Chapter Text
Believe it or not, sex was one of the few (read: many) things that made Jason nervous. He spent over a year on the street as a kid, he knew what creeps could do.
Which wasn’t to say he didn’t like sex, just his inexperience on top of the existing nerves weren’t exactly the greatest combination. Roy understood that. Jason knew he did, reminded every time by soft kisses to his neck and sweet nothings in his ear. The ginger never failed to be patient with him, not with this.
Roy always took his time, made sure to go at Jason’s pace, met him with a patience he’d never seen before. He always took care of Jason, so Jason wanted to do something for him instead.
Which is why, when they kissed their way into the bedroom that night, Jason pushed Roy back to sit on the edge of the bed and sunk to his knees.
Roy blinked in surprise, frozen by the sudden change. “Baby?”
Nerves crashed over him in an instant, churning in his gut like the turbulent sea. He was already doing it wrong, a part of him whispered.
”Jason.” And there, that soft, patient tone that never failed to wash away the grit the waves of his anxiety swept up onto his shores. “Talk to me, sweetheart. What are we doing?”
He still hesitated, the words heavy and embarrassing on his tongue. “I want to make you feel good…” Jason all but whispered.
“You do, Jaybird,” Roy said just as softly, leaning down to rest his nose against Jason’s hair, just to be close to him. It made Jason’s heart flutter. “You make me feel so good… I just want to understand what’s going on in that pretty head of yours. Can you talk to me, darling?”
Jason let out a shaky sigh, affection bubbling uncontrollably in his chest. He leaned forward, pressing his face into the soft fat and muscle of Roy’s stomach and curling his arms around the other man’s waist, just to hold him for a moment.
“Jason?” He gently prompted again. “…We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”
Jason wanted to. There was no conceivable way Roy didn’t know he wanted to. But this wasn’t Roy offering him an out, it was him reminding Jason that the choice was always there, that Jason was just as in control as he was.
God. Jason never thought loving someone this much was possible. It simmered under his skin, made his fingers dig into the muscles spanning Roy’s back. They weren’t even having sex yet and Jason felt like he’d fall apart if he let go.
“…I want to suck you,” he finally got out, breath warm against soft skin and course hair and the waistband of Roy’s sweatpants.
Roy lightly trailed his fingers over the back of Jason’s head, little circles with his fingertips that made sure not to pull. “Are you sure?”
Roy normally wouldn’t ask twice, but Jason understood why he was this time. Despite their jokes, Jason didn’t actually like giving blowjobs. It made something in him freeze, made him feel helpless and raw and used in a way he didn’t like. Roy knew this.
They hadn’t tried it since their relationship was new, but there was no one in the world that Jason trusted more than Roy Harper.
Jason pulled back just enough to look up at him, to see the way his ginger strands slipped lazily from the loose tie behind his head to trickle down and frame his face. He thought of renaissance paintings, though he couldn’t place why.
“I want to try it,” Jason said.
Roy sucked in his own shaky breath. “Okay…”
He let go of Jason’s head to lean back on his hands, spreading his thighs and lifting his hips to let Jason slide off his sweats and underwear. The lose of contact made a small part of Jason seize in protest, but he knew it was better that way. Nothing to trap him, nothing to control him. The fact Roy thought of it first made that affection sizzle under his skin again.
Roy’s boxers and pants came off easily, slipped over one foot and then the other. His cock was half hard between his thighs, flushed red and hot under the tips of Jason’s cursory fingers.
Jason lightly curled his hand around it, thumb running up the underside from the base up to rub against the slit.
Roy bit his lip above him, his own fingers curling tight in the bedsheets as his cock hardened. He let himself settle for a moment before speaking. “Go at your own pace…”
Jason snorted in amusement, seeing Roy slowly coming apart from just a touch being enough to boost his confidence again. “What does it look like I’m doing?”
Then he pressed his lips to the head, kissing it softly before following it with his tongue.
Roy groaned softly. “You’re going to kill me.”
“Nah.” He took just the head into his mouth, sucking and licking softly as his hand stroked lightly. It was a little dry, actually. Jason stopped just long enough to wet his hand with his tongue before going back to work.
“Fuck,” Roy hissed softly, barely more than a breath as he watched.
Jason himself didn’t understand the needy look building on his partner’s face. This had to be the most boring blowjob he’s ever gotten, yet he was watching Jason like he was a pornstar.
Jason felt shame and disappointment curling in his gut, his already casual pace slowing to a hesitant crawl. He hoped this would be better.
In one way, it was better. He didn’t feel like a caged bird, frantically wanting to escape, he didn’t feel trapped. But he still felt raw, and as much as Roy was putting on a brave face, he didn’t think this was having as much effect as he thought.
Tentatively, Jason pulled away, hands curling awkwardly in his lap as he avoided Roy’s confused and concerned gaze. He had to talk, had to tell him what he was thinking, that’s how this works.
But the words always felt so hard to say, like admitting defeat, like surrendering himself to be flayed open. “…I don’t think this is working.”
“That’s okay!” Roy rushed to reassure, leaning forward and cupping Jason’s face in his hands. “Are you alright, baby? What happened?”
“I’m okay,” Jason starts. “Just… I don’t think I’m good at this.”
“Jay-baby,” Roy says, almost incredulous. “You don’t learn how to be the best at anything from just one try. Though, for what it’s worth, you did look really hot with my dick in your mouth.”
Jason couldn’t help but laugh softly at the words, his cheeks growing warm.
Roy gave him a gentle smile. It was almost startling to see Jason’s own love reflected back on his partner’s face. “What do you want to do now, sweetheart?”
“…What do you want to do?” He said, climbing up to straddle his hips. God, Jason should’ve been asking that from the start. This was supposed to be about Roy.
The ginger hummed softly as he thought. “Well… I wouldn’t mind getting my hands on your cock,” he starts, an evil smirk spreading over his face. “Sink my fingers into you… make you squirm in my lap and then watch you ride me…” He leaned closer as he spoke, his breath hot on Jason’s ear as his hand moved to softly rub Jason’s folds through his pants.
The younger man felt his face light ablaze at the words, biting his lip as his cunt twitched against Roy’s fingers. No matter how many times he did it to him, Roy’s filthy words always struck him hard. “…Yeah?”
“Yeah, baby.” He focused in on where he knew Jason’s clit had to be, keeping his touch soft and easy. “You know how much I love that pretty hole. Though, of course, that’s nothing compared to how much I love the man attached to it…” Roy gently took Jason’s earlobe between his teeth, making Jason have to bite back a whine.
Pain in the ass.
“You want to fuck me?” Jason gets out, voice weaker than he wanted.
“Always, Jaybird,” Roy whispered, his free hand pressing between Jason’s shoulder blades to keep him close. “I’m whatever you want me to be.”
No, no. This was supposed to be about Roy.
“…But I wanted to do something for you,” Jason said, hoping he didn’t sound as miserable as he thought he did.
“Oh, baby…” Roy curled both arms around him to hold him tightly. “You‘ve given me so much already, you don’t need to worry about that.”
“Like what?”
“Your trust,” he says easily. “Your love. You gave me a home, you gave me somewhere I feel safer than anywhere else in the world. You give me company, you give me those little gifts that I love. You gave me you…” He paused to take a deep breath. “…But if you really want to do something for me, I’d love to fuck you, baby. If you want to.”
Jason had to take a moment to process the words, gears ticking in his brain. How could he not give Roy those things when he does so much for him? How couldn’t he when his love for the other man tries to burst from his seams on the regular?
Jason pressed his face against Roy’s neck as he nodded, moving to hold him just as tightly.