Work Text:
“where are you going?”
rumi stops, her body going rigid like a deer caught in headlights. she turns her head to the side to blink owlishly at mira, who is already staring back at her with questioning eyes.
“um.” rumi pauses with confusion. “the bathroom? to clean up and…stuff?”
she thought that much would be obvious. but her confusion only grows as mira frowns and reaches a naked arm out to grab at rumi’s closest wrist.
mira’s hand is warm and gentle, her fingertips pressing delicately into rumi’s sweaty skin. the atmosphere around them is hot and stuffy, and all rumi can smell around her is mira. her perfume, her skin, and more. goosebumps raise on rumi’s naked skin as she lingers on the edge of the bed, mira’s eyes never once leaving rumi.
“do that later.” mira pouts, her grip on rumi’s slim wrist tightening insistently. the blanket slips down mira’s bare chest as she sits up slightly, and rumi nearly forgets why she's so confused in the first place. “unless you really need to go right now?”
rumi snaps her gaze back up to mira’s eyes, which now glint with amusement. rumi’s cheeks go bright red with shame at being caught in the act, but to her relief, mira doesn’t tease any further.
“oh, i… i guess i can wait.”
the smile that erupts across mira’s face makes rumi break into a small, slightly uncertain smile of her own.
rumi shuffles back up the bed and lifts the blanket to let her legs back under the warm cotton fabric. she lies next to mira, wringing her hands together until mira scooches in closer to her and throws an arm and leg over rumi’s body.
she doesn't really need to pee that badly. even with mira’s warm leg pressing down right on her bladder, she barely feels the urge. mira’s weight half on top of her does feel rather nice and comforting, she supposes. but rumi can't quite shake the feeling of confusion from her mind. it's not that she isn't enjoying this; mira is warm and smells good, rumi just had sex with her for the first time and she is definitely attracted to mira. so having mira pressed up against her naked body again is nothing short of a pleasant feeling.
but this has never happened before.
rumi still remembers her first time like not a single day has passed since. her long time high school crush, rumi’s tiny single bed, and the sound of celine watching tv downstairs. it was cramped, awkward, and too warm, but rumi will never forget it. because it was also everything she needed at that moment. they had laughed and smiled through it all, bodies pressed together eagerly.
as soon as it was over though, that was it. he had gotten up, slipped into her small en-suite bathroom for ten minutes, and then said it was time for him to go home.
rumi didn't really mind the immediate goodbye. it gave her time and space to digest what had happened, even if it did leave her chest feeling oddly light. it was the breathing room that she thought needed.
it only carried on from there. between her internships and college, rumi’s not exactly had time for many midnight rendezvous, but every now and then someone has spent the night in her bed, or vice versa. and every time it’s happened, they always start cleaning up as soon as it's over and take their leave.
again, it's never bothered rumi that much. she’s never felt overly emotional about sex, and she's come to appreciate the immediate solitude once her hook-ups are over. so much so that she starts doing it herself not long after her second college hook-up in first year. the last thing she wants to do is linger where she might not be welcome.
after all, that seemed to be the norm.
until now.
rumi tries not to tense as mira snuffs her face into the crook of her neck. she feels mira inhale deeply, and then a soft kiss is pressed against her skin, just over where her heart beats loudly. rumi holds her breath, bracing for something, for mira to say anything. but she doesn’t.
she’s perplexed as to why she feels this way. it's not like mira has a blade pointed at her. rumi’s not being threatened, and she’s not in any immediate danger. no, far from it. mira’s warm mouth presses more kisses against rumi’s throat like a silent prayer.
a prayer for what, though? rumi isn’t sure, and suddenly she finds her heart racing, the incessant feeling of it smashing against her ribcage makes her feel slightly nauseous. what if mira is trying to signal that she needs more? maybe rumi missed out on something or did something in such a lacklustre manner that mira thinks rumi is the worst lay she’s ever had? it didn’t seem that way, what with mira’s three orgasms, but what if—
“rumi, relax.”
she barely hears mira mutter the words, mira’s voice muffled by her face being smushed against rumi’s neck, where she can undoubtedly feel rumi’s rapid heartbeat against her lips. rumi realises she hadn’t even registered the ringing in her ears getting louder and louder until mira’s voice sliced through it.
mira’s words work their magic. rumi obeys, tension slowly seeping out of her exhausted body as she melts into the mattress. mira hums, pleased with how mushy rumi now feels, and wraps her arm around rumi’s torso tighter to press their bodies together even more.
they don't say anything after that. mira keeps her there, pressed down under her weight, which makes rumi feel strangely soothed, until rumi's body feels like it's full of something that she can't quite describe.
she thinks about it long after mira has left, the flat more eerily quiet than normal. she thinks about the way mira had kissed her while they lay there, hungry and as though she was trying to consume rumi whole.
rumi wraps her arms around her chest as she lies in bed later that night, alone and cold in a way she isn't sure she's felt before. when she rolls over onto her side and lays her face against her pillow, the smell of mira’s hair and perfume linger in her nose.
she presses her face into the soft fabric harder.
rumi begins to frequent mira’s bed more often, and their relationship blossoms beyond something purely physical. it’s not long after that when rumi finally meets zoey.
it was inevitable, with zoey being mira’s roommate.
and also, the other girl that mira shares her bed with, occasionally.
rumi learned early on into seeing mira that she was not one to hide her sexual and romantic relationships with shame. she's loud and proud—a stark contrast to how quiet mira gets whenever her familial relationships are mentioned (a topic of conversation that rumi has since learned to bring up very sparingly).
it's something that rumi hasn't been all that fussed about. she's not usually the jealous type, and she's under no illusion that her and mira are anything exclusive, yet. even still, it had shocked rumi slightly—the way mira revealed her relationship with zoey so openly to her out of nowhere.
rumi wasn't blind to the subtle challenge in mira’s composed look. be cool with it, or get out. and, well, rumi made her choice rather easily. what mira gets up to when rumi is not in her bed is decidedly not her business.
that is, until zoey ends up in mira’s bed with rumi.
like most things related to zoey, her addition to what mira and rumi had going on was inevitable.
rumi hadn’t even realised what was building between the three of them until it all combusted and they lay on mira’s bed together, panting and delightfully sore and content. the progression up until that point had felt so natural and expected that it blinded all of rumi’s senses to what was being orchestrated right in front of her.
it was just that zoey was always there at the exact times she needed to be, and rumi welcomed it gladly.
it started off simple. awkward hello’s that quickly turned into excited and warm greetings whenever rumi was over at the flat. occasional chats in the kitchen or hallways that soon turned into movie nights with the three of them all huddled on the couch, rumi in the middle, squished between mira and zoey’s bodies.
then came the extended invitations whenever rumi and mira would hang out outside the flat. rumi bit her tongue from saying anything further the first time she had asked mira if zoey could come along, the surprised but happy look mira had on her face speaking far too loudly for rumi’s comfort.
rumi surprised herself when she began to search for zoey’s eyes every time she walked around the campus on her own. when her hand would twitch as it hung limply at her side, swaying softly as she thought about how easy it would be to just reach over and hold zoey’s hand as the three of them walked around.
she would press her nose deeper into the pillow on mira’s bed that she lay her head on, desperately trying to breathe more of zoey’s scent as mira slumbered next to her. knowing why zoey’s smell lingered on her side of mira’s bed did not make her heart twinge with jealousy, and confusion crept in at her inability to unpick the reason for it.
her confusion lasts until she has zoey pinned beneath her, zoey’s soft moans and the slow roll of her hips driving rumi insane with want as she slides her fingers in and out of zoey. mira lies next to them, long legs and the vast expanse of her naked body on display as she whispers words of encouragement to zoey. words that make the tips of rumi’s ears burn even when they are not aimed at her.
they lie there after it's over. zoey and mira don't even give rumi the chance to escape to the bathroom before they have her pinned down with the weight of their bodies.
mira strokes a hand across the soft plane of rumi’s tummy, and zoey fits a thigh between rumi’s, their skin wet and sticky and slightly uncomfortable. but she doesn't complain, and she doesn't pull away.
rumi simply lies there, as she's begun to become accustomed to after sex with mira, and accepts that maybe this is just what mira and zoey do. it must be something zoey regularly indulges in too, the way she slinks into rumi’s space without hesitation. it must be their thing, some post-sex ritual of theirs. rumi finds she doesn't mind her lack of personal space in these moments, if anything she feels oddly content with it. it doesn’t seem very productive to her, but she would be a liar if she said the skin to skin contact didn’t feel incredibly rewarding.
but part of her recalls her first time with mira, and how she felt about it after when mira was all over her. since then, she’s been trying to cleverly deduce what it could mean, slowly trying to piece together mira’s body language and words. now, she has to add zoey’s clues to the mix, similar to mira’s though slightly different in their nature.
it always makes panic flare within rumi—after, when they’ve left and she’s alone. the thoughts are less persistent when zoey and mira there with her in the moment. but once they no longer occupy the space around her, there’s nothing to stop her doubts from creeping back in.
so she observes, and she thinks.
“did you do this on purpose?” she asks mira, a few weeks into zoey sleeping with them and the three of them becoming… whatever it is they now are. she has spent her time endlessly thinking back about everything, about zoey, about mira. replaying every interaction and detail that races through her mind.
“do what?” mira replies, not taking her eyes off the page she is currently engrossed with, her glasses perched low on her nose as she continues to read. rumi gets the sudden urge to rip them off her face and kiss her; it’s almost unfair how good mira looks with her glasses on when they’re in bed.
tonight, it’s just rumi and mira, zoey is off visiting family, and the flat is unusually quiet without zoey’s high energy vibes.
“did you…i don’t know, plan for me and zoey?”
mira finally looks up, closing her book calmly without even glancing at the page number she was on before setting it down on her lap. she stares at rumi flatly.
“are you asking me if i somehow plotted to get two of the women i’m seeing to become interested in each other so that i could have a threesome with them?”
rumi blanches momentarily, before a fire ignites in her eyes and she doubles down.
“yes, that’s actually exactly what i’m asking.”
mira wets her lips with her tongue, the action slow and mesmerising as she regards rumi with a calculated look. rumi forces herself to hold strong, sitting up straighter as she stares back at mira with an unwavering look of her own. she can’t afford to be distracted by how beautiful mira looks right now.
“then yes,” mira says eventually, picking her book back up and flicking back to the page she was on. “i did do my best to see if you and zoey had any interest in each other so i could have the both of you.”
rumi drops her indignant act and openly gapes at mira, her jaw hanging so low that mira reaches over and closes it for her, a teasing look on her face.
“are you serious?”
mira sighs with exasperation.
“sort of. is it such a crime to want two hot girls in my bed? i wouldn’t have minded if nothing happened. it just so happened that you and zoey fit perfectly together too.”
rumi lies back down carelessly, her body hitting the mattress with a heavy thump. she stares up at the ceiling, thinking in her own little world, until her vision is consumed by pink hair and brown eyes and cute, circular glasses threatening to fall onto her face. still, rumi resists taking them off mira’s face.
“why are you asking me about this all of a sudden? are you upset? i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
rumi smiles softly. mira is undoubtedly at her cutest when she thinks rumi is angry at her.
“no, no, it’s okay,” rumi placates, her voice barely louder than a whisper. rumi melts under mira’s affectionate gaze, worrying seeping into her eyes as she stares down at rumi. “i just wanted to make sure that this was something you’re on board with too.”
mira scoffs, shaking her head slightly as she smiles down at rumi. her bright pink hair brackets her face, and rumi raises a hand to brush it out of her eyes.
“well, you don’t have to worry about that at all,” mira laughs. “i definitely want this. as long as the both of you do too.” and then she reaches for rumi’s face with her hand, cupping rumi’s cheek and rubbing it gently with her thumb.
rumi’s face warms, blood rushing to her cheeks as she doesn’t resist the urge to lean into mira’s touch more. her body tingles, electricity running up and down her veins as the warmth from mira’s hand spreads across her skin.
“good,” rumi murmurs, her hand that lies under the blanket picking at the fabric of the bedsheet.
“don’t worry your pretty little head about it,” mira smiles knowingly, leaning down to press a kiss against rumi’s forehead. “we can all talk about it when zoey’s back.”
with a small nod of her head, rumi unwinds her body, her muscles relaxing slowly as she allows mira’s presence and warmth to unravel her. as the late hour of the night settles itself into her bones, she clutches at her pillow, leaning her head against mira’s shoulder as mira’s steady breathing soothes her loud mind.
days later, when zoey giggles and presses a kiss to rumi’s worried lips—whispering words of reassurance of how much she wants this, how much she wants rumi too, something deep within rumi begins to crack open.
“it’s just… i don’t know, weird?”
jinu sighs into the cup lifted to his lips, small bubbles popping up and splashing his upper lip with his fizzy grape juice.
“weird in what way? weird could mean anything when it comes to sex.” despite his obvious grievances to the topic of conversation, he’s feeling charitable today, so he indulges rumi instead of pulling a disgusted face.
alarm rises in his chest when rumi quietens and gnaws on her lower lip nervously. her lunch sits in front of her, untouched for the last five minutes since she started going down this spiel, and jinu glances around the food court before quietly continuing.
“rumi?” he prods gently, putting his cup down to give her his full attention. “what’s going on? are you being made to do something you do—”
“—no!” rumi interrupts hurriedly, waving her hands in front of her face frantically. “no, it’s not like that at all. i really love everything we do together.”
when she fails to continue, he speaks again, gently.
“okay, so, what is it then? you can tell me anything, you know that.”
the concern bubbling up in him is somewhat alleviated by her eye roll, her lips quirking up into a small smirk that doesn’t quite annoy him as it typically does.
“right, as if you weren’t about to throw up into that cup when i first started talking about this.”
jinu closes his eyes briefly. rumi has been his dear friend since high school, and she’s clearly going through something right now; she’s just struggling to find the words.
“stop deflecting. seriously, what’s going on?” he asks again after a moment of silence, pursing his lips slightly.
“ugh, fine,” she grunts unhappily, throwing her head back with embarrassment and glaring at the ceiling. “it’s what happens after.”
she looks back down to meet his gaze, picking up her fork to poke at her cold food distractedly.
“they just get so… cuddly. and touchy-feely, i guess.”
there’s a brief, silent pause in which rumi and jinu stare at each other with what feels like the weight of the world on their shoulders. jinu eventually breaks first.
“oh my god,” he breathes out the breath he was unknowingly holding harshly before smothering his face into his hands.
“what?” rumi snaps defensively, her brows tightening into a tiny, self-conscious frown.
“nothing,” he sighs, dragging his hands down his face. “i just can’t believe that your problem is two of the hottest women on campus wanting to cuddle with you after sex.”
“it’s not just that,” she complains, flicking a grain of rice at him which hits his cheek with concerning accuracy. “it’s more than just normal cuddling. zoey practically won’t let me get up sometimes, she just likes to lie on top of me and says things like she wishes she could live in my skin. and mira… she really latches onto me and kisses me everywhere, even though we’ve just had sex and kinda done all that already.”
“rumi—”
“like, i just don’t get it. am i not doing enough during sex? are they holding back? why do they still want to touch and kiss me all over after? it feels nice, sure, but are they trying to tell me they need more during sex?”
“hey—”
“i mean, everyone else has always just gone to clean up and leave right after, but when i tried to do that mira got all whiny and puppy-dog eyed and dragged me back into bed.”
by the time she finishes, jinu has his hands clasped in front of his face, his fingers intertwined with each other as he watches her inhale for the first time since she started speaking. rumi is slightly red in the face, though he can’t decipher if it’s from embarrassment or her self-inflicted asphyxiation.
and now she’s staring at him expectantly.
“okay, so that was a lot to unpack,” he says, unclasping his hands and pushing her glass of water towards her. rumi smiles sheepishly as she takes a sip and exhales slowly.
“i just feel like i’m doing something wrong and they’re trying to tell me about it, but i can’t figure it out.”
“rumi,” he sighs again, staring at her with sympathy. how she’s managed to pull some of their university’s most desired women is beyond him. “rumi, listen to me. you’re not doing anything wrong, at all.”
he holds a hand up to silence her attempt to speak, throwing a stern look her way. he wills his patience to not wear thin.
“they wouldn’t be dating you if you were really that awful at sex. they just want to feel close to you after sex, so they’re probably just being affectionate with you.”
“but… aren’t we already as close as we can be during sex? i mean, how can you get physically closer than that?” she laughs, but it comes out more awkwardly than normal. jinu smiles softly, his heart almost breaking in half at her words.
“look, forget about everyone else you’ve ever slept with. they clearly sucked,” he says. “most people like to engage in aftercare after sex. it feels good, sex can be emotional. and the sappy, lovey-dovey shit is sometimes way more intimate than the sex itself.”
“really?” rumi asks, her voice incredulous. jinu resists rolling his eyes at her—it’s not as if he’s just discovered a new law of physics right in front of her.
“you said it yourself, it feels nice. so yeah, it’s pretty normal.”
“so, other people are doing this too?”
“oh god, rumi…” he laughs softly, though not unkindly. “yeah, i think most people who like their partners do it. i’m so sure that there are literal porn categories around aftercare.”
rumi leans back, her face blooming into a bright red colour again. he rushes to speak before she can do so first.
“i mean—i’m not telling you to go learn about it by watching porn of it. maybe do some reading first, some actual educational shit before the fun stuff.”
she frowns at him, crossing her arms over her chest protectively.
“i don’t even watch porn,” she mutters, her eyes staring down at her abandoned plate of food.
jinu rolls his eyes, glancing at his watch before gulping down the rest of his drink.
“sure, whatever. we’re gonna be late to class, let’s go.”
he slings his bag over his shoulders and watches her do the same. once they’ve gathered their things and returned their food trays, he pats her comfortingly on the back as they walk towards their campus. she doesn’t bat him away like she usually does, instead just sighing and leaning into his touch more.
he shakes his head with amusement and keeps an arm around her shoulders until they sit down in their lecture hall.
rumi replays the conversation she had with jinu that day over and over again.
it occupies every free moment she has had since she last saw him. she’s even losing sleep over it, her evenings spent tossing and turning in bed as sleep fails to come to her, his words echoing in her skull.
she doesn’t speak to mira or zoey about it either. it’s not that she doesn’t want to, but every time she attempts to bring it up to them, her throat closes up and speaking through the lump in her throat feels impossible.
so she doesn’t. rumi carries on as normal, and eventually stops trying to mention any semblance of it to them.
it’s been days now. she’s had sex with mira and zoey twice, and despite jinu’s best efforts to convince her that they’re not secretly trying to tell her that she isn’t doing enough, the idea that that’s exactly what they’re doing continues to cement itself in her mind.
even as both of them press kisses to her flushed cheeks and whisper i love you against her skin, the voices in her head just get louder and louder. she wants to believe what jinu reassured her about so badly, but she just can’t drown out all the noise that threatens to undo everything she has built with zoey and mira.
but rumi has come a long way since her first year of college. she knows better than to do nothing about it.
so when it becomes impossible to ignore anymore, she sits down one night, far later than she likes, and decides to take jinu’s advice on board. well—part of it.
in the comfort of her dark room, she loads up twitter, and searches for an account she hasn’t looked at in a long time.
rumi wasn’t exactly lying to jinu when she said she doesn’t watch porn. she doesn’t, really. not now, not since she started seeing mira and zoey properly. it’s been many months since she’s watched anything, and even then, it always left her feeling a little bit ashamed afterwards, so it’s not something she frequently indulges in.
she still knows her way around, though.
rumi triple checks that her headphones are connected to her phone properly before she shoves them in her ears, despite the fact that she’s lived alone for the past year. her heart is pounding before she’s even looked at anything, and she suffers a mini heart attack when her phone slips from her sweaty palms and she nearly accidentally sends something extremely inappropriate to a whatsapp chat with celine.
she takes a deep breath, tells herself to get a grip, and promptly deflates as her mind comes up blank with what to search for.
everything she thinks of feels ridiculous.
hugging after sex.
no, that's not really it.
kissing and cuddling after sex.
too literal, too cringe.
appropriate touching after sex.
nope, is this a sex-ed class?
none of it feels viable, and she nearly throws her phone down with defeat, her cheeks burning with embarrassment at the whole situation.
but then, her mind slams to a complete stop. what was it that jinu had called it?
aftercare.
okay, that feels like a more reasonable term to put into the account’s search bar.
she types it in and instantly feels less shameful about the whole thing when, to her relief, a plethora of videos with the tag aftercare show up. she exhales shakily, nerves wired, and starts to scroll.
to her dismay, nothing really looks all that appealing to her. not that she’s really in search of anything for her pleasure. if she really wanted that, she could just open up her group chat with zoey and mira and scroll through their photos. she wants to watch something that won’t make her cringe too much. something interesting in a way that won’t make her skin crawl.
she finally settles on a video titled hot college girls lovingly strap each other down #strapons #lesbians #aftercare. on the thumbnail, one of the girls has pink hair, more pastel in colour compared to mira’s, but it’s long and pink enough. the other girl is a brunette, her hair not done up into spacebuns like zoey’s, instead cut short into a cute, wavy bob.
it seems a little too on the nose for her to ignore.
“i can’t believe i’m even doing this,” she mutters to the empty room as she clicks on the video and lets it go full-screen on her phone. the increase in size of the video almost makes her face the reality of the situation and shut her phone off with embarrassment, but jinu’s words of wisdom echo throughout her skull.
she sighs.
rumi locks in for as long as she can during the actual porn portion of the video. she contemplates skipping to the end when she’s halfway through it, but it’s only a fifteen-minute video in total anyway. what if she doesn’t understand the whole thing if she doesn’t commit to watching it entirely?
reluctantly, rumi sits through it, chewing on her bottom lip as she watches. it’s not as bad as she thought it would be, the two girls clearly care for each other; or at least they’re good at pretending to. thankfully, there’s also no overly obscene moaning and groaning—everything feels more natural and real than a lot of other videos she’s previously watched. it’s a slight relief, but she still finds herself checking the playback bar every few minutes to see how much longer is left.
finally, the two girls seem to finish up. the brunette slips her strap-on off from her hips and flings it off to the side of the bed somewhere before promptly rolling over to pull the pink haired girl into her arms.
okay okay here we go.
rumi sits up a little straighter and puts the volume up to attempt to drown out the hammering of her heartbeat in her ears.
it starts easy enough; at first the two girls just cuddle on screen, the pink haired girl wrapped up tightly in the brunette’s arms. it’s already more tender than rumi expected. the brunette’s hand delicately traces over the expanse of skin on the pink haired girl’s back, and she starts to press kisses onto her pink hair. rumi starts to warm.
then, they shift. the brunette rolls them over and lies directly atop the pink haired girl, resting all of her weight upon the girl below her. how that could possibly be comfortable? how can the girl breathe with the weight of another person on top of her?
memories of all the times zoey has laid herself upon rumi after sex race through her mind. how zoey would press rumi’s body down, pining her to the mattress with the entirety of her weight. how it made rumi feel warm and real, like she was overly aware of her own body, but not in the way that would typically make her want to crawl away and hide from everything. the contact between her and zoey’s naked skin makes her blood rush.
she watches as the girls continue to dote on each other—they caress and touch and press their lips to bare skin so intimately that rumi almost feels like an awkward intruder through her screen, like this is something she was never meant to see.
the girls speak quietly to each other, whispering words of love and devotion, sealed with soft kisses pressed to their lips and hands that delicately wipe away the stray tears that roll down their cheeks. the act is so natural and raw that she seriously debates if these girls are just actors, or two people who are deeply in love with each other.
rumi reaches her breaking point when they start telling each other how good they were for each other. how much they enjoyed each other’s company. how beautiful and good they looked while getting fucked. the reassurance that comes out of both their mouths does something violent to rumi—it grabs within her and latches on, its vice grip squeezing and twisting her insides as she listens to the words of praise. what feels like a sick depravity begins to build from within her as she realises how much she craves zoey and mira’s praise.
not that they don't praise her. they do, a lot. but pulling back and watching this as the uninvolved party, everything begins to click into place in a way it hadn't before.
the girls nuzzle against each other, sweaty bodies still plastered together as they giggle softly between themselves and continue to bask in each other’s afterglow.
by the time rumi realises she’s crying, the video has reached its end.
she sniffles, silently disconnecting her earphones and switching her phone off before placing it on her night stand. the earphones remain in her ears, squished hard in her ears uncomfortably as she lies down and presses the back of her head into her pillow.
she can’t bear to hear the sound of her own cries, so she keeps them in despite the growing ache in her ears. her throat is choked up and scratchy, raw despite the lack of speaking. her body trembles as she sobs, fingers clutching the thick fabric of her blanket so hard that her joints and knuckles begin to strain uncomfortably.
time passes around her as it always does, and rumi doesn’t know how long she lies there before she passes out from exhaustion.
when she wakes up, it’s nine in the morning on a saturday. she groans with regret—her head is pounding and her throat aches with how dry it feels, but nothing can compare to her chest feeling like it’s just taken fifty punches. something deep within her has stirred, and the strife it brings unsettles rumi.
the itch to learn more about this scratches at her brain so insistently that she gives it three hours after waking up before caving. she heeds the other half of jinu’s advice, probably the more sensible part of what he told her to do, and promptly googles what is aftercare?
she cries again.
it’s hard not to, when her eyes glaze over sentences like it’s about making sure everyone feels understood and nurtured. it’s about connecting to your partner emotionally to help them wind down. it’s about helping your partner feel safe and attended to after sex.
it makes her want to laugh, how wrong she was about the whole thing. but her stomach clenches and twists, an uncomfortable ache spreading through her as the realisation sinks in. that zoey and mira have in fact been doing the opposite of telling her they need more from her. that maybe, she might be enough.
the memories float by; the way that mira has loved and cared for her so much since the first time they slept together, enough to warrant wanting a further connection with rumi beyond something physical. and how zoey had shown no hesitation at doing the same, like doing anything less was not even an option.
everything about it came so easily to them.
it sinks in like a knife blessed with the kisses of familiar lips.
rumi spends the rest of her saturday curled up in bed, digesting all this new information about herself, about mira and zoey, until the sun sets. the thought of eating and moving barely crosses her mind, and she mostly just moves when her bladder reminds her that she can’t just mope around in bed all day.
guilt gnaws away at her. the hours tick away, her body twitching with all the pent-up energy from how horrendously unproductive she was today. the sound of celine gently berating her for it rings in her head, but her body refuses to drag itself out of its slump.
when she falls asleep that night, it’s with a weight on her chest. it differs from the one she’s normally felt all this time. it’s unfamiliar in the way it pushes against her, her heart cowers at the threat of being crushed, and she’s not sure how she can relieve herself of it.
rumi doesn’t think it’s meant to be alleviated by her hands.
for the next few days, rumi deals with the repercussions of her research like how she deals with everything else.
she tucks it away deep in the recesses of her mind, promising herself that she won’t leave this to fester uncontrollably. she can mention it the next time she sees mira and zoey, when the time is right.
which seems to be right now.
soft hands press into her skin, hot and heavy and all over her body. they pull at her clothes, undressing her until she lies exposed in front of zoey and mira, their careful eyes peeling over rumi’s naked body, unravelling her slowly.
tonight is all about her. she had truly tried her best at their mario-kart tournament, but zoey has years of experience on both mira and rumi. even mira, in her shockingly overly-competitive nature that had sprung to life the second the countdown said go!, had bested rumi, teasing and laughing at rumi every time she fell off the map.
she was destined to lose to them in their tournament. but as she lies between them, her body tingling with anticipation and desire, she figures the consequences of her loss could be worse.
rumi arches into their touch, hissing greedily as two of zoey’s fingers skirt down her body until they’re rubbing over her clit, the touch so soft that rumi’s legs press together with the need for more. she sucks in a shallow breath through clenched teeth, fingers digging into the mattress.
she nearly sobs with relief when mira’s fingers join zoey’s. mira teases as much as zoey does, her fingers ghosting over rumi’s entrance, pressing in ever so slightly only to pull away when rumi keens for more.
“you’re so wet, rumi,” mira grins down at rumi from where she lays, the length of her body pressed up against the right side of rumi’s. on rumi’s other side, zoey lies like a mirror image of mira.
rumi is sandwiched between them, and she truly realises that there is no other place she’d rather be than right here. there’s no one else she’d want pressing her down, no one else who could make her body ignite the way they do. mira and zoey look beautiful as they crowd rumi between them, barely giving her enough wiggle room to move just her arms. they have her exactly where they want her, and she relinquishes control over to them without hesitation.
her eyes water, but she blinks rapidly to dispel the tears as subtly as she can. not yet.
zoey giggles, sliding her fingers down rumi further and soaking them through how slick rumi is. she wastes no time in bringing her hand closer to their faces, separating her two fingers and shining with glee when rumi’s arousal forms a thick string between her fingers.
rumi can’t even find the decency within herself to feel embarrassed about any of it when zoey then puts her fingers in her mouth, licking them clean.
“you taste so good too,” zoey says, smiling at rumi before returning her fingers to rub against her.
rumi groans loudly, wrenching her eyes shut.
so good.
the words replay in her head over and over, taunting her as zoey and mira continue their teasing. mira doesn’t falter when her eyes meet rumi’s, and she dips her head low enough to take a perky nipple between her lips.
rumi strains against them, gasping and twitching desperately against their hold on her as she tries to press more of herself against them. mira’s tongue swirls around her nipple, her teeth sharp and dangerous as they gently bite and pull at rumi’s nipple.
the groan that leaves rumi’s mouth practically echoes throughout the room when mira slowly drags her tongue over rumi’s breast, continuing over her chest until she reaches rumi’s other nipple. mira repeats her actions. she kisses and bites and sucks, unrelenting as she draws more noises out of rumi’s pretty mouth.
when she pulls away from rumi’s breast, she does so with a soft pop.
“so cute,” mira sighs dreamily, bringing her hand up towards rumi’s chest to pinch and toy with her nipples.
cute. she thinks i’m cute. or maybe she just meant my boo—
white hot pleasure suddenly shoots through rumi, her legs tensing at the feel of zoey’s finger sliding into her. rumi tilts her head slightly to glance at zoey, who is paying no attention to her at all and instead focuses entirely on watching her finger pump in and out of rumi.
“sorry, rumi,” zoey says, still entirely mesmerised by what’s happening between rumi’s legs. “i couldn’t wait, you just felt so nice.”
rumi whimpers, canting her hips up to try and take zoey in deeper, her desperation driving her to greed. besides her, mira huffs.
“you’re so impatient, zoey,” she chastises—but there’s no real heat to her voice. “no better than rumi sometimes.”
“hey!” rumi exclaims, but she doesn’t get very far in voicing out her complaint before zoey’s laughing and slowly sliding another finger into her. the stretch burns slightly as rumi begins to adjust, sucking in a deep breath as she does.
“you can have her next,” zoey says, eyes lighting up playfully as she looks at mira before looking down at rumi.
“does that feel good, rumi?” she continues, curling her fingers upwards ever so slightly. “you feel really good, baby.”
rumi whimpers.
she’s teetering on the point of no return, and her body begs her to just tip herself over, to go exactly where she needs to go.
she glances up at mira, a pleading look in her eyes. she doesn’t even know what she’s asking for, her brain filling up with a warm haze that renders her thoughtless as zoey’s fingers continue to pump in and out of her.
mira smiles, knowing exactly what rumi needs, her lips meeting rumi’s in a slow but heavy kiss. it quickly turns sloppy, tongues sliding against each other and teeth biting down on plush skin. zoey’s fingers slip in with ease as rumi gushes around them. mira runs a hand up and down her body as she continues to kiss rumi senseless.
“i fucking love you,” mira pants softly, pulling back for air. “always so perfect for us.”
so perfect for us.
rumi keens, unable to help the way her body shivers with desire at mira’s words. she flushes hot, her cheeks blushing furiously as she fists a hand into the sheets, squeezing hard. she needs more.
“can you…” rumi starts, her voice shaky and unsure, voices in her head screaming at her for what she wants to ask for, reprimanding her for daring to even think about being so demanding and greedy when she hasn’t done anything to truly deserve it.
but when she looks into mira’s eyes, there is nothing but love and encouragement. mira’s hand strokes the soft skin of rumi’s breast absentmindedly as she waits for rumi to continue in her own time.
“can we what, baby?” zoey fills in gently, slowing her fingers down slightly. “tell us what you want, rumi.”
rumi swallows her uncertainty down, peering between mira and zoey’s doting gazes. it’s as intense as it is comforting, the weight of their undivided attention. her heart stutters.
“can you say that again? say it more?” she asks breathlessly, struggling to keep her voice level with zoey’s fingers still fucking into her.
the follow-up question is already forming on mira’s lips, so she speaks again before she can cringe at mira asking for further clarification from her.
“that i’m—i’m good.”
mira pulls back as lips form a small ‘o’ shape, rumi’s words sinking in. her eyes dart over to zoey’s, where the two of them seem to have a silent conversation that rumi isn't quite privy to.
dread creeps in, and ugly shame starts to rear its head again. maybe she shouldn't have asked. she shouldn't have said anything. why did she even think to mention this? maybe she's ruined everything now, and she should've just shut up about it all. their silence is so telling, they're probably thinking she's a needy freak, or unworthy of it all.
just before rumi can rectify the situation, before she can apologise for such an outlandish request, mira is smirking. she leans in towards rumi until the distance between them is so minute. rumi’s chest aches from how hard her heart seems to be attempting to break free from her ribcage.
“is that what you'd like, rumi?” mira murmurs, her lips brushing against rumi’s. “do you like it when we tell you how good you are?”
time seems to pause, and something within rumi tightens with fright before loosening abruptly.
“yes,” she admits in a breathless whisper against mira. the thought of trying to deny it, to hide herself, doesn't even cross her mind this time.
“really?” zoey prompts further, even though her voice sounds too smug for her question to be genuine.
“yes, i really like it,” rumi whimpers, her voice strained.
she doesn’t care anymore.
for once in her life, she wants to listen to herself.
she briefly thinks back to the video of the two girls. how they reminded her of mira and zoey, how her heart ached as she watched them, how she wished she’d understood sooner.
for once in her life, she knows what she truly wants.
(mira and zoey, zoey and mira, always, forever, with her, with rumi.)
“please!” rumi gasps, suddenly overwhelmed with the emotions that flood her. “i need it. i need you.”
that's all it takes for mira and zoey to kick into action. they see her, they hear her, and they understand her. they'll take care of her, rumi feels it in her bones.
“oh, baby,” zoey coos, her fingers picking up their pace again.
rumi knows she's made the right choice.
mira stays close, pressing her body against rumi’s as much as she can. it's hot, sticky, and slightly uncomfortable, but rumi doesn't care to complain. not when mira begins to kiss up and down her neck, lavishing her sweaty skin and licking a hot stripe from the base of her neck to her jaw. mira’s teeth gently sink into the skin by the corner of her jawbone, her lips hot and sweet as she sucks and bites at rumi.
“i love you, rumi,” mira whispers seductively against rumi’s ear. “we love you so fucking much. our beautiful, amazing rumi.”
rumi groans, her voice cracking in the middle of it as mira begins to gently nibble on her earlobe. mira licks up the shell of her ear, biting as she goes along.
she clenches down on zoey helplessly, whining desperately. zoey nudges her face into rumi’s, pressing sweet, open-mouthed kisses against rumi’s cheeks and on the corner of her lips before she trails over to rumi’s other ear.
“that's it, baby,” zoey pants softly, and rumi can feel her small body trembling with the effort she needs to maintain to keep fucking into rumi. “you're taking me so well. so good for me, rumi.”
“fuck,” rumi moans, suddenly so aware of the both of them breathing right up against her as they fuck her senseless.
something begins to build within her. her stomach warms, buzzing slowly with anticipation for what's to come. every stroke of zoey’s fingers brings her closer and closer, hitting every sensitive part of rumi that drives out the soft and pretty noises that make mira and zoey melt.
“please, i want to come,” rumi begs desperately. her body is practically vibrating with need, she can barely contain it. “don't stop, please—oh god.”
just as her back starts to arch, her abs begin to contract, and her body clamps down on zoey’s fingers impossibly tight, mira’s hand darts out.
suddenly, rumi is empty, left panting and mourning what was meant to come.
“no, mira, why?” she says, tears prickling in her eyes as she stares at mira sadly.
mira has a hand wrapped tightly around zoey’s wrist, pulling it back until rumi can see just how soaked zoey’s fingers and palms are. her fair skin glistens with rumi’s arousal, shimmering under the low lights of the room.
to her side, zoey is also staring at mira with confusion. mira simply shrugs with the shoulder she isn't resting her weight on.
“i'm impatient too,” she clarifies. “i'm not waiting until you're done for my turn, zoey.”
and then she looks down at rumi. rumi fidgets under mira’s unyielding gaze, a raging fire burning in mira’s eyes as she stares down at rumi like prey. rumi doesn’t dare utter a word, her mouth clamped shut.
“you're going to take both of us,” mira states, her voice firm. “and if you're good, you can come.”
it takes a moment for rumi’s foggy and dazed brain to catch up with mira’s words. when they do sink in, she blubbers, incredulous noises slipping out of her mouth.
“take both—both of you?” she asks timidly, her eyes darting between their two faces. “how?”
“do you trust me?” mira asks, still grasping onto zoey’s wrist with her hand. “do you trust us?”
rumi wants to scream. the question echoes in her head, digging through every thought she has and asking something she suddenly feels wholly unprepared to answer out loud. i would follow the two of you until my bones wear down to dust.
“yes,” rumi croaks out eventually, and it comes out much rawer than she intends. her eyes flit down as she avoids mira and zoey’s faces, too consumed by the flurry of emotions that whirl within her.
she doesn’t resist when a long, dainty finger slips under her chin and tilts her head back up.
mira’s eyes shine dangerously as she peers down at rumi, but there’s a softness to her stare that loosens the tension in rumi’s body.
“good girl.”
finally, mira releases zoey’s wrist, but she doesn’t stray far. instead she leans over rumi slightly, pressing her chest to rumi’s as she pulls zoey in for a kiss. it isn’t rushed, or filthy; it’s sweet, so tender that rumi feels like an intruder again, like she shouldn’t be watching. but she can’t help it, the way she lets herself be hypnotized by the way mira and zoey kiss and exchange their love and affection for each other.
the shadows of her doubts are chased away when zoey’s hand comes to rest on rumi’s stomach, just above where her legs meet. she feels soft fingers rub her skin gently, and the ticklish sensation makes her squirm against them. rumi’s cheeks flush gently as a fuzzy warmth courses through her.
when mira and zoey eventually pull away from each other, they are both so pink and flushed that they nearly match mira’s hair. zoey gives mira a soft smile, one that mira instantly reciprocates; it says a thousand words that no longer need to be spoken out loud.
mira rests a hand atop zoey’s as she turns back to look at rumi, who holds her breath as she awaits mira’s next words. but they don’t come. instead, mira wraps her fingers around zoey’s hand and slowly drags it down, over rumi, pressing down slightly right as they pass over her clit, until mira is nudging zoey’s fingers back inside rumi.
rumi sucks in a tight breath at the feel of zoey’s fingers opening her up again. two of them slip back inside her with ease, rumi’s body providing no resistance as zoey slowly begins to pump them in and out of her again.
before rumi even has time to vocalise any of her feelings, she feels mira’s hand pressing along the crease between her hip and thigh. fingertips slowly ghost over her sensitive skin, goosebumps raising in their wake.
rumi jerks ever so slightly when she feels one of mira’s fingers trace around where zoey’s fingers fuck into her gently. she meets zoey’s gaze, as mira presses a comforting kiss to her cheek. desire swims in zoey’s eyes, swirling tantalisingly. and a question, pleading, trust us, rumi. give yourself to us.
she relaxes again, willingly melting into the bed and pressing her face closer to mira’s as soft lips continue to dance across her heated skin.
“we love you, rumi,” mira breathes, slow and heady. the words go straight between rumi’s legs, her thighs falling further open as she quietly moans.
mira presses her finger in. zoey’s pace practically stills to accommodate the extra intrusion, and she curls her fingers upwards to make space for mira, which makes them press so much deeper into rumi, who gasps and jerks her hips upwards.
“rumi,” mira frowns, but her lips twitch upwards ever so slightly. “behave.”
“sorry!” rumi mewls, mirroring mira’s frown with one of her own. “i’m sorry, i didn’t me—i’m sorry.”
zoey’s stifled laughter brings rumi back from where she was about to spiral to, the soft, squeaky noise ringing in her ears.
“it’s alright, rumi, relax,” zoey teases, nudging her fingers against rumi’s walls again as mira begins to push in further. “just let us take care of you.”
rumi barely gets to nod feverishly before mira sinks into her completely, a choked groan escaping rumi’s lips as she shuts her eyes tightly. this is new—she’s never had them like this. the nature of sex between three people does often leave one person slightly more singled out at times, yet they’ve never struggled to feel connected throughout their activities. but this—this makes rumi feel the connection like never before. it burns through her, loud and insistent, especially once mira starts to slip a second finger into her, barely giving her enough time to adjust.
the stretch aches, four fingers are nothing compared to some of the strap-ons that zoey sometimes whips out of nowhere. but without much time in between the third and fourth, rumi feels it. so much. it’s intense, even as mira and zoey stay still within her, and it forces her to slow down for a second, her body releasing its tension slowly in order to accommodate what’s inside of her.
“that’s it, rumi,” mira says, her eyes glued to where her and zoey’s hands meet. “look at you, you’re already doing so good for us.”
rumi can’t help the desperate groan that leaves her mouth.
“fuck!” she cries, her hips twitching with need. “move, please.”
“please who?” zoey grins, moving her fingers ever so slightly to punctuate her question.
rumi nearly screams with frustration, tears threatening to form in her eyes as she sucks in a deep breath to attempt to calm herself.
“please, zoey, mira, i need you to move. i need you to fuck me, please.”
she’s never been above begging to begin with, but any resistance and desire to be defiant flew out the window the moment zoey started to shift her fingers with more intention, inadvertently moving mira’s as well.
mercifully and wordlessly, they begin to move their hands. it’s slow at first, the drawn out drag of their fingers nearly driving rumi up the wall with pent-up frustration. but she does her best to not move her hips against them. she doesn't want to take more than what she's allowed.
their fingers move faster, deeper within her, and everything starts to feel surreal to rumi. she swears that despite having been fucked with a strap-on on numerous occasions, she's never felt so full in her life. mira and zoey work together to fuck her with a rhythm so smooth that rumi can't help but let out the whiniest of noises.
part of her withers with irrational jealousy. the way mira and zoey move in tandem; it's almost too perfect, too practiced. like they've done this before, without rumi. maybe with someone else. she had never cared about mira sleeping with zoey during their earlier stages of the relationship, but the thought of mira and zoey together with someone else makes her stomach twist uncomfortably.
she can hear them both panting softly next to her, muttering words of encouragement as they continue to ruin her. rumi thinks that nobody else deserves them.
maybe… they've done it with each other. rumi shudders as she thinks about it; maybe it was mira who lay between zoey’s legs, her own legs spread wide open as an invitation. her back pressed against zoey’s chest, their warm bodies fitting together perfectly.
maybe zoey trailed a hand up and down mira’s chest, squeezing and massaging her breasts. and maybe zoey’s other hand was between mira’s legs, pressed up against mira’s as they both fucked into mira desperately. maybe mira moaned loudly, grinding her hips against their hands, much like rumi is doing right now as she tries to take all four of their fingers even deeper, her thoughts consuming her entirely.
“harder,” rumi begs, wrenching her eyes open to look between them. she knows what she must look like. her face is so warm it burns uncomfortably, her cheeks and ears bright red as her heart pounds in her chest. she can feel strands of her hair sticking to her forehead, damp with sweat and fraying from her normally well-kempt braid.
“so needy,” mira murmurs, making rumi jolt at the feel of mira’s light breath against the shell of her ear. “do you like this, rumi? are you enjoying it?”
“oh fu—fuck!” rumi cries out, shoving her hands into the bed harder to give herself more leverage to grind her hips against their hands.
“answer her,” zoey chastises, delivering a particularly hard thrust into rumi and making her nearly choke on her next swallow.
“y—yes, oh fuck—i am,” she moans, her eyes water as she jogs her hips desperately. she's so full, so full of them. they make her feel feral, on the cusp of losing her mind. “i love you. i feel so good.”
mira hums approvingly, and then she’s leaning down to capture rumi’s lips in a frenzied kiss. unlike the way mira had kissed zoey earlier, this kiss with rumi is messy and bold. rumi’s noises are muffled against mira’s lips, their tongues pressed together and sliding against each other.
rumi hungers for it, and she brings an arm up from where it clutched at the sheets to curl around mira’s back. she latches on greedily, pulling mira closer to her. mira’s mouth guides her, confident in the way it navigates rumi's needs. rumi’s other arm reaches for zoey, and rumi pulls away from mira to tilt her head to the other side, allowing zoey to kiss her.
liquid heat burns through rumi’s body. zoey kisses her just as passionately as mira, but in a way that demands something from rumi that mira’s hadn't. look at me look at us do you feel it can you feel us we’re right here. rumi melts against her in response, letting zoey in as much as she wants.
it's sloppy, and the wet noises their lips produce as they continue to kiss nearly rival that of the slick sounds coming from between rumi’s legs.
it's so lewd, how everything sounds. it nearly makes rumi cringe as she becomes aware of all of it. how she is so open for them, in every way possible, her body unable to resist and deny them anything.
but it's mira and zoey. it's mira and zoey, who subtly intertwined their lives with rumi’s. mira, who didn't hesitate to cradle rumi close to her and reassure her the first time rumi had a nightmare early on in their relationship, despite the ever-growing embarrassment rumi felt about the whole situation. and zoey, who never once expressed any discomfort or unhappiness at rumi’s existence in the space that was once only shared by mira and zoey, and in fact did her best to make rumi feel at home with the two of them.
rumi doesn't realise she's crying until she tastes salt mixing in between her and zoey’s lips. it startles her, and she blinks her eyes wide open. she regrets it almost immediately as the floodgates open, and suddenly she is unable to stop the choked sob that erupts from deep within her.
zoey pulls back, and the fingers inside of her still.
“rumi?” zoey asks hurriedly, the pitch of her voice escalating with worry. “are you okay? did we hurt you?”
“no! no, oh god,” rumi gasps through wobbly lips, her hips grinding down on their hands which still aren't moving. “keep going, please.”
“is this good crying? or bad crying?” mira questions, shooting a glance over at zoey before continuing to stare down at rumi. “give me a colour please, rumi.”
rumi huffs through her tears, trying to blink them back to no avail. they keep coming, and she tightens her grip on their backs, digging her nails in possessively.
“good, good, green! please. mira—zoey,” she's gasping, throwing her head back onto the pillow hard. “please, it feels good, feels so good, i just wanna feel good.”
someone presses a kiss to her cheek, washing away the tears that fall. she closes her eyes shut, the idea of being perceived as she is now makes her want to scream.
“i want to feel like i'm good.”
fingers start to move.
“rumi,” zoey whispers hoarsely, a terrible noise that breaks rumi even further.
with fingers sliding in and out of her in perfect harmony once again, rumi loses herself in the sensation of it all and fails to say anything more. a familiar ache—tantalising in nature—is building in between her legs. it travels up her body, settling low in her belly and continuously growing.
“rumi, look at me,” mira’s sharp voice cuts through the clouds that surround rumi. she finds herself unable to deny mira’s request, despite her reluctance to meet mira’s eyes.
“you’re perfect as you are, and always so good to us,” mira affirms, her tone leaves no room for any argument rumi might dare to dredge up. “tell me you know that. tell me you realise how good you are.”
rumi blinks and lets out a noise halfway between a sob and a miserable bout of laughter. her eyes sting, and she struggles to take in a full breath. because she can’t, she can’t give mira what she wants. she can’t do this for her, and the knowledge of it shatters rumi into a thousand pieces.
“i can’t,” rumi whispers brokenly, and she cuts eye contact with mira the second mira’s eyes harden.
“you can,” mira encourages, driving her fingers into rumi even harder, which makes her eyes roll to the back of her head with pleasure.
zoey speaks right after mira. “you’re everything to us, rumi. beautiful, smart, kind of nerdy, and so uniquely you. we love everything about you.”
the sheer honesty and gravity of zoey’s words fuel the fire between her legs, and rumi finds herself arching off of the bed, fingernails scratching into mira and zoey’s backs once again.
“please—oh fuck, please, i’m so close,” she manages to choke out between her strangled sobs, her legs shake with the need for release. “i think i’m gonna come.”
“no!” mira growls, though not with anger. “not until you tell us, rumi.”
“mira, please,” rumi begs again. she looks at mira; she can’t see her reflection in mira’s glassy eyes, but she knows how pathetic she must look.
“you need to hear it, rumi,” mira continues, her voice softening into something sweeter and more comforting than anything else. “from yourself.”
“fuck, i—i don’t know if i can.”
“yes you can,” zoey interjects, just as sweet as mira. her voice is soft and gentle, melodic in the way she speaks. “we’re right here rumi, we’ve got you.”
rumi weighs her options. she can keep giving into the thoughts that have occupied her brain since childhood, or she can give into mira and zoey, and finally get what she wants. she glances frantically between their faces, her throat choked up as she battles her internal struggles. but mira and zoey don’t press any further, they don’t rush her. and the way they look at her with their hearts worn on their sleeves makes rumi bite down hard on her tongue to keep herself from letting out the most pathetic of noises.
every part of her seems to want to run from this. she knows she can, zoey and mira will give her an out without question. but something ties her down, anchoring her to them and the realisation that there is no part of her that truly wishes to break free from their hold on her slams into her with full force.
“do you love me?” rumi asks, and she doesn’t know why she does. it’s silly, really. she knows full well that mira and zoey love her, they’ve been saying it for months now. they’ve probably said it a hundred times tonight. she believes them when they say it too, it isn’t a matter of their sincerity. more just an endless hunger that she now thinks has always been there, settled deep in her chest and starving her slowly, constantly craving and seeking out reassurance.
she braces herself out of pure reflex, body tensing briefly as she expects annoyance, or snappiness, or even anger for asking such an obvious question. but it never comes, and she gets something else instead.
“of course we do, rumi,” zoey speaks first, and her voice cracks in the middle of it.
“so much, so so much,” mira continues, nuzzling her face into rumi’s cheek. “more than life itself.”
rumi sniffles, whimpering, and still unable to stop the tears from falling. it’s strangely intoxicating, this mix of unrelenting pleasure and emotional turmoil courses through her simultaneously. like a wave during a monsoon, she feels it about to all violently crash down on her as she consumes their words greedily, the pit in her chest satiated with the relief that their words bring.
“i love you guys,” she says, her breathing shaky. “i love you, fuck—i feel so good, i want to come, please. i’ve been good, now please let me come.”
mira smirks, but it isn’t unkind or making a mockery of rumi, just knowing.
“you can come, baby,” she coaxes, soft and warm. “come for us, rumi.”
the surge in pleasure that floods through rumi at mira’s words is monumental. zoey and mira have miraculously managed to maintain their relentless pace while fucking rumi, but she can see the trembling in their arms. it makes her stomach twist, how they push through everything just for her.
rumi lets out one final, heart-wrenching sob as she comes. it’s like molten lava, slowly spreading through her entire body. her back arches off the bed beautifully, and zoey takes a nipple in her mouth, unable to resist at the sight of it. rumi presses her fingers down hard, fingernails pinching into the skin on their backs painfully, and with how overwhelmed she is, she can’t help but rake them down their bodies, scratching bright red streaks into their skin.
she can barely feel her body or think. all she knows is how good she feels, how every cell in her body tingles and burns like it's been set on fire. distantly, she can still feel their fingers moving in and out of her, but their pace has slowed considerably. she clenches down on them, still ever so greedy, desperate for them to milk as much as they can from her.
her orgasm is drawn out, a never ending tidal wave of heat and pleasure. this is the hardest she's ever come in her life, her body is wrecked, every part of her feels touched and known. she drifts, free and weightless, floating through it all.
warmth blooms on her cheeks as she eventually registers the lips that dance across her sweaty skin, kisses left on every available inch of skin on her face. there are words being said to her too, she can’t make them out, but like a sweet lullaby, they beckon her and she follows.
hands press down gently on her body, doting on her endlessly as she comes down from her high. she can hear both mira and zoey repeating her name like a prayer, among other things. rumi shakes, her legs feel like jelly as she moves to press together, suddenly feeling cold.
“on top,” she rasps, her throat aches slightly from the strain of crying so much as she speaks.
“what?” mira murmurs softly, bringing a hand up to caress rumi’s face. it’s wet and still sticky, but rumi doesn’t complain as she normally would.
“lie on top of me,” rumi grumbles, nearly inaudibly. “both of you.”
the atmosphere in the room has been heavy since the first tear spilled from her eyes, but zoey’s soft laughter cuts across it, lightening it as she always does.
“how will we both fit?” zoey teases, but rumi can feel her already starting to shift closer.
“i don’t know—don’t care, just do it.”
more quiet laughter ensues, and rumi lets out a small smile. she wheezes slightly with the weight of them on her, half of each of their bodies lie on top of her, sharing the space, just as she asked them to. it’s almost painful, the way she can’t really breathe properly and the way her ribs creak slightly. but she doesn’t care. she’s pinned to the bed with nowhere to go, unable to overpower the two of them, but it’s the safest and most grounded she’s ever felt. rumi wraps her arms around the back of their necks and holds them close.
“are you okay?” mira whispers, her breath coming out in short puffs as she still tries to catch her breath. “that was a lot.”
rumi hums and nods, not really able to find the words just yet.
she feels both girls go slack against her, rumi’s reassurance releasing the tension within their bodies. she strains under their deadweight, but she doesn’t find herself wanting them to move.
“seriously rumi, we love you more than anything,” mira continues as zoey presses more tender kisses to rumi’s neck. “you could never be less than perfect to us. in every way, just as yourself.”
unable to stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks again, rumi tries to hide her face by turning her head towards the pillow, but zoey doesn’t let her. helpless noises, similar to that of a wounded and frightened animal, escape her mouth, but mira and zoey don’t say anything about it, instead they opt to wordlessly wipe her tears away with gentle swipes of their fingers. rumi trembles with uncertainty, her chest clogged with emotions.
“really?” she asks quietly, cringing slightly at how her voice cracks as she speaks.
“of course!” zoey says, her hand stroking at rumi’s hair softly. “i mean, nobody can be like, perfect perfect, but you’re perfect to us in every way that matters.”
“oh,” rumi whispers hoarsely.
mira smiles sadly at her, and rumi’s heart breaks at the sight of it. she hates when she’s the cause of their distress.
“do you wanna talk about it?” mira asks tentatively. “talk about what brought this on?”
rumi contemplates for a moment. mira’s request comes with a lack of pressure, they’ll always give her a way out when needed. tonight has been far more of an unexpected experience than she could’ve ever imagined, but mira and zoey peer at her with such affection and concern that she feels any and all resolve crumble instantly.
“yea, i guess i just…” she sighs, struggling to find her words. her throat closes up and she swallows down another sob, the thought of answering mira’s question makes her stomach plummet, despite how much she wants to. she makes an attempt to clear her throat before continuing.
“i’m not really used to this whole thing,” she says vaguely, looking up at the ceiling, which stares back at her plainly.
zoey frowns.
“what thing?”
“this… like, the aftercare,” rumi sighs as she clarifies herself. “no one’s ever done it with me before so, i don’t know, i guess i thought i wasn’t giving you guys enough. i thought you were both trying to tell me that you needed more from me.” her voice is so meek by the end of it that rumi is sure she’s physically shrunk to the size of an ant.
“what?!” zoey and mira both explode simultaneously, jerking up and jostling rumi, who coughs at the sudden weight shift.
“sorry, sorry,” zoey apologises as she settles back down against rumi. “what do you mean no one’s ever done aftercare with you?”
“and what do you mean you thought we thought you weren’t enough?” mira cries, the devastation in her voice rings in rumi’s ears.
“i don’t know, it’s just never been a thing i’ve experienced. and yeah, i guess i thought you guys were trying to touch and kiss me more after sex because you weren’t getting it enough during sex…”
“oh my god,” mira moans dejectedly.
“jinu had to explain it to me,” rumi laughs quietly despite herself as she recalls their conversation and how exasperated he had been. “and then i did my own research and realised how wrong i was and that maybe i kind of liked it a little more than i thought i would. and then… i realised tonight that i wanted to be able to experience all of it without any doubts. i wanted to feel like i was really enough for you.”
they’re quiet for a moment as they digest rumi’s words.
“oh rumi,” zoey breaks the silence first, sniffling sadly as she clutches onto rumi tighter. “i wish you had told us about this earlier.”
“yeah,” mira croaks, and her voice sounds dangerously close to tears as well. “rumi, i can’t believe that’s what you’ve been thinking this entire time. i’m so sorry, i should’ve do—”
“—hey, no, it’s okay,” rumi interrupts, not wanting mira’s spiral to continue down this path. “it’s not your fault, you were literally doing everything right. i mean, if anything it’s kind of my fault for being like… this…”
rumi smiles sadly at them, still unable to shake the shame she feels about herself.
“no more of that,” mira chides, pressing a chaste kiss to rumi’s lips. “there’s nothing wrong with you, rumi. you’re you, and we love you. there’s nothing more to it.”
zoey nods enthusiastically and gives rumi a kiss of her own.
“did you like that though?” zoey asks, starting to take on the more playful tone she usually adopts. “you did take us really well. i was impressed.”
rumi’s cheeks flame as she shifts her gaze away from them. but the words she read days ago flash through her mind—aftercare being about checking in on your partner, about making them feel safe and heard. zoey’s question feels no less embarrassing, but she finds herself able to look at them without wanting to look away.
“yeah,” she admits softly. “i did like that. did you guys like it?”
“of course we did!” mira grins, her eyes thinning into cute and small crescents that rumi has always found so endearing. “it was fucking hot. you were amazing.”
“and you didn't… you didn't think the crying was too much? it was kind of weird i guess, i don't know,” rumi says, tentative and shy.
“it wasn't weird,” zoey is quick to assure rumi. “not weird at all. and you could never be too much, rumi. you're allowed to express how you feel in ways that feel right to you.”
“i know, but—”
“—no buts,” zoey warns. “there's nothing else to it, rumi. it's that simple. you can tell us, show us, write it down or—i don't know, sing it out loud or something. whatever you're feeling, if you want us to know, we’ll be here for you. we promise.”
mira nods resolutely at zoey’s words, and tears threaten to burst through rumi’s eyes once again. the way they smile at her, with such adoration and sincerity, brings forth nothing but an encompassing feeling of love that melts rumi to her core.
“thanks,” she murmurs shyly, slightly unsure of what the appropriate response is. she leans up slightly to kiss each of them. “i love you.”
it's almost startling, how at ease her mind and body are, fully satiated.
she hates how right jinu was, he's probably never going to let her live this down once she gives him the update on the situation.
she's also more than aware that this isn't going to be an overnight change. everything that burst out of her tonight was brought forth by her initial surge of uncertainty and desire to let herself feel. it will mellow out; she's almost certain that she will have her bad moments again, but she doesn't panic about it. not with the literal weight of zoey and mira’s promise atop of her, a reminder of their devotion to her.
“really though, i can’t believe nobody else wanted to cuddle with you after sex,” mira deadpans suddenly, her face falling into a gravely serious expression. “zoey, we should hunt these people down and kill them.”
rumi bursts into laughter at the same time zoey does. tears prick at her eyes, but their presence doesn’t feel as haunting as they did before.
“i am not giving you guys a list of everyone i’ve ever been with so you can end up on international news.”
“why not?” zoey whines with a pout on her lips. a pout that rumi finds herself wanting to bite at, so she does, and she revels in the offended squeak zoey lets out.
“because none of them matter anymore,” rumi declares resolutely, nodding her head once. “not when i have you guys.”
“that’s really gay, rumi,” mira rolls her eyes, but the smug smile on her face gives her away entirely.
“and also they’re not as hot as you guys.”
that makes mira bark out a laugh of her own, and the sound of it makes everything within rumi feel fuzzy and bright.
“well yea, obviously,” mira says once her laughter has quietened a bit.
rumi rolls her eyes and digs her fingers into the crook of mira’s neck until more laughter fills the room, and mira squirms away from rumi until she lies flat on her back next to her. rumi slides out from underneath zoey and rolls over to lie half her body on mira’s, a leg thrown over mira’s waist. it isn’t long until she feels zoey follow, draping half her body on top of rumi and wrapping her arms around as much of them as she can.
“i love you guys,” rumi sighs just as mira’s hand comes up to tuck her purple hair behind her ear. “i’m so lucky to have you.”
“we could say the same about you,” zoey murmurs from behind, pressing a kiss to the tip of rumi’s ear. “you’re stuck with us now. forever.”
rumi smiles so wide that her cheeks start to ache. her thoughts have settled, there is nothing whispering words of doubt in her head, and her chest feels light in a way it hasn’t before. serenity encompasses her as she basks in the naked afterglow, their bare skin pressed against each other.
before she puts her phone down that night, tucked between mira and zoey in mira’s bed, rumi makes sure to send a text to jinu.
thanks, the porn advice was really helpful!