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The sound of footsteps on tile muddled together with a myriad of voices into the white noise of a school hallway. Some students huddled into small groups, while others continued their conversations as they walked. Daylight cast muted shadows against the floors that danced with people’s movements.
Kotone gingerly made her way through the crowd. In the past, she would’ve skipped down these halls, but she has been weaker of late. Since waking from the coma, her life hadn’t been the same. She used to be looked up to, like she was on a pedestal; the pressure to be a leader was once a convenient and welcome distraction. Nowadays, everyone looks at her as if she were a fragile doll. Although they say they just miss everyone, Mitsuru and Akihiko visit the dorm quite often to make sure her health is improving. Aigis had stopped breaking into her room since Nyx was sealed, but she still checks her vitals with Yukari’s help every night. Ken and Junpei have taken on the chores she used to do around the dorm, telling her she needs to rest, but thankfully, they haven’t taken her walks with Koromaru. Amusingly enough, Fuuka has made great improvements in her culinary skills since taking on the role of her personal cook. All thanks to Shinjiro’s supervision, of course. Speaking of which.
Under the midday sun, the rooftop became almost blinding. Very few people came to the rooftop during lunch, but it’s become rather popular for girls this year. Of course, girls also brought the attention of boys. This formerly quiet and lonely place had gotten so lively. Kotone got up on her tiptoes to see over the students and spotted Shinjiro’s towering frame. She carefully slipped past the crowd, excusing herself whenever she nudged someone. She could see Shinjiro’s scrunched face. His rugged features were no longer hidden under his hat and hair, which he recently cut. It was still long enough to tie back, which framed his face like a prince in a shoujo manga. The Kirijo group had provided them with medicine that helped their failing bodies, and the effects on him were almost magical. His eyes were less sunken, and his cheeks had started to fill out. By no means was he lanky before; his arms, toned from swinging around his axe, but his build had become more solid, his broad chest filling out the school’s uniform.
Kotone sat back in the crowd, admiring how Shinjiro squirmed under the attention of the girls. Some offered dates, some gifts, some even money. It was almost like how those girls treated Aki when they would hang out. His poor attempt at hiding his irritation was amusing to watch till a girl got especially touchy and placed a bold hand on his chest.
Suddenly seeing red, Kotone pushed her way into the center of the crowd and locked eyes with Shinjiro. His gaze softened, and a clumsy smile tugged at his lips. When Kotone returned with a closed-mouth sneer, his face suddenly flashed alarm, and he pushed away the girl’s hand.
“Koto-chan!” Shinjiro loudly called as he stumbled to his girl. He tried to make sure that everyone heard that honorific. A wave of disappointment washed over the crowd, which slowly dispersed.
Despite gritting her teeth, Kotone smiled and stepped up to him. “Let’s eat in the courtyard today, Shinji-kun!”
Before he could respond, she firmly grasped his arm and dragged him down the stairs and through the halls. Shinjiro protested for her to slow down, but of course, she didn’t listen. She didn’t pay attention to the whispers or watching eyes either. A frail girl lugging around a giant man through the school. Shinjiro suddenly planted his feet on the ground, almost giving her whiplash with how abruptly they stopped.
“Kotone,” he barked, whirling her around to face him. He pressed his palms on her shoulders and locked eyes. “I told you to slow down.”
She hadn’t noticed that she was breathing so hard. The new limitations on her body were still hard to get used to. Placing a hand on her chest, she calmed her breathing. Shinjiro’s steel cool eyes felt like a gentle breeze. He said he only wanted to go back to school because he wasn’t letting her graduate before him, but she could tell he wanted to be with her. He took every opportunity to meet up with her in between classes and always asked how she was feeling.
“Deep breaths,” he repeated like a mantra.
The two took their time on their way to the courtyard. The bright sun warmed them, Kotone shrugging off her jacket to feel it on her skin. They sat on an empty bench at the edge of the courtyard, where it looked like no one would bother them.
“Jealousy looks good on you.” Shinjiro pinched her cheek before pulling out two bentos from his bag.
“And what would’ve happened if I didn’t step in?”
“Tch, you know I don’t talk to anyone outside the dorm.”
Crispy chicken, fresh lettuce and tomato slices, and a secret sauce that Shinjiro makes, sandwiched in between sweet, fluffy bread. Something about the flavors he used felt comforting, like a warm hug or a conversation with a friend.
“When are you gonna tell me how to make this sauce?” Kotone said, in between mouthfuls, a bit of the chicken’s juices dripping down to her cheek.
Shinjiro chuckled and wiped her chin with his thumb, licking it clean after. “I told you it’s a secret. Maybe one day, I’ll tell our kids.”
At those words, Kotone started choking. A gasp of shock got caught in her chicken sandwich, sending her into a coughing fit.
“Shit,” Shinjiro cursed as he uncapped a water bottle and roughly patted her back. Eventually, her coughing subsided, and she took the waterbottle, gulping it down.
“Good luck telling our kids when I die from your food,” Kotone wheezed, wiping her mouth with her sleeve. “...or when I castrate you for cheating on me.”
Laughing, he flicked her nose. “You know I wouldn’t cheat on you, it’s you I gotta be worried about.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re more popular with guys here than I am with girls, and I still remember you coming home smelling like that French kid last year.”
Kotone looked at him with wide eyes before bursting out in laughter. “You were jealous of Bebe?”
Shinjiro took a bite of his sandwich, hiding his reddening face.
“I used to borrow his perfumes because he had some nice French stuff. Besides, you never noticed how he oggled Aki?”
They spent some time on that subject. Eventually, it became a game. It didn’t take long for Kotone to realize she was losing. Shinjiro had only recently become one of the school’s heartthrobs, and according to him, boys have been fawning over her since last year. Still, some of the names he mentioned were funny. Junpei and Aki, of course, were their dormmates, and rumors of her dating them have been around for a while. Surprisingly, Shinjiro also looked at Saori and Aigis as competition.
They got ready to head back when the warning bell rang. As they walked, Shinjiro spoke.
“About what you said earlier, I know I keep making you promise me things, but…”
During the pause, Kotone tried to guess what he was gonna say. Did she say something weird while they were eating? She racked her brain to remember her words. What he did say took her aback.
“Don’t die before me.”
She hadn’t seen that look in his eyes in so long. Downcast and glazed over. The same eyes that asked to ‘forgive everything else’. The same eyes she gazed into right before she went into a coma.
Death had become a natural part of conversation to them. A passing joke about their mortality would’ve been met with relentless concerned follow-up if they had made it with their other friends, but not to them. Their brushes with death gave them a deeper understanding of each other. Many late nights were spent in his room talking about it. Some may say that they’ve desensitized each other to it, but they viewed it as finally having someone to listen.
“That’s a selfish thing to say, Shinji.” The thought of losing him tore at her stomach.
Her cheeks ached remembering how hard she faked her smile the first time she lost him. She had gotten skilled at it since the death of her parents, but something about only seeing him in that hospital bed broke her. In that cold room, she talked to him, knowing there would be no response. Even though she was with her lover, she was alone. She couldn’t hide how tired she was, despite her best efforts to feign her trademark cheer. She told him how her impending doom brought her comfort last spring. Just a few more weeks of pretending to be happy, and she would be at peace.
Seeing his teary eyes on March 5th changed everything. Her spark of life had reignited, seeing her reason to live. Those five words burned the determination in her to keep living, despite the sacrifice she had made.
“‘I’m glad I met you…”
The sight of her friends surrounding her when she woke up almost made her think she had died and gone to heaven. Wherever her parents are, they are glad to see her live. It was the second time in her life that she saw Shinjiro cry. His body was shaking with sobs as he hugged her. When Mitsuru finally let her visit the station, she went to the Velvet Room. Igor and Elizabeth were shocked to see her. According to them, the beautiful power of human determination led her to seal away Nyx with just a piece of her soul and continue living. She had fought so hard, body, mind, and soul. She knew that one day, she would face the embrace of death again, and it didn’t scare her. However, she didn’t extend that attitude to her friends.
“You already got to die before me, Senpai,” Kotone half-chuckled. “I get dibs on the next time.”
Shinjiro reached out and rubbed her cheek. She hadn’t realized that she was crying, and he was wiping her tears.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” he cut himself off, not wanting to upset her anymore.
Kotone wiped her cheeks with the cuffs of her sleeves, accidentally hitting herself in the eye with her leather watch. She laughed at her own clumsiness, Shinjiro joining hesitantly.
“Maybe I should’ve gotten you a necklace instead,” he cooed, cupping her face and checking her eye. He planted a soft kiss on her forehead and lips. “Looks like you won’t go blind at least.”
The accident lightened both of their moods. As they climbed to the entrance, Kotone asked, “Do you want to join Fuuka in the cooking club today?”
“Up to you,” Shinjiro responded. “It’s either that or we can go to that cafe.”
She thought about it for a minute. Before she joined, the club was just Fuuka. Back then, most people would’ve viewed her cooking prowess as a lost cause, but she did give her the confidence to keep honing her craft. However, with her cooking at the dorms more often, her skills had dramatically improved. Shinji was a welcome addition to the cooking club when he agreed to come back to school. Unfortunately, this has also led to a large influx of students joining the club to see him.
The thought of it had jealousy bubbling up in Kotone’s stomach once again.
“Cafe sounds nice.”