Chapter Text
C00lkidd had been abnormally quiet today, and Slasher wanted to know what was up, as usually this meant that something or someone would soon be on fire. However, when Slasher entered C00lkidd’s room, he simply found the other killer sitting on his bed, eating a chocolate bar. Slasher breathed a sigh of relief, before realizing that there was no conceivable way for him to have gotten his hands on a chocolate bar.
(Uh, hey, where’d you get that?)
C00lkidd, still focused on fitting as much chocolate as possible into his mouth, gave a slightly concerning answer.
“The man in the woods gave it to me!”
(What- What man?!)
“The man in the fancy suit!”
A chill ran through Slasher’s body. He only knew of one possible suit-wearing man in the woods that likes to interact with children.
(Can you- describe him to me?)
“Sure! He’s a little taller than you, he wears a suit and a cape, and he’s got glowing red eyes! He kinda looks like a bat!”
This wasn’t the one Slasher was thinking of, but the question still stood in his mind:
Who the hell is this guy?!
Outside, Azure was tending to his garden. It was comforting for him, with nothing but the sound of leaves rustling, the wind blowing through the trees, and someone quickly approaching him from behind.
Wait. What was that last one?
“Noli? Is that you?”
No answer came, and the mysterious footsteps stopped.
“No, you’re too quiet.”
Azure turned around, expecting to see one of the other killers.
“Wait who the hell are you?!”
He did not see one of the other killers.
The spooky figure began to introduce himself:
“My name is Nosferatu. Are you one of the “killers” Specty- I mean- The Spectre- told me about?”
A million ideas of what he should do next rushed through Azure’s mind, most of which involved violence. There was no way in hell this guy was trustworthy.
Azure decided to trust him anyway.
“Yeah. I’m Azure. Do you wanna come with me to see the others?”
When they got up to the cabin door, Azure had to bang on it for a good 10 seconds before anyone answered, as usual.
Out of all the killers that could’ve opened the door, probably the worst possible one for this situation found themselves face to face with Azure and Nosferatu.
1x wasn’t thrilled, to say the least.
“Oh, you’re back. Wait, who’s TRAVEL SIZED MOTHMAN OVER HERE?!”
They pointed straight at Nosferatu, who just sighed, and corrected them:
“My name is NOSFERATU, not Mothman.”
Suddenly, Nosferatu spawns a bucket of candy out of nowhere, and pulls a Snickers bar out of it, offering it to 1x.
“What’s that for?!”
“You seem like you need it.”
“Fuck you.”
1x slaps the candy out of his hands, sending it off the steps and into the bushes, and then they turn around, walking back inside.
Once they were out of earshot, Azure turned to Nosferatu, saying:
“They’re always like that, the Snickers wouldn't've had any effect.”
“It was worth a try.”
Somehow, nobody really cared all that much that there was a new killer. Aside from John Doe practically interrogating him about his moveset, and C00lkidd asking him every 5 minutes if he had any more candy, Nosferatu spent the rest of the day relatively peacefully.
Guest 666, however, was slightly concerned by the fact that they’d literally just let a VAMPIRE into the house, and didn’t hesitate to speak (or growl) their mind at dinner:
“Rmmhhh?” (So, uh, dude, do you- drink blood?)
All eyes were now on Nosferatu.
“I’ve been trying to quit for some time now. Nowadays I mainly get by on candy.”
Everyone seemed to accept this answer, but 666 was still nervous.
Mainly? That’s not very reassuring…
While they were glancing around the room, trying to spot a suitable wooden object that could be used to kill the person sitting right in front of them in case shit got bad, Slasher asked Nosferatu another question:
(Hey, are you ok with sleeping on the couch down here tonigh-)
“On the COUCH?! HAVE YOU NO HOSPITALITY?!”
(Fine, fine, I’ll sleep on the couch. You can have my room.)
“Thank you. I’m only staying for tonight and tomorrow, so I hope it’s not too much of an inconvenience.”
1x and Guest 666 were relieved to hear this, but C00lkidd was disappointed, as this meant the free candy would soon come to an end.
Speaking of free candy, the killers quickly set out to work sorting, eating, and trading the supply their guest had given them.
1x, who currently had a monopoly on all of the sour gummies, noticed something about the baskets the candy was kept in:
“Hey, did you model this after the decapitated head of the pumpkin guy? ‘Cause mine looks weird.”
Nosferatu shrugged, saying:
“I didn’t make them. The pumpkin mage was quite confused about it too.”
Then, 1x turned to John Doe, looking as if they just discovered the deepest secrets of the universe:
“If I ever get to go trick-or-treating, I’m gonna hollow out Shedletsky’s skull and use it as a basket.”
“That’s disgusting.”
“Says the guy who likes Swedish Fish.”
“Are you kidding me?! They’re DELICIOUS. You’re the one with bad taste. No excuses for liking Sour Patch kids, only 2 of the flavors are actually worth eating.”
“Fuck you.”
Meanwhile, Azure and Noli were sitting on the couch, sorting through a few buckets. When Noli found something neither of them liked, he threw it to C00lkidd, but didn’t notice that the child had passed out from a sugar crash about 15 minutes ago, and was now laying unconscious in a pile of candy.
“Alright, let’s see here, we have a tootsie roll pop…”
“Ch-chuck 1t.”
Azure threw the lollipop behind him, it doinked off of C00lkidd’s head, and landed on the ground.
“Fun Dip?”
“I$n’t th-h@t a Val3ntines’ da￥ th1n-ing?”
“I think so, do you want it?”
“1s-s th1$ y0ur w@y-y of a$king m3 t0 be-e your val3nt-entine?”
“Yeah, babygirl~”
Before either of them could laugh, Slasher had already taken out his machete and began running towards them.
“WAITWAITWAIT NO IT WAS A JOKE-”
“ST-T0P PL3A-ASE N0-”
Slasher didn’t listen to their plea, and proceeded to whack Azure over their head with the blunt end of his machete.
(I’VE FUCKING HAD IT WITH YOUR GUYS’ BROMANCE! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU-)
“Ghhhr.” (Stop it with the queerbaiting, just get together already.)
(EXACTL- wha- …666 shut the fuck up.)
The rest of the night was pretty much the same, but eventually the all-you-can-eat candy buffet had to stop when Noli vomited all over the carpet, and Slasher decided they’d all had enough. (Mainly because he didn’t want to clean the floor anymore.)
Everyone retreated to their rooms for the night, and Slasher decided to show Nosferatu to his room.
While they were walking up the stairs, Slasher recounted what had happened with C00lkidd earlier that day:
(So, I was freaking out, because I thought the “Suit wearing man in the woods” was my old pal Slenderman-)
“Oh, I used to know them.”
(Wait really?)
“Yeah, but that was decades ago. We had a book club.”
(Slenderman never struck me as. the kind of guy to do that.)
“Me neither, but it’s really hard to pass up an invitation to the malevolent entities book club.”
(Who else was there?)
“It was me, Slenderman, The Spectre, and פרחים. We got together every Saturday for about 20 years, but then we all split up to do our own thing.”
(Who’s פרחים?)
“Good question.”
This conversation went on for a while, but eventually, Slasher went back downstairs to get some rest. He had a round early in the morning tomorrow.
Nosferatu couldn’t sleep. Was it all the sugar? Or is it because he's a vampire, and it’s nighttime? But it’s always nighttime here. Wait, then how the hell had he been able to sleep this whole time up to now?!
No, it wasn’t that.
It was the fact that there was a blood-soaked chainsaw hung up on the wall, and it looked tasty as hell.
I really shouldn’t.
…
Fuck it. It’s been a long day anyways.
Guest 666 couldn’t sleep either, but as far as they knew, they weren’t a vampire.
They were more scared of the literal blood-drinking monster that everyone had just let into the house without questioning anything.
Seriously, isn’t that the 3rd rule of vampires? That you don’t have to let them in?
The minutes turned into hours.
666 was about to drift off at around 5am, but they heard someone walking past their room.
That was almost never a good sign, vampire in the house or not.
They got up, left their room, and walked to the kitchen.
There, they found Nosferatu digging through the fridge.
“Mhhhr?” (You- need something?)
Nosferatu turned around, revealing bloodstains on the front of his suit.
That was the last thing Guest 666 remembered before everything went dark.
The lights flickered on.
Slasher sat up, ready to stab whoever the hell had just woken him up an hour early, but before he was able to do that, he heard a yawn coming from a pile of candy behind the couch.
“Guys…? Where did everyone go?”
(C00LKIDD?! HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE?!)
“Uhhh, like, since after dinner?”
(WHAT?!)
“Grghhhh.” (Hey, sorry for waking you up, but-)
Guest 666 was standing in front of the TV, with a hand clutching their neck.
“Mraahh…” (I think we have a situation on our hands…)
They took their hand away.
It was covered in blood.