Chapter Text
The uncertainty was the worst part of it all
Dipper Pines was no stranger when it came to the encompassing feeling of both fear and nausea. The young boy had heard his parents fight from a young age, and truly wondered how they made it this long.
Maybe it was because of him and Mable
Maybe they just couldn’t stand it anymore
Whatever it was, he knew the end of the road was near. And their relationship, if even salvageable, wouldn’t work until the same rooftop. He’d seen his own friend’s parents divorce, and because of that, knew it was extremely hard on the children.
It caused trauma beyond means. Dipper just hoped that he wouldn’t have to go through that so young.
But at least he wasn’t alone
His friends didn’t all have amazing twin siblings who stuck through them thick through thin. They also didn’t have someone who could so easily bring a smile to their faces. Glancing over at a sleeping Mable, whose head rested on his shoulder. Dipper truly smiled.
With Mable by his side, his parents - most likely - divorce was not going to be as trauma-inducing. The thought had come to him about what he would do if their parents split them up.
He’d only come up with one solution
Run away. To where? He didn’t know. Maybe Gravity Falls, maybe to a few towns over. They were both smart enough, and could make it by. It was a half-baked plan, but all so worth it if it came to it. Mable would not be separated from him. It was never an option, nor choice.
Tree’s passed his vision, the bus fumes letting out sighs in the back. The seats were comfortable enough, but nothing could soothe the young boy. He had to hear it, without it, his anxiety would do nothing but chew him up.
Dipper had to know if his parents were going to be ok
Weirdly enough though, the young pine twin knew it wasn’t all because of that. He still couldn't sleep at night, his panic attacks were out of control. And without Mable, he might’ve just refused to come home. This forever-lasting trauma was here to stay, there was no alt delete button. It would take time, and for that, Dipper just had to be extra patient with himself.
Naturally, he pulled Mable closer to him. The amount of worry he’d felt when it came to her was enough to fill up a reservoir. Those three days….were the absolute worst three days of his life. He’d never forget it. Never forget how he grabbed the radio, said his part but heard nothing back. Thought that his sister might be laying dead in a ditch somewhere, or worse, becoming one of Bill’s toys.
He was going to have a hard time letting her out of his sight, but it was something he’d overcome. Someday, he would hopefully not have anxiety whenever his sister goes out. For now though, it was definitely going to become a daily occurrence.
It was something that had to be accepted
The rest of the bus ride back was really a blur. At some point, Dipper tried to fall asleep but as of course, saw the familiar triangle haunting his dreams and went back to the land of the living. Mable remained asleep for the most part, only moving a few times to remain comfortable. She never once leaned away from him, and for that, Dipper was extremely grateful.
By the time that they pulled up to their bus station, Mable and Dipper were both wide awake. So excited to finally get off the vehicle. Both of their legs were cramped, minds tired from so many things, and hungry beyond measure.
A burger, set of fries, and soda really sounded nice at the moment
They both grabbed their luggage and went running towards their parents. Their mom was on one side while their dad was on the other. Neither were wearing their wedding rings, and the space alone between them didn’t look like enough.
Dipper’s heart sunk
It was true, everything he had feared was true
“Hi kiddo’s!” Their dad proclaimed, putting a smile on for them. “Give me your luggage, you can tell us about your summer in the car.”
As Dipper handed over his luggage first, he waited, nervously clenching his hands. Once Mable gave us hers, he grabbed her hand as they walked to the back of the car. At this moment, he just couldn’t handle being alone, not when his worst nightmare was being played out.
His sister must’ve noticed something, but didn’t say anything. Simply just following and giving his hand a squeeze.
“Jason! Where are you putting the pig?!”
“Put it in the back with the kids!”
Dipper leaned over, bringing his voice down. “Their letting you keep Waddles?”
“I guess so, I thought they’d yell at me about it,” Mable shrugs. “But they just said that I could keep him, they were really weird about it.”
Another sinking feeling hit him as they both clambered into the car. It was obvious why their parents let them keep Waddles. They both felt bad about what they were about to say, it made entirely sense. If they were still together, they would’ve never allowed Waddles to touch their leather seats.
Once everything was settled, Jason started the car and pretty soon everyone was off. For a good chunk of it, there was only silence. The only noise being Mable playing with Waddles, and Dipper leaning his head against the window.
He so desperately wanted to ask
But it would only upset Mable, which was the last thing he wanted to do. It seemed Dipper would have to find a time to ask when they were alone. Which was 50% ok, he was patient.
A familiar yield sign on their street snagged his attention as they pulled in. Almost immediately, his heart started to pump and the all too familiar sense of adrenaline filled his veins. Curling in on himself, he tried to hide as much as humility possible.
He’s dead
He’s dead
Bill’s dead!
WHY IS BILL HERE?
Mable looked over, ready to get out when she saw it. It was all so familiar, and every time, it still left her wondering what to do. At the moment, she didn’t know what to say. But she could get him away from their parents for a start, that might help.
She runs out, opening her door and grabbing his hand. He blindly follows, close to the point of hyperventilation. Dipper’s eyes are extremely clouded with fear, so much that he doesn’t know himself anymore.
They both run into her room, as she closes the door. Their parents are sure to have questions, but that was really a later issue.
Dipper came first
He always would
“Hey Dipper, look at me. Ok?” She sits beside him on the bed, gently rubbing his back. “I’m right here. You have nothing to fear.”
“B..b…bu..but B..i…Bill”
“Is dead. Remember? We killed him. You're a hero, Dip.” She turns his chin to look at her. “You’re my hero, Dipper. You saved hundreds. Bill’s gone, he can’t hurt you anymore.”
Dipper tears up, sniffling softly. “I’m scared Mapes. I’m scared of losing you, I’m scared that he might come back…..”
She grabs his hands. “You have no need to fear, bro bro. I’m not going anywhere and we’ll kick his butt if he comes back.”
“Mable….”
“Do you trust me?”
Trust no one
Except, that had never gotten him anywhere, and he could whole heartily say that he would forever trust Mable. If even out of the whole world, she was the one he could trust at the moment. That was all he needed. All Dipper ever needed was her, she was his other half. And together, they could tackle anything together.
“I love you Mable, I love you so much.” He wraps her in a hug, burying his head in the crook of her neck.
Mable plays with his hair, smiling softly. “I love you to bro bro. And don’t you ever forget it.”
Dipper pulls back, laughing softly and wiping away a few tears. “Trust me, I wouldn’t”
“Good”
There was a long pause before either made a move. None of the pair wanted to leave each other, a secret reserve of some special kind of fear in their hearts. Bill had almost ruined everything, he’d almost killed the both of them a numerous number of times.
To recover from something like that felt impossible
But time didn’t stop, and the pine twins knew they had to face the music one day. Get back to living and not crying in fear. They’d both fall if they had to, if they were also there to pick each other up once again.
“We should probably go get our stuff.” Mable sighs, scooting closer. “What do we tell them?”
Dipper looks at the wall. “Let’s not say anything just yet. Ok?”
“Deal”
They both jump off the bed, heading downstairs. Their parents - as expected - have questions, but the twins are quick to come up with half-baked truths. It’s a miracle that they are believed. Although neither wanted to test their luck.
The subject of their divorce wasn’t brought up the entire night. Dipper would’ve maybe brought it up sooner, but he was truly emotionally and physically exhausted from the whole ordeal. He told himself that he’d bring it up tomorrow after a full eight hours of sleep.
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He just stared
Stared at absolutely nothing
It felt wrong
Usually he’d find some source of sound to help him fall asleep. As pure silence did not do him justice. But in his room, there was nothing. Not even the tick of clock, because he - being his smart self - got an electronic alarm instead. In the summer time when he shared a room with Mable, there had always been sources of sounds.
Her breath whistling through her braces, her movements which seemed to never cease. Dipper didn’t know his sister could move so much in her sleep. And for some odd reason, talked a bit while she dreamed. At first, it was nothing but an annoyance. Now, that’s exactly what he needed.
It felt wrong to not have his sister across from him, it felt as equally terrifying to not know if she was ok. Usually when he woke up from horrid dreams, he’d be able to look over and reassure himself Mable was breathing and well. He couldn’t do that anymore.
The walls separating them couldn’t have felt any thicker than they were. He heard absolutely nothing, and it pained him beyond disbelief. Dipper couldn’t even get any sleep because of his stupid irrational nightmares. Ok, maybe they weren’t irrational. But they were stupid.
Bill seemed to still be tormenting him from the grave, even if it wasn’t truly him. The triangle often enough sent dreams of Mable being killed, Ford being forever trapped, and Stan not being able to recover his memories. But his least favorite one was about him.
Dipper didn’t know about the note until Mable showed it to him shortly before he went adventuring with Grunkle Ford. At first, it was just a note. But in the dreams, the real deal actually happened. And what the cherry on top had been was that Mable followed through. She jumped off straight after him.
Whatever dream he was about to have tonight, was something he didn’t want to know
So he laid down
And stared at absolutely nothing
Listening to pure silence
Going insane
I’m ok
I don’t need sleep
He couldn’t do this anymore. It was killing him from the inside. Standing up, Dipper grabs a blanket and pillow, making his way across his wooden floor. Crossing the halls, knocking on the door. There’s no response, he goes in anyway.
Mable isn’t asleep he finds out. She’s holding one of her stuffies close, trying but failing to show she wasn’t just sobbing her eyes out. With no words exchanged, she opens her covers, scooting over to the wall. Dipper joined alongside her, reaching over and holding her close.
“It’ll be ok Mapes, we’ll be ok.” Is what he says softly, though he doesn’t fail to tear up himself.
She nods, not saying a word, but closing her eyes. Mable allows Dipper to hold her, because they know deep inside, they are broken. And maybe very well could be fixed, but for tonight, they had no outlet. The only solace they could find is in each other.
And for eternity, it would forever be a priceless thing