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Han wakes up to a radiating warmth against his back. He turns over, and gets a mouthful of sandy brown hair.
Luke.
In his bed.
Strangely, the idea isn’t as alarming as he’d once thought. It actually feels quite natural, limbs tangled together and Luke’s drool falling onto Han’s shoulder. Han hadn’t really ever considered the idea that waking up with someone else in your room could feel comforting.
He’s not sure he would have ever let himself feel like that. Not until Luke. Bit by bit he wore Han down until he was faced with no choice but to admit that what had grown between them was more than just friendship. By then Han was in too deep, anyway. Luke is Han’s last, and they both know it.
Beside him, Luke stirs, obviously distressed at the change in position. He throws his hand over Han’s chest, and groans sleepily. Han thinks he might wake up, but soon enough Luke’s breathing evens out and he melts back into Han’s embrace. Han stretches to reach for their cover, and pulls it back up over Luke, just above his shoulder.
He turns his head again, this time purposefully burying his face within the golden locks of Luke’s hair. Han breathes in deeply, the gentle smell of engine oil and cheap soap gracing his senses. Moments like this, Han feels more vulnerable, yet more safe than he has in a long time. He presses a soft kiss onto the crown of Luke’s head, praying to his lucky stars that this is never taken from him.
“I’m gone,” Han breathes, barely a whisper. “I’m gone for you, Luke.”
Luke hums, curling into Han. He slurs something unconsciously into Han’s chest. He’s always been a talker during sleep. Lately — before this — Han would hear him mumble and moan from the other bunk, more often than not shouting from some night terror. Han used to get up in the middle of the night and brush Luke’s hair back from his forehead, whispering some sappy thing that Luke would never remember come sunrise. It felt deceitful in a way, using Luke’s pain to fulfil some deeper desire to hold and comfort the boy, and yet… it always seemed to be the right thing to do.
Nowadays, if the occasional nightmare occurs, Han can just reach over and tuck the younger man under his arm, wasting no time to wipe Luke’s tears and kiss every inch of his darling face.
Han, on the other hand, is a silent sufferer. Anytime he’d wake up in a cold sweat, scream stuck in his throat, he’d make no effort to seek comfort from Luke. He’d only be disturbing the little peace Luke got, anyway. Those mornings Han could be found sitting in the cockpit, picking at the weathering leather of the seats and staring out into the vast unknown.
He tries not to make a habit of it now, but every so often Luke stumbles into the cockpit, blanket strewn across his shoulders, weary-eyed and confused. He’ll say, “Bad dream?” to Han, and Han will just shrug, shifting over to let Luke sit in the pilot’s seat as well.
It’s difficult for Han to outgrow the habits he believed made him a stronger person. Luke’s been good for that too, he thinks. Showing him that strength isn’t just a hard exterior and a lack of emotional articulation. Strength is… well, it’s whatever Luke is.
“Mmm…” Luke mumbles, “c’n hear you thinkin’...”
Han stifles a laugh. “Sorry, kiddo. If it makes you feel better, I was only thinkin’ about you.”
Luke groans as he stretches his arms out, eyes squinting shut. He lets out a deep breath and rolls onto his stomach, half on top of Han. He peers up at Han through his mussed hair, face drawing into a sleepy smile. “Been awake long?”
Han hums, an inconclusive sound. “Not sure, actually. Like I said, I just— had you on my mind.”
Luke grins. “You old sap,” he teases. “We oughta find you a real hobby.”
Han whacks Luke on the shoulder playfully, and Luke yelps, morning voice cracking. Shoving two hands under Luke’s armpits, Han flips them over, such that he lies on top of Luke, face barely inches away from his partner’s.
“Hey,” Han murmurs, “let me tell you something?”
“Hmm?” Luke mumbles, eyes locked onto Han’s lips. Han gives Luke a quick peck, and Luke shyly smiles.
“I… uh,” Han takes a deep breath, feeling his chest press further against Luke’s. “I love you.”
Luke’s mouth falls open, and for a moment Han feels like he’s screwed up somehow. It’s only when Luke’s toothy smile appears that Han relaxes, grinning into a kiss that Luke initiates by tugging Han’s lips to his.
“I love you too,” breathes Luke.