Chapter Text
Pomni stared at the purple rabbit portrait on the door in front of her, wringing her hands anxiously.
Jax was avoiding her. She knew he was, even if he was trying to pretend that he wasn’t.
He still went on Caine’s adventures with everyone else, but he’d refused to actually talk to Pomni since their fight. He took every opportunity to separate himself from her, and when that wasn’t an option, he just acted like nothing happened. And he always had an excuse to leave ready whenever it looked like they could end up alone together.
But even beyond all of that, something was obviously… wrong.
He would constantly zone out and completely miss what they were supposed to be doing during adventures. When Ragatha finally commented on it, he claimed that he just couldn’t be bothered to pay attention because the adventure sounded so boring.
He’d barely picked on Gangle at all lately, and even when he did, he just backed off with a roll of his eyes as soon as Zooble stepped in to defend her.
But perhaps most concerning of all was how he just… tagged along. He’d still imply that he was up to something, or half-heartedly try to initiate some sort of chaos with the NPCs at first, but for the most part, he just kept quiet and went through the motions to get to the end, interacting with everything and everyone as little as possible.
When they got back, Jax would make some comment about how stupid the adventure was and then go straight to his room. Pomni tried to get him to hang out with everyone afterwards a few times, but he always claimed he’d rather take a nap.
This last time, he didn’t even bother with saying anything about it, instead heading straight down the hallway, his ears drooping slightly.
Pomni sighed and turned to lean back against his door.
“There’s nothing more to me. So please… just stop looking…”
She wasn't stupid. She knew Jax didn’t really mean anything he’d said during their fight… She didn’t know why he said it, why he was purposefully pushing her away, why he apparently thought he needed to… but she had realized it didn’t really matter. Regardless of his reasoning, he’d left her only one real option at this point.
“Hey… Jax?”
He didn’t say anything, but she knew he was in there.
“Look… I’m sorry. For that whole mess the other day.“
When there was still no response, she pressed onward.
“I had a lot of fun hanging out with you, and I thought we were- no, I know we were bonding. And I didn’t- I still don’t understand why you’re so determined to deny it, but-“
She hesitated, a part of her still unwilling to give up, wanting to find some way to get through to him or at least get answers… but Jax had made it abundantly clear that he would never let her get even remotely close to him again… so she just continued with what she needed to say.
“I can’t… force you to be my friend. So… I won’t try to. You don’t need to worry about that. If that’s why you've been acting so weird… and avoiding me. Things can just… go back to how they were, if that’s what you want.”
Pomni waited for a moment, then let out a heavy sigh when she was only met with more silence. “Alright. Well… I won’t bring it up again. I’ll leave you alone now-“
“What would you do?”
Pomni froze. Jax’s voice was barely audible, a tired mutter through the door, but she heard him. And she knew exactly what he meant.
What would you do if I abstracted tomorrow?
She looked down at the floor, rubbing her hand up and down her arm, unsure how to answer the unexpected question.
What would she do? What… could she do..?
Before she could even begin to get her thoughts together, there was a loud crash on the other side of the door.
“Jax??”
“Agh!!“
“Jax!?” She reached for the door knob, but before she could grab it she felt herself getting pulled away-
“N-no, wait-!!”
And then she was in front of the stage, hand still outstretched. She looked around to find everyone else there too, looking a little bit disoriented, Jax more so than the others. He was on the floor next to her, black scribbles dancing in his eyes.
“Jax?” Pomni said softly, taking a cautious step towards him. “You okay..?”
Jax shook his head and closed his eyes for a second, then he opened them and they were back to normal. Instead of acknowledging Pomni at all, he got up and glared at Caine.
“God, could you at least warn us before you do that!?” he yelled angrily.
“Serves you right…” Zooble muttered, crossing their arms.
“You stay outta this!” Jax growled, breathing heavily.
Pomni started to say something, to try and diffuse things, but then Caine spoke up.
“Alllrighty my dandy dewdrops! Since the trust exercise a few days ago was clearly ineffective-“
“You mean the one we didn’t even do?“ Zooble interrupted, exasperated.
“-I’ve decided a different team building adventure is in order!” Cain continued. “One that’s perfectly designed to help you better understand your fellow circus members!”
Pomni took a small step back, not looking forward to whatever this was going to be.
“We don’t need a team building adventure! He’s the problem!” Zooble exclaimed, gesturing at Jax.
“Aww, stop it~”
Jax grinned and waved his hand dismissively, but Pomni was pretty sure she saw his eye twitch.
“I think I’ve really outdone myself with this one!” Caine said, ignoring them.
Bubble appeared beside him. “amuart tsap ruoy lla gniviler nuf evah-”
Cain popped him, then snapped his fingers and opened a portal. “By the end, all of your issues will be completely resolved! And we can finally move past all this interpersonal drama and get back to enjoying all of my amazing adventures! Have fun, my terrific little teacups!”
“W-wait-“ Ragatha stammered as they all tried to resist being pulled forward. “Aren’t you going to explain what we’re doing!?”
“Ah-ah! No spoiling the show!” Caine said as the force behind the portal became stronger and they all got sucked in.
Pomni grunted as she landed on a hard surface with a thud. She groaned and slowly sat up, finding herself alone in what seemed to be an endless hallway, the walls and ceiling glowing a silvery-white color.
“Uh… guys?” She pushed herself up and looked around, wondering how exactly a team building exercise was supposed to work without a team. “Is anyone else… here?”
“Caine, is this one of your NPCs, or is this a new sucker?”
Pomni jumped when she heard Jax’s voice, but then she realized it was coming from the wall to her right, the silvery surface changing to show everyone gathered on the stage in the tent…
“Cause if it’s a new character, we’re gonna have to redo this whole theme song.”
“I’m not doing that again,” Zooble muttered.
“My, my! It appears a new human has entered this realm-!”
Oh... This was her first day at the circus…
Pomni just watched it play out for a bit, then finally decided to keep walking. As she did, memories from her time here played on the walls.
Ragatha trying to get her into the candy kingdom adventure. Her conversation with Kinger. Closing for Gangle. Stargazing with Jax. Learning more about Zooble and everyone else at the bar…
“What… does this have to do with team building?” She wondered aloud as she walked past the memory of their weird softball game.
And then, she found herself at the start of their shootout adventure.
She stopped, wringing her hands as she stared ahead at the still dark sections of the hallway, knowing exactly what would appear there.
Seeing no other way out, she took a deep breath, then ran straight ahead, looking forward instead of at the walls.
But that didn’t stop her from hearing pieces of it.
“You know none of this is real-”
“Why do you care about that?”
“It’s… kinda cringe…”
“HA! You’re so cool!”
“Let’s not forgot, we’re here to kill people-“
“-I’m HALF crazy-“
“-yeah. You can betray me.”
“C’mon, I thought you were cool.”
“We’re not a team-“
“You sound like Ragatha right now-“
“We were never friends-“
“-I’ll be bored to tears-“
“Oh my GOD-“
“You didn’t even know him!”
“-They are not pleasant to be around-!”
“Oh here we go, here we go-!”
“I do not care about you, or anyone else in this circus-“
“I get joy out of making you suffer-“
“There’s nothing more to me.”
“-please. Just stop-“
“-so, um…”
“-what did you want to-“
“-first, I need to apologize-“
Pomni stopped running when she realized she'd gone past the fight and was now seeing a different memory. Her talk with Ragatha after the award show.
She relaxed a bit and just let herself catch her breath for a moment as the memory played out.
“-I mean… actually apologize… for leaving you behind that day,” Pomni heard herself say. “I know you said not to worry about it, but… It was a really awful sh[%$!#]tty thing for me to do.”
Ragatha opened her mouth to say something, hesitated, then sighed and looked down. “Honestly… Yeah, that did hurt... But I can’t really blame you. I mean, you just got thrown into all this craziness, you didn’t really know me at all. Of course you tried to escape. I mean… You’d be kinda crazy not to.”
They both laughed half heartedly, then Pomni sighed.
“Still… I’m sorry.”
Ragatha smiled. “Apology accepted, Pomni.”
Pomni smiled back, then Ragatha looked down, playing with her hands a bit.
“And… I’m sorry for… being so pushy. I know I can be too much. I know I try too hard. I don’t mean to be weird, but I just want everyone to like me and I get carried away and-” she shook her head, “-if I make you uncomfortable please just tell me right now and I’ll-”
“Hey-” Pomni reached out and placed a hand over Ragatha's. “-it’s okay. It’s not-” she hesitated, placing her hand back in her lap, “Well, okay, if I’m being honest, things… did feel a little weird at first. But... I get it now. I really do appreciate you looking out for me. For everyone here. I don’t mind you “being weird” about it, but also… You don’t need to go out of your way to prove anything to me. I know you’re a good person, Ragatha.”
Ragatha sniffled a bit and wiped her eyes, but gave her a watery smile. “I… Thanks, Pomni. That… That really means so much.”
The memory stopped there and started over. Pomni started walking again, listening to bits and pieces of the rest of their conversation. They must have talked for hours, just clearing the air and talking about everything and nothing. Their lives before the circus, things they missed, things they didn’t, their favorite and least favorite adventures, the other circus members-
Then, naturally, Jax had come up...
Pomni winced a bit when she reached that part, but she just kept walking.
Ragatha didn’t seem surprised at all when Pomni gave her a brief summary of what happened during and after the shootout game.
“I really thought we were-“ Pomni heard herself pause and take a breath, she vividly remembered how hard she was trying to keep her voice from breaking in that moment. “It really felt like we… had a connection… I just… don’t know what I did wrong.”
Ragatha just looked down for a moment, hands folded in her lap. “I’m… sorry he did that to you, Pomni. But I’m sure it wasn’t anything you did wrong. He's just-“ she stopped herself for a moment before continuing, “Well... he’s been through a lot.”
She didn't elaborate, and Pomni didn’t press her to. It wasn’t Ragatha’s place to tell her about Jax’s past, after all…
So Pomni shifted the conversation a bit. “Were you two… friends before?”
Ragatha smiled sadly and shrugged. “We were never really close, but… Yeah, I guess we were. At one point...”
It was quiet for a moment, then Ragatha sighed.
“I’m… really starting to worry about him…” she said quietly.
Pomni nodded in agreement, not sure what to say besides, “Yeah…”
Pomni bit her lip as she continued walking, the memory bringing up a confusing jumble of emotions all over again. She was so glad she and Ragatha had that conversation. Things were less awkward between them and it felt like they had a real friendship now… but on the other hand, she was still worried about Jax, even more so than she had been before...
She looked up and saw that the hallway finally ended in a rounded area with five doors along the walls... Then it clicked.
Five doors… Five other circus members…
She inspected them for a moment, but they all looked identical, so she just chose one at random and walked through.
She found herself in a dark hallway, just like the one she’d first landed in. She started walking and the walls lit up with a memory.
“What is this??”
Pomni blinked and paused at the familiar voice. She saw Kinger, Ragatha, and several other somewhat familiar looking creatures standing inside the circus tent and staring at-
Pomni couldn’t help but laugh a bit.
Of course. Of course she had picked Jax’s door…
She considered turning back, but the door seemed to have disappeared behind her.
“Oh, hi.” Ragatha walked over to Jax, smiling. “Don’t worry, I know this is a lot to take in, but you’re going to be just fine-“
Jax laughed, looking down at himself. “Woah. What the heck is this game even supposed to be?”
Ragatha awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck. “Well… the thing is…”
“Not the brightest, is he?” one of the others, a green and orange creature that resembled a worm on a string, asked.
Ragatha turned to look at them. “Hey, c’mon, be nice. He just got here.”
Jax took a step forward. “So, Raggedy Anne. What am I supposed to be doing?”
“It’s… Ragatha, actually,” she said, turning back to him with a slightly strained smile.
Jax waved his hand dismissively. “Right, right. Copyright crap… So what’s the goal here, Ragatha?”
“Well, uh… maybe you should… sit down and we can-“
“Hey. What’s your name, bunny boy?” that same worm creature asked smugly.
“Wriggle!” Ragatha scolded.
“My names-“ Jax froze for a moment, then let out a nervous laugh. “Why… Why can’t I… remember my-“
Jax turned around and pulled hard on his ears, eyes wide. “Get this thing off me!!!”
“Hey, hey! It’s gonna be alright, just calm down-“
Pomni couldn’t help but just stand there for a moment as the memory started to replay
Even after seeing it with her own eyes, it was kind of hard for her to imagine Jax really freaking out like that…
She shook her head and took a few steps forward. The walls lit up a bit further down the hallway- And she nearly screamed.
A figure was hunched over in the dark ahead of her, hidden in shadow, just outside the glow of the memory playing on the walls.
She took a cautious step forward. “H-hello?”
The figure snapped its head around to face her and Pomni stopped in her tracks when she noticed the ears sticking up-
“J-Jax!?”
She realized, as he slowly stood up straight, that he wasn’t just obscured by shadows… his skin and clothes were inky black, sharp spikes and squares glitched in and out of existence around him, and one of his eyes was… wrong, glowing neon orange and pink and blue... A strained, manic smile was plastered on his face.
“Ru-u-nn," he growled, voice distorted and barely recognizable.
Pomni just stared, wide-eyed and trembling. This couldn’t be happening… it was some… twisted part of Caine’s team building adventure... Jax couldn’t be-
He cried out as his body was suddenly wracked with horrifying glitches, briefly stretching and morphing into a series of jagged angles, several more glowing neon eyes appearing, before he returned to his normal shape, though now, it was almost like Pomni was looking at him through a broken, staticky tv screen, his dark form fuzzy and wavering. Through it all, he kept smiling at her... And then he laughed.
“Go-d-d-d…. Wh-y-y-y a-a-areee yo-u-u just… sta-an-anding-g the-r-r-re???” he asked, wrapping his arms tightly around himself, as if to try and hold his body together-
He was fighting it. That realization was enough to finally snap Pomni out of it.
Steeling herself, she took a step forward. “Jax, it… It’s gonna be okay,” she said, trying to keep her voice from trembling, “just-“
Jax shook his head and took several frantic steps back, but a glitch caused him to trip over his own feet and fall. He tried to push himself up, trying desperately to move even just a little bit further away from her-
What Pomni did next was incredibly stupid. She knew it was. She wasn’t entirely sure what compelled her to do it. For all she knew, it could just make things worse… But she did know that if he managed to run away… if she didn’t do something right now… it would be too late.
So, she rushed forward and threw her arms around him.
Pain.
For a moment, all she could process was sharp, searing, excruciating pain. It was like when she’d touched Ragatha’s hand after Kaufmo attacked her, only so much worse. It felt like every part of her body was simultaneously getting shredded apart and fused back together over and over and over again. She couldn’t even move, her arms locked in place around him.
Pomni wasn’t sure how long they were stuck like that before she noticed the high-pitched ringing, getting louder and louder. They were both jolted by a particularly strong glitch and she was suddenly overwhelmed by flashes of thoughts and feelings and memories that weren’t her own-
Don’t touch me, you idiot!
“So lame-“
“-not even real-“
Just stay away-
“Please-“
“No!-“
“Don’t do this-“
Your fault-
Not again-
“Ribbit!-“
And everything went black.