Chapter Text
[Paris, the afternoon of Amelie’s birthday]
Moments after they had hung up with Amelie, another phone number was being dialed. This time, it was Alya being dialed, on Marinette’s phone. Adrien was still sitting beside her, growing increasingly anxious as he chewed on the possibilities.
A couple nights ago, he and Marinette had seen Felix and Lila together at the fashion event, that much was established. Now she was meeting Felix’s mother? Clearly, they were either out of the loop on just how long they’d been together, or something sinister was amidst.
As the phone started ringing, Marinette turned to Adrien. “You heard that, too, right? Lila was the one handing the chocolates over to Amelie. What did she do to them?”
“We can’t assume too much though, Buginette.” Adrien cautioned, tapping his chin.
Tikki, who was sitting on the coffee table along with Plagg, nodded. Her enormous head practically tipping her over with each shake. “I agree with Adrien, Marinette. It’s been over a decade since the last time you even interacted with Lila, and that’s quite a while for you humans. She might have changed by now, especially since all that childish behavior was, well, when she was a child!”
“I dunno,” Plagg sided with Marinette, “that girl wasn’t just childish, she was straight up evil!”
Tikki rolled her eyes. “In what sense?”
“She nearly got me expelled!” Marinette spread her arms out dramatically, nearly concussing Adrien with her phone, but–as though practiced–he dodged it swiftly.
“She smelled like oranges, which are evil.” Plagg chimed in.
“She was super gross around Adrien. She constantly assaulted and harassed him!” Marinette returned.
Marinette and Plagg were now playing a game of verbal ping-pong. Throwing different accusations back and forth.
Plagg got a little excited. “She likes dogs, which are evil!”
“She weasled her way into Adrien’s home, technically without Adrien’s permission, and just to use him!”
“She lied to everyone!” Marinette blurted.
The room got quiet.
“Ok…” Tikki sighed, “So, a lot of that list isn’t exclusive from your adolescence, Marinette.”
Marinette shrunk. “I mean, I didn’t want to lie to everyone, and…”
Adrien squeezed her hand gently. “It’s alright, Marinette, you didn’t have a choice.” He looked at Tikki disapprovingly. “That wasn’t very nice to say. Lila lied for personal gain, not out of duty, they’re miles apart!”
“I wasn’t referring to that. Obviously, if a fellow guardian demanded Hawkmoth’s identity be hidden from the public, you oblige, end of story.” Tikki said, cringing as she added, “More people know the truth about Gabriel Agreste than really should… but for good reason. The general public, though, can’t know about the Celestial Law and what really happened to Gabriel Agreste.”
Marinette frowned. “Then, what were you referring to?”
“You snuck into several events held in the Agreste Mansion and you ended up getting Lila expelled!”
Adrien looked tempted to cover Tikki with an upside down mug, even if it wouldn’t have worked. “Marinette was always welcome and Lila deserved that!”
“Not the point.” Tikki shook her head.
Plagg interrupted, “Sugarcube, you know how you asked me to let you know when you were being annoying?”
“Anyway,” Tikki grumbled, “The point was that it’s unlikely she did anything to those chocolates and you’re being unfair!”
“Still.” she raised the phone to her ear. “Keep tabs with your aunt, Adrien. See if she gets suspiciously ill.”
Plagg smirked cheekily. “Could be your fault if she does get sick. I tried one and it did not sit well with me…”
As Marinette stared Plagg down silently, mouth agape, she was finally able to notice that the phone had stopped ringing.
“Ahem,” Alya’s voice pierced through the phone.
“Alya!” Marinette jumped as she turned to see her best friend on the screen, she hadn’t even remembered it was a video call.
“Girl.” Alya tilted her head down. “Like, I’m sorry I took so long to pick up, but don’t act surprised when you called me! I’ve been here trying to get your attention for a good three minutes.”
“So, you heard everything I was getting ready to tell you anyway?”
“I heard you dragging Lila, and I wanna know why that girl’s name is in your mouth again–” Alya paused, bracing herself as Marinette got herself wound up all over again.
“Lila and Felix are together!” Marinette shrieked.
“Bro, no way?!” Nino popped in behind Alya, mouth full of popcorn. They were walking together outside. Evidently, they’d just left the theatre, and Nino had asked for his usual post-movie refill. He lifted a buttery hand to greet Marinette.
Marinette waved back sweetly. “Yeah, we saw them a couple days ago at the fundraiser, and then again today at Amelie’s place!”
“She’s already at in-laws status?” Alya gasped.
“That’s if they’re actually together. This could be a Code Red, be on the look out both in and out of suit!” Marinette lifted a fist to her chest. Truthfully she looked a little ridiculous. It was starting to look like she was hungry for some action, and maybe an excuse to give Lila a long-overdue smackdown, since there wasn’t currently a big baddie on the loose. Sure, they had their jobs cut out for them in general, far from being on a sabbatical, but to Marinette this smelled of impending doom.
“I’m still stuck on Felix having a girl,” Nino remarked, “Mind you he has beef even with you, Marinette. For some reason. Bro has negative tolerance, how is he dealing with Lila?”
“Maybe that’s just it!” Marinette practically growled, starting to look crazy. “You take the most intolerant guy you know, and you put him with the most UNLIKEABLE BI–”
[London, the morning after Amelie’s birthday]
Lila stirred in her sleep, finally opening her eyes when she felt hot breath on her neck. She looked back and saw Felix, laid up against her and propped up on one arm. He was leaning down, lips near the nape of her neck, and a hand on her hip.
“Sorry,” he whispered. “This is the first time we wake up beside each other and the curve of your neck was calling to me.”
“What are you, a vampire?” She slurred, blinking slowly.
“Anyway.” He started to pull back. “I nearly forgot you didn’t like physical contact too early in the morning, I’ll just–”
Lila grunted and rolled onto her back, catching Felix’s collar and pulling him back down. “That was just a joke, dummy.”
Felix didn’t waste any time. He drank her up. When his lips weren’t on hers, they were on her jawline, her neck, her sternum, her breast. Lila’s nails raked his messy hair. She arched her back to lean into him. He slid a hand underneath her shirt from the waist and brushed her stomach. She wrapped her leg around his waist.
He drew back.
“I’m not doing this in my mother’s penthouse,” he muttered desperately.
He stood up and went to the en-suite to brush his teeth while Lila stared daggers into his back.
“Are you baiting me into sharing a room with you at your place?” She asked, snarkily.
Felix applied paste to his toothbrush. “I’m not implying or forcing anything onto you, I simply made a statement.”
“Well, it was still mean.”
“I know.” He paused as he lifted the brush to his mouth. “You can go ahead and clobber me with that frying pan like you promised.”
“Huh? So you do get it then.” Lila scoffed. She briefly waited for him while he brushed his teeth, but grew impatient and got out of bed. She crouched in front of her back on the side of the bed opposite to the bathroom and gathered her things. Peering over the top of the bed to check that Felix wasn’t looking, she unraveled the scarf on her head.
Her wig was still on, but it needed some shaping. Lila quickly ran a brush through to at least get it to a natural-looking state before Felix was out of the bathroom. She then slipped out of her tank top and started to get dressed.
She heard Felix step out.
“Yes, I know what you were referring to now,” he finally replied, “though my extensive research suggests the practice far predates the movie ‘Tangled’, I did watch it while you were asleep.”
Lila emerged from the other side of the bed, lifting her jeans over hips as she rose. She had noticed him wearing headphones and using the bedroom television while she was half-asleep, she couldn’t have been bothered to check out what he was watching.
“Seriously?”
“Yes, it was actually not half bad. Oh, and… Eugene Fitzherbert.”
“What?”
“You referred to him as Flynn Rider. His real name is Eugene Fitzherbert.” He paused thoughtfully as he unbuttoned his pajama shirt. “I believe he announced that around the time he and Rapunzel were growing close. And she fell for him right after he shared his true history…”
Felix trailed off and Lila just side-eyed him before they continued to get ready. They finished getting dressed and packed in silence. It wasn’t until they were walking down the hallway to the breakfast table together that Lila spoke again.
“I don’t want anything except a smoothie,” she mumbled.
Felix frowned. “All you had for dinner last night was that wrap while wearing your face mask and watching Love Island. I’m hungry and I ate–”
“You’ll eat my fist if you don’t… oh God. Let me stop appropriating your family tradition.” Lila sighed dramatically.
“Not tradition.” Felix lifted a finger. “Not one being carried out past my father’s death anyway. He’s gone, I don’t give a damn about anything regarding him anymore. Speak freely, restraint doesn’t suit you.”
Lila snorted. “You’re so right. That’s how you know I’m not restraining my appetite either. I hate eating in the morning, everything looks and tastes gross. Just take me somewhere nice and filling tonight.”
“And for lunch?”
“Whatever you want.”
“Whatever I want?!”
Before Lila could address his befuddlement, Amelie greeted them at the table.
“Good morning! Did you both sleep well?”
“Perfectly, Mother, thank you.” Felix sat himself down in sync with Amelie.
Lila stood awkwardly to the side with her and Felix’s luggage.
Amelie smiled. “Someone will take those down for you. I’ll have my driver take you to the train station.”
Lila inched forward but was still unsure of how to speak to Amelie. She’d bolted right after Amelie shared such kind words. Now, Amelie was smiling and not pressing a single question.
“Oh, I get it,” Amelie said, causing Lila to perk up. “You don’t want to go home. It’s much more lavish here than the apartment Felix picked, isn’t it?”
Felix shrugged. “I like to live more humbly.”
“Your life is far from humble, Felix, how much is your rent again?” Amelie chuckled. “Lila, you can spend the night whenever you’d like. Even without Felix. Both are your home.”
“Well, your private spa is really nice…” Lila replied.
“That’s right! Come here, Lila girl, ask the kitchen staff for whatever you’d like.”
Felix and Lila were getting ready to go down the elevator, saying their goodbyes. Amelie was focused on Lila.
“Aww, seriously I miss you already.” Amelie pulled Lila into a tight embrace. Though Lila was stiff, she raised a hand to Amelie’s upper back.
Lila opened her mouth, then closed it again.
“You know what? Drop by whenever Felix drives you crazy,” Amelie added.
“I’ll practically live here, then,” Lila giggled.
“Sounds good to me!” Amelie pulled away, turning to her son. “But you need to treat her better!”
Felix started to complain, but gave up, rolling his eyes.
Amelie brushed hair from the sides of Lila’s face. “If he fumbles you can I still adopt you and take you shopping and all?”
Lila was speechless. She couldn’t understand it. This woman must’ve had poor judgement. In no way could Lila figure out why Amelie would mean any of that. But she couldn’t accuse Amelie of lying either, because she’d heard everything during the conversation with Felix. Lila figured that Amelie must have had her beat in the Crazy Olympics. She nodded slowly.
“Promise?” Amelie laughed. “You hear that, Felix? Make her my daughter or I will.”
“Alright, I think you’re scaring her. Go on and let her go,” Felix sighed.
Amelie slid her hands down from Lila’s shoulders, tracing along Lila’s arms until she was holding her wrists. Amelie's eyes were sparkling with tears. Lila looked away.
Even once she finally let Felix and Lila step into the elevator, Amelie reminded Lila that they’d exchanged phone numbers, and that Lila could call any time.
Lila pointed out the car window. “That’s where the Annoushka boutique is! Let’s stop there real quick!”
“I was just there– that is, I just got you something of theirs!” Felix whined. “Say, you know this area?”
“Sure,” Lila drawled. There was an odd energy to her now. “I know where all the Annoushka locations are by heart.”
Felix paused. Suddenly he looked uncomfortable. “Well, anyway, Mother’s driver is dropping us off at the station and heading straight back. No detours.”
Lila was past that. “Where did you manage to find Annoushka in Paris, anyway?”
“Some jeweler known for bringing in exclusive items, the name escapes me…” Felix turned his head straight forward, avoiding Lila.
“Hmm!” Lila sighed.
Felix cleared his throat and checked his watch. “When we arrive in Paris, it’ll be an hour past noon. Anything you’d like to do?”
Lila crossed her arms. “I need to speak with Marinette.”
“Oh?”
“She’s definitely gonna be a problem. We already go way back, and now I’m back on her radar.”
Lila looked serious. Her mind was clearly swirling with ideas.
“Sure. So how do you plan on talking with her?” Felix studied Lila’s expression. There was something else on her mind, but Felix couldn’t make it out.
“What, don’t tell me you don’t constantly know their whereabouts? You expect me to believe that?” Lila squinted at him.
Felix sighed, biting his lip. “Adrien and Marinette will be at the Louvre this afternoon… to see the new exhibit.”
Lila smirked. “Let’s go to the Louvre, Felix.”
Felix was sweating. Profusely. Lila kept having to let go of his grasp and would wipe her hand against her jeans. It was not that warm out. In fact, he and Lila were indoors. They were standing inside the Louvre, looking at a painting at the start of the new exhibit. But Felix wasn’t quite focused on the painting. He was throwing looks over his shoulder, eyeing a couple across the way.
Adrien and Marinette were seen arms linked and laughing together. Marinette was pointing up at something and Adrien was watching intently. That’s when Felix had messed up. He looked back right when Adrien was turned toward Marinette. A small glance up, and Adrien had caught his gaze. Adrien’s smile dropped.
“Oh, damn.” Felix hissed.
Lila had seen the whole thing. She didn’t bother disguising the amusement in her voice. “The way you drain all the joy out of his eyes… it’s kinda hot.”
Felix grumbled to himself before looking to Lila in a panic. “What now?”
“What do you mean ‘what now’?” Lila started pulling Felix by the arm. “What’s done is done. They saw us. It’ll be more suspicious if we pretend not to see them…”
“Wait…” Felix whispered, “we aren’t going straight to them!”
“Duh, we are!” Lila lifted her hand and waved. “Marinette!”
Marinette whirled around like a dog responding to a distant howl. Adrien was already staring. Together they looked like they were posing for the cover of a Mission Impossible movie.
“It’s been soooo long.” Lila clasped her hands together as she closed the distance between the two couples with one final step. “I heard you two will be getting married later this year!”
“Did you now?” Marinette said through a clenched jaw.
“No worries, Marinette, I totally get that I’m the odd one out here. I’ll just be over here while you three catch up!” Lila, like she was following a script–one completely imaginary to Felix–waltzed away and threw a look back at Felix. It was as if to say ‘here’s your shot, so take it.’
Marinette watched Lila’s every move. She wasn’t gonna let Lila slip away, so she followed after her. Both couples were throwing coded glances at each other.
Lila was pretending to be entranced by the painting in front of her when Marinette came up behind her.
A smile crept onto Lila’s face. “So, you finally started digging into Adrien’s wallet?”
Marinette already looked disgusted. It was impossibly easy to get under her skin. “What?! No! I’m not like that–”
“Isn’t that Chanel?”
Lila was referring to Marinette’s outfit. She was all dolled up in a beige and pink two-piece dress set, beige heels, and a pink purse, all from Chanel.
Marinette looked down at herself. “Adrien didn’t get this for me. Amelie did.”
Lila’s smile was wiped from her face.
Marinette continued. “Amelie is just generous like that. She loves Chanel and said she thought of me when she saw this set.”
Lila hummed indifferently, scanning her eyes up and down. “Maybe you should ask her to get you a new engagement ring, too…”
“Excuse me?”
“It’s just, she might’ve saved you the embarrassment from that tiny thing!” Lila laughed.
Marinette cradled her left hand to her chest. “Size doesn’t matter!”
“Oh, I’m sure.”
“YOU-” Marinette stopped herself. Not only was she getting too loud, she’d almost been baited into sharing details that were none of Lila’s business. “This is the exact kind of ring I wanted, Adrien just got me what he knew I would like!”
“You chose it? Engagement rings are supposed to be a surprise, to impress you with.”
Marinette took a step toward Lila. “An attitude like that will leave you unmarried for the rest of your life!”
“Not everyone cares about marriage, Marinette, so… whatever?”
“Well, you sure as hell seem invested in mine. Do you still want Adrien or something?!”
“Pleeaasse.” Lila threw her head back. “Why would I want Adrien? I already have the better twin…”
Marinette scoffed.
“What?” Lila suddenly looked irritated. “Or don’t you believe Felix could be better than Adrien?”
“What are you talking about?!” Marinette’s voice raised again. “Why are you even comparing them, who does that?”
“Ask Adrien…” Lila muttered.
Just then, Felix was running to her side; Adrien was by Marinette.
“Lila, how is everything over here? What have you two been talking about?” Felix looked desperate. He and Adrien had heard some of the ruckus.
Marinette answered first, crossing her arms as she stared Lila down. “Lila was just mocking my engagement ring.”
“Oh, dear God.” Felix muttered.
All three of them were staring at Lila, clearly expecting an apology. Lila glanced between them. She let her eyes rest on Felix, who looked embarrassed and disappointed. She froze.
“You know what?” Marinette started. “Forget it, nice seeing you…”
As Marinette started to turn away, Lila felt herself leap forward. She placed her foot right underneath Marinette’s, primed to be crushed by Marinette’s heel.
Lila let out a shriek.