Work Text:
She wakes, shooting up, rolling over in her bed. Tears leak down her face, she sniffles uselessly, her heart… her heart's still pounding with a fury, with a rage, with an all-encompassing sense of loss. Watery eyes turn to the clock.
3:04 AM.
Groaning uselessly, she flops back in her bed, willing and praying that she can once again return to sleep, yet… it doesn't come. Every time she closes her eyes, she sees… it. Her worst fear, laid bare before her.
She sits up, eyes turning to the floor beside her bed only to find it empty. Ugh, right. Vamola was spending the night at Aira's. And Granny… Granny was out on a job.
Gah, she was an idiot. Vamola had asked her, again and again, if she was okay being home by herself. The alien had offered, repeatedly, to stay home, promising that she could have a study sesh/sleepover some other time. But, alas, Momo had assured her that she was okay, that she was tough and capable of being in a dark, lonely house by herself.
The truth is, this shit was the worst. Even before bed, she'd been regretting her words. The empty shrine was just… too quiet. It reminded Momo of bad times, times before she and Granny reconciled, before she awakened her powers, before she met… well, anyway. The house, in its silence, was a canvas, and Momo's deepest, worst fears took over as the painter.
Momo is a strong, ultra-powerful, nigh unstoppable force of nature, created in equal measure by psionic-enhanced wits, and sheer grit and force of will.
Momo is also a seventeen year old girl, fresh off the back of nearly a decade's worth of loneliness. A girl who would consider herself blessed to have what she does now. A girl that is deeply, unendingly terrified to lose it.
And, above it all, she's terrified to lose him.
It's for that reason that she doesn't consciously think about it, her phone in her hand, her finger drifting to the call button. Really, it isn't until it's ringing that she registers that she's calling him. It's just instinct, at this point.
Momo, powerful and psychic and unrelenting, was allowed to be weak.
And there was only one person she was okay with seeing her in such a time.
"A-Ayase-san?" His voice is gentle, but there's an edge of concern, worry. "It's… late, are you okay? Safe?"
"H-Hey, Okarun," she says, before hesitating.
Not long ago, in this situation, Momo would have lied, or evaded the full truth. Said that she was fine, just felt like buggin' him. Or said that she just couldn't sleep and wanted to chat, if she were being straightforward by the standards of the time.
Now, though…
"I… I'm not doin' great," she admits. She can be weak. He's shown her that, time and again. "I'm s-sorry to call so late… especially if I woke ya."
"It's okay," he chimes, and she can hear him shuffling on the other line, sitting up. "What's up?"
She takes a moment to gather herself, and to find her words. He waits on the other line, patient.
"Just… nightmares. A-And… bein' home alone after waking up from somethin' like that is messin' with me," she pulls lightly on her bangs. "I just… I dunno. I wanted to hear your… voice? I g-guess?"
It's the most brazen thing she's said in a while, but…
"I… I see, Ayase-san. I understand, I think, I-I… sometimes it's comforting to hear your voice, too."
…she knows by now, he'd never make fun of her when she's honest.
"I'm glad," she says, a soft smile on her face. "Still, I'm sorry, I know this is a lot, 'n' all."
"I think you're allowed to be 'a lot', Ayase-san," he says with a chuckle. "We've been through a lot. I… I really do understand how you feel. Being in an empty house after a nightmare can be… rough."
Right.
He hasn't told her outright, but she's put the pieces together regarding his family. She's been to his place a few times, has seen the blank walls, the lack of any decor, any family pictures. She still gets angry about it, sometimes.
"What do you do," she asks. "When you wake up like that? What helps?"
She hears him shift, swallow, hesitate. "I… um…"
"C'monnnn, I'm lookin' for ideas here," she says, teasing him gently. "Tryna find a way for you to avoid an unstable girl wakin' yer ass up in the late hours of the night."
"You can always call me," he says, with that tone, the tone that kindly and sweetly says 'You aren't winning that argument'. Really, it's the only time she's okay losing an argument, given that it's almost always him insisting on being the sweetest little otaku known to man.
"And, um…" he continues. "Y-You won't make fun of me?"
As if she ever could, with something so clearly serious to him. "I swear I won't."
"Okay…" he takes in a breath. "I… I watch videos on my phone, of us together. O-Or listen to voicemails you've left me. It's… It's nice. Grounding, I guess."
She feels the fire burning on her face, spreading down her neck and turning her skin into a salmon pink. Still, she can't find it in her to stop the smile that's capturing her face, on a warpath from ear to ear.
"So, same shit I do, you're just lucky enough to have recordin's of my voice," she says, her tone playfully pouty. "We've been best friends for like fuckin' ever and I still don't gotta single voice message from you, ya know."
"Oh! U-Um. Well. If it w-would help, th-then I definitely could!" Gah, he's so squeaky and sweet and she kinda wants to die, 'cause how can he sound like that at a time when she can't do anything about it?
"What would really help me is if you were here," she mumbles with a sigh.
"A-A-Ayase-san? D-Did you… do you m-mean that?"
Ah, shit. Once again, she speaks without thinking, and she kinda looks like an idiot.
"I… ummm…" she could play it off as a joke. He'd let her. He'd always let her. "Is it okay if I did?"
At the end of the day, she can't bring herself to. She… wants to be more honest with him. With herself.
He takes in a breath. "I-I don't mean to be presumptuous, but… if me being there would bring you any k-kind of peace, then… then I will. If you don't think Seiko-san will kill me, that is."
Momo snorts obnoxiously. "Granny wouldn't kill you, she likes ya way too much for that. She'd just curse yer bloodline or somethin'. Besides, if your ass is here, I think… I think I could sleep peacefully." She pauses for a moment, considering. "I… I didn't really say that with any kinda expectation, though. I don't wanna make you go outta your way or nothin'…"
"You're not making me do anything. I wanna help you however I can, and if that means risking a cursed bloodline at 3 AM, then, well. C'est la vie," maybe it's a mark of how much he's matured. Momo thinks that if the Okarun from half a year ago, bowlcut still intact, were in this situation, he would have a heart attack. "If you want me there, Ayase-san, I'll always be there."
Really, though, while he has matured, she knows it isn't a matter of him bein' harder to fluster, or him suddenly becoming some sorta Adonis. He still blushes any time she touches him, still stammers when she flirts with him, he's still the same anxious, awkward fellow he's always been.
It's just that he lets go of all of that, when it comes to her.
"Then," she swallows, "come over? Please?"
"I'll see you soon."
Oughhhhh ohhhh my godddddd I'm a total iiiiiiidiot…
Okarun was dressed warmly, the night air still carrying a bit of bite to it. He got some odd looks from the occasional passerby, as a high schooler out this late was sure to. Still, no school tomorrow, and he had brought his bookbag with him full of whatever he may need for the night.
Only, maybe that was presumptuous and she didn't want him to actually spend the night and she would actually be very mad at him for assuming such a thing?
"What would really help me is if you were here…"
She had said it so softly, almost absently. She definitely hadn't meant to. It was a fact he had come to understand about Momo Ayase; she's bad at expressing her true feelings sometimes, and other times they just leak out without her intending them to. And she had said those words and she had so clearly meant them. He knew how to tell when she was just messing with him. And she wouldn't tease him. Not about this.
She was struggling, and she wanted him there. Anxiety aside, that kinda told him everything he really needed to know.
So Okarun gets off the train, walks the familiar dirt road by the familiar rice fields, trying not to think about how messy his hair is or if he still looks like he just rolled outta bed or if his cologne was gonna actually smell funny or if it was a bad idea to even put it on at all.
Because Ayase-san needed him.
Stepping through the torii gate, arriving at her front porch, he raises a hand to knock, only for the door to slide open. There, framed by the entryway, is the best thing that has ever happened to Ken "Okarun" Takakura.
Her hair is a mess, standing and puffed in all places, her oversized yellow sleep-shirt is stained by countless instances of clumsy eating, spilled drinks, and more, her eyes are half-lidded and still so clearly sleepy, her choker is spun around slightly in the wrong direction, and one of her pajama pants' legs is rolled half way up her leg, while the other swallows her foot entirely.
Ask Okarun to think of the image of Momo Ayase, to conjure the sight he thinks of when thinking of her, and this really might be it.
Because Momo Ayase is disheveled, disorganized, weird, a messy eater, and one of the most restless sleepers he's ever seen.
And she is perfect.
"Evenin'," she calls to him, voice sleepy and warm.
Before he can return her greeting, she shuffles forward, wrapping two arms around his back, pulling him into a soft embrace. He freezes. It's not the first time she's hugged him, but he was always worried about doing the wrong things with his hands. He just didn't have any experience, really. After all, she's the first person who ever has hugged him.
"'M happy you're here," she says, voice slurred with tiredness. "If you don't hug me back I'll die."
That manages to burn his anxiety out, as his hands hesitantly come to rest on her waist, softly and tentatively placing them there. At her hum of satisfaction, he pulls her further into him, until her face rests in the crook of his neck, and he can feel her smile on his skin.
He tries very hard not to think about the fact that her lips are on his skin right now.
"Are you okay? You definitely seem tired."
"Mm. Feel better. Got sleepy, I dunno," she pulls away, but her fingers trace shapes in his back still. "Felt safe. Knowin' my Okarun was comin'."
He blinks at her.
"We are gathered here today in the memory of Ken Takakura, also known as Okarun. At seventeen years old, he sadly had a heart attack and died after his crush referred to him in mildly possessive terminology. Now, one might say that this would be a sad, kind of pathetic way to go, and that is true. Not all stories have lessons. Sometimes, a thing is just sad and-"
A light poke on his cheek pulls him back from his near-death experience. She's grinning at him, half-lidded eyes bemused, knowing, understanding. It should be mortifying, but…
She's still holding him. Still smiling sweetly. And despite the amusement dancing in her eyes, it is perhaps even exceeded by the truckload of affection she's managed to stuff in those pools of magenta. Even half-awake, as she is now, he still recognizes this look. The one she'd given him more and more, lately. Usually, he only caught it in brief glimpses before she would flush and turn away, or one of their friends would draw their attention. Never has he seen it so closely, so openly. Never has he been able to explain the look, until now.
She looked at him like he was everything.
He wonders if she recognizes the same look in his own eyes.
As he blinks at her, her smile broadens. "You're dopey lookin'," she says fondly. "'N' your cologne is a bit heavy. Ya wear that for meeee?"
"Obviously," he mumbled, looking away from Heaven's personal proof of existence. "Sorry it was too much…"
"Mmmm, don't be like that," she giggles, tugging his sleeve through the door. "'S'not bad, I just like how you usually smell."
Another thing about Ayase-san: she has no problem being honest when she's sleepy like this.
It's hard to fight his blush, from her words and from the way she tugs him upstairs, barely giving him the time to remove his shoes. Even as tired as she clearly is, she always does everything with purpose, even practically pushing him into her room, following close behind.
This isn't the first time he's been in her bedroom, far from it. They've studied together, watched movies together, played games together in here, but it's definitely the latest he's ever been in this room. The space is coated in a soft red light from a nearby lamp. Wordlessly, she hooks a chin over his shoulder, arms enveloping him from behind.
"Thanks for comin'," she says. "I… it means a lot to me." He feels her bury her face in the back of his shoulder, and he really hopes she can't hear- "Your heart's beatin' hella fast, you okay?"
"Th-There's a pretty girl latching on to me! What did you think would happen?" His voice carries an embarrassing whine to it, but she just laughs lightly and pulls him closer, squeezing him.
"Is it too much?"
Despite the teasing tone, he can hear the slight worry under it. She's told him before, her fear of overwhelming him, of being too much for him.
His hand raises, resting on her arms over his chest, as his head rolls back to lean against hers. "N-Never. I just still g-get… nervous, is all. I'm not used to it."
She hums, still squeezing him gently. He lets her linger for a moment, recognizing this affirmation for what it was. Like she's reminding herself that he's here. Whatever nightmares she'd been having, it must have gotten to her bad.
"Ayase-san? D-Do you wanna sit, so we can talk?"
She shuffles on bare feet, hands clenching the front of his shirt. "I-Is it okay to stay like this? I… some of it's kinda… embarrassing."
"Whatever you're comfortable with. Here, let me just…"
Keeping hold of the arms koala'd around his chest, he lowers himself to sit crosslegged on her floor, pulling her gently down with him, so that she's sitting behind him, still able to drape herself over him as she pleases, which she does, hooking her chin over him again. He can feel her breathe against his ear. Something burns hot and bright inside him. Something he'll scream from rooftops, someday.
"Hey," she says, her voice a bit more awake, a bit… shy. "I… um… can I be honest?"
His hand comes to rest over hers, conjoined, and he traces his thumb over her knuckles. "Always, Ayase-san."
"Ithinkmeetingyouisthebestthingthat'severhappenedtome." The words all tumble out at once, and she's immediately back to burying her burning face in the crook of his neck, and he can feel her blush and wonders if she can feel his, arcing and snaking down.
His breath hitches. He opens his mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. He doesn't… what does he say to that?
How can he express to her just how struck he is by that?
Before he has the chance, she continues, squeezing him as if intending to fuse together, speaking into his skin.
"I just- I… I don't… I was so…" she huffs out an exasperated breath. "I was lonely, before we met. I had friends I loved, and I always loved Granny too, but… God, I was so lonely and I didn't e-even see it. A-And then I met you and… I-I know I can be a-a lot, and w-words are… hard sometimes, but… I d-don't think I've ever been this happy… even with all th-the ghosts and paranormal shit." She sniffles, and he feels something drip down his neck, onto the color of his shirt. "I need you to know that. I'm sorry I don't tell you more, like… wh-what you mean to me. B-Because, you mean… everything to me."
"A-Ayase-san, wh-what…" he swallows thickly, his own emotion welling in his eyes. "What brought this on? I-"
"I have so many dreams of seeing you die."
Oh.
"So many dreams of you dying to save me, or getting taken from me, or… l-leaving me. A-And I just, I get so scared. B-Because… because I…"
He can't take anymore.
He turns in her grip, sitting up into a kneel, and pulls her into his chest, one hand, smoothing against her back, the other brushing through wild auburn hair. She tenses, for a moment, before a wet almost-laugh comes out, and she tucks her arms in against his chest.
"I know we've been facing dangerous stuff, this whole time," he begins, "and… there's a lot that I can't promise, so I won't. What I can promise you… is that I'll never leave. Ever. A-And if something were to take me from you, I-I wouldn't ever stop fighting to get back to you."
Ayase-san sniffles again, fingers clenching the front of his shirt. Another sniffle. A shaking breath. A shuddering exhale.
Ah. That makes sense.
"There's nowhere in the world I'd rather be, right now. No one I'd rather be with." Unthinking, he presses his lips into the crown of her hair. "Because… meeting you is the best thing that ever happened to me."
It's her breath that hitches, now, and a small, choked sob comes out. He's seen her cry before, but never this… vulnerably? She buries her face in his chest, and he can feel the wet spots building on his shirt, and he cannot find it within him to care that much. All he can do is continue to stroke her back, her hair, and whisper soft assurances to her.
"C-C-Corny a-ass thing t-t-t-to say," she mutters, poutingly, between sobs. "G-Gawd, pl-plagiarizin' me? S-So l-lame."
He chuckles warmly. "Sorry. Won't happen again."
She pulls back to look at him face to face. She's probably trying to pout, but even through the tears, her eyes are sparkling, and her smile is radiant.
"D-Don't say that," she complains. "I-It has to happen again…"
His heart ba-bumps heavy in his chest, yet he feels calm. His entire world is in front of him, wrapped around him as fiercely as he is around her, and everything just feels right.
He knows, has known for a long time, that their friendship isn't just a friendship, not on either side. He knows, and she probably does too. Both of them are just… hesitant to finally cross that Rubicon. But… every day that passes, the closer he gets.
For now, all he can do is hold her as she cries the last of her tears, until slowly sobs regress to sniffles, and she's just holding him gently once more.
"Don't think I missed it, by the way," she says, pulling back to look at him with sleepy eyes. She'd been a bit more alert, as the emotions reached their peak, but now that she felt more at ease, it seems to have returned to her.
"Missed what?" She giggles at him before answering, poking a finger to his squishy cheek.
"You kissed me," she says, and now Ken wonders how much of the redness on her face was really from the crying. "Down bad nerd…"
"I-! Th-That wasn't-!" He stutters, and she's still giggling at him, much to his consternation. "Ayase-saaaan, this is mean…"
"I'm just stating what I see," she singsongs, looking up at him through half-lidded eyes. "Not complainin' neither."
"You need to go to bed," Ken says, trying to look anywhere other than what his eyes are naturally magnetized to. "You're sleepy and talking non-sense."
"You know I ain't," Ayase-san retorts, with a soft smack on his arm. "I am sleepy, though… too sleepy to walk, even. Whatever will I do…"
Ken gives her the blankest stare he can manage.
Yet another thing to note about a sleep-deprived Momo Ayase. She tended to be very transparent.
Still, he's only gotten worse and worse at resisting her pouts. Unfortunately, she knew how to look quite pitiful when she wanted to, stardust eyes shining with an impossible sadness.
A sadness that promptly evaporated the moment he hoisted her into a bridal carry, replaced by glee.
"Should do this more often," she mewls happily. "Makin' me feel all special."
"As if you didn't look at me like a wounded puppy." As if you aren't special.
"Bahhh, all's well that ends well," she says.
But, as he moves to lower her onto the bed… she hangs on. Tight.
"A-Ayase-san?" He pulls back to look her in the eye, to find the face of sleepy determination, staring back at him.
"Where ya gonna go?"
"Huh?"
Her grip tightens on the back of his shirt. "Where ya gonna go, after ya set me down?"
"I-I… was gonna go get a futon, if it's-"
"Nuh uh," she says, petulantly. "Want you in my bed. Please?"
"I-I-! B-But-! That's inappropriate! T-Think of what S-Seiko-san would say!" He was short-circuiting, surely, because there was no way she-
Her brow furrowed into a scowl. She was.
"If you're… uncomfortable with it, then that's okay…" she says, cheeks coloring a deeper red as she turns away from him. "B-But… I'd sleep better if it was with you. Dumbass."
Well, that made the decision for him, didn't it?
"Okay," he says, softly. She turns back to him with hopeful eyes.
"You're sure? I-I don't wanna force you to-"
"To sleep next to a pretty girl?" He finishes for her, smirking. "What a horror that would be."
She laughs gladly at that, finally releasing him, scooting to the wall of the bed to make room for him. "That's twice tonight you called me pretty. Really not beatin' the…" she's interrupted by a yawn. "Not beatin' the 'down bad' allegations."
"Never said I wasn't," he grumbles under his breath, crawling into bed next to her.
Before he's even fully settled, there's the weight of one metric Momo on top of him, as she rolls over to drape herself on him like a weighted blanket.
Maybe he did die earlier, but he doesn't know how many good deeds it would take to really warrant this.
Her arms wrap around him again, worming their way between his back and the mattress, and her forehead is in the crook of his neck. He can feel her breathing rhythmically on the skin of his neck.
"If you don't put your arms around me I'll die," she says, snuggling in closer to him.
He huffs out a laugh, before his hands come to encircle her. As they come to a rest on her lower back, they're interrupted by one of her hands, taking his and placing them… beneath her shirt.
"…Okay?" She checks, her hand still with his.
He's stiff for a moment, terrified of doing the wrong thing here, before he finally relaxes. His hands trace her back beneath her shirt, her skin lovely and warm beneath his fingertips. She shivers a bit, before sighing in contentment, nuzzling into his neck.
"Okay?" He asks now.
"Perfect," she purrs out, as her hands begin to move. "Can I…?"
He understands what she's asking, and nods with a gulp. Slowly, her hands work under his hoodie, coming to wrap back around him, skin on skin now. Her touch is electric, but… safe. He understands why she wanted this. There was something so lovely, staying in this moment of new-intimacy.
They stay there for some time, as Ken traces circles in her back, and she breathes in and out at a steady rhythm. Neither speak, Ken thinks that maybe she's asleep, and yet he wishes he could stay here eternally. He can feel her heartbeat against his chest, her breath on his cheek and neck, the warmth of her skin against his fingers, on his back, and he knows that the meaning of the word love will always be this, and moments like this.
"Okarun…" she says, not even half-awake, if her voice is any indication. "Can I tell you a secret?"
His heart skips a beat, and his hands stall for a second, continuing at her little whine. "I-Is it an important one?"
"Mm," she hums, nodding gently. "The most importantest, I think."
Everything in him wants to say yes. He knows, after all, what it is. He knows good and damned well what the secret is. All she has to do is say it, and they can finally… they can finally…
"C-Can you tell me in the morning?" He's an idiot. A stupid idiot. But he can't… won't let himself take advantage of her exhausted state. "I don't… don't want you to tell me something now and regret it later."
"Boo," she complains. "But okayyy… the mornin' then…"
He lets out a sigh of relief, making a mental note to absolutely badger her about it, coming morning. "Thank-"
He's cut off by movement, as her head shifts, and he feels full lips press firmly into his cheek. Too firm to be mistaken for any accident. Too bold to be anything other than exactly what it was.
"We can talk about that in the mornin', too," she says, nuzzling her face right back into his neck.
He makes a few sputtering noises that could barely considered words, face flushed and red, as his entire mind is reduced to the functions of maintaining her back rub, and trying to process what the hell to even think.
"Y-You k-kissed me," he stutters out dumbly, before trying to gather himself. "D-Down b-b-bad."
He can feel her smile against the skin of his neck.
"Never said I wasn't."