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A slippery partner

Summary:

ACME gets their hands on a V.I.L.E. agent. A real one. This case could define history, and it's Julia's last hope that chief could be swayed from hunting down Carmen Sandiego after the catastrophic data breach.

And out of any operative it's Neal. Of course it had to be Neal.

(Also V.I.L.E just called, and they want their eal back.)

Notes:

This probably isn't how you imagined this ship to be and it's okay if this fic isn't your thing but but I just wanted to say thank you to the person shipping these two for inspiring me. I haven't had this much fun writing in a long time.

I saw that someone was shipping Julia and Neil the Eal in the tags and wondered "How does that work?" And then spiralled into insanity. (The fun kind) Welcome to my twisted psyche.

Chapter 1: Get a grip

Chapter Text

Everything will change when they solve this case. It's the first real V.I.L.E insider ACME has ever seen. Everything will finally start moving. Julia mentally repeats the lines to herself as Neil does a taste test of her toothpastes. 

Honestly, she didn't think it could get any worse than after...after this evening. God it's an utter miracle chief trusted Julia with this idea. The universe had to temper her expectations after that victory. If not working with Carmen, then at least working with an allegedly former V.I.L.E agent. Why it could prove the existence of V.I.L.E without a shadow of a doubt. Prove Carmens' innocence and so much more.

Julia was especially desperate after how she messed up in Stockholm.

Not to mention how Carmen hacked ACME, causing the greatest data breach in history, right when Chief was starting to trust her. It was looking hopeless, so Julia really needed this new lead.

Neal's only condition is that he works only with Julia. It sounded good at first, now she regrets it.

Why are the bedsheets soaked? Her bed is completely and utterly, fucking soaked. 

The blankets stick to the sheets and they are heavy with water. They also make this aweful, wet sloshing noise. Julia could feel a scream trapped in her throat. 

She's a detective she can duduce this situation. The culprit? Well there's an incrimimating wet suit slung over the bedframe. 

That slimy little eal!

"Neil!" Julia demands.

"What do you call this?"  She points at her wasteland of a queen sized bed.

"I'm sorry Julia." Neal says. He comes in dressed in only his underwear. At least he took his wet suit off occasionally.

She crosses her arms and looks...surprised. Did he just-apologise for something? She's almost impressed


"I'm sorry." He continued. "I couldn't find the ice but I bought a couple beers on the way here." He then proceeds to pop one open using...his front teeth.

Julia wonders watches in disbelief. What would a dentist say?-actually, she'd rather not think about it.


"Wait-how did you buy that." Julia says and then hurriedly pads down her pocket. Her previously full pocket. At least she can stop looking for her wallet...

He slips intp the bed so smooth, like a knife cutting through butter. If she wasn't so pissed she'd be impressed. 

Now she glares at him so hard, hoping it'll turn him to stone. If only she was Medusa. 

All while he's chugging. 

He then stops breifly when the bottle is already done, and lets out a long, satisfied sigh. 

"Oh you gotta try this! C'mon, who cares about chief, lets wash the evening down." He says and holds a beer out to her, shaking it like a shiny keychain, as if he were entertaining a baby.

"I can't believe you're getting drunk in my bed."

Neil twirls the beer bottle between his fingers. "Seriously? Beacuse you really should have seen that coming." He chortles before turning his bottle up and downing the rest.

She pinches her nose bridge. "I don't think anyone would would look at you and honestly believe you're part of the most secretive criminal organisation the world couldn't even dream of."

"--I mean, are you even associated with V.I.L.E? For all chief knew you're just a slimy pickpocket who got cocky trying and failing to steal the masks in Venice and took advantage of our hopes for a get-out-of-jail-free-card."

"Well if I told you my secrets, they wouldn't be secrets now would they?" Not even a few seconds after Neal has said that and he's already slipped past Julia and is playing with the musuem brochure she's kept from Mumbai from her front pocket.

"Alright, let's say I'm conning you, then Chief thinks I'm a normal criminal. Which, by the way, you had to convince her I wasn't. And in the ten minutes that I've known her, it's obvious she never listens to you anyway. Why do you even care what she thinks?" 

Julia tries to snatch the brochure back from him, Neil weaves out of the way and folds the brochure nicely onto the night stand.

Julia grasps it. "It's wet!" She gasps. She liked that brochure. "Nooo.." she murmurs as the paper starts to dissolve in her hand.

For a moment he looks ashamed, he even seems to wince when he sees Julia's face.

"Whoops!" He quickly switches up to smiling when Julia looks up at him fully.

She puts the brochure down in defeat. "Hmm" Julia rubs her chin and tries to look as if she's thinking.

"And if I tell her what you're a V.I.L.E spy whose trying to decieve his way back to his masters, informing them of our plans. What if your foolishness is an act? That wouldn't go unnoticed by ACME, and we wouldn't lose our grip. You'd be like a fish on a spear!"

Neil pauses "And you think Chief will belive that?" He's trying hard to sound as if he doesn't care, but his shoulders seem to stiffen when he says it. 

"Why would she believe you over me?" Julia asks with a smile creeping across her face.

Neal pauses.

"Yeah, actually Why would she?" Neil responds with a chuckle.

Julia's is silent. Her mind quickly becomes a cornered tiger. she tries to find the words fight, but nothing wants to come out. It hurts too much because of what she knows...

"Look Argent, you are amoung ACME's finest, When your head is in the game." Chiefs words echo in her head." Chief didn't meant it be so...but having to explain herself, over and over again just to be met with dissmissal. It...Hurt

Hell-not just dismissal, Stockholm was Chief going right over Julia's head. Perhaps even using her as unsuspecting bait for Carmen Sandiego.

Julia can't find an arguement because it would have nothing to stand on. 

"My head is in the game, it's my heart that's not. This is about me realsing I need to believe in my work." Those were Julia's own words to chief that day, they ring loud in her mind now.

Neil wears a smug smile, he seems infested with that emotion. He's an ugly mushroom, batheing in the dead, rotting stump of her fallen dreams.

He's devouring her self-esteem until she's hollowed out.

Everything he does makes Julia's skin feel like cockroaches crawling over her while she pretends she has a grip lest her piers lose faith in her ability to handle him or handle anything. He's a pest. 

"You know what, fine. You clearly don't want to help me, You're free to go!" Julia declares.

"You're just going to drop the case?!" Neil isn't looking smug anymore, his mind looks like it's scrambling to gather its scattered wits in front of her.

"Why?" Neil seems to beg.

Good.

"Actually, I'm dropping everything. I'm leaving ACME. I quit! I'll say you were just a pickpocket avoiding jail and you left once you got my wallet. Of course I still have my ACME key card. They won't want you. You. Are. Free. To. Go." 

Neil falls silent.

Julia picks up the brochure on the night stand, and throws it out in front of him, letting it loose to drop to the floor heavy, pathetic and soaked. Like everything in her life right now. 

She walks past him without looking, and slams the door behind her.

Chapter 2: Long gone

Chapter Text

There's a rolling sound of a suicase as it goes by. The tune of the intercom system chimes, echoing through the terminal. Good morning passengers, this is the pre-boarding annoucement for flight DAL2000 to San Diego. Please go to gate 7C

Julia sighs. She drags her head into the direction of the board to see if her gate has been announced yet. She scans for VCE to LHR (which stands for Marco Polo Venice airport to London Heathrow airport).

No informatiom on her gate number yet. God, it's 5PM and her flight has been delayed by almost an hour now. It seems the march of defeat was going to be slow.

Neil is long gone by now, and Chief is officially a lost cause without him. Not her problem anymore she supposes. Neil was right about one thing though. Chief never listens. Actually, no one listens to Julia. When she becomes a lecturer, people will have showed up and paid specifically to hear about 'Dull facts about boring things.' As Devinaux so gracefullly put it.

She has a good shot of getting accepted into the history department of Cambridge University. Hasn't this been close to her dream, really? It feels mixed now. Oh well, once she leaves this all behind things will be looking up. 

Perhaps she'll even meet Carmen on a caper in the Fitz William museum, or the other museums at Cambridge. 

If she told her younger self where she was going, she's leap for joy. Maybe it was going to be okay afterall.

"You look happy." 

Julia suddenly hears. What? She was sitting all alone in an empty seating area just moments ago.

"Thank you...sir." She replies instinctively.

"You were smiling. How lovely." He says with a thick Russian accent. 

He's dressed...interestingly. Wearing dull colours. His face looks drained. Life less.

Julia doesn't make a sound. She forces a smile. It's a challenge not swinging her head round like like a panicked hare turning to bolt off.

But when she turns there's another, shorter man sitting next to her. With a stare that could freeze rivers over. She feels a cold chill up her spine. She turns her head for one second and he appears?

"Off to somewhere...?" He says slowly without even looking at her.

...A silence clings in the air as Julia tries not to make eye contact with either of them.

"L-London. And I need to go to my gate. Now." 

The tall, slender man to the right of her takes a glance at the board displaying the gates. Her heart races. 

He finally looks back at Julia slowly.
"Have a safe journey." He says.

Julia nods and picks up her suit case. Her clacking shoes sound so loud echoing through the building. She really steps as quickly as she can.

She eventually gets to a part of the building full with shops and restaurants and loud chatting. More witnesses, more people. That's better. She glances around for the two men.

She goes over to a duty-free store and decides she needs a drink before she can process anything. 

After grabbing some expensive haribos and some duty-free wine. She decides to look up at the board. And what do you know. Her flights arrived-? How? It says at...gate7C? 

Then there's a loud clattering and a smash as the wine bottle hits the floor, blood red liquid stains Julia's formal suit, contrasting vividly with her pale, sucked empty expression. 

She shrieks as it hits the floor. Startled. People sitting at the cafés surrounding her stare and start whispering. 

A janitor comes over and starts saying something in Italian. He gestures something to Julia and starts mopping.

He repeats himself when Julia doesn't answer. 

He sighs "Your flight, ma'am?." He decides to say in English this time.

"BA1200 to London Heathrow." 

The man looks at the board. "They're waiting for you at Gate 7C."

"Thank you. I won't miss it." Just like Neal, she hopes to be long gone. 



So she did eventually go to Gate 7C, as it turns out her flight just got 'rerouted' as in British Airways just put her and many other passengers onto another plane heading for the same destination.

It was a rough flight, the plane danced around in the sky with occasional drops that felt like she was on a rollercoaster.
She thoughts the wings were going to fall off the plane. The persom sitting next to her was laughing like a lunatic.

"Did you know the Airbus350 has wings that were designed yo be able to bend up to 17 feet from their normal positions?" 
That same person said. Somewhat comfortingly.


Anyway, 4 hours later she's already seeing the chalk cliffs rising above the seashore in Kent as the plane flues across the English channel. She feels her ears pop as they descend.

She's finally landed and waiting for a taxi.

She thought she might call an Uber, but just then a black cab rolls up to her. The iconic London taxi, she supposed it couldn't hurt to have someone driving with the knowledge of London. 

But when the driver rolls down the window Julia goes pale.

A hand is placed on her shoulder somewhere behind her. Not him too. "Welcome home. Come quietly." He says with the familiar icy voice. "Boris will drive." 

Before Julia can say anything she feels a prick, like something stung her. It burns. She tries to speak but her speach is slurred. She tries to make a fist but her hands fall limp within seconds

 

"Let me help you." He says to her as he grabs her.

Julia's eyes dart desperately to the people rushing around on the street, she flails uselessy as she's placed gently onto the seat. Her mind screams without a sound escaping her mouth. 

As she gets her seatbelt put on she can see another tall, Raven haired figure sitting down across from her. She can't make out his expression, or his face. Everything is blurry. She wonders if her glasses have fallen off her face, and which way she's facing.

"An Eal and a little bird. How cute." The one behind the wheel who is presumably 'Boris' says with an unsettling pleasure in his voice. 

Chapter 3: Guts

Summary:

Julia slowly comes to as the poison wears off and their taxi arrives.

Notes:

Slight body horror warning for this chapter.

Chapter Text

Julia can't see. Though, she's really tried. It's all just pitch black. 

She feels like floating, her feet don't touch the ground, she can feel her body is heavy, but can't tell which way gravity is pulling it. She can't even feel where her arms are. 

She feels herself getting knocked around.

There's also the sound of muffled speach. Despite not understanding a word of it, she recognises the voice instantly. However, she can't connect the voice to a face. But it feels important.

She strains to remember, but she only gets a vague concept, a faceless person. The actual identity slips through her fingers, out of her mind's grasp. 

How does a fish live out of water for so long? The question echoes from a part of her mind that feels like it's split off from her and she can't real it in. It's like cutting yourself in half and one of those halves, takes a step back to look at itself. 

It's also a bit Like a body moving without its head. It makes her feel sick.

He keeps escaping, that's because he does't want us to see what's underneath when we slice him open. We'll spill his guts if he doesn't do it first... 

The voice pauses, and Julia waits for it as if her own mind was disobeying her.

They might just look a bit like ours. I can finally see us, I can see Julia. What you can't admit you were missing.

Quiet. Quiet please. Julia begs. Nausea surges in her stomach. Everything happening outside her head is quickly being forgotten.

Don't fight it. You want what I want. She can hear herself think without her permission.

He can't flee when he's captivated. One way or another, he will be ours.

Julia can feel herself waking up, feel her consciousness dredging itself out from the swamp of toxins, desperately clawing its way out from the dark.

And just then it speaks one last time. I'll be back. I promise that to us. I'll make you right. I'll make everything right.

Get away. Julia wishes she could scream. She's almost awake...come on. Come on. Please.

 

Then a sudden movement jolts her awake. with it there's a sudden mechanical screech and she realises they've stopped moving. 

There's a click, then shuffling of seats. Then the sound of footsteps on grass. 

Julia starts to feel her fingers again and starts moving them around. She realises her arms are free and she starts feeling around the vehicle.

She tries to take the thing off her face that's stopping her from seeing, but before she can she's interrupted.

"Get out." Boris says. Wait... Boris! She remembers now. Then the scene of a black taxi rolling up to her replays in her head. Oh no. She  definetely remembers now. This is bad. Very bad.

"Please, Come out. We have buisiness." The small guy says. That's a relief. Kidnappers don't usually chat with people who are about to become corpses.

Julia tries to get out of the car too fast and hits her head on the roof.

A third voice speaks "Vlad, Boris. Aren't ya going to help the lady?"

Julia freezes. Neal.

Boris and Vlad both stay silent.

"...."

"Well, alright then." He finally finishes the conversation. "But this might be a bit slow if ya don't. I'll be out in a jiff.
 WOoop-" 

Julia can't hear him open the door. He didn't slide out the window, did he? It's concerning what that man can fit through.

Julia steps out and the wind hits her. Julia shivers. There's a salty smell and the sound of Seagulls screeching.

A man grabs her by the arm.

"Feeling better?" Vlad asks her. Julia thinks. Define better. Do you mean an incomprehensible nightmare to waking up in a kidnapping situation? Hmmm.

Julia looks at the little scab where she was pricked by that poison. She decided that's what Vlad was really asking about. "It's wearing off." 

"Good. We mostly prefer you are able to think when you must talk." 

Chapter 4: "Limited time offer"

Summary:

When one has limited options It's time to start considering some ideas. Even ones you may not like, from people you may not like. Because the V.I.L.E faculty isn't patient.

Chapter Text


A simple layout becomes a labyrnth in the orientation of a blind woman. They've taken Julia and presumably Neal inside. 

Could Julia fight free? She has bones as hollow as little wren. A guard could crunch her like a dry leaf under their boot. No.

They said she had to talk...did they mean talk as in a start to a negotiation. Does she realistically have any leverage?

Her mind is still grasping at the straws for a plan. But what she really wanted to know is how Neal got them into this, or rather, she's trying to avoid coming to the obvious conclusion. 

Then she hears a large door groan open. 

"You, Neal. You are asking us to grant you a miracle. And this genie isn't very patient so you better start explaining." A man says.

She can hear he's speaking from above her, towering over. A pressure comes in flooding the room. It's choking. 

Julia coughs.

"So this is her?" a lady with a hard British accent says.

Julia bristles, she can feel the hawk-like glare in her voice. 

"Bobs your uncle!" Neal says.

There's an audible groan from one of the audience.

"Neal, how do you suggest we extract the information we need? Or will I be using my equipment to drain your information instead, Neal?" A woman with an indian accent asks.

Julia stands motionless. Neal just put her life on auction. Person with the brightest idea being the highest bidder.

How did she even get here? Why did she listen to the part of herself that couldn't let go of being heard by people who never even wanted her to be there? She got into ACME only because knew too much. If she hadn't walked in on Devinaux being recruited by chief, she wouldn't be here. 

A woman grunts deeply from above her. She sounds solid as stone. 
"Shouldn' be a problem Dr.Bellum. Little birdie here doesn't look like much." She says as if Julia is a bug she'll enjoy picking the legs off of.

Julia shivers. but something overtakes her.

We got ourselves here, now let them hear us. It says. 

"I'd rather die." Julia hisses with a vipers toungue, dripping in venom. 

"I'd rather die..."  she spits blood. It smears over her teeth as she digs into her bottom lip some more. 

There's a scandalized gasp from one of the audience. The criminal. That makes Julia shudder.  

Julia quickly wipes her mouth, as if she can just erase what happened, but the metallic taste keeps washing over her toungue. The shy petite scholar must look psychotic now. Julia needs to fix this, but there's this aweful feeling that she just. Can't. Stop. Now. Because she doesn't want to.

...

"Don't worry my dear, we can still have it your way! Picture this: Neal and Julia Argent, a young couple travelling the world, tragically found washed up on the beach of Belhaven bay. It would fit right on the front cover of the papers. Resist, and you'll be crossing the bridge to nowhere. Permanantly." 

....

Julia understands everything he's saying but can't think of a way out. That train left. It's gone. Gone. She's dead isn't she? 

Let's Finish this.

"Belhaven...the bridge to nowhere. I've heard of that place. Why, I believe that's in Scotland." Julia chuckles.

"I know sensitive information about your location. You haven't even tried to hide it. You were never planning on letting me leave, were you?"

"I won't talk. I'm taking your plan down to the grave with me."

"And Neal can't help you. God, your first opportunity to get a real insider from ACME and it just had to be Neal on the case."

"I know how that feels." Julia shines a blood tinted smile at Neal. The flag of a malicious defeat made for two. She doesn't have to see to feel Neal radiate of helpless fury. 

Learnt it from you. She wanted to lean in close and whisper the words in his ear, words intimate and acidic. 

He offended her most. More than Devinaux and Chief ever could. 

"Get them out of my sight." Mealstrom snarles.

Just then Julia feels the cloth that's been preventing her from seeing gets ripped off in an instant, it yanks her hair painfully.

She's then taken by both arms by two men. she doesn't fight. She watches Neal staying there as she gets closer to the door.


Before the door opens she gives a glance to the four-no five people sitting at the elavated table.

"I never seen Julia be such a hard case, ay. What did you inject her with Dokuso?!" Neal yells rather frantically.

Dokuso?  



The electricity sizzling on the strange devices were the only lighting in the damp dungeon room. 
It doesn't look like technology she's seen anywhere before.

She sits alone in here with it.

"Fix this or I'll erase both of your memories." The familiar voice of Dr bellums echoes from far down the corridor.

"Erased." The words replay in her mind. She strains and struggles against the chair's metal grip until her wrists burn. "Erased" there's no way out. It makes her feel dizzy. 

Dr Bellum promised to tend to her for what felt like ages ago.

She's been sitting here for the longest... 15 or something minutes of her life. She's never begged for something to happen already while actively fighting to escape it. 

She's not really thinking, just anticipting.

She wanted to forget ever getting into this when she was leaving for England. God. What would devinaux think? There's a person person who would kill to be here. Who she would kill for to be here right now. And that's saying a lot. 

Then she hears foot steps come down the corridor. 

She tenses and watches the doorway.

Then he steps into the room. Neal. 

He closes the door.

"I can't believe you sold me out."

"Why? Why can't you believe it?"

Good point. 

Is it too late to admit I we were hoping it wasn't true? 
"I don't know." Julia answers.

"Don't tell them I said this Julia--"

"--But If I didn't convince them you were valuable they would have made sure your plane never landed. They changed the plans in an instant. Because they couldn't resist.

"The memory wiping is a bluff. They can't risk wiping your memories. Imagine if Chief checked on you, ay?" Neal continues.

"Why have this conversation with me? Some of them seemed eager to test my pain tolerance."

"What would Chief think if she found you all messed up or fallen off a cliff?." Neal responds

Julia doesn't answer that.

"Exactly." Neal finishes the thought.

"ACME is an intelligence agency. The most secretive in the world. You're smart Julia, really smart, think. What do you have to offer them? Do they want that or a tricky person to dispose of?."

Did Neal just...compliment her?
"But how could they possibly trust me after what I said? I wish I knew why I said any of it." Julia hangs her head.

Neal doesn't look surprised, but he seems at a loss for words for a few moments. He looks down. 
"I'm sorry you had to experience that." He says with guilt

"What do you mean?" 

Julia wonders why he said it as if it wasn't her fault. As if the words didn't come out of her mouth.

"I can't tell you what happened but I have been watching. People have acted out in similar ways under similar circumstances..." 

"Is this something to do with Dokuso?" 

"Don't say that name" Neal whispers harshly.

Neal glances quickly through the peephole like he's making sure no-ones eeves dropping.

"We don't have much time--Listen we have a partner based in London. He's planning a caper and he would kill to have an ACME rat who doubles as a historian. 

"Co-operate and many opportunities will come to you. You might even have to deal with Carmen Sandiego."

Wait-Julia understands there's a clear implication there. It's a huge rusk, but  maybe she can help Carmen from behind enemy lines. But would he--

"--Why would you suggest that?" Julia demands.

Neal doesn't answer that. 

"It's a limited time offer. I'll need your answer soon." He winks and a familiar smile shows itself again. It's not what she needs.

Julia stops to think.

"Deal. I have a plan. But you might not like it." Julia says and extends her hand to him.

Neal takes it and they shake on it.

"It'd better not kill me doc."