I’m a science teacher, maybe you could come by for a meteorologist lesson.”
She laughed again, light and sweet, “I’m more the journalistic side but does that mean you’re thinking of seeing me outside of this already?”
“Maybe.” Buck smiled. “Is it weird to think about having a fiance?”
Taylor laughed, “Kind of. It’s a big change for me. I've never been the settling down type.”
“No?” Buck asked. “Why did you come here then?”
“I wanted to change my life.” Taylor told him, honestly. “Are you ready to change your life Buck?” Buck couldn’t tell you why and was even a little surprised by it himself but as soon as those words had left her mouth Buck had an instant picture in his head of Eddie.
The longer dates were draining but it did mean they got to talk about everything and Eddie was sure the feelings would come, if everything on paper made sense the loving feelings would come when he saw her. He was sure it would.
“I find myself thinking about you throughout the day.”
“Really?” Eddie asked. “When you're on other dates?”
Ana laughed, “I know it’s a little crazy but I really like you Eddie.”
“I like you too.”
“Do you want more kids?”
“Yes.” Eddie said easily. “I missed out a lot when my son was young and I was stationed in Afghanistan. I’d love to get to experience that and I think Chris would love to be a big brother.”
“I love the way you talk about him.” Ana smiled.
“When would you want kids?” Eddie asked her, a squirming feeling in his gut telling him to run, he’d felt this before with Shannon, he was ignoring it for now but Eddie wasn’t sure how long that would last.
“I don’t know.” Ana said. “A couple years at least.”
“Have a few years married first?” He laughed, it still always felt surreal to talk about weddings and marriage and husbands and wives knowing it was possibly only a few weeks away.
“Exactly.” Ana said her voice was soft and warm and he enjoyed talking to her, he liked talking to her. “I guess this is pretty early to say but you’re top of my list, Eddie.”
Something squirmed deep inside Eddie at the words he should be happy about that, he knew that, but he just couldn’t feel it. This had always been his issue: women flirted with him, probably more than usual in his line of work, and he just never felt anything.
“That’s…so nice.” Eddie winced at his own words. “You…you too.” He felt bile at the back of his throat. It wasn’t a lie…not technically. Out of all the people he’d talked to here she was the one it was easiest to do so, conversation flowed, she made him laugh but still something just didn’t quite feel right. Eddie had no idea why he could never feel it even when everything aligned so perfectly.
Maybe he was just broken.
It hadn’t taken long to narrow down his list, which he found somewhat degrading, having to list the women he’s talked to everyday but he guessed they were all doing it so it wasn’t quite as bad. Most of them had been pretty far down his list straight away, especially Taylor they’d barely shared two words and he didn’t think either of them were interested in continuing the date. Which was good because she was top of Buck’s list and he thought if he and Buck had the same woman at the top of their lists it would have killed him a little bit. He would think about how that made him feel more than any of his dates but he didn’t have time for that right now.
“Here.” Buck walked over to Eddie putting a plate of food in front of him, Eddie smiled at Buck.
“What’s this?” Eddie asked.
“Dinner.” Buck said, putting his own plate down next to Eddie and then walking around the counter to sit next to him.
“You made me dinner?” Eddie asked, flipping his notebook closed, smiling at Buck as he sat down. “That’s so nice. Thank you.”
Buck shrugged, “It’s easier to make two portions. Don’t thank me til you’ve tried it.” Eddie chuckled then took a mouthful of the pasta then looked at Buck.
“Thank you.”
Buck smiled, “How were your dates?”
“I only saw Ana.” Eddie told him, he tapped his fork against his bowl thinking of his day and the date and the feelings he couldn’t place. “It was…nice.”
“So it’s Ana or nothing then?” Buck said. “You think she’d be a good stepmom?”
“I know she would.” Eddie said easily. “That’s the least of my problems.”
“Then what are your problems?” Buck asked him, leaning closer. Eddie looked at him and wondered if he would be this comfortable if he and Ana cooked and ate dinner together, he wondered why as soon as there was any kind of romantic pressure he just wanted to bolt.
“Too many to list. How was your date?”
“Good.” Buck beamed, Eddie’s stomach squirmed, his chest pounded and liked and hated the feeling in equal measure. Before Buck could elaborate the door to the lounge burst open and Matt walked in he held his arms open wide and loudly proclaimed.
“Get out the champagne!” The other men, bar Eddie and Buck, flocked to him asking question and question pandering to his need for attention. “I asked her to be my girlfriend.”
“She said yes?”
“Duh.” Matt sauntered over to the fridge shooting a look at Buck as he walked past, Eddie glowered at the man as he yanked open the fridge and pulled out a bottle. Eddie noted that it was not actually champagne.
“What the hell?” Buck said under his breath.
“Don’t react.” Eddie said, waiting until Matt had moved off to the other group to share the bottle around.
“She said yes?” Buck frowned looking at Eddie. “We had a great date! She said she was hoping it was me. Why would she say that and then say yes to being his girlfriend?”
“Maybe she got caught up in the moment?” Eddie offered.
“Fuck.” Buck sighed. “She’s gonna pick him.”
“Come on.” Eddie nudged his arm. “There’s no way she can talk to you for an hour and then talk to him for an hour and pick him.”
Buck faltered and then looked at Eddie and smiled, “That’s really sweet Eddie.”
Eddie closed his eyes knowing, and hating, his cheeks were burning red, “He’s just an asshole Buck.”
Buck smiled then looked back over at Matt and it dropped off his face the reality of his situation slamming into him, the fear of not being chosen, not being enough once again.
“Please distract me.” Buck winced, looking away from Matt and his group of guys. “What’s up with you and Ana?”
“I don’t know. Everything should be perfect, she makes me laugh, I make her laugh, we have things in common, beliefs and goals and there’s something in me that just…isn’t there. Pretty sure something’s wrong with me.”
Buck asked, “You think it’s because of your wife?”
“Can you tell me about your wife?”
“Ex-wife.” Eddie corrected. Dani stood behind the camera looking at him, Eddie liked her. She seemed to actually care about all the participants but Eddie had to remind himself that she was still a producer, she was doing a job, writing a story. Eddie also found the daily interview pick ups awkward but he did sign up for this so he was getting a little more used to them. This however, Shannon, left so out of bounds he didn’t know what to say. “Do we have to talk about this?”
“You know we do Eddie.” She said, “Tell me about your ex-wife Eddie.”
“We met in high school at a lake by my parents house.” Eddie said. “She was…magnetic and charismatic and people liked being around her and…I liked being around her. I kind of always felt like I was just watching my life happen around me but when I was with her things kind of slowed down. We had a lot of problems when we were married but we were better as friends.” He could feel the tears burning in his eyes and he hated that it still brought him to tears. Especially in front of a camera. “I think we were always supposed to be friends. The best thing that ever came out of our relationship was our son. He’s the best thing I’ve ever done.”
“Do you miss her?” Dani prompted. Eddie knew that’s what she was doing.
“I do miss her.” Eddie said. “But mostly for my son.”
“I just don’t understand? We were good. We were great! I come out of our date and it feels like we’re both on the same page and now she’s someone’s girlfriend?” Buck was ranting at Harry, his producer, and the camera he was in front of. “Do I get to talk to her again? Do I just…never see her?”
“You’ll get to talk to her, Buck.” He said calmly. “How did it feel when Matt came in?”
“Like a punch to the gut.” Buck sighed. “I really like her. I thought I…I really did see us leaving this place together. Is that too fast?” He paused, then laughed. “What am I saying? This is the show for fast right?” Harry smiled at him. “I’m really glad Eddie was there. I probably would have done something crazy stupid if Eddie hadn’t been there. I can still talk to him when we finish, right?”
Harry looked at him, “We don’t tell you who you can and can’t talk to.”
“Oh right.” Buck nodded. “Yeah, yeah. Of course. What um…What else should I say?”
Eddie stood in front of the door, tomorrow was engagement day, there was like a buzz of excitement around the men’s living area Eddie wished he could join in. He wished he could feel ten percent of the elation that seemed to be simmering between the men but all Eddie could feel was an overwhelming dread. He looked down until he saw Buck who didn’t look much better than he felt. He gave him a questioning look Buck shrugged and Eddie could only offer a sympathetic smile back. Then they were told to enter the pods and the anxiety hit him all over again. He stepped through the door hoping this wouldn’t be as bad as he was expecting it to be.
He sat on the couch, his arms crossed over his chest defensively as he waited for some sign that she was here, “Eddie?”
“Hey Ana.” Eddie said, gripping his hands onto his biceps. “How was your night?”
“Good.” She sounded like she was smiling, god Eddie hated this. “I thought about you a lot.”
“You did?” Eddie said, surprised.
“Yeah.” She said, “How are you feeling?”
Eddie got to his feet the anxiety burning through him at the thought of this conversation but his mind was made up and if he wasn’t a hundred per cent committed he couldn’t and wouldn’t propose. Still, having to tell Ana that was kind of killing him.
“Ana, I…” His voice wavered. “I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you. You’re so easy to talk to, I liked our conversations and I really—I think we could have been really good friends.”
“Friends?”
“I’m sorry.” Eddie closed his eyes. “I’m so sorry. I just…I can’t, Ana.”
“You want to stop?” Ana said, the words caught in her throat.
“I really thought this would work.” He gripped his arms. “I thought I’d start to feel sure or…something. I really did.”
“But you don’t?”
“I don’t.” Eddie said. “I wish I did.”
“And that’s it? That’s all you can tell me?”
“I’m really sorry.”
“I’m sorry too.” She said, “I don’t want you to not be sure. I don’t want you to settle. I don’t want it for me and I don’t want it for you. You’re a good man, Eddie, I hope you know that.”
Eddie wasn’t sure. He waited until the silence had stretched too long, sure she’d already vacated her pod and then stood up walking out and back into the men’s lounge. It was empty, all the other men still on their dates and would be for hours yet. He sat down on one of the couches barely noticing when someone sat next to him.
“We can get you back in the pods.” It was Dani, Eddie couldn’t look at her. “If you think you’ll regret this.”
“I don’t.”
“Why don’t you just see how it goes?” She suggested. “You don’t have to actually commit to anything.”
“I’d be engaged.” Eddie frowned at her.
“You’ve got time at the couples retreat and then when you’re living together.” Eddie shook his head. “You don’t want to give up now before you even try.” Eddie kept shaking his head. “Why don’t you at least meet her? Maybe seeing her will give you that confirmation that you’re looking for? You’ve never dated like this, just give it a chance Eddie.”
“I’m not going back in those pods.” Eddie told her. “Sorry, but I can’t give her hope when I just…I don’t feel it.”
“And what if you regret it?”
“I’ll just add it to my list of regrets.”
Buck nibbled against his nail as he waited for Taylor he could hear Maddie’s voice in his head telling him to stop but he kept chewing and waiting.
“Are you still here?” Buck asked after the silence felt like it lasted minutes.
“I never said yes.” Taylor said. “When he asked me to be his girlfriend. I never said I would.”
“He seemed to think otherwise.”
“You’re going to believe him over me?” Taylor asked.
“I didn’t say that.” Buck told her. “But it’s hard when he bursts into the lounge saying I’ve got a girlfriend.”
“Then I’ll have to talk to him.” Taylor said. “What do I have to do, Buck? Whatever I have to do to prove to you I'm fully focused on you I will do it.”
“Really?” Buck doubted.
“You’re my priority.” Taylor said. “You’re my…you’re who I want.”
“Then I believe you.” Buck told her. “You’re my priority too.”
“Can you see us leaving here together?” She asked. “I never really wanted to be a wife.”
“I can see why you signed up for this show then.” Buck joked.
She laughed, the sound eased Buck’s anxieties immediately he leant back on the couch, “Yeah, I know. I’m complex.”
“Clearly.” Buck nodded. “So what made you come here?”
“I don’t know.” She said. “It just sounded interesting and one thing led to another and here I am talking to you.”
“I’m glad you’re here Taylor.” He said.
“I’m glad you’re here too, Buck.”
“And I’m glad you didn’t say yes.” Buck said. “If you’re going to be a girlfriend I really didn’t want it to be Matt’s.”
Taylor giggled, Buck’s chest pounded. Was this what it was like to be in love, he wondered. He’d been searching for it for so long but was this…Was this it?
Eddie was exhausted. He couldn’t ever remember being this tired.
Okay, so that was an exaggeration; he’s used to twenty four hour shifts, he had a young son…he was used to being tired. But this was a different kind of tired, an emotional tired, a talking for hours on end tired.
Buck dropped onto the couch next to him. It was just him and Buck in the lounge all the other men had been escorted to the hotel by production staff. Buck and Eddie hadn’t left yet. Eddie wasn’t sure why Buck hadn’t gone back yet but Eddie knew when he was leaving it was for good so he was just waiting for Buck to leave but until then he was going to enjoy any time he had with Buck who knew if he wanted to be friends outside of here.
“Can’t wait to get my phone back.” Buck told him.
“Yeah.” Eddie said. “I can’t wait to talk to Chris.”
“Yeah.” Buck looked at him smiling. “How’d your date go?”
Eddie looked at Buck then glanced around the room, letting out a slow breath, “Not great.” Buck looked at him. “We broke up…I guess? If that’s what it's called when you haven’t even seen the person.”
“Why?”
Eddie shrugged, “The last is tomorrow right?” He said. “So we’ve either got to break up or get engaged and I just…wasn’t there. I don’t know if I ever will be. I thought it could work, you know? Be friends first because you’re just talking all day but…it’s just…something isn’t there. I don’t feel it.”
“Are you comparing it to your wife because it won’t be the same.” Buck said.
“No.” Eddie shook his head slowly. “It’s not like we had a perfect relationship. I don’t know if I felt it with her either, we were so young and there was so much going on and we were apart more than we were together. I don’t know if I’ve ever really…felt that…thing, you know?”
Buck shoulders slumped, “That sucks! We were supposed to go on this couples retreat together.” Buck said, hitting Eddie’s knee gently. “Now who am I supposed to hang out with?”
“You’re proposing?” Eddie asked, only half surprised. He wasn’t sure why his chest felt tight but he put it down to only talking to the woman his friend was planning on spending forever with for only seven minutes.
“I don’t know.” Buck said. “Matt lied. She said she didn’t say yes to being his girlfriend.”
“That’s good.” Eddie said.
“I was talking to Harry earlier and he said it’s not a commitment to get to the end. He said at least try and maybe seeing them will give you more time to…know, you know?
“Yeah, Dani suggested the same thing but I just don’t think I can do it.” Eddie said. “But you seem way more sure about Taylor.”
“Yeah.” Buck nodded. Then faltered. “Kind of what I do though.” His shoulders slumped. “Find myself in the middle of a relationship with no idea how I got there.”
“Who does that?” Eddie glanced at Buck and they both burst out laughing.
“You’re as bad as me.” Buck smiled, leaning towards him.
“Worse.” Eddie shook his head.
“Shut up.” Buck nudged him. “You’re charming. I’ve seen it first hand. I’ve also talked to all the same women you have here and bar Taylor they were all gushing over you.”
Eddie turned his head looking at Buck, “No way.”
“I’m serious!”
“There’s no way they were on a date with you and they were talking about me.” Eddie told him. Buck didn’t say anything, just looked at Eddie with a soft smile and, honestly, Eddie couldn’t remember the next few seconds like he’d totally blacked out but the next thing he remembered his lips were on Buck’s, his hand cupping Buck’s face, who was for some reason kissing him back. Eddie couldn’t remember ever feeling like this when kissing his body felt hot, his chest restricted and his heart pounded. He wanted to kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss until he passed out.
Then reality slammed into him—
"I...er..."
All at once Eddie realised what he'd done and jerked back from Buck toppling off the couch and jumping to his feet he took a few steps away from Buck.
“Whoa.” Buck breathed out. His eyes were a little dazed and then it registers on his face what just happened. “Oh.”
“I-I-I-I—"
“Hey—um, it's okay."
"S-s-sorry." Eddie stuttered out the word. "I didn't...I don't...Sorry."
"Hey, Eddie, come on. It's fine." Buck told him, reaching out.
“You’re—you’re um...proposing." Eddie gulped, his hands were shaking, realising how truly awful this was. How badly he’d fucked up. "Tomorrow. Oh god."
"I am." Buck nodded, his eyes still glued to Eddie. His head dizzy from the kiss, his heart slamming in his chest. His skin felt ablaze with heat that he hadn't really ever felt from a kiss before. Was it because he had all these pent up feelings from dating without anything physical happening, because he's not blind and he definitely had at least a little crush on him or just from the surprise that Eddie kissed him. "Tomorrow. Taylor."
He couldn't form actual sentences in his mind let alone out loud. But the things Eddie had just been talking about made a lot more sense with the additional context that maybe he was looking at the wrong gender. His heart hurt a little for Eddie and the look on his face wasn't helping. He wanted to say it was fine and maybe kiss him again because it was the best thing Buck had ever done but he was supposed to propose to Taylor the next day. Maybe? Talk to her at least.
"I should go." Eddie stepped backwards.
"Wait!" Buck said, jumping to his feet. He opened his mouth and then closed it, opened and closed. "Are you okay?" He found himself saying.
Eddie didn't say a word, breathing hard, he stepped backwards then turned walking away. Buck stood watching him leave the lounge area, walk as fast and far away as possible. Buck wanted to follow him and at the same time never see him again. He wanted to kiss Eddie again and spend the rest of their lives together and he wanted to never have to face what just happened at the same time. He wanted to wrap Eddie up and never let him question himself again and he wanted to ignore that that had ever happened.
He dropped back onto the couch, closing his eyes. He reached up slowly and touched his bottom lip. All he could see was Eddie's wide brown eyes and all he could feel was Eddie's lips against his.
Eddie's legs moved and he had no idea where he was going but he needed to get out, out, out. "Eddie! Eddie!" He didn't remember Dani walking up to him but she was in front of him, gripping onto his arms and getting him to breathe. He wasn't breathing? Why wasn't he breathing? "Come on." She led him outside and straight into a car that would normally take him to the hotel.
"I need to go." Eddie said. "I need my phone."
"Hold on." She said. "Let's take a second."
"No, I need to go." Eddie told her. "I need to go home."
"You've got one day left." She said. "Let's take you back to the hotel, take the night and then you can finish your—“
"I can't. I..." He looked at her, his chest felt tight with panic, a headache quickly coming on. "Was that...filmed?"
"Oh we'd never air that." She said quickly. "Don't worry about that Eddie. Take my word for it okay?"
His breathing eased a bit at that, "Can I please go home?" He asked vaguely, remembering signing a document that mentioned a fine if you left before they wanted you too.
She looked at him and recognising a losing battle she nodded.
Eddie took a moment and then looked at her his eyes were watery and he willed the tears to go away, "He's going to marry her isn't he?"
Dani opened her mouth. Eddie shook his head leaning back against the car seat.
"Don't answer that. I just want to go home."
Buck looked around the 'living quarters' the next morning. They were all taken here from the hotel separately so they couldn't talk to each other, in case something happened that they wanted filming. But it meant they all arrived at different times and so far no Eddie. He needed to talk to Eddie before he talked to Taylor.
But he also knew once they were all here there wasn't a lot of time to talk so he really needed Eddie to walk through the door soon. He knew all the men here wouldn’t be proposing today and whoever was getting dates was solely for whatever storyline they’d already worked out. But they needed the room full for the celebratory scenes when they came back from a successful proposal. He’d already been given the full speech from a production assistant. Buck could barely concentrate on the words however his head was going; Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
When a filming assistant told him to follow him to the pods for the final date, i.e. propose or break up.
“Eddie’s not here.” Buck said, looking around quickly in case he’d somehow missed him.
“He’s left.”
A cold feeling of dread overwhelmed Buck. He hadn't let himself think about this option but deep down he knew it was possible and now this man — boy, he could only just be out of his teens — was telling him Eddie was gone.
“Let’s get you to the pods and you and Taylor can—“
“No. I need to talk to Eddie first.” Buck told him. “I…I can’t.”
He looked at Buck a little confused, he guessed they hadn’t told everyone on the crew what happened, well that was good at least, “Um…You can’t?” He’d obviously been told something in the radio in his ear because a second later he was telling Buck to follow him out into the corridor where Harry and another producer, assistant, runner…? Another crew member stood.
“I’m not doing it!” Buck said as soon as he saw Harry. “I’m not going to talk to Taylor until I can talk to Eddie.”
“Buck.” Harry said he was calm and reached a hand to Buck’s shoulder to stop him walking back and forth. “Don’t worry about Eddie. Worry about yourself.”
“I am. I want to talk to him.” Buck argued. “I have too. I can’t propose and not…”
Know. Why he kissed him, if he meant it, what that meant. If, maybe, possibly, that meant—No. He loved Taylor. He was sure he loved Taylor.
But Eddie…he never thought it was even in the realm of possibility.
“Taylor is waiting for you. Everyone knows what today is.” Buck looked at Harry, guilt slamming into him. Taylor was waiting, a whole team of people were waiting and he was freaking out in an empty corridor because of one kiss. Amazing, incredible, life changing kiss.
“I—I—I d-don’t…”
“Look, take a breath,” Harry said. “It’s okay. Don’t forget you’re not committed to anything, yeah?”
“I’m meant to propose!”
“Just go on the vacation, see what it’s like knowing her, living with her and go from there.”
Buck looked at him with his eyes wide in confusion and pressure and stress but he really only had one choice so he let Harry lead him down to the filming corridor outside the pods, gave him a signal and Buck walked inside. He walked over to the couch and sat down on it heavily forcing the memory from last night out of his head.
“Buck?” Taylor’s voice was hesitant, unsure. Buck wasn’t sure he'd ever heard it sound like that.
“Good morning, beautiful!” Buck winced as soon as it left his mouth, overcompensating just a little.
“Morning.” She said he could hear the relief in her voice.
“How are you?”
“I’m feeling amazing.” She replied. “You know I broke it off with Matt yesterday after we talked.”
“You did?” Buck said surprised. Yesterday he would have been elated, yesterday he would have been thrilled but that was before Eddie had kissed him and span his whole world around. Before when he thought his feelings were a harmless, unrequited crush, not now when he was doing anything not to think about Eddie, when all he wanted was to do it again.
“I told you, you were my priority.”
“Wow. That’s…wow.”
“So how are you feeling?” Taylor asked. “About our differences?”
Buck thought about it, it was an easy out he could tell her he thought they were just too different and leave and never meet her. But the pressure he felt knowing what Taylor was expecting, from what the producers and everyone around him had been saying, from putting Eddie at arms length not knowing what was going on in his head.
“I’ll never find my perfect person. Where everything aligns and makes sense.” Buck told her. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t l-love you.” He faltered on the word.
“You want to risk it?”
“Does it feel like a risk?” Buck asked her.
“Yes.” She laughed. “We’ve never met face to face.”
“There’s only one way to change that.” Buck said beginning to feel a little more comfortable with his decision, like it was right. The more he thought about it the more it made sense. “Will you marry me?”
“Yes.” She breathed out. “I will.”
“Oh my god.”
“Are you excited to see me?”
A sudden feeling of dread took over but he shook it off a moment later, “I’m s-so excited.” His voice shook. He hoped if she heard it she thought it was from excitement and not fear.
“I’ll see you.”
“Yeah.” But nodded. “I’ll see you.”
The studio they’d been filming in was less than an hour from where he lived, part of the reason he agreed to do this, if something happened with Chris he’d be able to get to him in less than an hour. Still driving home after everything that had just happened, having multiple producers and eventually even the creator of the show trying to convince him to stay one last day, the threat of the fine hanging over his head being spoken, heavy on every word they said without actually saying anything. He couldn’t think too hard about what would happen if they actually fined him but they let him leave and now he was finally pulling up into his drive, next to his sister's car who had been watching Chris. He couldn’t wait to see him, hug him, smell the unmistakable scent that was his son. But it was way too late for that so it would have to wait until tomorrow morning.
He killed the engine, yanked his keys out and slipped out the door. He walked to the door and was only half surprised to see Sophia waiting, the door open for him.
“Hey.” He said tiredly.
“It’s so late.” She frowned. “What happened?”
Eddie opened his mouth and then closed it not knowing what to say or how to say it. She must have sensed that it was more than it didn’t work out so she let him walk inside without saying another word. She made them both a coffee thinking it would be a long night and they both sat on the couch without another word.
“Adriana’s asleep too.” Sophia said, breaking the silence. Sophia had moved to LA, staying with Abuela, as soon as she’d finished high school while Eddie was overseas. After his second tour, after Shannon had left, after his parents had squashed out nearly every drop of his self esteem as a father Sophia called him out of the blue and suggested he come out here too. Eddie told her about being accepted into their fire academy and he and Chris were packing up the car the next week. As soon as Adriana was looking at colleges she’d soon followed them out enrolling at UCLA. She was in her second year and would often crash at Eddie’s if she wasn’t at the dorms. Sophia had her own apartment but had been staying at Eddie’s while looking after Chris.
Eddie nodded, he looked at her and blurted out, “I kissed a guy.”
Sophia choked on her coffee spitting a bit back into her mug, she turned to look at him, “Are you okay?”
“I-I-I don’t know why.” Eddie said. “I’d broken up with Ana. She was so nice and funny and good with kids, a teacher, and…and perfect! And I was terrified. The thought of meeting her and…I panicked. I was talking about it with Buck that evening and it just…happened.”
“How did it feel?” Sophia asked. Eddie looked at her, eyes wide. They filled with tears suddenly and he gasped a little, understanding settled over Sophia immediately. “Oh Eddie.” Sophia reached out, kindly squeezing his wrist. “I love you. No matter what, you know that right?” Eddie opened his mouth and closed it, not knowing what to say. “Can I tell you a secret?” Eddie inclined his head. “I’ve actually always wanted a gay sibling.” Eddie opened his mouth, then burst out laughing. “I would have bet on Adriana but you work too.” Eddie wiped at the corner of his eyes and tears slipped out.
“Thanks. Love you too but I don’t…I don’t know what or—or…”
“You don’t have too.” Sophia promised him. “You don’t owe anyone anything.”
Eddie nodded, adrenaline still pumped through him he breathed in and out a few times trying to slow his pounding heart.
“So?” Sophia prompted.
“What?” Eddie asked.
“Who is the guy? What’s he like? Are you going to see him again?”
A chill fell over Eddie as he remembered once again where Buck was right now, his heart dropping, stomach twisting, he dropped his gaze, “He’s getting married.”
The loud blaring of Eddie’s alarm woke him and he rolled over onto the other side of the bed breathing in the scent of the pillow before he pushed himself up and kicked his legs over the side. He picked his phone up to check the time and was forcefully reminded that today was Love Is Blind premiere drop day, the first six episodes were now on streaming for the whole world to see, his home screen was filled with notification mostly notably from Instagram where he’d already gained eight thousand new followers.
“Whoa.” He breathed out. He’d been forced to make his account public when they’d announced him as part of the 30 new ‘singles’ for this season. He’d purged his account from any sign of Christopher and reluctantly un-privated his account he scowled at all the notifications and made a mental note to find out how to stop getting all these notifications but there was no time right now because he had to get him and Christopher up, fed and to school and work on time.
“No pancakes?” Chris’ face scrunched up when he came into the kitchen and saw the bowl of cereal on the table.
“Not today bud.” Eddie said. “Soon.” He promised.
They ate breakfast Chris telling Eddie, in incredible detail, on how human lungs work Eddie smiled as Christopher spoke. Then Eddie got his work bag and Christopher’s school bag in the car while Christopher brushed his teeth and then they were on the way.
“Can’t wait to watch you!” Eddie double took at the shout across the yard as he walked with Chris towards the school entrance. Eddie smiled, a little awkwardly, at her and kept walking with Chris.
“I’ll see you later.” Eddie said, bending down and hugging him. “Pepa’s picking you up and will stay with you til I get home tomorrow. Love you, bud.”
“Love you dad.” Eddie felt Christopher squeeze his arms around his neck then let go and walked through the entrance. Eddie watched until he couldn’t see him and then turned to go back to his truck. Across the street a poster took over nearly an entire wall, a purple background with gold glittery letters spelling out the words ‘Love Is Blind’.
Eddie scrolled through his hundreds of messages after messages as he’d walked into the firehouse, between waking up and getting to work he’d gained another few thousand followers.
“There he is!” He looked up seeing Hen walking out of the changing rooms already in full uniform. “Our TV star.” Eddie rolled his eyes as he walked towards her. “Your face was on our Netflix home screen this morning.”
“My face?” Eddie asked, a little surprised.
“Yeah, they didn’t tell you, you were one of the chosen ones to advertise the show on the main screen?”
Eddie gave her a look, “Do they tell me anything?”
“It’s probably because you’re so pretty.” Hen smiled, her voice full of teasing. “Better get changed. We bought a cake to celebrate.” She headed up the stairs as Eddie walked into the changing rooms. He dropped his bag in his locker, quickly got changed and then walked upstairs. There was a chorus of cheers as soon as he got there and a large sheet cake sat in the middle of the table with a picture of his promo image the official account had posted a few weeks ago to reveal the new cast. Underneath it there were three words that spelled out; Single? Married? Gay.
He looked up at Hen and Ravi who were standing next to each other looking incredibly happy with themselves. He gave them an eye roll but was smiling all the same, Bobby gave him a pat on the back as he walked over to the table.
“The chief sent an email saying he was glad of the PR.” Bobby smiled at him. “And hopes you didn’t do anything the department disapproves of.”
Eddie looked a little stunned and winced, “Depends on what they think is disappointing.”
“Oh you’ll be fine.” Bobby smiled at him. “Me and Athena can’t wait to watch.”
“Great.” Eddie nodded, hoping more than ever that he’d been way too boring to feature much in this season but knowing that was wishful thinking.
“Buck.” A knock on the door accompanied Buck’s name being called and when he didn’t answer another. “Buck!” And then the door swung open and Maddie walked inside. “You need to get up.” Buck groaned from under his covers. “Come on.” She marched over and yanked off his covers.
“Just leave me here to suffer.” Buck said.
Maddie rolled her eyes, “You’re so dramatic. How are you suffering?”
Buck pushed himself up on the bed, “I’m not allowed to give any spoilers so for the next three weeks while the show’s coming out I have to stay here.” Buck groaned.
“You’re so sweet.” She smiled.
“Boston.” Buck groaned.
“I thought you’d be glad to spend some time with your niece at least.”
Buck scowled standing up, “You know that’s not what I meant. I miss my home.”
“Buck, it’s been like two days.” Maddie said.
“Everyone’s going to see.” He whispered the last part.
“You didn’t do anything.” Maddie told him, Buck looked at her. “It’s a few weeks and then everyone will forget.” She shrugged. “Now, you’ve got Jee for the day and there’s a list on the fridge of things I need you to get from the store.”
“You want me to go out?” Buck asked, horrified.
Maddie sighed, “I bet if you go you’ll see that nobody really cares about a reality show.” She turned on her heel and left the bedroom. Buck sighed, dropping back onto the bed he picked up his phone he’d turned off all notifications last night so he didn’t see anything on his screen but his curiosity won out so he opened up Instagram seeing he had fifty new messages and thousands of new followers.
“Whoa.” He breathed out, he closed the app. His mind easily slid to Eddie and wondered what he was doing right now.
Buck waited as long as he possibly could before leaving the house with Jee to get the groceries. Which in retrospect just gave people more time to watch an episode or two but in actuality he did the whole shop without anyone saying anything to him he went down each aisle getting the items Maddie requested. He walked towards the checkouts. Normally Buck wouldn’t have even noticed the magazines and tabloids stacked at the end of the aisle but normally those magazines didn’t have Eddie’s smiling face on the front cover. He reached out and picked it up slowly. There were two other members of the cast next to Eddie’s picture with the words ‘Meet the new singles’ splashed under their image. He imagined Eddie’s face if he knew that he was one of chosen images to advertise the new season and he smiled at the thought of the eye roll. Buck wasn't sure why but he found himself placing the magazine in his cart before moving towards the checkouts.
“You look so familiar.” The girl dazedly looked up at Eddie as he pushed the gurney she was strapped to into the ambulance. Eddie didn’t say anything but Hen happily stepped in after her and said,
“Do you like reality TV?”
The girl let out a little squeak of recognition, her head snapped up so she could still keep track of him, her jaw dropping a little.
“Oh my god. Do you get married?” Eddie slammed the doors of the ambulance closed before she could say another word.
“Edwards!” Bobby called out. “Drive the ambulance.”
“On it.” He jumped up and ran towards the vehicle. Eddie looked at Bobby gratefully.
“Looked like you could use a reprieve.” He smiled kindly.
“Thank you.” Eddie said. He, and the rest of the team, headed back into the engine and to the station.
“Are you really not allowed to tell anyone if you're single or if you got married or anything?” Ravi frowned as they drove back.
“Not publicly.” Eddie said. “It’s not that big of a deal for me because I never got past the pods but…” He paused thinking of Buck for a moment. “It’s harder if you did.”
“What happens if you did?”
“In our contracts you can be fined up to fifty thousand dollars.”
“Fuck.”
“You have to read the small print, Eddie.” Bobby commented from up front.
“I knew about it going in.” Eddie said. “I just didn’t realise how much it covered, all the…ramifications and for how long.”
“They own you.” Ravi teased. Eddie turned to look at him with a grimace on his face. “Although, the cupcakes that actual Netflix sent us were very good.” Ravi said looking at his phone. “Besides, you’ve gained like over ten thousand followers.”
“How do you know that?” Eddie scowled, Ravi shook his phone at him.
“You think I wasn’t going to check your follower count?” He scoffed. “This lady in your comment section said that is a face you go to war for.” Eddie ignored his teasing. “This person asked what your workout regime is because, and I quote, you could bounce anything off that ass—hey!” Ravi complained as Eddie lunged and stole his phone away from him, Ravi made moves to try and get it back but Eddie didn’t play fair and threw it across to the furthest seat away.
“Ravi.” Bobby sighed long sufferingly. “Do not unbuckle yourself to get your phone.”
“He threw it!”
“He was on my account!”
“You gained ten thousand followers everyone’s on your account!”
“Stop it.” Bobby called back as they pulled into the station.
“I call it if there’s any cupcakes left!” Ravi yelled jumping from his seat, grabbing his phone and climbing out of the rig first. Eddie grumbled as he followed him out but by the time they’d changed and got up to the loft they found a whole load of new deliveries had been made.
“Free stuff.” Ravi smiled making his way through the boxes.
“Pretty sure they have my name on it.” Eddie commented.
“Are you going to open them?” Ravi asked, Eddie rolled his eyes, Ravi smiled and started to open the packages while Eddie went to make some coffees. “Hey this is cool!” Ravi called to him, reading from the note on the gift package. “For more representation of Mexican Americans. It’s a whole bunch of clothes. Way too cool for you.”
“Way too cool for you either.” Hen said as she appeared up the stairs back from having dropped the patient off. “You play frolf. I will be taking the clothes.” She smiled.
“Like they fit you.” Ravi frowned.
“Like they fit you either.” She rolled her eyes.
Before either one of them could say another word the TV all caught their attention as pop culture news took over,
“And the new season has a Love is Blind first as they revealed a gay kiss in the last episode of the new season drop.” Eddie stared at the screen as it showed the clip of him and Buck kissing, the moment he’d replayed in his head countless times, the moment they’d promised not to include. “You’ll have to wait until the next drop of episodes next Wednesday to see how it all plays out.”
Eddie blinked at the TV, he could feel all the eyes on him and knew without them saying a thing that the teasing would be over and as if on cue his phone exploded with notifications.
“I am not straight!” Buck yelled at his phone. “Why does everyone think I’m straight?”
“Didn’t you think you were straight until a couple years ago?” Chimney pointed out moving around the kitchen making breakfast for Jee, and begrudgingly Buck.
“Okay?” Buck scowled. “And? Do I not give off bisexual energy?”
Chimney froze and looked at Buck, “Is this a trap? This feels like when Maddie asks how she looks.”
Buck groaned and dropped his phone onto the counter so he could drop his head into his hands, “This is awful.”
“You knew it was coming though?” Chimney asked him, placing a sippy cup in front of Jee as she started squawking.
“They told Eddie they wouldn’t include it.” Buck said, Chimney gave him a look. “I know.”
“So what are you going to do today?” Chimney asked turning around with their plates but Buck was back staring at his phone, he turned to Jee instead. “A solid day of obsessing on his phone.” He nodded. “Be glad you have daycare today.” He leant forward and kissed her head.
“These people are assholes!” Buck threw his phone down.
“Language.” Chimney said, swatting Buck’s shoulder.
“This weirdo is commenting on like every post that I’m a cheat!”
“Technically…”
“Chim!”
“Hello family.” Maddie said entering the kitchen walking over to kiss the top of Jee’s head and then Chimney. “Obsessing?”
“They’re calling him straight.” Chimney told her.
“Is that a bad thing?” Maddie asked.
“I’m not straight!”
“They don’t know that.”
“They shouldn’t assume.” Buck said. “And a cheater. This is so unfair.”
“Are you going to do anything today?” She asked. “Besides obsessing?”
“It’s summer.” Buck told her. “This is my break.”
“Why don’t you go on a run?” Maddie suggested. “Get out of your head?”
“Maybe.” Buck grumbled.
“Have you um…” She paused. “Thought about calling Taylor?”
“No.” Buck said curtly.
“I just think—”
“No.” Buck said getting up from his chair and walking out the room, eyes still glued to his phone.
“Eggs.” Chimney offered Maddie Buck’s abandoned breakfast, she smiled at him kindly.
