Chapter Text
His body laid there in front of him. Skin stuck to the pavement like a decal. His bones twisted and turned. Blood pooled beneath, staining the ground infront of the apartment building. He felt off, sick even. Was this another hallucination? No. The voice is gone. The tumor. Is gone. This is real.
He's dead.
The world doesn't.. Feel real anymore to him. He can feel his own presence, but the world around him feels numb. As if he was watching in third person. What was his name?... Right. Ivan. His name is Ivan.
The world felt less fuzzy with that bit of confirmation. It was still fuzzy, but clearer. He could feel things he hadn't at first.
Wings. He had wings. They were soft with white feathers and a bit of black sprinkled throughout. Based on what he could see, they had a large wingspan. Other than that, not much changed. His clothing stayed. Even his visor.
Okay. He had a different appearance. He was ᴅᴇᴀᴅ.
What now? Where does he go? Does he have anywhere to go? He doesn't remember. The things he remembers are his apartment, his name, his mother, the moon before he took that step, the loneliness he felt throughout life, and... that charred body. Would anybody even help him? They can't.
Ｈｅ'ｓ ｄｅａｄ.
What was the point of taking that step? Everything is back to the way it was. He had no one to help him, nowhere to go. Maybe this is a hallucination. He needs to wake up. But how? So many question, yet there's no one to answer. His eyes started to tear up. He wanted to just go back to sleep and pretend this never happened.
Ｎｏ ｏｎｅ ｃａｎ ｈｅｌｐ ｈｉｍ.
He curled himself up into a ball next to the building. His vision was blurred as he continued to stare at the body in front of him. His body.
A car pulled into the parking lot. It was familiar. As if on cue, the driver stepped out. It was his mother. She was petrified. It had only been a few seconds and yet her face already started to soak with tears. She carefully walked up to the body and crouched down to confirm. This was her son. Her son was gone. Ｄｅａｄ. All she could do was sob into her hands and mourn. She had now lost her entire family. However, she needed to stay strong. She called the police.
Ivan, on the other hand, stood next to her.
"Mother? Hello? Can you hear me?"
No response, she continued to talk on the phone.
"Can you see me?"
Nothing.
"Can you feel me?" He said as he reached out to grab her hand. His hand phased through her.
Nothing.
He couldn't even comfort her anymore. He was nothing. Why did he take that step? Why? Why? Why? Why? He was now gone to those who loved him. He's 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚍.
He's dead
𝙃𝙚'𝙨 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒅.
𝙷𝚎'𝓼 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑑.
Ｈｅ'ｓ ∂єα∂.
𝓗𝓮'𝓼 𝑑𝑒𝚊𝚍.
H̷̯̪̰́̐͛̌̎́̈́̍̓̈̃̀́ę̶͔͚̱̋̅̽̂̿̈́̈́̕͠'̵̛̰̫̠͉̭͔̜̰̥͓̼͔̖́̀̌͂͗͑͆͑̚͠͝s̴̺̥̬̳̖̪͈̓̈́̈̎͑͗͗̕͘͝ ̵̛̯̺̪̩̖͕̙̯̘̞̜̾̌̂̏̋̈͐̅̆̈́̀͘ͅd̷̩̝̫̘̞̪̺̱̀́̓ȇ̶͖̻̳̘̝̻a̵̧͍̦̖̟̖̗̪̓d̴̡͓̰̫̳̠̖̙̜̻̮͉̀́̐̀͐.̸͔̰̝̬́̉͗̉̎͒̈́̍
…
Notes:
IVAN IS MY BABY. SURE HE'S MENTAL, BUT SO AM I SOOOOOOOOO... MY BABY
I love fonts.
Just a hunch but I think bros dead.
STAY STRONG IVANS MOM! YOU GOT THIS!!
Don't worry my loves! I haven't forgotten about my other fics AT ALL. just been obsessed with bad things. Incontinent Attachment will be posting a bit later than planned because lowk me and twin still figuring out story. I have the next chapter in the works but school also isn't helping. As for Worst Roommate Ever, figuring out how to do fluff for the life of me and how I want the next chapter to transition to chapter 10. HOWEVER, ALL MY FICS SHALL BE FINISHED ONE DAY NO MATTER THE COST!!! (praying I don't get the curse)
Chapter Text
She was forced back to the place she hoped to never see again. The place where she had to mourn her late husband, and now her son. How stupid could she be? Her son needed help and she did nothing. She's a terrible mother. Now is not the time though. She must prepare for the funeral. Mentally and physically.
She had called many people to invite. Mostly family members since they never branched out to others. The only person that wasn't family she called was Andrew, the only friend Ivan had made throughout his life. The only person she thought could keep Ivan alive.
*Bring bring... Bring bring... Bring bring...*
"The number you are trying to call is currently unav-"
*Bring bring... Bring bring... Bring bring...*
"The number-"
"Pick up.... Please."
*Bring bring... Bring bring... Bring bring...*
"The number you are trying to call is currently unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep."
*beep*
"Hello Andrew. This is Ivan's mother." Her voice cracked. "I'm calling to inform you of some unfortunate news. Ivan has passed away." At this point she was on the verge of tears again. "I'd appreciate it if you attended his funeral. You were his only friend. The only one he loved honestly... The address is -----. Goodbye." She hung up.
-
The day of the funeral arrived. Close family attended. Ivan also attended his own funeral. He realized his life must have been pathetic. No friends. Only family. About 5 people. 5 people? That's it? This is what he gets? After all he's been through? His father's funeral was the same. He helped everyone and yet they forgot about him. They didn't care. That's what he got for helping people. Did he help people throughout his life? Is that why no one cares?
"Where is Andrew?" He heard his mother whisper to herself.
Who's Andrew? Probably just another person who forgot him.
"Ma'am, it's time to start the service." The pastor told her.
She breathed in, "Okay. Yeah okay."
.
"We gather here today to mourn the loss of Ivan ---. An inspirational writer. A man who always helped others, just like his father." So Ivan was correct. "May his stories live on to the ones who held him dear. You may now line up to say your final words."
Ivan's mother stepped up first.
"I'm so sorry, baby. I wasn't there for you when you needed me most. I couldn't see you were hurt. I was a terrible mother. I turned down your dreams. I'm so so sorry Ivan. You're in a better place now. Please rest well" The tears she had held back after that day finally started to flow down. She sobbed once more.
The next few people went up as the time started to pass by. An hour went by when the doors had opened once again. Ivan watched the door open from the upper corner he had positioned himself in. Someone he didn't know entered. He had curly blonde hair and sharp eyes. He wore a hoodie that read "PWN" and green slacks. Not really something you wear to a funeral. Disrespectful actually. Ivan, however, felt something was off.
"Andrew, I'm glad you came." Ivan's mother said, ignoring his outfit choice. She was just glad he attended.
"You may say a few words before we wrap up." She finished.
Ivan followed Andrew as he walked up to the casket.
"You know, I expected a lot out of you but never this. You always said you wanted to make a name for yourself. I don't think this is what you meant....
.
I loved you.
.
You did this to yourself.
.
Why?" Tears stung his eyes.
"I'm still mad at you. Why didn't you talk to me about this? This is your fault." His breath quickened.
"No. What am I saying? This is my fault. I'm so sorry Ivan." He fell on the casket and started to hyperventilate.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'𝚖 ѕσ ՏOᖇᖇY."
"Andrew dear, are you okay?" Ivan's mother asked worryingly.
"Why did he have to leave me?" He mumbled as an answer, trying to catch his breath.
'Leave you? Who are you?' Ivan was left puzzled. He hadn't remembered this man when he died. Yet, he felt as if there was a knot tying them together. A connection that ran deeper than his mind could remember. He had to find out.
"Andrew, deep breaths. It's okay. I know it's a heavy toll. Please, calm down. Everything will be okay. He's happier now." Ivan's mother reassured. Though, internally she wanted to do the same thing Andrew was. Cry her eyes out and beg the gods to bring her son back.
"Why should have been me?"
"Don't say that Andrew! It shouldn't have been anyone. Life just takes a twist sometimes. We have to learn to live with the pain and not let it affect us. I know it will be difficult. We all will miss him. Now let's go dear, the service is closing." She grabbed Andrew's hand caringly and led him out the door.
"Okay." He was too dazed with everything that had already happened to process anything.
As much as Ivan didn't know who this person was, he wasn't about to let someone who cared about him die as well. He could tell just by Andrew's face that he already had the thought to do the same thing he did. To take that step. Maybe to live happily in the afterlife, or reunite with Ivan. He can't let that happen. He won't.
…
He's too precious.
Notes:
For those of you wondering, Ivan's mom doesn't know about the message Ivan sent out talking about Ivan's abuse cuz she ain't chronically online unlike SOME PEOPLE.... Aka me
Lowk getting burnt out in writing but I wanna continue write, if that makes sense-
Thought about Ivan'ing it like.... 3 times this past week BUT I'M GOOD CHAT!!! I SHALL FEED MY CHILDREN EVEN FROM THE GRAVE 🗣🗣🗣🗣