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Summary
Shane and Ilya grow up and grow older in hockey locker rooms, where communal showers and homophobia are simple facts of life. This is a love letter to the experience of closeted queer puberty, and to all the weird parts about growing up as an athlete.
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Bookmark Notes:
He knew how to conduct himself in a communal shower. You didn’t want to make direct eye contact unless you were talking to someone directly, but you also couldn’t spend the entire time looking at the floor, or you would accidentally run into someone. And if you ran into someone, while you were both naked, there was the danger of accidental dick-to-dick contact. So he usually ended up staring at people’s chests. At this rate he could probably identify all of his teammates by their pecs, which wasn’t as weird as it sounded.
Even though they all played the same sport, the bodies in the locker room varied a lot. Some of the men were broader and more muscular, some skinnier and lithe. Some had brown nipples, some pink. He was getting to know the Voyageurs at training camp, and it was still a little strange to be on a team with men who were so much older than he was. There were some very hairy Eastern Europeans and one Greek guy whose entire back was covered with thick, dark hair. Shane was naturally mostly hairless, which he preferred. Over the years, he had accidentally caught a glimpse of most of his teammates’ penises at some point, but even that wasn’t particularly interesting anymore. Everybody in the locker room had one.
The point was, Shane was a consummate professional on the ice and in the locker room, even at 19 years old. So he had absolutely no fucking idea why he was staring at Ilya fucking Rozanov in the shower after the CCM shoot.
He really needed to get it together. He didn’t want Rozanov to get the wrong idea. Except that Rozanov was looking at him with a cocky lift of his eyebrow, and Shane had absolutely no idea what he was going to do about the indisputable fact that he wanted him, and it seemed like Rozanov might want him right back.