When I'm Next to You I'm Home

by leeknow_meemo_ham_hana

Summary:

Jisung and Minho are best friends. Jisung may or may not have a secret, and Minho is probably about to run head first into it.

or

It’s 7:17pm on a random Tuesday night when Minho walks into the apartment he shares with Jisung. “What the hell was that?” he mutters when he hears a strange sound. It sounds like it’s coming from Jisung’s room.

Notes:

Hi! Thank you for reading!

Please leave comments - I love getting feedback on the story, how I'm doing, what you like, don't like, or just to say hi!

Chapter titles are lyrics from ONE OK ROCK songs, and there may be other lyrics woven into the work.

Chapter 1: 1- I'm Black and Blue to Tell the Truth

Summary:

Minho hears something weird when he gets home and goes to check it out.

Chapter title from Let me let you go by One Ok Rock

It’s 7:17pm on a random Tuesday night when Minho walks into the apartment he shares with Jisung.

“What the hell was that?” he mutters when he hears a strange sound.

It sounds like it’s coming from Jisung’s room.

He stops by the kitchen to put down the bags of groceries and take-out he bought for them both and starts walking down the hall to make sure everything is ok.

He hears the sound again, only this time it’s louder.

“Jisung? Are you ok?” he says out loud, still in the hall, still a ways away from Jisung’s room.

He keeps walking, his mind working on what he’s hearing.

Another sound. His footsteps. Another sound. He freezes. Another sound.

A gasp. A…moan?

He’s right outside Jisung’s door. “Jisung? What’s going on?” Minho says quietly, directly to Jisung’s painted wooden door.

He puts his hand on the knob, turning it slowly.

He pushes the door open enough to stick his head inside the room.

Only to find Jisung sitting at the end of his bed reading a magazine.

“Oh, hi, hyung,” Jisung says as he looks up to find Minho peering into his room, looking at him with an odd look on his face. “What’s up?”

Minho shuffles his feet and looks sheepish.

“I heard some noises coming from your room when I got home and I got a little worried. I wanted to check on you.”

Jisung smiles up at his best friend.

“Oh. OH! I-I’m sorry I w-worried you. I was just trying out s-some noises to sample for a new song we’re working on. It’s a little…uh…um…sex…sexy…I-I guess.”

Jisung blushes furiously as he explains.

"This is so em-embarrassing, hyung.”

Minho looks at Jisung, notices the blush and decides to accept his answer, even though he’s pretty certain that there is no sexy song being worked on right now.

He thinks he would have known.

“No worries, Sungie. I just wanted to make sure you’re ok. I’ll leave you to your, uh, sampling.”

Minho shuts the door and walks a few steps down the hall, back toward the kitchen.

He slips his hand down the front of his pants to adjust himself and realizes how hard he is.

He is suddenly very glad that he hadn’t opened the door all the way.

He turns his back to the wall and slowly slides down, knees bending on the way down, ass hitting the floor when he gets there.

“Holy fuck. What was that?”

He feels the pinch where his cock is trapped from the way he’s sitting, and he’s so turned on.

And so, SO confused.

 

Jisung is thankful that Minho didn’t notice the face on the magazine he was looking at when Minho came in, and that he didn’t see the blinking red lights from the cameras aimed at Jisung.

Chapter 2: 2 – Your Body’s on Fire, My Soul Is In Flames

Summary:

Jisung gets scared. Minho has a revelation.

Chapter title from Neon by One Ok Rock.

Jisung just sits there, at the end of the bed, screaming internally.

No thoughts except “OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD MINHO HEARD ME” on loop.

He’s really, really trying not to freak the fuck out.

“Shit! Did I pause the stream?”

He looks at the cameras and sees them steadily blinking at him and sends up a little thanks to whoever.

They’re paused.

He pats around on the bed behind him, hand finding his fuzzy quokka mask that he had on for his stream.

“Thank fuck I had enough brain left to take this off before he saw me. How would I have explained why I was wearing this while “sampling” lewd noises?”

He puts it back on and reaches for his phone.

Unpauses his stream.

Looks around to make sure his cameras are no longer blinking at him, rather that they have a steady light indicating they’re live.

He leans forward, looking directly into the camera that’s aimed at his masked face, only his eyes and lips showing through their respective holes.

“Um…ohmygod…I-I’m s-so sor-sorry for the pa-pause,” he stammers out.

In the meantime, chat explodes:

[potato_skz]: who walked in?

[sexypup]: what the fuck happened? You just….stopped

[sunshinetwink0915]: you ok, babe? You look like you just saw JYP naked or smth

“My Min…my roommate p-poked his head in,” he says, drawing out the last word.

“S-said he he-heard something and w-wanted to make sure I was ok.”

Oh god. He wants to cry. Can even feel the tears starting to form. 

He takes some deep breaths to calm himself, so he can resume.

[bin.fire.chili.crab]: LMAO – he walked in on you about to fuck yourself. Nice-uh!

[potato_skz]: lock your door next time?

[iloveflowers]: u r so lucky u still had ur clothes on

Jisung’s stream doesn’t have a huge number of people watching right now, especially after the abrupt pause.

He’s still fairly new at being a camboy – only a month or so in - so he’s building up his followers.

There are a few people who subscribe who are there every time he streams, commenting during his lives and sending private messages.

He responds to the nice ones.

Only to the supportive ones.

The douchebags can fuck right on off. He has no time for that kind of negative bullshit.

“I think I’m going to need to end this stream for tonight,” Jisung says to his fans, voice small, hoping they'll understand.

“I’m really sorry, but I don’t feel comfortable resuming my, um, activities, knowing my roommate heard me and is home now. I’ll do an extra stream soon to make up for it, though. Comment your ideas.”

...all said in a quiet voice, afraid that he'll be heard by Minho if he's any louder. He has no idea where in the apartment Minho is right now.

Jisung ends the stream with a deep sigh, his logo – “little baby_bug” written in pink and green on the screen.

“Ugh…how much money did I just lose? FUCK!”

Another realization comes quick on the heels of that one...

“Oh god. What am I going to do about Minho?”

He picks up the magazine with none other than his roommate’s face on it. And on that, a tiny bug, high on his cheek.

---

Minho’s head is swirling.

He’s still planted on his ass out in the hallway, where he stopped functioning after looking in on Jisung.

Still hard.

Still aching.

Not willing to do anything about his, er, situation…yet.

He needs to know what his Bug was doing in there.

Minho is no prude.

Guys jerk off. A lot.

Hell, he jerks off a lot.

But he’s never heard Jisung jerking off, and certainly not at 7pm, when anyone could hear him.

And why make up some bullshit excuse of “sampling noises for a new sexy song?”

Why not just say he’s jerking off, tell Minho to get the fuck out and finish up?

Something feels off, and Minho hates it when things are off.

Maybe he should call Chan and ask him if they’re actually writing a new song, like Jisung said.

And WHY THE FUCK is he still turned on?

For fucks sake.

He watches just as much porn as the next gay, so yeah, hearing those kinds of noises might get him going.

But this feels different.

He can’t get them out of his head.

They’re playing on repeat.

His Bug. Making those kinds of noises.

How long was Jisung making those noises?

He's this screwed up and he barely heard that much. 

A thought suddenly takes root…maybe he was recording them...but for someone that Minho doesn't know about.

Or...OR...even worse, was he…oh god he’s going to puke…having phone sex?

He literally retches.

Minho cannot stop the spiral, can’t slow down his brain.

And he doesn’t even understand WHY he’s spiraling about this.

Until he does.

“Oh, fuck me with a pogo stick,” he says under his breath.

He. Has. A. Crush.

How did he not know this?

Minho is abso-fucking-lutely screwed.

Chapter 3: 3 - The Weight of Your Name Gonna Keep Me Steady

Summary:

Minho takes care of his...issue.

Chapter title from So Far Gone by ONE OK ROCK.

After the shock of that little revelation wears off a bit, Minho gets up.

Stands there.

Tries not to let his monkey brain control his actions.

Because what Minho wants to do is walk back up the hall to Jisung’s room, force the door open (because he’s assuming his Bug wised up and locked the damn thing) and tell Jisung that they are going to talk.

RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

But he doesn’t.

Firstly, he is still dealing with his not-so-little frontal issue.

Secondly, what would he even say?

“Hey, Sungie. Um…like I just realized I have a crush on you after hearing your, er, sex noises. I’m really turned on, as evidenced by my massive hard on. Can we fuck about it?” Yeah, that’s gonna go over well.

Orrrrr….let’s try this one. “Bug, why don’t you try making those sexy sounds for me to hear? I’ll give you some feedback on them, and yanno, I just need more material so I can go jerk off. I can’t walk around with this kickstand all night.”

What the hell is wrong with him?

Clearly his brain isn’t working currently if he thinks being anywhere near Jisung at the moment is the right move.

He doesn’t need more material.

He’s just horny and needs to go take care of it.

Maybe getting laid would help? He could call one of his regular hookups for some help.

Maybe he should just go take a shower and go to bed.

If he jerks off in the shower and thinks about Jisung and his noises, that’s between him and the drain.

Minho decides to take care of himself. It’s just easier.

And honestly, the thoughts of being with someone else gives him the ick. Ugh, he’s gonna have to think about that now.

Once that’s decided, he pads back down the hallway toward the kitchen and his room, which is on the other side of the apartment from Jisung’s.

They really lucked out with their living arrangements; the apartment is huge – 3 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, a big living room, a dining area, large kitchen with an island and a breakfast nook (and a pantry!), laundry room, and a great amount of closet/storage space. Not only is there a lot of space, there are tons of windows in the apartment, giving beautiful natural light.

And bonus, the cats love the windows!

There’s even a balcony. Which neither really uses because they’re both scared of heights.

When he gets to his room, he asks himself again if he’s really going to do this.

His brain supplies an immediate answer of “yes Minho…are you an idiot? If you don’t get your hand on your dick in the next 4 minutes….”

Right.

Minho walks over to his en suite and turns on the shower to get the water warmed up.

He quickly walks to his bedroom to grab his night clothes, which are a pair of soft, thin shorts and a tank top.

Walking back into the bathroom, he closes the door, flips on a low light and starts stripping.

He starts with the top button of his shirt, a long sleeve button down, opening it with one hand.

As he moves down the shirt, continuing to open the buttons with one hand, he strokes the skin of his chest.

It’s soft and hairless, but he can feel the muscle underneath that he works so hard for.

He is extremely fit, eating a healthy diet and exercising to keep his body perfect.

He has his shirt completely open now, hand lightly running over his abs, watching the muscles contract where he touches them.

He moves his hand back up to his chest, bringing his other hand up as well, to touch both his pecs, then moving down to ghost over and around his nipples.

He shivers at the contact.

He’s still so aroused and only getting hotter.

He pushes the shirt completely off his body and his hands head for the top button of his pants.

He’s wearing a pair of button fly jeans today and wishing now that he hadn’t chosen these.

Every time he opens a button, he feels the slight pressure against his hard cock, eliciting a tiny groan of pleasure.

He finally gets through unbuttoning them and pushes them down his thighs, then off his feet, taking his socks with him.

He’s still in his skull & bones lift trunks – black…not that he really needs help with his ass, but hey, he’s just a man who wants to look amazing in his jeans. Can’t fault him for that, right? And he likes the way they angle down a bit in the front.

He palms himself through his trunks, moaning at the contact. Feeling the damp spot where his cock has dribbled pre-cum. 

Minho walks over to the shower and checks the water temp.

Perfect.

He slips his underwear off, makes sure he has a towel over the warming rack, and hops into the shower.

Minho takes a moment to get his hair and body wet, turns away from the spray of the shower head, then grabs his bodywash and squirts some into his hand.

He glides his hand down his body slowly, trying to take his time and not just start rutting into his fist.

Eventually he reaches his cock, hand still slick with bodywash.

He runs his thumb over the head, teasing the slit a bit, then moves his hand down his length, tip to base, then back up.

He throws his head back and moans.

It’s so good.

Up. Down. Up. Down.

A good pace, not too slow, not too fast, sometimes a little twist at the end of the upstroke.

His helpful brain pipes up and reminds him that he’s doing so well not thinking about those delicious noises Jisung was making in his room.

SHIT.

It’s over for him.

His hand speeds up of its own accord.

Every fucking sound that he heard from Jisung is playing on repeat in his brain.

Oh…oh, great.

Now he’s imaging Jisung on his knees in front of him in the shower, black hair weighted down with the spray of water, big brown eyes looking up from under his lashes.

Staring up at Minho.

Waiting.

In his mind, Minho nods and Jisung smiles his beautiful heart shaped smile then licks a stripe up Minho’s cock, base to tip, puts it in his mouth, then moans around it.

He hears more sounds in his head, imagines Jisung’s mouth moving on him, hand gaining speed, feeling his orgasm about to hit.

And…OH GOD…it hits and he cums all over his hand and the shower wall, huffing out Jisung’s name.

Not quietly.

Minho hunches over a bit while he works himself through his orgasm.

He stands there, under the spray, as he watches the evidence of his foray into jerking off to thoughts of his best friend wash down the drain.

Minho finishes up in the shower and shuts off the water.

He grabs the warm towel, dries off and gets out of the shower enclosure.

He goes through his night time routine – gets dressed, brushes his teeth, fixes his hair, does the 12 million step skincare routine – then goes into his room and gets into bed.

He picks up his phone, looks through the notifications and decides to ignore all of them.

Then he wonders if he should text Jisung to tell him they should talk the next day…or if he should just leave it alone and see what happens.

He decides to leave it for the night and let things play out as they will.

He has no idea that Jisung had come into his room to talk while Minho was in the shower.

With his dick in his hand.

Cumming with his best friend’s name on his lips.

Not quietly.

Chapter 4: 4 – Sound the Alarm, Shatter Me Like Glass

Summary:

Jisung tries to figure out what to do...and gets a surprise.

Chapter title from Vandalize by ONE OK ROCK.

Jisung looks at the magazine in his hand.

The one with Minho’s face on the cover.

Jisung likes to imagine that the tiny bug sitting on Minho’s cheek is representative of himself. That no matter where Minho is or what he’s doing, some piece of Jisung accompanies him.

There’s so much more, other things he thinks and feels, but he can’t go down that rabbit hole right now. Not with what’s happened tonight.

He falls back on his bed, with the magazine covering his face while he screams quietly into it.

“What have I done? And what am I going to do?” he wonders to himself.

The right thing to do is to grow a spine and talk to Minho.

To be honest with him.

But he can’t.

He’s afraid of Minho’s reaction – his disappointment? - and all the accompanying questions about why he’s camming.

So…lying it is.

Yay.

Part of the problem is that Jisung is an incredibly shitty liar.

He can’t remember half the lies he’s told and has gotten caught so many times that he’s just stopped lying for the sake of his dignity and his sanity.

The other part of the problem is that he doesn’t want to lie to Minho. It feels wrong.

Damn it.

This is so confusing.

“I need to talk this through with someone.”

One of his friends knows of his online...adventures.

He texts him.

To: SUNSHINE TWINK (FELIX) 11/3/25, 7:34pm

Felix, you there? I think I fucked up. I need heeeellllppppp!

To: LITTLEBABY_BUG (JISUNG) 11/3/25, 7:34pm

Ji…calm down. I’m here. What happened?

Jisung: Minho heard me.

Felix: Heard you what exactly?

Jisung: Heard me…um, making sounds?

Felix: Jisung. Just fucking tell me!

Jisung: fine. Ughhhhhh….I’d just started my stream and Minho came home. I didn’t hear him. I thought he’d be out longer. He said he heard something weird coming from my room and wanted to check on me. So he called out right before he opened my door. Then HE OPENED IT!

Felix: ok?

Jisung: ASDLKJDS! Are you joking? HE HEARD ME MAKING…LIKE, SEX NOISES.

Felix: yah, then what happened?

Jisung: Right before the door opened I tore my quokka mask off, shoved it behind me and paused the cameras/stream. I told him…oh my god, I’m such a fuckup

Felix: told him what?

Jisung: I told him I was trying out some new sounds for a sexy song we’re working on. What the entire fuck was I thinking?

Felix: then what happened?

Jisung: I was blushing like the fucking inexperienced virgin I am, and he left, saying he'd just wanted to make sure I was ok. I don’t know if he believed me or not. WHAT DO I DO?!?! I. Am. SPIRALING.

Felix: breathe, Jisung. Just breathe. It’s ok.

Jisung: no, but like fr...what do I do? I don’t think I can talk to him about this. But I probably need to. What do I tell him?

Felix: just tell him you were jerking off. Everyone jerks off.

Jisung: at 7 o’clock in the evening on a Tuesday?

Felix: ig? Whenever the urge hits…

Jisung: omg this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me

Felix: we know that’s not remotely true…well, mostly not true

Jisung: I shouldn’t tell him about my streaming, right?

Felix: absolutely the fuck not. Why? Do you want to?

Jisung: I mean, kinda. I hate keeping secrets from Minho. And I’m such a bad liar.

Felix: that you are

Jisung: wow. thanks. asshole

Felix: go talk to him. let me know what happens

Jisung: fine

Jisung: thanks, lixie

 

Jisung decides to go talk to Minho.

Now, while he feels like he can do it.

He gets off the bed and soundlessly walks to his door.

He turns the knob one degree at a time and opens the door just a tiny bit, making sure nobody is in the hallway.

He pulls it open a little further and peeks his head out just until he can look toward the kitchen.

He almost slams the door shut on his face when he sees Minho getting up off the floor, putting a hand to his crotch.

But that part doesn’t really register.

Just that Minho is RIGHT THERE!

But before Jisung can do anything, Minho walks off toward his room.

Jisung stays where he is for 60 seconds – he counts.

Then he opens the door open enough for him to get out of his room, steps into the hallway and just listens.

He knows he’s going to talk to Minho, but he just needs a few minutes to gather his thoughts.

This conversation is going to be embarrassing as fuck.

“Yeah, hyung. I was just beating off, and sometimes I get a little loud. I wasn’t thinking about you or anything. And I DEFINITELY wasn’t streaming me fisting my cock while wearing a quokka mask. Nothing like that at all. Nope. No sir.”

“Fuck my life.”

Jisung takes a few more deep breaths, then makes his way in the general direction of Minho’s room.

He stops in the kitchen for a sip of water and sees the groceries and sushi take-out that Minho had left in there before this whole sex debacle happened.

He’s close enough to Minho’s room to hear the shower start up, so he takes the time to put the groceries away and eat his portion of the sushi.

He leaves the rest for Minho in the fridge.

When he’s done, he heads into Minho’s room, with the intention of sitting on his bed to wait for him to get out of the shower.

Timing is not on Jisung’s side.

Or maybe not on Minho’s.

Anyway, Jisung walks into Minho’s room.

As he’s walking past the door to the bathroom he hears Minho’s voice…but it sounds weird.

"Jisung,” Minho moans out, loudly.

“What the - .” Jisung stands there, rooted to the spot.

“O-OH! OH M-MY FUCKING GOD,” he stutters out.

He knows what that sound means.

He hears it from himself whenever he cums.

Jisung walks out of Minho’s room.

Runs back to his own and collapses on the bed, hard and unsure what to do with what he heard.

The reason for going to Minho’s room completely forgotten.

Buried under the debris in his head.

This is…fuck.

FUCK.

Chapter 5: 5 - Woke Up in Hell for a Day

Summary:

Jisung has a panic attack. It's a bad one. We're going to learn a lot about Ji in this chapter.

Chapter title from Neon by ONE OK ROCK.

Notes:

I'm so sorry. Please forgive me, but I absolutely HAD to use the word obstreperously in this fic. It is such an unhinged sounding word. It just means loudly.

Minho finally drifts off at around 2am. Jisung around 3:30am.

Jisung wakes up at 10am, feeling like shit.

Not nearly enough sleep for a regular day, and definitely not enough sleep for this day.

He usually gets a little peace from his overactive brain while he wakes up.

Things filtering back into his brain one by one, but not today.

Everything from yesterday comes back – quickly and obstreperously.

His anxiety reappears like it wants revenge. The thoughts rippling and undulating through his head, like they’re alive and looking for ways to kill him. He’s been here before.

Jisung was diagnosed with anxiety, ADHD and SPD a few years ago.

Finally.

Finally, he knew what to call it.

He knows that anxiety and ADHD are often co-morbid, and lucky him – he got both, along with a side of Sensory Processing Disorder.

What fun.

His parents were never very helpful with any of it.

Always telling him to focus more.

Stop fidgeting. Stop talking. Get up off the floor. Stop sitting upside down on the couch. Stop making weird vocal noises. Stop asking for tight hugs and running into the walls.

Be normal, for Christ’s sake.

They didn’t understand. And maybe they didn’t care to.

Instead of helping him they belittled him.

They could have taken him to a psychologist.

Then they would have figured out that he had ADHD and anxiety, and the two together made it hard to focus.

They could have found out how hard it was on him to always be a problem, never doing anything right because he was either in his head because of the anxiety or doing something wrong because of the ADHD.

They could have taken him to an occupational therapist and found out that he had Sensory Processing Disorder.

They could have found out how SPD impacted his day-to-day life, especially as a vulnerable child.

He couldn’t stand light touch. He couldn't stand for people, like teachers, to grab his wrist to get his attention when he wasn’t able to listen. That kind of touch made his skin itch.

He didn’t feel good in his own body. And it made him act out for reasons he couldn’t verbalize.

It made him run into other children, trying to get the deep input his body craved.

He wasn’t a mean or bad kid, he just needed help.

His parents could have helped him, but they didn’t.

He found out about the SPD after his ADHD diagnosis, because he talked to his therapist about how he felt so antsy and uncomfortable in his own skin.

SPD doesn’t stop when you become an adult; it just manifests differently.

If his body doesn’t get the deep sensory input it needs, he feels more anxious. And that adds to the anxiety he already lives with daily.

It can be a vicious cycle.

Having ADHD on top of all that doesn’t help.

And guess what? He’s also extremely smart.

High IQ.

Gifted.

Twice exceptional, they would have called him when he was in school.

Yanno, if he’d been diagnosed.

He thinks about this a lot.

If his parents had just taken him to a psychologist when he was a kid, maybe he would have coped better.

At least they would have known what they were dealing with instead of thinking that Jisung was lazy and attention seeking.

Of course, he wouldn’t have had all the experiences he had.

And isn’t there some saying about having a difficult life being perfect for writing songs?

Lots of stuff to draw from and all that, which is helpful since he writes songs as part of his job.

Jisung doesn’t like his parents very much, and he doesn’t think they like him much either.

They love him…at least a little, but like?

It’s a difficult relationship.

And one he doesn’t talk about a lot.

But Minho knows.

Because Minho is his best friend, and he knows pretty much everything there is to know about Jisung.

Except this one thing…

Not being able to talk to Minho about this has him fucked up.

Felix is great, he loves Felix.

But Felix is not Minho.

He’s getting worked up, circling thoughts of his streaming, lying to Minho, not feeling like he can tell Minho, what’s going to happen if Minho finds out, Minho, Minho, Minho.

His breathing is too fast, but he can’t slow it down.

It feels like a storm brewing in his head.

None of the tricks are working.

He’s trying to count – 5 things he can see, 4 things he can touch, 3 things he can hear, 2 things he can smell, 1 thing he can taste. He can’t even get to 4 because he can’t THINK.

He's trying to breathe, but can't get a deep enough breath in.

He feels like he's dying, even though he knows he's not.

Maybe it’s a good thing he’s been in this situation so many times before.

At this point it’s instinct to get to the kitchen to get an ice cube.

When he gets to the kitchen Minho is there making breakfast.

Because of fucking course he is.

Jisung can’t even have a panic attack in private.

He grabs an ice cube from the freezer and puts it in his mouth.

Just to hold it there, focus on the cold.

Minho turns around from the stove, where he’s frying eggs and bacon.

“Jisung? What’s going on? Are you ok?”

Jisung is very obviously not ok.

Minho realizes that Jisung is in the midst of a significant panic attack, moves the cooking eggs and bacon to a burner that’s off and turns his attention back to him.

“Jisung.” Minho practically yells at him.

“Jisung! Look at me.” Sometimes when he’s having a panic attack, an authoritative voice can get through to him. It does this time.

He turns toward Minho, eyes big and teary, hand over his chest, trying to pull air into his lungs.

Minho grabs his hand.

“Ji. Can you look at my eyes?” He drags his eyes up to Minho’s.

“I want you to try to breathe with me. Box Breathing, ok? We’ve done this and we know it works.”

He nods, brain still underwater with his panic.

“Ready? Inhale through your nose, 4 seconds. Hold, 4 seconds. Exhale through your mouth, 4 seconds.” He nods again.

“Let’s start.”

Minho tightens his hold on Jisung’s hand to keep him focused on him, then starts the breathing technique.

He squeezes his hand for the 4 second inhale – squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze. Then the 4 second hold. Then the 4 second exhale.

12 squeezes per cycle.

He sees Jisung’s breathing start to slow after the 8^th cycle.

By the 12^th cycle Minho can see Jisung coming back into himself.

By the 16^th cycle, Jisung is breathing normally and standing up straighter.

He lets go of Minho’s hand.

“You there?” Jisung wipes his face and nods his head.

“Yeah.” Deep breath. “Yeah.” Nods again.

“Thank you, hyung. That was a brutal one.”

“What’s going on, Bug?”

Jisung’s eyes fill with tears again at the pet name.

He feels like he doesn’t deserve that level of love from someone he’s actively lying to.

He tries so hard to keep the tears from falling.

They spill down his face anyway.

He wants Minho to go away but he needs him to stay there.

He sobs, chest heaving with the effort.

His breaths are absolutely ragged.

He’s exhausted with himself. With his brain. His emotions. Everything.

“Bug. What’s wrong?”

Why does Minho have to be so kind?

It’s simultaneously making Jisung feel better and worse.

“Is this about yesterday?” Minho doesn’t want to ask, but it’s the only thing he can think of.

It’s the only problem he knows about.

Jisung freezes.

In his overwrought brain he wonders which of the things Minho is referring to about yesterday.

Thinking he caught Jisung jerking off and Jisung obviously lying about it?

Remembering that he came in the shower to thoughts of Jisung?

And of course, Jisung’s brain helpfully adds in the thing that Minho doesn’t know about.

“What do you think, Minho?” Jisung says in a small, dead voice.

“What do you think?”

Chapter 6: 6 – Wanna Scream…Wanna Scream Like a Banshee

Summary:

Minho and Jisung sort of talk. Neither is completely honest.

Chapter title from Nasty by ONE OK ROCK.

Minho is freaking the fuck out. He has no clue what to say to Jisung right now and the urge to run away is nearly overwhelming.

Running is easy.

This…this isn’t.

He hates feelings. 

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath to try to calm himself.

All he can see on the backs of his eyelids is the look on Jisung’s tear stained face.

Abject fear. Wait. Fear? What the hell? Why is his Jisungie afraid?

He recognizes that this has something to do with yesterday. But he doesn’t understand why Jisung looks…afraid?

Embarrassed? Sure. But fear makes no sense. 

He pops his eyes open.

“Sungie. Why do you look scared?”

Jisung can tell Minho anything…anything…and Minho won’t judge him. He’d give Jisung the shirt off his back. His last dollar. Support him through everything. 

“You’ve gotta talk to me. I don’t know how to help you with whatever is going on if you don’t tell me.”

Jisung stares at him, eyes big, shedding tears even though his body is eerily still. 

Minho reaches out to put his hand on Jisung’s shoulder. He flinches at the touch. Minho is…shocked. Jisung has never acted like he didn’t want his touch before, but he leaves his hand where it is. Maybe he needs the touch as much he thinks his friend does. He’s not sure.

Minho starts the conversation with what he is sure is at least part of the problem from yesterday.

“Jisungie. It’s ok to be embarrassed about me kind of walking in on you jerking off, or whatever you were doing. It happens. We’re both healthy guys in our 20s. I’m actually surprised that it hasn’t happened before now, with as long as we’ve lived together. I was worried when I came home last night because I heard something coming from your room, and I didn’t realize what the sounds were until I was there…but by that time it was kinda too late and I’d already come in. I’m so sorry that I barged in and kinda made you talk about it.”

Minho knows he’s babbling but he isn’t sure what else to do. Jisung hasn’t moved.

Minho can’t stop himself - this has been bothering him since last night and he has to know. “Why did you tell me you were, um…making those kinds of sounds for a new song? You always tell me what you’re working on and you’ve never said anything about a song like that. I’m not mad, Sungie. I’m just confused.”

“For more reasons than one,” he mumbles under his breath.

He hasn’t forgotten about his physical reaction to hearing his best friend.

He hasn’t forgotten anything about that. 

He’d spent the better part of the night trying NOT to think about it. Couldn’t fall asleep for hours. 

After he got into bed, he tried to put the whole situation out of his head.

Effort. In. Futility. 

He came thinking of Jisung on his knees, working him with his mouth. How could he have possibly put that out of his mind? 

He is, without question, bad at feelings.

He doesn’t know what to do with them, where to put them, how to deal with them.

So typically he just…doesn’t.

It’s worked for him in the past. Ok, that’s absolute bullshit. But he’d have to be honest with himself about it, and he is not a paragon of honesty in this situation.

How can he have those types of thoughts about his best friend?

And this is nothing to say about the FEELINGS he realized he has.

He feels sick. What is wrong with him? What kind of a person does shit like this?

He feels dirty. 

He’s so in his head that he doesn’t know how long he’s been stalled…standing there, probably looking like the fucking moron that he is.

So he yanks himself back to reality and asks Jisung again. “Why are you scared, Bug?”

Again with the goddamn flinching. Minho doesn’t like this. 

For however “smart” Jisung is supposed to be, he doubts it all.

If he were smart, he wouldn’t be standing in front of Minho, having a fucking panic attack, unable to control his reactions and apparently showing his stupid, stupid emotions on his stupid, stupid face.

Yes, he’s scared. Fucking terrified. If he were smart, he’d laugh this off and tell Minho he’s imagining things. Tell him he isn’t scared and that Min is reading the whole situation wrong.

But he’s not smart.

He’s a shitty liar, but he’s gonna try, he guesses. He can’t let on that he heard Minho moan his name last night. And he’s definitely going nowhere near the sexy streaming topic. 

“Minho,” he says in a quiet voice. “I’m scared because I don’t want things to get weird.”

He realizes that he’s the one making them weird. “I thought maybe you were grossed out by what you heard. And mad or hurt because I tried to play it off.” 

“I don’t know how to act about this and it’s all I can think about.”

Minho pulls Jisung in for a hug, hoping that he’ll be okay with it. He is.

Jisung makes himself accept the hug. He knows he needs it, and he can't stand the look on Minho's face when he flinched earlier. 

They stay like that until Jisung takes a deep breath and pulls away.

“I need to be alone. Please don’t take this for anything other than what it is - me needing my space to overthink.” He gives a weak laugh at his dumb joke, which is also the truth, and looks up at his friend. 

Minho nods. “I get it, Sungie. Just please, please know that we’re good. I’m fine, not grossed out or anything. And I'm not mad. I just want us to be normal. Well, normal for us.”

“Anyway….”

They both go to their rooms.

Nothing resolved. 

No truth between them.

Chapter 7: 7 - Tryin’ to find some inner peace, Apocalyptic tendencies

Summary:

Jisung gets retail therapy (online) and Minho gets the shock of his life.

Chapter title from Dystopia by ONE OK ROCK.

Jisung walks to his room, head down, feet dragging. He feels sad and upset.

He and Minho, they never clash. They don’t have disagreements. They just don’t.

Their other friends get into it, but never them. People think they’re weird because of their relationship. But to them, it’s normal.

Jisung and Minho. Minho and Jisung. They just are. 

He hates the distance he feels between them. But he doesn’t see a way out of the situation, so he decides to divert his own attention with something shiny.

He’s learned over the years that some people with ADHD ruminate on things, and holy shit, does he. So to help combat the thoughts that keep trying to overwhelm him and drag him down, he decides to focus on something else.

Something fun that’s pretty much guaranteed to keep his attention. SHOPPING! 

Jisung LOVES shopping.

Since he’s a homebody and an introvert, most shopping is done online.

And this kind of shopping definitely needs to be done in the privacy of his own room.

He’s set aside some money to go shopping for cute things to wear on his streams. And maybe in public.

He goes back and forth on whether he should try wearing skirts in public.

He’s experienced his share of homophobic remarks and isn’t keen on repeating the experience. BUT, he feels like he should be able to wear what he wants and not be made to feel like a freak. He doesn’t think clothes have gender, but society seems to think they do. 

Jisung wants particular types of skirts. Maybe a couple tight ones, like pencil skirts almost, and some pleated ones as well. They need to be short, but not too short. He also needs to watch the length because he isn’t super tall, though he does have long legs. Nice legs, if he does say so himself. 

In addition to the skirts, he wants to buy tops to match. Probably crop tops.

And some thigh high stockings and socks, and also some lingerie type items.

He wishes there was a store he could go to to try the intimate items on, but he’s not aware of any places that welcome men, and he’d have to leave the apartment.

He also needs to purchase a few new toys and some other accessories. He feels like he needs to keep things fresh and exciting, both to grow his fan base and keep the ones he has. 

Jisung gets to work, spending the next few hours finding and ordering almost all of the items he's looking for. He may have spent a bit more than he anticipated thus far, but he is ok with it, knowing he’ll probably make enough to cover it on his next stream. 

He ends up with 5 new skirts: black with box pleats, grey and pink plaid pleated with a lace underlay at the hem, army green slim pleated skirt with grommets around the hem that will be good to run a sexy chain through…maybe connected to his clamps, black tight high waisted tube skirt that showcases his ass and his bulge, and a pink circle mini skirt, because who doesn’t love to twirl in a skirt?

He decides that he may not need to purchase as many tops as he thought because he has quite a few, and he knows Felix has some things that will fit him.

He did purchase a tight cropped tank top to match the grey and pink plaid skirt, as well as a cropped black distressed sweater to go with the army green skirt. It’s kind of slouchy and will hang off a shoulder nicely, and make it easy to complete the look with slouchy black socks and his combat boots.

He really likes cropped shirts because they show off his abs. 

Jisung has a nice body. He’s worked on it over the years. And exercise really helps control his ADHD symptoms and the sensory issues. He’s not huge, but he’s toned, shaped like an inverted triangle, with a tiny waist and a nice ass.

Like, really nice. Perfectly shaped and looks amazing in everything he wears. It even bounces a bit, so he knows he still has enough fat back there.

He moves on to the lingerie, and finds enough different items to keep his subscribers happy for a while.

He likes pretty things, so there’s lace and faux fur, silk and satin. But he also likes collars and leather, so he gets some of that too.

He gets a combo plate of panties, garter belts, bralets and a really pretty lace nightie. Oh! And a short silk robe. In pink.

He is able to find a variety of over the knee socks and thigh highs to match his new outfits. 

He doesn’t need shoes - he has plenty of boots that will match. 

Overall he’s thrilled with what he’s ordered and can’t wait to get it all. It should arrive in a few days. 

After all this and not getting enough sleep, etc, he's exhausted. He still needs to figure out which toys and accessories he wants for his stream, but after visiting 4 different websites, he hasn’t found much that he wants to buy.

His eyes are starting to blur, so he decides to take a nap. 

He crawls into bed and immediately makes himself into a burrito with his covers. He feels warm and safe, so he falls asleep quickly. 

 

Minho feels terrible about the whole interaction with Jisung earlier in the day.

He’s had some time to think, and has decided that he needs to stay true to what he said and get back to normal with their relationship.

He knows the way to do that is to do the things they’d normally do - eat together, watch anime or a movie together, or let Ji pick out some conspiracy theory documentary and discuss it after.

He feels good about this plan, so he walks to Jisung’s room and knocks on the door. When there’s no answer he gets a little concerned, still reacting to the panic attack and the sobbing before.

So he knocks again, then listens at the door just to make sure he’s not interrupting anything. (See? He can learn.)

Then he opens it.

Jisung is sleeping in his bed, wrapped up like the cutest little bug he’s ever seen. He walks over and tucks the burrito’d covers tighter around him.

It’s as he’s turned to walk back to the door to leave that he notices the computer monitor.

Well, actually, what’s on the monitor.

Creature Cocks Monstropus Tentacled Dildo. 

What. The. Fuck.

Chapter 8: 8 - I Wish I Could Save You From the Pain You’ve Been Through

Summary:

Minho reminisces about the past.

Chapter title from Listen by ONE OK ROCK.

Minho suspends function, actually tripping over his own feet at the website, and hits the floor with his knees.

“Shit!” he yelps.

Slaps his hand over his mouth in horror.

He slowly turns, raising his body up to look over the end of the bed, hoping against hope that his loud ass hasn’t woken up his roommate. 

Jisung turns over, opens his bleary eyes for a moment, confused at the noise. “Hyung?” Then just as quickly, closes his eyes and falls back asleep. 

“Fuuuuuucccckkkkk,” Minho mouths. 

Minho carefully and silently gets to his feet, walks out of the room, closing the door quietly behind himself. His knees hurt, but he barely realizes it. 

His mind is abuzz, wondering why the hell Sungie was looking at dildos…particularly tentacle dildos.

He’s beginning to wonder just how much he doesn’t know about his best friend. 

 

Minho remembers when they first met. Jisung was 15 and Minho was 17.

Minho had just met an 18 year old Chan.

Chan was starting his first year of university for music production, though he’d been writing and producing, self-taught, for a couple years already.

The year before, Chan, his friend Changbin and Jisung had formed a music production group called 3RACHA.

They were all so talented, even so young.

Chan could play piano and guitar, sing, rap AND write lyrics and produce music.

Changbin was a senior in high school. He had a great singing voice, but it was his skill at rapping that made him stand out.

And he rapped fassssttttt. He intrinsically knew how to accentuate the right words, ad lib and act when he rapped.

Jisung…Jisung was, well, a lot.

That kid was dripping with talent, and attitude.

Sooo much attitude.

His singing was amazing. His rap? Oh man…the way he spit was like nothing Minho had ever experienced.

But it was his song writing that made him stand out. He was, and still is, a fucking lyrical genius.

What made it even more impressive is the way he was able to mix languages - English, Korean, Japanese were the main ones, but he also spoke Malay, having learned it when he lived in Malaysia for a while.

Smart, that one. So damn smart.

Like Chan, Jisung also played guitar -  not as well as Chan, but he was quickly learning, and getting really good at it.

He still plays guitar, and he’s definitely improved.

All 3 of those boys have grown further into their talent over the years, with each of them earning degrees and certificates in music production and sound engineering.

Their unique perspectives and skill sets and interests complement each other, so there is rarely any conflict between them over the music they write. It’s actually kind of beautiful to watch them work together.  

It was also around the same time period that he met the other guys - Hyunjin, Felix, Seungmin and baby Jeongin. Ok, he wasn’t really a baby, but he’ll always be the baby, yanno?

They were all so young and so ambitious.

He was thrilled to meet people around his own age who had similar passions as his. He, Felix and Hyunjin were the dancers of the friend group, while Seungmin and Jeongin did vocals. 

 

Minho and Jisung were fast friends. From day one they just clicked. Always ending up at the other’s house, happy to be together. 

Their relationship was easy. It’s always been easy. There was no awkwardness between them. They could talk or not talk. It didn’t matter. As long as they were together in some way, they were good. 

He remembers Jisung at 15. He was wild. And his attitude was off the chain. This was right before he stopped living with his parents and moved in with Chan and Changbin for a while.

Minho was glad Jisung got out of that hellhole. His parents were awful to him, treating him more as a problem than their son. It made Minho feel crazy to hear about that shit, and to witness it in person the few times that he did.

He could never understand it. His parents were amazing to him. They have always been supportive of him - when he came out at 16, when he decided to be a dancer, when he put his dancing on hold to follow other interests. His parents have always been a safe place for him.

To see his best friend treated so poorly…it hurts him to this day to think about it. He knows Sungie bears the scars from it. 

It took years of hard work with his therapist before Jisung was able to see his worth and not feel like a burden to people.

And Minho was always there for him. A steadying force in his life, even though he was only 2 years older.

Minho knew what safety felt like, and he wanted that for Jisung, so he made it his mission to show him he could trust Minho.

It was like taming a wild horse. Slow, steady, consistent. Working hard not to spook him.

Of course there were fuck ups, but by that time, their relationship was so strong that they were minor and didn’t happen often. 

People often thought they were a romantic couple. They’d get comments a lot when they went out for coffee dates or just walking along the river. “You make such a cute couple!” “How long have you been together?” That kind of thing.

But it wasn’t that kind of thing.

Not then. 

Yes, they proclaimed themselves soulmates. They didn’t know at the time how much they would lean into that term.

Ten years later and they still exist in each other’s orbit.

They don’t really feel the need to put labels on their relationship, mostly because other than the soulmate thing, which they barely even reference anymore because they and everyone else know it, there really isn’t a word to describe what they are to each other. They’re best friends, but they’re more than that.

If pushed to call their relationship something, maybe “nesting partners in a queerplatonic relationship” would be it. Maybe. Minho isn't so sure about the platonic part. 

But who cares? In reality, they’re Jisung and Minho, Minho and Jisung. 

If people need to label it, whatever. Let them. 

It was serendipitous when Chan and Changbin decided to move to a new apartment, leaving Jisung needing a place to live. Obviously they never would have left him without a place to stay, but Minho moved out at the same time and needed a roommate. It was clear immediately that it would be Jisung. Who else?

That was just about 5 years ago, and they’re still going strong.

They love living together.

Wouldn’t, maybe couldn’t, have it any other way. 

It’s not one-sided. It never has been. It’s just that Minho came from a place of safety and security and Jisung didn’t.

So Jisung depended on, and to an extent still depends on, Minho more than the other way around.

It’s ok, though. We all have our parts to play, and Minho excels at his, especially for his jagi. 

He’s always had a soft spot for this kid.

Always, always.

He doesn’t think it’s possible that he could ever not have one.

Jisung occupies a place in his heart that nobody else even comes close to.

What Minho is sure of is that the universe, no matter how hard it may try, can never break them apart.

They’re fated.

They just are. 

 

Now, whether he’ll make it through this life with Jisung obviously trying to kill him with a tentacle dildo remains to be seen.

But even if he succeeds, they’ll find each other in the next life.

He knows that without a doubt.

Chapter 9: 9 - Wake Up, Go Misbehave

Summary:

Jisung prepares to stream.

Chapter title from Neon by ONE OK ROCK.

Jisung wakes up from his nap around 5pm, stomach growling.

He didn’t have breakfast because of the panic attack and “talk” with Minho earlier, and then he skipped lunch in favor of the great nap he just took.

He really needed it, though.

He glances over to his computer and notices the monitor is still on. “Right, I want to finish finding the new toys and stuff.”

He unrolls from his wrapped up blankets, stretches, then gets out of bed and wanders into the kitchen.

He sees a note on the counter: “Hey Jagiya, I made some food for lunch and left it in the fridge. You can have the rest if you want it. I have a bunch of errands to run, so I’ll be out for a few hours. I hope you’re feeling better. Can we hang out tonight? Text me and let me know. -M” The time on the note says 4pm.

He goes over to the refrigerator and sees that Minho made japchae. He loves Minho’s japchae, so he gets a big bowl of it, warms it up and sits down to eat.

While he’s eating he pulls out his phone, trying to decide if he feels like hanging out with Minho.

He’s still a little unsettled about everything, but he feels like he needs to at least try to be normal around the guy…right? Yeah. Yes. 

 

To: BIG BABY (MINHO) 11/4/25, 5:12pm

Hey Min. Sorry, I fell asleep for a while. Thanks for making the japchae. It was really good. Yeah, let’s catch up on Bleach tonight. How does that sound? 

What time will you be home?

To: LITTLEBABY_BUG (JISUNG) 11/4/25, 5:14pm

Hi jagi, I’m glad you got some sleep. Bleach sounds good. I should be home around 8pm. I’ll text you when I’m on my way. 

Looking forward to it.

 

Jisung notes the time, puts his phone away and cleans up after himself in the kitchen.

He looks around to make sure they have snacks for later. They have Minho’s ice cream, but Jisung is craving some Matdongsan, and they’re out. 

 

To: BIG BABY (MINHO) 11/4/25, 5:17pm

Minhooooo - I really have a taste for Matdongsan. Please, please can you pick some up while you’re out? And anything else you want for snacks. We have your ice cream here. If you see a slice of cheesecake, I’ll take that too. Thanks, jagiya. 

To: LITTLEBABY_BUG (JISUNG) 11/4/25, 5:22pm

Sure thing, bug.

 

On his way back to his room, an idea pops into his head.

“Min said he’d be back around 8pm…it’s almost 5:30 now. I’m going to do a short stream while he’s out. He said he’d text when he’s on his way, so at least I’ll have some notice.”

He finds that funny, given what happened last time he streamed. 

He’s a little nervous about streaming again, but he needs to do it for his subscribers.

He sends out an announcement that he’ll be doing a stream at 6:15 this evening. 

He needs to get ready, so he goes into the bathroom, puts the towel on the warming rack and makes sure he has his razor and shaving gel in the shower.

Everything needs to be smooth for his stream.

He hasn’t had time recently to get waxed, so shaving will have to do for tonight.

He makes a mental note to make a waxing appointment, though. He kind of enjoys the slight pain from waxing. Ok, not kind of. So sue him, he’s a freak. Whatever. He rolls his eyes at himself. 

He starts the water to let it warm up and thinks about what he wants to wear on his stream and what he wants to do while streaming. 

Tonight, he decides, he’s going to try to do more than just jerk off.

While he’s had some sexual experiences, he’s never had actual sex.

He knows he’s gay, having been in intimate situations with a couple women that didn’t do a whole lot for him.

He does like boobs. Who doesn’t? They’re squishy and nice to lay on.

Hell, women are pretty - they’re soft and smell good.

But girls don’t arouse him sexually.

Now, boys? Yes. No question.

Even just kissing boys gets him hard.

Again, though, he hasn’t done much.

One time he and this guy were kissing and the guy let Jisung ride his thigh, and he got off on that. It helped that the guy was spewing filth into his ear every other kiss.

Apparently Jisung likes dirty talk.

Another time, the guy told him how well he was doing while he jerked him off, and he really liked that. 

The last time he was intimate with anyone was over a year ago.

He was so nervous.

He’d never been completely naked with someone else before, and the man he was with definitely wanted to fuck him.

And Jisung wanted to be fucked.

But it just wasn’t right.

They kissed, touched, got naked, and the guy tried to finger him, but Jisung couldn’t relax enough for him to get a finger in. Not one finger. Not even the tip. Nothing.

He was so mortified.

The man was understanding, saying he remembered when he was a virgin and how hard it was to relax.

But in the end Jisung just couldn’t. So he left and that was that. 

He’s a little embarrassed to be 25 and still a virgin.

But he knows eventually he’ll find the right person, and it will be the most beautiful thing when it happens. Jisung is a hopeless romantic. 

Since he started streaming, though, he decided that he would try again, but on his own.

He figures that it will probably be easier if he tries to finger himself, even though he’s read that it can be difficult because of the angle.

He’s committed to trying, though. 

He’s done a lot of research on the subject of anal sex and how to prep for it, so he knows being relaxed and using lots of lube are two of the most important things.

He’s also a little scared of what could happen if he does it wrong. He doesn’t want to tear anything and have to go to the doctor.

How embarrassing would that be?

Hello, anxiety.

Since he and Minho don’t share a bathroom, he feels ok leaving what he calls his “shower lube” in one of the shower niches. Of course he hides it behind a shampoo bottle, just in case. 

Jisung undresses and steps under the hot spray. He groans at how good the water feels.

He washes his hair, then conditions it.

While the conditioner is on, he shaves his legs and underarms.

He doesn’t have chest hair.

He shaves down below, stretching the skin on his balls to make sure he doesn’t cut himself, and shaves the rest of the hair that grows there.

He makes sure to shave his shaft to get the odd little hairs that can grow there, then he does the best he can with shaving between his cheeks.

It’s hard to know if he got everything, so there’s a lot of feeling around, reapplying shaving gel and shaving the areas again. He thinks he gets it all. 

He peeks out of the shower to check the clock on the wall. It’s 5:45. He needs to get moving because there’s some set up he needs to do before the stream. 

He washes his body with his favorite citrus scented body wash, then uses the hand held shower head to wash off. He makes sure to rinse himself off - everywhere - well. 

He starts thinking again of the outfit he wants to wear, which leads to him thinking about what he wants to do on stream.

He’s feeling relaxed from his shower.

He turns off the spray and turns on the overhead heat light so he doesn’t get cold. 

He runs his hands through his hair and pulls gently at first, then harder.

He feels his body starting to respond.

He pulls again and whimpers softly at the tug.

He keeps one hand in his hair while the other skates down one side of his slick body to his nipple.

He pulls gently on the barbell piercing, loving the way it feels to have another point of pleasure.

His other hand leaves his hair to pluck at his other nipple, also pierced, forcing a groan of pleasure from his throat.

His hands move further down his slippery skin, over his 6 pack.

His breath is coming faster.

Further still, until his fingers are just above where his cock juts out.

He raises his foot to rest on the teak shower stool, leg bent at the knee, reaches for his lube and pours some onto his fingers. He warms it for a moment in his hand, then reaches to his hole and starts to massage a finger around it.

It feels so good.

He’s trying hard not to touch his dick during this because he wants to keep that for his stream. It’s difficult, though.

He strokes it, because how can he not.

He keeps circling his rim with his other hand, getting increasingly aroused.

He starts pushing in with his finger.

It’s…okay. He’s doing ok. It feels weird, but he keeps going, pushing in a little further.

He’s at the first knuckle. He pulls it out, adds more lube and goes back in. 

In. Out. In, a little further. Out. Stroke. In.

Now he’s at the second knuckle and he’s starting to moan again.

Out. Stroke.

He goes slowly, finally getting his entire finger in as far as he can.

He reaches below to tug on his balls, finger still working in his ass.

Ok, this feels good. He moves his finger in a tight circle, other hand on the upstroke.

He can’t stop moaning. And he can’t keep his hand off his cock.

He needs to stop. But he can’t.

The sounds coming out of him are loud - whimpers, moans.

They filter into his hazy brain, making an unconscious connection.

Minho’s face comes unbidden into his head.

All he can think is how much he’d rather have Minho’s finger in his ass.

Minho’s hand on his cock.

Minho’s voice telling him he’s a good boy. 

His hand moves faster, he’s almost there.

Minho’s name is on the tip of his tongue. 

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. 

“What the fuck.”

His hands stop.

Oh. It’s the alarm on his phone. He set it so he would have enough time to get ready for his stream in case he got distracted in the shower. Which he did.  

He feels that familiar tightness in his lower abdomen.

He’s glad he stopped when he did. He needs to save his orgasm for his stream. 

He’s going to have to be careful tonight.

He almost came with Minho’s name on his lips.

He can’t do that on camera. 

This is familiar territory.

If it’s a struggle to not sob out his best friend’s name when he cums, that’s between him and his walls in his bedroom.

Chapter 10: 10 - We're Playin Dirty, Dirty, We're In Control

Summary:

Jisung is HORNY, and finishes getting ready for his stream.

Chapter title from Nasty by ONE OK ROCK.

Jisung is fucking horny.

Getting so close to orgasm in the shower has his dick still hard and pulsing.

But needs must, and all that shit, right? 

He grabs the towel off the rack and snuggles into the warmth of it. Whoever invented towel warmers deserves to have both sides of their pillow be cool forever. 

A sharp gasp leaves him as he rubs his sensitive skin dry.

He wraps the towel around himself, under his armpits and tucks the end in. Walks back into his room. 

Time to get ready for his stream. Er, more ready.

He feels empowered now that he’s gotten a finger into himself, and he’s excited to stream. 

He goes over to his closet and pulls one of his smaller suitcases out. It’s where he keeps all his toys and stuff for streaming.

He unzips it, flips the panel up and looks inside.

There’s not much in it because he didn’t want to spend a ton of money until he was sure he liked camming. 

He thought he’d decided what to wear while in the shower, but in the moment he decides to pivot.

He pulls out his favorite panties.

They’re the most beautiful baby pink, with lace inlays at the sides. They have a full back and ride low in the front, barely covering him, especially when he’s aroused, like now.

He digs back into the suitcase and finally finds the skirt he’s looking for.

It’s so cute - black, with pleats, and tiny pink bows around the hem. It sits low on his hips, just the way he likes, but covers the top of the panties easily.

It shows off his piercing, dangling from the top of his belly button. Today’s has a black crystal at the top and a pink dangling crystal riding in the divot.

He loves it - the way it feels when it brushes against his skin, and particularly when it gets pulled a bit.

Not enough to damage anything, just enough to remind him it’s there.

He takes a cropped black tank out of the suitcase and slips it on. It’s tight enough that you can clearly see his nipple piercings through it.

That’s good. That’s what he wants. 

His piercings are a secret. Something he did for himself about 15 months ago. They make him feel powerful and sexy, something he doesn’t feel very often. 

He gets his outfit on and situated the way he wants it.

Decides to pull on the over-the-knee socks he found at a store not long ago. They’re black and have pink bows at the top. They aren’t an exact match to the skirt, but close enough for government work. 

They dig into the meat of his thighs so perfectly. Nice and tight, almost uncomfortable.

The last thing he needs to do is fix his hair and put a little bit of makeup on.

He has pink clip in bows that he pushes into the sides of his hair. He’s not great at doing his hair like this, but it works for now until he has time to figure it out.

He gets out his black eyeliner. It’s the cheapest shit you can find at the convenience store. The kind you have to heat with a lighter to get it to go on smoothly.

He does a thick line on his top lids and a little under his bottom lash line.

His eyelashes are already long and dark, so he doesn’t add anything to them. He puts a thin coating of lip gloss on, and - he’s done. 

Jisung looks at the clock - it’s 6:05. 10 minutes until go-time. That’s fine. Plenty of time to do what he needs to do. 

He zips the suitcase up and puts it over by the closet. 

Time to check the cameras, make sure the angles are still good and nothing accidentally got knocked out of place between streams.

Everything looks good.

He moves on to setting his phone up on the tripod placed at the foot of his bed, so he can see comments and donations, and control his cameras and streaming app. 

The last thing he needs to do is pick a mask.

He’s feeling pretty today, so he goes with a slimmer one, so his hair and bows show.

It also has slightly bigger eye holes, which he likes because his eyes are big and expressive and he wants to use that to his advantage.

It’s a half mask, too, so the bottom part of his face is left uncovered. People love his lips.

Win-win.

He quickly straightens up his bed, pushing all the recognizable items off and out of camera range, making sure the white sheets look good.

He puts his lube, baby wipes and a clean towel within reach. 

Ready to start.

Let’s gooooooo!

Chapter 11: 11 - When You're Covered In Clouds, I'll Show You The Sun

Summary:

Jisung, or HanG in this scene, finishes what he started.

Chapter title from In The Stars by ONE OK ROCK.

The pink and green logo appears on the screen - “little baby_bug.” Then the countdown…3…2…1.

Jisung sees himself on his phone, sitting at the end of his bed. He is looking down at his legs, getting into the headspace to stream.

He uses the name HanG for this work. Kind of a play on his actual name, but hopefully not obvious enough to raise suspicion if someone he knows were to come across his stream. He’s still small enough that it’s not likely, but one never knows. 

The skirt is short enough so that when he sits, it reaches to the tops of his thighs, leaving a bit of his honey toned skin showing between the hem and the tops of the long socks he has on.

He makes sure his legs are closed, giving nothing away. No, they have to earn that. 

He raises his head, doe eyes looking straight into the camera, a sweet pout on his lips. 

“Hi everyone. Welcome back.”

He speaks just loud enough for the camera to pick up his voice, but it’s pitched low. Playing up the dichotomy of his outward, more feminine appearance, with the deeper, more masculine sound of his voice.

“I’m feeling a bit better from the, um, interrupted stream the other day, and my roommate is out, so I’m taking the opportunity to make it up to you all now.”

“How does that sound?”

[hangrules]: so glad to have u back. Wasn’t expecting it today

[iloveflowers]: yes, do it

[potato_skz]: is your door locked this time?

A sultry laugh. “Yes, potato, it’s locked this time.”

He reads through the other comments, noticing more people have joined the stream. 

“There are enough of you here now to get started.”

HanG squirms cutely on his bed, wiggling his hips, anxious to get started. Or to finish what he started. 

“How do I look? Am I pretty today?” He leans back a little so his stomach is on display. 

[DONATION]: $50 from [I_luv_twinks], message: Yes, you’re pretty.

“Thank you for the donation, I_luv_twinks,” he says. 

He plays with his belly ring. “I feel pretty.” He runs his fingers gently over the exposed skin between his tank top and the top of his skirt. Shivers. 

“Chat, I’m really excited about something,” he starts. 

“Do you want to know what?” He grins.

-please tell us

-yes, we wnt to knw

[DONATION]: $75 from [3catdad], message: Baby, please tell me. I want to know what you’re excited about.

“3catdad, you’re always such a sweetheart.”

“You know I’ve never been fucked. I’ve talked about being a virgin enough that most of you are already aware.” He glances at comments. 

-Can I be your first?

-Fuck yourself on camera, that’s why ur here

-I’ll fuck u right now, make you take it

“Hey, be nice or get lost.” He sighs. Why are people such assholes?

“Anyway, I’ve never even been fingered. Not by anyone. Except today…well, I got a finger in. All the way.”

[DONATION]: $75 from [3catdad], message: Tell us more, pretty. You want to be good for me, don’t you?

His breath hitches.

He tilts his head down just enough so his eyes make direct contact with the camera. He opens them wider, a small pout on his glossy lips. “I took an everything shower and got dressed up so I could be pretty for you. I want to be good for you, yes. Always.”

He takes a deep breath.

Continues.

“I was feeling so good after my shower. Really relaxed, thinking about what I wanted to show you on stream today. It got me horny, knowing what I’d be showing you later.”

He sits up a little, brings his foot up to the bed.

“I started off really slow, getting my fingers wet with lube, circling my hole. Played with my nipples” - he demonstrates over his shirt, tugging his piercings and whimpering a little - “Fuck, ‘m s’turned on.”

He scoots back further on the bed, bringing his legs into frame, still closed. Presses his hand down the front of his skirt. Looks back into the camera (reading comments, but also for effect).

“It felt so weird when I started pushing in, but I really wanted to be able to do this, here, for you, so I kept going.” 

[DONATION]: $30 from [leebitch], message: you’re doing well, wish it had been my finger

“Thank you for the donation, leebitch.” 

“Where was I? Right, I kept going. Pushing in a little further each time, and it started feeling really good. I didn’t want to stop. I didn’t stop.”

[DONATION]: $50 from [3catdad], message: Pretty boy, can you show us, baby?

HanG reads the comment from 3catdad and lifts his eyebrows, mouth parting on a breath, staring into the camera again.

Even with the mask, he hopes the guy can see his reaction.

He wiggles again, excited at being asked and praised.

“I can. Yes.”

He loves being called baby. It makes him feel special.

“I love it when you call me baby.” He mumbles something about being called pretty under his breath. Smiles.

He sits up onto his knees and slides his skirt up enough so the front camera can see his pretty pink panties.

His cock, throbbing, barely contained in them, the head of it off to the left as he looks down his body. He sees the wet spot…spreading as he watches.

The camera to his side shows it too.

Dips 2 fingers inside the satin, to the head of his cock, and brings them to his mouth. His eyes roll back as he tastes himself. “Fuck, that’s gooood.”

He grabs his phone from the tripod, turns around on his knees so the camera shows the back of him.

He lifts the skirt so his satin and lace covered backside is showing.

“Do you like them? They look sexy on me, don’t they?”

He needs the validation. He needs to be sexy. He needs to be good at something. At this.  

[DONATION]: $25 from [some_loser_143], message: so sexy

“I’m gonna take them off now, k?”

He slips the panties off, keeping his back to the camera.

Falls forward onto his hands, on all fours now.

Cock hanging heavy between his legs, his asshole on view.

He grabs the lube and squirts some on his fingers. Reaches his hole with one finger and circles around it. He whimpers, “please, hyung…please.”

He pushes in, feeling his own warmth. He repeats what he did in the shower, finger going in and out. 

[DONATION]: $25 from [some_loser_143], message: I want to see you play with your cock, stay on your hands and knees

HanG sees the donation and the message. He brings his hand down and starts stroking himself. At first touch - “hnnnphhh…yes. T’nk for donashuunn,” he slurs out, continuing the motion. 

[DONATION]: $75 from [3catdad]: message: Hey beautiful, can you stop what you’re doing for a moment? I’d love for you to take the skirt off. You look so pretty in it, but I want to see you fuck your ass and play with your cock, and the skirt’s in the way. 

“Hyungie…” He mumbles something unintelligible.

Stops his hand and unzips the skirt at the back. It falls off his hips and onto the bed. He’s too far gone to move it out of the way. 

[comment from 3catdad: thank you, baby]

He’s on fire from the compliments. From touching himself. From the man in his mind.

He changes position slightly so he can do both things his subscriber asked him so nicely to do.

He gets more lube, this time for both hands.

His finger goes in without resistance, deeper this time because of his position.

He gets his other hand back on his cock, the slide so much smoother.

He presses in further and gasps.

“FUCK,” he whimpers.

The hand on his cock is shaking, from effort and pleasure.

He breaches his hole again, hitting that same spot, the idea slowly filtering into his head that he’s found his prostate.

He’s not sure how much more he can take.

His cock is dripping, red at the head. 

His hand reaches up to harshly pull at his hair, eyes tearing up.

Rips his shirt off so he can get to his nipples.

He feels crazy.

Out of control.

The finger in his ass hitting that spot over and over again.

He’s babbling, moaning, about to sob from it all. 

He hears the donation notification and somehow has one last iota of brain power to look at it. 

[DONATION]: $150 from [i_see_you_0801]: message: STOP. I’ll give you more if you stop. 

The tears overflow his eyes when he sees this command.

He can’t stop.

Yes, he likes the money, but he doesn’t need it. That’s not why he does this.

“Can’t…don wanna st..stop,” he whines. And he doesn’t stop. 

His finger finds the spot again, his hand gives a mean twist on his cock.

He can barely read the comments through his tears, but he sees enough to know he’s good and pretty and sexy.

His universe explodes and he screams, his orgasm boiling through him, like nothing he’s ever felt before.

Strings of white all over his little skirt, his hand, his sheets.

He barely avoids calling out a name. Barely. 

As soon as it’s over he falls to his side, breathing hard, sweating beneath his mask. 

He hears the donation bell ding one last time. 

[DONATION]: $75 from [3catdad]: message: HanG, I’m so proud of you for doing what YOU needed to do, and not listening to them tell you to stop. You did well, my pretty baby. Now go take care of yourself.

“Thanks catdad,” he whispers. “I’ll see everyone again soon. Bye.” He fumbles for his phone and cuts the stream. 

The pink and green logo appears on the screen - “little baby_bug.” STREAM ENDED.

Chapter 12: 12 - You're Running From A Hurricane, I Set Fire To The Rain

Summary:

Jisung cleans up, Minho gets home.

Chapter title from Save Yourself by ONE OK ROCK.

Jisung remains on his side, thoughts drifting in a soft fog, awareness surfacing slowly.

That was, hands down, the best orgasm he’s ever had in his life. His body sated in a way that’s almost melancholic. Each breath a confession of something he’s not allowed to think about.

Because if he thinks about it, him…he just can’t.

Not right now.

Not when the potential to do something stupid is so great.

Instead he brings his phone to eye level, checking the clock. 7:23. He still has time.

Just then, his phone vibrates. 

To: LITTLEBABY_BUG (JISUNG) 11/4/25, 7:23pm

Sung-ah! I got your snacks - including cheesecake - and mine as well. I’ll be home in about 30 minutes. 

To: BIG BABY (MINHO) 11/4/25, 7:27pm

👍

The mask of HanG falls away, leaving just Jisung.

Time to get back to real life.

He rolls over. Stretches.

Gross. Drying cum and lube are nasty.

He grabs some wet wipes and cleans himself off. Uses the towel to dry off where he cleaned.

He strips his bed, grabs the soiled clothing and throws it all in the laundry basket. He’ll take care of it either later tonight or tomorrow, when Minho has a schedule. 

He remakes his bed with clean sheets and the blankets and pillows he had moved off the bed earlier. All his stuffed animals are returned to the bed, along with his softest, fuzziest blanket. It has little green men all over it. Minho gave it to him a while back, and he’s slept with it ever since.

He leans down to smell it.

If he’s being honest, sometimes, when Min isn’t home, he goes into his room, steals his cologne and sprays it on his blanket and on a stuffed animal or 2. Not enough for anyone to smell if they just walk in his room, but enough for him to scent when he puts his nose to those items.

Enough to make him remember he’s safe here.

With Minho. 

Once the bed is finished he zips up the suitcase he left by the closet, shoves it inside and closes the closet door.

He looks around the room to make sure he didn’t forget anything.

He sees the wipes near his bed, returns them to their place.

Looks at his cameras. They’re off.

Hidden again. 

He catches a glimpse of himself in his mirror. Naked, piercings glinting in the light. Face flushed like he’s been running. 

He touches his chest, still rising and falling faster than usual. Wills himself to calm down. To return to factory settings.

Minho will be home soon. He needs to look normal.

Even if the turbulence inside hasn’t quieted yet. 

Jisung looks down at his belly button piercing, wondering if he should remove it.

He does, in favor of a small compass piercing he found. It’s rainbow anodized titanium, and one of his favorites.

Reaching for his nipple petals, he applies them over his piercings, keeping his secrets a little longer.

He throws on a black tshirt that’s 3 sizes too big for him and a comfy pair of sweatpants. No underwear. His shirt covers everything, almost down to his knees, anyway. 

He does a 360, double and triple checking that everything is in its place then heads to the bathroom to take off his eye makeup. The lip gloss is long gone.

He completely misses the tiny pink bows, half buried in his black hair, having moved while he was streaming. 

“Sung-ah! I’m back!” He hears Minho as he opens the door to the apartment. He rushes to meet him, finding him standing at the door, removing his shoes to put on the rack.

Min stuffs his feet into his house slippers and walks further inside with his bags, into the living room to put his bags down on the coffee table. 

“Hi,” he says a little shyly, looking back at Jisung, who is trailing into the room after him. He feels a little awkward still, but is nothing if not resolute in his bid to act normal.

“Hi Min,” Jisung returns the greeting. “How were your errands?”

Minho shifts his weight from foot to foot, acting kind of weird. “Good. Yeah, they were good.”

Jisung can’t parse the vibe.

“What did you get up to while I was gone?” Minho inquires.

“Nothing much. Did some stuff online, mostly. Cleaned up a bit. Gonna do laundry later. Boring.”

Minho nods in acknowledgement.

He turns back to the bags, handing one to Jisung. “Here are the snacks I got. Can you go get them ready? I’ll get my ice cream later.”

Jisung takes the bag, turns, and walks to the kitchen to do as Minho asked. 

Minho glances at Jisung’s retreating figure.

“What’s that in your hair, Sungie?”

He glitches, glad his back is turned because who knows what the fuck his face is saying right now.  Raises a hand to his hair. Shit-fucking-fuckkkk! He continues walking to the kitchen.

“Oh, my hair was in my face and I found them in the bathroom. Hyunjin must have left them when he came over at some point. You know how he likes these weird hair things.”

Minho hums in response.

Jisung arrives in the kitchen and empties the bag of snacks onto the island. Puts both hands in his hair and pulls the stupid clips out, running his hands through his hair to fix it.

“Stupid, stupid,” he mumbles to himself.

Hopefully Minho lets it go. 

Jisung gets the snacks ready - matdongsan in a bowl, cheesecake on a plate with a fork, pudding on a plate with a spoon. If Minho wants ice cream, he can get it when he’s ready for it. He adds a few bottles of cold water from the fridge to the tray with the snacks, so they’ll have something to drink. He forgot to ask for Iced Americanos. 

He takes a deep breath and walks back to the living room. Minho has gone to his room to get into his comfy clothes, so Jisung sits on the couch to wait. He finds the remote and goes through their Netflix account to locate the correct episode of Bleach, queues it up. 

Minho comes back and sits on the couch.

Right beside Jisung.

Like immediately beside him.

As in no space between them.

Jisung tries to mask his shiver at the contact.

Fails.

Chapter 13: 13 - Clip His Wings, He Don’t Deserve The Halo

Summary:

Jisung and Minho have a bit of normalcy. Until they don't.

Chapter title from puppets can't control you by ONE OK ROCK.

If Minho notices Jisung’s reaction, no he doesn’t.

Instead, he stares straight ahead, looking through the tv, not at it.

Inhales for strength.

Smiles.

Then glances over to Jisung.

“Sung-ah, you ready to start it?”

Jisung drags his gaze to Minho, the movement slow. Reluctant. Like it costs him something to do it. “Say again?”

“Let’s start watching, if you’re ready.”

“Oh, ok. Sorry…I zoned out.” Jisung gives a small, quiet laugh. “Yeah, I’m ready,” he clarifies. 

Usually Minho would have grabbed Jisung’s legs and pulled them over his lap, rubbing his thumb over his ankle. Or would have patted his thigh, put a pillow there and Jisung would have put his head on it, Minho carding his fingers through his hair.

But things feel weird tonight.

Tense.

Maybe it was just Minho being in his own head, but he would swear that his Bug was feeling it too. 

He needs this to get back to normal. So he does what he always does and shoves his feelings down. Ignores them. Pretends he enjoys the burn. 

“You want cheesecake or matdongsan?” gesturing to the food. Jisung grins. “Matdongsan, hyung.” He hands the bowl to him and a water. “Thank you.” Minho nods. Grabs his pudding and a bottle of water for himself.

Jisung has the remote next to him. He presses play to start the episode.

They must have stopped in the middle of this one.

“Min,” he glances over. “Do you remember what happened from the beginning to now? I don’t.”

“Uh….” He blinks. Blinks again. One more time. “Um. Wow. No. Not at all.” He giggles a little.

Minho looks over. Jisung’s eyes still on him.

Minho giggles again.

Jisung looks down at his mouth. His lips quirk. He tries to stifle his laugh, but he just can’t.

He covers his mouth with his hand, doubling over. Then he lets out the most inelegant of snorts.

He looks up at Minho with huge eyes.

They both start howling with laughter, Minho clapping his hands. 

Tension. Broken. 

Minho feels like he can breathe again, the weight gone from his chest. 

“Ok, let’s start this episode from the beginning, since obviously neither of us was paying attention the first time around.” Jisung rewinds it and presses play. 

They end up watching 4 episodes, both of them gravitating back to their norm minus the awkwardness.

Jisung ends up pressed to Minho’s side, his arm around him, Sungie’s head on Min’s shoulder. 

 

After the last of the episodes is done, Minho cleans up the remains of their snacks while Jisung goes to use the restroom.  

He walks back out to the living room to see what Minho is doing. He’s done cleaning and is sat back on the couch scrolling on his phone. His thumb freezing at Jisung’s reappearance, hovering over whatever he was looking at.

He quickly locks his phone.

“Hi, Sung-ah. What are you up to?”

“I was just coming to ask you the same,” Jisung responds.

“I think I’m going to go for a run along the river. Wanna come? The weather is nice tonight.”

“That sounds good. Let me go change.”

Minho looks at him with a question on his face, as if to say why do you need to change. You’re wearing what you always wear when we run.

Jisung’s cheeks darken as he understands the implied question. “I just need to change!”

He speeds off to his room before Minho can ask anything else. 

He gets a pair of tight black short boxer briefs from his drawer and puts them on.

He hates the way it feels for his junk to jiggle around in loose boxers when he goes running, and he doesn’t want to chafe.

He opens the bottom drawer of his dresser and hesitates.

He’s nervous.

What the hell.

He pulls out the running skirt he purchased online some time ago.

He’s been hesitant to wear it, but his exploits from today have him feeling inspired, and maybe he wants to feel a little sexy, just not over the top.

He feels safer wearing it because one, he’s with Minho and Minho would never let anything hurt him (Minho also has some fancy self defense training, so…) and two, it’s night and there won’t be as many people out, thus a lower chance of anyone saying something mean to him.

Decided, then.

He throws the black skirt over his underwear.

The skirt is really cute - a little flouncy at the bottom, but close to his body top to hip, and short. Not so short that he’ll flash anything important while running - a little thigh since his trunks are short, but that’s whatever, but short enough that it will be comfortable.

The top of of it rides low on his hips, at his underwear band, under his belly button.

The t-shirt he is wearing is way too big to wear with the skirt, so he changes his shirt into something a bit tighter. Less material to get in his way while he’s running.

If he’s being honest, he kinda likes the way his arms look in the shorter sleeves of this shirt.

It’s certainly not as long on his body as the other shirt was, coming only to right above his hips.

It looks nice with the skirt - they’re both black with white reflective stripes down the sides - and he's still covered.

He makes his way back to the living room where Minho is. Minho barely glances at Jisung, already heading out the door. Jisung puts his shoes on quickly and runs out after him.  

“I’m going to do upper body when we get back,” Minho says over his shoulder, as they walk out into the dark night.

The 3rd bedroom in their apartment is a combined space: a gym with the essentials and a small studio for recording.

Jisung nods. “Maybe I’ll join you. I didn’t do any weights today. I’ll see how I’m feeling after our run.”

They do a couple quick stretches, warming up before they start. Then off they go.

Minho likes to keep a quick pace when he runs, and Jisung easily keeps up with him.

About 35 minutes into their run, one of Ji’s favorite songs to run to comes on - Spitfire by The Prodigy. The beat is faster then what he was listening to before and he picks up his speed to match, running around Minho to get in front of him.

Minho is utterly absorbed in his own music and his run, not paying super close attention to his surroundings, but he knows nobody was in front of him.

And then there is.

Suddenly there’s a cute ass in front of him.

In a skirt.

He recognizes that ass immediately.

He’d know it anywhere.

Jisung.

JISUNG IN A SKIRT WHAT THE FUCK.

He lets out a sound, something between a fucking hell and a horny moan, immediately thankful that Jisung has his airpods in.

Much to his chagrin, for the rest of the run, he intentionally stays behind Jisung, watching the skirt bounce up and down, frothing around his toned thighs.

He can see the hems of the legs of his trunks, tight around the tops of his thighs.

He wishes the skirt would ride up more, so he could see the way his ass looks in those underwear. Or maybe without the underwear but with the skirt on.

He can’t decide.

And he can not fucking believe he’s debating this very interesting scenario while running behind his best friend.

Who is wearing a skirt.

He’s losing his sanity. 

They return to the apartment.

 

Minho still hasn’t said anything about the skirt.

He doesn't know what to say.

Does he bring attention to it? Does he not?

Why did Ji wear it? Who did he wear it for? WHAT? That’s not a question.

Jisung’s voice sluices through the fresh hell in his head to tell him he’s going to the bathroom to freshen up a bit.

While he’s in there he washes his face, finger combs his hair and takes his contacts out. He plucks his favorite glasses off his nightstand - black rims with silver arms, the shape an elongated rectangle with soft corners. No matter what he does, they always slide down his nose a bit. 

Jisung returns and then remembers Minho said he was going to work out.

He pads over to the gym and opens the door.

And stops.

Hesitating because he’s not sure he can be normal about what’s in front of him. 

Minho. 

In a fitted black tank top. Damp from sweat. Sticking to the perfection that is his well defined torso. (He must have had it on under his t-shirt. Took that off 'cuz he was hot. Yes...yes, he's hot).

On his back. 

Shorts having ridden up his thick thighs. (Jisung needs to go to horny jail at this point. Min changed into shorts. Ji loves these shorts).

Legs spread. 

A 60lb dumbbell in each hand. 

Form perfect. 

Adorable bunny teeth on display, just peeking out from under that plush top lip that Jisung wants to suck on. 

Breath punching out with each lift, in as he lowers. 

Jisung squeaks, turns around and yells “I forgot something. I’ll be right back.”

Jesus Fucking Christ.

If they lifted the back of the bench Minho was flat on, he’d be in the perfect position for Jisung to ride him and have access to his lips at the same time.

He wants it more than he should.

Which is not at all. BEST FRIEND. Hello?

He hightails it back out to the kitchen.

“OMG OMG OMG. Why does he look like that? How does he look like that? Be normal. Be fucking normal.” All this muttered to himself while he tries to think of something he can bring back with him, yanno, on the premise that he forgot it.

Water. YES!

He takes 2 bottles of water from the fridge, takes a deep, centering breath and calmly walks back into the gym. 

 

Minho saw Jisung come to the door of the gym, his gaze lingering on his prone form for longer than was entirely necessary.

His eyes were dark behind his glasses.

Big.

Cheeks flushing dark red as he stood there.

And then he ran.

“I’ve got to be misreading this. It’s me. I’m making shit up. Reading too many fanfics or something.”

He’s trying to calm his racing heart at the thought that maybe he isn’t making this up. That maybe he’s not wrong. 

Jisung comes back. Stops again at the door, this time with 2 bottles of water in one hand.

He reaches with the other hand, stretching it up, almost touching the inside of the top of the door frame.

His shirt rides up with the movement, Minho’s eyes follow.

The flat, tight strip of skin between the bottom of his shirt and the top of that damn skirt, skimming his hips.

That’s when he notices it.

Just the tiniest oddity at Jisung’s belly button.

Nothing flashy, just not right.

Not expected, anyway.

Air catches in Minho’s throat, enough for Jisung to notice, but not something that can’t be hidden as an inhale upon lifting the heavy weight in his hand.

Jisung puts his arm down, schools his face and walks in like he doesn’t have a care in the world.

Like he’s not twitching in his trunks.

Like Minho didn’t just set him ablaze with his eyes.

He sits down on the other weight bench, parallel to the one Minho is laying on, knees together, feet turned toward each other in that uniquely Jisung way, and holds out the cold water. 

 

 

Chapter 14: 14 - I'm Caught Up In A Current, Babe

Summary:

Exercise turns into watching each other, hoping the other doesn't notice.

Chapter title from Save Yourself by ONE OK ROCK.

Minho accepts the water. Opens it and takes a few gulps.

Jisung sits. Watches Minho, but stays quiet.

Barely.

The movement of his throat is hypnotic, Adam’s apple moving up and down as he swallows.

A drop of sweat falls from his forehead.

Down…down…down…his cheek, his jawline, his throat.

His hot gaze following it to its termination.

He licks his lips, slowly dragging his tongue over them.

He wrenches himself back from his thoughts.

Decides to do an ab exercise while he’s there.

He scoots back a little so his butt is at the far edge of the bench then brings his knees up to his chest.

Minho chokes on air, having caught the movement from the corner of his eye. Head turning completely toward Jisung, continuing his own reps by rote, he looks.

Stares.

Tells himself to stop but knows he won’t.

Not even won’t.

Can’t.

Physically impossible.

Jisung has to know what he’s doing, right? This has to be on purpose.

But as he finds his face, he has that look of concentration that he always has - eyes squinting, tongue out, off to the side.

Jisung brings his bent legs up again. Minho can see under his skirt.

The way he’s sitting, tilted back a bit on his ass to get the right form, every time his legs go up he can see his the underside of his perky, round ass in his tight underwear, and his thighs.

His thighs, where the band around the legs of the trunks are just this side of too tight, making the meat of his thighs pooch out slightly.

Right where he wants to bite.

Suck marks into them.

He. Has. To. Stop.

He sits up abruptly, not having finished his set. Turns the dumbbells on their ends, sits them on his thighs.

Desperately tries to keep his imagination in check. Falls short.

In an effort to do something other than sit there and be the dirty bastard he is: “Sungie.”

Jisung stops.

“What’s with the skirt? I’ve never seen you wear one before.”

His tone is weird. Stilted. Uncomfortable. Or that’s how Jisung perceives it.

Big eyes get bigger behind his glasses.

Oh shit. He’s wearing those glasses.

Jisung in glasses is hot.

Jisung in these glasses is arson.

“I-I’m s-sorry, hyung. A-am I-I making you uncomfor-”

Minho cuts him off. “Absolutely not. I’m sorry if I gave you that impression. You should wear what you want. I….I…”

He stalls out.

Shuts his mouth quickly, before he says what he’s really thinking…

...I want to peel off your underwear and taste you while you’re wearing that goddamn skirt. Feel the fabric fall over my head while I suck you off, make you moan, cum in my mouth. Flip the skirt up over your ass and fuck you from behind. Watch you ride me while you’re wearing those glasses.

“You what?”

“I…nothing. I don’t know what I was going to say, other than you know I’ll always support whatever you want to wear, Bug.”

He needs to get out of here.

Fuck him and his horny fucking brain.

“I’m done lifting. I’m gonna go shower.”

Jisung looks down by the bench. “Don’t forget your water, hyung.”

Minho is in a bit of a predicament. Haha…preDICament. He needs to put the weights back on the rack, but that’s a little tough with the tent he has in his shorts.

He rotates his body away from Jisung, toward the rack (never mind the mirror that spans the entire wall he’s facing).

Stands and does a quick adjustment, tucking his cock up into his waistband.

If Jisung notices (he absolutely does) he doesn’t say anything.

He goes back to his exercise.

Watching himself in the mirror.

Looking at the show he’s putting on for anyone who might be looking.

Minho is. But he’s trying not to.

Jisung can tell.

He knows exactly how to read Minho’s face, even when there isn’t that much to read.

Hmmm…interesting. He files it away to consider later.

Minho puts the weights away, takes his water and leaves.

Chapter 15: 15 - Bliss is Ignorance

Summary:

Jisung reflects on last night. They both meet up with friends for perspective.

Chapter title from The Pilot by ONE OK ROCK.

To: LITTLEBABY_BUG (JISUNG) 11/5/25, 6:46am

Good morning, Sungie. Just wanted to remind you that I have a schedule today. I won’t be home until at least 10pm.

 

To: 3RACHA-CHAN 11/5/25, 8:01am

Chan. I need to talk to you. It’s important. Can you meet me for dinner at 7:30pm?

To: MINHO 11/5/25, 9:14am

Sure, Min. No problem. Just tell me where. 

 

Jisung stayed in the gym long after Minho had left the night before. Even though he’d told himself he wasn’t going to think about how Minho was acting, and honestly, how he himself was acting, it was the only thing on his mind. 

What was going on with them? They flirt. They always have. But it’s never meant anything. At least he doesn’t think it has.

He’s been aware of his thing for Minho for a while. Maybe years. He just didn’t think Minho felt that way about him.

He wasn’t looking for signs, either, though. Not recently, anyway.

And was terrified of fucking up their…whatevership.

Jisung has never been in a long term…or any term…romantic relationship, so how would he know? He’s only had those quick hookup type deals.

He simply knows that what he has with Minho is special and important and that he can’t screw it up with feelings. 

But now? With Minho watching him like that? Looking at him like he wants to pin him against the wall and devour him with his mouth? Jisung isn’t sure what to do. 

He had a difficult time falling asleep and ended up finally dozing off while watching a documentary on YouTube about aliens, and how there are portals to other worlds. Which meant he had weird dreams and didn’t sleep well.

Usually he would have moved into Minho’s bed, but with things being the way they were last night, he wasn’t comfortable doing that. And Minho was probably sleeping and Jisung wouldn’t have been able to ask him if it was ok.

And, and, and. He stops himself so he doesn’t get caught up in his usual overthinking. 

Jisung doesn’t wake up until noon. He usually checks his phone right when he wakes up, so he sees Minho’s text from early this morning.

He’s glad Min will be out for the day. It will give him the chance to think about last night with fresh eyes, get some work done and maybe meet Felix for dinner. He quickly texts him, and Felix immediately hits him back and agrees to meet him later that evening.

He considers doing another stream, but he’s just not feeling it today.

He eventually gets out of bed, goes about his morning routine, then wanders around the apartment looking for the cats. He finds them on the cat tree in the living room. Soonie, Doongie and Dori. All 3 of them are actually Minho’s cats, but they care for them together. Jisung loves the babies, and they love him.

After he’s gotten his fill of them…ok, after they get bored of him because they’re cats…he goes back to his room to grab the notebook he writes lyrics in and his guitar. He’s never not working on something for 3RACHA to potentially use, or for him to release on his own.

He’s had a melody stuck in his head for a few days now, so he picks it out on the guitar and tries out different lyrics he already has written with it. Nothing pings.

He made sure to record the tune on his phone so he doesn’t lose it. It’s pretty. He’s sure it will get used in time.

He moves on to writing down some lyrics that he’s been thinking about, and gets caught up in that for a few hours.

He remembers that he needs to do his laundry from his stream last night, which then makes him think about sex, which leads to thinking about Minho. Before he forgets what he’s supposed to be doing, he puts his stuff in to wash.

NOW he can think about sex and Minho.

And he does. He makes a list in his lyrics notebook of all the stuff that’s happened over the past couple of days:

1. Minho hearing him moaning in his room
2. him just now realizing that when he saw Min in the hallway that he was aroused
3. him walking in to Minho’s room and hearing Minho call out Jisung’s name
4. Jisung thinking about Minho in the shower while fingering himself
5. Jisung thinking about MInho when he came on stream
6. His reaction to seeing Minho last night when he froze at the door to the gym
7. Minho following the rise of Jisung’s shirt
8. Fucking getting turned on by watching Minho DRINK WATER
9. Minho staring at Jisung like he wanted to eat him, then Min having to adjust his (massive) boner, which Ji saw in the mirror, not that he was looking or anything
10. Noting the way Minho was watching him exercise last night, knowing exactly where his eyes were

Um…it’s been 2 days. How can there be TEN things? This is worse than he thought. 

Is it hot in here? He pulls at the collar of his t-shirt. Decides to go take a cool shower and get ready for his thing with Felix. 

An hour and a half later, he’s in a booth at the back of a bar/restaurant with Felix. And Felix is getting an earful. 

Felix takes a drink of his fruity cocktail. “Tell me again how he looked like he was gonna take a bite out of you last night.”

“FELIX! Focus.”

Jisung is exasperated.

“I don’t know what to do. This is about more than sex. It’s about our friendship and potentially fucking it up. I can’t lose him. And what if he’s not really interested in me? What if he’s just horny? I don’t even know if I’m his type. Or if he likes me like that. Maybe he pities me. He knows I have basically no experience in that kind of stuff. I’ve kinda told him. What if I’m reading all this wrong? Oh my god. HELP ME,” he whines. He’s definitely crashing out, and not in a good way. 

Felix reaches over and pulls him into a tight hug. “Breathe for me, Sungie. Just breathe. Then we’ll figure it out. I promise.”

 

A little later that evening, in a restaurant not far from them…

“Chan. I need your help. I have a crush on Jisung and I don’t know what to do about it,” he blurts out in typical, blunt Minho fashion.

“Hello to you too, Min,” Chan laughs out. “Take a breath, man. Let’s get our drinks and order, then we can talk about it.”

Minho exhales. He realizes he’s being dramatic. And that Chan is not surprised by this development. Huh.

“Ok. Sorry. I’m really worked up about this. I’ve been sitting on it for a couple days and it’s only gotten worse.”

The waiter comes by and takes their orders. 

“Alright,” Chan says, “tell me what’s going on.”

Minho blinks. 4 times in a row. Uh-oh. That’s usually not a good sign. 

Minho is trying to think of a way to tell Chan what’s going on without spilling the more private things that have happened. He can’t tell Chan he got hard because he heard Sungie moaning. Or that he jerked off thinking about Jisung sucking him off.

Shit, how is he going to explain this? Fuck. He really didn’t think this through. 

Chan interrupts Minho’s internal flip out.

“Lemme see if I can guess. You’re just realizing that you have a crush on Jisung? Now? Really?”

Minho looks at him.

Deer. In. Headlights.

“What’s that supposed to mean? It’s as if you’re implying…implying…” Again with the blinking, as he gestures with his hand in some sort of drunk circular motion, “that I’ve had a crush on Sungie for longer than 2 days.” 

Chan stares at him like he’s stupid.

“Are you fucking with me?” his voice pitched high. 

A low laugh escapes him.

“For real. Are you serious right now? You look serious. I think you’re actually serious. Holy shit. You are.”

Goes back to staring at him, this time with a whole lot of what-the-fuck on his puss.

“This is insane. I mean, I knew you were bad at feelings, but this? Jisung? It never occurred to me that you didn’t know. All of us know. Except you 2 idiots, apparently. Jesus.”

He breathes in, as though it might steady him.

“Ok, Min. Spill. Now.”

Minho blinks at him.

Makes some sort of unintelligible sound, almost like a whimper.

Blinks again.

Draws in a shaky breath.

Looks around for the waiter, who thankfully is on his way to their table with their drinks.

Minho grabs his as soon as it’s put on the table in front of him and downs it on a oner.

“Bring me another, please.”

The waiter nods.

Chapter 16: 16 - Like A Shark In The Water When I'm Bleeding

Summary:

Chan and Minho have a somewhat illuminating conversation.

The chapter title is from Party's Over by One Ok Rock.

The waiter returns with another drink for Minho.

He shoots that one, too.

God damn it, he fucking HATES feelings. Feelings make you do stupid things. Feelings make you ruin friendships. Feelings make you…UGH. Fuck. 

He has them. It’s not like he asked for this.

Never one to shy away from things, now he has to do something about them. He has no idea what. 

He looks at Chan, who’s looking at him. Waiting for something, apparently. 

Right. Words, Minho. He’s waiting for you to tell him what happened. 

“You cannot say ANYTHING to Jisung about what I’m going to tell you. Or Binnie. Definitely not Bin. That fucker doesn’t know how to keep his yap shut.”

“Ok, I promise…nothing to either one.” 

Minho nods.

Looks down at his hands like they hold the answers to all this shit. They don’t, of course. Damn them. 

“Swear this goes no further. I need to hear it again.” 

“I swear on everything that’s dear to me that anything I hear tonight will stay between you and I.”

“Ok, I’m trusting you with my life here, Channie-hyung.”

Chan waits.

Minho will start when he’s ready. 

“A couple nights ago I got home from the grocery store and picking up take-out for Jisung and I. I heard some kind of sound from the apartment, thought it was coming from Sungie’s room and I wanted to make sure he was ok. It was weird. So I walked over, called out a couple times to him, no response. I opened the door and he’s sitting on his bed, at the end, holding a magazine. I told him I heard weird noises…Chan, he was like moaning or gasping, ah, in a sexy way. Then he got really embarrassed and told he was trying out sounds for a sexy song you guys are working on. I really didn’t believe him, but we were both awkward and I decided to just let it be.” 

“Yeah, we’re not working on anything that would need those kinds of sounds…it’s not a bad idea, though.” 

“Mmmmm,” Minho hums. “Thanks for confirming that, I guess. Anyway, I, uh, got turned on hearing that from him, and, um, god this is so fucked up. Yeah, I got hard. Whatever. That’s not even the worst of it. I started thinking about why he was doing that and I thought he was just jerking off, but if he was, why didn’t he tell me to leave? Why look up at me with all cute and…” Minho’s cheeks are burning. “I got jealous, ok. Jealous, thinking he was recording it for someone else. Or worse, having, I dunno, phone sex.”

Two days later and he still has a physical reaction thinking about that. His stomach swoops, the alcohol threatening to pay a return visit. He takes a steadying breath. 

He very definitely leaves out the part about jerking it to the idea of Jisung giving him head. 

“The next morning Jisung comes into the kitchen having a huge panic attack. After we got through it I asked him if it was about what had happened the previous day. Of course it was. And he was scared, Chan. Scared. You should have seen the look on his face. He said he was scared because he thought maybe I was mad or grossed out about him jerking off and me hearing it. Which is just ridiculous, right? I told him it was no big deal, and honestly it isn’t, if that’s what he was doing. It’s normal, natural, guys do it all the time.”

This is so hard. He detests baring his shit for other people. Despises feeling vulnerable. 

“What do you mean, if that’s what he was doing? Do you doubt him?” Chan questions. 

“I…maybe? I’m not sure. It’s just a feeling based on what I saw and heard and then how he acted. Like if he were masturbating, his reaction was odd, right? Like why didn’t he tell me to fuck off and get out? And…”

Oh.

“...wait, I just remembered what magazine he was looking at. It’s the one from this month, with, fuck, me on the cover. The one with the bug on my cheek.”

“I think it makes sense now why he reacted that way. Don’t you, Min? Sounds like he was fantasizing about you. He’d be mortified that you caught him.”

Minho can’t determine if this is a good thing or not.

“Something like that…yeah. Yes. He would be. But if that’s true, and he was thinking about me…I think I need to get through the rest of this before we attribute meaning to anything.”

Minho isn’t sure how he feels about this. Shouldn’t he be thrilled?

Instead he feels uneasy. Wants to make sure he’s reading everything right before anything else. 

“After his panic attack, I put my hand on his shoulder and he flinched. He’s never done that before. Then I said something and he flinched again. My feelings were actually kind of hurt. I think it was when I called him Bug. But I call him that all the time. I can’t figure that one out. But then later I hugged him and he seemed to be ok. Then he ran away to his room, saying he needed space. Which was fine, because so did I.” 

The waiter walks over and delivers their food. Minho orders another drink, then continues.

“Later that day…” He realizes this was just yesterday. “…I went to check on him and see if he wanted to hang out. I knocked AND listened! He didn’t answer. I opened the door and he was sleeping. You know how he sleeps - wrapped up like a little Sungie-rito.”

Minho has an absurdly fond look on his face. Chan thinks he probably doesn’t even realize how much his face gives away when he talks about Jisung. He keeps it to himself for now.

“I went to fix his blankets a little, and when I turned around to leave, I…I caught what was on his monitor. It was a toy. Yanno…”

Minho doesn’t go into any further detail about it. Chan nods. Waiting for him to continue.

“I haven’t said anything about that to him. Probably won’t. Again, it’s not weird and I’m not grossed out, it’s just…Jisung?” 

They take a minute to eat some food, then Minho starts again.

“I had to go run errands, so I left him a note asking if he wanted to hang out later. I had decided that I needed to act normal, get us back to normal. He texted me after he woke up, said yes and asked me to get snacks on the way home. I got home, went to put my stuff away and asked Ji to get the snacks ready. He was sitting in his usual spot when I got back, snacks on the table. I sat down like I usually do - right next to him. Chan. He shivered. Like he liked me touching him. I truly don’t think I’ve ever noticed that kind of a reaction from him before. We touch all the time.”

“I mean, yeah, Min. That’s why we all thought you guys were already, yanno, doing stuff, or together or something. You touch without even thinking about. You flirt constantly. You have for years.”

Minho leans back into the seat, trying to see things from Chan’s perspective. He’s right. They do touch. A lot. And probably in ways that seem like how a romantic couple would touch.

Yeah, definitely, they flirt all the time, but he’s never thought about it being anything other than normal. Well, for them. Probably not normal for other people not in a relationship.

What if they are in a relationship that’s more than they thought it was, but never realized because it always seemed so them…just natural and comfortable? No labels needed. He has a lot to think about. 

“Ok, fair. I’m thinking through that now and what you’re saying makes sense from an outside perspective. It’s never been weird for Sungie and I to touch and act like that. We just do it. It’s normal for us. Maybe that’s why I never realized we might be…uh…emotionally entangled but with romantic tendencies?” Chan nods. 

“There’s more. So after we watched some episodes of Bleach I asked him if he wanted to go for a run at the river. He agreed. Went and changed. I didn’t notice for a long time - over half our run - but he changed into a fucking skirt. There I was, running and listening to music, then I see the best ass I’ve ever seen. Right in front of me. Just appeared there. Skirt going up and down around his thighs. I could see the legs of his boxer briefs on them. I knew it was him and I didn’t stop looking. Couldn’t stop looking.”

He knows his cheeks must be dark pink because his face feels hot. Chan is relaxed across from him. He sees no judgement on his face, not that he expected to. Chan’s good like that. He listens and then makes his decision once he has all the facts. 

“We get back to the house and he went to the bathroom. I went to the gym. When he walked in, I swear he was staring at me. Looked at me from head to toe. Watched me lift for a few seconds. I don’t think he knew I saw him. He made this high pitched sound, said he forgot something then ran. When he came back he had water with him. He came in, sat down on the bench next to me and handed me the water. When I drank some I could feel his eyes on me, watching. Then he…mmm…he’s still wearing the skirt. He sat back on the bench and started doing knee to chest ab work. Chan, I could see up his skirt. It was like he wanted me to, but then I thought I was being crazy, making shit up in my head. I looked at his face and he was concentrating so hard. You know how he looks, right? Eyes all crunched up, his tongue out. I’m not sure now if it was on purpose or not. This next part is so fucked. Don’t judge. I tried to hide it when I got up to put the weights away, but I’m not sure he didn’t notice it.” He looks down at his lap. Chan gets the picture.

“When I was leaving, Ji was doing those ab exercises again. Like he wanted me to look. And I did.”

He hangs his head.

“I did.”

“What the fuck am I gonna do, hyung?”

Chan can see how conflicted his friend is. He has to be careful. This is a delicate situation. Especially now that he knows they actually aren’t together, and never have been. He’s astounded that that’s the case, but here we are. 

“You’ve told me what happened, but you haven’t said how you’re feeling about it. What you want. Have you thought about it? You mostly sound like you’ve only thought about the events, not the feelings.”

“Because you hate feelings.”
“Because I hate feelings.” They say it at the same time. 

Minho can’t even laugh. 

“What do I want? I want him.” Minho responds, no hesitation.

“I don’t know what that means, though, hyung.” 

“I’m horny, not gonna lie. But I don’t think I’m willing to go down that road with Jisung right away…or ever? I was actually thinking maybe I should try being with one of my…”

“Yeah, I get you,” Chan cuts him off, an odd look on his face. “I’m not sure that’s one of your better ideas. You just said you want Jisung. Why would you go to someone else?”

“What if I’m misreading the situation? What if he’s just horny and I’m available? It’s not like he’s got people he can go to, yanno? At least, I don’t think he does.”

Chan looks at Minho as he considers what he just said. “What if he does have someone, Min? How do you feel about that?”

“Sick, fuck you very much. It makes me physically ill to think of Sungie with anyone.” He looks down, not sure why he can’t look him in the eye.

“What about with you? What if it’s with you? How do you feel about that?”

Minho catches his gaze. 

“Fuck me. I want that. I just don’t know if I can have it.”

“Ah, there is it. Now we’re getting somewhere.”

Minho knocks back his drink. Without warning, he stands up. Nods at Chan. 

Walks out the door.

Chapter 17: 17 - Lately It's Been Too Much All Day

Summary:

Jisung shares the events of the past 2 days with Felix. Minho...he's not doing well.

Title is from Stand Out Fit In by ONE OK ROCK.

“I’m breathing! I’m breathing!” he screeches into Felix’s ear, which is right next to his mouth, given the hold Felix has on him.

“Fuck, Jisung! Stop screaming!”

“Let me go then!”

Felix lets him go, almost flinging him across the seat of the booth, finger pushing into his ear, trying to stop the ringing. 

Jisung looks at him with a guilty smile. “Sorry.”

“It’s ok, Sungie. I know you’re stressed. Do you want a drink? It might help relax you a little.” Jisung doesn’t typically drink, for various reasons, the least of which is that he is an extreme lightweight. “Can I just have a few sips of yours? I don’t want a whole one. You know how I am with alcohol.” Felix slides his half-full drink over. Watches Jisung down the rest of it. 

Jisung sits there for a minute, letting the drink wash over him, trying to figure out what to say to Felix. How much to share.

He’s conflicted.

He decides to go slowly and feel out the situation as he goes. 

“Felix.”

He turns in his seat to look at his beautiful friend.

Felix is sunshine in human form. Sweet, freckled…an angel, Hyunjin calls him. It’s true.

Their friends call them the Sunshine Twins. Jisung is one day older than Lix, and just as warm and kindhearted. Endearingly, they both have their own Sunshine Protector - Hyunjin for Felix, Minho for Jisung.

“Unsurprisingly, I’ve been over and over (and over) the past 2 days, trying to figure out what the actual fuck is going on.”

Felix smiles softly at him, waiting for him to continue.

“After I finished working earlier, I made a list…of things that have happened. Before I continue, I need your word that you will say absolutely nothing to anyone about what I’m about to tell you. This is deeply personal stuff.” 

“Dont worry, Ji. Your secrets are safe with me. I won’t share, not even with Hyunjin. I swear.”

Jisung nods. Closes his eyes. Opens them. Shakes his head like he can’t believe he’s about to spill his darkest secrets. Does it anyway.

“Ok, so remember the other day when Min came in and interrupted my stream?”

Felix nods. How could he forget?

“Everything has been weird since then.” 

“After he left and I had my freak out and you and I texted, I decided to go talk to him about what he heard, tell him what you said to say. When I peeked out my door to see where he was not long after it happened, I saw him get up off the floor in the hallway, just down from my room. He, um, looked like he was…adjusting himself. Then he left, went to his room, I guess?”

Jisung’s face is so red. He’d love for it to be a flush from the alcohol, but they both know it isn’t.

“You get what I’m saying, right?” Felix nods, mouth curved in a slight smile.

“Ok. Umm. I went to the kitchen and saw that he’d left the groceries and our dinner out. I heard him start the shower, so I knew I had time to put the stuff away and eat. I walked into his room when I was done, to sit and wait for him. But…uh…I heard something before I could.”

He can’t talk about this. How can he talk about this?

“What did you hear, Sungie?”

“Um. Shit. I heard Min like, moan out my name from the shower? I can’t believe I just told you that. This goes to your grave.”

He looks at him seriously.

“I left. Ran back to my room. I was, uh, yanno…”

He gestures down.

“You were excited by that?” Felix asks, not judging, just asking.

“I…yes, I guess I was.”

“Ji, just so you know,” Felix’s face earnest, “if I heard someone call out my name when they cum, I’d have that same issue. It’s hot.”

“Damn, Sungie.”

He gets the feeling that Felix is excited for him. Felix knows about his feelings for Minho. Has for a while now.

“It seems like it shocked you to hear that?”

Jisung thinks back to that night.

“I wasn’t expecting it. And you know how I feel about myself…I’m not super confident, especially when it comes to stuff like that. So, yeah, I was surprised. I actually felt…I dunno…powerful in a way? To have someone as beautiful as Lee Minho, cover model for Harper’s Bazaar Korea, obviously thinking about me like that…it was a rush. And,” he laughs, “ha, yeah, it was fucking hot.” He’s grinning, cheeks still colored. 

In all honesty, it really is hard for him to accept that Minho thought about him in a sexual way. Enough to be thinking about him actively while masturbating. You don’t call out someone’s name like that unless you’re picturing them doing…huh, he wonders what  Minho was imagining him doing that got him off so loudly. His belly feels funny thinking about it. He really wants to know. He hopes he gets to find out.

“Then what happened, Sungie?”

“Ah, right. The next morning I was all caught up in my head and I had a panic attack.”

Felix’s face falls. “I’m so sorry, Ji. I know those take it out of you.”

“Yeah, it really fucking sucked. Minho obviously doesn’t know this, but part of the reason for that was that was hearing him the night before. Yeah, it was hot, but also overwhelming for me. I didn’t get enough sleep, either. I also had to lie to Min about what he heard from me. I wasn’t, yanno, doing what he thinks I was. And he can’t know about my streaming. It kills me to lie to him. I fucking hate it. And I feel so badly because after he got me through it, he was talking to me about it being normal and how he was surprised we hadn’t had this happen before, then put his hand on my shoulder. Normal Minho shit. I flinched, Felix. I’m, like, lying to him and he’s there being all sweet and I fucking flinched at my best friend’s touch. The look on his face. And then…he called me Bug and I flinched again. I am the worst kind of person.”

“Come on, Jisung. You know that’s as far from the truth as you can be.” 

“It gets worse, Lix.”

“I basically told him that I was scared that he was grossed out with me and that all I could think about was that I didn’t know how to act about it. Then he hugged me. I just let him because I couldn’t see that look on his face again. I hate hurting him. We both needed space after all that, so we went to our rooms.”

Jisung’s face brightens. “Guess what I did?”

Felix quirks an eyebrow in question.

“I went shopping!!! Oh my god, Felix! It was so much fun! I got skirts, tops, stockings and long socks, a pretty pink night gown and a robe and a bunch of lingerie! It should be here tomorrow. I can’t wait to show you.”

He’s got a huge smile on his face, and sees his excitement mirrored on Felix’s.

Felix loves to shop just as much as Ji. Felix wears skirts in public. Actually, Felix wears whatever he wants. He’s confident and unapologetic about who he is.

“Ok, before I get completely sidetracked with that,” he laughs, “let me finish up with the Min thing. After I ordered all my new stuff I was super tired, so I took a nap. When I got up I saw Min had left a note asking if we could hang out. I thought about it and decided we should do that, so I texted him and told him to pick up snacks and that we could catch up on some Bleach episodes. Then I got ready to stream. Did you watch it?”

“Yeah, I caught a bit of it. You looked so pretty. I loved the bows in your hair and that belly piercing was fire on you. Looked so good against your skin tone. I’m really proud of you for trying something new, by the way. You seemed to really enjoy it.”

He smiles again at Jisung, and Jisung can see on his face that he’s genuinely delighted for him.

The thing about Felix is that while he is walking sunshine, he’s also a dirty freak. And completely open and transparent about it.

It’s one of the things Jisung loves most about him. And that he will not judge you.

Makes it really easy to talk to him about embarrassing and private shit like this. 

Jisung thinks that his face should just stay red at this point…he’s sure he’s not done blushing for the night.

“It was really good. I never knew it could feel like that. And then imagining it with someone else? I want to experience that. So badly. W-with…” 

Jisung doesn’t finish that sentence. He doesn’t need to. Felix already knows.

“Oh! Before I forget, what do you think of that subscriber, 3catdad?”

Felix thinks for a moment. “I think he’s really nice. Seems caring and I like the way he praises you and asks you to do things instead of telling you. I dunno, Ji. There’s something about him - he gives me a good feeling. I mean, if he’s genuine and being himself online. There are a lot of creeps out there.” 

“Yeah, I think the same. He seems different from most of the other people who comment or donate. I got a private message from him but I haven’t had a chance to open it. I’m kind of looking forward to it. I hope he doesn’t disappoint, though.”

“Min got home last night after doing his errands. He seemed a little weird, but I let it go. Then I kinda fucked up…I left the bows in my hair and he asked about them when I went to get the snacks ready in the kitchen. I gave him something about them being Hyunjin’s and he seemed to believe me. Min went to his room to get changed. I had already sat down on the couch and he came and sat next to me. Like glued to my side, thigh to shoulder kind of next to me. This is embarrassing. I tried to stop it but I couldn’t, and I know he noticed. I totally shivered.”

He looks down and puts his hand over his eyes, feeling stupid for the way his body reacted to Minho. 

“Did he say anything about it?” 

“Nope.” Jisung shrugs. “Maybe he didn’t notice. Wishful thinking, I think, though.” 

“We ended up laughing at something stupid a little later, and things felt normal again. For a while, anyway.”

“I went to use the restroom and when I came back Min was sitting on the couch on his phone. He locked his phone really fast, and I let that go too. Not my business, though it was kinda weird. Then he asked me if I wanted to go running at the river. You’ll be so proud of me. I changed into that running skirt I’d bought a while back. Remember it? The little black one with the reflective stripes down the sides? I put some short, tight black boxers under it and wore a shirt that actually fits me with it. Haha.”

“That’s so cool, Ji. What made you wear it? I know you’re not sure if you’re comfortable wearing skirts in public.”

Jisung hums in agreement.

“I knew I’d be with Minho and I trust him to not let anything happen to me. And it was night, so not many people out. It was fun. I loved wearing it. I don’t think Minho even noticed I had it on until later,” he laughs.

He has no idea that Minho did, in fact, notice it and was feeling some type of way about it.

“Anyway, we got back to the apartment; he went to the gym and I went to take my contacts out and fix my hair. When I got to the gym, I shit you not, I stopped functioning in the fucking doorway. Could not do anything but stare at that man. He had taken off his t-shirt and had on a black tank, and changed into those shorter shorts that I like. He was flat out on the bench lifting dumbbells. I had dirty, dirty thoughts, then I made some crazy sound, told him I forgot something and ran to the kitchen.”

Jisung laughs at himself.

“What’s a gay to do when faced with that? I mean, really. He was almost indecent.”

Felix is is sat back, totally relaxed, enjoying the story.

Jisung continues.

“I felt so dumb and had to figure out what to bring back that I’d “forgotten,” so I brought some waters back with me. I got back to the door, he’s still in the same position, doing the same thing. I had the waters in one hand, and I reached up with the other to stretch a little and I saw, like witnessed with my own eyes, Minho follow  my shirt go up. I think he might have seen my belly piercing. I changed it to the compass earlier, so it wasn’t shiny or obvious. He didn’t say anything, but I know he was watching. I put my arm back down, marched in like I owned the place and handed him his water. Did you know that he can make drinking water sexy? I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him. Then this drop of sweat…ugh, nevermind. I’m sure you get the whole humiliating picture.”

“This is getting…interesting…” Felix quips, eyes glinting. “Please do continue.”

“I decided to exercise a little, since I hadn’t done anything other than run. I did some knee to chest ab exercises. Min asked me about the skirt. I thought it made him uncomfortable, but he assured me that it didn’t. He said he was done lifting and wanted to go shower. He turned away from me, towards the mirror on the opposite wall. He was definitely sporting wood (ohmygodwhatthefuckheishuge) when he stood up. He tried to take care of it discreetly, but there’s a giant fucking mirror there! I didn’t say anything. Just went back to doing my abs, noticing him looking up my skirt. He was trying so hard not to. Very unsuccessfully, might I add.”

He wants to smirk, but he’s not confident enough. 

“I’m ready, Lix. Tell me what you think.”

“He wants to fuck you, Jisung,” Felix says deadpan. 

Hearing it stated so bluntly, put out into the universe like that, does something to Jisung. His whole body feels like it ignites. 

“Ok. That may be. But what do I do? I have to be sure this isn’t me being horny and wanting to get laid.”

“I think you’re already doing it. Keep doing what you’re doing. Notice his reactions. Try to replicate them, like an experiment.”

“Are you sure I shouldn’t try to meet up with someone again? To have sex and stuff?”

Felix looks Jisung in the eyes.

“Do you really want to? Do you think it would work?”

Jisung squirms under his gaze.

Felix continues, “I think the reason you’ve had problems in the past is that the person you really want isn’t the person you were with. Be honest with yourself. You want it to be Minho. Is that true?”

Jisung doesn’t answer. He doesn’t have to. It’s written all over his face.

 

Jisung is tapped out. Social battery at zero. It’s late. He’s tired. The only person who doesn’t drain his battery is Minho. He’s not even sure if Min is home yet. He reminds himself that Min said he wouldn’t be back til at least 10. 

He isn’t home when Jisung gets there. So he finds himself curled up with his soft blanket and his plushies and pretending to watch a show while he lets his brain do what it does to process everything he and Felix talked about. He definitely doesn’t want to see Minho (he does). And god forbid Minho cuddle him in his bed tonight. That would be terrible. The worst. 

Actually, it might be the worst. Should he be making decisions like this in his current state? Getting into bed with the object of his every fantasy? Yeah, probably not. But he would. He so would.

 

Minho is unraveling. Quickly. Drinking didn’t help and talking to Chan made him even more confused. 

He walks out of the restaurant, legs carrying him around a corner, into an alley. His steps falter, then stop. He finds himself leaning up against the groddy wall, feeling the condensation soak into his shirt. Breath coming fast. World spinning, whether because he’s drunk or because of Jisung, the answer isn’t clear.

Definitely because he’s drunk. Yep. That's what he’s going with. Clearly decisions aren’t his thing right now, because the next one he makes could alter his life in ways he can’t even comprehend. 

Chapter 18: 18 - Can You Open Up My Eyes, Let Me See What I've Become

Summary:

Minho makes a decision. So does Jisung.

Minho takes out his phone. Goes into his contacts. Pulls up his friend’s info. Presses the green button.

“Minho? Are you ok?”

“Uh, hey, Ido. Are you free tonight? I mean now?”

“Min, are you drunk?”

“Yep. So drunk,” he confirms.  

“So, can I come over? I need you.”

“Yeah, I guess.” 

“Great. I’ll be there in 10. I’m not far.”

 

Jisung logs into his cam account to read the private message from 3catdad. He’s a little nervous, but excited to see what he has to say.

[private message] from [3catdad] 11/5/25 2:03pm
Hi pretty boy. I wanted to check in to see how you’re feeling after your stream yesterday. You were so amazing. I loved watching you. 

Would it be ok if I mailed you a couple of things? I hope this isn’t weird, but I think they’ll help you, and of course, if you wanted to use them on stream, I’d love to see that. That’s completely your choice, though. 

Let me know and I’ll get them sent to you right away if you are ok with it.

-3catdad

Jisung’s face lights up, mouth shaped in a wide smile.

[private message] from HanG 11/5/25 11:25pm
Hi 3catdad! It’s so nice to hear from you! I’m feeling good. It was…exciting (?) I guess to finally get to experience that. I definitely enjoyed myself. 😳 

Um…I’ve never had anyone offer to send me anything. But I think it would be ok, if you’re sure you want to. No pressure, though! 

You seem like such a sweet guy. 😻

You can send it to my PO Box. 

HanG
PO Box [xxx]
[xxxxxxxxx]

I look forward to seeing what you send!

HanG

Jisung wonders where Minho is. He sends him a text.

To: MINHO 11/5/25, 11:27pm

Min, are you going to be home soon? Just wondering where you are. 

 

To: LITTLEBABY_BUG (JISUNG) 11/5/25, 11:35pm

Hey Bug, I’m not sure I’ll be home tonight. I stopped over at a friend’s house. It’s late, so I might just stay here. 

 

Jisung was bummed. He couldn’t lie to himself. After his last message to Minho, he put his phone face down on his night stand and got in bed, trying to figure out why it bothered him that Minho might not come home tonight. Or was it that he went to a “friend’s” house? What did that even mean? Whose house did he go to? Why? 

Nope. We’re not doing this tonight. He grabs his tablet, finds a guided imagery video, puts his airpods in and follows along with it until he falls asleep. An hour later. 

 

Minho arrives at Ido’s place. He lets himself in, using the door code he’s had forever.

Long arms wrap around his waist, turning him around, and he’s pulled back into a solid and well-built chest.

He feels lips at his neck, hot breath fanning over the column as wet kisses are dropped along it. He whimpers at the feel. Hands tight on his hips, pulling him closer, his ass snug against something hard. Grinding into him. His head tilts back onto the shoulder behind him, eyes closed. He lets out the breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“I need this, Ido. Please.”

“Are you sure, Min?”

He nods.

“Words, baby. I need words.”

“Yes, Id, please.”

Minho and Ido know what they’re doing, how to play the other’s body like a familiar instrument.

Ido knows there's something up with Min. That he's trying to escape something. Whatever. They’re both adults. 

He takes his time with Minho, enjoying the foreplay.

Still behind him, Ido deftly unbuttons Minho’s vest with one hand while moving the other across his waist. Small, light touches, over his clothes. For now. Getting him used to his touch again.

He slips the vest off Minho’s shoulders, dropping it to the floor.

His hand moves back around, this time to take off his shirt. He tugs it out of his pants, finds the bottom button and starts unbuttoning from there.

Fingers trailing lightly over each patch of soft, soft skin that’s revealed.

Lips attached to his nape, sucking a mark. Licking over it. Eliciting a shiver with each wet touch.

“No marks…where they can…be seen,” Minho says breathily.

They both know the rules, but it bears reminding. 

Ido doesn’t rush, and finally the shirt is completely open.

He brushes over Minho’s nipple. Barely there…like a ghost.

A trail of heat over his abs.

A nibble at his earlobe.

Then a sharp pinch, just this side of painful.

“Ngghhh…Id. More.” He arches his back, trying to get Ido’s fingers back to the nipple he just abused.

“Patience, baby. We’ll get there.”

Minho feels his shirt sliding off his arms. He doesn’t care what happens to it. He pushes his ass back into Ido, chasing…

“Uh-uh. Stay put.” Minho whines, frustrated.

He wants.

His whole world is want.

Hands, all over him. The feel of rough skin against soft.

“Please, Ido. You know what I need,” voice gone high and pleading.

He feels Ido’s nails digging into his skin, dragging harshly down his pecs, over his nipples, down his abs. Deep enough to leave red trails down his pale skin.

The button of his pants is opened, zipper head moving down, slowly unveiling what’s beneath.

Ido’s long fingers drifting down across the expanse of smooth skin.

Finally reaching where Minho aches. 

The room is spinning, he’s still drunk.

He feels Ido leave another mark on his neck, higher than he’d like, but he’s too far gone to care.

He’s all need.

Desire.

He turns to face Ido.

Pushes his head down.

Ido’s knees bend and he drops to the floor, knowing what Min wants.

He reaches in, fingers grasping, pulling, until he’s fully exposed.

Ido leans forward and wraps his full lips around the head of Minho’s cock, hears the groan and sees Minho’s chin tilted to the ceiling. He swirls his tongue under the ridge then licks down his shaft. To his balls. Teases a finger behind them, at the beginning of the crease of his ass as he takes him back into his mouth.

His hips buck forward, pushing Ido’s mouth further down, forcing him to take more.

Minho’s big.

Thick.

Hard for most people to take to the base.

Ido gags, chokes. Splutters wetly around him.

Exactly what Minho wants to hear.

Tinny music plays.

His entire body freezes, head coming up, neurons firing.

He grabs for the phone shoved into his pocket.

Only one person has that specific notification.

Only one person has any kind of specific notification.

He unlocks his phone.

To: MINHO 11/5/25, 11:56pm

Oh. Um, ok. 😞😢I guess I’ll see you sometime tomorrow then.

The guilt is immediate. Shame flowing through him.

“Who is it, Min?” Ido asks from the floor.

Minho looks down at him.

“Jisung.”

The name hangs in the air, suspended between them.

Ido picks up on the subtle edge in the word.

“What did you do, Lee Minho? What?” 

“I fucked up, Ido. Maybe disastrously.” He curls into himself. 

“I’m a coward who can’t face his feelings. I was drunk, still knew it was wrong to call you, come here…do this,” he gestures between them, “and I fucking did it anyway. I’m horny, frustrated and scared. And this is how I handled it. Jesus. I’m a mess,” he chuckles sadly. 

A single tear runs down his cheek.

“I’m sorry, Ido. Sorry I used you to try to avoid my shit.”

Ido nods.

Tucks Minho back into his pants, helps him with his shirt and vest.

“I’m sorry too, Min. I knew something was wrong and didn’t say anything. I wanted this. Too much. I’ve missed you.”

“This is on me, Id,” Minho says quietly.

He looks down at the floor.

“Me, and only me.”

He looks down at the phone still in his hand. 

To: LITTLEBABY_BUG (JISUNG) 11/6/25, 12:13am

Are you ok, Sungie? I’m coming home. I’ll be there in 20.

I’m sorry.

Chapter 19: 19 - This Ain't A Dream, I'm Stuck In A Nightmare, Let Me Out

Summary:

Minho: AITA? I know I am.
Author: You definitely are. But I kinda understand why you did it. I wish you hadn't, though.

Jisung...he's about to have a rude awakening.
Author: I'm sorry, baby. So sorry. :(

Minho gets home about 30 minutes later. He stopped at the convenience store to grab something quick to eat.

Really he was trying to stall. 

He opens the door to the apartment, takes off his shoes then goes to the kitchen to eat his snack. The cats come over to him, sniffing him. It makes him feel guilty all over again. He knows they can smell Ido on him. 

God, he’s such a prick. A coward. A fucking dumbass.

His internal monologue keeps going. He tries to tune it out as he walks up the hall to see what Jisung is doing.

His door is slightly open, dim light spilling out to make a yellowish angle on the floor.

“Sungie?”

No answer. He quietly pushes the door open further.

Jisung is asleep, tablet on his chest playing some video. He can see the airpods in his ears.

His chest aches.

He’s so stupid.

He walks over, clicks pause on the video and gently takes the tablet from Jisung’s sleeping form. Puts it on the nightstand.

Carefully removes his airpods.

Jisung startles.

"Shhh, Bug, it’s just me.”

He opens his eyes, makes a sweet, sleepy little sound and pouts. “Min. You’re home.”

He raises the blanket, inviting Minho into the bed.

“Please?”

He’s sleepy and he wants to be held.

Everything he thought earlier not entering his tired mind.

Minho sighs, resigned to the fact that he can never say no to him. A warning bell blares in his head, but he’s still feeling enough from the alcohol that he ignores it.

That’s what he tells himself anyway.

It can’t simply be that he wants to hold Jisung too.

He gets in the bed, wraps his arms around Jisung and pulls him close. Jisung puts his hand over Minho’s, snuggles his butt back, closer to him, and falls back to sleep.

Minho lays awake, cuddling Jisung to him like it's the last time he'll be able to. And maybe it is. After what he did, who knows?

Sleep wont come for all the thoughts tumbling through his head. Most of them castigating himself for his foolishness.

He feels like he's ruined something that never had the chance to start.

Something precious.

He's...sad. Ashamed. A fucking idiot.

Whatever he's feeling, he deserves it. Wants to feel it. Actually welcomes the fuckers this time.

He can justify this away. Of course he can.

It's not like they're boyfriends. But he knows there's something between them.

Knew there was something blooming. Especially after talking to Chan.

But he couldn’t handle it, could he.

Instead of nurturing it, he ripped it out by the roots. Threw it on the ground. Stomped on it. Set it on fire.

Oh for crying out loud. The fucking drama with him right now. He rolls his eyes.

But no, instead of making the sane, adult decision, he ran from Chan and his god damn questions, right into Ido's mouth.

Because he was scared.

Terrified.

With reason, but still. 

And what’s so bad? He wasn't even thinking about Ido when he was with him.

No, it was Jisung's mouth kissing down his neck.

Jisung's hands touching him.

Jisung's wet heat around his cock.

Could he be anymore of a shit human?

Welcome to the fucking consequences of your actions, asshole, he thinks.

Even though nothing has even happened yet. He supposes he's trying to prepare himself for the inevitable.

But right now, Jisung is still curled up next to him. Warm. Softly snoring. Safe. Blissfully unaware of the exact flavor of dick his best friend is.

He should leave. Take his nasty ass out of Sungie's bed. He still has the taint of Ido on him.

Jesus Christ. He's disgusted with himself.

To be fair Sungie didn't give him much of a choice.

Minho could have left by now, but he's too selfish. He's realized he wants as much of this as he can get before his Bug knows the truth of him.

He stops to consider that he called him "his" Bug. His Bug. His Sungie. When did that happen? He can’t even remember. Maybe it’s always been.

It’s 4am when Minho slips out of Jisung’s bed, carefully extricating himself from where their limbs are tangled.

“Please don’t wake up, please don’t wake up,” he chants in his head while slowly getting to his feet.

He walks quietly out the room, turning to look at Jisung before he leaves.

He wants to remember this, him.

Because he’s not sure this will ever happen again once Jisung knows.

Jisung wakes up around 9:30am, feeling well rested. He’s surprised he was able to sleep so well given how difficult it was for him to go to sleep. And how …he’s not even sure what emotion he was feeling last night when Min said he probably wasn’t coming home…he lands on disappointment. Shrugging it off, new day and all, he checks his phone. Sees the text from Minho.

To: LITTLEBABY_BUG (JISUNG) 11/6/25, 12:13am

Are you ok, Sungie? I’m coming home. I’ll be there in 20.

I’m sorry

That’s kind of a weird response. But at least he came home.

As his brain starts waking up, he remembers Minho coming into his room and that Jisung had asked him to cuddle. Maybe that’s why he slept so well. Odd that Min didn’t stay the whole night, though.

Jisung gets up to use the bathroom, wash his face, brush his teeth, then goes to find Minho.

He arrives at his door, open, and walks in.

Min is still sleeping.

Odd.

He goes to the bed and slides in next to him, still craving that warmth and closeness that cuddling brings.

Jisung turns on his side to look at Minho, who has the blankets pulled so high only his head is visible.

His hair is messy, crushed and tangled from where he’s slept on it. He has a little bit of drool at the corner of his mouth. His eyes are crusty with sleep. Lines on his face from his pillow. He’s still the most beautiful person Jisung has ever seen.

He moves closer, under the covers. Starts to wrap his arms around Minho’s ribs to get closer.

Has a sudden understanding that Minho isn’t wearing a shirt.

He stops, unsure what the protocol is for this.

He needs to touch him. Not because he’s turned on, but because his body is craving…something.

He decides to continue. Min is a light sleeper. If he doesn’t want Jisung to touch him, he’ll let him know.

He slides one arm under him, the other skimming over his stomach and chest. Big circles, over his abs, up his ribs, over his pecs, down the other side.

Again. Lightly. So lightly.

He loves the feel of skin on his hand. The different textures in different places.

He wishes Min didn’t have to keep his body waxed so there would be even more difference for his hand to feel. He loves this, he decides.

He feels it when Minho surfaces from sleep. That tiny inhale, body tensing when he registers that Jisung is next to him.

His eyes open as he turns to look at him. Sleepy. Soft. Happy.

“Bug.”

“Hi, Min.”

“What are you doing in here? What time is it?”

“It’s sometime after 930a. I woke up and wanted to cuddle more. I hope it’s ok,” he says in a quiet, gravely morning voice.

Minho nods, wiggles his body a little as if to say keep doing what you’re doing.

Minho closes his eyes again and sighs, enjoying the way Jisung’s hand feels on him. He’s really just a big cat who loves to be touched. He wouldn’t admit that to anyone if pressed, but it’s true. But only when it’s his Sungie doing the touching.

He turns over to his side so Jisung’s hands can reach his back. As he’s lightly scratching down it, it all comes slamming down into his head.

Last night.

Ido.

Fuck.

He goes rigid.

“Stop,” he says through his teeth. “Please.”

Jisung’s hands immediately stop and move away from him. He feels the loss of touch so deeply he wants to sob. But he can’t do this to him.

“I…I’m s-sorry, hyung. I-I d-didn’t m-m-mean to make you un-uncomfortable,” he says, almost whining.

“You didn’t, Sungie,” he lies. “I just have to pee.”

He moves to the side of the bed, sitting with his legs over the side for a moment, head down.

Takes a deep breath, gets up and walks to his bathroom.

Still shirtless.

Everything on his body on display, for the world to see.

For his Bug to see.

He knows the exact moment when he does.

He hears the gasp.

The hand slapped over the mouth just after it.

The rustle of blankets.

The footsteps running.

“Fuck,” he says quietly.

To himself.

Because there’s nobody else in the room anymore.

Chapter 20: 20 - Said You'd Keep Me Safe, Now You're Tearing Me Down

Summary:

Minho takes a look at himself. Jisung reacts to what happened.

Chapter title from Vandalize, by ONE OK ROCK.

Minho goes into the bathroom. Stares at his reflection in the mirror. Really looks at himself.

“Ugly,” he whispers to himself.

“How could you fucking do that?”

Shuts his eyes, like that will keep the thoughts from coming. 

He opens them again, eyes flicking down his body, trying to see what Jisung saw.

Crimson trails mapping the skin of his torso.

Red.

Raw. 

Dark marks on his collarbones.

One on the back of his neck. 

Whore.

He’s not, but that’s how he feels.

Giving his body to someone else like it’s nothing.

It’s everything.

What if Sungie hadn’t texted him back, interrupting? He’d have let Ido fuck him right there on the floor. 

Instead of being a man, communicating, he tried to fuck his way out of it. For what. 

He’s a fool.

 

He wishes he’d never gone in there.

Wishes he were a different person, one who doesn’t need touch to make him feel normal.

One who doesn’t crave the warmth of skin on skin to make him feel loved.

Safe.

He'd give anything, everything, to have not seen those marks in Minho’s skin.

“Stop. Please.”

Those words repeat in his head.

“Stop. Please.”

“STOP. PLEASE.”

He hears Minho’s voice, imagines the way his mouth would have looked shaping them if he’d been looking toward Jisung.

He was lying…he wanted him to stop because…because…he doesn’t want Jisung.

Never has.

He did want him to stop touching him.

Jisung isn’t beautiful.

He isn’t desirable.

He’s just a person Minho feels responsible for because he knows what a fucked up life Jisung has led.

He knows he depends on Minho for a lot. So much.

He couldn’t stand to feel Jisung’s hands on his skin. Not even for that…cuddling.

He knows exactly what those marks were from. He’s not stupid. Inexperienced, yes. But not stupid.

Someone else’s nails made those marks. Not his nails.

Someone else’s mouth made those marks. Not his mouth.

This is why Minho said he was sorry. This is the fucking reason.

Jisung feels so stupid.

He calls Felix. “Can you meet me for lunch in an hour? Please, Felix. I don’t know what to do.” He’s close to sobbing. Felix can hear it in his voice. He doesn’t even ask what’s wrong, just says yes. 

Jisung gets in the shower, needing something to do other than think. When he’s done, he towels off, does his hair and gets dressed in the baggiest pants and biggest hoodie he has. Black. Black platform Converse. Dark sunglasses over his eyes. Hood up over his hair. He straps his black leather crossbody messenger bag over his shoulder and leaves his room.

He stops by the cat tree in the living room to say hi to the cats. Minho is sitting on the couch. He looks up from where he’s scrolling on his phone, locks it and says “Where are you going?” Not in a mean way, just asking. Very quietly, as though he knows he doesn’t have the right.

Jisung turns around. Stares at him in a way that conveys both none of your fucking business and why would you care? He shakes his head. Pivots on his foot toward the front door. As he walks across the living room he turns and looks at Minho. Opens his mouth to say something. Closes it. He doesn’t even know what he would say. Too many words in his head. Too much hurt and confusion. Instead, he turns, leaves. Slamming the door on his way out. 

Jisung gets to the cafe where he’s meeting Lix. It’s a beautiful, sunny day. The sky is blue and there are big puffy white clouds dotting the sky. Because of course there fucking are.

Why wouldn’t the weather be exceptional when his heart is full of tears?

Fucking ball of fucking fire in the fucking sky. Stupid fucking white fucking clouds. FUCK!

He wants to scream. Instead, he walks inside, finds Felix and nods at him.

He goes to the counter and orders his usual - Iced Americano and a slice of cheesecake. The barista will bring his order to him when it’s ready. He walks over to sit in the chair across from Felix. 

“Hey, Ji. What’s going on? You sounded like shit on the phone.”

“Thanks for meeting me, Lix. I wasn’t sure what else to do. I had to leave.” His eyes are big. Glassy. Sad. Mouth downturned at the corners in a frown. He looks like he might have tear tracks down his cheeks. 

Felix grabs his hand where it’s sitting on the table. “I’m always here for you, babe. How can I help?”

“He had marks, Lix,” Jisung chokes out on a sob.

Felix guesses what he means, but asks anyway.

“Who had marks? What kind of marks?”

“Minho,” he says so quietly he’s not sure Lix hears him. He clearly does because his eyes get huge in his small face.

“The kind of marks only another person can make on you. When you’re having sex, or foreplay, or whatever it is.”

Another sob. And another.

“Why would he do that? What’s wrong with me?”

Felix softly rubs his hands over Jisung’s, thinking.

“There is nothing wrong with you, Ji. Nothing. When did it happen, do you think?”

“I’m sure it happened last night,” he barely chokes out.

“Ok, why do you think that?”

“A couple reasons. I texted him last night asking when he was going to be home after his schedule. He’d told me after 10, but it was after 10 and he wasn’t home. He texted me back saying he was going to a friend’s house and wasn’t sure if he was coming home. Then he texted me back later and at the end said I’m sorry. Also, he didn’t have any marks on him when he had that tank top on. I would have seen them. I feel so stupid.”

Felix looks at him, working through his options. His promises.

“Ji, I’m going to tell you something. I don’t have all the info because there were things Chan would not share - personal stuff, he said, but I do think I understand what’s going on. This does not excuse anything, but it might help you put this into perspective.”

Jisung nods. Wipes the tears from his face when he sees the barista walking over with his order.

He glances up, mutters “thanks.”

The barista looks at him.

“You ok, cutie?” he asks with a soft smile.

Jisung doesn’t clock the flirt, but Felix does. “He will be.”

He walks off with a wave and a “let me know if you need a refill or anything. No charge today.”

Felix continues.

“I talked to Chan yesterday. Just after, or around the end of when you and I met up, Min and Chan did too. After Min’s schedule.”

Jisung looks at him, eyes dark and serious.

“He said it was about you. And Min. And what might be going on between you.”

Jisung waits for him to continue.

“All of us, except me because you and I have talked about Min a lot, thought you and he were already, uh, fucking and/or in a relationship with each other.”

“W-What? That’s ridiculous!” Jisung barks out incredulously, cheeks dark pink.

“Why would anyone think that?”

“Are you seriously asking me that, Jisung?”

“Yeah, Felix, I actually am.”

“Chan said Min had the same reaction as you, but after Chan explained it, Min could see why people think that. But Chan was equally as shocked as I am that neither of you know this. You guys flirt - all the time. You touch each other in ways that are usually reserved for romantic partners. It’s in the way you interact with each other. You’ve said yourself that so many people tell you what a cute couple you are, and other comments like that.”

Jisung nods, understanding dawning.

“Min said that he sees it, and that maybe you are in a relationship…how did he put it…emotionally entangled with romantic tendencies…but that neither of you knew it because it’s always been like this for you.”

“That sounds…”

Jisung doesn’t know how it sounds. He knows how he wants it to sound, to mold it into something that obviously can’t be true. Not with what he knows now, anyway. Maybe yesterday it could have been true. But not today. Today it can’t be. He doesn’t finish his sentence.

“Doesn’t sound very true right now, does it, baby?”

“It really doesn’t, Lixie. If he felt anything at all for me, how could he do what he did last night?”

“I’ll leave it at this, and you see how you feel about it, what you want to do, ok?”

Jisung nods.

“Chan said that he and Minho were finally getting to the meat of the issue, and that he’d asked him a very pointed question. Right after Min answered it, he drank the rest of his drink, got up and left. Chan said he was pretty drunk. Again, doesn’t excuse what he did, but you know he doesn’t “do feelings” and he’s definitely got some. About you. I don’t think he knew what to do with them. And I think he’s also scared - and you are too - about ruining what you have. I could be wrong about this, but I really don’t think I am. I’ve known you guys for too long to be wrong about this. I think you’re destined to be together, even when one of you is a complete fucking moron who made the wrong decision before you talked about being together.”

He shrugs, knowing Jisung has to be the one to make the decision.

“My 2 cents.”

He stands up, gestures for Jisung to do the same.

“I will support whatever decision you make, Sungie. I love you.”

Felix hugs him tightly.

“Thanks, Felix. I need to think about this. It’s a lot.”

Today is not the day for Jisung to think about it, though. He knows that consciously trying to think through all this is going to lead him into a panic attack, most likely, and he doesn’t want to deal with it. Nor does he want to deal with Minho. Instead, he decides to go pick up his packages from his PO box and try on his new stuff. He still needs to go toy shopping, too. 

When he gets home Minho is sitting on the couch in the exact position as when he left. Jisung barely glances at him as he walks with his packages to his room. If he looked at him, he’d see the embarrassment and sadness front and center on his face. The way his eyes looked longingly at Jisung, like he wanted to walk over and engulf him a hug and beg for his forgiveness. But he didn’t look. And it might not have mattered anyway. He doesn’t see Minho’s shoulders sag. His eyes close. The tears sliding down his face.

Jisung puts the packages on his bed, brushing the blanket Minho gave him off to the side, not wanting to see it right now. He sets the packages out neatly, noticing one that he wasn’t expecting. He sees who it’s from and grins. 3catdad. He grabs his scissors and opens the package. He didn’t disappoint. There are quite a few things included and Jisung is touched by the thoughtfulness of the gifts. He really likes this guy. Wonders why he’d be so sweet to someone he doesn’t even know.

He goes through the presents one by one.

There’s a box of 3 butt plugs. Ooohhh with a pink gem at the end of each of them. He opens them up and realizes it’s kind of an anal play training kit. He can start with the smallest one and move up when he’s ready. He imagines what it will feel like, and wants to see what he looks like with it in, and the gem covering his hole.

The next thing is a small glass dildo. He’s never seen a glass dildo, and obviously hasn’t used one, but he’s intrigued by the idea of it. It’s clear glass, and the shaft has different sized humps going up it. The end of it has a pretty pink heart, where you’d hold onto it. It’s not terribly thick, but it has some length. He could see using it to fuck himself on a stream.

The next gift is a leather harness. It’s actually really beautiful, and well made, black with pink accents. It comes over his shoulders and around his ribs. Those straps meet at his chest, attaching to large, thick O rings that surround his nipples. They’d accentuate his piercings.

Next is a short leather skirt, again accented with pink. It’s a black A-line skirt, very short, with pink stitching.

The last gift is a black satin thong with pink lace ruffles around the hips. It’s beautiful.

Jisung is thrilled with all of it, and eager to try it all out. He decides he’ll put the clothing pieces on and send 3catdad some pictures of himself. Maybe he’ll try the small butt plug, too. Show him a pic of it inside. He’s getting a little excited by the thought.

After his conversation with Lixie he was feeling pretty down, so he’s happy 3catdad paid for the overnight shipping. He looks at it again…he only told him last night at like 11:30p…did he have the package couriered to his PO Box? Ok, wow. Guess he really wanted him to have the stuff right away. Is that weird? He can’t decide. 

He immediately sends 3catdad a message to thank him. 

[private message] from HanG 11/6/25 2:30pm
Hey there. I got the package and…wow! I love everything you put in there. You must have had it couriered or something because it got here today, and I only told you yes late last night. Make sure you stay by your computer because I’m going to send you some pics in a bit. 😜 I can’t wait to try everything on. It’s all so beautiful. 

You’re the best. Thank you again.

HanG

He goes through the rest of his packages, putting together the outfits he envisioned when he purchased them, and snapping some photos to send to Felix to show him what he bought. Felix, of course, loves everything he shows him, and offers up some pieces from his own closet that he thinks will look good with Jisung’s purchases. 

Instead of doing more shopping, Jisung decides to fix himself up a bit and then take pictures for 3catdad. He hops in the shower (2nd for the day, he realizes) and does a quick shave of everything.

He washes the smallest of the butt plugs while he’s in the shower, and also washes the glass dildo. Puts lube on it from his shower supply, then hikes his leg up on his teak shower stool so he can insert it. He relaxes and actually has no problem putting it in. It feels weird, but not in a bad way. He’s sure he’ll get used to it. He wants to see how it looks, so he uses his hand mirror to see. Whoa. It’s so pretty. He loves it and can’t wait to show it off!

After he dries off, he puts on his makeup. Today he’s going to try, operative word try since he’s not great at makeup, for a dark, smokey eye with pink and silver highlights, and a glossy lip. He doesn’t use foundation or blush as his skin is smooth and his cheeks have enough color of their own. He’s pretty successful with his makeup, and following a YouTube tutorial helped. He adds 3 graduated size pink crystals under each eye. Done!

The first article of clothing he puts on is the thong. It fits him perfectly. He realizes it’s actually made for men, with a pouch in the front as opposed to the usual flat fabric in women’s underwear. It’s so much more comfortable. It’s nice because it cradles him instead of squishing. The ruffles frame his hips just right, and of course his ass looks amazing with the string disappearing between his cheeks, and the v-shaped piece of fabric at the top connecting under the ruffles in the back.

Next is the skirt, which fits perfectly, the top of it just skimming his hips, over the top of the thong. It will be amazing with his belly ring. He changes it out for an all black one that dangles right above the waistband of the skirt.

Lastly, he puts on the harness. As he suspected, it fits perfectly, with his nipples dead center in the large O rings, straps going over his shoulders and around his ribcage. He adjusts the buckles, then takes a look in his mirror.

Holy fuck. He actually looks hot.

He goes and gets his black slouchy socks and Docs with the pink stitching and puts them on. Looks again at his outfit.

He takes a picture and sends it to Felix, with the caption “I look hot, right? This is what 3catdad sent me!” Then he takes another pic of the thong, front and back, and one of the other butt plugs and dildo. He does not show Felix the one in his ass. He’s saving that for 3catdad.

Felix hits him back right away - “Jesus Fucking Christ, Sungie. You look sooooo good. SO GOOD. Look at you, babe!”

Jisung grins at his friend’s response. He feels sexy in this outfit and can’t wait to show 3catdad. 

Jisung makes sure the full length mirror in his room is clean and that there’s nothing showing that could identify him in the photos. He puts his phone on the tripod and takes a bunch of shots. Then he kneels on his bed and tries to find the best way to show the plug. Eventually he figures it out and takes a couple with the thong sort of covering it and then some showing his hand pulling it off to the side, with the plug completely showing. He’s turned on by his own pictures, and he knows 3catdad will be too. 

He sits down on the bed and chooses the pictures he wants to send. Again, making extra double sure that none of them show anything identifying. They don’t. All good. 

[private message] from HanG 11/6/25 5:30pm
Hi again! Here are the pictures I promised. Thank you so, so much for this! I was having a shit day and you made it better. 

I feel really sexy in this outfit. 

Question - how long should I leave it in? I’m seriously asking. Never used one before. 

Let me know how you like the pics, ok? Obviously NSFW!

Thanks!

HanG

8 pics attached

Jisung throws on a tshirt over the harness and walks out to the kitchen. Hears a startled intake of breath and looks over his shoulder to see Minho still sitting there, staring at him with his mouth agape, cheeks flushed.

He goes back to what he was doing, getting a bottle of water, and saunters back to his room, hips swinging a little more than usual.

He forgot he was wearing a skirt.

Not that it showed much from under the shirt.

But whatever. 

In his head, “Fuck you, Minho. This is what you’re missing.”

Chapter 21: 21 - Don’t Be Fake, Say It To My Face, Karma’s At The Door

Summary:

Jisung enjoys 3catdad. Minho sits on the couch.

Chapter title from Party's Over, by ONE OK ROCK.

To: LITTLEBABY_BUG (JISUNG) 11/6/25 5:33pm

Ji-ji! We’re going out tonight and you have to come with! Wear something pretty that you can dance in, babe! You’re already all dolled up anyway…see you at 9pm at the club? Pleaaaassssseeeee?

To: SUNSHINE TWINK (FELIX) 11/6/25 5:37pm

Fifi. No. Please don’t ask me to do this. Not today. ☹️❤️‍🩹

To: LITTLEBABY_BUG (JISUNG) 11/6/25 5:37pm

Baby, that’s the exact reason I’m asking. Come on. You need this.

To: SUNSHINE TWINK (FELIX) 11/6/25 5:38pm

You’re the worst. I hate you. Fine. I’ll come. 😖

[private message] from [3catdad] 11/6/25 5:40pm
Hi gorgeous.

I’m so sorry to hear that your day hasn’t been great. But I’m so glad you liked all the goodies I sent and they cheered you up a bit. Yeah, I did have it couriered over. I wanted you to have the stuff, and I’m impatient. 😂 I hope it didn’t make you uncomfortable.

In any case, HanG, look at you. You’re fucking beautiful. You have me so, so turned on right now, showing me how you look in what I bought you and the pictures of the plug in you.

I want to be respectful, so unless you ask, I won’t share my more, ah, private thoughts.

Would you do me a favor, pretty, and put one of your masks on and take a picture of all of you? I know you don’t want to show your face, but you have such a long, lovely neck and beautiful, expressive eyes, and I’d love to see them. Only if you want to. It’s always your choice, baby.

You can leave the plug in for hours, if you want, but since you’re just starting out, maybe no longer than 30 minutes? I don’t want your sweet hole getting sore.

Would it be okay with you if I send you more stuff if I see something I think you’d look pretty in for me? Would that make you feel good?

Will I see you live again soon?

-3catdad

[private message] from HanG 11/6/25 5:53pm
Hey there. 🙂 Will you tell me I’m good if I send you more pictures? Wow that sounds desperate. LOL

I feel a little silly, actually. I did my makeup for you, then realized I couldn’t show it to you because I don’t show my face. But I think it will all still show with a mask on.

Do you really want more pictures?

I’ll stream soon. In the next couple of days, most likely. I just need to get through this stuff with my roommate and I’ll be good. It’s a tough situation.

-HanG

[private message] from [3catdad] 11/6/25 6:00pm
Yes, my silly, pretty boy. I want more pictures. I enjoy looking at you. Now be good for me and take more, please. I can’t wait to see how you did your makeup just for me.

I love praising you, Hannie, telling you what a good boy you are for me. How pretty you look.

It’s not desperate to ask for what you need, baby. It makes me proud of you when you do that.

Do you want to talk about what’s going on with your roommate? I don’t know if I can help, but I’m a good listener, and maybe I can give some advice.

-3catdad

Jisung is thrilled that 3catdad wrote back so quickly and that he wants to see more pictures. Of him. On top of that, he can’t get over how kind and charming he is. He knows part of the thrill is the attention he’s getting from him, especially when the person he actually wants attention from…nope, not going there. Can’t.

[private message] from HanG 11/6/25 6:23pm
Sorry for the delay. ☺️ I did what you asked, and I also took some others. I hope you like them.

I just realized I didn’t answer your other questions. Hmmm…do I want to know your more private thoughts? I do, I think. But maybe you could share them later tonight? I’m going out to a club with my friends. I’m not sure how long I’ll stay, but I can let you know when I’m ready for your messages, if that’s ok.

I don’t want to take advantage of you, so I will leave it up to you whether you send anything else.

I’m still processing what happened with my roommate, but when I’m ready to talk about it, and if I need to, I will. You make me feel supported. Thank you for that.

-HanG

9 pictures attached

[private message] from [3catdad] 11/6/25 6:27pm
I know I keep saying this, Hannie, but you are beautiful. So, so pretty. And such a good boy for me. You listened well.

Thank you for the extra pictures, baby.

There he is again, telling me what he needs. I’ll wait to hear from you tonight. There’s no pressure, though. If you decide against it, that’s okay too.

I’ll be here to listen if you need me to.

-3catdad

Jisung is conflicted. He likes the way he feels when he’s messaging with 3catdad, but he knows it’s not real. It’s just some random guy on the internet trying to get off, and because he is nice, trying to make Jisung feel better and lavish attention on him. He’ll continue it for now, but he doesn’t want to get used to it.

To: SUNSHINE TWINK (FELIX) 11/6/25 7:30pm

Lixie. I’m nervous. I want to wear one of my new skirts. Should I? And I have makeup on…it’s kinda dark with crystals under the eyes. Look at the pic and tell me what I should do. 🥺

He already knows what Felix is going to say, but he needs to hear from someone else that he doesn’t look dumb. That he did a good job with his makeup and that wearing a skirt is okay. He's trying not to judge himself for needing the extra validation, but it's hard not to. 

To: LITTLEBABY_BUG (JISUNG) 11/6/25 7:33pm

Ji-ji, you look beautiful. Your makeup is *chef’s kiss* and you know how I feel about you in a skirt. Show off those cute little bambi legs. 🫦

To: SUNSHINE TWINK (FELIX) 11/6/25 7:43pm

This is me groaning. I knew you’d say that. Ugh. Fine. I’m going full twink tonight. Promise me you won’t leave me alone, though.

Felix gives a thumbs up to Jisung’s message.

He takes off the stuff from 3catdad and throws it in his closet to put away later, then pulls on the army green skirt he just got, along with the black distressed cropped sweater. He applies black petals over his nipple piercings, leaving in the belly piercing he already has. He puts on underwear just like what he wore running the other night - tight, short, black boxer briefs, then changes his pink stitched Docs to all black combat boots.

The skirt hits an inch above his knees, so it’s long enough to cover everything, he thinks. Even if he bends over and someone sees his underwear, they look like shorts. He looks in the mirror. For the second time today, he feels sexy. Looks hot.

Ah! He barely remembers to change his earrings, putting in tiny black hoops in the first hole of each ear, then diamond studs in the subsequent 2 holes. He grabs a variety of rings for his fingers. Puts them on. Brushes his teeth and takes another look in the mirror to check everything is still looking right. All good.

He snaps a pic from the neck down to send to 3catdad later…maybe. He takes a deep breath, puts his essentials - including his anxiety rescue meds - into a small crossbody bag, and walks out of his room.

As he steps out into the hallway, he idly wonders if Minho is still sitting on the couch. Wanders to the living room.

Yep. Still there.

Has he moved at all today? Eaten? He gets frustrated with himself for caring.

Minho is staring at him. Again. Like he’s never seen him before.

Ok, that might be fair because Jisung generally doesn’t wear makeup outside of his streams, and he certainly doesn’t wear skirts in public, except that one time. It makes sense, then - Minho has never seen him looking quite like this.

Minho’s eyes flick up and down his body, finally catching at his bare legs. Up. Thighs. Up. Abs. Belly piercing clearly exposed. The sound of a breath being sucked in. Up. Petals peeking through the distressed yarn of the sweater. Up. Face with makeup.

“Sungie.” Minho can’t breathe. “Sung,” he tries again.

“What, Minho?” he says sharply, watching the expression change to something forlorn on his face.

“You…you look. Beautiful. You’re beautiful.”

Jisung marches up to him. Bends over, angry face in his face, body in his personal space.

“You do not get to say shit like that to me right now.”

Breaths coming hard, chest rising and falling with effort.

“How fucking dare you.”

He wants to sob. To fall apart. But he won’t give Minho the satisfaction of seeing him like that.

“Jisu-,”

“Just don’t. Please,” Jisung cuts him off, voice low and trembling.

Minho tries again. “Sungie, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

“Whatever, Min. I’m going out. I don’t know when, or if, I’ll be home tonight. Maybe I'll go home with someone tonight.”

He storms out of the apartment.

All Minho can do is sit and watch him leave.

 

He sits there, ass stuck to the couch. Thinking. Considering his options.

He makes his decision, even though he’s not sure it’s the right one. He doesn’t know up from down right now, but he’s going to try his best.

Minho takes a quick shower, more rinse than anything else, dries off and gets dressed to go out. Black pants that sit low on his trim hips, tight against his ass and thighs, framing him in the front just right.

Pulls out a deep black collared shirt, the cut of it so low that the lines of his pecs are visible. On either side is a slit that opens when the shirt is pulled, showing his nipples.

He rolls the sleeves up, highlighting his powerful forearms, and secures his silver bracelets around his wrists, silver rings on his fingers.

He sprays cologne at his throat and wrists, then reaches up to deal with his hair. Tonight he styles it so it’s parted in the middle, separated to show his forehead, long bangs coming down on the sides to touch his eyebrows.

He decides on black eyeliner that swoops to the ends of his eyes, accentuating his natural shape, making them look bigger. Adds a little shimmery silver to the inside corners. No mascara. He doesn't need it. 

He swipes a light gloss over his lips, adds small silver hoops to his ears and checks his reflection.

He’s ready to go.

He finds his phone, wallet and keys, then stops to put on his ¾ length black lug soled boots.

Minho unlocks his phone to check the text from Felix. He’d texted him to ask him to come too, but Minho had said no. He didn’t think it was a good idea at the time, and probably still isn’t, but he feels pulled to go. To protect or apologize or just be somewhere close to the sun he orbits.

He gets the location from the text and starts walking. It doesn’t take long to get to the club - maybe 20 minutes.

He knows Jisung is at the club already. He asked Felix to let him know to make sure his Bug got there safely.

Minho opens the door to the club, music spilling out. He walks in. It’s loud. He knows Jisung is probably feeling overwhelmed from the noise and number of people packed in here tonight.

He looks for him, hunting through the crowd, looking for his person. He finally finds Felix’s blonde hair and makes eye contact with him.

Felix tilts his head to the side, as if to indicate something. Minho follows and sees Jisung.

He’s dancing with Hyunjin, but Minho can see a few guys looking, no, staring at his Sungie.

The way he should be looking at him.

Did look at him the other night.

Jisung doesn’t seem to notice, concentrating on holding his drink and dancing, making sure not to spill a drop.

Minho wants to go over to him, but he knows he needs to wait. Tonight he’s a cat stalking his prey.

So he waits.

Has a drink.

Watches Jisung.

God he’s beautiful.

Those long, long legs in that short skirt. The way his cropped sweater rises further up, drawing attention to his intoxicatingly tiny waist. A quick flash in his head, knowing if he fucked him, he’d see a bulge there.

The thought of it makes him shudder. The image of it in his head makes him hot.

He sees a twinkle right above the waist of the skirt. He was right…he’s pierced. This one catching the light as if to draw his eye to it. The thought of that makes him sweat. He wants to catch it in his teeth and tug on it, make Sungie squirm under him.

His eyes travel further up, to Jisung’s face. He’s smiling, having fun. Minho wishes he were the reason for the smile, for the fun. He knows it’s the opposite.

He keeps his gaze steady. Just waiting for the right time.

Jisung finishes his drink. Tells Hyunjin he’ll be right back and sidles up to the bar for another one.

He’s walking back to the dance floor with his full drink when a guy approaches him, encroaching into his space, and starts dancing with him. Jisung isn’t really into it and keeps walking back to Hyunjin. The guy doesn’t get the picture. He keeps dancing, trying to grind up on Jisung, who anyone could tell is not enjoying this. The advances are definitely unwanted.

Jisung is getting upset and starts telling the guy to leave. He isn’t listening, still touching him.

Minho is fucking done. Nobody touches what is his.

He stomps over, face full of fury. He takes the guy by the back of his collar and bodily moves him away.

“HE SAID NO, ASSHOLE.”

“What the fuck, dude? That little twink wants it. Look at him.”

Jisung stands behind Minho, scrunched down, making himself appear smaller, the look on his face full of fear and embarrassment.

Minho is not rational right now, seeing red and about to give this guy a free facial renovation with his fist.

He’s got his arm cocked, ready to let loose when he hears it.

“Minho.” Jisung puts a light hand to his shoulder.

“Minho,” he tries again, lips closer to his ear. He puts his arm around his waist from behind.

“Minho STOP,” he all but yells, when he sees his fist start to move.

He stops immediately, as if Jisung were holding the remote control to his body and he’d just pressed pause.

The guy takes the opportunity to run to the other side of the bar.

Minho turns to Jisung, still behind him.

“He touched you, Jisung. Without your consent. He fucking touched you," he scrapes out. Voice raw, eyes huge.

Jisung’s gaze is drawn to Minho’s eyes. Then he looks down again, at the floor.

Minho seems unable to stop the words that flow out of his mouth.

“He didn’t ask. He just fucking thought he could feel you, use you, because you decided to wear a skirt and some makeup. Why does he think he can do that? Why…why…does he think he can touch what’s mine?”

Jisung’s head shoots up, his expression confused, then angry, hurt.

“I’m sorry, what’s yours? I am not, nor have I ever been yours, Minho,” he all but screams.

A sound cracks out of him, like laughter but there's nothing funny.

“The absurdity of this situation is not lost on you, I hope,” he holds Minho’s stare. his own blazing.

“You decided I wasn’t worth it, wasn’t good enough, pretty enough or whatever enough for you, Min. Yesterday. You fucked some “friend” while I was at home hoping you’d see us for what we are…were. But instead you decided to get your dick wet because YOU. DON’T. WANT. ME! How can you possibly think I’m yours after that?”

He shakes his head as if to clear it.

“This,” he gestures between them, “is…is…I have no words. I don’t know. It’s literally unknowable. What are we, Min? Because we certainly aren’t what I thought you were giving signals of wanting to be. Or I misread them horribly. Maybe you were just horny and my pretty body got you hotter. Put a name on it for me, babe,” using the word pejoratively. “Because I certainly can’t.”

Minho is stuck.

Stuck in his head, agony whirling in his chest, unable to answer Jisung through the static in his brain.

“What are we? What are we? WHAT ARE WE?”

That’s all he can hear. See. Taste. His senses overfull with it.

“We’re…we’re…you’re. Mine, Bug. You’re mine.”

He stands there.

Waiting.

For what, he’s not sure.

Chapter 22: 22 - ‘Cause I'm Not Good At Loving Someone As Good As You

Summary:

Minho tries to show Jisung how he feels. Jisung needs more.

Chapter title from Let Me Let You Go by ONE OK ROCK.

Notes:

If you don't know what "there's no room for Jesus" means: there's a saying in the South (as far as I know it) that says "leave room for Jesus," meaning leave room between you. It's usually used for teen dances so they don't get too close to each other. It wasn't meant to have any religious meaning behind it, just a Southern saying that amuses me.

MINHO

“Dance with me, Sungie.”

It may not look like it, but Minho is trying. He’s not good at this shit and he knows it.

“Let me show you that you’re mine. How I feel.”

Round, dark eyes continue to stare through him.

“Please, baby,” his voice begging, broken.

Jisung looks over at Felix, who is watching everything unfold. Jisung quirks his head to the side, a silent ask of “what do you think?” Felix shrugs his shoulders, “Do what you’re comfortable with, Ji,” he mouths.

Teeth capturing his bottom lip, gnawing on it, reddening it, Jisung nods once at Minho. 

That’s all the encouragement he needs. The song that’s blasting over the speakers doesn’t matter. They are in their own world, their bubble. 

Minho takes the drink from Jisung’s hand and puts it on the bar.

He puts his hands on his tiny waist and turns him so Minho’s chest is against his back.

His hands move to his hips and he pulls Jisung back so they’re flush together. There is no room for Jesus here. 

Minho starts moving. Circles his hips. Splays his hand across Jisung’s partially exposed lower stomach, his body mirroring the circular motion by virtue of how close they are. He can’t do anything else.

Jisung’s breath catches at the feel of slightly coarse skin on his belly.

The fingertips of one hand tangle with the dangle of his belly piercing. He feels the gentle tug. Tilts his head back onto Minho’s shoulder, a “more” leaves him on a shaky breath.

He doesn’t know if Minho even heard him.

He feels another tug at his belly and a soft sound breaks free. He feels Minho’s hand tighten momentarily on his other hip.

The dance continues like this for another heartbeat.

Minho feathers a hand slowly upwards, hearing the hitched breaths, the little gasps fall from Jisung’s lips as he teases his sensitive skin.

“Is this ok, Sungie? Can I keep touching you, baby?”

“Y-yes, hyung, p-please don’t stop.” Minho drags in a ragged breath. Happy for the affirmative because he doesn’t want to stop.

He feels Jisung settle back into him, impossibly closer, his ass grinding into the front of him.

Minho’s fingernails slide into the skin of Jisung’s side. Not harshly. Just enough for the rough, unmistakable scrape of nails to make him shiver. He feels the tiny bumps that form atop Jisung’s skin from the pleasure, the pads of his fingers dancing over them. Then his fingernails again.

Jisung drops another beautiful sound into Minho’s ear.

He realizes that all he has to do is turn his head a few degrees and his lips are touching the tantalizing skin of Jisung’s neck. The neck that has become his fascination.

As he kisses up it, he can feel the vibrations of the moans that Jisung is producing like a song. A song just for Minho.

His.

Mine.

“Mine,” he mouths against him.

His hips thrusting forward, not having asked for his own permission. The pillow of Jisung’s ass cushioning his hardness, the cleft an invitation he’s not sure he’s earned, but wants anyway.

One hand continues its journey up Jisung’s chest, finds the edge of the petal covering a nipple. He drifts around it, feeling it, wondering…Jisung’s hand comes up to still his.

Minho’s other hand slips down, down, until his touch reaches the hem of his skirt.

Slowly, oh so slowly he delves underneath it, blindly discovering the curve of his ass, bringing just the tippy tips of his fingers to brush up against the lush curve. His hips shallowly rutting against it while his hand continues its exploration.

He’s lost.

In heaven.

Has died.

Doesn’t care.

He knows only that this is where he is meant to be.

“Okay, Bug? I need to know if you’re okay.”

Jisung nods, “M’good, Min.”

Minho moves his hand to the meat of Jisung’s ass, a whole hand against it instead of just his fingertips.

Jisung brings his other hand to his mouth, kissing along his pointer finger before sucking it into his mouth. A surprised moan punches out of Minho, a small smile at his lips.

“What are you doing, baby?” he asks Jisung. Jisung lightly bites his finger in response, then swirls his tongue around the base of it.

Minho slides his hand along the fabric of Jisung’s boxers, from the back of his thigh around to the front.

Closer.

Closer.

Closer to where he wants to be.

The skirt giving privacy for his trip around Jisung’s lower body.

He extends his fingers slightly, running up the hard bulge at the juncture of his thighs.

Minho groans with want, Jisung goes rigid.

He gently disentangles himself from Minho.

Fixes his mussed clothes.

Turns to look at the man behind him.

Eyes glazed with desire. Cock hard and pulsing.

He’s talking about himself, but could just as easily be describing Minho.

He steps back.

He’s always known Minho would be good in bed, would give him what he wants.

But that’s only part of the equation.

He needs more.

He needs it all.

This…whatever this was, it wasn’t that. 

 

JISUNG

Despite what Minho says, he’s not his. Last night is evidence of that.

He doesn’t understand how Minho came to this conclusion.

How he states it with such certainty, given the circumstances in which they find themselves. 

“Dance with me, Sungie.” 

“Let me show you that you’re mine. How I feel.”

“Please, baby.” 

Reality jolts to a stop. Minho is begging. Minho doesn’t beg. Minho commands. Orders. Directs. 

What’s going on? Is he black out drunk? Hallucinating? He looks over to Felix, asking a silent question…what should I do? Lix thinks they are fated, so of course he doesn't say no. Just to do what he’s comfortable with. 

Jisung wants. He’s touch-starved. Horny. Sad. Bound to do the wrong thing. Which is to dance with the one he can’t help but want, even now.

Even if they just stood there, Minho’s hands on his hips, his hands on Minho’s shoulders, rocking side to side like untried teenagers, he’d do it.

There’s no world where he says no to this, even though deep down he knows it isn’t going to quiet the questions that continue to bubble up. 

He worries his bottom lip with his top teeth, tasting blood when he goes too far.

He looks at Minho. One nod. That’s all it takes.

Minho’s hands are on him. 

Minho has him by his waist, a hand on each side, almost meeting in the middle. The warmth of his hands catapulting Jisung into an orbit of pleasure he didn’t know was possible…just hands on his waist.

He feels himself flipped around, back to chest, pulled back into the cradle of Min’s body, as the hands drop to his hips. Snapped back against him, not an atom of space between them.

And then he starts moving. 

Jisung knows he shouldn’t be surprised. Min is a trained dancer. He’s touted for his incredible body control.

He starts making tiny circles with his hips, taking Jisung’s body with him. His hand spread out just below his piercing, on the naked skin above his skirt.

He feels it - a subtle pull, low, at his navel.

Oh.

Fuck.

“More” leaves his mouth before he knows that he’s spoken.

He’s wild with the urge to plead for him to do it again, but before he can, before he has to, he feels it.

Another sound falls, unbidden, unstoppable.

Minho reacts, hand gripping into his hip. Fingers going up his side. He sucks in a rough, needy breath.

A voice, “Is this ok, Sungie? Can I keep touching you, baby?”

Baby. Baby. He can’t think past that word.

He has to. Doesn’t want Min to stop.

“Y-yes, hyung, p-please don’t stop,” he mewls out.

He feels Minho’s reaction, that shuddering inhale. He sounds wrecked. Jisung selfishly hopes he is.

Jisung pushes back with his ass, finding just the right spot. Minho groans and rakes his hand up his side, fingernails digging into his skin again.

He shivers.

Whimpers.

Feels wetness at his neck.

He thinks he might combust.

Minho’s lips are on him.

He quite literally cannot stop moaning, the sounds pulled out of him.

Then a word, spoken just below his ear.

“Mine.”

Sparks thread through him.

Colorful, rainbow, beautiful.

He’d be fine if he expired at this exact moment.

Hardness at his ass, Minho rocking against him like he’s lost to the rhythm.

A fingertip teasing near his nipple. He stops it, moves Min’s hand away. He’s not ready for him to discover another secret yet. Not here. Not like this.

He feels a hand at the bottom of his skirt, then under it, fingers brushing against the swell of his ass.

“Okay, Bug? I need to know if you’re okay.” He mumbles out some kind of yes.

Registers a hand over his ass now, not just the light brush from before.

He catches his other hand and puts a finger to his mouth, kissing, then sucking, loving the shocked sound he gets in return. He grins around it.

His hand is still under his skirt, shaping, grasping.

It trails under his ass, around the outside of his thigh, across the front.

He wants this.

Feels the fingers at his length, the moan at his shoulder.

He goes still. He wants this, so so badly.

But this won’t solve the problem between them.

Jisung needs an explanation, reasons for what Minho did. Why he chose to hurt him.

He turns to Minho, attention rapt on his face.

Flushed. Panting. Lost in the haze of his own hunger.

Waits for him to register the pause.

“We need to talk.”

Chapter 23: 23 - I Wanna Be Your Lifeline, Babe, I've Got Time and You've Got Brave

Summary:

Jisung isn't sure what to do. Minho is.

Chapter title from Save Yourself by ONE OK ROCK.

He’s disoriented. Reeling. Teetering on the edge of sanity. One second he’s got his hand between Sungie’s legs and his neck under his mouth. And now? Now he’s struggling to make sense of what happened. 

“Sungie?” he questions, face adorable in its confusion. Jisung can’t help but look at him fondly, just for a moment. 

He needs to explain why he stopped. He knows that. He doesn’t want to but knows they have to, for both their sakes.

“Min,” he rasps, voice not normal yet, “I’m getting carried away, but I-I have to stop. We…we have to stop. There can’t be any…we can’t do this anymore until we talk…about us. About what each of us wants, why things changed so suddenly for you and what our expectations are moving forward. I’m scared. And anxious. And really fucking confused.” His cadence is getting faster and faster the more he talks. “You were basically eye-fucking me the other night in our gym then fucking around with someone else the next day. I was really hurt. I still am. Seeing those marks on you made me question myself, if I'm desirable to you, how I screwed it up…and everything I thought I saw you wanting. And I still don’t understand why you did that.”

He fixes his gaze over Minho’s shoulder, looking at Felix for strength. “And…um, there are things I should probably tell you. That you m-might not li…uh know.” 

Minho nods dumbly, still in a daze.

“Minho. Did you hear me? Understand what I said?”

Min looks at his feet, cheeks still flushed, body on fire. Brings his head back up, barely meeting Jisung’s eyes.

“Yeah. I get it.” He sounds upset. “I guess this didn’t work as well as I wanted,” he mumbles.

“Uh-uh." He shakes his head. "Don't do that. I heard your body loud and clear, Min. Don’t think for a second that I didn’t enjoy this. I’m pretty sure you know exactly how much I did. If this mess weren’t sitting between us, this would be a very different situation. You can trust me on that.”

He flicks his eyes down Minho’s body, trying not to ogle his arousal…too much.

“That,” he points with his eyes, “would be in my mouth right now.” He turns around to break the horny spell between him and Minho’s dick.

“HOWEVER, I’m not going to move forward on this, no matter how much I want to, until we figure out the rest of the shit. We…us…our relationship…is much more important to me than sex. I don’t want to ruin what we have, and I’m really afraid that we’re headed down that road already. So can we take a break from this part and talk? Please?” His voice is almost a whine. Minho hears it, hears the distress in his tone. There’s only one situation he wants to hear whining, and this is not it.

“Sungie,” he tries. “Jisung, look at me,” command woven through his tone. He turns, looks at Minho. Minho encircles his wrist with his fingers and pulls him along, Jisung almost tripping over his boots. He steers them to a less crowded part of the building, puts Jisung close to a wall, crowds him. He’s honestly not trying to start it up again, just wants them to be able to hear each other better. Ok, and maybe he can’t help himself, teasing him just a little.

He positions his lips at the shell of Jisung’s ear, “I don’t know where all this confidence has come from, Bug, but it’s fucking hot.” He feels Jisung straighten at his words, the blush on his face telling him everything he needs to know.

He puts his hand low on his hip, over the material of his skirt, rubs his thumb in a light circle. “I agree with you. We should talk. But please, baby, please don’t worry about us. Even if we can’t make this work, we’re gonna be ok. Nothing in this universe could tear us apart. Okay?” Jisung nods, eyes glassy, beautiful color still staining his face, brain bumping over that word again...baby.

“I want to kiss you. May I?” Jisung is nothing if not weak for this man, and he asked so sweetly.

“Y-Yes, Minho, you can kiss me. But after that this goes no further.”

“Got it.”

Minho dips his eyes to look at Sungie’s lips. Licks his own. Leans in slowly, savoring the moment. Their lips touch. Minho is surprised at how soft Jisung’s lips are.

He deepens the kiss, taking control.

Slowly.

Deliberately.

Feels Jisung melt against him.

Minho traces his tongue at the seam of his lips, desperate in a way that’s hard to control. Jisung opens, puts his hands around Minho’s neck, pulling him closer. Their tongues slide together, rhythm hungry. Needy.

He fists his hands at the back of his skirt, then around his ass, using the leverage to pull him closer still.

Cocks brushing, fabric a barrier to what they both want.

Whimper.

Moan.

They both pull away at the same time, knowing this is where it has to end…for now. Boundaries have been set. Limits must be respected.

And this is one more way he can show Jisung that he's hearing him. Give him security. Safety. He wants to do that, be that for him.

They look at each other, the moment heavy with things neither of them are ready to name. Not in this space.

They’re still close enough to breathe the other’s air.

“I’m going to stay. Dance some more.” Jisung looks at Minho for his reaction.

Possessiveness surges through him, strong enough to have his fists close with the effort to not let it show on his face. He just nods. Turns on his heel and walks away, knowing he won’t, can’t, leave until Jisung does.

He promises himself he will do nothing unless it’s warranted, like before.

He’ll sit.

Watch over what’s his.

Even if Jisung isn’t yet convinced that’s true.

For Minho it’s a truth laid down like stone - solid, final, irrevocable. 

 

Jisung finds Felix and Hyunjin in the crowd, walks slowly over to them. Still dazed from the kiss. Still trying to make sense of everything that’s happened tonight.

When he reaches them they’re looking at him like they’ve never seen him before. He looks at them, bashful, a soft pink hue to his round cheeks.

“Hi guys.”

They blink at him, eyes wide.

“What’s up?” he asks quietly, not knowing what else to say.

“What’s up? What’s fucking up?” Felix yells. “You did not just say that. What’s up. Hyunjin, he wants to know what’s up.”

Hyunjin looks between the two of them, laughs. “You tell us, Sungie,” Hyunjin quips.

He’s staring over Jisung’s shoulder. Jisung follows his stare, body turning, knowing exactly what he’ll find. Yep. Right there. A pair of dark, feline eyes. Laser focused on him. He feels…safe. Not watched. Like he can let loose for the evening and know nothing will happen to him.

It’s more than safe, though. Precious. He’s precious to Minho. Something warm clicks into place. Something he didn’t know he needed to understand until this moment. He reminds himself that sometimes people don’t, can’t, verbalize everything, but that he can look for the actions and be satisfied that he understands what they mean. 

“Ummm. Right, well…” he stumbles over his words, not quite sure what to say, how to explain.

“He was about to fuck you on the dance floor, Sungie. Jesus Christ. And you would have let him, wouldn’t you?” Felix fires back. He seems mad?

“Are you mad at me, Lixie?”

“No, babe, I’m not mad. I’m…” he fumbles for a word, “shocked probably covers it. I’ve never seen you act like that.”

“I-I know, Lix. But he was touching me. Minho had his hands on me! It was…I was…”

He’s not quite sure how to finish that statement.

“You were gone, Ji. Out of your head with hunger. It was all over your face.”

“I was. I really was,” he says with a tiny smile. “But then I said we had to stop. I told him I wasn’t doing anymore of this until we talk about what he did and how he’s come to the determination that I’m his. He said that, he said “mine” and I called bullshit. Because how could I be his when he was with another guy?”

“I’m proud of you Ji. For calling him out. For standing up for yourself and asking for what you need, no matter how much you might want to fuck him.”

“FELIX!” he whines, covering his face with both hands. “Shut up!” Needing to change the subject, “I want another drink. Come with me, please?”

“Come on, Hyunjin. You, too.”

They all head to the bar. They see Minho watching. He gives a shy wave. Staying in his seat like he told himself he would.

Their drinks come. “Lixie, can we talk over there?” Jisung points to the same place Minho had taken him earlier. “I need to talk about…um, yanno,” he eyes Hyunjin and Felix gets the hint.

“Hey Hyunnie, can you give us a few minutes? Little Sungie has something embarrassing to ask me about taking dick,” Felix says as Jisung chokes on his drink.

“That’s…that’s…ok, fine. It’s true.”

Hyunjin walks back to where they’d been before.

“Ok, Sungie, we’re alone. What’s on your mind?”

“I don’t know what to do here, Lixie. I’ve honestly been trying not to think about all this stuff with Minho, 3catdad and streaming. I know you think Min and I are romantically destined or whatever, but there’s a pull I feel with 3catdad. Is it stupid for me to want to investigate that, or maybe even date other guys when Minho is standing here telling me he wants me? I’m really hurt by what Minho did, even if he’s stupid and didn’t realize his feelings for me. He knew what he was doing when he called his friend even after acting the way he did with me the night before. Like, what the fuck? And now he’s here, telling me I’m his? In what world? I don’t know how to reconcile what he did 3 days ago with the message he’s sending me now, yanno? It’s too confusing.”

“Am I just supposed to forgive him because he’s seen the light and I’ve been half in love with him for years?”

“And, ok this is embarrassing, but you’re you and I know you won’t judge me for this.” Felix raises an eyebrow. “In one of the messages from catdad, he told me he was really turned on, and if I asked him he would tell me his more, um, private thoughts about me. Or me in the outfit he sent me.”

He turns his face away, not able to look Felix in the eye. “I also may have sent a pic of me with the smallest plug in.”

He groans, hiding his face behind his hands again.

“It’s just that he’s so supportive of me, and it feels good. You are too, but it’s different, yanno what I mean? You don’t want me like that. I want to know what he thinks about me. I’m being stupid, aren’t I. I should choose what’s in front of me. What I’ve said I’ve wanted for so long. Right?”

He returns to looking at Felix’s face, just not his eyes. He can’t yet.

“The other thing I’m scared of is if I tell Min I don’t want this right away that he’s going to run away from his feelings and my chance with him will be gone.”

“You need to tell him that, Sung. Be brutally honest with him. Maybe he needs to know that you aren’t just sitting pining away for him. You’ve got other options. Yeah, I think you guys are destined and will end up together, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have a choice. The choice is always yours, babe. You have to do what’s right for you, not me, not Min. Maybe see if that barista wants to take you out,” he winks. “He was cute, and seemed really nice. I can’t tell you what to do. This is going to have to come from you. I do think you owe it to Minho to at least listen to what he has to say. And tell him how you’re feeling. Just because you talk doesn’t mean you have to take action on it immediately. But again, you have to decide if that’s what you want to do. Maybe catdad would be a good person to bounce it off of? He’s a fairly uninvolved party, and seems to want what’s best for you, from what you’ve said.”

“No, you’re right, Lix. He only knows me and nothing about the situation with Min. I’ve only mentioned that things were rough, no details. And he did offer to listen. But what do you think of him telling me the other thing he mentioned? Should I let him? I really want to know. He makes me feel good. I really need to talk to my therapist about this shit - depending on strangers from the internet to hype my ego. I sound crazy and desperate.”

“No, babe. You sound like you want to be loved and praised in a certain way, and you’re searching for what you need. It may not be entirely healthy, but it’s what you have. Yes, talk to your therapist, but stop berating yourself about trying to get your needs met.”

“I love you so much, Fifi. Thank you…for…all of it.”

Felix smiles at him, face lighting up. “I love you too, Ji-Ji. I really do. You’re going to be just fine, babe, I know it.”

“Let me know what you decide about catdad. I want all the dirty, dirty details,” he says as they walk back over to Hyunjin.

Jisung just smiles at him.

Chapter 24: 24 - I Will Make the Climb, Learn From the Mistakes I've Made

Summary:

Something unintended happens between them.

Chapter title from Prove, by ONE OK ROCK.

Minho sits. Watches as Jisung dances. He compares himself to each man, wondering why it's not him.

He already knows. He fucked up. Royally.

He has to prove to Jisung that he can trust him.

That this is real, and not a knee jerk reaction.

He's gonna have to talk. About his fucking feelings. He wants to scream. He hates feelings.

He wonders when they'll have their discussion.

What if Jisung doesn't want to talk after tonight? After he's danced with these guys who look like it would be easy to be with them? They can probably talk about their fucking feelings.

 

His mind wanders as he stares at his Bug. He hears Chan's words, telling him that their friend group assumed they were already fucking, if not already together. Romantically. Were they, he wonders? Did neither of them realize because it's always been so smooth, seamless between them?

They hug, touch, tickle all the time. They spend time together. A lot of time. To the exclusion of other people. Sometimes talking, sometimes laying on each other, sometimes together but doing their own thing. But always in proximity.

He thinks he always thought the touches and words were for Jisung. Minho knows Jisung craves, no, needs, more touch than most people. It never occurred to him that maybe the touches in return calmed him, made him feel loved and accepted.

That he became used to this non-verbal conversation between them, never comprehending exactly what they were saying to each other. 

 

Minho is an only child and his parents have never been the touchy type. Neither was he, until Jisung entered his life.

He considers his interactions with his other friends…he isn’t like this with anyone else. Yes, he’ll slap asses now and again, fulfilling his title of Butt Hunter, but it doesn’t mean anything more. He actually doesn’t love being touched in the way that many people do. Yes, he likes sex, and all the touching related to it. But outside of that, it’s never been something he’s sought out. The opposite, really. He’s usually okay with touch from people he knows, but only the occasional hug or hand on the shoulder.

With Jisung it’s different. Longer, tight hugs. A hand on his cheek or at his waist. A brush over his stomach at the grocery store, as if to say “wait here, I’ll be right back.” The fingers carding through his hair when he’s laying with his head in Sungie’s lap while they watch a movie. Him with his whole hand on Sungie’s leg, rubbing up and down while they talk. Not sexual or romantic, not really, but not entirely platonic, he’s realizing now. 

He’s never been one to talk about his feelings, and he’s trying to figure out why. The model of behavior from his parents is probably one reason. They are fairly quiet people, only talking about things like feelings if pushed.

It occurs to him that the why doesn’t really matter. It’s what he does now, the actions and decisions in this moment that are important. Because this, Jisung…this is important.

He needs to figure out what to say. How to tell Sungie what’s inside of him. Some people need the words, and Jisung is one of them. There’s not much he wouldn’t do for him, he’s quickly realizing. 

What he told Jisung about the universe not breaking them apart even if this didn’t work out was the god’s honest truth. Truer than his own heartbeat.

There is no scenario in which it will not be Jisung and Minho. Minho and Jisung.

He feels like he’s taken the very first steps on this new journey, and he really hopes that Jisung will walk it with him. 

 

Jisung is having fun. FUN. He loves to dance. He wishes it were with the man sitting over there, staring at him with the beautiful feline eyes, though. It can’t be. Not tonight. Instead he’s going to bask in the safety he feels because of him. 

The idea that Minho wants him. Wants him. He feels confident in a way he never has before. It’s almost too much. Enough to want to make him walk over to him, take him home and finish what they started on the dance floor earlier.

He wants Minho in a way that slips past every boundary he’s set for them. He needs to stop this train of thought before he wrecks his train and drags Minho to the bathroom to get his mouth around his cock.

“Stop Jisung,” he says to himself, before he gets wound up enough to take action.

“Just fucking stop.”

He needs a distraction. 

[private message] to [3catdad] 11/6/25 11:43pm
Heyyyyy catdadddyyyyy! I’m at a bar with my friends, dancing and drinking. What are you doing? Wanna see what I’m wearing? Apparently I look good. 👏😅 It’s a skirt! And a little top that you can see my nipples through except I wore these petals things over them so nobody would know about my piercings. Shhh…they’re a secret. Nobody in my real life knows about any of them. Except now they do because my belly one is out. But just that one. 

I was a not nice person earlier to my roommate. I feel bad, but he’s fucking confusing. Acting one way then doing something totally opposite then being nice again. Telling me shit. Argh. And he’s here, at the bar. Bam! Just showed up. He danced with me. He’s a dancer! I mean, also other things, too. You have no idea what I’m talking about. Okay, shutting up now. 

You’re such a nice guy. 🤩

-Hannie

1 picture attached

[private message] from [3catdad] 11/7/25 12:03am
Hey baby. Good to hear from you. 😍 I think there’s a stunning boy who’s a little tipsy, writing to his favorite subscriber.. Hmmm? Is that true, Hannie? You a little buzzed? 

I love your outfit. You look beautiful in it. 

I’m sorry your roommate is being confusing. It sounds like there’s a lot to this situation. 

I don’t want to take advantage of you being drunk, so I’m not going to ask any questions tonight. If you want to continue discussing tomorrow, let me know. I’ll be here. 

Good night, Hannie. I hope you have a good rest of your night. Be sure to drink plenty of water when you get home. Okay baby?

-3catdad

 

“Fifi. I’m tired. I wanna go home.” Felix looks at him, drink in hand. “Ok, babe, let’s take your drunk ass over to Min. He’ll take you home.”

He looks around and doesn’t see him. Maybe he’s in the bathroom.

“Come with me, Ji.”

They see him standing in line, looking pissed. A guy they don’t recognize is next to him, his mouth moving. They can’t quite hear him over the music, but he doesn’t seem happy.

Jisung stumbles over to Minho, puts his hand on his shoulder. Min startles, turns his head toward him.

“Hey, Bug,” he says softly.

“Who is that?” Jisung asks, pointing to the other man, eyebrows furrowed.

Minho waves off the question, “Nobody.” The guy’s face falls. “Right, I’m nobody. Fuck you, too, Min.”

“Shit.” Minho runs after him, telling Jisung and Felix to stay where they are.

He catches up to the guy. “Ido, I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting my worlds to collide tonight. I was caught off guard, didn’t know what to say to him.”

“Ah. Is that Jisung? The little brown-haired one?”

Minho nods.

“He’s pretty, Min. Very pretty.”

Instead of punching him for looking at his Sungie, he just nods.

“I gotta go, Id. Again, I’m sorry. I seem to be apologizing to you a lot. It’s just that I’m trying to be with him for real, and this is shit timing, yanno? There’s already too much unsaid between him and I and adding this isn’t going to help.”

Minho is blunt. Ido appreciates the directness.

He nods, starts walking away. “I get it, Min. I’ll leave you to it.”

Minho walks back to where he left Felix and Jisung. He feels exhausted from everything that happened tonight. And horny. So fucking horny. Ido would have been perfect to work off the energy with, but he’s not doing that anymore. The only person he’s fucking (or not fucking, as the case may be) is Jisung. Hopefully forever. But at least until after they’ve talked and decided what their relationship is going to be.

“Who is that?” Jisung asks again.

“Just one of my friends,” Minho says, leaving it vague so he doesn’t reopen a very slowly healing wound for Jisung.

“He’s ready to leave, Min,” Felix tells him. “Can you take him home?”

“Yeah, babe. Can you take me home?”

He looks at Minho with big, round eyes. Lips doing that cute little pout thing. How can he resist this face? Fuck. He’s screwed. He can’t.

“Let me pee real quick and then we’ll go.” Jisung nods.

“We’re gonna go sit and wait.”

When he’s done in the bathroom, fly zipped and hands washed, he goes to find them. Jisung’s head is on the table, cushioned by his arms, staring off into space. Minho is whipped for this boy. He finds the whole view endearing as hell. He walks over and rubs Jisung’s back.

“Hey Sungie. You ready to go? Can you walk?”

“Ummm…walk to home?”

Min nods.

“Nooooo,” that whine coming out again.

“Can you carry me on your back?”

“Yep. Come on.”

They get situated, with Felix making sure everything’s covered by Jisung’s skirt, and Minho carries him home. Jisung is wrapped around him like a koala on a tree, hands around his neck, legs around his waist. Minho has one hand under his ass, the other free. He switches off as his arms get tired.

Jisung has his head tipped on Minho’s shoulder, breath hitting his neck. He’s trying not to get turned on, doing math in his head, thinking about baseball stats, his grandma, his cats…

”Min?”

“Yeah, Sungie?”

“Are you mad at me?”

“What? No, why would I be mad at you, baby?”

“I dunno. I feel shy now. Never mind.” He turns his head so he’s facing away from Minho’s neck.

“You can tell me anything. You know that, Bug. Do you wanna tell me?”

“Nngghhhh,” he moans quietly. “I’m horny.” Jisung’s whole front is rubbing up against Minho’s back with every step.

“Yeah, me too.”

“Are you mad because we didn’t…you know.”

“No, I’m not mad. Not at you, anyway. I’m mad at me. Disappointed in myself for hurting you and making you feel this way. For not understanding what’s been right in front of me this whole time.”

“But Sungie?”

“Mmmm?”

“I don’t think now is the time to talk about this. You’re drunk and I think we’re both really tired. Can we talk tomorrow or another day?”

“You want to? Really?”

Minho chuckles quietly.

“No, not really. I’m not good at talking. Especially about my feelings. But for you, Sungie? I’ll do anything.”

Jisung smiles.

“Thank you, hyung.” 

 

They finally get home. Minho is tired and sweaty from carrying Jisung all the way home. They get inside and he takes Jisung to his bedroom and puts him on his bed.

“Hyung, help me, please.” He lifts his hands up for Min to take his sweater off.

“Tshirt please?”

Min turns around to his drawers and pulls out a big shirt for Sungie to sleep in. He puts his finger on one of the petals covering Jisung’s piercings. “What about these?” Jisung gasps and puts his hands across his chest, “Are you trying to feel me up, hyung?” He giggles. He puts the shirt over his head and gets his arms through the sleeves, having successfully diverted Minho’s attention.

“Min, can you take my skirt off and my shoes and socks? I can’t do it. Too…too…meh, whatever.”

Instead of putting Jisung down at the door to take his shoes off, he figured it’d be easier to do it sitting down. He does what Jisung asked, making sure to pull the giant t-shirt down over his boxer briefs without looking.

He moves Jisung up the mattress and pulls the covers over him.

“I’m gonna go take a shower, Sung.”

“Ok, Min. Thanks for letting me sleep in here with you.”

“Of course.” There’s no sexual intent in him putting Jisung in his bed. He wants to make sure he’s safe - if he throws up he wants to be there to help him. If he needs something, Minho wants to get it for him. He doesn’t like the idea of drunk Jisung trying to do things for himself and getting hurt. He finds sleep clothes for himself then takes his shower. If he takes care of himself while he’s in there…well, he’s just a man, isn't he? After his shower he leaves a small light on in the bathroom and one in the bedroom, gets in bed, pulls Sungie close and falls asleep. 

 

“What time is it?” Minho wakes up, sees that it’s not even dawn outside. They haven’t been asleep long.

“Wha…oh…fuck…” There’s a hard length at his hip, Jisung’s own thrusting forward, pace slow, maddening.

Minho turns his head slowly, trying to see if Sungie is awake. He can’t be. He’s not. He should wake him up, though.

Minho is getting turned on. He can’t help it. It happens.

He wants to touch him so badly. Kiss him awake, take his cock in his hand, jerk him off til he’s whining, then take him in his mouth and finish him like that. Instead he gently shakes him, saying his name softly until he hears the quiet, startled gasp that tells him he’s just woken up.

Minho is still looking at him, sees the confusion on his sweet face.

“Hey,” he says in a whisper.

Jisung looks up at him, “Hi.”

Sleepy Jisung might just be his favorite Jisung.

He’s laying on his side, facing Minho, with Minho’s arm under him. Min uses that to pull him closer to him.

“Do you want to finish what you’re doing, baby?” He nods down at Jisung’s body, question in his eyes. Jisung looks down, scrunches his face. “How?”

Sleep clouds his brain, arousal not helping him think clearly, body still not having cleared all the alcohol from the night before.

He knows there’s a reason he shouldn’t, but damn if he can remember it.

Lightning travels down Minho’s spine at the question, cock twitching at the thought of seeing Jisung cum.

“Mmmm…ride my thigh? Or keep doing what you’re doing if it’s enough to get you off.”

“Really? What are you gonna do?”

“What do you want, Bug?”

“I want you to cum, Minho,” he says seriously, in his voice pitched low. “I want to watch you touch yourself.”

“Fuck. Baby. Where is this coming from? You’re gonna kill me.”

Jisung cants his hips slightly, resuming the friction between him and Minho.

“Min…please. Let me watch,” eyes big, pupils blown, staring down where he can see the outline of Minho’s dick, hard and pulsing beneath his sleep shorts.

Minho groans. “Shorts on or off? Shirt?”

“You’d get naked for me if I want it?”

Minho nods, lower lip caught with his upper teeth. “I’d do anything for you, Sungie. How do you want me?”

“Naked. I want to see you naked, please.”

Minho could cum from just those words.

“Since you asked so nicely.” He shimmies out of his clothes, lying bare on top of the bed. Jisung’s eyes, hot on his body, flicking over him, unable to settle on any one thing.

He wants to touch…god he wants to touch. But somewhere deep in his addled brain he knows he’s not supposed to. Not now. Not yet.

Minho is…beautiful is too small a word. Doesn’t even come close to describing him. It’s in the way he carries himself: confident and graceful. The way he loves quietly, the kind of love that speaks in silence instead of sound. In action instead of words. The smoothness of his skin, but not, because it’s been lived in. It’s in the home that he is to Jisung, in the steadiness that is him, in every small gesture that says he’s not going anywhere. 

But here, here in the space between light and dark, he’s everything that Jisung can’t have. Can’t touch. But wants. Desperately. 

“Sungie, come back over here?” He stretches his arm toward him, laying it on the bed. Jisung moves on top of it, back to where he was, against Minho. Feels it wrap around him, pulling him close.

“What now, baby?” Jisung is spinning. Tilting. Held together by nothing but Minho.

“Show me what you do when you’re alone, Min. Tell me what you think about.”

Oh. God. Fuck. Yes.

“Are you sure you want to know,” he asks, voice an octave lower, barely a whisper.

Jisung moves his hips, rocking, “Yes. Tell me, please.”

“You’re so polite, Sungie. I like when you’re respectful. That’s good…” He hears Jisung’s breath hitch at the praise.

“Mmmm, you like that, baby? When I praise you?”

He lets out a low whimper, barely loud enough for Min to hear.

“What do I think about…you, mostly. How I want to make you fall apart under me.”

“How?” Hips moving faster, angle changing.

Minho’s fingers trail down his own neck, down to his nipple, slowly…slowly. Circling it. Thumb rubbing over the nub. A small groan. He pinches it and his back arches off the bed. He can feel Jisung’s breath at his shoulder, fanning over it, onto his neck. Feels his hardness rubbing against the side of him.

“Are you watching, Sungie? Be a good boy for me and watch.”

Another whimper, bordering on a moan.

“I’m watching. I’m good. I’m a good boy for you, Minho.”

Another pinch, another arch.

“I think about you, baby. Kissing you. Our tongues sliding against each other. Slick. Biting your lip.”

Now the other nipple, same, same.

“I think about marking you with my mouth, on your neck, where people can see it so they know you’re mine. Sliding down your body with my tongue, licking and biting.”

Hand moving down his stomach, pinching at the skin over his abs.

Between Jisung using him to get himself off and his own touch, Minho is almost overwhelmed with the input.

He gasps at the pinch.

Further down still, his fingers find the inside of his thigh, coming back up to scratch over his balls. Hard enough to make it uncomfortable, not enough to hurt.

He moans. “Sungie.” Breath coming faster.

Jisung’s motions having stilled, completely taken with watching Minho’s hand.

“Baby. Reach your hand up under the pillow, there’s a bottle of lube. Squirt a little in my hand.”

Cold lube in his hand, he curls his hand around his cock, the temperature difference making his breath catch. “I wish this were you. Your hand.”

Jisung whines, “I want that, hyung. Please.”

He feels Jisung fucking his side again.

“Tell me more, Min. ‘wanna hear your voice.”

“I want to be on my knees in front of you. Mouth on your cock, hands spreading your ass apart so I can feel your hole. I know you’ll be so pretty there.”

“Yes, Min, p-please,” word drawn out, said on a whine.

“I can’t stop thinking about your ass. How perfect it is.”

“Miiiinnnnn…ohhhh, please.” Moving faster.

“What are you asking for, pretty?”

“Nnngghhh…I don wan’ cum yet…nghhh…pl..ease, no,” voice high, lost.

“You don’t have to yet. Don’t cum, Sungie. Wait. You’re so good at listening to me.”

“Hyung,” another of those sounds.

Minho’s hand, too fast, he’s going to cum if he doesn’t slow this down. He takes his hand off his cock, back up to his pecs, the lube feels good, slicking around his skin.

“I want to suck you off. Make you squirm, whimper and whine like you are now. I want you on the bed, ass up, face down. Eat you out til you don’t know your own name.”

His hand back on his cock, hips moving in time.

“Then I’ll open you up on my fingers.”

“MIN…fuck…wan’ that. S’bad.”

“How many fingers can you take, baby?”

“Mmm…one.”

Minho’s brain whites out for a moment, hand stopping all motion.

“One?”

“Mmmm…got one in t’other day. Felt good. Came hard…you.”

“Sungie,” he whispers, “I’d…” he gulps, I’d be your first?”

“Y’know tha’ hyung.”

Minho needs to fuck something, now. He makes a fist.

“Sungie, eyes on me, baby.” He ruts up into his hand, moaning.

“I want to fuck you, Jisung. Hard. Fast. Now.”

He looks over at Jisung who’s looking right back at him. Eyes on eyes. Jisung’s hips stop.

“Min, wanna ride you. Can I?” Minho thinks he might die.

“Shit, yes, Sungie.” He pats his thigh. “You want to ride my thigh and watch me cum thinking about all the dirty shit I want to do to you?”

“Nghhh, please, hyung. Wanna watch.”

Jisung climbs up on Minho’s thigh, straddling it, leaving his other hand free.

“Sungie,” he gasps, free hand on his nipple, thumb rubbing roughly over it, still fucking his fist.

“Sungie,” he tries again, “you feel so fucking good. I’m so close.”

He’s watching Jisung move against his thigh, so close to him that he keeps grazing his balls with his leg.

“Hyung…gonna cum soon.”

“Cum for me Jisung. Be a good boy and cum.”

Soon all he knows is the pretty sounds Jisung is making. The feel of him sliding against his thigh. His own hand on his cock. Then he’s coming on a scream. “Fuucckkkk…Jisung! Yes, fuck!”

He knows nothing until he hears Sungie, “Min. Min. Minho. Fuck. Please.”

“I see you, baby. You’re so pretty when you’re riding me.”

“Oh. OH GOD. MINHO. Nnnngghhhhh…ahhhh.” He can’t stop. The orgasm keeps rolling through him. More. Again. Too much. Finally. Over.

He feels strong arms wrapped around him, helping him lay on the bed.

He tries to keep his eyes open, wants to see Minho’s face, feel him all around him. He feels the bed move, cool air where Minho was. He starts sobbing.

“Baby, baby, it’s ok. I’m right here. I want to clean you up, ok? Is that ok?” Minho picks him up and puts him in his lap, arms coming to his shoulders.

“Hey, you’re safe. We’re good.”

“M’sorry, Min,” he sniffles.

“Sleep, please?”

“Yes, Sungie. I’m going to get us cleaned up and you some clean underwear, then we’ll sleep. I’m going to put you on the bed and I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.”

Once everything is done, Minho gets them both tucked back into bed, snuggled close.

He’s not sure how he feels.

Overwhelmed? Happy? Peaceful?

He figures he can leave it for tomorrow Minho.

Chapter 25: 25 - These Moments Remind Us Why We're Here, We're So Alive

Summary:

Min and Sungie have a little fun...

Chapter title from Wasted Nights by ONE OK ROCK.

Minho wakes up first. The previous night floods back in a rush. All of it. He remembers what they did together, right here in this bed. The bottle of lube sitting out, a stark reminder. 

Seeing Jisung come undone is now a core memory for him. He was radiant. Beautiful. Perfect. The fact that he was fully clothed while Minho was bare…the irony isn’t lost on him.

Sharing that with Jisung…Minho feels different, altered in ways he has no names for. He wants the words, though. For once in his life he wants to share what’s inside of him. 

Jisung shifts, rolls over. Minho watches him. They’ve slept in the same bed plenty of times, but this morning, this, waking up together, it’s different. He feels the weight of it, wishing he could trust himself not to fuck it up. All he can do is his best, and trust in the strength of their relationship, their friendship, that Sungie will give him room to figure it out. He needs to remember that before they were…whatever this is…they were friends, and the foundation they have will bear all of this. It can’t be anything other than Jisung and Minho. Minho and Jisung. 

Jisung scrunches up his nose, that soft little pout appearing on his lips. Minho wants to kiss it off of him. He doesn’t. But fuck, he’s adorable like this. Instead he whispers, “Good morning, baby,” smile on his face that he can’t help.

“Mornin’ Min,” Jisung whispers back.

He drags the covers over his head, stretching his whole body, head popping back out when he’s done.

“Sungie? Can I hold you?” He feels something, but he doesn’t know what. Jisung nods and scoots toward him. The closer he gets, the more Minho feels. It’s like his chest is full and he can’t breathe, even though he can. He feels the tears prick at his eyes, “Min? What’s wrong?” He just shakes his head. He doesn’t know.

Jisung puts his arms around him, worried. The tears fall, wetting his cheeks, falling down his face. This isn’t like Minho, at all. He can probably count on his fingers the number of times he’s seen him cry in the entire time he’s known him.

“Can you try to tell me what’s going on in your head?” Minho shakes his head again. He truly doesn’t know. Doesn’t have the words for all the emotions that are pinging through him.

“That’s ok, Kitty,” pulling out an old, old nickname he used to call him. He hasn’t used it in forever, but he likes the way it feels to call him that again.

“Come over here.” He rolls to his back, bringing Minho with him, putting his head on his chest so he can comb his fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp lightly. He knows Min finds it relaxing. The tears are still coming, but Jisung is content to sit here with him for as long as it takes. He’s well familiar with feeling too much, which is what he thinks is going on.

“Can I give you some words and you can tell me if they fit how you’re feeling?” Minho nods. Jisung has been dealing with his emotions for a long time, with the emotional overwhelm that can accompany anxiety and ADHD, and has become very good at identifying his emotions.

“Do you think you’re feeling scared?” Minho hums. Ok, that’s one down.

“How about overwhelmed? A lot has happened these past few days.”

“Yeah. I think I feel that too.”

“Ok. I’m going to try one or two more, then stop. We don’t have to figure all of them out, if there are more than that, ok?” He nods again.

“Do you maybe feel a little insecure?”

“Yes. Because I don’t know how to do this…sharing feelings and shit with you. I don’t want to do it wrong.”

“I get that. Feelings can be scary, especially when you aren’t used to dealing with them head-on.”

“Can you think of any other ways to describe how you’re feeling?”

“My chest feels full, like there’s so much shit in there it’s going to explode. And I don’t know what to do with that. And I’m feeling things, a lot of things, but I…fuck. I’m so bad at this.”

He turns his head away from Jisung, upset with himself that this is happening. He feels weak. Feels the need to deflect.

“I like you calling me Kitty, Sungie,” voice deeper now, cheeks still wet with tears, though. Jisung chuckles. “Yeah, I like it too, Min.”

He understands the need to step away from the emotion for a bit. It’s because he understands that he’s able to allow for the pivot, hold space for him.

“I’m going to buy some cat ears and a tail. What do you think?”

Minho swallows audibly, Jisung’s words landing exactly the way he meant for him to take them.

“Jisung,” he says in warning, “you can’t say shit like that.”

“Can’t I?” Jisung smirks. He actually fucking smirks. At Minho. Then “Oh, shit.”

He looks at him, Minho’s eyes are narrowed, pupils dilated, brows screwed down tight. Jisung can see the thoughts, plain as day, written across his face.

He pushes Minho’s head off his chest, shifts to the edge of the bed. He looks back over his shoulder, smile wide, waiting. Minho sits up. Jisung shoots off the bed, running as fast as he can out of the room, giggles left in a trail behind him. He hears Minho, “HEY!”, then footsteps thundering in pursuit.

Jisung is small, fast. He goes into the kitchen, hiding behind the center island. Minho runs past him, into the living room, giving a quick look around, then down the hall. Jisung peeks out from the island, then high tails it into the living room, to the far side of the couch. He squats, butt almost to the floor so he’s hidden by the couch arm. Minho comes skidding back out into the living room, but doesn’t see Jisung. Jisung can see Minho, though, just enough. He’s trying not to laugh, but he’s having too much fun. He lets out one tiny sound and Minho is on him like a cat.

“Gotcha!”

He’s so strong, thick with muscle. His hands wrap around Jisung’s waist, pulling him from his crouch. He throws him onto the couch and lays on top of him, keeping him there. Jisung is squirming, wiggling, bucking for all he’s worth, trying to dislodge Minho so he can start the chase all over again. It’s not working. They’re both grinning, then Minho gets his hands under Jisung’s shirt and tickles him. Jisung barks out a laugh…he’s so ticklish, and Minho knows it. Uses it against him! He twists up, body rubbing up against Minho’s.

The atmosphere changes almost instantaneously. Jisung remembers he’s in boxers and Min’s t-shirt; Minho’s in a t-shirt and very thin sleep shorts.

Minho looks down at him, mouth still curved in a smile, but his eyes…smolder. He feels himself reacting, unable to stem the flood of desire.

They’re still moving, but differently. The air has become sultry, heavy.

“Sungie?” His gaze cuts to his mouth, question evident.

This is the wrong thing to do, Jisung knows it, but fucking hell, he can’t bring himself to stop. A body in motion, and all that shit.

He surges up to meet Minho’s mouth, hand coming to the back of his head to pull them together, lips meeting in a bruising kiss.

He remembers what it was like to kiss Minho at the bar last night.

Remembers how he looked, naked in the low light of the bedroom, hands moving in the most intimate motions.

What he sounded like when he came, Jisung’s name falling from his lips.

He remembers.

He knows.

And he fucking wants more.

Chapter 26: 26 - Do You Sing, Do You Sing When You Look Within?

Summary:

Chapter title from +Matter by ONE OK ROCK.

Minho lifts his head, effectively pausing the kiss.

Just for a moment.

Just to look at him.

He’s breathtaking like this. Laid out under him, eyes closed, cheeks flushed, lips shiny with their spit.

“Sungie. You’re gorgeous. So beautiful. I…don’t know how to say it. I need to tell you but I don’t know how.” He rests his forehead against Jisung’s.

“You’re doing fine, Min,” a soft smile adorning his face.

Minho nods against him. Brings his lips back to Jisung’s.

He could stay like this forever. In this bubble where no one, nobody, can stop them.

They’re kissing again, messy, wet. Hands all over each other, as if stopping, not touching, was ever an option.

“Min?” He pulls at the hem of Minho’s shirt. “Can you take this off? Is it okay if I touch you?” As if the answer could be anything but yes, Minho looks at him, confused why he would even think he has to ask.

Fuck.

Actions, meet consequences.

In the shadows of the early hours the marks on his body wouldn’t have shown, Jisung wouldn’t have been able to see them. He never touched him, so he didn’t feel the fingernail tracks down his upper body. But now? God damn him. He knew he’d fuck it up somehow.

“Jisungie. Baby. I want your hands on me more than I can tell you. But…” he looks away, cheeks heating, “I’m an idiot, remember? I still have…” he trails off.

Jisung supplies, “The marks. From your, um, friend.”

Minho nods, absolutely crestfallen. This is hard. For both of them.

“Thank you, Min, for telling me. I-I appreciate that. Can I kiss you again, though? Just a little more?” He nods down at him, thankful that Sungie is handling this so well. “I don’t think I’m ready for this to be over yet. I really like kissing you.” Minho lets his body tell Jisung how much he likes kissing him, too.

After another few minutes they stop. Even though they know they have to talk, they still smile at each other. This, whatever it is, is new. Soft. Exciting.

They separate and sit up on the couch. Still touching, just not intimately now. Jisung turns to him, one leg bent on the couch, the other on the floor. His head is down, hand scratching the back of his neck, shy. He looks up at Minho through his lashes. “Do you want to talk now?”

“If I say no?” Minho traces Jisung’s face with his eyes, notes no change in his expression at the question.

“It’s ok if you aren’t ready, Min. I just…it’s gotta be soon. We can’t keep falling back into the physical stuff. I want you. So bad. You know that, right,” he questions.

Minho nods.

“I need to know where you are. Having to keep thinking about it makes me anxious. And I have things in my life that I’ve kinda put on hold, and I don’t want to keep them there.”

“What kind of things, Sungie?”

Jisung shakes his head. “I’m not ready to talk about that stuff with you. Or anyone, really. I’m sorry, Min.”

He nods again, face blank, not wanting to let on exactly how much not knowing bothers him. He guesses he really has no right to that info. Yet. But, he’s…jealous? It brings him back to how he felt the night he heard him in his room, when he thought maybe Jisung was doing things with someone else.

He needs to stop thinking about that.

“You hungry, Sungie?”

He nods. “What do you want?”

“Can we have pancakes, bacon and eggs?” He smiles at him sweetly.

“I’ll come over and sit while you cook. Or I can help.”

This is the stuff they’re used to - eating together, talking about everything and nothing. It’s easy. Always has been.

“Alright, come here.” Minho picks up a laughing Jisung, princess style, and carries him into the kitchen, deposits him on the counter so he can “help.” Jisung is shit in the kitchen. Can barely boil water without scorching the pot. For as smart as this boy is, he’s a pabo (an idiot) in the kitchen.

Minho gets out the eggs, bacon and all the ingredients for pancakes from scratch. He starts getting the pancakes ready, looking over at Sungie every so often, who is sitting on the counter across from where he’s working, quietly singing a song. Sometimes humming instead of singing, but the melody is the same. It’s beautiful, and not something he’s heard before.

Jisung is always singing or rapping or humming. Always making some sort of noise. Minho thinks it might be an ADHD thing, something that Sungie isn’t always aware that he’s doing. He’s read that people with ADHD can use vocalizations to help them focus, let out energy or emotions, and that sometimes it can be a vocal tic. Either way, he doesn’t mind it. Jisung has a lovely voice and he finds it soothing to listen to him.

“Sungie, do you want to mix the pancake batter for me?”

“Sure, hyung. Bring it to me?”

He’s swinging his legs while he sings, looking cute and kissable. Minho feels the now familiar frustration with himself, at not being ready to talk, thus not being able to do the physical stuff. He’s going to figure it out, though. He’s already decided to talk to Chan again. See if he can help him figure out what to say. He’s motivated.

He takes the bowl over to Jisung. Sits it on the counter beside him. Steps between his legs and gives him a hug, resting his head on Sungie’s shoulder. He still feels a little out of sorts, and has decided that hugging his Bug helps that feeling dissipate a bit. And Sungie certainly likes it. They stay like that for a few minutes, neither wanting to stop touching the other.

“Being close with you like this is nice, Min. It feels different.”

Minho hums his agreement, unsure of what else to say. He steps back, cheeky grin on his face, and ruffles Sungie’s hair.

“Let’s finish making food. I’m hungry.”

 

“Ughhhh…I’m stuffed.”

“Me too.”

“That was really good, hyung. Thanks for making it.”

Minho nods, “Of course. You know how much I like cooking for you. Gotta make sure you eat enough to keep that ass perfect.”

His eyes go wide. He looks at Jisung. “I…uh…”

Jisung gives him a sly smile. “You like my ass, huh, hyung?”

“Fuck off, Jisung,” he laughs.

Jisung gets up, walks over, right in front of Minho.

Turns so his ass faces him.

Bends forward. Arches his back. Twerks.

“How’s this? Close enough? You seeing this fine ass?” He frames his ass with his hands, looking over his shoulder to see Min’s reaction.

Which is that his eyes are fucking glued to his ass, watching it bounce. He couldn’t look away if his chair were on fire.

“Sungie,” he whines. “So mean.”

“Hmmm…aren’t I? I guess you’ll have to punish me for it.”

“Han Jisung. Stop saying shit like that! You don’t know what you’re doing to me.”

Or maybe he does. Maybe it’s just a teeny little bit of payback. He looks at Jisung, whose eyes are sparkling, completely aware of what a little shit he’s being, and enjoying every teasing minute of it.

“Fuck, I hope I get to punish you, Sungie,” his voice deep, rough. “You have no idea the things I want to do to you. And you keep adding fuel to the fire.”

His eyes are dark with want when he says this.

Jisung returns his stare. Eyes just as dark. Just as desirous.

He feels the pull. To touch. To devour.

He can’t. So he backs away. Still staring.

 

Jisung gets to his room and throws himself face down on his bed. He’s tired but restless. He needs to talk..

To: SUNSHINE TWINK (FELIX) 11/7/25 10:57am

Hey Felix. You free for coffee today? There have been…developments.

To: LITTLEBABY_BUG (JISUNG) 11/7/25 11:13am

Yep. Meet me at the cafe at 1pm. 🧐

Jisung decides to use the time to clean up his room and catch up on messages.

He finds the stuff that 3catdad sent him sitting in the closet and puts it away in his small suitcase.

He wonders what Minho would think of the outfit. And the plugs. It feels like so much time has passed between when he received the package and now, but it’s only been less than a day.

In less than a day, he and Minho have danced, kissed, cum, played.

He’s been letting himself just do. Usually he overthinks everything until he thinks himself in circles. But this thing with Minho…it seems to have a life of its own. The physical part, anyway. He is having serious trouble keeping his hands to himself, and Minho seems to be in the same boat.

It’s typical of Minho, though. Once he makes up his mind about something, that’s it. He’s in it. Committed. So what is Jisung afraid of? What’s bothering him? That’s what he wants to talk more about with Felix.

He thinks it has something to do with how fast this is moving, and why Minho slept with his friend, then suddenly decided Jisung was it for him. He’s having trouble getting through it. He doesn’t understand how something this important could be decided so quickly. Again, though, that’s how Minho is. If he’s having a problem, he’ll consider the options and find a way through it. Decision made. No discussion required.

That doesn’t mean the way Jisung goes about things is wrong. Just different. He decides to get another opinion.

[private message] from HanG 11/7/25 11:27am
Hi. How are you? I’m sorry for my crazy messages last night. I was definitely drunk. Thank you for being so caring.

Is the offer to talk still on the table? About my roommate situation, I mean?

I’m going out with my friend Lix in an hour, just to talk at a cafe near me, but I’ll be back before dinner. If you’re okay talking, maybe we can do it then?

Also, would it be weird to get to know each other more? I dunno, you’re just so nice and I really like interacting with you. It’s ok if you’re not comfortable with that. Just let me know.

Anyway, I gotta get ready.

-Hannie

 

Jisung still has time to kill, so he gets online…he has an idea. He finds exactly what he’s looking for, thrilled that it comes in different sizes. He may be getting ahead of himself, but he can’t help it. If everything works out, this “outfit” will be perfect. He has it overnighted.

He looks at the clock and sees that it’s time to leave to meet Felix. He quickly gets dressed and walks through the apartment, looking for Minho to tell him he’s leaving. He finds him sitting on the couch, phone in his hand, concentrating on whatever he’s doing.

“Hey, Min. I’m going to meet Felix for coffee. I’ll be back later.”

Minho stops typing and locks his phone.

“Ok, Sung-ah,” a lazy smile on his face. “I’ll probably be around when you get back. Have fun. Tell Felix I say hi.”

“Ok, hyung. I’ll see you later.”

Chapter 27: 27 - One Step At A Time, No Matter How Long It Takes

Summary:

Sungie decides to talk to 3catdad, Minho will figure out how to talk to Sungie.

Chapter title from Prove, by ONE OK ROCK.

[private message] from [3catdad] 11/7/25 12:47pm

Hi Hannie.

Did you have fun with your friends last night?

Yep, I’m still down to talk about the situation with your roommate.

I can be here around 7pm. Does that work for you?

I’d love to get to know you better. Is there anything you don’t want to talk about or share?

Looking forward to chatting with you later. 🙂

-3catdad

Jisung arrives at the cafe before Felix. He goes inside and orders his usual - Iced Americano and a slice of cheesecake. Just as he finishes ordering, Felix shows up. He places his order and joins Jisung at a table.

"Hi Jisungie. How are you?"

"I'm ok, Lixie. How about you? You doing well? Did you and Hyunjin stay long at the bar last night after Min and I left?"

"I'm doing well. We stayed for another couple hours after you left. Just about shut the place down. We had a great time. I almost went home with someone, but Hyunjin said he had a bad feeling about the guy, so he and I left together."

Jisung nods in understanding.

"I'm glad you listened to Jinnie, Lix. His feelings are usually spot on, yanno?"

"Yeah, that's why I stayed with him."

They both take a moment to enjoy their food and drinks.

"So what did you want to talk about, Sungie? You said there were, uh, developments with you and Minho."

"Yep. So after he carried me home...and fuck, that was hard because I was rubbing against his back the whole time, getting turned on from it…"

Felix laughs. "I can imagine. You were probably horny anyway after the performance you two gave on the dance floor, and with no resolution."

"...he helped me change out of my clothes. He gave me one of his big t-shirts to wear and I was wearing my short black boxer briefs. He didn't even look at my body, except for to try to take my petals off, and I didn't let him. I'm not ready for him to know about my other piercings yet."

"That's understandable." Felix agrees.

"He took a shower and then we went to sleep. He was in a t-shirt and sleep shorts. Anyway, sometime during the night, no more than a couple hours after we went to bed is what it seemed like, I guess I was humping his hip in my sleep, which woke him up. Then he woke me up and asked me if I wanted to finish what I'd started. I was sleepy, horny, not thinking right, and still a little drunk. I asked him how instead of saying no. Lixie...it was so fucking hot. Oh my god."

Felix leans forward, waiting for Jisung to continue, totally invested in this story arc.

"I asked him how I could finish, and he said either by riding his thigh or continuing to rub against him like I was in my sleep. Then I asked him what he was going to do and he asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted him to cum, and that I wanted to watch him. Felix, the look on his face when I said that. It was like he had just won the lottery or something. Then, and this is the super hot part, he asked me if I wanted him to leave his shorts on or take them off, and the same for his shirt. I asked him if he'd get naked if I asked him to, and he said he'd do anything for me. So I told him I wanted him to be naked. He got naked and didn't cover up with the sheet or anything. I told him I wanted to know what he thinks about when he touches himself, and he told me. He thinks about me. FELIX, he thinks about ME. What the fuck. He was doing all this stuff to himself, telling me what he wants to do to me...it was almost too much for a human to bear. I have never witnessed anything like that in my entire life.”

"Wow, Sungie, that's...how do you feel about it all? I know you were not wanting to do anything physical with him after the thing in the bar, but..."

"Yeah, he's really hard to resist. And like I said, middle of the night, alcohol, etc. I'm definitely not upset that it happened, but we need to find a way to pump the brakes on this a little. We are both having trouble keeping our hands off each other. Oh! I found out he likes being close and touching me, not always sexually. Meaning that when we touch, he understands that he gets something out of it too, not just me.”

Jisung sits at the table, grin on his face. Then he frowns.

"Something kind of weird did happen, though, and it showed me that he really doesn't know how to deal with his feelings and that he's never really been given the words to discuss his emotions. You know me, I'm full of emotions and I've worked really hard with my therapist to figure them out."

Felix hums to show he’s listening. Jisung continues,

“This was right when we had woken up for the morning. He asked if he could hold me, and when I got closer to him he started crying. I did what my therapist does with me when I’m feeling a lot, and offered words to him to see if any of them fit. We figured out that he was scared, insecure - because he doesn’t know how to talk about this stuff and is worried he’ll screw it up, and overwhelmed. There’s been a lot of stuff going on, so he probably is. He said his chest feels full of stuff and he isn’t sure how to let it out or talk about.”

“I tried to lighten the mood by calling him Kitty. Do you remember when I used to call him Kitty, a long time ago?

Felix smiles, nods. “Yeah, that was cute. I don’t remember when or why you stopped.”

“I’m not sure either. But he did tell me that he likes it when I call him that, and his voice was deeper when he said it, so I think he was thinking about something else…then I told him I was going to buy kitty ears and a tail, to which he told me I cannot say stuff like that. And then, um, I smirked at him then ran out of the room. He chased me, caught me and threw me on the couch. He laid on top of me, trying to keep me pinned and I was squirming and wiggling all over the place. But then he tickled me and I rubbed up against him…we were still in our sleep clothes, so, uh, yeah, we started kissing again. I asked if I could take his shirt off. Jesus, I'm so weak for this man.”

He laughs.

“It looked like he really wanted me to take it off, but then he remembered the marks from his “friend.” He told me why he was saying no, looked upset about it, but I told him I still wanted to kiss him more. He was okay with that. Eventually we stopped and I asked if he wanted to talk. He asked me “what if I say no?” I told him that was fine for now, but that I have put things on hold for him and I wanted to get back to them soon. He asked me what those things were and I told him I wasn’t ready to talk about them with him or with anyone. He did not look happy. Almost jealous, before he schooled his face. Then he changed the subject and we made breakfast. Then I texted you.”

“What am I doing, Lixie? I’m trying to remember why I keep stopping us, but it’s getting harder and harder."

"Do I have a real issue? It’s only been two days since he was with his friend, not even two, actually. It’s like Min has decided the past no longer exists and I’m his. I’m not sure what to do. What do you think?”

“I think for you, you need to stop the physical until you get to the feelings part with him. I know how Minho is, and he’s clearly decided where his heart is, but you are still trying to deal with the betrayal of him sleeping with someone else and how that made you feel. It’s ok to take a break from him for a day or two, or longer if you need, until you figure your own shit out.”

Jisung gives this some thought.

“I know you’re right, Lix, it’s just sooo hard to stop myself. It feels so natural.”

“I asked 3catdad if he’d still be willing to talk to me about my roommate situation and also if he’d be interested in getting to know each other better. I haven’t looked to see if he responded yet.”

Jisung looks at his phone to see that his message has, in fact, been answered.

“Oh, he responded.”

Felix looks at him, puzzled expression briefly on his face before it returns to normal.

“What did he say?”

“He says he’ll be available around 7pm and that he’s happy to talk to me about it, and also get to know each other better. I’m not sure how to do it. Should we text or do faceless call? How would you do it?”

“Wait, what was that look?”

Felix thinks for a moment, trying to decide how to verbalize what’s on his mind.

“What look, Ji? I think maybe start messaging through your cam app, then if you want more, you can do the video call. Do you just want to talk to him about this or are you trying to see what he looks like/how he sounds?”

Jisung hasn’t really thought about it.

“I’m not sure. I think I just want his opinion on the situation, and I do want to get to know him better. Chatting through the app for now is probably the best option.”

“How long do you think I should give Minho to talk? I need to stream in the next day or so, and I feel weird for keeping this from him. And my piercings, too. I don’t think he could feel the ones down below last night. And even if he did, he probably just thought it was my clothes bunching. He was so far gone, though, it’s doubtful anything registered.”

“When did you get those, Ji? I don’t think I knew about them and I haven’t seen them on stream.”

“Oh…well, I got them a little after I got the other ones, just didn’t tell anyone. It was way before I started streaming. I took them out for a while, before I started streaming, and haven’t worn them again until the other day,” cheeks a little redder than usual.

“I’m surprised the holes didn’t close.”

“Are you wearing them now?”

“Why?” Jisung laughs.

“I dunno. I didn’t know about them. They sound hot. I kinda want to see them.”

Again, none of this is off-putting or weird to Felix. He’s into some…interesting stuff sexually. He’s a good person to talk to about most stuff, but especially sex.

“Yes, Lixie, I’m wearing them. They make me feel good, like I’m hiding something nobody knows about. Do you want to see them?”

“Yes, I want to see them. But I can wait until you stream again.”

“Anyway, I guess I’ll give Min a few more days to think about what he wants to say to me, explain why he did what he did.”

“I’m really loving the way you’re starting to put yourself and your needs first. I know it’s easy cater to others, but I’m proud of what you’re doing for you.”

“Thanks, Lix. It’s not easy, but I am starting to realize that my happiness and comfort are important.”

[private message] from HanG 11/7/25 2:39pm

Hi.

7pm sounds great.

I was thinking we could try using the messaging app?

I can’t think of anything off limits right now, but if we hit on something, I’ll let you know. Thank you for asking, though.

I’ll see you then. Looking forward to it!

-Hannie

He finishes his response to 3catdad, then returns his attention to Felix.

“What?”

“Nothing. Just wondering if this thing with 3catdad is a good idea. I know I said you should talk to him about whatever you want, but I’m just wondering now if you should.”

“What do you think will happen if I do, Lix?”

“I’m really not sure. I think I don’t want him to confuse the subject with more opinions?”

“I already asked him if he’d talk about it. I’d feel weird not discussing it now. Yanno what I mean?”

“Yeah, I get it, Sungie. Just be careful, I guess.”

“I will. Thanks for looking out for me, Lix.”

As Jisung walks home he thinks about what exactly he’s upset about and what he needs Minho to answer.

He wants to know what changed so quickly for Min in how he saw Jisung, their relationship, what he wants from it.

He wants to know what Chan said to him during their chat that had him so upset.

He wants to know why instead of coming to talk to him, Minho went to someone else.

He decides that he’ll talk to Minho and let him know these are what need answering.

Minho is there when he gets back to the apartment, pretty much sitting where he was when Jisung left.

“Hi, Sung-ah. How’s Felix? Did you tell him I said hi?”

“Hey, hyung. He’s good. I did tell him. He says hi back.”

Jisung stands in the living room awkwardly, not quite knowing how to proceed. He wishes he could kiss Minho hello, but he can’t. Not yet.

Minho stands up suddenly, opens his arms wide. Jisung walks into them, feeling the warmth that is his best friend, enveloping him. Sometimes Min just knows what Jisung needs, even when he himself doesn’t know he needs it.

They stand there, Minho surrounding Jisung, Jisung breathing in Minho. Jisung squeezes Minho tighter, breathes out a long exhale and steps back.

Minho again sees how much he, Minho, needs these touches throughout the day. They’re grounding in a way he didn’t understand. He feels himself paying more attention to the possibilities that touch with the right person can bring.

“Can I tell you something, Min?”

He nods, “Sure, Sungie. What’s up?”

“I figured out the questions I want you to answer. Is it okay if I tell you? I think it might help you because you’ll know exactly what I’m asking instead of trying to guess at it. What do you think?”

Minho considers the question for a moment.

“I actually think that’s a great idea, Sung-ah. I’ve been trying to come up with what to tell you, but having specific things to answer will be easier for me. Thank you, jagiya. I appreciate it.”

Jisung texts him the questions.

“When should we get back together to talk about your answers? Do you have any questions for me? How about Monday, 11/10? Does that give you long enough?”

“I think that will work.”

He looks at the floor, then up at Jisung through his eyelashes, shy look on his face.

“Thank you, Sungie. Thank you for giving me a chance. I know what I did was stupid and wrong, but you’re asking me for answers instead of not even trying. It’s more than I offered you, and I’m truly sorry for that. Thank you.”

He hugs Jisung again and kisses his cheek.

To: 3RACHA-CHAN 11/7/25, 8:26pm Channie-hyung. I need your help. Can you meet with me tomorrow?

To: MINHO 11/7/25 8:30pm Hi Minho. Yes, I can meet you tomorrow. Is this about Sungie?

To: 3RACHA-CHAN 11/7/25, 8:33pm Yes.

Chapter 28: 28 - Don’t Be Afraid to Dive, Be Afraid That You Didn't Try

Summary:

HanG and 3catdad get to know each other better.

[private message] from HanG to [3catdad] 11/7/25 7:00pm
Hi catdaddy! You here?

[private message] from [3catdad] to HanG 11/7/25 7:00pm
I'm here, Hannie. I'm excited to talk to my pretty boy.

HanG smiles at the praise.

Me too! Is there something else you'd like me to call you? I'm good with you calling me all the names you have before. I really like pet names, and you already know I like being called pretty, so.... ;-)

You can call me my username, catdaddy, MH...I can't think of anything else off the top of my head, but feel free to come up with something and I'll let you know if it doesn't work for me. How's that, pretty boy?

Perfect. Do you mind if I start?

I don't mind. :)

How old are you?

I'm 27.

How long have you lived here?

My whole life. I've traveled a lot for work, though, and I love getting to go to different places. However, I also like my house, a lot. I like being surrounded by my own stuff.

Where are your favorite places to travel?

Hmmmm...Japan is my favorite. I've been there a lot. It's such a short flight and there are so many interesting things to see there. And I'm fluent in Japanese, so that makes things easier. I've been all over, though. North America, Latin America, Europe, all over Asia. But you asked what my favorite is, so Japan. I've also been to Australia with friends who are from there. It's a beautiful country, and queer people can get married there, so that makes it even better.

Am I allowed to ask what you do for a living?

I'll answer without getting too specific, at least for now. I am in the creative arts.

Do you like it?

I do. I get to be creative on my own terms most of the time. And when it's not exactly on my terms, I still have a lot of influence in how I do things.

Hobbies?

Oh! I love watching anime, cooking and my cats, of course! I like it when my friends come over and I can cook for them. Sometimes it's hard to see them because our schedules don't mesh, but we try. And my other hobby is obvious...I like watching your streams, cutie.

Hannie grins at that.

:-D We actually seem to like a lot of the same things, or complement each other in the others. Like I love anime, and I've picked up a lot of Japanese just from watching it with my roommate. I've been to Japan with him quite a few times, and we love going. He loves to cook. I'll burn the house down if I try, so we don't do that anymore. We have 3 cats, 2 orange and white and 1 brownish tabby. They're actually my roommate's, but we've lived together for so long that they've become mine too. I love them.

HanG pauses.

Are you in a relationship with anyone?

No, no relationship for me. Not right now. I've definitely tried it but with what I do for a living, it's hard to keep a person happy. I'm busy a lot, and travel fairly often, so it would be difficult. I wouldn't want to make my partner feel neglected. I have a hookup every now and again, but if I found a person with whom I'd like to try a relationship, and they were realistic about the way things would be, I might try again. But we would have to talk about it a lot. I'd want to be open and honest with them from the start.

He's nervous about this next part, but says it anyway,

This will probably sound...idk...you're my only relationship right now, Hannie. I've really enjoyed all your streams and our private interactions. Is that okay to say?

3catdad holds his breath, hoping he didn't just make an error in judgement.

HanG takes a moment to think through what 3catdad is saying.

That's okay to say, I think. It doesn't make me feel weird. I really like you. That's why I wanted to get to know you better. And I like the way you said you'd want to make sure any new partner is aware of how much you travel and work. That's really important. You strike me as a very conscientious person, and I appreciate that about you.

Thank you Hannie. I really do try. Sometimes I miss the mark, but I feel like trying is more important than being perfect all the time.

Really? I wish I could think that way. I hate making mistakes. But a lot of that is probably childhood trauma. My parents weren't great. I have some stuff that could have been diagnosed at an early age, but my parents weren't interested in trying. So my life was pretty hard. I moved out in my early teens, lucky enough to have friends who took me in. We lived together for a few years until my current roommate and I decided to live together. That was about 5 years ago.

Can I ask you some questions now?

Absolutely! Shoot.

What do you do IRL, aside from streaming?

Hmmm...I'm a music producer and lyricist, those two things are my primary jobs. I work with the 2 guys I moved in as a teenager. We're good together, each of us having a part where we excel, so there's not a lot of overlap, and not a lot of fighting. It works for us. And I love it. Music has been my companion since I was small. I can play the guitar. I'm a good singer. I really enjoy what I do. It brings in enough money for a comfortable life and I set my own hours. It's nice.

You're 25, correct?

Yep. Turned 25 a couple months ago. In September.

You said you're bad at cooking. How come?

Uh...I'm not exactly sure. Probably has something to do with not being able to focus long enough to get through a recipe, or being forgetful and leaving something on the stove to burn. LOL. My roommate was not impressed with that. I, like a lot of people with ADHD, have interest driven focus, so if I'm into it, I can do it. If I'm not, it's harder and takes a lot of energy to get through it. School was really hard for me, except the things I liked.

What do you like to eat? Like your favorite thing?

Sushi. I love sushi. There are other things I like, but both my roommate and I like it, so we have it a lot. That's one thing he doesn't make. He's a great cook otherwise, but he doesn't like making sushi. I don't complain because everything else he cooks is amazing and I'm fed without having to do anything.

Have you lived here your whole life?

Nope, I was born here then moved to Malaysia for a few years when I was younger. That's why I have an almost British accent when I speak English. I've been here ever since.

What about you and relationships? Have you ever been in one? Are you in one now?

Wow...that's kind of a loaded question these days. I've never been in a relationship like you mean. A romantic one. But I've been in a relationship with my roommate for 10 years. And this is where the confusion with my roommate comes in.

Do you want to talk about that?

I do, but I have a question I want to ask you before we start talking about that. How did you find my stream, and what do you like about it that makes you continue to subscribe, donate, etc?

I think I was looking through the new streams feature on the app, and yours popped up. Honestly, Hannie, you're exactly my type. Pretty body, smart, bratty, subby, smaller than me (I assume, anyway, as that's how you appear in streams), and your kinks seem to match mine, meaning what I like to give. I know your face is just as pretty as the rest of you. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. It can't be anything else, yanno? Oh, and your voice. It's sexy. I love how it's deep sometimes, higher others, and the whining...I adore that. I find you endlessly intriguing. Like the best kind of puzzle there is. It's hot that you hide your face behind a mask when you stream, but you're completely willing to show the rest of your body. And you do it so naturally. For someone who hasn't had sex before, you are remarkably in tune with what you want. It's sexy. I love a man who tells me what he needs in bed. And out of bed, too. I love making people feel good. It makes me feel good.

How did you figure out what you like in bed? With other people or experimenting on your own?

I'd say a little of both. I've always known that I'm gay, so I didn't struggle with my sexuality like a lot of kids do. My parents supported me when I came out in my mid-teens. It was not a surprise to them. They supported me when I chose my career path, and also when I changed it to do what I do now. As far as what I like in bed, that's an ever-changing thing. I guess there are core things I like, but I'm also willing to experiment with my partners. And of course I've touched myself enough to know at least what I don't like. And like I said, I'm always willing to experiment. What about you, Hannie? What do you like?

Wellllll....I know I'm gay. For a while I thought I might be bi, but I found out pretty quickly that girls just don't do it for me. They're pretty and I like boobs because they're soft, but I don't have any interest in fucking a girl. I've had a couple hookups that showed me a couple things I like - the hair pulling and praise, but aside from that, I don't really know, because very little experience with other people. I can guess by what I do on stream and when I'm alone. I like pain at the right level, I really like being praised and I like feeling pretty and sexy. Powerful, maybe? But I think I want to be told what to do, so you're right, I'm a sub as far as I can tell. But only in bed. I don't think it extends outside the bedroom, though. Oh, but something happened with my roommate last night while we were at the bar and then again overnight, and there were a couple other things that I might like, but need to try again. There's a lot here, more backstory than that. Do you want to talk about it now? Or is there anything else you want to ask before we start that?

Hannie stops for a moment, then:

Are you sure you're comfortable talking about my roommate? There's a relationship there and it's gotten physical over the few couple days, but he did something that really hurt me. I told him we can't do anything else until we figure out the other part. I totally understand if you don't want to talk about this after all. It's not a requirement for me to want to hang out with you.

I mean, what are your expectations with you and I? What are you looking for? I know it was me who asked if you want to get to know each other, but I never asked what this is for you.

That's a very fair question, HanG. I'm proud of you for asking. I honestly don't know what I'm looking for. I know I like the sexy part of you, but I want to know more about the real you, not the persona you put on for other people. If that's something you want to share. I'm not expecting anything at all from you, Hannie. I'll only ask for as much as you are willing to offer. Are you good with that? What are your expectations of me? That's probably something I should ask, now that the question is on the table.

I'm not sure either. I just know that I have enjoyed our interactions, both on-stream and off. I know I've said this a million times, but I really like you. You're kind, generous, thoughtful. That's off the top of my head. I'm sure there's more to you, and I want to find out what that is. And I feel safe and cared for with you. Which is weird, right? Since we don't even know each other IRL. Is that something you'd want? To meet IRL? I don't know why I'm asking because it's such a miniscule chance of it happening, but I'm still curious as to your answer.

Hannie, I would jump at the chance to meet you IRL, but I don't want you to think that's why I'm here. Maybe we can table that for a while until we see how this works.

I'm good with that.

He remembers a question he wanted to ask.

If I asked you to tell me now what you were thinking the other night, your more private thoughts, would you? Or is it weird for me to want to know?

If HanG could see 3catdad's face he'd see him biting his lower lip and hear the surprised gasp at the question.

Is that what you want, Hannie? For me to tell you all the things I want to do to you?

HanG smirks.

Yeah, catdaddy, I do want to know. I've been thinking about it since you said it. But let's save that for later. We still have talking to do.

HanG is startled by a knock at his door.

"Sungie? Can I come in for a second?"

Catdaddy, my roommate just knocked on my door. Can you give me a few minutes? He waits a few seconds, but there's no response. "Maybe he had to pee." He shrugs.

"Min, come in."

"Hey, Sungie, I just wanted to let you know that I'm leaving in about 30 minutes to go run some errands. Do you need anything? I'm going to pick up food as well. What do you want?"

"Whatever you're having, jagi. You know what I like."

He smiles up at him. Eyes dark with innuendo. Minho grins back at him, having caught the double meaning.

"You know what happens when you tease me, jagiya, right?" His face is serious, eyebrows down over his eyes. Jisung gives a tiny nod and a smirk as Minho leaves his room.

"I'll see you later, Min! Thanks for getting food for me!"

"If I didn't you'd starve to death!"

 

Ok, I'm back, catdaddy. Are you back?

Yep, here I am. Sorry, had to take care of something real quick.

No problem. Hey - do you really have 3 cats?

I do.

Aww, I love cats. Maybe someday you can send me pictures of them. :D Speaking of pictures, are you comfortable sending any of yourself? You don't have to include your face, just curious about you.

Maybe, Hannie. :)

They continue talking about random things, both noticing how easily they get along and how much they have to talk about even though they barely know each other. HanG has a bit of deja vu as he recognizes that this is how he feels with Minho most of the time.

So, which topic is next? Your thoughts or my roommate situation? :D :D :D

Well, I don't want to feel like a lech, but I do what to tell you what I think about. But maybe we'll have enough time for both? Do you have a time constraint tonight? I just have to run out in about 20 minutes, but I can still chat while I'm out.

Ok, sounds like a plan. So...tell me.

Alright, Hannie. Please tell me if anything I say makes you uncomfortable. I'd never want to be the reason for that. Just type "RED" and I'll stop. Got it?

RED, got it.

Do you want the whole fantasy or just the sex part?

Oh! There's more than sex? I think I'd like to hear all of it.

Okay. Just remember, this is all fantasy.

I understand. :)

Here goes:

We meet at a club. You're sat at the bar, nursing a drink. You're wearing one of your masks - the pink and black one where you can see your eyes and lips. You've made yourself up to go out. Smokey eyes, plump lips with a sheen on them. Hair styled away from your face. You've got dangly earrings in both ears. And you're wearing the leather skirt I bought you, with the thong under it. But over the thong is a pair of pink and black tight boxer briefs. You're wearing the harness and your nipple piercings are not covered. Over the harness you have on a cropped black leather top with pink accents. You're wearing a pink and black dangly belly ring. On your feet are those cute slouchy black socks and your black and pink Doc Martens. You look fucking fire. So hot that the other men at the bar can't keep their eyes off of you. It drives me mad. You're there for me and only me. Do they not know that?

I'm loving this so far. :D Please keep going.

I walk up to the bar and sit down next to you. I've had my eye on you since you got here. I'm a regular at this establishment and you are not. Everyone notices the new guy, especially in what you're wearing and how you carry yourself. You're beautiful, even though we can't see your whole face because of the mask. The mask is sexy, it will be like unwrapping the sweetest, most intimate gift when I get you home. You're gorgeous. I can see your tight body, abs on display with that maddening belly ring that I want to bite and pull and suck. When I sit next to you, you turn and smile at me. Your smile is radiant. Like sunlight through the dark.

"Hi," you say, "my name is HanG, who are you?"

"Cat Daddy."

A guy comes over and puts his hand on your shoulder, without your consent. Your glare should be enough, but you tell him you aren't interested. He doesn't make a scene, walks away. But it angers me that some asshole thought he could put his hands on you without asking. My anger has nowhere to go; we have just met and you haven't agreed to do anything with me. I try to calm down.

"Is it okay if I touch you?"

I nod. You put your hand on my arm, "Hey, it's alright. Just take some deep breaths. Nobody got hurt, and I'm still sitting here next to you."

"Thank you, pretty boy."

Your eyes widen and you inhale, and I know you like it when people tell you you're pretty."

Damn, catdaddy, you've got this all fleshed out. Go on, please. 

"HanG, what are you doing here? Are you with someone? You're too beautiful to be here on your own."

"I'm not here with anyone. Sometimes I go to a random bar just to see what happens. I have a friend with me, so I'm safe when I do this."

"That's really smart. I'm glad you have a friend with you. Are you looking to go home with someone tonight, gorgeous boy? I would love for it to be me, if you are."

You shrug your shoulders, making your earrings and belly ring dance in the light. Your tilt your head down and look up at me through your lashes. "You're pretty. And you seem really nice. I would like to go home with you, yes, please."

"Oh, you are so polite, Hannie. I like a polite boy."

"Umm...there's something you need to know, though. I'm a virgin. Is that a turn off?"

Your cheeks heat in embarrassment and you look away.

"It's not a turn off for me, but are you sure you want to give that away to a stranger?"

You nod your head, "I'm sure. I'm tired of being a 25 year old virgin. I just hope you can relax me enough to do anything. A few other people have tried, but it never worked."

"Oh? Well, I would certainly like to help you out, if you're interested."

"Sure, can you give me your address, please? My friend won't let me leave without knowing where I'm going."

I give you the address and you walk over to a beautiful blond haired boy with freckles dusted across his face and a smile that could level a city, it's so brilliant. There's some conversation between the two of you, as though the blond haired boy is fighting you, doesn't want you to leave, but you give him a stare and he gets the message.

We're out the door and on the way to my place within moments. We walk to my apartment hand in hand, quiet for now, the walk only taking 10 minutes.

When we get inside I crowd you against the door, caging you with my arms. You give a little squeak, then relax.

"Can I kiss you, Hannie? Please?"

"Yes, I'd like that," you return breathlessly.

I take my time with the kiss, starting with slow, slow brushes of lips against lips, mapping them out. The mask is still on. I could kiss you all night. You taste like honey and your lips are the softest I've ever felt. I want more. Now. But I know you need to go slowly, so that's what I intend to do. We kiss and kiss, neither of us wanting to stop. It's so right. Our lips are perfect together.

"Hannie? Can I touch your stomach? Is that okay, baby?"

Your breath hitches at the word baby.

"You like when I call you pet names, baby?"

You nod your head, stare holding my own as your cheeks flush with the admission.

"Are you self-conscious because you like to be called pet names?"

You nod again, lips in a pout.

"There's no need for that, Hannie. I'll call you whatever makes you feel good."

"Oh...okay. Thank you." You give me a small smile.

"I'm going to kiss you some more, okay sweet boy?"

Your head is nodding before you even realize it. Our lips come together, I run my tongue along the seam of your lips, you open. There's that taste again. The sweetest honey. We stay like that for a long time, kissing each other lazily, getting used to one another. Then I find your waist with my hand. You shudder from the touch, I'm losing my mind. From just kissing you and barely touching you. I start running my hands up and down your sides.

"Hannie, can I take your shirt off?"

"Yes."

I'm stunned at what's underneath.

"Do you like it? Am I pretty in it?"

"Yes, baby, I love it. You look amazing in it. So pretty. Is it okay with you if I touch your chest?"

"Yes, please, I want you to."

"Tell me what you like, pretty. Do you like a little pain or none at all?"

"Um, I've only touched myself, so I don't know how it feels if another person does it, but you can try. I like a little bit of pain, like when I pull on my nipple piercings or my hair. You can try that, if you'd like. But you'll stop or change it if I tell you I don't like it or it's uncomfortable?"

"Absolutely. I want to make you feel good, not hurt you, unless that's what you want."

"Ok, touch me."

"Catdaddy, you're...wow...you've put a lot of thought into this. It's so detailed. I love it. Ummmm, I'm getting turned on by it, imagining it in my head. Oh, shit, it's been 20 minutes. Do you need to go?"

"Yeah, I do, but like I said, I can chat while I'm out, unless you'd like to wait until another day to finish this. It's up to you."

"If you're comfortable continuing while you're out, I want to hear the rest."

"Ok, then I'll continue. :)"

"Good. I'm invested in this. ;) I need to step away for a couple minutes, but I'll be back as soon as I can."

"No problem, pretty."

Jisung walks out to find Minho before he leaves. As usual, he's sitting on the couch, phone in his hand. This time he has an odd look on his face.

"What's up, Min? I came out to tell you goodbye. Are you still going out?"

He glances down at his phone, then up, looking directly at Jisung. Turns off the phone.

"Yep, I'm still going out, Sungie. I'll be back in an hour or so. Do you want to watch a show when I get back? I can pick up snacks while I'm out."

"Ohhhhh! Yes! What do you want to watch? That sounds fun!" He bounces on his toes.

"Ok, go! The sooner you go, the sooner you get back and we can watch something!"

Min chuckles at how excited Sungie is.

"Ok, Sung-ah. I'm going. I'm going!"

He puts his shoes on at the door and leaves.

Jisung goes back to his room, back to 3catdad and his fantasy. If he's being honest, he's a little...freaked out? Uncomfortable?...about how much thought has been put into this, but he also loves it. Someone thinking about him this much? It's powerful to be wanted like this. He's pretty sure he wants catdad to continue with his story. And he knows catdad would stop if he asked.

"Okay, I'm back. Are you there?"

"Hi Hannie. I'm here. It may be a little slower since now I'm on my phone, just FYI."

"Thank you for letting me know. I probably have about 45 minutes until my roommate gets home. Then he and I are doing something together."

Catdad tries not to be jealous of the roommate, but he is. And that makes him feel uncomfortable because he knows he has no right to that feeling.

"Alright, let's get back to it, then!"

I've just taken your shirt off and I see the harness you're wearing. You look so good in it. The way it highlights your chest. I trace a fingertip around your nipple, harness still on. You arch into my touch, "Please, touch me more," voice raspy with want. And so I do...I want to take things slowly with you, I really do, but you're so reactive to my touch and I feed off of it.

"Hannie, can I take you to my bedroom?"

"Yes, please. I'd like that."

"Jump and wrap your legs around me."

You weigh nothing to me, and suddenly my hands are full of the most glorious ass. I can't keep my lips off you. We're kissing again, you're dropping the sweetest little gasps and mewls.

"Please, catdaddy, I want more," you whisper, shy.

"Okay, baby, don't worry, hyung will take care of you."

I lay you on the bed and you look up at me, eyes hooded, lips spit-slick, chest heaving. You've never looked more beautiful than you do now.

"You still with me, HanG? Still okay with this?"

"Yes. Definitely. Please, keep going."

"Hannie? Can I take off your skirt?"

You nod. I pull the skirt down your thighs, off your legs, it hits the floor. You're in your boxers and something else.

"Why do you have these on?" I point to the boxers.

"Mmmm...so I can dance without people seeing anything I don't want them to see. You can take them off."

I groan when I see what's waiting for me under them.

"Hannie. Really? You've been wearing this all night too? Holy shit, baby, this is...I have no words."

"I like it, it makes me feel good about myself."

"You are perfect, Hannie. I hope you know that."

It's hard for you to take compliments, even though you crave the validation they bring.

"Th-thank you," you look down, not able to look me in the eye.

"Would you stand up and show me, baby?"

You stand up, do a quick turn, then sit back down on the bed, knees together.

"Am I good?"

"So good, pretty. So good for me."

I look at you, up and down. "You're so pretty, Hannie. I want to worship you with my mouth. Is that okay, baby?" You nod. "I need words, Hannie."

"Yes, you can use your mouth," you grate out, voice rough.

"I'm going to finish undressing you, I want to see all of you."

"Ok, but I want you to take your clothes off too, hyung. Please?"

Your voice is almost a whine.

"Of course I will."

I take off my shirt and pants. You're not shy about looking, which I like. You pull me down on top of you, each of us feeling how aroused the other is, your leg snaking behind me to pull me closer.

"I want to finish getting you naked, okay sweet boy?"

"Yes, please."

I sit up on my knees, hook my thumbs under the waistband of your thong and pull the garment off. "You're perfect everywhere," I whisper.

"Catdad...wait. There will be another surprise once you see me naked. Well, two more."

"Hannie, I'm intrigued. What will I find, pretty boy?"

"Ah...haha. I have two more piercings. I have a frenum and a hafada. I've never worn the jewelry in them on stream, but I'm wearing both now."

"Fuck. I want to see. That's sexy as hell, HanG. I'm glad I wore a long shirt today." :P

I reach around you to unhook the harness. Take it off. The o-rings have left indentations around your nipples, and I can't help but lean down to take one into my mouth. Your whole body reacts, a gasp ripped from your mouth. I can't stop. I suck the barbell into my mouth, between my teeth. Gently at first, then harder when I see that you want more. All the while you're writhing under me, body reacting like you can't control it. I move to the other nipple, doing the same.

"Nnngghhh...cat daddy, so good. Wan' more, please."

"You've asked so nicely, baby. Tell me what you want."

Words are hard, so you try to raise your hips to tell me where you need my touch. I understand.

I move my hand down, sliding slowly over your chest, toned abs, out to your hips. Then to where you need me.

"Hannie, I'm going to try to open you up. Okay, baby?"

"Mmmm, yes."

I squirt some lube on my fingers and warm it up. Your cock is so pretty, I want to suck you off. I get my lips around it and feel you buck upwards immediately. So sexy. So reactive, so fucking hot. I take all of you, swirl my tongue around the base, then back up to where your piercing is. I tongue that and pull on it. You're about to come off the bed. I run my fingers between your cheeks, find your hole and circle a finger around your rim. Your cock is still in my mouth, and by the sounds pouring out of you, you're feeling good.

"M-more, hy-hyung. P-put it in."

I slowly push my finger in. You clench. Not out of pain, but out of pleasure.

"Pl-ple-please," you whine.

That's what undoes me. The whine. My finger is almost all the way in. I pull it out to the tip then sink it back in. Again. And again. Until you're begging for another. I give it to you. I must brush over your prostate, because all of a sudden you freeze, whimper, "Yesssss, yes, right there."

I keep a steady rhythm, not even thinking about myself, how hard I am. It's all about pleasing you. Giving you what you want. You're so beautiful like this.

My mouth gives one last hard suck, then, "Baby, can I take your mask off? I want to see your whole face."

"Yes."

I don't stop fucking your hole with my two fingers as I slowly drag the mask off.

"God damn, Hannie. I knew you'd be pretty, but this? Jesus. You're art."

"Th-thank you. Pl-please, can you kiss me?"

"Yes, pretty, I'll give you what you want. You've been such a good boy. Taking my fingers so well. Letting me suck your pretty cock."

You moan at my words, hips raising in that beautiful push and pull. We kiss, tongues tangling, teeth against teeth, heat against heat.

"I want you so bad, baby. You're not stretched enough, though."

You whimper, "'Wanna see you."

"You can see me, but I'll have to stop what I'm doing for a second."

You nod, eyes on mine.

I stand up, thumbs pulling my underwear down, your eyes follow the movement.

"Oh god. Y-you're huge." I smirk, because it's true.

"Don't worry, you'll be prepped enough to take me. I'd never hurt you, Hannie."

"Well, that's something I know now, catdaddy. *waggles eyebrows at you*"

"LOL, yep, it is. :D"

"Hannie, do you want to try sucking me off?"

Big eyes meet mine, flush high on your cheeks.

"Yes, I want that."

I lay down on the bed, you on your knees, bent over me with your ass almost facing me, face at my hips.

"I'm going to keep fingering you while you do this, how does that sound?"

You nod. You use a hand to sit my cock up, open your mouth as wide as you can and take it inside. The feel is incredible. Fuck me...this is heaven. You can't get very much in.

"Don't worry, baby, taking more comes with practice, just do the best you can."

You do it so well. You take about half before you choke on it, eyes tearing up. My fingers are still in your ass, you've dribbed pre-cum on the sheets, on your thighs...so hot.

"Hannie, stop, baby. You've done such a good job, but I want to take care of you now. Lay down. I want to get you off without fucking you for now. We can do that another time. I just want to watch you cum. Is that okay with you?"

"Do you not want me?" You pout at me, tears coming back to your eyes. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Not at all, I just don't want to overwhelm you, and I am so enjoying your body. It's not a big deal to me if we fuck. You can make me cum a different way. I promise, you didn't do anything wrong. You've done so well."

"Um, I guess it's ok."

"If we get to a point where it seems right, we can do it. I just don't want to rush you."

"What are you doing right now, Hannie? Are you touching yourself? Tell me, pretty."

"Caught. LOL. How could I not? This is hot as fuck."

"Where are you?"

"On my bed. Naked, touching all the places you touch in your fantasy."

You're on your back on my bed, looking like the gorgeous princess you are. I slide two fingers back into your hole.

"Do you think you can take another?"

"Try, please."

I slick up my fingers again, bring them to your rim and push them in.

"S-sttop. T-too much. "

I stop but don't take them out.

"Can you handle it like this for a few seconds, baby? Get used to them?"

You nod.

I find the piercing at the top of your balls and play with that, then take you into my mouth again. You start moving on my fingers, moaning, so I start fucking you with them. Your face is flushed, you're breathing hard, moans and whimpers dropping constantly.

"Does this feel good, my pretty boy?"

"Y-yes, hy-hyung. P-please..."

"Please what baby?"

"Do-don't ss-top."

"I won't. Not 'til you cum, okay?"

You look at me.

"Okay. Can I cum?"

"Not yet, sweet boy. A little longer."

It's like a wet dream come to life, watching you fall apart on my fingers, my mouth.

"How do you want to cum? Mouth? Hand?"

"I l-like your m-mouth, pl-please?" You whine.

"Please, hyung! C-close!"

"I'm seriously about to cum, hyung. This is amazing. Can I cum?"

"I'm thrilled this is doing it for you, baby. No, you can't cum. Not til I tell you. And it may not be tonight."

"Fuck, that's hot."

I take your cock back in my mouth, licking at the tip, taking the pre-cum that keeps beading out. You're lost, looking like you're out of your head with need, wanting to cum so badly.

"You can come, pretty boy."

I take you deeper, my cheeks hollowed, taking it all. Fingers pushing in and out, hitting your prostate with every stroke inside. You're shaking, trying to prolong the pleasure, trying not to cum. The sounds you make are like the most beautiful song I've ever heard. Then you're clenching around my fingers, cock kicking in my mouth, spurting cum down my throat. I swallow every drop, work you through your orgasm until you're lying there, a boneless puddle. 

"Hyung. What the fuck. That was, was...I don't even know."

You eye my still hard cock. Do you want help with that? Or can I at least watch you take care of it? Please?"

"You can help. I'll tell you how. Can I come on your belly?

"Really? You'd want to do that?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Ok."

I start stroking myself, grabbing my cock, just this side of painful. That you're watching me makes the whole business a million times better.

"Baby, will you touch me? Play with my nipples, scratch down my chest?"

You use your long fingers to pull at my nipples, the flat of your thumb brushing over them again and again.

"Harder, Hannie. Make it hurt."

I hear your intake of breath, like you're getting aroused again. I feel you doing what I asked while my hand is working my cock. This is so good, better than anything I've had before.

"Scratch me, baby, or bite me hard. Please. I want to feel it."

You do, you put your teethmarks in my side. Then bite at my nipples. Finally you're up to my neck, tongue leaving wet patches, lips leaving marks. Faster and faster, I am so close.

"More, Hannie, please, baby," I whine at you.

"I need it to hurt."

You do what you're told, and it's so good.

"Baby, down, I'm close."

You put one hand on my inner thigh and the other on my balls, squeezing, not too hard, not too soft. It's what pushes me over the edge. Hot ropes of come shoot on your belly and lower, like I'm marking you in some way.

"Hannie! Yes! FUCK."

I collapse over you, like a cage, not falling on you.

"Are you ok, baby?"

"I'm good, hyung. I liked that. A lot."

"Oh, Hannie, so did I. So much. Too much. Let's get you cleaned up.

I walk to the bathroom to get a warm, wet washcloth, come back and get you clean.

"Were you serious about a next time?"

"Do you want me to be serious about it?"

"Yes. Please. I want more."

"Then there will be a next time, baby."

"Hey, HanG? I have to go. I'm done with what I went out to do. I hope you enjoyed this and that it wasn't too much."

"I did enjoy it. It was amazing. And the detail...holy shit. You're really good at describing your fantasy. Can I really not come tonight, hyung? I have to go do something with my roommate tonight and it won't be good if I'm hard and horny. LOL. I'd like to do this again, if you do."

"I'm not mean. You can come tonight, baby, but maybe you have to tell me about it during our next conversation. I'd love to do this again, Hannie. See you soon, then."

Jisung hears the front door at that moment.

"Min? I'll be out in a couple minutes. Just have to take care of a couple things, ok?"

"No problem, Sungie. I'll get our snacks ready."

Jisung wills his erection to go away. He knows what will happen if he goes and sits with Min when he's like this.

It doesn't go away. Minutes have passed. He's screwed.

The worst part? The whole time he was with catdad, reading his fantasy, it was Minho who was doing everything to him.

Chapter 29: 29 - You Showed Me That I Was Just A Diamond In The Rough

Summary:

Minho figures out what to say to Jisung. Jisung is having a small crisis of conscience.

Title from Hard to Love by ONE OK ROCK.

Jisung isn't sure what to do about his problem. But Min's going to start asking questions if he doesn't get out there soon. He tucks himself in his waistband, hoping it's not noticeable. He pulls his shirt over his hips as a second barrier. He walks out to the living room and finds Minho sitting on the couch, scrolling on his phone. The same thing that happens every time Jisung comes out - Min freezing over what he's looking at, then locking his phone - happens again. He's beginning to wonder what the hell that's all about.

"Hey, Sungie," Minho smiles softly at him, "what do you want to watch? Movie? Documentary? Anime? I'm good with anything."

"Uhh...I'm not sure. What's in the queue for documentaries?" he says as he sits down next to Minho, a little awkwardly since he's still hard. 

He keeps thinking about what got him there. It's a vicious cycle. He pulls a pillow over his lap, just in case. 

Minho watches him, question on his face. Then he asks. "Why do you look so weird? What's with the pillow?" Jisung looks away, cheeks turning red. 

"Sungie? What's going on?" 

"Oh my god, Min, just leave it!" 

"What the hell is your pro...Oh. You're aroused. Hard. Right, baby?" His voice gone deep. 

Jisung still can't look him in the eye. 

"Jisung. Look at me." 

"I don't want to. This is too embarrassing." 

"Sungie. I thought we'd been over this. We've done stuff...why is this embarrassing now? You've seen my whole entire everything. You being hard is not an issue. So stop acting weird."

To himself, "If you knew the reason you'd understand. And you'd be hurt." He didn't really think through the consequences of his actions, talking to catdad the way he did. Even though they aren't exclusive, or really even together-together, he thinks it might hurt Minho's feelings the way his feelings were hurt when Minho slept with someone else. Now he's in a bit of a pickle. He needs to tell Minho the truth about what he does, but he doesn't want to do that unless they are in a romantic relationship. He'd do anything to preserve that.

"You're right, Min. I'm making a bigger deal out of this than it needs to be."

"What's got you all hot and bothered anyway, jagiya?"

"Ummm. Something I read online, I guess."

"Oh, like a fanfic or something? You reading erotica online? Boys Love? I love a good smutty story."

"Yeah, or something. Can we just watch the show? Please, Min," he whines.

"Ok, Bug." He turns on the show.

Great. Now all Jisung can think about is what's in his pants and what he wants Minho to do with it. Fuck.

Minho wants to know what Sungie was doing online that has him aroused. He can't get that, and the fact that Sungie is sitting next to him, aching and embarrassed, out of his mind. He wants to tease him about being embarrassed...and tease him with his tongue. Great. Fantastic. Now he's horny. He can’t sit here with Jisung like that and not want, not be bothered by it.

"Uh, Sungie?" He looks over to him. "You wanna do something about that?" He eyes Jisung's lap.

"It's making me crazy, baby."

"MINHO! What the fuck. Stop it!"

Jisung looks at Min, eyes huge and cheeks pink, then down to his lap. Oh, you have to be fucking kidding me right now, he thinks to himself.

"What is wrong with us? Go to your room and take care of that. I'm going to mine to do the same. No, I do not want your help, thank you very much, I know you're going to offer. Ten minutes, then we watching this fucking documentary on...on...Vampire Cheetahs and The Yetis Who Love Them. WHAT? Whatever, just go jerk off. We will never speak of this again. Do you understand me, Lee Minho? NEVER."

He walks off.

Min sits there. Blinks a few hundred times. Then goes to take care of himself.

Twenty minutes later they're both back on the couch, cheeks flushed, sheen of sweat on their faces, still breathing hard. But at least they aren't hard anymore and distracting each other.

Neither of them will look at the other.

"Start the documentary, please Min?" He does.

It's awkward between them now, but it's also kind of funny.

Jisung finally breaks and looks over at Min.

"Did you...?"

"You said we'd never speak of this! Do you really want to speak of it, Bug?" He has the biggest shit eating grin on his face.

"Shit. I did say that."

"Did I what, baby? Think of your hands on me? Flicking my nipples while you give me head? Jerking yourself off while you did it?"

Jisung lets out some sort of pained sound, something between a moan and a fuck you, Minho.

"Yeah, Min," he says breathlessly, "that's exactly what I wanted to know."

"What about you, baby? What did you think about?"

"MINHO! Fucking stop it. I can't tell you that."

He absolutely can, but he's going to drag this out as long as he can just to fuck with him.

"Sungie, come on, pretty boy. Please tell me?"

"You just can't stand not knowing, can you? How badly do you want to know?"

"Very?"

"You're going to have to do better, Kitty."

"Jisung," he warns in a deep voice, "you are piling up punishments. Are you sure that's the route you want to go?"

"Oh, very," he says, challenge written all over his face.

They get through the documentary, which was actually pretty entertaining. Who knew there were vampire cheetahs just living their lives out in the world? 

Jisung is the first to get off the couch when the documentary ends. 

"Min, I'm going to bed. I'll see you tomorrow." 

He bends down to give Minho a hug and gets a hard slap on his ass for his trouble. 

He turns around and offers it up for more. 

"Please, Kitty? You know how much I like it..." 

Before Minho can get his hand up to give another, Jisung scampers off to his room, looking over his shoulder, daring Minho to try.

Minho stays put. Opens his phone. Starts typing.

[private message] from [3catdad] to HanG 11/7/25 11:35pm
Hi Hannie. 

I just wanted to say again how much I enjoyed today. You’re so easy to talk to, and you’re right, we do have a lot in common. 

I was thinking that maybe you should try the next size up of the plugs I sent? Do you think you can do that? You’ll look so pretty for me, so sexy. You make me feel so good when you do things like this for me, Hannie. 

I look forward to our next discussion. Let me know when.

-3catdad

[private message] from HanG to [3catdad] 11/7/25 11:43pm
Hi! I will definitely try for you. 😈 

OMG cat dad. I’ll be very honest. I was still hard when I went out to hang out with my roommate. LOL Situation no bueno and awkward as fuck, but kinda funny. 

Anyway, I’ll let you know when I’m free. Maybe during the day, if you’re available?

Talk soon,

-Hannie

Jisung wakes around 11am to a knock at his door. 

“Sungie, are you awake?” 

“Mmmmm…no.” 

“I’m coming in. Put your dick away for a minute, you insatiable freak.” 

Jisung giggles. “Come in at your own risk. My ginormous dong is still out!” 

Minho laughs and opens the door, eyes covered with his hand. 

“Is it gone?” 

“Yeah, it’s under the bed, back in its box.” 

“Ok, ew, Jisung. That’s…well, kinda hot, actually.” They both laugh. 

“What’s up, Min?”

“Just letting you know I’m going to meet Chan for lunch, so I’m leaving in a few minutes and will be gone a couple of hours at least. Is there anything you need while I’m out?” 

“I don’t think so, but if I think of something I’ll text you.” 

“Ok.” 

“Min?”

He raises an eyebrow in response.

“Can you come here?” He raises the blanket, wants Minho to get in the bed. “Please?”

He slips in next to him. Jisung wraps around him and feels Minho’s arms hug around him, bringing him closer.

“What’s wrong, Sungie,” he asks quietly.

“Nothing really. I just didn’t sleep well and want to cuddle for a few minutes. Do you have time for a little bit?”

“Of course, baby. Anything for you.”

Jisung nuzzles his face into Minho’s neck, smelling the citrusy scent of his cologne. “You smell good.”

Jisung’s fingers find the hem of Minho’s shirt and slide under it to softly rub over the skin there. Not sexual, just grounding. “Is this ok, Min?” He nods. “It feels nice.” They lay like that for a few minutes, Jisung continuing his tactile journey around Min’s side, feeling more and more relaxed. Maybe he’ll go back to sleep. He doesn’t have a ton of stuff to do today, and can work a little later.

“Sungie,” Minho whispers, “I have to go.”

“Noooo, stay here forever with me,” he says with a pout. “Please,” he whines. “I like you here.”

“I’d love to, Sungie, but I have to go see Chan, remember?”

“Yeah…ok, fine.”

“I promise we can snuggle later, okay?”

Jisung puts on his best pouty face, eyes big, “Really? You promise, hyung?”

“You’re the worst, Sungie,” he laughs. “Yes, I promise-promise.”

“Ok. Tell Chan I said hi.”

Minho figures out how to extricate himself from Jisung without toppling them both onto the floor and leaves.

Jisung resituates himself in the bed, getting the blankets right, then sinks back into the warmth and falls asleep for a while.

Chan sees Minho first. “Min! Over here.” Somehow they ended up at the same restaurant as that disastrous night not long ago, where bad decisions were made, consequences paid.

“Hey Chan. Thanks for meeting me. I really appreciate it.”

Chan smiles at him, “Anytime, Min.”

They get seated and order their food.

“So, you said this was about Sungie. What’s going on? Last time we talked you bolted after I asked you how you felt about Sungie being with someone else, and you said it made you physically ill to think about that. Then I asked what if it was you, and you said you wanted that, just didn’t know if you could have that. That’s when you left.”

“Yeah…um, a lot has happened since then.”

“Oh, I’m aware, Min. But I’d like to hear about it directly from you. Okay?”

“Fuuuuuckk. Fine. Again, this goes nowhere, right? Obviously you and Felix talk, and I know Sungie talks to Felix, but that’s it. Nothing outside of the four of us, okay?  Chan nods. 

“First, you remember what I told you the other day, about us going running, Sung wearing a skirt, then us working out in the gym and all that?” 

“Yep.” 

“Okay, after I left here I called one of my hookups. Worst mistake of my life. I regret it, knew I shouldn’t have done it, hurt him and Jisung. And myself. I don’t know what I was thinking. Well, that’s not true. I know - I was scared and horny and I didn’t want to fuck up what I have with Jisung. Anyway, my friend and I were messing around, he’d already left some hickeys and fingernail marks on me. Jisung texted me during that, responding to a text I’d sent saying I wasn’t sure I was coming home that night, to tell me he was bummed about that. It was like cold water being poured over me. I stopped what was going on, felt like the shit human I am and went home. Sungie was sleeping when I got home. I took his earbuds out and he woke up, wanted me to get in bed with him, so I did. I didn’t know if it was the last time I would be allowed to do that, so I was selfish and snuggled him for hours. Left sometime after 4am. Later that morning I found him in my bed snuggling me, petting me. I didn’t have a shirt on. Then I remembered what happened and told him to stop, that I needed to pee or something. I got up, he saw my body. Ran out of the room.” 

“Oh, Min. Wow. I’m sure that was hard for both of you.” 

“Yeah, it sucked and I felt horrible, and like I’d ruined something before it had even started.” 

“I guess it was the next day, Sungie came out of his room wearing a t-shirt and a skirt. Not the running skirt, but a real skirt. I was sitting on the couch, heard him come out, looked up and I think I gasped. He looked…anyway, I guess I stayed on the couch, just being in my own head, berating myself for what I’d done, for hours. He came back out wearing a different outfit. Another skirt and a cropped top, hair and makeup done. He looked beautiful, and I told him he did. He got really mad at me, which is fair. There was a little back and forth, during which he said that maybe he’d go home with someone tonight. Then he left.” 

“Okay, I can see why he’d say that. He was hurt and wanted to hurt you.” 

“Yeah, I know.” Minho hangs his head. 

“Hearing him say he might go home with someone else made me feel…I don’t know. Angry? Jealous? Possessive? I didn’t like the idea of it. So I decided to go to the club. Felix had invited me and I’d said no earlier. But after that I had to go. I’m glad I did because a guy wouldn’t leave him alone even after he said no repeatedly, and I almost beat his ass, but Sungie stopped me. But again, I was also stupid. At least I think I was? I basically asked why the guy thought he could touch what’s mine.” 

Chan inhales sharply. “You said that? Like, out loud? In front of Jisung? After what you did the night before, Min?” 

He nods, cheeks flushed. 

“How did Sungie react?” 

“Uh…he was pissed. Wanted to know in what universe he’s mine, reminded me what I had done, asked what we are. I didn’t know how to answer him, other than that he’s mine. He is, Chan. All of you already think we’re together, so it’s not a crazy thing, right? I just know deep down we’re us, together, and that’s how it is. I’ve been trying to figure out when I started thinking of him as mine. He’s always been my Sungie, my Bug, so I think he’s been mine from the start. It sounds so stupid to say out loud, that I'm just realizing this now. Maybe he wasn’t mine romantically for this whole time,” he shrugs, “but maybe he was and I just didn’t see it because it’s always felt so normal between us.”

“You’ve got balls, Min, I’ll give you that. I’m sure Jisung was angry, hurt and confused. Then what happened?” 

“I begged him to let me show him that he’s mine, how I feel. He eventually said yes, so we danced. I touched him, asked him if it was okay if I did. He clearly liked me touching him, kissing his neck, etc. Only when I started, uh, touching a bit under his skirt did he stop me and tell me we need to talk before this goes any further. I agreed, asked if I could kiss him and he said yes, so we did. There are so many details…after that he said he was staying because he wanted to dance more. I sat at the bar and watched over him, then took him home when he was ready. He was too drunk to walk home, so I carried him on my back. Got him in the apartment, dressed in his underwear and a big t-shirt, then went to sleep. A few hours later he was humping my side in his sleep. I woke him up and things, uh, happened. He, um, asked if I’d really get naked if he asked, which I did, and then he wanted to er, watch? Yanno, so that happened while he was on my thigh, uh, ugh, fuck, you know what I’m saying, Chan.”

His face is completely red, ears burning, and he can’t look Chan in the face. 

“Yeah, Min, I get it. Mutual masturbation, whatever, etc.” 

“Yeah. Ok, I cleaned us up and we went to sleep. The next morning I felt really weird. When Sungie woke up, I asked if I could hold him, and the closer he got to me the more weird feeling I got. I was crying. He really helped me, though. Gave me words for what he thought I might be feeling, and was pretty spot on. I can see that the work he’s put in with his therapist on naming and recognizing emotions has really helped. I was scared, overwhelmed and insecure. I don’t know what I’m doing with him and I’m so afraid I’m going to fuck it up, or he’s going to get sick of having to help me figure out my feelings, yanno? I don’t like feeling vulnerable. He was so good. At the end, he did something, then smirked at me and ran out of the room laughing while I chased him. I finally caught him and threw him on the couch, landed on top of him and tickled him. Something changed and we got all horny again. He asked if he could take my shirt off and I remembered and reminded him of the marks. He handled it well and asked if we could kiss some more. We did. Then he asked if I wanted to talk about stuff. I said no and he was okay with that. But he did say that he couldn’t wait much longer to discuss this because there were things in his life that he’d put on hold and needed to get back to. Things he wasn’t ready to talk about with me or anyone else. Do you know what he’s talking about, Chan? It’s driving me crazy to think that there’s something Sungie’s hiding from me.” 

Chan has a weird look on his face when Minho glances over to him. 

“What? Why do you look like that?” 

“Huh? Oh, no, I don’t know. I don’t know what Jisung is talking about.” 

“Did you know he has a belly piercing?” 

“Really? No, I didn’t. That’s interesting. I wonder why he got that. And when.” 

“Yeah, I have no idea.” 

Their food comes, so they take a break from talking about Sungie to eat. 

“Anything else happen?” 

“Just one more thing, but it was really helpful. Jisung said he’d distilled down what he wants from me so that I’m not guessing about what he wants to talk about. He said he wants to know what changed for me so quickly in how I see him, our relationship and what I want from it; what you said to me during the talk the other day that upset me; and why instead of just talking to Jisung about this, I went to someone else, meaning my friend. I think these are pretty fair questions, and I need your help to figure out how to answer them. Can you help me?” 

Chan nods. 

“I also thanked Sungie for giving me a chance with him instead of just throwing it all away because I’m such a fucking moron.” 

“You’re not wrong, dumbass,” Chan says, deadpan. 

“Okay, well, why don’t we tackle the first question?” 

Chan looks at Minho expectantly. 

Minho sighs. “I hate this. Why do I hate this so much? Why is it so hard for me to talk about my feelings? I thought about this the other day, why I am the way I am. I think maybe it’s just how I was raised. We didn’t talk about how we felt. Maybe that’s weird. Maybe Sungie and I are two extremes of a weird coin; him too in touch with his emotions, me not in touch enough. But I also thought that it doesn’t matter why I am the way I am, only what I do next. Whatever, this is probably not helpful to talk about right now.” 

“I don’t think that’s true, Min. I think the fact that you are asking these questions is a good thing. It shows that you are willing to be introspective for someone you love even when it makes you uncomfortable. That you’re willing to try to change. I don’t think you should dismiss that so easily. Neither should Jisung.” 

“Thanks, Channie-hyung. I appreciate that.” 

“No problem, Min. Gotta give credit where it’s due, yeah?” He smiles. 

“Okay, let’s get this done!” 

They work on the answers to the questions together. By the time they’re ready to leave, Minho feels confident that he can talk to Sungie about this and give him answers that make sense. They’ve talked through what Min was feeling, why he reacted the way he did. He’s anxious to tell Jisung. 

Minho enters the apartment, feeling lighter than he has in days. He shuts the door quietly, listening to see if Jisung is home. Then he hears it. The singing. The song. The words. Possibly the most beautiful song he’s ever heard.

“I'm the drought, you're rain, I'm paper, you're a poem

Your attention changes the brightness of my empty heart, you're light

Your arms, my home, my breath, my God”

“Jisung? Where are you?” He hears fast footsteps.

“Right here, hyung!” 

Minho meets him in the hallway. Scoops him up into a hug, grin on his face. Sungie burrows right into him, matching smile on his lips. Min walks them to the couch, sits down with him straddling his lap. 

“Hi, baby,” he looks down at Jisung in his arms, soft smile still on his mouth. He draws him close. “I missed you.” 

“You did?” 

He nods. “I did.” 

“I understand that because I always miss you when you’re gone, Min. Even when it’s only for a short while.“

Minho’s eyes widen a little at that, as if he didn’t realize how important he is to Jisung. It makes him feel loved. “I…I don’t think I realized that, Sungie. Thank you.”

Jisung just smiles at him. 

“I’m ready to talk. About the questions you sent me. Whenever you are. Sooner than later, if we can. I…I…want to tell you. It feels good to have answers, to be able to verbalize some feelings. Can you let me know when you want to talk?”

“I would say I’m free now, but this guy has me straddling his lap and he’s calling me baby, so….maybe I’m not as free as I thought I was,” he giggles. 

“I want to kiss you. Can I kiss you, baby? Please?”

Weak, he's so weak. Jisung nods his head, “Please, Min.”

Minho tilts Sungie’s head up with a finger under his chin, leans in and gently places a kiss on his lips. His other hand has found its way under his shirt at the small of his back, rubbing soft circles into the skin there. They kiss slow and deliberate, not rushed, no destination in mind, kissing just to kiss. Minho is so ready to be able to do this whenever he wants. To not have to think about the litany of reasons they shouldn’t do this, most of them because of him and his mistakes. 

“Sungie, I’d kiss you forever if you’d let me. I’m addicted.”

Jisung rests his head against Minho’s chest. “I’d let you, Min. I’d let you do anything…everything. Forever.” He sighs. “But first…”

“We talk.”

Chapter 30: 30 - Don't Worry, It's Safe Right Here In My Arms

Summary:

Minho and Jisung finally talk.

Chapter title from The Beginning by ONE OK ROCK.

“So…do I just talk, Sungie?” 

“Yep, you can start with whatever question you want. I’ll listen, and let you know if I have any questions.” 

Minho takes a deep breath. “Okay. Here goes everything, then.”

“You asked what changed for me so quickly in how I see you, our relationship and what I want from it. How I see you: You’re my Sungie, my Bug, my soul mate. I’ve never allowed myself to consider you as a romantic partner - please don’t be offended, just let me explain - because we’ve always been in a romantic relationship but we didn’t realize it. At least that’s what I think, after talking to Chan. Everybody, every single one of our friends already thought we were together. For years. Chan was so shocked to find out that we’d never so much as kissed when I talked to him that first time. I think deep down I knew, but I never allowed myself to look too closely at those feelings. I just stuffed them down instead. But that night, when I heard you and all these thoughts started swirling in my head? I couldn’t stop them. And I don’t think I wanted to, if we’re being honest. Do you want to know what I felt?” 

Jisung nods, “I really do, Min. Please tell me.” 

“Jealous. Possessive. Angry. Confused. You’ve always been mine, Jisung. In my mind you’ve always been “my” Sungie. Just like I said earlier. Again, I never looked at that too closely, just figured it was a by-product of how close we have always been. But when I heard you and started thinking you might be doing things with someone else, I lost my shit. I realized as I sat in the hallway after I confronted you, hard and feeling things I thought I had no business feeling, that I had a crush on you. That even the thought of you moaning for someone else made me crazy. But it also made me scared. I didn’t want to ruin our relationship, our amazing relationship, with feelings like that. So I tried to ignore what I was feeling. Hint: It didn’t work.” 

Jisung laughs.

“What do I want from this relationship? Everything, Jisung. I want everything. Whatever you’ll give me. You are so important to me. The most important thing in my life. I’m sorry I hurt you in the process of figuring my shit out. I really am. But I hope you can forgive me and we can move forward with a full, different kind of relationship. I know exactly what I want, and it’s you, this, us. I think I know what our relationship has the potential to be, and I want that. It’s not just about the physical side, though that absolutely plays a part. You’re sexy and beautiful and I want you, so fucking bad. I want to live in the world with you by my side, as my boyfriend, partner, whatever we want to call it. We’ve always been so much more than just best friends, and I want us to claim that, live it.”

He stops. Looks at Jisung, sees the expression on his face. “Is this too much Sungie? Did I say something wrong?”

“What? NO! Everything you’ve said has been perfect, Min! I’m just…I don’t even know how to explain what I’m feeling right now. I didn’t know that you felt so strongly about me. It, well it changes things for me. A lot of things. I mean, I’ve been half in love with you for years.” He looks up, slaps his hand over his mouth, eyes wide, cheeks red. “Fuck.” 

“You have? Really, Sungie? With me?” He walks over to Jisung, eyes on his. “I am so dumb. How did I not see it?”

Jisung nods. “Yeah, really, Min. You can ask Felix. He’s known just about as long as I have.”

“Why didn’t you say anything, baby?”

“Same reason you talked about - what if you didn’t feel the same? What if it ruined what we have? I didn’t want to ruin us with feelings. And…” He looks at the floor, “I’m not very confident about myself. I know I’m not ugly and I have a good body and a great ass, but I’m not sexy and powerful like you. I didn’t know if I could take it if you didn’t want me the same way I wanted you. So I tried to ignore the feelings, tried going out with other people, tried doing stuff with other people, but I never could get very far with that. So I just stopped. Accepted what I had, taught myself to be happy with it. And for the most part I have been. Just not the physical part.” He shrugs his shoulders, as if to wipe the words away. 

“Han Jisung. Look at me.” He doesn’t continue until Jisung’s eyes are staring into his. “You are one of the sexiest people I know. Have you seen yourself? Holy shit, baby. You’re so beautiful. I’m going to spend so much time showing you how sexy and powerful you are, if you’ll let me.” 

Jisung gives him a shy smile, his cheeks a beautiful shade of pink.

“I need to tell you something, explain something about myself, before we go any further. Can you look at me again, please?”

Jisung does.

“I am a possessive, jealous fucker, Sungie. If you agree to be in a relationship like this with me, you’re mine. There’s nobody else, okay? For either of us. Is that something you can handle? I need you to think about this before you agree to anything. I’m already 100% committed to you - you know how I am. Once I decide, it’s done. But you are not required to be in a romantic relationship with me if you don’t want to be. We can go back to being everything we’ve always been, if that’s what you want. I need you to really think about this.”

Jisung stares at him, letting the ramifications of his statement sink in. Minho doesn’t know that this is exactly what Jisung wants, has wanted. He doesn’t feel like he can give Minho his commitment yet, not until he’s talked to him about catdad and streaming. He’s nervous about how that conversation will go, but it has to be done. Jisung is willing to give them up, having heard Min’s answers so far. 

“I hear you, Minho. I will give it the appropriate amount of thought, don’t worry.” 

“Once I started thinking about you differently, I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want to stop. I feel like…like, I don’t know, I’m at peace? I don’t know how to explain it. It just feels right. You just feel right. Is that okay?”

“Min, that’s more than okay.”

“You wanted to know what Chan said to me that upset me, and made me do the stupid shit with Ido that I did. We were talking about whether you and I were just horny and available to each other. Then Chan suggested that maybe you had someone you could go to for, uh, physical type stuff, then he asked me how that made me feel. I told him it made me physically ill to think of you doing that with someone else. Then he asked what if it were me you were doing that with. I told him I wanted that but I didn’t know if I could have it. I was kind of freaking out, but instead of talking to Chan about it, I left abruptly and called Ido. That’s the guy you saw when I was standing in the bathroom line at the club that night. I got scared, Bug. Scared that if I did this stuff with you that it would ruin us. That I wouldn’t be good enough because I’m so bad at feelings. All the shit in my head got so loud. I did the wrong thing. If you want to know what we did, I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you anything you want to know. I’ll lead with this, though - we did not have sex. When you texted saying that you’d see me the next day, with the sad face, everything that was happening stopped immediately. I was ashamed of myself. I knew I was doing the wrong thing and I did it anyway. But I stopped and came home. I didn’t know what I’d be walking into or whether you’d forgive me, but I knew I couldn’t continue with what I was doing with Ido. Everything he did, Bug, I imagined it was you. God, I’m so stupid. And I’m sorry. Then the next morning when you saw the marks…I wanted to cry. Called myself a whore. Berated myself for hours. How could I do that to you? I know I’m an asshole, but to do that to you. I don’t know if I can forgive myself for hurting you like that.”

“I really wanted to, and still do to some extent, make excuses for you, like we weren’t exclusive, or we weren’t anything yet, but you did hurt me, Min. A lot. I questioned myself so much. Like am I not good enough, not pretty enough, did I read it all wrong? I talked to Felix and he kind of explained why he thought you did it, and hearing you talk about it now, I think he was right. He basically said what you said. Also, I appreciate you offering to tell me what happened between you and Ido, but I don’t think I need to know. I’m choosing to trust what you’re telling me.”

Minho is near tears after hearing how hurt Jisung was. He already knew, but hearing it put so bluntly is almost too much. But he has more to say, so he continues: “The last thing you wanted to know was why I went to Ido instead of you. Bottom line, I was scared. And drunk. And horny. And probably a million other feelings that I couldn’t, and probably still can’t, identify. Sex is easy, feelings aren’t. And you’re so fucking important. What if I screwed it up with you? If I screw it up with Ido, ok, that’s just sex. But if I screw it up with you? Could I recover from that? I don’t think so. This whole thing has made me see how important it is to be able to identify feelings and work through them, talk about them, all that. The other day when you helped me through whatever I was feeling by giving me words, that was so valuable to me. It showed me that feelings don’t have to be scary. They can be worked through. I even tried to think about why I am the way I am with dealing with my feelings, but decided that it doesn’t really matter why. Only what I do. So again, Sungie, I’m so grateful that you gave me another chance with you.”

“Min, I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you did all this work for me…to answer the questions I asked you, because I’m important to you. This important to you. Thank you, babe. Thank you for doing this.” He takes a deep breath. “Now I’m going to ask you to sit and listen to what I have to say. There are a few things you don’t know about me that I’d like to tell you, and I’d like you to give me the space to tell you everything before you react. Can you do that?”

Minho has an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach, but this is Jisung asking him. He can do it for him. “Yes. I can do that. But before you say anything, can you come here? I want to hold you. I need to hold you, baby.”

Jisung goes over to him and puts his head on Min’s chest as Minho throws his arms around him. In his ear he whispers, “but if it’s about piercings or streaming, I already know.” 

Jisung takes in a startled breath, eyes wild and confused, head coming off Minho so fast he gets dizzy. “What did you say?”

Minho chuckles softly. “I said that if it’s about piercings or streaming, I already know. It’s a weird story, but I know about that stuff, and have for a couple days. I’ve been wanting to talk to you about it, but the time never really presented itself. I decided not to watch your streams, just so you know. When I see your pretty body, I want it to be because you wanted to show it to me on your own, not because I saw it on a video. And it felt invasive to see something I don’t think you intended for me to see.”

Jisung’s face is white as a sheet. His hands are shaking. He feels sick. And embarrassed. “Are you mad at me? Disgusted with me? Still want to be with me, now that you know?” His voice is small.

“Baby. I am not mad or disgusted. I still want to be with you, of course I do. I want to know why you stream, try to understand that part of it. My opinion of you has not changed, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Minho, for the record, I’m really sorry I lied. I should have just told you that first night, but I was so scared that you’d be disgusted with me for doing what I was doing - letting people see my body who don’t even know me - that you wouldn’t want anything to do with me. Then later, when I’d decided to talk to you, albeit lying again, I walked into your room that night and you were…well, uh, I heard you say my name in the shower. I should have told you, but I didn’t know how. And I was so confused, because I couldn’t understand why you were saying my name. I didn’t think you saw me like that, but then I heard you. Anyway, I’m sorry.”

“Sungie, it’s okay. We’ve both done things. It’s what we do now that matters, right? And really? You heard me that night? Oops.” He smiles. “It was kinda hot, huh?”

Jisung slaps Min’s shoulder, smile returning to his face. “Okay, yeah, it was. I’ve been dying to know what you were thinking about.”

Min looks at him, “I was doing so well in the shower, not thinking about you, then my brain was all “good job not thinking about Sungie,” then I started thinking about you. On your knees, looking up at me. Then taking me into your mouth. Coming in your mouth.” Jisung’s lips are parted, eyes wide, breath coming faster. “So yeah, that’s what I was thinking about.” 

“And are you thinking about it now, Minho?” Jisung whispers.

“Yes,” he whispers back. “I want you so bad, Sungie. You have no idea. I want you to grab my hand and pull me into your room. I want to sit you down on the bed, stand between your legs and kiss you until our lips are numb, then kiss you some more. I want to undress you piece by piece and map your body with my mouth.” He’s out of breath, chest heaving. “I want to be your first, Jisung. I need to be your first, baby.” His words are urgent, desperate. 

“Hey, you will be. We’re here, together. We know what we want. I want that, too. I think that’s why I’ve not been able to do anything with anyone else. It wasn’t you. It wasn’t right because it wasn’t you.”

Minho takes a sharp inhale. “Really, Jisung? You’ve waited…for me?” 

He nods. “Yeah, Kitty, I think I have.”

Minho doesn’t know what to say. Doesn’t know how to tell Jisung what that means to him. He’s always been better at showing than telling. He grabs Sungie by the shoulders, brings him close and kisses him. Gently. So gently, It’s more confession than kiss. 

They both step away after a moment. 

“Min, I want to tell you why I stream, if you really want to know.”

“I do want to know. I think I’ll struggle with it if I don’t know. If it’s something you want to continue doing, I will support you. Total transparency? I think it will be hard for me because I want you all to myself. Possessive and jealous, remember? But for you, I would try, baby, especially if it’s something you need.”

Hearing what Min said, Jisung goes still. “You’d do that for me, jagiya? Really?”

“I’d try, Sungie. Yeah.”

“Thank you,” Jisung says quietly. “That…that means more than you can know.” 

He pulls in a quiet, trembling breath, then speaks. “I-I guess I needed validation that I was desirable. That I could be good at sex, even if it was just with myself, showing other people. I’ve had a few experiences with other people, but never actual sex.” He stops, looks at Minho to gauge his reaction to what he’s saying. “Is that something you want to know, Min? The details of my few pitiful tries at this?” He’s embarrassed, but unsure why. He knows Minho wouldn’t judge him, but it still feels uncomfortable to admit that he’s so inexperienced. 

“Is it something you want to share with me, Sungie?” Minho says softly, making sure Jisung knows it’s his decision to tell or not. “If you want to tell me I want to hear. But it’s not something I have to know. Not right now or ever.”

“I kind of want to, but maybe I won’t share a lot of details.” 

“Okay, baby. I’m listening.”

“I want to go sit on the couch while we talk.” They get situated on the couch, both turned toward one another, legs touching.

“I’ve only been with other people a few times. I tried being with girls, but didn’t like it. I definitely like boys. I…I don’t know what to say. I was exploring, I guess? I wanted to know what it felt like for someone else to touch me. Find out what I like. I found out that I like uh, dirty talk. And I like being praised. And I like pain. The last time I was with another person was over a year ago. The goal was to have sex, but he couldn’t even get a finger in me to try to open me up, so we gave up. The guy was really nice about it, but it wasn’t a great experience. And it wasn’t who I wanted. I wanted it to be you. And I think that’s why nothing was ever right, never worked. I know that’s not how it was for you, but that’s how it was for me. I honestly tried not to think about whether you had sex with other people. Intellectually I knew you did, but until the other day, there was never any real evidence for me to see, so it was easy to put it to the side. I don’t know why I’m saying this. It doesn’t matter now.”

“Anyway,” he continues, wry smile on his face, “trying to be with people and it not working out so well took a toll on me. So I sought out a safe way for me to explore things on my own, and camming was it. I haven’t been doing it for very long, like a month or so, but people like what I do. And they give me what I need. It’s nice to be wanted, to be told I’m pretty. All that. I mean, the money isn’t bad either, but that’s the least of the reasons why I do it.”

“I hadn’t even thought of the money part. You don’t really need it, though, right?”

“No, I don’t. It’s just a nice little bonus. I’ve also got a few people who genuinely care about me. They come to every stream, ask how I am, talk to me, etc. So it’s also become a way for me to interact with people I wouldn’t otherwise. And I get to try out wearing stuff I wouldn’t usually wear, like skirts. I was going to try out some other toys, but I never got around to purchasing them. Who knows if I’d even be able to get them in…I got one finger in the other day, and a small butt plug from a kit.” 

“You…you have a butt plug, Sungie?” Minho’s mind is going crazy trying to come up with images of him with a plug in. 

“Uh, actually I have 3? One of my subscribers sent me a bunch of stuff the other day. That’s, uh, something else I guess I need to talk to you about. Fuck.”

Minho looks at Jisung, eyebrow raised. “What do you mean? I feel…uh, anxious, I think. Is it bad?”

“I don’t know. He and I have been talking a lot lately, via private messages. He’s so nice and caring. Always donates and asks me to do things instead of telling me, praises me. He’s just really nice. Um, last night, I was so horny because of something he’d told me. It was a fantasy he had about me and him. It was sweet, nothing gross. He’s always so respectful of me. I like that about him. I’d asked him if we could get to know each other, just talk, and he said yes, so we did that. He’d told me a day or so ago that if I wanted to know his more private thoughts about me, he’d tell me, but only if I asked. So I asked. I was so confused with what was going on, or not going on, between you and I. I wanted something easy. Then last night I realized that I was doing the wrong thing, just like you had, and I knew I needed to tell you. I just didn’t know how. Are you mad at me, Min?”

“I don’t think I’m mad, Sungie. I think I want to draw a line and say that anything that happened before now is the past. Stuff that doesn’t matter now. Anything that happens from this point forward matters. I mean, if you want to be together, that is. Is that something you want?”

“Really? You can just do that?”

“I mean, I’m going to try. I’m honestly jealous as fuck right now, Sungie. What I really want is to tell you that you can’t talk to that guy anymore, can’t stream anymore, none of it. But that’s not the right way to handle this. I don’t own you. You haven’t even agreed to be with me. But even if you had, I know that I have no right to ask you to stop anything.” 

Jisung looks down, finds a loose thread to pick at. “Is it fucked up if I want you to tell me that? That I want you to be jealous of an internet guy I’ve never actually met? That’s pretty screwed up of me, isn’t it.” He looks up at Min through his lashes, not sure whether to be hopeful or ashamed of how he feels.

What he sees shocks him. 

“Minho?”

“Jisung,” voice dark, low, rough, “it is taking everything I have right now not to lay you down on this couch and mark you, make you mine. Show every fucking person who has eyes that you belong to me and only me.”

He takes a trembling breath, trying to calm himself.

“I don’t know if it’s fucked up or not, Jisung, but it’s already true. I’m already that jealous.”

Jisung’s breath catches. He leans in, toward Minho. “You’re serious right now, aren’t you.”

“Deadly.”

“I want that, Minho. I’m looking in your eyes and telling you with certainty that what you are saying is exactly what I want. I want to be yours. I want you to mark me. I want everyone to know I belong to you.”

“But rationally, realistically, I want to put your mind at ease. I’m not going to do anything with anyone who isn’t you right now. We can discuss what’s right for us going forward, but right now, it’s you I want. I know that. I think you are going to give me what I need and I won’t have any reason to find it elsewhere. Does that work, at least until we can talk about it again?”

Minho nods. “Sungie. I…I…”

“What baby?”

“I need you to touch me. Please.” The last word comes out as a whimper. 

Jisung puts his hands on Minho’s face. “What kind of touch do you need? I’ll give you whatever you need.”

“I’m not exactly sure. Maybe just snuggling. Today has been…a lot.”

“Come with me,” Sungie says, as they walk to his bedroom. “How about we lay in bed for a bit, then finish talking?”

“Okay.”

Minho needs more than he thought - he needs skin. He takes his shirt off. “Are you comfortable like this together,” he asks. He looks to see Jisung taking him in, mouth parted, breath hitching. 

“Y - yes.” He slips off his own shirt and crawls into the bed after Minho. This isn’t about sex. It’s about connection. Minho reaches his arm out to gather Jisung to him. He comes willingly, easily, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Because it is. 

They lay there, cuddled together, enjoying the quiet press of body against body. A light blanket thrown over them. Each lost in his own thoughts. Peaceful. Right. Minho marvels that he completely missed what has been right in front of him for literal years. His best friend. His soul mate. His…love. Maybe he’ll keep that last part to himself for a little bit. But the tiny seed has been planted, and he’s going to nurture it within himself until it’s ready to be shared. Not that he thinks Sungie would shy away from it. No, he’d embrace it just like he embraces all his feelings. But it’s just a lot right now. 

“Jagiya? Can you turn your back to me? I want to spoon you.” Jisung giggles, but does what Minho asks. “That song you were singing yesterday. What is it? It was beautiful.” 

Jisung turns his head toward Minho. “It’s a song I wrote about you. About how I feel,” he says a little shyly, dipping his head.

“Can I hear it?”

“Not yet, Min. It’s too…too much for now. We’re too new and it’s a lot. I will share it with you soon, though.”

“Okay. Are you comfortable telling me what it’s called, baby?”

“Volcano.”

They lay there together, skin to skin, Minho drawing shapes into Jisung’s arm with his fingers, Jisung reveling in the warmth of the contact. 

“Minho,” he whispers. 

“What’s up, jagiya,” he whispers back.

“Take me on a date tonight? A real one.”

“Anything for you, baby. Where do you want to go?”

“Somewhere only your name can get us a reservation. Somewhere exclusive. Special.”

“Okay. I’ll make a call.”

“Jisung.”

“Yes, jagi?”

“Will you be my boyfriend?”

Jisung freezes. Feels his face split in a grin so radiant he’s surprised the room hasn’t lit up. He turns to face Minho. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I know you well enough to be your boyfriend, sir.”

Jisung knows he’s hit a nerve when he looks at Minho’s face. When he chokes on air. “S-sir, Sungie?” 

Jisung raises an eyebrow, knowing exactly how Minho took the phrase. Exactly how he meant it. 

“Jisung, I’ve warned you about the fucking teasing,” his voice low and rough with want. 

“What makes you think I was teasing, Minho? I think you and I have some discussing to do. Negotiating, if you will. I’m looking forward to this conversation, actually.” Jisung’s face lights up with excitement, thinking about it. He can’t wait.

“What are you grinning about, jagiya?” 

“I don’t know, I guess I’m looking forward to talking about sex with you, jagi.” His ears are burning, just like his cheeks. “It’s something I really want to talk about.” More choking, more coughing from beside him. 

“Are you trying to kill me, Bug?”

“No, just trying to get you thinking about my massive dong. You want it, right, Kitty?” He peers over to see the look on Min’s face.

“Wha-what do you mean but “want it?” Jisung? You know I top, right?” He blinks. “I mean, I guess if you wanted to try topping, I can switch, but it’s not my preferred position.” 

“I’m pretty sure I’m a bottom, baby. I was just fucking with you. But I want to try everything with you. So don’t get too comfortable.” He eyes Minho up and down, grin on his face. Then laughs. “Don’t look so concerned! Let’s get through one, uh…one sex.” He laughs. “Whatever you call it. One session. There it is!” Jisung truly is excited to get to try all the things he’s imagined. And to get to do it with Minho is a dream come true.

“Breathe, Minho. It’s all good. I’m sorry I got you out of sorts about this!” Jisung is still giggling about it, and Minho is finally smiling. 

“Alright, you little shit. I’m going to make our date reservations. Anywhere else you want to go other than dinner?”

“Nope, I want to eat then come back home and spend time together. Doing whatever we want to do. I’m sure you’ll know exactly what to do after dinner. Right, baby?” He leers at Minho, moving his eyebrows up and down. “Yes?”

“Jisung,” Minho says in warning. 

“Yes?” Jisung has an innocent look on his face.

“Go get ready for our date before we don’t make it out of this apartment.”

“Mmmmm. Okay.” He heads to his bathroom while Minho lays in the bed for a few seconds longer, still unable to believe how lucky he is. 

“Oh, Min? One more thing.” He grins. “Yes.”

 

The doorbell rings. Jisung yells out, “Babe, can you get that? It’s for me. DO NOT OPEN IT!” 

“Yep, no problem,” he yells back. He grabs the package and puts it on Jisung’s bed. He’s curious what it is, but he can wait to see. He walks to his room to get ready for their date.

Chapter 31: 31 - I Don't Wanna Wait, I Don't Wanna Waste A Night

Summary:

Min and Jisung go on a date. Min shares how he found out about the streaming and the piercings. They talk about their theories on who 3catdad is. Things get very steamy.

Chapter title from Wasted Nights by ONE OK ROCK.

Jisung finishes getting ready for their date. “Min! Where are you?” 

“I’m in the living room, sitting on the couch, waiting for your slow ass!” Jisung can hear the teasing in Min’s voice.

Jisung walks out. They look at each other. Smile. At the same time: “Hyung, you look amazing!”

“Baby, you look beautiful.” 

Jisung is dressed in a suit of sorts: black leather cropped jacket with a sheer black shirt beneath it, tucked into very well fitted black leather pants that show off every curve the man has, front and back. Black boots with silver accents that match his belt buckle, rings and earrings. He’s changed his visible body piercings to matte black. His hair is styled back, away from his face, with pieces coming to rest above his eyebrows. His makeup is flawless, a natural look with silver shimmer at the inside corners of his eyes and tiny rhinestones following the natural curve of one of his eyebrows. He’s stunning. Underneath his clothes he has a couple of surprises for Minho to find later…see-through underwear with flowers in burnout velvet on them, the small plug in, which he’ll be sure to mention to Minho during dinner, and he doesn’t think Minho knows about his other piercings, so those will also be a surprise.

Minho is wearing a black double breasted jacket with no shirt. Matching black pants with black leather Chelsea boots. He chose glasses with thick black frames, hair styled up on one side, down in his face on the other. His eyes are accented with a thin black line on his top lid, no other makeup necessary. He’s also wearing accessories, with his rings and studs being set in silver. For Jisung to take off him later, he‘s chosen a pair of Aubade Paris sheer boxers with black linework. They look and feel like a dream.

“We look good, jagiya! I’m ready to go.” Jisung is excited to go on their date, smiling his beautiful heart shaped smile as they walk out the door, down to Minho’s car. Minho opens the car door for him, then jogs around to the driver’s side and gets in. Both put their seat belts on, then Jisung watches as Minho grips the gear shifter with one hand and the steering wheel with the other. “Sexy,” he thinks. Except he accidentally says it out loud, making Minho look at him sharply. “What?”

“You’re sexy when you drive, Min.” Sungie grins over at him. “One handed driving is hot, babe. I don’t make the rules.” He shrugs. Minho tries not to let it go to his head.

They drive to the restaurant in silence. Nothing is wrong, there’s just not much to say, both lost in their own thoughts. Music seems too much right now. The drive is short, and Minho pulls into the valet area. He gets out, opens the door for Jisung, then hands the key off. They’re both smiling, arm in arm. Happy. Minho guides Sungie to the host, who takes his name, finds their reservation and takes them to their table. 

Joy lights their faces, unhidden and undeniable. 

They get to their table and Minho helps Jisung into his seat, then sits down across from him. They stare at each other for a moment, then break into smiles when they realize what they’re doing. 

“This feels surreal, doesn’t it,” Jisung asks softly. “That we’re here, together, doing this. Actually doing this. Boyfriends, on a date!” He squirms in his seat from excitement.

“It does, baby,” Minho returns, soft smile playing over his lips. He reaches across the table to take Jisung’s hand. “I’m so happy right now, Bug. You make me so happy.”

Jisung’s face lights up at Min’s words. He looks like he’s going to vibrate out of his seat, he’s so happy. He takes a calming breath, willing himself to relax a bit.

The waiter comes by, handing them menus and asking for their drink order. Jisung asks for a glass of sweet wine while Minho orders a whiskey. Jisung looks across at Minho, takes him in. “Hey, my eyes are up here,” Minho quips. Jisung giggles, eyes finding Min’s. “I can’t help it. I get to look at you now. I don’t have to hide it.” Minho straightens up, smooths his jacket down, possibly pulling it down a little more than needed, yanno, to get the lines right. Sungie’s eyes follow, getting stuck exactly where Minho planned. “He’s so beautiful,” Minho thinks to himself. “I’m so lucky.”

The waiter comes back and Min orders for both of them. After he leaves Jisung asks about how Minho knew about the streaming and his piercings. “I saw your belly piercing the other day, when you came out to the living room, ready to go to the club, I just didn’t realize what it was. Then when we danced that night, I knew because I felt it. I guessed at your nipple piercings, though. You had them covered at the times I saw you shirtless, so I just figured you didn’t want anyone to know, or didn’t want me to know. I’m not sure. But I can see them now, baby.” He reaches across the table to put his finger on one of them through Sungie’s shirt, moving it slightly. “Very, very sexy.” Their eyes meet. “Can I play with them later, baby? Please?” Jisung’s swallow is audible. He gives a tiny nod. 

“Min,” he tries. Clears his throat. “Min. There are, um, a few, uh, other things you’re going to find later, too,” voice rough, dropping into something darker. 

“Like what, baby?” Jisung’s eyes widen, he swallows again, lips parted, glossy, like he’s just licked them. He squirms a little in his seat. 

“I have a plug in right now.” 

Minho groans, eyes darkening. 

“Jisung,” he moans quietly, “what are you doing to me, baby?” He grabs Jisung’s hand across the table, “Let’s go.” 

“Wh-where?” 

“To the bathroom for a minute.” 

Jisung laughs, full and vibrant, understanding coloring his tone. “Okay, Min. For a minute.” They walk with purpose to the elegant bathroom, locking it after themselves, Jisung’s hand still in Minho’s. He uses his grip to direct Jisung against the door while he uses his other hand to open the buttons on his own jacket. The halves split open revealing his smooth chest. He cages Jisung within his arms, bringing their faces together, lips against lips. 

“Please, put your hands on me. Touch me, Sungie.” He does. Tracing over Min’s pecs softly, reverently. 

“You’re beautiful, Minho,” he says as he looks directly into his eyes. Minho licks into his mouth, needing to be inside Jisung in some way. 

“More, please,” he murmurs, the touch not quite enough. Jisung lays his hands flat over Min’s abs, touching, shaping. He feels Min’s hands moving across his back, one going lower, over his ass, then back up. His shirt is being pulled out, a hand back down. 

“OH…Min,” he gasps out suddenly, his upper body sagging into Minho. It happens again. 

“Minho, fuck. What are you doing to me, babe?” He echoes Minho’s words. 

Minho couldn’t get the image of that plug out of his head, needed to feel it, even if he can’t see it now. Needed to make Sungie feel…”Does it feel good, Sungie? When I do this?” He runs his fingers down the fullness of Jisung’s ass, down, down, until he feels the plug. He taps on it, moving it slightly. Jisung freezes against him, thighs clamping together, sharp intake of breath. 

“Min.” His face is pressed against Minho’s bare chest. He looks up. Gathers his last semblance of control. 

“You…we…have to stop. I won’t be able to walk out of here for at least 10 minutes if you don’t stop right now.” It comes out whinier than he anticipated, which of course Minho loves. 

“Baby, you’re whining.” That earns him a little slap and a laugh. “I love it. Such a turn on. Will you whine for me later, sexy?” He asks earnestly. 

“I’ll do anything you want later, jagi.” He grins. 

“I want you so bad. Why did we go out again?” Jisung asks this seriously, forgetting he’s the one who wanted to go out.

“All you, baby. I was happy to stay in and play with you, but you wanted to go on a date with me for some reason,” he teases. He moves back, putting space between them. Hopes it will help them both calm down. They both take a deep breath, then put their clothes back to rights. 

Jisung looks at Min, something dark and precious in his eyes. “Let’s hurry. I want dessert.” 

They go back to their table, hand in hand, smiling. But it’s darker, tinged with desire and the knowledge of what awaits them. 

“Okay, tell me how you found out about the streaming.” 

“Well, one, I never really bought your cover story when I walked in on you. It just didn’t feel right to me, so that was always in the back of my head. You’re kind of a shitty liar, baby.” He grins at Jisung.

“Yeah, I know.” His cheeks flush as he dips his head in embarrassment. “I was so caught off guard. I had to stop the whole stream,” he laughs, remembering. “That was the day I was wearing a quokka mask, and I didn’t know where I had put it, so I hoped you hadn’t seen it. How would I have explained that to you?” 

Jisung sits up straighter, as if remembering something. “Min. I don’t know if I ever properly thanked you for helping me through that panic attack. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t done what you did. So thank you.” His eyes are shiny. “I’m sorry I flinched away from you, too. I - I just felt so bad lying to you, and there you were helping me. I felt shitty.” He looks down at the table, the bad feelings welling up in him.

“I will help you any time you need it, Sungie. You know that, right?” He nods. 

“It was the first day I met up with Chan, to talk about you. It was this past Wednesday, the 5th. The day I almost fucked everything up, actually. I was talking about you having that magazine with my face on the cover, and we thought you were, uh, yanno, to it. Well, Chan did. I didn’t want to put any meaning to why you had it. I mean, maybe you were just looking at it? I don’t know. Actually, no, it was the day before that, when you took a nap. I, uh, came into your room.”

He puts his hands up as if to say “wait!” 

“I knocked and listened and you didn’t answer, so I came in. You were rolled up in your blankets like a little burrito, and I came over and fixed them. When I turned around, I saw what you’d been looking on online.” 

He looks around and says very quietly, “The, uh, tentacle thing?” His ears are red. 

A startled laugh escapes him. “You saw that?” He keeps laughing, kind of unable to stop now that he sees Min’s ears, and how quiet he’s being. “I never bought it…I probably wouldn’t have been able to get it in anyway. Maybe after tonight…” he looks Min square in the face and is faced with huge eyes and a slack mouth. 

“Minho? You in there?” 

“Jesus fuck, Sungie. Why do you keep doing that?” He pins him with his gaze. “Be a good boy for me, baby, and stop saying shit like that.” 

He hears Jisung’s breath hitch. Sees the flush appear high on his cheeks. “No! No, I - I’m good.” 

Minho reaches across the table and cups Jisung’s soft cheek. “You are.” 

He clears his throat. 

“So when I looked at the monitor, the light must have been just right because it was reflecting off something near it. I went and checked it out. It was a small camera, nestled in with all the shit on your desk. I thought it was odd, since most people would have a webcam that sits on top of their monitor if they need to have a zoom meeting, not the type of camera you had. You hadn’t said anything about like Twitch streaming or anything, which is the only thing I could think you’d use that type of camera for. I guess I looked around, not like I was looking through your room, just that I swung my head around and looked up. Saw that camera. Then I wondered if there was another one,” he shrugs, “so I looked quickly and found it off to the side. I still had no idea why you had the cameras, and I figured if you’d wanted me to know you would have told me. I decided to just let it go. Your business, not mine.”

He continues: “You were still sleeping when I left to go do some errands. I left you that note and made japchae.” 

“Right, I remember,” Jisung says, nodding his head.

“I got home and asked you to get the snacks ready and you had bows in your hair. I asked you about them and you said something about them being Hyunjin’s, that he had left them here. It struck me as odd, but again, I wasn’t going to say anything, so I let that go, too.” 

“Yeah, you were acting weird when you got home. I wasn’t sure what to make of it. What was that about?”

“I’m not sure. I had been feeling off since the day I realized that I had feelings for you, and they were making me uncomfortable because feelings. I think that’s what that was.”

“Then when I sat down next to you to watch Bleach, you shivered. I tried to ignore it. But I definitely noticed it. It’s not something you’d ever done before, so it was something new. Then I asked you if you wanted to go running and you went to change. That’s when I started taking notes on my phone.”

“Ah! I wondered what you were doing all those times you were sitting on the couch, scrolling or typing, but then when I came out you’d look at me and lock your phone! It was so weird! I was actually gearing myself up to ask you about it.”

“So the reason I needed to change after we watched Bleach? This is kind of embarrassing. I had streamed while you were gone. That was the day I finally got a finger in and had probably the best orgasm of my life. Thinking about you, of course, but that’s why I had those bows in. Also, when I got dressed after, I didn’t think we’d be doing anything, so I put my sweats on with no underwear and that giant t-shirt that covers me to my knees. When you asked me to go running I couldn’t go in what I was wearing. I, uh, don’t like the way it feels without underwear, and I didn’t want to get a heat rash or chafe or whatever.” He laughs at himself. “I’d worn a skirt while I was streaming and it felt really good, and I remembered that I had bought that cute running skirt a while ago but hadn’t ever worn it. I knew you’d be there if anyone said anything about it, and that you’d never let anything happen to me, so I decided to wear it. It was a good move, wasn’t it?” His eyes are heated as he looks at Minho, thinking about that skirt.

“Fuck, baby, yes, that was a good decision. I stayed behind you that night because of that skirt. I was having an internal debate about whether I wanted to see you in the skirt with no underwear or no skirt and just those sexy underwear. Mmmm…damn you have the best ass. Are you wearing those underwear, baby?”

“MINHO!” he whisper-yells. “No! Don’t ask me that at the dinner table.” 

“Sungie, you are so fucking weird. You can talk about tentacles but not what underwear you’re wearing?” He laughs. “Okay, I won’t ask. I’ll just find out later.” He gives him a lecherous look.

“Anyway, yeah, I kept noting down all the out of character things you were doing and trying to come to a conclusion as to what was going on with you.”

“Later, after we got back from running, you came to the gym and I thought you broke. You just stared at me. What were you thinking about, anyway?”

He looks at Min like he’s stupid. “Have you seen yourself? You had on a tank top that was like a second skin and those fucking tiny shorts that you know I like because they show off your thighs. And you were lifting heavy. And, and…you…yeah. I thought that all we had to do was lift the back of the bench up and I could ride you and kiss you at the same time. Then I squeaked and left before I did something worse. Which I did, and you noticed. I saw you watching my shirt when I stretched, and also when you looked up my skirt.”

“You didn’t make it hard, baby. It was a nice show.” 

“Yeah, Min, you were hard. It was a nice show.” He raises an eyebrow as if to dare Minho to say something. He just grins back at him, gleam in his eyes.

“Then I talked to Chan that next day.”

“Right, and I talked to Felix.”

“What did Felix make of the whole thing?”

“Oh, he thought you wanted to fuck me. Those were his words.”

“He wasn’t wrong.” Minho winks, badly, at Jisung. 

“Mmmm…Felix has known about the streaming since the beginning. Did you know that already?”

“No, but that makes sense. You tell Felix everything. And he’s supportive of pretty much anything, understanding innately what people need and why. But it also makes sense because he and Chan talk a lot. I know they’ve talked about us.”

“Yeah, Fifi mentioned that he’d talked to Chan, but that Chan refused to tell him everything.”

“That’s good to hear. I swore him to secrecy the first time, especially from telling Binnie, fucking gossip that he is. But the second time I told him he could talk to you and Felix too.”

“Bug…that night at the bar, when you let me touch you while we were dancing. I think that will be one of the top nights of my entire life. You were so gorgeous, and all those noises you kept making for me…” he shivers, “I can’t wait to hear them again.” 

Jisung wiggles in his seat, excited. “I can’t wait to make them again.” 

Minho again thinks to himself how lucky he is that this all worked out. He doesn’t know how it happened, doesn’t want to look too closely at it. He’s just happy he’s here with his Sungie, in the relationship they both want. 

“Soooo…uh, here’s how I got confirmation about your streaming. You can’t be mad, okay? We were all drinking.” He checks Jisung’s reaction, sees nothing but acceptance and openness. “I couldn’t think of anything else that you’d be doing given the information I’d already gathered, so I had pretty much decided by that point that you were streaming. But that night at the club, um, I guess Hyunjin knows about it too, and he asked me if I knew while you were talking to Felix about whatever.” 

Jisung sputters, laughing at the entire situation. “Hyunjin asked you? What the fuck? How did he even know? I wonder if Felix told him. Oh, this is interesting. Makes me wonder now about that guy, 3catdad. I’m not sure I even want to know at this point. Maybe he’s a stranger, maybe he’s Felix. Or even Hyunjin. Ew, I hope it’s not Hyunjin, actually. If he is, he’s seen my ass with a plug in it.” 

Minho chokes. Actually physically chokes. “He WHAT?” Jisung gets up to lightly hit him on the back to help him stop choking. 

“Um, well, I told you he was a really nice guy and I felt very comfortable with him. He’d sent me a bunch of stuff and I was into it, and feeling very confused about you, remember? So I sent him pictures of me in the stuff he sent me, a few of those pictures being the plug, uh, inside me. Please don’t be mad.” He makes his eyes big and pouts his pretty mouth, knowing Min can never refuse him when he makes this face. “Please, Kitty? It was before, right?”

“I’m not mad, baby,” Minho says, after he stops choking and has mopped the associated tears from his face. “You’re right, I did say there’s a line, and that’s on the before side. But no, I was just surprised that my little Sungie sent naughty pictures. Are you going to send some to me, my sexy boy?” Jisung is still standing next to Minho. 

Jisung can see that Minho is very interested in this subject…He uses his position to look into Minho’s eyes, skimming his fingers lightly down his chest. “I’d like to give you some, with my face in them. None of the ones I ever sent had my face. I couldn’t. I didn’t want anyone to know my identity. Could you imagine Chan finding out? Oh my fucking god. He’d never be able to look at me again.” They both dissolve into peals of laughter, tears tracing down their faces. People start to look at them, they’re being so loud. “No, but for real, Minho,” Jisung wheezes out, “what if catdad is Chan?” They look at each other and burst out laughing again. “Wait! Holy Christ. In the fantasy, catdad mentioned my friend who was at a club with me, and he specifically said he was blond and had freckles. I mentioned Lixie to him by name, but I never told him what Lix looks like! That’s way too specific to not be someone I know, right? And Felix did kind of discourage me from talking to catdad. We’re definitely talking to them! One of them knows something.” Minho has a passing thought that Chan did have a weird look on his face when he talked to him last. Maybe that’s why? He can’t continue that line of thought right now. He’s sure they’ll come back to this…in a couple days. 

Minho suddenly gets serious. “Baby. Can I buy things for you to wear? Things I want to see you in?” Jisung looks at him, fascination etched across his face. “Like what? What do you want to see me in, Minho?” His hand is still playing down Minho’s chest, moving slowly. He goes to sit back in his seat. “Tell me,” he says, eyes serious. “I want to know.”

“Skirts, lingerie…I don’t know, Sungie. Every time I think of an outfit I’d like to see you in, something else comes to mind immediately. I think you’re going to have a lot of things to wear, baby. What do you think?” 

“I think it sounds fun, and I’d love it if you’d buy things for me that you want to see me in. I want to wear them for you.”

“Sungie,” Minho says, voice pitched low, no more than a murmur, “you said you wanted to talk about sex with me?”

“I do. Don’t we need to before we, uh…yanno, do it?”

“I mean, that’s probably a good conversation to have, yes. Is there something you want to know, or what did you want to talk about specifically?”

“Actually, I’m not sure this is the right place to have this conversation.” Sungie looks around, sees so many people, so many potential ears to hear them. “Are you done eating?”

“Yep, I’ll get the check and we can leave.” He tries to school his expression, but the excitement wins out. 

As they’re walking out of the restaurant, Jisung feels a familiar weight sliding down his back, over his ass. He smiles. Moves closer to Min and does the same. He giggles a little. 

When they get back to the car, Minho goes to open the door for Jisung, but he has other plans. Instead, he pushes Min against the car and snakes his hands under his jacket, skimming over all the smooth skin. He leans in for a kiss, Minho meeting him half way. Self control is hard. Neither of them has any right now. The kiss escalates, Minho’s hands shaping, squeezing Jisung’s ass. Jisung’s fingertips pinching over Minho’s exposed skin. Soon Jisung finds his lips have moved down to Min’s chest, licking over sensitive buds, hearing sounds he’s never heard before from Minho. 

“Sungie. Baby. We need to go home.” 

Jisung whines, “I don’t want to. Having fun.” 

“I know, me too, but we have to or we won’t be able to do the naked stuff, pretty.” Somehow that’s what seeps into Jisung’s horny brain and he stops, sheepish grin on his face, heat on his neck. He steps back and lets Minho finally open the door for him. Within a minute they’re both in the car, buckled in and ready to go. 

“Bug, do you want to talk now, while we kind of can’t touch each other?”

“Yeah, we probably should.” He feels like he should be embarrassed about having this conversation, but it’s Minho. Minho won’t judge. And Min wants this as much as he does. 

Jisung starts, “Ah, you know I’ve never had sex before, so I’m not exactly sure what to expect from you. I was also kind of wondering if maybe we shouldn’t actually have sex tonight and maybe just do other stuff? I’m a little nervous about the sex part, to be honest, and since I’ve only ever gotten one finger in, well, maybe we should wait until you’ve been able to do that, or more fingers?” He draws in a big breath. “Yeah, I’m suddenly nervous about this.”

“Sungie, if we just kissed all night, I’d be absolutely thrilled with that. I have no expectations, and I don’t want you to be nervous. I will follow your lead, how about that? Does that make you feel less nervous?”

Jisung glances up at Minho. “Are you nervous, Min?”

“Fuck yes, Jisung. I’m shaking.” He lifts a hand to show the trembling. 

“Ok, this is weird, but it helps that you’re nervous too.” He lets out a shaky breath. “I want this so bad. I think once we get started it will be fine. I think I just want you to touch me and we can see where we end up? Is that okay, Min?”

“Anything is okay, baby. If you want to stop, you just tell me and I’ll stop immediately, no questions. Do you feel okay about that?”

“I do.” Another breath. “I’m ready to go home, babe.”

Jisung focuses on his breathing during the ride home. He’s getting in his head about this and he doesn’t want to ruin it. He’s nervous, but he keeps telling himself it will be fine. And it will. 

Minho pulls the car into the parking spot, turns off the engine and looks over at Jisung. “Ready to go inside, baby?” Jisung nods. Minho gets out and goes around to open Jisung’s door. He pulls him out by the hand and plants a kiss on his lips. They walk into the apartment hand in hand, both grinning, nervous and excited. 

They get inside and Jisung stalls. He has questions…not sure of the protocol. He feels shy having to ask, but he doesn’t want anything to mess this up. 

He puts a hand on Minho’s chest to halt him. “Min,” he says, cheeks flushing in embarrassment. “Um, I’m not exactly sure what to do, so I’m just gonna ask, ok?” 

Minho’s gaze is soft when he regards him. “What’s up, baby? Don’t be shy, it’s just me. I assumed you’d have some questions, so shoot.” 

“I, uh, like, want to make sure that…fuck. DoIneedtowashmyselfdownthere? Before we, um, get started?” 

Minho takes his question seriously, he doesn’t laugh or even crack a smile. He knows Sungie is incredibly nervous about this. And he finds the whole thing so fucking endearing. “That’s a really good question, Bug. I’m glad you asked. Generally I’d say you should do whatever makes you comfortable. I know you showered not long ago, before we left for dinner, so it’s not likely that you have any odor in that area. But if you feel sweaty or if it would make you more comfortable to freshen up or shower, then you should. If you want to wear cologne, that’s also up to you. Some people do, some people don’t. And these are things we can also figure out together, what works for us specifically, if you’re comfortable talking about that kind of thing. I’m perfectly fine talking about whatever with you. And since your pleasure is my pleasure, I want to make sure that you like the way I smell, so I want you to tell me if anything is ever not to your liking. Does that answer your question?”

“Yeah, it does. Thanks for not being weird about it, Min.”

“Baby, I know it’s new to you. I’m never going to make you feel bad for asking questions about this stuff, okay?” He draws him into a hug. He feels Sungie take a breath, then pull away. 

“I’ll be back in a few minutes, okay?”

“Take your time, pretty boy. I’m going to freshen up a bit.”

Jisung walks quickly to his bathroom, planning what he wants to take care of while he’s in there. He assumes Min will have lube and condoms, so he doesn’t grab that, not that he has condoms. Oh, maybe he should get some. He puts that on his mental list. Then he starts wondering if they need condoms or when the last time Min was tested, realizes he’s spinning out a bit. He takes a breath, opens the door to his room, looks at each corner, called orienting, to help himself calm down. He takes off the leather jacket and hangs it up. Takes off his socks and puts them in the dirty clothes bin. He decides instead of taking a whole shower, he’s just going to clean himself with a warm, soapy washcloth, then rinse and put his clothes back on. He had this outfit planned for Minho to take off, and he still wants him to do that. So he washes himself quickly, dries off, puts on cologne and puts his clothes back on, leaving his shirt untucked. It’s not like they’re going to remain on very long anyway. He grins. Holy shit. This is happening. With Minho. He’s not sure he’s ready to have sex tonight, but he’s definitely leaving the option open. He brushes his teeth and tries to think if there’s anything else he needs to do. He used the bathroom before he washed. Nope, nothing. Just go to Minho, that’s all that needs to happen. Fuck, he’s so nervous, he’s shaking. But he wants this. Badly. 

He leaves his room and stops by the kitchen for a couple bottles of water, then goes into Min’s room. “Min? I’m done.” 

Minho comes out of the bathroom a minute or two later, dressed only in his pants, top button already open. God, he’s sexy. Effortlessly so. He’s looking at Jisung like he wants to eat him. Min walks over to him, tips his chin up with his pointer finger. “Hi,” he says. And then they’re kissing, unsure who kissed who, not really caring. 

It starts slow, closed mouth kisses, bodies close, bumping against each other. Jisung moving Minho toward the bed, him walking backwards until his knees hit the mattress. His ass hits the bed, Jisung crawls into his lap, lips still attached to his, licking into Minho’s mouth. His knees on either side of Min’s hips, hands running through his hair, tugging at times, harder, softer, fingernails scratching at his scalp. The noises…the fucking sounds Minho is making. His hands scratch lower, over his shoulders, down his back. He wants to feel everything. Now. He detaches from his mouth, wanting…something…more. He kisses down Minho’s neck, leaving little blooming marks as he makes his way further down. He can’t get to where he wants to go next, he whines in frustration. “Minho.” 

He’s never done this before and his brain isn’t working well right now. 

“What do you want, baby?” 

“Your chest, I want to touch your chest. Please, Min. I need…” 

“I’m going to lie down.” Now he’s kneeling and Min is flat on the bed, looking up at him with hooded eyes, desire written across his face. 

“Is this what  you wanted?” Jisung barely registers that he said anything, instead he runs a soft hand down the side of Minho’s face, to his pecs, down to his abs. No lower, though. Not now. Not yet. He feels the softness of the skin on his fingertips. Rubs his cheek over the same skin. He’s feral. Crazy. Touch drunk. 

“Min, you feel so good. Wanna put my mouth here. Can I?” 

“My pretty boy, you can do whatever you want to me.” 

Jisung moans, presses kisses to whatever skin is there, hands moving over it as well. He pulls his head back slightly, wanting to look at Minho again. He needs to see his face, that he’s here with him, present. He so is. His eyes are pinned to Jisung, watching him move down his chest, every movement caught and catalogued. Their eyes meet, wordless message exchanged, understood. Jisung looks down at the expanse of skin in front of him, is captivated by the swells of Minho’s pecs, the darker skin atop them. His hand moves of its own accord, fingers swiping over the small bud, pinching and soothing while his mouth finds the other side, tongue twirling around it, teeth biting gently. 

“Sungie,” Minho gasps. Jisung stops and looks up at Minho’s face, checking in with him to make sure this is okay, that he likes it. “Please, don’t stop, baby.” Jisung continues, feeling Minho’s hips start to move beneath him, arms coming around him, hands trailing over his body, no target, just everywhere. Jisung takes a breath, needing to calm down a little, both hands full of Minho’s pecs, rubbing over his nipples, driving him crazy. He finds his mouth again, tongue licking at the seam of his lips, asking for entrance. Granted. Suddenly he feels hands at his waist, lifting him, sitting him up, back on Minho’s lap. 

“Sungie. Sung, I need to touch you. Can I take your shirt off?” 

“Please,” he whimpers, “I want that. Want you to touch me, jagi.” His eyes are screwed shut, waiting.

Nothing happens. He expected his shirt to be taken off him, then Minho to be all over him. But nothing. Warning bells go off in his head. He slowly opens one eye. The other. Minho is sitting there. Hands on the bed behind him, arms at an angle, holding him up, Jisung perched in his lap. He’s just looking. At Jisung. Eyes flicking up and down, like he doesn’t know where to look and he doesn’t want to miss anything. 

“Kitty?” Jisung says, the sound intimate, concern coloring the word.

Minho drags his eyes to his, the only thing on him that’s moving. He looks dazed. “You okay, Kitty?” He rests his hand on the side of Minho’s face, Min nuzzling into the touch. 

“Mmmm, fine, baby. Just looking. Enjoying. I still can’t believe this is happening. That you’re really mine.” Jisung’s eyes drag over him with a desperate kind of softness. He knows exactly how Min feels. “I know. I get it.” 

Then Minho moves. His hands tickle at the hem of Jisung’s shirt, carefully, carefully moving the fabric up. Over his abs. Higher. Over his pecs. Higher. Finally over his head, arms up to ease it completely off. 

“Jisung,” he breathes out, voice cracking, just this side of a moan. “I’m going to put you on the bed. I want you under me.” 

He picks Jisung up, hands under his ass, and gets up off the bed. He’s so strong, it’s like Jisung weighs nothing. Jisung has his hands wound around the back of Min’s neck and he takes the opportunity to lean in for a kiss. Just a small one. Just to say hi, I’m here. Minho walks around to the side of the king sized bed and puts him down. “Scoot up to the headboard, put your head on the pillows?” He does as he’s told. Big eyes watching. Waiting. He watches as Minho puts a knee on the bed then crawls up to him, over him. Dark eyes looking down, coming closer. He’s almost cross-eyed, keeping his eyes on Minho, trying not to miss a moment. He’s holding his breath, anticipating that first touch. He idly wonders where it will be. Oh. OH. Breath over his chest, then down. A hot lick at his belly, a tug at his piercing. Fuck yes. He finds Minho’s head with his hands, fingers tangling into his hair. “Min,” he groans out. When he feels the pull there again, he can’t help it, his back arches, body on fire. “Feel good, sexy?” 

“Min,” he says again. “More.” Minho doesn’t answer with words, he doesn’t have to. Instead he gives his boyfriend what he wants…he takes the piercing between his teeth, pulls on it, harder, harder, whimpers falling out of Jisung. Minho lifts his head for a moment to look at him; his head is thrown back in pleasure, eyes shut, hands in Minho’s hair. He’s beautiful like this. “Baby, you’re beautiful like this.” Sungie’s hands still in his hair, then pull him up. “Come here,” he grates out. He slams their lips together, with a force that borders on violence. 

Minho lays on Jisung, feeling everything - the way his chest is pumping, the piercing digging into his belly, the hardness at his hips. He wants. Needs. 

“Sungie,” he breaks the kiss, “can I mark you?” Jisung freezes, the words filtering down into his consciousness. “Yes. Please,” he whines, kicking his head back to give better access to his neck. Minho wastes no time getting his mouth on that long column, the one that has invaded his dreams. The moment he sucks the skin into his mouth Jisung’s arms snap around him, as if to lock him in place. He doesn’t even know he’s doing it. “Min, you feel so good,” he moans. He sucks more marks into Sungie’s skin, moving down his neck, down his pecs. He stops to tease a nipple, licking around it, sucking the barbell into his mouth; his other hand playing down his sides, back up, back down. He’s so responsive to Minho’s touch. “Jagi, listen to you,” he whispers. “All for me.” 

“All for you, Min. Only you.” Minho uses his other hand to pull at the other, twin piercing, while he sucks this one into his mouth again. Jisung yelps, pleasure flowing through him. Minho repeats the movements, over and over, the pain short circuiting Jisung until all it’s all he is - pleasure, pain. He paws at Minho, not knowing what he wants, but knowing he needs…something. 

“Sungie, look at you, baby. Letting me play with your pretty body, making such gorgeous sounds for me.” The praise hits him, his hips jerk up as much as they can with Minho still on top of him, delicious weight hitting just the right spot, pushing him down into the mattress. 

“Jagiya, please…I need…,” he moans, voice ragged. 

“What do you need, baby? Use your words. I’ll give you anything,” Minho growls. 

“I…can’t think.” He can’t. Words are difficult when all you can do is feel. “I…take my pants off.” Minho buries his face in Jisung’s chest at his words, tries to breathe. He sits up, back on his heels, between Jisung’s legs, .looking, trying to calm himself. He wants to slow down, savor, but this is his Bug. He just…wants. No, he’s going to do this right, give Sungie everything. Jisung’s legs are moving, restless, sawing around Minho. “Min…please,” he gets out. That snaps him back into reality. He puts his hands at Jisung’s waistband, finding the button, undoing it. He leans down to kiss the newly exposed skin, hears the sharp intake of breath. For each bit of skin exposed, he does the same thing, gets the same response. “Lift your hips for me, Sungie.” He slides the pants over his hips, under his ass, down his long legs. They land on the floor in a heap.

He continues to look behind himself, at the pants on the floor, taking a minute to ground. Center. He puts a hand on his foot, watching it as he languidly slides it over his ankle. He kisses his ankle. Up over his calf. Another kiss, a small nibble. Over his knee. A light lick. Up the inside of his thigh, just his finger, lightly, so lightly. He feels the whimper more than he hears it. Leans down to bite just under where the leg of his underwear is, at the meaty part of the inside of his thigh. His hips raise, searching for friction that isn’t yet there. Not now. Not yet. 

Minho finally allows himself to look. He lets out a sound, low and aching. “Fuck, Jisung.” The sight steals his breath. Jisung - all honey skin and toned muscle, shoulders broad and waist tiny, hips trim and legs long - gently concealed by the flowers burned into his trunks, yet almost cruel as the fabric reveals the lines of him. He feels the saliva pool in his mouth, desperate to taste, to test the weight of him…there will be time for that. 

“Minho, please,” he whines, voice higher, almost in pain. “I need you.” 

He leans down onto his elbow, face close to Jisung’s, other hand teasing over the waistband. “Is this what you want, pretty boy?” He says into his ear. Jisung turns toward him. “More. I’m good. Please.” 

“You are good, baby.” He gives him what he wants, palming him over the underwear, pressure up the length of him, his first real feel of him. He teases him through the fabric, feels the wet spot. “You this wet for me already, Sungie,” he whispers, breath hitting his ear, making him gasp. “Yeesss, Min. Ngghhh…hyung.” 

“I want to see you naked, jagiya. Can I take these off now?” He grips him through the fabric, hand sliding down to caress lower, lower.

“Off,” is all Jisung can get out. Minho pulls them down, careful not to tear them in his haste, throws them to the ground. 

“Look at you, Jisung. So pretty.” Jisung whimpers in response. Minho trails his hand up the inside of Jisung’s thigh, reveling in the softness of his skin. Continues up, over his sac, up…”What the fuck.” He looks. Sees it. “Fuck, Bug, that’s hot, baby.” Continues the stroke up. “What. Jisung. Two?” He moans. “You’re so perfect, Sungie. So perfect for me.” 

“Can I kiss you here, baby?” Jisung nods. Desperate to feel Minho’s mouth on him. 

He moves down so he’s laying between Sungie’s legs, his own body toward the end of the bed. He puts his hands on his hips, thumbs drawing gentle circles over the bones, as if to calm. But nothing is going to calm Jisung right now. Minho’s face is over his cock, about to taste him. His heart is hammering, breath sawing in and out, trying to keep his lower body still. He’s watching, wants to watch Minho do this. He lets out a quiet mewl…”Do it, Min. I can’t wait anymore.” At that, Minho takes him into his mouth, no preamble, everything, down to the base. Jisung’s thighs part as he thrusts up into Min’s mouth, the wet heat like nothing he’s ever felt. Minho’s very good at blow jobs and has no gag reflex, lucky him. He curls his tongue around Jisung as he comes up his shaft, finds the frenum piercing and tugs it gently. Jisung’s hips come off the bed, strangled sound forced out of his throat. Minho does it again, a little harder, a little meaner. Then he goes lower, to the one at the top of his balls, again tugging gently so he can see his reaction to it being played with. 

He gets his face further between his thighs, licking up his balls to his tip, hitting both piercings on the way up. He saw the glint of the rhinestone between his cheeks, a reminder that Sungie has a plug in. He moves back a little, wanting to see the plug. He lets out a curse at the sight of it. He pulls on it, mouth sucking at his cock. Pushes it in just to see what happens. Jisung yells, his hips jerk forward, pushing his cock further, into Minho’s throat. Minho loves it. He hollows his cheeks, sucking, licking and pulling, pushing that plug. 

He looks up the line of Jisung’s naked body, watching his muscles tense and relax. He trails a hand up and twists one of the barbells, watching the way his nipple moves, the way Jisung’s head pops up to look down. His eyes are wide and his mouth open. “Min…stop for a minute.” It comes out as a raw whisper. “I’m close and I haven’t even touched you.” 

“How many times can you cum, Sungie?” Jisung huffs out a laugh. “Uh…I’ve only ever cum once?” 

“Oh, sweet boy,” Minho says, “will you let me make you cum again tonight?” 

Jisung just looks at him, swallows, “Can you? Really?” 

“If you want me to, yes.” 

“I want you to. I want to do everything with you.” Minho shuts his eyes, full of feelings he can’t identify, doesn’t understand. What he does know is that Jisung trusts him. Trusts him to love his body, to keep him safe, to make him feel good. “Okay,” he grits out, “let go, then, baby.” 

Jisung peers down at him again…“Can I cum in your mouth?” So innocent, he looks so fucking innocent when he says that. He can’t know what it does to Min, can’t see the way his cock twitches, the electricity sparking through his brain. He can barely get a response past his lips, so he nods his head while he hums his response. 

He pushes Sungie back down, head against the pillows, at an angle so he can see down, watch Min. “Sungie, remember where the lube is?” He nods and gets it, hands it down to Minho, wonders what he needs it for. “Relax for me?” Jisung understands, loosens his muscles and bears down slightly, feeling the plug pop free as Minho gently pulls it. He hears the splunge of the lube squirting out of the bottle. 

“Do you like it cold or warmed up?” 

“No idea, try it cold?” Minho’s mouth is on his cock again, no warning, tongue making a warm trail up, playing in the slit. “You taste good, pretty. I love how wet you are for me.” Before he can react, Minho is spreading his legs, then his cheeks, one slick finger at his rim, circling it. He bucks up at the feeling, not used to all the stimulation. It’s a lot. He consciously relaxes when he feels his finger starting to push in, Min’s mouth still working his cock. The finger feels weird, just like his own did, but not bad. It kind of, almost feels good. Min pushes in further. 

“Is this ok, Sungie?” He nods. 

“Words?” 

“It’s okay, Min. Keep going. Just this one?” 

“Okay.” He licks up his balls again, capturing the ring and tugging on it, tongue working over it while he continues rocking his finger in and out of Jisung’s ass. Then, out of nowhere, it starts to feel good. Better than good. 

“Oh, fuck. Min.” 

“There it is, baby. Feels good, huh?” Minho smiles. 

“Yeah…yeah.” 

He pushes in further, searching, then he finds it - soft, rubbery, different. As soon as he touches it he knows…“MIN! Oh shit, right there, please.” 

“Always so polite, my good boy.” Jisung whimpers at that, hips moving, chasing. 

“Can you take another finger, baby?” 

“Mmmm…’don know, jagiya. Try. Mouth, yes?” 

Minho understands him perfectly. He takes his finger out and adds more lube. “Relax for me? You’re going to feel a stretch, maybe a little bit of burning, but I promise it will feel good in a minute.” 

“Mmmm, ‘k, Min.” 

Minho takes him into his mouth again and puts his fingers to his hole, feels Sungie relax. It’s tight and he can tell it’s not entirely comfortable. “I’m just going to sit like this for a minute, let you get used to two.” Sungie nods. Minho continues playing over his cock with his mouth, sometimes sucking him inside, other times licking and teasing the piercings. He pushes his fingers in a tiny bit and things seem to be okay, so he goes further. “How’s this feel? Okay?” 

“‘S ok, kinda hurts, but not too bad. Keep going.” He pulls them out a little, then pushes back in. Does it again. “Mmmm…Min. Do it again.” 

“Yeah? Feels good?” 

“Yeah. Want your mouth, please. Want to cum, Min. Can I? Please?” 

“You are the best boy. So pretty. Taking two of my fingers in your tight hole. You were made for me. Mine.” 

“Fu…yes, Min. Yours.” 

Minho slowly pushes his two fingers further inside while he takes him back into his mouth. He’s going to make him cum like this, no more waiting, no more teasing. He feels the spot inside him again, brushes up against it then pushes into it for real, watching the reaction he elicits. 

“Nnngghhhh…more.” 

“You can cum, baby,” he whispers.

He gets serious. Fingers in, pressing against his prostate, cock in his mouth, other hand almost yanking his nipple, the piercing, whatever. “Oh, god…Min, PLEASE DON’T STOP!” He doesn’t. He won’t. He feels Jisung’s hands in his hair again, keeping him from moving off his cock. He doesn’t care if he can’t breathe. Who needs to breathe? His fingers keep hitting that spot, over and over again, Jisung’s hips bucking up, breath coming harder, louder, whines, whimpers, moans. Music to Min’s ears, the most beautiful music he’s ever heard. “I’m gonna cum, Min. MINHO! Don’t stop, please please please…I…FUCK.” Minho presses his fingers a little harder against it, mouth expertly working him through his orgasm, “M-Min-ho. Oh. God.” 

He swallows the cum in his mouth, making sure Jisung is done, trying not to overstimulate him. He looks up at him, sees Jisung looking down at him, half smile on his face, half something he can’t identify. Nothing bad, just…he’s not sure. Jisung wiggles his hips, Min takes his fingers out, wipes them on the sheets. “Come up here.” Min does. Jisung kisses him gently, reverently. Looks him in the eye. “Thank you, Minho. That was perfect. Thank you for making it perfect for me.” Minho smiles. “I’ll do anything for you, Sungie.” He wraps his arms around his Bug, feeling at peace. 

“Uh, Min?” 

“Mmmm?” 

“Kitty, you’re still hard.” Jisung glances down, gasps, horny even though he just had the most mind-blowing orgasm of his entire life. 

“Minho, Jesus fuck, baby. Can I please help you with that?” He can see the red, angry head poking past the waistband of his underwear, pre-cum smeared everywhere. He reaches a hand down, shaking, runs his fingers through the wet. Brings them to his mouth, looks at Min and licks them. Throws his head back at the taste. “Fuck me, I need more of that.” 

Minho stares at him like he’s never seen him before. 

“Han Jisung. You. Are. Fucking. Perfect.”

Chapter 32: 32 - Take A Deep Breath, Close Your Eyes And Get Ready To Fly

Summary:

A sweet end to a perfect night.

Chapter title from Renegades by ONE OK ROCK.

“I think I might be a bit of a freak, hyung,” face flushing, eyes down, head tipping toward the bed. 

“If you are, you’re exactly my kind of freak, Sungie. You have no idea how much that turned me on, do you?” 

Jisung looks at Minho. “Are you being serious right now? You liked that?” The math ain’t mathing for him. “Why?” His bewilderment shows all over his face.

“Are you being serious right now, baby?” His eyebrows raise and his mouth forms an “O” when he realizes Jisung is, in fact, being serious. “You just ran your fingers through my…my…pre-cum and licked them, and said you liked the fucking taste! Like it was nothing.” He eyes Jisung, getting turned on all over again. “You wanna taste it from the source?” 

“I really do, Min. I do. Can I?” He looks up at him through his lashes, no trace of laughter on his face. 

Minho groans. “Jisungie, oh my fucking god. I swear you were actually made for me. Yes, baby, you really can.”

Jisung grins. “Uh, Min, can you lay down please? I’m so ready to do this. I have no fucking clue what I’m doing, but I’m ready.”

Minho laughs. “I’ll talk you through it, if you need it. But you can try on your own first, if you want.”

“Yes.” That’s it. That’s the answer he gets from Jisung, who is looking at his dick like it’s the lollipop he didn’t know he wanted to suck on. 

Once Minho is flat on the bed, head on the pillows, Jisung pounces. He straddles Minho’s hips, leans down and starts making out with him, running his hands up and down Min’s sides, just feeling his skin. 

“You feel so good, hyung. I love touching you.” 

He doesn’t know it, but his voice does it for Minho. He keeps kissing him, biting his lips, sucking his tongue. Then an idea pops into his head. 

“Hyung, can I mark you? Just a little? Please,” he whines. “I really want to. I want to mark your chest. And the inside of your thighs. And maybe your ass.” 

The more Jisung talks, the more turned on Minho gets. 

“You can mark anywhere you can cover with clothes, baby. Do your worst. I want your marks.” 

And the more excited Sungie gets, the more his perfect little ass wiggles, and the more he moves over Minho’s crotch. It gets particularly bad when he tells him he can mark him. Min puts his hands on Sungie’s waist, holding him in place. “Jisung. Stop squirming. You’re right on my cock and while this is great, I’d rather have a different kind of stimulation from you.”

“Oh. Shit. Sorry, Min.” He giggles. “I’ll get to work, then. How about that?”

“Yes, you should definitely get to work,” Min grins up at him. 

Jisung does a very good job of kissing down Min’s neck, not leaving any marks until he gets to his pecs. He really doesn’t mean to, but when he moves to get into a better position he rubs the cleft of his ass over Minho’s length, feeling his hips raise in response. “Sungie,” he moans. 

Fuck it, he thinks. “Min, can I take your pants off?” 

“Yes, fuck, please.” Jisung stops, looks at Min and laughs. 

“Okay, then.” 

He unzips Min’s pants and drags them down his hips, down his legs, off. He turns back and takes in the sight before him. Minho, hard and throbbing, head of his cock poking out above the waistband of his underwear - very sexy underwear, if he may say - dark eyes staring up at him. Waiting. Watching. Jisung stares back at him, then very slowly leans over and licks right above where the head of Min’s cock is. Does it again, savoring the way Min’s eyes never move away from his, the way his hands fist the sheets, the moan he works to keep contained. He trails a finger up his hard length, slowly, slowly, eyes still locked with Minho’s. When he gets to the tip he uses his thumb to smear the pre-cum around the head. Minho’s body tenses. Jisung notices. 

“Kitty,” he says, voice deep, looking into Minho’s eyes, “I want you naked now. I want to see.” He’s already seen but that night it was dark and he wasn’t touching. Now it’s different. He can do what he wants, Minho said he could. He’s a little bit uncomfortable doing without asking, but that’s something they can talk about, or maybe it’s just part of their dynamic. He doesn’t know. Doesn’t really care right this moment. 

“Min. Minho. Take them off for me.” He moves off Minho, kneeling next to him. Jisung eyes flick up to his face, then down his body. Watching as he takes them off. His eyes go round when Min is finally naked, cock bobbing slightly from the movement, coming to rest on his stomach. He’s beautifully built, even there. Long, thick, prominent vein that he wants to lick. The head still violently red, whole thing throbbing with his heartbeat. “Jesus Min. You’re like something sculpted by the Gods. I could write songs about your body, will write songs about it. You’re…mine. Nobody but me gets to see you like this.” 

“Yours, Sungie. Only for you.” He smiles. Quiet. Sure. Like giving himself to him is the easiest thing he’s ever done. 

“I’m going to touch you now, Min. Stop me if I do something wrong or that you don’t like.” Minho inclines his head, doubting very seriously that anything Sungie does will be something he doesn’t like. He braces himself, hoping he doesn’t cum too soon. He’s already incredibly aroused. He thinks of something: “Jisung, is…can…I want to touch you too.” 

“You never have to ask me to touch me, babe,” he says, tone serious, fond.

Jisung starts at the top, kissing Minho again, a few pecks at his lips at first, then pressing longer against him. His hands are on either side of Min’s face, holding him like he’s the most precious thing on the planet. 

Jisung isn’t happy with his positioning, so he straddles Minho again, eliciting a moan at the contact. This is better. He leans in again, anxious for more kissing. Minho’s arms are around his neck in an instant, bringing him closer, holding him there while their tongues tangle. “Min, I love kissing you,” he says when they break apart to breathe. He goes back in for more, licking into Minho’s mouth, tasting him, basking in the feel. He trails his fingers down Minho’s neck while they kiss, softly teasing the skin. He moves with Minho when he tilts his head back at the touch, clearly liking the touch at his neck. Jisung kisses along his jawline, fingers still on his neck. His lips follow his fingers, giving shallow bites that won’t leave marks. His kisses continue down, hands doing the same. 

“God, baby, you’re so sexy. Your skin tastes so good.” Every thought that flits through his brain comes out his mouth, and Minho is here for it. “I want to devour you.” Min rolls his hips at that, catching Jisung’s attention with the movement. “Oh, you like that? You like that,” voice deeper, interest saturating his tone. Then it clicks. “You like hearing me talk to you, don’t you. Knowing what I’m thinking, what I want to do to you.” The tension in Min’s body is back, a resounding yes, now that Jisung knows how to read him. He likes this. It makes him feel powerful, in charge, something. 

He lowers his head again, lips aimed for his chest. “I want these in my mouth. You were teasing me with your tits earlier, weren’t you. Making me look, but I couldn’t touch. It was driving me crazy.” Minho moans at his words, still keeping his body rigid. If he lets himself move he won’t be able to stop, and he’s not ready for this to end. 

Jisung’s fingers are at his nipple, pinching and rubbing, while his mouth is on the skin near it. Sucking. “Ah, Min…so good.” He sucks harder, fingers twisting the nipple between them. “Do you like this, Kitty? Am I doing well? Tell me.” 

“You’re doing well, baby. I love how you’re touching me.” It’s all he can get out, the pain and pleasure doing something to his brain, making it feel like he’s thinking through soup. Jisung hums. Sucks at the spot again, licking over it, as if to sooth. He brings his head up, considering the mark. It’s dark, purple, perfect. He smiles. Wiggles his ass. “Look at it, Min. It’s exactly right.” Minho tries to look, but he’s all feel right now, Jisung fucking wiggling again. Right. On. His. Cock. “Jisung. Baby. Please,” he whimpers. “You’re killing me here.” 

Jisung looks flustered, having forgotten about not moving while he’s sitting like this. “I’ll kiss it all better. Just give me a few minutes, I have a plan.” Minho might die. Expire. Jisung has a plan. If he were a praying man… “Okay,” he croaks out. 

Jisung goes back to his…plan. Which is to abuse his other nipple and leave a matching mark, apparently. When he’s done, he leans back to survey his handiwork, fingers fiddling over the mark. “You look so pretty with my brand on you.” Minho’s hips surge up on their own, the idea of being claimed by Jisung more than he can take. Jisung notices the reaction, adds it to his mental list of things to think about later. He’s got things to do right now, no time for anything else. He slips down Minho’s body, his own still soft length brushing over Minho’s throbbing one, his lower body ending up between his legs, upper body poised over his stomach, elbows on either side of him. He feels Minho’s eyes on him, stare devouring him. He catches his gaze with his own as he lowers his head, licking across his stomach, below his belly button, chin catching on the head of his cock. He ignores it, instead opening his mouth slowly to nibble across the soft skin. “I love this. Love biting you.” He bites. Hard. Feels the throb, the dribble of wetness under his chin. “Oh, Min. I can’t wait to taste you. Fuck.” He bites again. “But not yet. You have to wait. Be patient for me, Kitty.” His hips buck up, chasing…chasing. “Jisung…I…ple..ase.” His voice is a plea. “I know, Kitty. I know. Just a little longer, okay?” 

Minho has his eyes shut, trying to think about anything but the way Sungie’s skin feels against his tip. He feels the air swish, the warmth gone from his body. He’s confused. “Sungie?” 

“I’m right here. Just grabbing a sip of water. Then back to my plan.” He can hear the tease in his voice. He feels it when Jisung settles back on the bed, this time next to him instead of on top of him. He waits. Tries to be patient. Wants to know what’s next. 

Jisung kisses Minho, then quickly moves his head away. “Minho, I want you to open your eyes and look at me, please.” He does. What he sees is nearly his undoing. He closes his eyes again, the image burned onto his lids. Sungie has situated himself so he’s on one side of Minho, on his hands and knees, ass closest to Min’s face. That means his face is right at his crotch, so close to his dick that if he raised his hips an inch…he moans, “Fuck…please.” 

“Min, please open your eyes. I want you to watch me. I want to be so good for you. I need you to watch.” Jisung is whining. He turns to make sure he’s done what he’s asked, eyes open, on him. They are. Barely. Minho doesn’t know how he’s going to survive this. Fuck. 

“Please touch me, Min,” shaking his ass at him. “Please?” Another whine. “I need you to touch me while I touch you.” He puts the hand closest on his back, rubbing over it, down his ass. Jisung’s ass lifts at the touch, seeking more. “Yes, Min…just like that. Please.” He takes a small sip from the water bottle he’s got next to him on the bed. Turns back to make sure Min is still watching. He is. He lowers his head, swipes his tongue across the wet, slippery head of him. Around it. Over it. Jisung moans at the taste, Minho moans at the feel. “Oh my god, baby. You taste…fuck, I want more.” His hand moves to pet at the inside of Minho’s thigh, mouth back at his cock, lips slipping around it, tongue playing over the tip. Min’s hips buck up, the cold of Jisung’s mouth from the water against the heat of his most intimate skin making him gasp. “Again, Jisung, please.” He looks back at him. “The water? You want me to drink more?” 

“Mmm…yes, yes…I…” 

He takes another small sip, puts his mouth back on Min’s cock, this time going down further, taking as much as he can. “Oh, fuck baby,” Minho grates out. “Please.”

Jisung will give him anything. Do everything. He gives a slow, wet drag of his tongue up his shaft, pinching the inside of his thigh with his hand. His hips come up again. He dips his tongue into the slit, kitten licks that seem to drive Min mad. 

A sudden, loud crack. The sting of it soothed by a palm. Jisung gasps at the pain. “Again, please.” The next one is harder, better. Right on top of the last one, the pain amplified deliciously. Hand, rubbing over it tenderly. He feels the arousal course through him, spurring him on. “More, Min. Do it again. Make it sting.”

He has his lips wrapped around Minho when the next one comes, his moan vibrating against him. It must feel good, that hum, because he feels the pulse of him against his tongue, hears the gasp ripped from his lips. He wants more, takes Min further into his mouth, feeling like he’s going to choke. “Baby, it’s ok,” Min says roughly. “Just use your hand for whatever you can’t take in your mouth.” Jisung nods, immediately wanting to try the idea. 

“Min, squirt some lube on my hand.” He reaches his hand back, waiting, continuing to lick and suck. “You taste so good. Will you cum in my mouth?” The long, loud groan he hears is his answer. “You’re so fucking perfect, my good boy.” He finally feels the cold lube in his palm. He closes his hand to warm it a little. Hears the bottle squirt more out, but can’t think why. 

“Jisung,” Minho whispers, “I want you to cum untouched. Do you want to?”

It’s hard, but Jisung removes his mouth from Minho’s dick and looks at him. “What does that mean? How does that work?”

“It means neither of us will touch your cock to get you to cum. Instead I’ll finger you and you’ll cum from me stimulating your prostate.”

“If you want me to, I’ll try it.”

Minho just stares at him. He doesn’t know what he did to get this lucky. Shakes his head as if to wake himself from this trance he’s in. “Okay, baby. Get that perfect ass back here.”

Jisung gets into position, feels Min’s fingers at his hole. God damn it, he’s so fucking horny. He came, what, 20 minutes ago, if that? He’s already hard and dripping. 

Minho’s fingers slip inside him, two, and they feel so good, dragging against his walls. He pushes his ass back, trying to get them deeper. He curls his hand around the last half or so of Minho’s cock, putting his mouth around the top half. As he slides his mouth down he brings his hand up, twisting it a little for friction. He can tell Min likes this, and the sounds that keep bubbling up deep in his throat from the attack on his prostate by Minho’s fingers. Every time they hit that spot…he can’t help but make some noise. He doesn’t even know what anymore, it just feels so good. 

He pops his mouth off Minho, using his hand instead. “Minho, baby, your fingers feel so good inside me. Can I have more?” 

“Yeah? You want that?” 

“Yes, please.” He tips his head down, moves his ass up. “I do. Can you try?”

“God I want to fuck you. I want more than my fingers in you, Sungie. Not tonight, but soon,” he promises. 

“Min, fuck, next time?” He stops moving, relaxes as Min readies another finger, slicking it up with lube. He feels the slight burn, but it’s nothing compared to the pleasure he’s feeling. He stays still for another few seconds, getting accustomed to the stretch, then he rocks back just a bit, testing. It’s fine. He rocks back again, whines from sheer ecstasy. 

“Baby, you’re taking my fingers so well. You look so good with your ass stuffed full of me. I can’t wait to see you stuffed with my cock.” 

“Minho, fuck, I want that so bad.” Minho hits his prostate, making it hard for him to think, let alone talk.

Instead he stretches to reach his inner thigh, where he sucks a dark mark. He licks up, starting just under Min’s balls, over them, then up his shaft, capturing him in his mouth again. His hand moves down, playing with his balls, nails scratching over them. “Sungie, harder.” He scratches harder, still sucking, hollowing his cheeks and taking Minho as far down as he can. “Sungie, I’m so close, baby. Please….” He doesn’t stop. 

He feels his pleasure coiling low in his belly, all from Min’s fingers. He cups Min’s balls, gently rolling them. Then he tugs on them while going particularly deep on his cock. That’s the trick. “Nggghhhhh…fuck, baby, that’s it.” 

Jisung takes him further, hitting the back of his throat. He fights not to gag, pulling his head back a little, breathing through his nose. 

“Can I fuck your mouth?” He wants this. He’ll just have to be careful not to go too far down while Min fucks his hips up. He nods quickly, cock still in his mouth. “You’re so fucking perfect, Sungie. So good for me.” He sinks back onto Minho’s fingers, fucking himself on them while Min fucks up into his mouth. His hand still under Min’s balls, tugging down. They both get into a rhythm, matching each other, bodies moving together. They’re loud and getting louder. Jisung’s mouth full of Minho, being used in the best way, moaning and humming around him. His taste changing as he gets closer to his release. 

“I wish I could hear your voice right now, baby, telling me what you want to do to me. You’re so sexy. I love hearing you.” He lets out a long whimper, so close…so close. Min’s fingers hitting the exact right spot every time. 

“Sungie, I’m gonna cum, baby…” Jisung nods, tries to look back to let him know he’s there too. Then Min’s hips buck up, Jisung’s lips perfect around him, hot liquid filling his mouth. He feels his own orgasm rolling over him, then he’s coming all over Min’s side and the bed. He urges Minho continue to thrust into his mouth, working him through his orgasm, letting him set the pace for when he’s done. Jisung isn’t sure when to stop and he doesn’t want to cut anything short. And he’s quite happy to have Min’s dick in his mouth, if he’s being honest. He likes it.

“You good, baby?” Minho asks him before taking his fingers out. “Mmmm,” he responds. Minho stops moving his hips, brings them back down to the bed. Jisung turns around, climbs up Minho so their faces are even, tumbles off to one side so Min can put his arm around him. Jisung looks up at Minho, face radiant, smile heart-shaped. “Minho. That was amazing.” He looks down, shy. “Did I…how was…was it okay?” He’s kind of scared to know the answer. Yeah, Min came, but was it good? Did he suck at it? No pun intended. He’s overthinking. 

“Jisung. Look at me, pretty boy.” He does. “You were amazing. You’re a natural. Fucking perfect.” 

“Really, Kitty?” 

“I would not lie to you about this. First time and you’re letting me fuck your face? Talking to me, telling me what you want to do? Letting me fuck you with my fingers. You are a dream, baby. So perfect.” He pulls him tighter to him. “I’m so fucking lucky, Sungie. I’m never letting you go.” Jisung revels in it…he’s got a man, his best friend, his soul mate, his boyfriend, telling him how perfect he is, how good at this he is. He’s exactly where he wants to be. “Yours, Min. Always.” 

They lie there, tangled together, hearts racing, happy. 

“Let’s get cleaned up. We need to change the sheets, too.” Jisung cannot get the stupid fucking grin off his face. He hates changing sheets, but this time he doesn’t even mind it. He looks over at Minho, who has an equally stupid grin on his face. 

“Okay, let’s do this,” he giggles out. They get off the bed after a few more minutes. They’re both nude and they both look at the other. 

“Fuck, Sungie, you’re so pretty. You should walk around naked more often.” Jisung blushes at the praise, his ears going red as well as his face. 

“Stop it!” he whines, loving it, but having a hard time taking the compliment. He gives it back to Minho. “You’re not so bad yourself, Min. Check out those marks I left on you.” He gestures at them with his face. Minho goes to look in the mirror. “Oh, nice, baby,” he says as he looks at the ones on his chest. 

“Look at the one on your thigh, Min,” Sungie grins, very proud of himself. Min looks. 

“I’m gonna need a matching one on the other thigh.” He’s completely serious. “Maybe tomorrow morning? Unless you want to go again tonight?” 

He looks Jisung up and down. “I’d do you.” Jisung walks over to him, arms going around his waist, hands grabbing at his ass. “Oh would you now?” 

“Should we wait to change the sheets then, baby? Want me to fuck you?” 

A sharp intake of breath. “Minho. Would you? Do you really want to?”

“Are you joking? Fuck yes, I want to. You could probably take me, too. I got three fingers in with no problem, and you’re still loose from it. Fuck, Sung. I don’t want you to be sore, though. And coming three times in one night? I mean, totally doable, but maybe a little difficult? I actually might have to go jerk off about this.” He looks down, gesturing to his half hard cock. 

“Let’s take a shower together and see where we end up,” Jisung suggests, as he takes Minho into his hand. 

“Sungie…” He grabs him, pulls him towards him, planting a kiss on his lips. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.” 

They half walk, half stumble to the bathroom, kissing and touching the whole way there. Minho starts the shower, Jisung gets towels and puts them on the warming rack, and flicks the overhead heat light on.

Minho gets in first, his back to the spray of water. Jisung follows, arms going around Minho right away, face tilted up to connect their mouths, tongues tangling again. “I want to kiss you all the time, Kitty. I love your mouth.”

“Sungie,” Minho breathes into his mouth. “I want to take care of you. Will you let me?” 

“Of course. You can do whatever you want. Seriously. I just want your hands on me.”

Minho trades places with Jisung, putting him under the warm spray, facing towards him. He makes sure his hair is wet then reaches for his shampoo, squirts some in his hand and proceeds to wash, then condition Jisung’s hair. Before it’s over, Jisung is moaning from how good it feels to have his head massaged, feeling so relaxed that he’s practically hanging on Minho’s shoulder. 

Minho takes a washcloth from the shelf just outside the shower and gets it all sudsy with his body wash and runs it over a very cute and sleepy man, who can’t stop yawning. He looks at Minho with wide eyes, startled by his own yawn. “Min! I’m so sorry. I still want to…” He gazes at Jisung, so, so fondly, not even thinking about sex anymore…ok, that’s not entirely true, they are both naked and wet and slippery… “I just want to hold you, jagi. Can we do that instead?” His face is so earnest, so open, how can Jisung say anything but yes? 

“Let me wash off the soap, then trade places with me so I can clean myself too. Then we’ll get ready for bed.” He finishes up then turns the water off. He opens the shower door and gets the warmed towel off the rack, drying off Jisung and wrapping the towel around him, sending him to sit on the closed toilet seat while he dries himself off before getting out of the shower. He blow dries their hair, uses makeup wipes to take off the makeup that didn’t come off in the shower and gets them dressed in his clothes for bed. They brush their teeth next to each other, eyes meeting in the mirror. 

“Sit down, baby, I’m going to go change the sheets.” Jisung sits. He’s so, so tired. “Thanks, Min.” Minho goes and takes care of the bed, then comes back for his jagiya. He bends down and bodily picks Jisung up, bridal style, and carries him to the bed, laying him down carefully on the pillows, pulling the blankets up over him. He’d even gone to Sungie’s room and gotten his fluffy, soft alien blanket that he knows he loves to sleep with. 

He walks around to his side of the bed, takes his shirt off, and slips under the covers, scooting over to where Jisung is. He pulls him close, snuggling him, kissing his neck, breathing him in. 

“Good night, baby.” Jisung reaches a hand behind himself, rubbing up Minho’s side. 

“Good night, Kitty.” 

Stupid fucking grins still on both their faces.

Chapter 33: 33 - I Want The Cause Of My Death To Be Amazing Sex

Summary:

It's the middle of the night...Jisung is processing. Minho makes tea. It's beautiful.

Chapter title from Grow Old Die Young by ONE OK ROCK.

It’s 3:25am. Minho wakes up in a rush. The sheets beside him are cold, empty. He sits up, turns on his bedside light. Looks around the room. Where is he? He gets out of bed, goes to the living room. He finds Jisung sitting on the couch, writing. He walks up behind him, leaning down over the side to put his arms around him, face in his hair. 

“Hi, hyung.” Jisung turns his head and looks at him. “Did I wake you?” Minho shrugs his shoulders. “I’m not sure why I woke up. But you weren’t there when I did. Is everything okay? Why are you out here, baby?” His voice is quiet, concerned. “Mmm, I woke up and my head was full. I thought I’d write down the words that were in it. Sometimes they turn into songs, sometimes they don’t turn into anything.” He smiles at him. “I’m okay. Just my way of processing everything, I guess.” 

“Do you want to come back to bed? If you’re ready, I’d like to cuddle, maybe go back to sleep for a few hours.”

“Let me get these last few things out, then I’ll be in.” His eyes settle on Minho, gentle and open. “Shouldn’t take long.” 

“Do you mind if I sit with you? Will that bother you?”

“I’d welcome the company.”

“I’m going to make tea; would you like some?”

“That sounds good. Thank you, jagi.”

Minho busies himself in the kitchen, getting their hot tea ready. He puts extra honey in Jisung’s, knowing he likes the sweetness. Just a little honey for him, though. He takes the mugs to the living room, puts them on the table, sits down. Far enough from Jisung not to be in his way, but close enough that they can share a blanket. 

This is nice, he thinks. He’s not sure it’s any different then what he would have done before, but it feels different in their new circumstances. He likes it. 

He leans forward and picks up his mug, blows on it, takes a sip. It’s good. Hot, just a tad sweet. He sits back, relaxed. Waits. Watches his Bug, sips his drink. 

A few minutes later, “I’m done, jagi. Let’s go back to bed.” Jisung picks up his tea and stands up, waits for Minho to join him, both walking back to the bedroom together. “This is good, Min. Thank you for making it.” He nods. He notices Jisung looking at him, eyes darting away when he sees Minho’s on him. Jisung sits on the side of the bed. Something’s weird. 

“What’s going on in that head of yours, Sungie?” 

He laughs a little, self-conscious. He tilts his head down to look at his feet. 

“You’re pretty, Lee Minho. I, uh…” 

Min shifts, making his way across the bed to where Jisung is. He sits with his legs on either side of Sungie’s, pulling him back into his chest. 

“You, uh, what, pretty boy? Tell me?”

“It’s silly, Min. It’s just, looking at you…I want you. I want to touch you. But it’s the middle of the night and I shouldn’t feel like this right now.”

He takes Jisung’s chin gently in his hand, turns his head so they can see each other. “Baby,” he says quietly, “you are allowed to feel however you feel whenever you feel it. Please never be afraid to tell me what’s on your mind, no matter how silly you think it is. You wanting me, to touch me, you can do that whenever you want. I want your touch. I want you.” 

His voice is hushed, intimate. His hand slides from his chin, down his neck, slowly, softly, the movement ending at the hem of his shirt. 

“Can I take this off you?” 

Jisung nods, still shy, still hesitant. Minho lifts his shirt, taking his time, eases it over his head, dropping it to the floor when it’s free. 

“Turn around, Sungie. Let me see you.” 

Jisung takes a steadying breath then stands up, rotates to face him, eyes still down, not able to meet his gaze. 

“I could stay like this forever, baby, looking at you,” Minho whispers, a quiet awe lingering on his face. 

“Can you look at me, jagi? Please?” 

Jisung lifts his head, their eyes connect, the air itself seems to spark around them, humming with something unspoken. He exhales with a trembling shiver. Desperate. Needy. 

“Hyung. I…” Minho lifts his hand, slowly, so slowly, threads his fingers through the hair at the back of Jisung’s head, gentle pressure bringing their faces closer and closer, lips finally meeting in a kiss that’s barely there. Electric, despite the tenderness.

“...need you,” Jisung finishes his sentence. The words passing his lips like a secret he didn’t mean to share. 

“I know, baby,” cupping his cheek. “Are you sure you’re ready? I need you to be sure.” 

Jisung steps back, eyes locked with Minho’s. His thumbs find the top of his sleep shorts. Hook into it. Drag his shorts down, inch by inch, revealing his honey skin. He releases them. They fall to the ground, unimportant, unremembered. 

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life, Minho,” still staring at him. “I want this. With you. Please.”

Minho stands up. Takes his shorts off, bare now. He closes the space between them, arms going around him, embracing him, turning him. He’s in his space, lips on his, kiss white hot. They’re moving, the backs of his knees coming in contact with the mattress, forcing him to sit while Minho stands between his open legs. 

“Jisung.” He utters it like a prayer. 

“Jisung.” Softer this time, no less reverent.

He moves further onto the bed, head propped by the pillows. Minho lies on top of him, their naked bodies sliding against one another. Their lips meet, tongues twining, teeth biting. 

“Touch me,” he murmurs against his lips. “Please, Minho.” 

That’s all it takes. 

That direction. 

That request. 

Touch me. 

He does. 

He kisses down his body, hands roaming, teasing, exploring. Lips on heated skin. Down. Down. “In…in your mouth, Min,” he pleads. “I want…nggghhhh….jagi, yes.” 

He hums. Hips rut up, the reaction unexpected. “Again, Min.” He holds his hips this time, humming again. “Oh. Fuck.” His head turns side to side on the pillow. Eyes unfocused. Body on fire. 

“I…I want your fingers. In me. Yes. Now.” He sees the lube out of the corner of his eye, somehow gets it to Minho. “Oh…oh…yes, hyung. Like that.” 

Minho is crazed. He needs. To be inside Jisung. Fucking him. Owning him. Claiming him. Just a little longer, he tells himself. Have to get him ready. Can’t hurt him. 

“Jagi, another. Fuck. Please.” The way he says it…Minho gives him more, a third, having started with two. He’s careful, slow with it. He keeps his fingers still, letting him get used to the intrusion. Holds his cock in his mouth. Sucking. Licking. Pulling on the frenum piercing gently with his teeth. He fucks himself back on his fingers. Seeking. Demanding. Taking.

He opens his eyes. Looks down his body. Locks eyes with Minho. “Jagi, please. Fuck me. I need…”

“I know, baby.”

He sighs. They should have talked about this before. “Condom? Do you want me to use a condom?” 

Jisung makes himself think. “Do you need to? I trust you, Min. I trust you. If you don’t have to, then don’t. I want to feel it. Everything. With you.” 

Minho shakes his head. “I’m clean. I get tested monthly.”

Jisung nods. Minho takes him in his mouth again. He whines, the pleasure overwhelming. “Nghhhh…no, ‘don wanna cum. Min!” He shakes his head, eyes wild. “No!”

He releases him from his mouth slowly, savoring the feel of him down to the tip. He slips his fingers out, wiping them off on the sheet. 

“Baby. I want to see your face while I fuck you.” His tone brooks no argument. “Pull your knees up and spread your legs.” 

He strokes himself slowly, taking in Jisung’s open thighs. Puts a pillow under Jisung’s hips. Spreads lube on himself. 

“Tell me you want this. I need to hear the words,” tone heavy, serious. 

“I want this. You, Min. Please, jagi. Don’t make me wait any longer.” 

He lines himself up, the head of him just touching his hole. Holding himself, pushing in. Just a bit, not too fast. He groans. This is…torture. A delicious torment, pulling him apart piece by piece. 

Jisung gasps “It…it…” He stops, lets him get used to it. He knows he’s big, has to take it slow. 

“Okay, baby? Can I keep going?” He looks down at him, Jisung’s eyes find his. Pleading. For what, he isn’t sure. 

“Please, yes…please.” He pushes in again, further. “Oh…god…Min. Hold on. Let me…”

“I’ve got you, baby.” They stay like that for a minute. He pulls out slightly, pushes in again. 

“I’m going to touch you, Sungie.” He wraps his hand around Jisung’s cock, gliding up. In a little more, out, in. Hand moving down now. “How’s that?” 

“Yes, Min. Keep…keep…” 

Minho is sweating from the effort of not just shoving in. Of not just taking. 

“Almost there, Sungie. Just a little more. Can you take it?” His hand is still moving, pleasuring Jisung even as he causes discomfort. 

“I can take it. I want it.” Closer. Still pressing in. There. He moans at the feel, the heat surrounding him. 

“Baby. Look at you, such a good boy for me. Taking all of me.”  

He leans over him, pressing their lips together. Waiting. Giving him another moment to learn the feel of him, to adjust.

“I need to move,” he says against his lips. “Are you ready, Princess?” 

Sungie’s eyes pop open at the name, cheeks flushing a deep red. Clenches.

Oh, he likes that. 

“Y-yes, Min. You c-can move.”

He does. 

Minho pulls out, almost to the tip. Slowly, tentatively, pushes back in, testing, making sure he can take it. That there’s no pain. 

There isn’t. Only ecstasy carved across his face. 

Jisung is spellbound, watching the man above him. He's like water. Silk. A secret finally spoken out loud. He can’t help himself. “Minho, you’re…ahhh, yes…you’re unreal. Beautiful. Yesss…there.”

“Jisung, baby, I need to fuck you. I…I need…” His hands find purchase on Jisung’s hips, holding, steadying. He moves out, starting the motion again. His hips snap forward, seating him fully. A moan. Maybe from both of them. 

“Baby. I…” 

The sweat drips down his face. He doesn’t know what’s wrong with him. He’s never felt like this, crazed. Wild. Needing to claim. 

“Do it, Kitty. Take what you need.” 

Minho forces himself to be gentle, to go slowly. 

“Faster, babe. I need it faster,” Jisung says on a whine, hand reaching up to his face, pulling him down for a kiss. Then, “Stop holding back, Min. Please, baby, fuck me.” 

He stills, just for a second. In his ear, voice low, raw, “You’re perfect, Jisung. So perfect, Princess.” 

Then he moves. Still graceful. Still fluid. Less controlled. Less in control.

“Uh, Min, you feel…s’good…inside…” 

“Oh, my…god, yes…more.”

“Harder, baby. I need it harder.”

The words fall out of his mouth. It’s impossible to keep them inside. Minho is everywhere. On him. In him. Surrounding him. Giving him everything. 

He stretches his arms up, hands taut against the headboard, keeping him from being fucked up the bed. Minho pulls him down towards him, tilting his hips up, changing the angle slightly. 

“Baby,” he grits out, holding him, fucking into him, not stopping even to talk, “I’m close. You feel so good.”

“Min, can I touch myself? I need…” His head kicks back, he moans. Minho hit that spot inside him again. 

“No. Me. I mean, I want to touch you. Make you cum.”

“Okay, Kitty,” he looks up, eyes wide, trusting. Smiles. 

“Fucking touch me, then, Minho.” He arches up, punctuating his words.

Minho does. His touch is filthy, hard. Exactly what Jisung needs. His thumb plays at the piercing, fingers pull it. His cock dragging out, pushing in, hitting his spot every time. 

“Yes, Min, like that! Don’t stop.” Minho doesn’t think he could stop if he wanted to. 

“Sungie, fuck.” He thrusts harder, harder, hand rubbing slick, burning skin. 

“Oh…Min, Kitty…I’m…fuck, yes...gonna cum...now...ngggghhhh…” Jisung cums over his hand, on his own stomach, chest. Hole clenching. Minho’s hips stutter. He feels the prickling sensation, the almost pain, shooting down his spine, then outwards. He can’t stop, rhythm lost, body acting on instinct. 

He fucks into him again, pushing as far into Jisung as he can. Cum pulsing out, hot, waves of pleasure coursing through him, body quaking with the force. Back and forth, while he rides it out, still gently stroking Jisung through his orgasm. 

It’s done. He stops moving, trying to force air into his lungs. Jisung doing the same beneath him. He curls over him, hand to his precious face. He feels…everything. It was perfect. Exactly right. 

He opens his eyes and peers down at his lover, his love. The expression on Jisung’s face nearly unravels his weak control. It’s luminous. As if the sun itself shone through his features. 

“Min…Minho,” he tries to speak, throat full of gravel, dry. “God, Minho. That…you…” Words desert him. 

Minho is still inside him. Goes to pull out. “No! P-please don’t leave,” wrapping his legs behind him to keep him there. He doesn’t understand his reaction, only knows he doesn’t want to feel empty. 

“Please stay,” tears forming, falling. “Stay.” Minho’s expression softens into a look of pure adoration..

“I’m not going anywhere, baby.” They stay like that, connected deeper than words can reach.

Suddenly shy, Minho’s gaze rests just behind Jisung. 

“Um,” he starts, “how was it?” 

Jisung looks at him in absolute shock. He starts to say something sarcastic, then realizes how uncharacteristic this insecurity is of Minho. He puts his hand on his jaw, drawing his face towards his own. 

“Minho. It was…you were…exactly…perfect,” he breathes out. “Everything I wanted and things I didn’t know to want. If I had to do my first time over, I wouldn’t change a thing. You were amazing.” 

He notes the flush over Min’s cheeks, the way he ducks his head down, unable to maintain the eye contact. 

“I wanted it to be good for you.” 

“Kitty, it was better than anything I’d ever imagined.”

They stay as they are for another little while, indulging in the closeness. Before he slips out of him, Minho rolls them to the side and retrieves Jisung’s t-shirt from the floor, putting it under him. He watches as his cum drips out, stirring desire in him once again. 

Jisung catches the look on his face, quirks an eyebrow in question. “You like watching that, Kitty?” Minho hums in response, eyes still pinned. 

Jisung feels himself moving through space, a surprised gasp leaving his lips. His thighs are spread open, hips grabbed and pulled upwards. 

“Minho! What…ohhh, god…yes…” Minho’s face is between his legs, tongue in his hole, licking at the cum leaking out. Little sounds, satisfied moans against Sungie’s rim, the warm feel of a wet tongue, nothing wasted, lapped up. Minho sits up, wipes his chin, eyes dancing, cock twitching. 

“Sungie,” breathless. “Baby, can I eat you out later?” 

 

Jisung just giggles and nods his head. How can he say no to that face? 

…and the way it felt to have Min’s tongue there? 

He can’t wait for later.

Chapter 34: 34 - Come Crash Into My Vacant Arms

Summary:

Minho and Jisung have a great morning together. They meet their friends later in the day, both to tell them about their new relationship and to figure out the mystery of who 3catdad is.

Chapter title is from +Matter by ONE OK ROCK.

Jisung flutters his eye open, just one, tries to figure out why the world is moving up and down. He cracks a grin. Oh. I’m on Min’s chest. Duh. He giggles to himself. He crooks his head up, wanting to see if Min is awake. He sees the corners of his lips quirk up. He’s awake. “Yay, you’re up!” He’s genuinely happy to see him, as if he didn’t just spend the past however many hours in his company. They’ve woken up together before, but the joy this time is different. Deeper. More meaningful, like the world has changed. And maybe it has. 

Minho smiles down at him. Jisung’s joy is infectious. “Good morning, baby.” He tightens his arms around him, needing him as close as he can get him without being inside him. Ah, the thought of being inside him makes his dick twitch, and he knows Sungie feels it because his smile turns to a smirk. 

“Whacha thinkin’ about, Kitty,” he whispers conspiratorially, raising an eyebrow in question.

He can be honest or he can lie his ass off. He chooses to be honest. But before he says anything, he flips Jisung over to his opposite side, ass facing him now, and pushes his hardening dick between his cheeks. Wraps his hand around Sungie’s cock, stroking it, relishing the way he responds to his touch. “I’m thinking about being inside you, Princess.” The sharp intake of breath tells him everything he needs to know about how this morning is going to go. Jisung presses back against him. “Hyung,” he sighs. The word said like even breathing is too much. 

“Can I, baby?” 

“Can you what?”

“Can I fuck you, Jisung?” Minho’s voice is low and serious. 

“I like hearing you say that, Kitty,” Jisung turns his head to look at him. “Yes.”

Minho moves his hips back, slips a finger in to see if Sungie can take him without any prep. He’s still a little lubed from before. He puts another finger in, scissors them apart. Jisung whines, “Minho…that feels good.” He starts kissing the back of his neck, continuing to open him up on his fingers.

“Are you sore at all, Sungie?” He never wants him to hurt, so he makes sure to check in about it. His fingers are still inside of him, moving, pleasing him. He adds a third, watching for signs of pain.

Jisung shakes his head. “No,” he whimpers out, “not sore. I want more, Kitty.” 

Minho sucks a mark into the skin at his nape. “Where’s the lube?” Jisung finds it at the top of the bed and hands it to him. He throws the covers off of them and slicks himself up. 

“Baby, stick your ass out a little.” Minho spreads his cheeks open so he can see his hole. “You ready?” 

“Put it in, Minho, please. I want to feel you inside me.” 

“Jesus Christ, Jisung. You’re incredible.” He slides in, going slowly like before. 

“Minho,” he whines, loudly. “Please. Why aren’t you fucking me?” He sounds almost annoyed.

“Baby, I don’t want to hurt you. I want to make sure you’re okay from before.” 

Jisung pushes back, taking Minho the whole way in one stroke. “Ah…hah…yes. Oh. That’s what I wanted to feel. All of you. You feel so good inside me.” 

Minho pulls out, not liking their position. Jisung whines in complaint. But he wants to see Sungie’s face.

”Sungie, I want to see your face. Ride me?”

He turns back to look at Minho, eyes big and excited. “Hell yes, Kitty.” He straddles Minho, a knee on either side of him. He takes Minho’s cock in his hand, strokes him a few times then sits his cock up and positions him at his entrance. He moans when he feels his head nudging him. Feels Minho pulse in his hand. He guides him inside, taking him in slowly. The intrusion is different. Minho’s cock feels bigger somehow. 

He bottoms out. 

“Minho,” his voice small, awed. “I can feel…everything.” He’s stunned. Slides up. Down again. Breaths going in and out in ragged jerks.

“Does…does it feel different for you? Do you like it?”

Minho stares at him, unable to speak for a moment. He breaks out of his reverie. “I do, baby. I love it.” 

“Why?” He raises himself up, head thrown back at the feel of Minho inside him, filling him, stretching him. A startled moan as he takes him back down.

“Fuck. this is so good.” 

“Hmmm…why? I can see your face. I can kiss you. I can play with you. I can see your hole taking my cock. It’s so fucking sexy.” He kisses him, arms around his neck, pulling him close. 

“Minho.” Hands at his waist, helping him. Hips thrusting, fucking up into him.

“Hold on, Princess.” Minho smirks up at Jisung as he moves them down the bed, off the pillows, so he’s lying flat, Jisung still stretched on his cock, still straddling him.

Minho bends his legs at the knees, pushing his heels into the mattress. He holds him down, fingers having slid down to his hips, indentions in his flesh. Pistons up into him, the drag so fucking good.

“God, baby, you feel so good. Taking my cock, riding me. So good. I love watching you.”

He’s babbling. He can’t stop.

“Baby, touch yourself. Talk to me.”

Jisung’s fingers find his nipples, pull on his piercings.

“Min, fuck. I got these…I wanted you to see them. Think about them. Play with them. I’ve wanted you for so long. Wanted you inside me, jagi. I wanted them to drive you as crazy as you drive me.” 

Sweat drips down Minho’s face, cock still buried in Jisung. His eyes glued to where they’re connected, watching himself disappear into the pink, puffy ring every time he grinds up. He growls, “Tell me more.”

“Every time I’d see you in the gym, in those tiny fucking shorts, thighs out…I wanted to lick them, bite them, leave marks on you.”

His hands move down, traipsing through the moisture covering his chest, down his abs, settling over himself. Wrapping around. Slippery hand over velvet skin. Other trailing lower, following the ditch of his thigh. Further still, finally stopping at his rim, rubbing around it, barely there. He feels the hard line of Minho, inside him. Traces his finger up.

“Min, stop for a minute.” They lock gazes. Jisung tests. His finger slips inside himself, right next to Minho. 

“Holy shit. Min, please. Fuck me.” 

“Jisung. What the fuck, baby. God damn, you are…oh…oh, I’m gonna cum just from watching you. Fingering yourself with my dick inside you. Jesus.” 

“I’m so close. This…” The hand on his cock jerks up. Minho is still holding him by the waist. Still fucking up into him. He clenches, hole tighter around Minho, around his finger. “Oh, god, Min.” 

“Jagi. Please. Please don’t stop. I need - “

“Baby, I’m gonna cum.” It’s too much. He can feel Jisung’s finger moving alongside his cock. See it. The lewd, wet, filthy noises every time they move together. Jisung’s moans and whimpers. His own. 

He feels Min start to lose his flow, cadence becoming stilted, uneven. He pumps his cock faster, almost…almost. 

“Cum for me, Princess.”

Release slams through him, the pulsing waves moving over his entire body. Ropes of white painting MInho’s chest. Jisung keens, sound ripped out of him. He curls over, hands on Minho’s chest. Gasping, breath shredding through him in sharp, broken bursts.

Minho spills inside him, hot and brutal.

“Jisung,” he yells, hips kicking up, hardness pushing into Jisung, almost uncomfortably. “Baby. Fuck. Oh…” A shapeless sound barreling out of his throat, raw and primal. 

Minho’s hands are still on his hips, holding him up instead of holding him down. Making sure he doesn’t fall over. Keeping him safe. 

“Hey,” he says in a hushed tone, “you okay?” Still catching his breath, coming down.

A soft moan. Sungie not quite able to form words yet. He nods. He wiggles a little, ready to snuggle. Minho helps him off, lays him down, gathers him close. Makes him feel treasured. 

Jisung tenses. Clenches. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Um, I’m leaking?”

He has the cutest damn look on his face. A cross between being grossed out and a pout. Minho laughs.

“Sorry, baby. Lemme grab a towel.” He turns over, rummaging around until he finds what he’s looking for.

“Here.” He puts it between his legs, making sure it catches what it needs to. He grabs the covers, pulling them over both of them, then snuggling him close, loving the warmth of their bodies against one another.

“Is it always going to be like this, Min?” He glances over his shoulder. 

“What do you mean?”

“This…this need to be touching you. Have you on me. In me.” 

A look of realization.

“You feel it too. I thought it was just me. The first time…no, before that. When I realized the feelings, I - I wanted to be near you, touching you…if I could have climbed into your chest, I would have, just to be with you all the time. I don’t know if it will always be like this, but you’re not alone. I thought it would stop once we…once I got inside you. But I still feel it.” He hits his chest with a closed fist, over his heart. “Right here.” 

“Yes. That’s it exactly.” He yawns. Pushes back into Minho, trying to get even closer, chasing the heat of him. 

“Lie here with me, Kitty?” 

They wake up a few hours later, Jisung still getting that happy feeling that he is waking up next to Minho, again. Spending all this time together. The intimacy of it. He feels…peaceful. It makes him a little anxious, actually. 

He tugs Minho closer, wrapping his arms around him tightly, nose at his neck, nuzzling into him. Minho smiles, thinking that he could get used to this. 

“Make me breakfast, Minhoooooo,” Jisung whines. “I burned a lot of energy.” His eyes are big. Innocent. 

“My little baby. What am I going to do with you?” He’s so fond, grinning like a fool at Jisung. “I guess I’ll make you something. What do I get in return?” He smirks, not expecting his response. 

Jisung taps his finger at his temple. “Hmmm…what do you get in return? For feeding this cute me?” He runs his fingers up Minho’s abs. Scooches up the bed so he’s right at Minho’s ear. “You can eat me out later.” 

Minho grabs him by the ass. Holds him in place. “Don’t tease me, Princess,” he growls back at him.

He pulls back so he can look Minho in the face. “Trust me. I’m not teasing. Now feed me, Kitty. Before we can’t leave the bed.”

He looks down, feeling himself starting to get hard. It takes everything in him to make himself roll away from Minho and leave the bed. He stands, back turned to him, and arches his back. Naked as the day he was born. He hears Minho groan. He’s a tease, he can’t help himself. He runs his hands down his sides, then over his ass, head turned over his shoulder enough to be able to see Minho’s reaction. He’s watching. Encouraged, Sungie turns and strokes himself, making sure Minho can see the show. He’s getting a good side view, can see where he’s filling out, his hand moving over himself. “Kitty.” He starts walking away, half hoping Minho will grab him and toss him back on the bed. He doesn’t. He just lays there. Dark eyes roaming over his body, his thoughts clear as day on his face. 

“Later, baby. I have plans for you. I think it may be time to teach you a lesson about what happens when you tease me.”

Jisung goes to his own room, uses the bathroom, brushes his teeth and gets dressed in comfy clothes. MInho does the same. They meet in the kitchen.

“What are you going to make?”

“I want something simple. I was thinking rice, eggs and kimchi. How does that sound?” They’re touching again. Like magnets, they’re pulled together. 

“That sounds good.” 

Minho picks him up and plants him on the counter, walks to the fridge to get the ingredients out. “Sit there and look pretty, baby. I’m gonna cook.” 

Jisung smiles. “You think I’m pretty…tell me again.” 

He walks back over to Jisung, right into the space between his long legs. Puts his arms around him, kisses up his neck. “You’re the prettiest Princess I’ve ever seen. You’re beautiful, baby. I love looking at you. And I love that I get to touch you like this.” He steps back a little, to punctuate his next word. “Mine.” 

Jisung gets that silly, happy look on his face. “Yours. And you’re mine.”

“Always, baby. Yours.”

After they finish eating Jisung texts Felix and asks him to meet for coffee later in the day. He asks him to bring Hyunjin along. Minho does the same with Chan. 

It’s about 3pm when they all get to the cafe. They place their orders. The barista is the same guy who flirted with Jisung a few days back. It feels like forever ago.

“You doing better, cutie?” Jisung smiles and puts his arm around Minho, pulling him in front of the register to answer the question.

“I am. And this is the reason I was upset and now the reason I’m so much better.” The barista smiles at him, happy that he’s not so down anymore. 

“Hey, I just want to say that you look great today. I love the outfit! The skirt suits you,” he says. Jisung blushes, and looks down at himself. Today he’s wearing the grey and pink plaid pleated skirt, the one that has the lace at the hem, with a short sleeve, not-quite-cropped button down shirt in the same pink. If he raises his arms at all the dangling pink piercing at his bellybutton shows. On his feet are his black Docs with the pink stitching, worn over pink knee socks. As the barista looks him up and down, Jisung sees him get caught on his chest. He has his piercings in with nothing over them. The shirt is cut slim enough that they show a little against the fabric. Minho assured him that they look good…by sucking on them and telling him how fucking sexy he is, almost making them late. The guy just winks at Jisung and casually tells Minho what a lucky guy he is. Minho has to agree. The interaction makes him a little jealous, so he pulls Sungie closer to him and drops a lingering kiss on his lips, then smirks. 

They all go and sit at a large table outside. The sun is shining and it’s a gorgeous, warm day. Minho and Jisung sit next to each other, with the other men sitting across the table from them, Chan, Felix then Hyunjin. 

“We wanted to talk to you guys,” Jisung says, hand wrapped in Minho’s. “About us, mostly.” 

“Us?” Chan asks, eyes directed at Minho, then their hands. “There’s an us?”

They both break out into grins, looking at each other, squeezing their clasped hands, then looking back at Chan.

“Yeah, us,” Minho says. They can all hear the happiness in his voice, see the joy sparking in his eyes at his words. 

Chaos breaks out.

“WHAT? Ji, why didn’t you tell me?” Felix comes over and pulls Sungie into a huge hug, Felix’s face somewhere between shock and awe. “I’m so happy for you two!” He puts his mouth close to Jisung’s ear, this message just for him, “And for you Sungie. I know how much you’ve wanted this, and for how long. I’m just so, so thrilled for you.” Jisung throws his arms around Felix in return, “Me too, Fifi…me too. I’ll have to tell you all the horny details soon. I’m, ah, no longer a virgin.” Felix squeals. “What! We are definitely having coffee tomorrow, Ji. I need details!”

Chan has also gotten up, going over to Minho to express his excitement over the news. “I’m really proud of you, Min. You realized what you wanted and you put in the work to get it. You two deserve all the happiness,” he says as he hugs Minho. It’s rare for Minho to accept touch from anyone but Jisung, but he allows it this time, even pulling Chan a little closer. “Thank you for your help, Chan,” he whispers, “I wouldn’t be sitting here without you.” 

Hyunjin is sitting, quietly smiling at them, but also wondering what else is coming. He quietly tells them both, “I’m really happy for you. You make a beautiful couple, and I can see how happy you are.” It was very Hyunjin-like.

While Jisung is hugging Felix, Hyunjin catches Min’s eye to mouth, “Does he know?” Min nods his head. Shrugs his shoulders as if to say, “Yeah, but everything is okay, don’t worry about it.” 

“Thanks, you guys. We’re…happy. It’s still very new, and we have things to discuss, but these past couple days have been very, very good.” Jisung looks around the table, ecstatic to be able to share this with his friends. 

“We do have a question, though,” Minho pipes up and puts it out there.

“Which one of you is 3catdad?” Gasps. “Who?” Okay, so two of them are shocked at the question, good information to have, he thinks to himself. 

“I’d really like to know,” Jisung says, meeting the gaze of each of the men across the table. “I shared some really personal information and images with him, and I know it has to be someone in this group. Something he said to me when we talked the other night was way too specific to not be someone who doesn’t know all of us personally. Soooo…which one of you is it?” 

All three of them look at each other, wondering who it is. 

“I’m not mad, so whoever it is, please don’t think I’ll be upset with you. I really just want to know.” Jisung looks around again. 

Minho says, “I want to know, too. It…it will help me to know.”

“Okay, let’s start with this, since none of you are being very forthcoming. Hyunjin, how did you know about my streaming?” Jisung pins him with his gaze.

Hyunjin flushes. “Um.” He looks at the others. “I, uh, found his stream by accident, back when he first started streaming. I was horny one night and looking through streams on the app when I came across his. His whole persona was cute, his body is banging, and I liked listening to his stories. I guess I grew a little attached to the stream because he would always drop bits of information about himself. I’m not sure if he even knew he was doing it. It was…I dunno, I just liked it. He seemed really nice, down to earth. So relatable. Did I mention his body?”

He laughs. Now blushing more than flushing, if we’re being honest.

“I can’t even pinpoint how I figured out it was him. It might have been that stream where his “roommate” barged in. After Sungie started the stream again, he started to say his roommate’s name, “my Min-” then just said roommate or something. I guess it tickled my brain. Then I started really paying attention and his way of speaking, the things he talked about, his hands, even the flooring I could see sometimes in the streams, one day I realized that I knew who it was. I didn’t want to embarrass you, Sungie, so I didn’t say anything. I figured if you wanted people to know then you’d have invited us to watch. I knew you and Minho had been skirting around each other for years and that night at the club, I couldn’t believe what I was watching when you guys were dancing. I really thought you two were going to fuck right there on the dance floor. It was so beautiful. Hyung looked at you like you were the only thing keeping him alive. Like his next meal. Like every constellation spelled your name.” 

He pauses. Shakes his head.

“I was so drunk that night. Then when you and Felix went off and talked, I went over to hyung. I figured if anyone knew he would. He told me that he didn’t know for sure, but he definitely suspected something like that. So I explained what I’d seen and how I knew it was you. Then I asked Felix about it.”

Jisung doesn’t know why he’s not upset. He thinks maybe he should be, but he just isn’t. He put himself in this situation by making the decision to stream. He knew he might be perceived by people he knows and was willing to take that chance. 

He looks over at Felix, who is looking back at him with wide eyes.

“Ji. Please let me explain.” Jisung nods. Waits. “He asked me. Caught me completely off guard. And he already knew. So I told him about it. And we were drunk. I knew he wouldn’t tell anyone. I didn’t know he’d already talked to Minho, though. I actually just found that part out,” he says as he swivels to stare at Hyunjin, squinting as if it would make everything clearer. “He’s the only person I told. I promise.” 

“It’s okay, Fifi,” softening his gaze at his friend. “I understand.”

“I’m sorry, Sungie. You were doing what now?” Chan’s voice is sharp, thinned by the shock that he’s trying to swallow. “Why? I don’t understand.” He doesn’t say it in a way that makes Jisung feel judged. It’s truly that he doesn’t understand. 

He can’t look at Chan. “There’s a lot about me you don’t know, Channie-hyung. Let’s just say this was something I needed to do for myself, to help get what I needed when I couldn’t get it elsewhere. It was a safe way for me to explore some things. That’s really all anyone needs to know.”

His voice is strong, leaving no room for questions or arguments. He peeks over, needing to see Chan’s face even though he really doesn’t want to. All he sees is an openness. One of his oldest friends trying to find his way through his own confusion to understand and support Jisung.

“Thank you, hyung. I know it’s a lot.” 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you, Sungie. I didn’t know. Not sure how I could have helped, but I would have tried,” Chan says. 

Jisung shakes his head. “No, hyung, it’s okay. It isn’t something you could have helped with. I’ve talked to Felix a lot about this. I had the support I needed. I’m good.” Chan nods. 

“Alright, I want to know. Which of you is it?” Minho is looking between Felix and Hyunjin.

“Spill.”

Chapter 35: 35 - I Like The Way You Walk

Summary:

Jisung and Minho find out about catdad.
Jisung has something to show Minho.

Chapter title from American Girls by ONE OK ROCK.

Felix and Hyunjin look at each other, unsure what to do. They look at Chan. “Nope, don’t look at me. I have no idea what a 3catdad is.”

Felix tilts his head down and stares at the table. Lays his hands flat on it. Takes a deep breath. Lets it out slowly. Starts speaking, voice low. 

“I-I never thought it would go this far. It wasn’t anything planned.”

He looks at Jisung, a faint crease forming between his brows.

“When you first started streaming I told a few people about your stream, to help you get off the ground. I knew the kind of support you needed, the kind of people you would want subscribing, and I knew these guys would give you that. I obviously didn’t tell them who you are, just that I’d found this new streamer and I thought they’d like him. You.” He shakes his head. “I forgot about it for a while. Things seemed to be going well with your stream, you were getting what you needed to some degree. I felt like you were figuring some stuff out about yourself, and you were doing it in a way where you weren’t going to get hurt. You and I talked enough that I felt like I knew what was going on, even behind the scenes with messaging subscribers privately. And I was there for all of your streams, so I picked up on who you liked and who you didn’t. You were easy to read because I know you so well. Do you know what I mean, Ji?” 

Jisung nods. Face a bit shuttered. Trying to hear what’s behind Felix’s words as much as the words themselves. He wonders if there’s pity there, but hopes not. He doesn’t want to be pitied. 

“Time went on, and while you weren’t getting what you wanted from Minho, you were starting to make friends outside our circle, and connections to people who might be able to give you what you weren’t getting. I wasn’t necessarily trying to set you up with anyone, I just wanted you to see that there are people outside the limited circle of people we see who would find you attractive, and maybe you’d find them attractive too, and want to try to be with someone who wasn’t Minho again. I didn’t actively do anything, I just kinda set the wheels in motion, I guess. And they were people who I knew in the community, you know what I mean, who maybe shared some of the same, er, ideas about certain things that you do.”

He looks around the table to check the expressions of his friends. Hoping they understand.

“Then you started talking about him, 3catdad, and I remembered that was the username of one of the guys I’d told about your stream. He’s really nice, definitely into the things you’re into, actually does have cats and works in the same fields that we all do. So he understands the constraints that we have and how to navigate them. He actually reminds me a lot of Minho-hyung, now that I’m thinking about it. A lot.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me you knew him when I started mentioning him?” Jisung is curious…not necessarily mad, but he needs to understand.

“I guess I didn’t think it really mattered. I felt confident in you and your ability to decide whether you wanted to go further with him, and I knew if you told him no to anything that he wouldn’t push you. Like I said, he’s a genuinely nice guy. Then you told me that he’d actually checked in on you after a stream, making sure you were okay. He was always complimenting you, praising you, asking what you wanted instead of telling you what to do. He was giving you what you were looking for, nicely and safely. Who was I to mess with that? That I know him didn’t play a part in it because the relationship between you was something the two of you built together; it was nothing to do with me. And you seemed happy and I didn’t want to mess that up. Then he sent you the package of stuff, and again, you were happy, and maybe not thinking about Minho and what you didn’t have with him as much.” Felix is back to looking down at the table. He’s uncomfortable because he knows what he is saying might be hurtful to Minho, and the last thing he wants to do is hurt his friends. 

“Minho, none of this is meant to hurt you. I hope you know that. I want to be as straightforward about what happened as I can, and you play a part in this, even if you didn’t know it at the time.”

“I really do understand, Felix. It hurts to hear this because I was blind or lying to myself, and in turn hurt Sungie, but it’s part of the story, and we can’t change it, no matter how much I’d like to. So please, say what you need to explain this.” Minho is happy that he’s able to acknowledge the feelings he has upon hearing what Felix has to say. 

“Thanks, Min.” Felix continues. “I know you took some pictures of the outfit he got you and the other thing. You were feeling confident in yourself. I was so proud of you, and really fucking happy about it, to be honest. It’d been a while since I’d seen you feeling so good about yourself. I know you were still confused about things with Minho, but catdad seemed to even it out a bit. And he even offered to talk through the stuff about Minho, which I thought was really nice. At the time, I thought it was a good idea. Someone uninvolved with the situation for the most part might give a new perspective on things. Then stuff started happening with Minho, but things were also happening with catdad. I knew you wanted to hear his opinion on your “roommate situation” but I think there were other things you wanted to hear from him, too. And I wasn’t sure if him telling you his opinion on your private life was going to help or confuse, so I told you I wasn’t sure about getting his opinion on it anymore. I don’t think you ever did, right?”

Jisung shakes his head. “No, we didn’t talk about that during that conversation we had the other night. It was just getting to know one another and the other thing.”

“The other thing…” Chan says, not sure what they’re talking about.

“Um, just, well…uh…” Jisung can’t figure out how to explain it without embarrassing both of them. “Private stuff,” he says, face now burning.

“Ah, okay, got it. No need to explain further,” Chan chokes out, ears red.

“Sorry, Channie-hyung,” Felix says. “I don’t mean to embarrass you or expose you to things about our Jisungie that might be, er, shocking.” He grins. Continues. 

“It seems like you haven’t messaged with catdad in a couple days, at least you haven’t said anything to me. Of course, I don’t think you’ve said much to anyone but Min for a couple days,” Felix laughs. 

“No, that’s probably true. I haven’t really surfaced…we’ve been in our own little world since we talked the other day. I need to message him.”

Jisung feels…guilty, he thinks. He only told catdad that he would let him know when he would be free, and it’s only been a couple days, so it’s probably fine. But he does need to message him in the next day or so. Tell him that the roommate issue has been solved, and that he is in a relationship now. He and Min still need to talk, discuss next steps for his streaming and people he’s become friends with because of his streaming. He knows Min is a jealous person, but that doesn’t mean that Jisung has to give up his friends. They will work it out. 

“Is that all of it, Felix?” Minho wants to get all the info and be done with this whole thing. It makes him feel weird to hear about Sungie being involved with someone else. He can understand how Jisung must have felt thinking about him dating or having sex with other people. Because Minho fucking hates it. Never wants to think about it again.

“Yeah, Min. Jisung. That’s it.” He locks gazes with Jisung. “Ji-Ji, I hope you know I didn’t keep this from you to hurt you. I just didn’t think it would make any difference if you knew I knew the guy or not.”

“I understand, Fifi. Thank you for explaining. Um, why were you and Hyunjin looking at each other when Min told you to spill it?”

“Fuck.” It’s Hyunjin’s turn to look uncomfortable. “I, um, know who he is too. At first I thought it was Minho-hyung, because I was watching those streams too, and the way the guy talks is a lot like Min. And then his username being 3catdad? I mean, come on. Minho has 3 cats! And it was you, Sungie. Again, I thought if anyone would know what you were doing it would be him. But I didn’t know who it was for sure until I talked to Felix the night we went to the club. And then, like he said, it didn’t really matter if I knew him because one, you guys basically fucked on the dance floor so the thing with 3catdad wasn’t likely to last after that happened, and two, even if I know him, it’s not my relationship. If he were a bad guy, I would have definitely said something and Felix would have too. But he’s not, and your relationship with him isn’t my business. I really shouldn’t have even known. It’s all just by chance that I found your stream anyway.”

“Everything you guys are saying makes sense,” Jisung says, “but I think maybe I wish you’d told me? I’m not sure. Like you said, you knowing him doesn’t mean anything because you aren’t part of the relationship. I dunno. I’m not sure how much I’m going to think about this. At least not right now."

“Felix,” Jisung says, “how hurt do you think he’s going to be when I tell him I can’t talk to him anymore, at least not like that?”

“I dunno, Ji. He seemed pretty into you, but he’s also a realist, and knew you were in a relationship of some sort with Minho. I think he’ll be as graceful about this as he is about everything else. He may not want to talk to you for a bit, but if you want to be friends with him, I think he’d want that too.” 

“Thanks, Felix. That helps a lot.”

Jisung turns to Minho. “Kitty, you know we’re going to need to talk about all this, right?”

“I know, Bug. I’m already preparing myself for it.” He brings Sungie’s hand up to his lips and kisses the back of it. “It’s okay. We can do it, right, baby?”

“Yours, Min. Always.” Jisung smiles at him.

“Mine. And yours, Sungie. Always,”

It’s almost 7pm when they get home. After they finished up with their friends at the cafe, reassuring everyone that their friendships were as strong as ever and nobody was upset, they stopped at the grocery store for ingredients for dinner and to stock up on snacks. They’d decided to either watch more episodes of an anime or a movie. 

“Min, I’m not really hungry enough for dinner. Do you want something?” 

“No, Sungie. I’m good with eating snacks.”

“Okay, I’ll get them ready.”

“Can you put those bows in your hair, baby?” Minho smirks. “I’m actually kind of serious. They looked cute. I want to fuck you with them in your hair.”

Jisung sputters. Makes a command decision. “You’re in for it now! I’m going to take a shower, Kitty. We’ll eat these snacks later. You might want to, uh, get ready too.” He gives him a look as he stalks off to his bathroom to shower. While he’s in there he shaves and makes sure everything is as smooth as he likes it. When he gets out, he blow dries his hair, brushes his teeth and puts cologne on. He always puts some at his wrists, neck and crotchal area. He puts on the outfit that came in the mail the other day. 

“Kitty? Where are you? I’m ready for you,” he yells. 

“I’m in the living room. Sitting on the couch. Waiting for you. Again. What took you so lo-”

Minho stops. Literally just stops when he sees Jisung. 

In his hair are kitty ears. Cat nipple piercings. Cat belly piercing. Teeny, tiny panties in the same cat fur pattern as the ears. 

He turns around. Minho trips over his next breath. Tries to suck in air and fails. 

Through a hole in the back of the panties is a cat tail. Not connected to the panties. Minho hopes. Would die a happy man right now if he actually knew. 

“Come to bed, Kitty. I have something for you.” Jisung smirks. Turns and walks slowly to the bedroom, ass cupped perfectly by the panties, tail swishing with each move of his hips. 

He stops. Cocks his head. Puts a hand to his ear. Does not hear footsteps trailing behind him. 

He turns his head slightly, just enough to look over his shoulder. Min is sitting on the couch. Motionless. Breath caught. Eyes wide. 

Jisung gives a sultry laugh. Makes eye contact with Minho.

“You coming, Kitty?”

Chapter 36: 36 - See Everything That You Really Fucking Are

Summary:

Minho and Jisung try some new stuff in bed.
Jisung reaches out to catdad.

Chapter title from C.U.R.I.O.U.S.I.T.Y by ONE OK ROCK.

He hears the words, “You coming, Kitty?” but he can’t make sense of them. All that exists in his world right now is Jisung’s ass in the tiny panties, and that fucking tail swishing behind him. 

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

Jisung walks back over to him. His stomach at eye level. His honey skin in his face. He gets a close up look at the bellybutton piercing he’s chosen. It’s silver with a clear crystal at the top. The dangling part is a silver cat with elongated, almost alien shaped eyes, and a swirling tail. It glints in the light, as if to tease him. He feels fingers carding through his hair. Then a tug. A pull. His eyes are still glued to Sungie’s body. 

A finger under his chin, forcing his head up. Big eyes, looking down at him. Beautifully lined with brown, making them look even larger, even rounder than usual. Glitter at the tops of his full cheeks, a darker color than usual on his lips. 

“Minho. Look at me.” He does. 

“What’s going on in there?” His eyes drift back down Jisung’s body, brain trying to come up with any kind of answer. He wants him so badly but maybe that’s what’s wrong? His thoughts flare, scattering as he tries to choke out a response. 

“I-I…you, I…” He stops trying to speak. Instead he does. Putting his thighs to good use, he shoots up so he’s standing in front of Sungie. He picks him up, throws him over his shoulder, prowls to his room. He checks the room for cats, sees none, kicks the door shut behind him. His babies don’t need to see what he’s going to do to this baby. 

“Lee Minho! What the hell!” Jisung screeches. “Put me down!” He pounds his fists against Minho’s back and butt, whatever he can reach. He’s not trying very hard. But he’s getting hard. “I’m supposed to be in charge,” he whines loudly, face bouncing lightly against Min.

Very carefully, and with great restraint, he puts Jisung down on his feet, against the door. He leans forward, making sure his lips are against the shell of Jisung’s ear. “Are you sure that’s what you want, tiny kitten?” A question. Simple. But the way he says it…the sound of his voice so dark, so tempting. As if to say let me give you what you know you want, what I know you want. Someone to tell you what to do, praise you…worship you.

Jisung melts into the door. A loud whimper torn from him. His thighs clench. Cock throbs. “Min,” he whispers, eyes round. A sulk twisting his plush mouth. 

He needs to think. He had a plan. Wanted to ruin his Kitty. Wreck him. 

He already did, just with the outfit. He can work with this.

In the space of a thought, his decision is made. 

“How do you know me so well,” he whispers. Looking through Min. Looking at him. 

“Because you’ve been mine forever,” he whispers back. The string between them pulled taut with the knowing. 

“I have. I wanted…for so long.”

“I know, baby. I’m sorry.”

Jisung shakes his head. His voice little more than smoke. “We’re us now. It’s okay.” 

He breathes. “You’re right,” he says quietly, “this is what I want.” 

Presses in. Presses against. Him. 

“I’m ready for this. For you.”

Minho closes his eyes slowly. Breathes in. Opens them. Nods his head once. 

Voice rough, like metal over glass. “What’s the safe word.”

Earlier that morning

“Minho,” Jisung pauses while bringing a bite of rice and egg with kimchi on top to his mouth, “I was wondering if we could talk about uh, sex. Like, not vanilla sex. Is that something you’d be comfortable talking about with me?” His eyes flick to Min’s face. Jisung puts the food in his mouth, chewing, waiting for his response. 

Minho blinks, absorbing the question, formulating his answer. 

He nods. “Sure, Sungie, we can talk about it. Is there something you’re interested in trying together? Or maybe somethings?”

Jisung looks down at his food, putting together another perfect bite. He eats it, taking the few seconds it offers him to think about what he wants to say. He’s definitely interested in what he guesses what would be considered BDSM, but he’s not sure if Minho is or not. And he already feels like he might fall outside of your typical sexual desires, and doesn’t want Minho to think he’s weird or be put off by them.

He finishes chewing. Swallows his food. 

“Yes, I’m interested in things. I feel nervous to tell you, though.”

“That’s okay, baby. How about I tell you things that I like or want to try with you?”

Jisung nods, feeling much more comfortable about the conversation now that Minho is offering to put himself out there first. “Y-yes, I’d like that.”

“Hmmm…things I like. Well, I’m skilled in shibari. Do you know what that is?”

Jisung nods, “I know what shibari is. It’s rope bondage that can make patterns and designs, right?” 

“Yep. I think it would look beautiful on you, Sungie.” Minho looks at him like he’s imagining the rope designs he would use, and how his skin would look once he removes the ropes, too. 

“Do you think you’d like to try being tied up?”

Jisung nods his head quickly, before Minho even finishes the sentence. “Yes. I want to try that.” He ducks his head, cheeks pink. “But, um, could we start with something small? Like maybe just my wrists?”

“Good boy, baby. You should always tell me what you want, what your boundaries are. I want you to feel safe exploring these things.”

“Something else I like is impact play,” Minho tells him.”I prefer to use either my hand or a paddle, sometimes a flogger. I’ve never used a whip, and it’s not something I’m interested in. What do you think about any of those?”

“Oh! Yes, I really liked it when you spanked me.” He wiggles in his seat, eyes pinched in concentration, trying to describe why he likes it. “I like the sting of it, then how it builds up when you do it again in the same spot. But I also liked when you rubbed over the spot, like trying to soothe it, I guess? And maybe if you kissed it. I think I’d leave it up to you to decide what to use, as long as it gives that nice sting.”

“Ok, that’s good info, Sungie. What about being blindfolded?”

Jisung finishes his breakfast and takes his plate to the sink. When he comes back he comes up behind Minho, bending down to hook his chin over his shoulder while Minho finishes his breakfast. He nuzzles into Min’s neck, speaking. 

“I think I might like for you to make me wear a blindfold.” He pauses, a few ideas having popped into his head, feeling much more comfortable with the conversation now. 

“Would you use nipple clamps on me? I, um, have some. I wonder if there’s body jewelry I could get to attach the clamps to my frenum piercing or something.” 

“I like being praised, which you already know. Can you do it more? And I really like dirty talk. And I’d be interested in you using wax on me, maybe?” He giggles, feeling kind of shy.

“Min, is all that okay?” His voice is a whisper, even though they’re the only people there.

“Sungie,” he looks at him with a sweet, sly grin on his face, “baby, yes. I’m glad you told me all that. I want to make you feel good, and I want to do all that with you. And more. The world is a big place and we’re just getting started. So how about we start with these, and when you’re ready, we can add other things?”

Jisung walks around Minho and straddles him in the chair. “Thank you, Kitty. For making this so easy.” He tucks in close and rests their foreheads together.

“Baby, I don’t think you realize that I’m the lucky one here. You’re amazing.”

 

“Yellow if we need to slow down, but not stop. Red if we need to stop immediately.”

“Perfect, baby.”

“Sungie, I’d like you to go sit on the bed. I need to get a few things.”

“Can I have a kiss first, please? I-I’m a little anxious.”

Minho pushes him back to the door again, hands on either side of his face. He uses his body to press heavily against him, the deep pressure calming to Sungie’s system. He brushes their lips together, then deepens the kiss. They stay like that until he hears that familiar sigh and knows that he’s gotten what he needed. They break apart. 

Jisung brushes a hand over Minho’s cheek in thanks as he walks over to sit on the bed.

When Minho comes back into the room a few minutes later, he finds Jisung sitting exactly where he left him, kitty tail over one thigh, hands stroking through it. He glances up at him through his lashes, shy smile on his face. 

“What’s that for?” He nods at the items Min has in his hands. 

“We’re going to try a few things, see what we like. Is that okay?”

Jisung nods, hands going faster over the tail. 

Minho puts the small pile on the floor next to the bed and sinks to his knees in front of Jisung. 

“Put your arms out, palms facing each other.” Minho starts wrapping the black rope he chose around Jisung’s wrists, forming a double column shibari weave. It’s a fairly simple restraint technique, and the black pops against Jisung’s beautiful skin tone. 

As he’s creating the restraint he notices Sungie’s thighs clenching together. He sees him watching. Feels him testing the strength of it after Minho is done. “How does it feel, my pretty Kitty? Tight enough? Too tight?”

Eyes round, Jisung peers up at him. “It-It’s, ah, I like it. Tightness is good.”

“Good baby. That’s good.” Min looks at the other stuff he brought with him. “Do you want to be blindfolded?” 

Jisung nods.

“Words, Sungie?”

“Yes, blindfold, please.” He waits patiently for Minho to pluck it from the pile, bring the black silky fabric to his hands so he can feel it before it’s tied across his eyes. He can still see light around the bottom, which makes him comfortable with leaving it on. 

“What do you think? Leave it on, baby?”

“Yes.”

He feels the bed move and the covers shift. “I’m just moving the sheet and blankets down the bed, then I’ll help you move to where I want you.” Jisung nods. 

Jisung feels arms around his shoulders and under his thighs, air rushing past him as he’s moved further onto the bed. 

“Up on your knees.” 

The mattress in front of him dips, cold metal at his nipples, settling behind his piercings. He can’t help the small moan that drips from him as the clamps close tightly around him. The mattress moves again. He hears a small beep. Then the dull thud of fabric hitting the floor.

“Can I start, Sungie?” Minho’s voice coming from behind him.

“Yes. Please.”

“Ah, one more thing. Do I have your permission to take pictures of you?”

Jisung sucks in a breath, thinking. “What are you going to do with them?”

“Just keep them for me, for us, if you want to look at them, too. You’re so gorgeous, baby. I love this outfit on you.”

“Yes, but if I don’t like any of them, you’ll delete them?”

“Absolutely, baby. You have my word.”

“Okay. Can you touch me now?” 

Jisung is on his knees. Kitty ears on his head, blindfold over his eyes, wrists woven together and hanging in front of him. From behind, Minho can see the sinfully small panties digging into Jisung’s well shaped ass and that fucking distracting cat tail, trailing over Jisung’s calf. 

Jisung is a feast in front of him. So delicately built despite his musculature. He’s a petite person, and it makes Minho feel solid by comparison. Jisung’s slightness sparks an instinct Minho can’t name, just feels. Heavy. Grounding. Territorial.

Minho is ready to feel Jisung’s skin beneath his fingertips. He lays his hands on either side of his neck, just under his jaw. His fingers are gentle, playing in patterns down and around it, downward to his shoulders. The skin here is different, a little more texture. He massages into the muscle there, feeling the way it gives under his touch, the way Jisung’s breath catches. His fingertips drift forward, finding the swells of his pecs, his piercings and the clamps behind them. It’s only been a few minutes since he put them on him, but this is new for them, and he needs to see the reaction. He moves closer to Sungie, his own knees in between Jisung’s, until his chest is against Jisung’s back and his cock is bumping up against where the tail comes out of the panties. His breath catches at the contact and he has to stop himself from rubbing up against him. This is about Jisung. Giving him the space to explore. 

Solid heat crowds Jisung close from behind. Minho’s thumb swipes over his nipple, rough and quick. His back arches, chasing the contact, already needy and unthinking. Another touch, this time the other side, pulling then rubbing, as if to soothe. 

“I’m going to take a clamp off,” words barely a breath in his ear. Pressure, then tingling, then…”Oh…” Another touch there, the flat of a finger. “Yes, Min, more, please.” 

“So sensitive here, baby,” he intones against his neck. He repeats the motion, a little harder, this time adding a light pinch at the end. “Ah…hah…that’s,” he nods instead of continuing. Minho uses the tip of his tongue to lightly lick down his neck, fingers playing with the nipple that still has the clamp on it. “Minho!” Jisung gives a full body shiver. “Hmmm? That good, little kitty?” Jisung’s head moves up and down in quick, desperate flicks. “You’re doing a good job telling me that you like what I’m doing,” he murmurs at his ear. 

Minho can’t stop touching his nipples for long. He loves that he has the barbells to play with too. Soon Sungie is mewling at every touch - rough, light, pinch, roll, pull; it doesn’t matter. Hips thrusting forward gently, coupled hands coming up as if to grab, then dropping back down because he can’t. 

A quiet chirp somewhere in the background. Jisung barely notices it, but Minho does. “Stop moving.” Jisung whines, but stops immediately. “You’re doing so well for me, baby.” 

Minho turns the timer off. Comes back to where he was, behind Jisung and removes the other nipple clamp. He explains, “We don’t leave these on for more than 10 minutes at a time right now.” Jisung wants to respond that he’s used them before, but he hears the care and concern in Minho’s tone, and doesn’t want to argue. He just nods. Waits. 

Min stays behind him, kissing the back of his neck while he pets over the nipple he just removed the clamp from. Jisung tilts his head, offering more of his neck while pushing forward with his chest, into Minho’s hand. Minho stills for a beat, then palms Sungie’s pec, grabbing hard, fingers digging in. Jisung wavers on his knees, just slightly, because the pain feels good. “More, please.” Minho gives him what he asked for. But he’s not done.

Min moves back a couple of inches, so he can reach Sungie’s back with his lips. He starts at his shoulders, biting, leaving marks. “You taste so good, Princess.” A whine in response. Minho’s hands travel down his body, playing over his tight abs. “Your body is so pretty. I love the way you care for yourself.” Jisung’s arms come up again, trying uselessly to grab onto Minho, but there’s not enough room between them. He’s frustrated, lets out a noise. “Do you want me to untie you, baby,” Minho asks him softly. 

“N-No! No,” scream to a whimper, “p-please don’t.” 

“You’re so good like this, Sungie.”

Minho brings his naked body back against Jisung’s, hands still at his abs, rubbing against him like a cat, starting low and moving up, until his cock is hung right under the swell of his ass. He stops his own body and glides his fingers down, straight over the front of those panties. Jisung thrusts up into the touch, moaning. “Yes…please. I need…please touch me. I want you. Kitty, please.” The last word leaves his mouth, broken, pleading. 

Minho is not unaffected. He takes a moment, a breath, to remind himself that this is about Jisung’s pleasure, and that he’ll get his own soon. 

“I know, sweetheart,” he coos at the request. “Soon, I promise. I’ll fuck you soon.” Jisung pushes his ass back into Minho at the words, “Promise?” 

“Yes,” he promises as he palms Jisung over his panties. His cock is straining against the fabric, the panties themselves almost too small to contain him. The fabric is damp from where he’s been leaking pre-cum. 

He reaches behind himself, patting around until he finds his phone. He sits up higher on his knees and puts the phone over Sungie’s shoulder, aiming down his body to take a photo of how he looks so pretty in the underwear, cock snugged up against his body, head red and wet. “You’re so pretty here, Sungie,” he says as he clicks the shutter with one hand, other hand still touching. He takes a few photos then moves the camera to take a picture of the back of him. “So pretty everywhere, baby. My pretty, pretty Princess.” 

Jisung’s breath hitches at the name, head falling back onto Min’s shoulder, lips searching, finding his neck. The angle is bad, but he gets his point across. Min adjusts them so he can bring their lips together in a bruising kiss. At the same time he grabs his ass with both hands, grip tight, grinds against him, his cock sliding under his ass, his balls. He jerks with the sensation, breathing ragged. “Min,” a plaintive cry. 

“Do you feel what you do to me,” grinding against him again. “I can’t wait to be inside you, baby.” 

His hand finds the front of him again, rubbing roughly against his cock. So many thoughts are running through Minho’s mind, all the things he could be doing to him, wants to be doing to him. We have time for all that. Calm down, Minho, he tells himself. 

He dips inside the underwear, hand continuing down until he locates it. Warm. Metal. He pulls down on the ring, hears Jisung cry out. “Can I touch myself, please?” He sounds raw, used. “No, you may not. That’s for me to touch. Only me.” 

“Minho, please!” Jisung needs to be touched. “I need it.” He’s desperate. Frustrated. 

He pushes his finger down the back of Jisung’s underwear, following his ass crack until he finds what he’s looking for. He pushes. “Nghhh…how-how did you know?” 

“What? That this tail was attached to a plug?”

Jisung nods.

“I didn’t. I hoped. And I was right. I usually am about you, aren’t I, tiny kitty?” He moves the plug again. 

“I’m taking these off you now. Lie down.”

Jisung does the best he can, his hands being tied together make it slightly more difficult. Minho helps him by arranging his body like he wants it on the bed. He pulls the panties down in one swift motion, Jisung’s cock caught for a moment, then slapping harshly against his stomach. His hips buck up. 

“Color, baby?”

“Green,” he mumbles out. “Green, Min.” He shivers, whole body quaking with it. 

“Good boy. So good for me.” He looks down at the body laid out before him. “Oh, baby,” he says, voice sweet and syrupy, “look at you.” He takes a nipple between his fingers, to emphasize his next words. “They’re all red and puffy.” He pinches it. Jisung arches, yelps. “Should I play with your pretty tits more? I think I will.” At that he bends over and takes one in his mouth, playing the other with his fingers. He sucks, pinches, bites, twists. Noises pouring out of Jisung, hips thrusting up into nothing. Minho notices. 

He moves to lay between Jisung’s parted thighs, fingers still tormenting his nipples. With no warning at all he licks him from the edge of the plug up to the tip of his dick, tongue stopping to play in the slit, ravenous for the liquid beads that have gathered there, moaning at the taste. “FUCK,” Jisung yells at the sensation. He tries to close his legs.

Minho takes him to the base, one hand toying with the plug, the other grasping harshly at the meat of his thigh. He pops off his cock, spit webbing from his mouth. “Jisung,” he says, tone forceful, “keep your thighs open or you will not come tonight.” 

He whimpers, confused.  “B-but I-I’m good. Right? Your good boy. You said I’m good, Min.”

“Yes, you’re my good, pretty boy. Keep your legs open for me,” tone still firm, less sharp. He lowers his face and gives kitten licks to Jisung’s pulsing cock. Pushes the plug into him again. He pulls the tail down so it drapes between his legs, then over his thigh. Picks up his phone again and takes more pictures. “You’re so beautiful. I can’t wait for you to see how you look in these pictures,” Min whispers to him. 

He goes back to sucking Jisung off, pulls the plug out of him. He’s shocked at which size he chose - it was probably hitting his prostate when he sat and when he pushed at it. He replaces the plug with two of his fingers, crooking them just right, hitting the spot and hearing Jisung keen when he does. He’s bobbing his head, scissoring, fingering him open…himself rutting into the mattress, needing something until he can get inside him. 

“Kitty, ‘stop.” He stops. 

“Take this off,” he slurs out, gesturing at the blindfold. Minho removes it. 

Jisung looks up at him, euphoria on his face at seeing Min. “Hi,” he says shyly. “Wanted t’see you.”

Minho smiles down at him. “I’m proud of your Princess, doing the right thing and telling me what you need.” He kisses him, their tongues sliding, wet and slick. 

He pulls back, flips Jisung over. “I told you I was gonna eat you out tonight.” Jisung is bent forward on his knees, hands out in front of him. He pushes his ass back and up, presenting himself. Minho just looks. “Is there anywhere you aren’t perfect, baby?” Jisung shakes his hips, his ass jiggling with the movement. 

Minho uses his thumbs to further spread Jisung apart, mouth watering at the site of his hole. “God damn, baby.” Instead of putting his tongue to his hole, he sits up and slicks himself up then lines up with his entrance. Pushes in, Jisung crying out in surprise. His head whips around and he moans at the vision of Minho fucking into him. “I needed to be inside you, Sungie.” He pauses, giving Jisung time to adjust. He continues, sliding in, his hips now flush with his ass. 

He pulls back and thrusts in again. 

“You. Are. So. Beautiful.” 

Jisung is bent over, almost in two, knees under his belly, tied arms out in front of him, ass up as far as he can get it, head turned so he can see Minho behind him. 

“I love fucking you.”

“Harder, Minho. I want it hard.” 

Min sits up on his knees, hands pulling Sungie back by his hips, holding him while he pistons into him, Jisung split over his cock, whining and moaning, taking what Minho gives him. 

He turns his head a little further, catching Min’s attention. “Can I cum?” 

“Come here.” Minho adjusts their positions, Jisung on his knees but sitting up on them, instead of on all fours, Minho behind him, fucking up into him. Jisung sighs when Minho takes his cock in his hand, finally. Rests his head back against Minho. Gives himself over to the pleasure. 

“Please please please please please,” he hears Sungie chanting under his breath. Then, “Min, I’m close.” He slows down his thrusts; he’s about three seconds away from his own release. Puts his mouth as close to his ear as he can. 

“Cum for me, Princess,” his voice is raw. “Cum now.”

He does. Hole clenching in rhythm with his orgasm, he cums over Min’s hand, his own stomach. It’s almost painful the force with which he cums. He can feel Min’s cock still in him, dragging against his walls, so good. He doesn’t know what kind of sound is coming out of his mouth - words, screams, nonsense. He just knows he’s coming and then Minho is too, pulsating within him. It feels like the pleasure is never ending. 

He curls over himself, pawing as well as he can at Min’s hand on his cock, to get him to stop. It’s starting to not feel good. “Min, stop, ‘hurts.” He’s never felt this before. “Okay, baby.” He stops touching, moving, but doesn’t pull out. “I’m staying right here, inside.” Jisung nods. “Thank you.” 

“Always such a polite, sexy boy. You took me so well tonight. Everything.” Jisung smiles, turns his head a little so Min can see his expression. They’re both still breathing hard, still coming down from that high. 

“Min, I’m tired. Can we lie down?” He nods. He guides them over so they’re on their sides, still attached. 

“How do you always know what to do to me? What I’ll like?” 

His eyes flick all over Sungie’s face as he answers him. “Because you’re mine, you’ve always been mine. We’ve been together in some way for almost half our lives. Do you think I haven’t noticed things about you? Even if I didn’t know how they fit at the time? It’s the same way that you know what I like. And this isn’t just sex, either. We know each other, baby. We probably know each other better than we know ourselves.”

He pulls him closer, rubs his hands over his chest, over his belly. “And we can grow into this together. I’m also looking forward to that. Growing together, learning together, exploring together. I’m excited for us, everything.”

“Really, Min?” He looks over his shoulder, widening his eyes, lips in a smile. “I’m looking forward to all that, too. I really am.”

Minho reaches around him and unties his wrists, fingers lingering over the marks the ropes leave behind. He sighs. "So pretty. I love what's left behind as much as I love when you're bound."

“Are you ready for me to pull out? I grabbed a towel this time, but, uh…” He lifts himself up on his elbow to look over into Jisung’s face, grin on his own. “I’m gonna, help, um, get you cleaned up, if that’s okay with you.” He raises an eyebrow.

“Minho! You’re such a fucking weirdo!” He giggles. “Gimme five more minutes. I don’t know if I can get it up again so quick. And I want to enjoy it when you have your tongue in my ass,” he responds. 

Min groans. “I’m so fucking lucky you’re as weird as I am, Bug.” 

They stay connected for exactly five more minutes.

The next morning they wake up, both feeling refreshed. As usual, they’re tangled up in each other and the blankets, so they take a few minutes to wake up and extract themselves. They take care of their morning routines and meet up in the kitchen. Minho already has stuff out on the island to make for breakfast. Jisung walks over to him, hugs him from behind and asks what he’s making. 

“I thought we’d have pancakes and bacon. Do you want eggs as well?” 

Jisung shrugs. “Meh, not really. Bacon and pancakes will be enough for me. Thank you, though.” He kisses Min on the cheek. 

“Can we talk while you cook?” Jisung wants to talk about his streaming and about how he should handle things with catdad, now that things are settled between them.

“Yep. What about?” Minho gets out a cookie sheet and lines it with tinfoil then parchment paper. He preheats the oven to 400 F then lays out the bacon on the covered sheet.

“I want to talk about catdad and what to do.” 

Min prepares the pancakes while they talk. “What do you want to do?”

Jisung thinks for a moment. “I want to tell him what happened between you and I. He deserves to know the truth. It’s not like he didn’t know I was in a relationship of some sort with you. I think I made that clear. So he went into this knowing the potential. And then I’d like to let him come to a decision about whether he wants to remain friends with me. I don’t know if I’d tell him who I really am, at least not yet. But maybe eventually? 

But what do you think? How would it make you feel for me to talk to someone who has seen me naked, cum, and bought me things? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Minho turns and looks at Jisung. He sits with his words for a moment, really trying to put himself in the position that he just described. How would he feel? He’s not sure. 

“I’m honestly not sure, Sungie. Would it be okay if we tried it, with you being friends with him if he wants to be? I trust you. If you think you can be friends with him and it not turn sexual, I think I’d like to try that. I want to be fair to you.

That being said, I’m not going to lie and say it doesn’t ping some jealousy in me. And you did say that you wanted me to be jealous and tell you that you couldn’t talk to him…so what do you want me to say? Has that changed?”

Jisung is staring at him when he looks back up from where he was cooking the pancakes. “Do you know how fucking sexy you are? If I weren’t so damn hungry, I’d drop to my knees and give you head right now, I swear to god, Kitty. Fuck.” He shakes his head, as if to empty it of the dirty thoughts running through it. “I kinda wanna finger you, too. Are you open to that?” 

He hears the sizzle before he smells the burn. Minho is still looking at him, pancakes forgotten. Jisung laughs. “Minho, the pancakes are burning.” He points his chin in the direction of the stove.

The words finally drift low enough into Minho’s brain for him to decode them. “Oh! Fuck!” He removes the offending pancakes and puts more batter in the pan to cook. “Sorry, I got caught up in the idea of you sucking my cock with your fingers in my ass. Yeah, I’d be, uh, open to that, baby.” He gives a shy grin. “Maybe more than that, if you want to try.” 

Jisung coughs, “Really? You tell me when you’re ready to do that. I can’t wait.” He’s bouncing on his toes, huge smile on his face. 

It pops back into his head what they were talking about before he offered to finger Min. “I think I would like to at least offer to be friends with him. If it’s too difficult for you, I’ll end it. He might not even want to. But I’ll give him the option.”

Minho nods, okay with the solution, and happy that they came up with it together. 

“Now, what about my stream? I’m not sure what to do about that. What are your honest thoughts, Kitty?”

Minho really isn’t interested in Jisung streaming anymore. He feels possessive over him and wants to keep his body private now that they’re together. But he’s not sure he can really ask that of him. “Um, well, since you asked…” He tells him how he feels about it. 

“Thank you for telling me. I appreciate it. I’ve been thinking that I don’t know if I really want to stream anymore. I feel like the reasons I was doing it aren’t applicable anymore - I have you and we’re going to explore stuff together. I don’t need anyone else for that kind of thing. I’m not going to delete it, though. There are still people I want to talk to. People that I met, became friends with. None of them are sexy friends. You good with that?”

Minho nods. “Yep.” He comes over, with pancakes and bacon on a plate, drenched in syrup, puts the plate down and wraps Sungie in a hug. “Thank you.”

[private message] from HanG to [3catdad] 11/10/25 11:00am

Hi catdad! How’s it going?

I wanted to write and update you. Some things have changed since the last time we messaged. I feel…I’m not sure, weird, maybe, about telling you this. But I want to be upfront and honest with you. 

My roommate and I finally talked and worked our shit out. I know I never really gave you details about what was going on with us, but he and I decided to, well, we’re boyfriends. It’s a long, twisty story, but we finally made it to this part. 

Anyway, I really like you. I think you’re an interesting person and you’re so nice, and I’d love to be friends, if that’s something you’d want. I totally understand if you don’t, though. I’ll leave it up to you. 

I have it on good authority what a genuinely good and nice person you are, though I could tell that on my own through all of our interactions. 

I also want to let you know that I won’t be streaming anymore. It gave me what I needed, but now that I’m with my roommate, those are things we are going to explore together. 

I really hope we can be friends. Even if it’s not right away, sometime in the future, maybe?

-Hannie

[private message] from [3catdad] to HanG 11/10/25 12:35pm
Hi Hannie.

I really appreciate you telling me. I’m not surprised, to be honest. You told me you were having issues and that you weren’t sure what to do, but I think I knew where it was headed. 

I’m glad that you are happy!

I really like you too, Hannie. You’re such a sweet, smart, pretty guy. Your roommate is a lucky man. 

Ultimately I do want to be friends with you. I’m glad you offered that. Thank you. I think I need a little time to get over my crush on you. I hope it’s not weird that those feelings are there, and that it doesn’t make you uncomfortable. But when I’m ready, I’ll reach out. 

-catdad

[private message] from HanG to [3catdad] 11/10/25 1:43pm
Hey. Nope, I’m not uncomfortable with your feelings. I think it’s normal, and we really hit if off, so…

I’m just happy to hear you don’t hate me and would consider being friends after this.

See? You’re a sweet guy. 

Let me know when you’re ready. I’ll be here. 

-Hannie

Chapter 37: 37 - When I'm Next To You I'm Home

Summary:

What can I say? They're in love, Your Honor.

Chapter title from One Way Ticket by ONE OK ROCK.

Jisung goes to the streaming site and turns off the subscribe option, also adding a notice to his page saying that he won’t be streaming anymore. He sends a note to the people he has become friends with, explaining what’s going on and why he won’t be streaming in the future, also telling them that he wants to stay in touch. He feels a little bit sad, like he’s losing something, but he also knows he’s gained so much more. 

He walks into Min’s bedroom, feeling a little down.

“What’s up, baby?”

He shrugs, not sure how to tell Min how he’s feeling about everything that happened today. He wants to, though. so he tries. “I’m feeling a little sad about catdad, and I turned off the subscribe option on my streaming site. I feel badly that I may have hurt him. He says he wants to be friends, though, but he needs time to get over his crush on me.” 

Minho opens his arms. Sungie walks into them, lays his head on Min’s chest, listening to the beat of his heart.

“You always know what I need, Kitty.”

A few months later

“Hyung, are you ready to go? I can’t wait to see everyone at the club tonight!” 

Minho walks up behind him and snakes his hands around Jisung’s narrow waist, feeling the skin beneath them. His eyes follow his hands, wondering why he can feel skin where fabric should be. Ah…club outfit. Right. He scoots back to take him in. Beautiful. Mine.

“I will never get sick of looking at you, baby,” he sighs out. 

Jisung turns around, eyes wide, surprised breath caught in his throat. 

“Min,” he says softly. “Thank you, Kitty.” 

He walks over to him, puts his arms around him and presses his lips against his. 

“Are you ready to go?” 

He inclines his head. “Let’s do this.”

“Felix! Hyunjin!” Jisung sees his friends at the bar. “Come on, Min,” he drags him by the hand over to them. “Where’s Chan and the others? Aren’t Seungmin and Jeongin coming? Binnie?”

They look around the bar, finally spotting the other four men at a table, drinks already in hand. “There they are! Yay!” Jisung runs over to them, leaving Minho to get his drink. 

They all get up from their seats and greet Jisung, exchanging hugs and greetings, all smiles. “It’s so good to see you guys! It’s been too long.” It’s been at least a couple months since they’ve all been able to get together. Chan, Changbin and Jisung see, or at least talk to each other regularly because of work, but he doesn’t get to see the others as often as he’d like. 

He looks over to the bar, wondering what’s taking Min so long to get his drink. He meets Felix’s eyes, who looks a little panicked. There’s a very good looking man standing next to him. He looks…uncomfortable. 

Felix gives an almost imperceptible shake of his head and they all start walking toward the table. Sungie widens his eyes in response, as if to ask “are you okay?” That’s all they can share before they reach the table. 

The table goes silent, five pairs of eyes locked on four. 

“This is Myung-hoon,” Felix says in the lull, his characteristic charisma returning. Fake it til you make it, or some shit like that, he thinks to himself. “He’s a good friend of mine.”

Jisung is staring at him. Looks at Min, “I’ll be right back, babe.” 

He grins. Walks over shyly, head canted down, cheeks blushed. “Hi, catdad,” he says softly, words just for him. “I’m really glad you came tonight. I was hoping you’d be able to come to one of these, and here you are.”

If he’s being honest, he’s a little star-struck. While he knows this man as catdad, he realizes that he’s also seen his face plastered everywhere. 

He and catdad, Myung-hoon now, have been talking over the past few months. He reached out to Jisung a couple weeks after asking for a bit of time. It started carefully, a little awkwardly, as one would imagine it would, after the things they’d shared. After that initial weirdness, things went back to normal and they’ve been in contact at least weekly ever since. He’s known his name for a month or so, but they never really talked about their fame. 

Jisung has been sure to keep Minho in the loop, and Myung-hoon is aware that Jisung is transparent about everything with his boyfriend. That was a non-negotiable part of them talking again. It’s the same with all the people Sungie talks to. Minho, too. 

It doesn’t mean that Minho reads or knows every word that’s spoken between Jisung and his friends, or that Jisung doesn’t have privacy. It’s an aspect of their relationship that they both knew about when they started it. Minho was upfront about it, and Jisung accepted it, knowing they’d need to figure it out along the way. Minho has been working hard with his therapist on identifying and labeling his emotions, and talking about the ones that are getting in his, or their, way. So for now, it’s what works for them. Communication is key. 

“Is it okay if I give you a hug, hyung,” Jisung asks. Myung-hoon nods his head, nerves evident on his face. Jisung lightly puts his arms around him, and feels the other man gently squeeze him in return, just for a moment. 

Jisung grabs his wrist lightly. “Why don’t you come sit next to me?” He leads him to a seat, sandwiching Myung-hoon between Felix and himself. Minho is next to Jisung; Hyunjin on the other side of Felix. 

“Ji-Ji, you are on fire tonight! That outfit is amazing. I’m surprised you two made it out of the house after Min saw you in that.” He giggles, raising his eyebrows suggestively. 

“FELIX!” Jisung whines. “Shut up!” Eyes shut, face red.

The outfit Felix is referring to is a black, mesh, long sleeved crop top, tight to his body, that stops just under the top of his ribs. Through it his new tattoos can be seen: blessed on his chest and RESPLENDENT LIFE down his side. His nipple piercings are proudly on display. Matte black. He rarely covers them anymore. He has a tiny opal and sapphire cat as his belly piercing tonight, one that Minho had commissioned. It’s their birthstones. He’s paired the top with low slung, tight black leather pants that perfectly show off his ass. His Gucci belt is thin, black, and customized at Min’s request with sapphires down the length of it. The waistband of his boxer briefs is peeking out the top of his pants, thick and black, while the briefs themselves are tiny. Laced over his pants are a pair of Balenciaga Bulldozer Platform Boots, giving him a couple inches of extra height. At his throat is another gift from Minho, one that means more between them then the other men know. Well, except Felix. Black, sleek, subtle. 

“He’s right, though, Princess,” his voice pitched low and quiet, “I almost fucked you up against the wall, but we would have been late, and I knew you wanted to get here on time.”

Jisung’s eyes pop open, breath hitching. His thighs clench together at his words. “Minho,” he whisper-yells, hoping Myung-hoon can’t hear him, and doesn’t notice his reactions, “not at the fucking table!”

“Oh, my babygirl. You are in so much trouble tonight. Hmmm…right now, actually.” 

Jisung sees Min reach for his phone. Presses a button, swipes carefully up, and again. Pokes something on the screen. 

Jisung jolts. 

“Oh!” The word is pulled out of him.

“Shit.” Muttered.

He breathes in slowly, hands flat on the table, head down in concentration. I’m going to fucking kill him.

He shoots daggers with his eyes at Minho. Remembers where he is and looks around the table, hoping nobody noticed any of that. Finds 8 faces turned toward him, but suddenly interested in everything but him. 

“You okay, baby,” Minho asks, fake concern in his tone.

“I’m fantastic, thank you for asking, babe,” he grits out, thighs still clenched. 

He leans in, lips against Min’s ear, “I don’t know why I agreed to this. Turn it off, please?”

“Not in a million years, baby,” smirk on his beautiful face that Jisung wants to wipe off, possibly with violence.

Jisung plasters a smile on his face and tries to interact normally with his friends. Minho finally takes pity on him and turns the vibration off. At least he can breathe again.

Everybody’s talking, laughing, enjoying themselves. The drinks are free-flowing, though Jisung doesn’t drink much, he’s a lightweight and doesn’t want to embarrass himself in front of their new friend. Min doesn’t drink much as a rule. 

“Going to the restroom,” Jisung says as he gets up from the table. Minho immediately clocks his movement, gets up to go with him. As Jisung is walking in front of him, he turns the vibration on again. Very low, just enough to notice. He sees him tense, head turning slightly, eyes dark. 

Jisung enters the room and immediately feels himself pushed up against the door, lock clicking so nobody else can come in. 

“You’re driving me crazy, Princess,” Min grates in his ear. He drops to his knees, undoes Jisung’s pants and pulls them and his underwear down, so they’re flopping at his ankles. He’s already hard. Jutting out teasingly at Min’s mouth. 

“Spread your legs for me.” Then he takes him in his mouth, sucking him in, one hand smoothing over his balls, the other at his hole, removing the plug and trading it for his fingers. He fucks him on his fingers, making sure he’s nice and loose. He’s plenty wet with lube. Minho stands up, unzips himself. Jisung’s eyes following every move. No underwear. 

“Min,” he moans out. “Fuck.” 

“Turn around, babygirl. Put your hands up on the wall and keep them there.”

Jisung complies, movements fast, practiced. 

Minho grinds his hard cock into his cleft, using his hands to spread him apart. “Sungie,” he breathes out, “you’re such a good boy, letting me fuck your pretty hole. We need to be quick..”

He pushes in, the slide easy, until his hips are flush with Jisung’s ass. They both moan. He has a punishing grip on his hips, holding him in place while he fucks him. 

“Can I touch myself, please,” Jisung asks quietly. 

“Yes, you can, baby. But only your nipples right now.”

A whine. “Yes, Min.” His fingers slowly reach his chest, lifting his shirt. He gently rubs his fingers over both nipples at the same time, the calluses from playing guitar just right. He gets rougher as Minho fucks him faster. 

“Kitty, please. I need more. Can you touch me, please?” The words are a quiet whimper. He feels the quiet moan from Minho against his neck. Feels his hand around his cock, already wet. 

“Princess, you feel so good. You’re so beautiful.” He kisses down his neck, hand moving faster, tighter on his cock. “Baby, are you close?”

Jisung arches his back, tipping his ass up toward Min for a different angle. “Yes, so close. Can I cum?”

“I’m almost there,” he says in his ear, fucking into him slower, feeling the way his walls drag at the head of him. He snaps his hips, a whine high in Jisung’s throat. 

“You can cum, Sungie,” he whispers, lips hot against his ear. 

“Min…yes. Please don’t stop. Fuck me through it, Kitty.” His body locks hard, pleasure crashing through him. He can’t stop his hole from clenching around Minho as he cums over Min’s hand. 

“Baby,” his hips stutter as he tips over the edge right after Jisung, fucking him, filling him, until they’re both breathless. 

They’re out of time, needing to get back to their friends before their absence raises eyebrows. Jisung takes a wipe out of his pocket and cleans off Min’s hand. 

“I’m going to put the plug back in, baby. Okay, Princess?”

“Please, Min, yes. I want it in me.” This is a new thing they’re trying out, plugging Jisung after sex, keeping Min’s cum inside him.

He puts the plug in, then helps Jisung fix his clothing, then wipes his dick off with another wipe and gets himself decent. Jisung is still standing there, looking fucked out. He kisses him softly. “You’re amazing, baby. Do you know that?”

He nods. Smiles. “Only for you, Kitty.”

When they get back to the table, only about 7 minutes have passed. Seungmin glances at them, smirks like he knows what they’ve been up to, but doesn’t say anything. Felix loops them both into the conversation he’s having with Chan and Myung-hoon, acting as if everything is normal and continuing the pretense that nobody at the table knows they just fucked. 

Even in his sex muddled state Jisung notices that Seungmin and Myung-hoon can’t keep their eyes off each other. He hopes they get together. Maybe he’ll even mention it to Myung-hoon when they talk next. He’s definitely going to say something to Seungmin. And Felix. 

He looks around the table again, at the people who love him. This is his chosen family, people he’s known for almost half his life, and one newer friend, who he knows will remain important to him. 

He leans into Minho, who throws an arm around his shoulder. Looks up, into his eyes. “I love you, Minho,” he says quietly. Minho looks down at him, smile lighting his face. “I love you, baby. So much,” he answers back. They lean in to brush their lips together, happy to have shared this, this first, right now. He looks at the bracelet Minho always wears. Black, sleek, subtle, a perfect match. Jisung leans his head on Min’s shoulder, lit from the inside, eyes closed, lips curved. 

The rest of the night passes quickly, with Jisung and Minho tangled and touching in some way, as if they can’t stand to be alone in their skin for even a second. 

When it’s time to leave and everyone is saying their goodbyes, Myung-hoon comes over to them. “Hey,” he says in his quiet way, “thank you for being so welcoming. I had a great time, and I hope we can do this again. Hannie, I’m really happy for you, and you too, Minho. I’m glad you found each other.” 

He looks over at Seungmin, hope shining in his eyes. “I hope I can find that, too.” 

He hugs them goodbye, and says that they’ll talk soon.

Minho, out of the blue, “I like him. I’m glad you met him and that he came tonight.” 

“Aw, Kitty, really? I’m happy to hear that. I like him, too. He’s so nice. And did you see his cats?” He giggles. “They’re so cute. Maybe we can have a cat play date or something.” He grins up at Min, who is looking at him like he hung the moon. 

“Yeah, baby. Maybe we can.”

One year later

“Is everyone here, Min? Have they landed?”

He looks at his phone, checking his texts. “Yes, baby, everyone is here.”

They’re at an upscale resort, on the beach in Australia. 

“I hope we didn’t forget anything important, hyung.” Jisung is full of nerves. 

“Baby, we only need each other and the power of the internet, and maybe Felix. Relax. Everything is fine.” He massages Jisung’s shoulders, willing the anxiety out of him. 

“I know you’re right. I’m just nervous.”

Minho pulls him into a tight hug, even wrapping a leg around him to make him laugh. “I can’t wait to see you walk down the aisle, Princess.” 

It’s a little before sunset the next day. Felix, Hyunjin, Chan, Changbin and Myung-hoon are gathered in Jisung’s hotel room, helping him get ready and trying to get him to-

“Breathe, Jisung,” Felix screeches. “Everything is fine! There won’t be any coconut crabs on the beach during your wedding! I promise! They don’t even live in this part of Australia, for fucks sake.” He rolls his eyes, patience dwindling. “I need more alcohol.”

“Okay, but what about the blue ringed octopus? They do. They’re probably swimming around in the water looking through their octopus eyes, waiting for one of us to put a toe in.” His eyes are large, breath coming fast. 

“Nope, they don’t live in these waters.” Felix has no fucking idea whether that’s true or not, but he’s going to lie his ass off if it keeps Sungie calm. Or…whatever version of calm this is.

“Hannie,” Myung-hoon tries, “can you take some deep breaths, please? I promise, everything is going to be fine.” He grabs both of Jisung’s hands and squeezes them tight.

“I’m glad you’re here, catdad. Thank you for coming.” Jisung gives him a genuine smile, nerves still showing through. 

“Fifteen minutes,” Chan says. He walks over and pulls Jisung into his arms. “Sungie, I can’t believe this is happening. I’m so fucking happy for you and Min.” Then Chan is sobbing. “I can’t wait to walk you down the aisle.”

“DO NOT MAKE ME CRY, CHAN! I swear to god,” Sungie says as he blinks quickly, trying not to ruin all the work Felix has done on his face. 

Changbin is next, giving Jisung a back hug. He knows if he looks at Sungie he’ll start blubbering. “Jisung, I’m really proud of you. You’ve come a long way from the asshole you were ten years ago.” They chuckle. “I’m serious, though. You’ve really grown up. You’ve grown into your talent. It’s so cool that we get to work together at something we love doing. And I’m ecstatic that you and Min finally got your shit together. You're great together, I hope you know that.” 

Hyunjin walks over. Looks at Jisung. They both start to tear up. 

“I love you, Jinnie.” 

“I love you, Sungie.” 

There’s more, but they already know it. Don’t need to say it. 

Over in Minho’s room it’s quiet. Seungmin, Jeongin and Minho are ready to go. Minho is a little nervous, but nothing like he’s sure Jisung is feeling. 

“Do you have the rings, Minnie?”

Seungmin nods. Pulls them out of his pocket and shows them to Minho. 

“Alright, then. Let’s go.”

The sunset wedding on the beautiful beach in Australia, where there are no coconut crabs and no blue-ringed octopuses to be found, goes off without a hitch. The grooms look incredible, dressed in their black suits, one with opal accents, the other with sapphires. 

They look into each other’s eyes as they say their vows. Their rings match; black with a sapphire and opal set into them. Small, sleek, subtle, but entirely meaningful to them. 

Seungmin and Jeongin sing as they walk up the aisles, meeting in the center. Chan cries the entire way as he stays beside Jisung, like he’s giving away his own child. 

Felix presides over most of the wedding, with an authorized celebrant doing the parts he can’t do. It’s a lovely, heart felt ceremony. 

At the reception, in a white tent, in the warm glow of fairy lights and the warmer glow of their family, Jisung gives Minho his gift. He nods to Jeongin to start the music. 

“Minho, over a year ago I wrote a song about you that I wouldn’t let you hear. Until now.” 

“I remember, baby. Volcano.” 

Jisung nods. He feels the wetness on his face. Didn’t even realize he was crying. Takes a deep breath and sings to his husband. 

Later, much later, after the festivities have ended and they’re in their room, matching rings on their fingers, matching aches in their feet, lying next to each other, Jisung looks over at Minho, echoes his wedding vows. 

“Minho. You’re my home. When I’m next to you I’m home.”

Notes:

Volcano by Han Jisung
I'll protect you it's okay to hurt
I'll embrace the wounds you shed
To me, you're already a sin
You're already a sin (Yeah)
Light it up for me, brighter, more, please
Light it up for me more brightly, even the dark night
Doesn't scare me if I'm with you
Even if I've seen it a hundred times, I still lack so much
The scars of the wounds that covered my heart
As if only you could notice them
You were so warm when you hugged me tight
I guess I teared up for a moment, because it was the first time
I'll protect you it's okay to hurt
I'll embrace the wounds you shed
To me, you're already a sin
I can't refuse because you're sweeter than evil
You can burst into flames, you can wound me next to you
If you like, I can be anything
Yeah, you can hurt me, I don't care, yeah, you can burn me
Unlike those who run away from you, I'll embrace you
Like a volcano
Love at a temperature that can melt when touched
Take me to you, way below to the end of the ground
It's okay if everything burns down
Even if I go back hundreds of times, my choice is always
(You) So I can melt into you
Hug my body even if it hurts, it's okay
(Woah) Among the cold and harsh waves
I need your heat you are my volcano
I'm the drought, you're rain, I'm paper, you're a poem
Your attention changes the brightness of my empty heart, you're light
Your arms, my home, my breath, my God
You grabbed me when I was falling fly again
My falling days were sorrow
But after you appeared my lifted mouth corners won't come down
Why, why, why, don't wanna go back, back, back
To you, who shines the brightest among others
I'll give you everything
Every day, every day, every day I can feel you
Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, I can't wait
Wondering how your smile will brighten and make me laugh this time
I'll protect you it's okay to hurt
I'll embrace the wounds you shed
To me, you're already a sin
I can't refuse because you're sweeter than evil
You can burst into flames, you can wound me next to you
If you like, I can be anything
Yeah, you can hurt me, I don't care, yeah, you can burn me
Unlike those who run away from you, I'll embrace you
Like a volcano
Love at a temperature that can melt when touched
Take me to you, way below to the end of the ground
It's okay if everything burns down
Even if I go back hundreds of times, my choice is always you
I can't live without you you're the only one, even if I die
Even if I'm reborn over and over again, it's only you
I want to give only to you my heart is burning
When I'm thinking of you, my mind is
Like a volcano
Love at a temperature that can melt when touched
Take me to you, way below to the end of the ground
It's okay if everything burns down
Even if I go back hundreds of times, my choice is always
So I can melt into you
Hug my body even if it hurts, it's okay
(Woah) Among the cold and harsh waves
I need your heat you are my volcano