Chapter Text
CHRISTMAS EVE 2026
"You've done what?!" Lisa stared at her wife in horror. "You are joking, right?"
Surely she had to be joking. Carla looked sheepish. She wasn't joking.
"I'm sorry! I felt bad!"
"Carla!!"
"I'm SORRY! I can't help being a charitable sort of person."
Lisa snorted.
"Excuse me!" Carla stood with one hand on her hip and one eyebrow raised. "I'll have you know I'm very charitable!"
Lisa's face softened. "I know you are, love. I remember that day we escaped to the Bistro when Paul's memorial was on in the Rovers. You'd left your credit card behind the bar."
"Oh yes! 'Hunker in our bunker' day." Carla laughed. "Back when we were trying to pretend we didn't fancy each other."
"I don't think we were kidding anyone, were we."
"Er...no. I can confirm you definitely weren't." Ryan piped up from where he was leaning against the kitchen island.
"So see! I am very charitable."
"Ok fine, yes you are. But, bloody hell, Carla. There's charitable and there's being a massive mug."
"Oh charming!"
"Seriously, though. Tim and flippin' Sally. Really?"
"Their electrics have gone! They've got no lights, no heating, no way of cooking." Carla smiled, a look on her face that made Lisa realise she wasn't going to win this battle. "Come on. Be charitable. It's Christmas!"
"Exactly." Lisa pouted. "It's Christmas Eve. I wanted to spend the evening with you, Betsy and Ryan and then wake up in the morning and have croissants and Bucks Fizz and..."
"And you don't want to have to see Tim swanning round in his jammies in the morning?"
"Or his pants" Ryan grinned.
Carla and Ryan laughed at the disgusted look that came over Lisa's face.
"Where are they even gonna sleep? It's a three bedroomed house!"
"Ryan's already agreed to sleep on the sofa."
"Always happy to help, me!" Ryan shrugged.
"Give me strength. I can't believe I'm spending Christmas with Sally and Tim." Lisa shook her head. "I need a drink."
As if he'd read her thoughts, Ryan produced a mug of warmed mulled wine. "For m'lady."
Lisa more or less downed the warm drink in one. Carla put her arm around her shoulders, pulling her close and kissing the side of her head.
"It'll be fine. It's just Sally and Tim. It's not like they've still got the Michaelis kids living with them."
"Thank god for that! I wouldn't want another three kids to add to the mix. Ryan and Betsy are bad enough."
"Oh ha ha!" Ryan smiled and rolled his eyes at her.
Lisa poured another drink and climbed up onto one of the kitchen stools. Why were they so damn high? It was a daily struggle to get onto them. She'd fallen off one of them the other day, trying to get down. Much to Carla's delight. Her wife had laughed for ages, as she'd mopped up the coffee Lisa had spilled all over the floor.
"What time are they coming round, then?"
"Imminently. They're just packing a bag."
Lisa sighed. She might as well resign herself to the situation. She was spending her Christmas with Sally and Tim and that was that.
"You've got such a lovely home." Sally simpered, mulled wine in hand. She had climbed up onto the kitchen stool with ease, annoying Lisa intensely. "Of course, you don't have a hot tub. It's something that really sets our houses apart."
Lisa downed the rest of her wine. It was her fifth mug. Carla raised her eyebrows at her.
"Shame your electrics are fucked, isn't it." Lisa smiled at Sally, a fake smile that did nothing to conceal her irritation. "That hot tub isn't much use this evening, is it."
"Well...no, obviously." Sally looked taken aback at Lisa's choice of language.
"Another mulled wine, Tim?" Carla shot Lisa a look.
She felt sheepish. She was behaving like a child, she knew that. It wasn't Sally's fault their house was uninhabitable. And Carla had invited them round. The last thing Lisa wanted to do was embarass her wife by making a show of herself.
Picking up the kettle, she went to fill it at the sink.
"Does anyone want a cuppa? I think I've drank enough wine!"
Carla smiled at her gratefully. Lisa felt even more guilty. Despite Lisa's earlier scoffing, Carla really was such a kind, charitable person.
"I'll have one, love." Tim put down his mug. "I'm not sure this mulled wine stuff is for me. It tastes a bit like that perfumey stuff you've always got in a bowl, Sal."
"What -"
"Pot pourri? Lisa interrupted Sally with a smirk. "Not sure you're meant to eat it, Tim."
Carla joined her at the kettle and helped her make everyone a brew. Wrapping an arm around Lisa's waist, she bent down to whisper in her ear.
"I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you later!"
Lisa rolled her eyes, lowering her own voice. "We can't. Not with those two across the hall."
"We'll see."
It was as Carla was distributing the cups of tea that the front door banged and Betsy wandered in. She took in the sight in front of her, Sally and Tim socialising in her kitchen on Christmas Eve.
"Oh. I didn't realise you were having people round."
"Well..." Lisa tried to break the news gently. "Sally and Tim are actually gonna be staying tonight and spending tomorrow with us."
"What?!" Betsy's disdain was disguised even less effectively than her mother's.
"Their electrics have gone, Bets." Lisa stared at her daughter, willing her to behave herself.
"Riiiiiiight." Betsy paused and Lisa prayed she wasn't going to make a scene. "Well, you boomers enjoy yourselves."
With that, Betsy sauntered up the stairs. Ordinarily, Lisa would have preferred to spend the evening of Christmas Eve all together as a family, but she could hardly blame her daughter for not wanting to socialise with Sally and Tim. Ryan had managed to escape to his shift at the Rovers. Lisa had contemplated seeing if they needed a hand. She'd have worked for free. The fact she'd never pulled a pint in her life was neither here nor there.
"Thank you for all the food you've brought round." Carla turned her attentions back to Sally. "We actually weren't planning on cooking. We were gonna get a takeaway. It's become a bit of a tradition."
"Oh...well, it does seem like a shame for the turkey to go to waste. There's plenty to go around." Sally looked back at Carla and Lisa could tell they were both wondering how to navigate this situation. There was no way Carla would be wanting to cook a turkey, but Lisa also knew she was a bit of a control freak at times. The idea of Sally making Christmas dinner in her kitchen probably filled her with dread.
"Maybe we could just see how we feel in the morning." Lisa said to no one in particular. "Should we go and sit down?"
She herded them through to sit in the living room. Not being a fan of people being in her personal space, Lisa sat cross legged on the floor. Sally made herself at home on the sofa.
"So tell me, you two...I've always wanted to know..."
Lisa braced herself for the end of Sally's sentence. She could see Carla looking equally poised.
"How did you come to be together?"
Carla shrugged, looking at Lisa with a smile. "Betsy started doing work experience at the factory and so Lisa was around a bit more. We became friends."
"You and I are friends, Carla." Sally looked at Carla pointedly. "But we've never..."
"No we haven't, Sal! Small mercies, eh!" Carla laughed.
Sally frowned at her response. Lisa tried to swallow her smirk, as she took a sip of tea.
"But, what I mean is, how did you go from being friends to...well, to being together. Intimately." Sally clarified, as if they weren't sure what she meant.
"She propositioned me." Lisa said nonchalantly.
"She..." Sally looked between them. "Aren't you supposed to be the lesbian?"
"I still was, last time I checked."
"Well then, why was it her propositioning you?"
"Coz I fancied her." Carla grinned at Lisa. "I'd fancied her for flippin' ages."
"But...but..."
"Sally, you're overthinking this. I fancied her. I was nervous as hell but Ryan egged me on and I just pounced on her."
That was one way to put it. Even two years down the line, Lisa couldn't believe that Carla had just sauntered in and told her not to bother getting dressed.
"Pounced on her..."
"Yep." Lisa winked at Carla, something that didn't go unnoticed by Sally.
"I have to say, it's very refreshing to see another couple our age still so...virile."
"Virile?!" Lisa looked at Sally, her eyes agog at her choice of word. "And we're not exactly the same age, Sally."
"Well...no, but you get my point. People seem to think that sex has to stop after the menopause, but -"
"I'm not post-menopausal yet -"
"Peri-menopausal, then! Honestly, Lisa. It's semantics."
Carla was laughing silently into her cup of tea, doing absolutely nothing to rescue her wife. Tim, meanwhile, looked like he'd like to be anywhere other than here.
"What I'm saying is..." Sally drew herself up, puffing her chest out like a proud peacock. "Sex after 50 -"
"I'm not -"
"Can be fantastic, as long as you get yourself some decent lubricant."
Carla's laugh started to overwhelm her. Her shoulders were shaking, threatening to spill her tea.
Lisa was absolutely gobsmacked. It was Christmas Eve and she'd just listened to Sally Metcalfe say the word "lubricant" in her living room. Of all the things she thought might have happened today, it wasn't that.
"Erm..."
"There's no need to be embarrassed, Lisa. It's a very important part of our sex life. You can get lots of different flavours!"
"Oh, we know!" Carla grinned, having recovered herself.
"Carla!" Lisa shot her a look. Her face was burning. She definitely did NOT want to talk to Sally about flavours of lubricant. This was unbearably hideous.
"Oh!" Sally looked pleased, turning to Carla with interest. "Maybe we could -"
"Maybe we could nothing!" Lisa needed to shut this conversation down before it got any more out of hand.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's very healthy for a relationship to still be intimate as you get older."
"That's as maybe, but I'm not sure how healthy it is to be discussing flavours of lubricant with the neighbours!"
The look of disgust on Lisa's face set Carla off laughing again. Sally was on a roll.
"Well, you know -"
"Oh here we go!" Lisa muttered.
"I'm quite curious, so if ever you wanted to..."
There was a pause, while Lisa and Carla tried to work out what Sally was trying to say. Tim seemed to have completely checked out of the conversation and had found solace in his phone. Sally looked at Lisa suggestively.
"Sorry...are you propositioning me?"
"I thought maybe...I know you're not interested in men, so you probably wouldn't want to sleep with Tim."
Hearing his name, Tim's head shot up. "What?"
"I'm just saying..." Sally ploughed on, as three pairs of eyes stared at her in dismay. "Lisa isn't interested in having sex with men, so maybe you could pair up with Carla and me and Lisa -"
"No, I'm sorry, I'm gonna stop you there..." Carla was biting her lip, trying not to dissolve into another fit of giggles.
Lisa meanwhile, could not have looked more horrified. Sex with Sally...this was going to haunt her nightmares.
"No offence Tim, but I'm a one woman woman these days."
"Er...none taken." Tim was looking terrified, like Carla might be about to march him up the stairs.
What the fresh hell was happening? Lisa had stumbled headlong into her worst nightmare. The only thing that could make this worse would be if Betsy had been here to overhear it all. She'd heard all sorts of rumours before about Tim and Sally's sex lives. Lisa herself had even joked with Carla and Ryan about them being swingers. But never in her wildest - and worst - dreams would she have anticipated being propositioned. She wished she hadn't switched to tea. The mulled wine might have made this all a bit more bearable.
"Right well..." For once, Carla actually seemed a bit lost for words. "Does anyone fancy some nibbles?"
What a choice of words! Lisa almost laughed at Carla, as the brunette realised how her words had sounded.
"I mean...olives and crisps and things. There might be some mince pies." Carla stood up, her voice flustered as she made her way into the kitchen. "Let me have just have a look in the cupboard."
"So what are your three girls up to, this Christmas?" Lisa tried desperately to change the subject. There'd been quite enough sex chat for one night.
"Faye's spending it with Anna in Newcastle. That's her adoptive mum." Tim clarified.
"Adoptive mum?" Lisa tried to untangle that statement. Was Tim her adoptive dad?
"Yeah, it's a bit of a complicated story. She was adopted, but I'm her biological dad."
"Oh right, I see." She didn't see. Not really. But she didn't want to ask lots of questions. Families came in all sorts of shapes and sizes.
Carla returned, laden with food on a tray. Overhearing the end of the conversation, she looked at Lisa. "Faye used to be with Craig. I don't know if you remember."
"Oh yeah. I think so. I didn’t know Craig very well, then." Lisa looked wistful. "I can't believe he's gone."
They all paused, reflecting on the enormous loss they'd suffered. Craig had been like family to Tim and Sally, and Carla had watched him grow up. The day he'd died, Lisa had felt like she'd lost Becky all over again. The loss had been painful. It had made her suddenly appreciate what she had. What she needed to hang on to. She'd proposed to Carla that night, a raw desperate need to cement their relationship. To solidify it against any storms that might come their way. Carla turning her down had hurt her viscerally, but she'd been right to do so. It hadn't been the right time. A few more aborted proposals later, they'd finally got engaged and they hadn't looked back. Their wedding in the summer had been beautiful. It was the happiest day of Lisa's life.
"What about your girls, Sal? What are they up to?" Lisa said, softly. Everyone still looked so reflective.
"Rosie's spending the day with friends. Sophie's with her girlfriend."
"I didn't know Sophie had a girlfriend." Carla smiled.
"They've been together for about a year. Rachel. She's a nice girl."
"I still feel bad about Maddie."
"Who's Maddie?" Lisa frowned, looking at Carla.
"She was Sophie's girlfriend, a number of years back. She was killed. Tracy tried to kill me. Maddie got caught in the crossfire."
"Oh my god!" Lisa looked horrified. "Why on earth have you never told me about that?"
"I didn't mean to keep it from you. But there's so many things have happened to me, Lis. Sometimes I forget what you know and don't know."
"This street...sometimes I think it's cursed." Sally smiled wryly. "All the things that have gone on. The things people have suffered."
Lisa watched Carla nodding. She knew that Carla had experienced a number of traumas and, whilst she didn't know Sally's entire backstory, she didn't doubt she'd been through a lot too. This street seemed to be like that.
The four of them were lost in thought as they made a start on the nibbles that Carla had assembled. Conversation became lighter and eventually it approached 10pm and Lisa couldn't contain her yawns any longer.
"Does anyone mind if I turn in? I'm shattered." She looked around the group. "I can show you your room, if you like."
They all tidied up and headed up the stairs. Settling the Metcalfes into Ryan's room, Lisa and Carla retired to their own room.
Lisa sat heavily on the bed. "Bloody hell. They're a right pair, aren't they."
Carla laughed as she peeled her clothes off. "Don't fancy a shag with Sally, then?"
"Oh don't!"
Lisa was distracted from the horrors of sex with Sally by the sight of her wife in her underwear. Despite how the evening had gone, Lisa couldn't help but be enticed by the idea of seeing in Christmas Day by having sex. With her wife. Not Sally.
"Go on, then." Carla nodded at Lisa, who was still fully dressed in her jeans and jumper. "Get your kit off!"
Peeling her jumper and vest off, Lisa smirked at the way Carla's jaw almost hit the floor. Carla loved to see Lisa with her jeans on and topless from the waist up. It never failed to start a fire within her. Reaching behind her back, Lisa undid the clasp on her bra.
"Get over here, right now." Carla grabbed Lisa's belt loops and pulled her close. Crashing their lips together, Carla devoured her, their bodies pressed impossibly close together.
Lisa pulled back and, standing a couple of feet away from Carla, she started to undo the button and zip on her jeans. She felt keyed up and she knew her nipples were puckered and erect. She was more than ready for what lay ahead.
Carla licked her lips. "You are so fucking sexy."
Relieving herself of her jeans, Lisa stood before Carla in just her knickers. She was always self-conscious about this part, even though Carla had never passed judgement on her plain, boring knickers or boxers. She had occasionally donned a fancy set for a birthday or anniversary but, tonight, she had plain black knickers on. Nothing embarrassing, but certainly not exciting.
"Where do you want me?"
"Lying on the bed, begging for mercy?" Carla grinned.
Who was Lisa to refuse? Climbing onto the bed, she lay down and waited for Carla to make her move.
"Fucking hell!" Lisa panted, barely able to get her words out.
"Merry Christmas, Lisa." Carla said with a smirk, kissing her way back up Lisa's stomach. "I told you I'd make it up to you for letting the Metcalfes stay."
"You have more than made it up to me." Lisa still struggled to catch her breath. She climbed off the bed. "I'm going to get some water."
Wrapping herself in her dressing gown, Lisa headed down the stairs and filled two glasses. They'd been having sex for the past two hours and, Lisa had to admit, she was running out of steam.
Climbing the stairs quietly, she got the fright of her life when she got to the top and saw someone stood in the shadows.
"Jesus, Sally, what are you doing?"
"I just got up to go to the toilet. I couldn't sleep. There was a lot of noise." She looked at Lisa pointedly.
"Sorry!" Lisa was mortified. They'd been trying to be quiet.
"It's ok." Sally's smile was more suggestive than Lisa might have liked.
Suddenly, something above Lisa's head caught Sally eye. With a naughty glint in her eye she leaned closer, just as Lisa realised she was standing under the mistletoe Ryan had stuck up. Unprepared for what was happening, Lisa didn't move quickly enough to prevent Sally gently pecking her lips.
With a smile and a shrug, Sally retreated back into Ryan's room, leaving Lisa completely stunned and wondering what on earth had happened.
How had her Christmas come to this?