Chapter 1: The Prompt
Notes:
Ezra and Anthony are two fanfiction writers who unknowingly bid on each other for Fandom Trumps Hate under two different user names. I'm including their names below for easier reference:
(Aziraphale) Ezra's handles:
LSpaceCurator: Discworld
TheWatsonDiaries: Sherlock(Crowley) Anthony's handles:
VaguelyScribblesDownward: Discworld
GoldenEyes221b: Sherlock
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Chapter One: The Prompt
~March 1st, 2025~
Ezra refreshed the page yet again. He tried not to, but was having too much fun watching the bidding for Fandom Trumps Hate. It was his third year participating, and this year he was excited to watch as two enthusiastic bidders kept trying to outbid each other for his offer of a Sherlock Holmes story. He was including art with it this year, which helped garner more enthusiasm. He'd always been into drawing, but only recently started applying it to the fandoms he was active in and was pleased by the response. But for now it looked like GoldenEyes221b was winning. He’d read a few of their stories before, and was excited to find out what kind of prompt they might offer.
He also checked up on his own bid. He had been a fan of the fanfic writer VaguelyScribblesDownward for some time and really was hoping to have the chance to give them a prompt for a new Discworld story, and even had an idea in mind. Ezra noticed he had just been outbid, so he added another £10 on to his donation offer and refreshed the page to make sure it went through.
It was a little confusing having two different pseudonyms for his fandoms, but Ezra preferred to keep them separated. He wrote under TheWatsonDiaries for all of his Sherlock stories on AO3, and then wrote under LSpaceCurator for his Discworld ones. He’d developed different fan circles for each, so to simplify things he kept the works of both separate. He even had unique Tumblr handles under his main account where he would post memes and art for each fandom. And for this event, he made sure to have two different emails to protect his anonymity and his different fandom identities.
Realistically, he knew he could write under one account and any readers he had would understand or subscribe based on their own preferences, but as a librarian himself, he preferred to keep things as neat and organized as possible.
He tried not to keep checking his phone while at work, but it was hard, especially with the deadline counting down to the end of the bidding.
When he did his next refresh, he exhaled a sigh of relief. He’d won the bidding for VaguelyScribblesDownward’s Discworld story. He excitedly confirmed his own donation, one that VaguelyScribblesDownward had suggested for Fight for the Future Education Fund, a nonprofit whose mission he also supported. He knew he had until the 12th to donate, but he was so excited to have the privilege that he immediately sent his proof of donation to confirm the bid.
He then checked the story he’d offered under his TheWatsonDiaries account, and it seemed that GoldenEyes221b had won the bid for his own Sherlockian one.
He anxiously awaited the email, and was excited to receive the next message from Fandom Trumps Hate:
To: TheWatsonDiaries
From: FandomTrumpsHate
Date: Sat, Mar 1, 2025 at 8:45 PM
Subject: FTH - here’s what happens next
Dear Fanwork Creators,
First of all, thank you so much for lending your time and talents to the FTH auction…
Ezra read through the rest of the email and the note to await further instructions before attempting to contact the highest bidder, and decided that even though he was excited, he could be patient.
That didn’t stop him from refreshing his email several more times, though, to see if the next email had come through yet…
~March 8, 2025~
A few days later, Ezra was excited to receive the next confirmation email with the contact information for VaguelyScribblesDownward encouraging them to connect by April 1st.
And he was mildly surprised to receive a matching email almost instantly afterward, matching him with GoldenEyes221b for his offered fanwork after confirming his donation to Sherlocks Homes for homeless LGBT youth.
He excitedly sat down to email each.
To: GoldenEyes221b
From: TheWatsonDiaries
Date: Sat, Mar 8, 2025 at 9:03 PM
Subject: Re: FTH - here’s what happens next
I’m excited to match with you for Fandom Trumps Hate! I’m happy to connect with you over email or on Discord, I’m very active with several Sherlockian Discords if you happen to have access to that. I also know you have some time before a prompt is due in June, but I’m excited to hear about it when you are ready to share. Please let me know if there is any questions I can answer for you before then.
Sincerely yours,
TheWatsonDiaries
And then he wrote:
To: VaguelyScribblesDownward
From: LSpaceCurator
Date: Sat, Mar 8, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Subject: Re: FTH - here’s what happens next
I hope I’m not too presumptuous in reaching out first, but wanted to let you know how excited I am that the bid was successful and that we were matched! Let me know if email is the best way to communicate or if you prefer another method; I’m also active on some Discworld Discords too. I’m not as active on Dreamwidth as a rule, though I used to use it years ago, so I’d prefer if we stuck to email if that’s the best option.
And I know I have until June to provide a prompt, but I have one ready if you’d like it sooner!
All my best from the World of the Disc,
L-Space Curator
Ezra was also surprised at how fast the email was in return for his Sherlock story:
To: TheWatsonDiaries
From: GoldenEyes221b
Date: Sat, Mar 8, 2025 at 9:14 PM
Subject: Re: Re: FTH - here’s what happens next
Yeah, didn’t do too well with the Sherlockian discords. Got booted off for asking too many questions. Kept riling up the mods. So guess it’s email for me.
I’ve got a prompt ready, if you’d like.
Have you seen that Tumblr post, the one about the Fairy and the Walrus? Here it is if you haven’t: https://www.tumblr.com/formlesschromatic/743233166248214528?source=share
Basically, it’s a joke, that asks the question:
It is the middle of a Sunday afternoon. You aren’t expecting visitors, deliveries or post. Unexpectedly, there is a knock at the door. Which of these would surprise you more to find on the doorstep?
🧚 Fairy
🦭 Walrus
So for the prompt, I’d just like to know Sherlock’s answer to that question. I feel like it could be very enlightening.
-GoldenEyes221b
Ezra sighed. He’d been hoping for something more substantial, especially for a Sherlock fic, and he always prided himself on his research for his fanfiction. This didn’t seem like it gave him much he could use. Was GoldenEyes221b asking for a crackfic? He didn’t usually write those, not well at any rate. His stories tended to be more serious, and he enjoyed trying to match Doyle’s original tone and intent. He also always tried to write stories that could be plausibly canon, and in their original era. He wasn’t sure at all how he could fit in a walrus or a fairy to that universe. If it was one of his Discworld stories, it would be no trouble at all, and if he dug far enough he was sure that Pratchett had probably written something similar about fairies or walruses he could use as a launching point. He’d have to think and do some research to come up with ways he could try to use it as a Holmes story.
He decided not to answer that email right away, and was thrilled to see a response already from VaguelyScribblesDownward that he could answer instead.
To: LSpaceCurator
From: VaguelyScribblesDownward
Date: Sat, Mar 8, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Subject: Re: FTH - here’s what happens next
Discord works for me - I’m still on a few of those boards. Not real active, more of a lurker since I had some bad experiences on other Discord servers. But my handle is the same if you want to find me there. Sometimes chats are easier than email. And yeah, would love to hear the prompt!
-VaguelyScribblesDownward
He lost no time in finding him on Discord and sending a friend request, complete with the weird little robot creature waving hello as an opener.
He was thrilled at how fast he got the little spinning puppy waving hello in response, with VaguelyScribblesDownward’s acceptance of his friend request.
He started typing:
#fandom-trumps-hate-chat fandom trumps hate chat 
LSpaceCurator
Hello VaguelyScribblesDownward! I’m glad Discord works for you.
Here’s my prompt: “The Off-Putting Library.” I work in a Library, you see, and think there’s a misconception that Librarians are experts in customer service, when often our interest is more in protecting the books.
I think it would be funny, and Discworld appropriate, to explore the idea that Librarians don’t always have to be nice and approachable. I find I often identify with the Librarian himself, which is why I chose this name as my handle, but honestly feel free to use any Discworld characters.
Let me know if that prompt works for you!
VaguelyScribblesDownward
I see where you’re getting at.
Sure, yeah, I can make that work.
Always a fan of the Librarian too, haven’t had a chance to write much for him.
Might try to do a backstory for him before he becomes the orangutan, so I don’t have to write “ook” over and over.
And probably will also throw in some Nac Mac Feegles. They’re always fun to write. And the ones I identify most with, myself. Feel like they could help the Librarian in making the Library “off-putting.”
LSpaceCurator
I also must say I’m a big fan of your stories and am so excited for this one.
I wanted to ask, what’s your favorite part of reading or writing Discworld? I notice so many of your stories are comedic but also have a serious streak.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Ooo. Great question.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
I do love Pratchett for that same reason, the way he ties comedy in with a serious plot. He really invented the “crackfic taken seriously” as a genre.
LSpaceCurator
So true! You could make the argument that Douglas Adams did, too, but Pratchett tends to go deeper than Adams with the plot and emotional journey of the characters, I quite agree. Though I am a huge fan of the Hitchhiker’s Guide series as well.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Same here. But what I really love MOST about Pratchett is his political satire. My favorite series in Discworld are the Moist Von Lipwig books. Love how he can dive deep into postage stamps or trains and make such a larger political statement about the way our world works while making you laugh all the way through it.
Also love a lot of the Guards series. My favorite Pratchett quote is from Men at Arms.
LSpaceCurator
Which quote?
VaguelyScribblesDownward
The Sam Vimes ‘Boots’ Theory of Socio-Economic Unfairness. Here, let me find it for you.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
“The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money. Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles. But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that’d still be keeping his feet dry in ten years’ time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.”
LSpaceCurator
Oh, yes. I absolutely see what you mean. And I can see how you carry that through in your writing.
I especially loved your Robin Hood Crossover fanfiction. I think you had the Nac Mac Feegles featured prominently in that one, as well!
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Oh, yeah! That quote was definitely the inspiration for that one. “Vimes and the Not-So-Merry Men.” That one was fun to write.
LSpaceCurator
I particularly enjoyed how you fit in Maurice and his Amazing Rodents into that one, too.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Oh I love those literate rats. Particularly enjoy that Dangerous Beans sage-like character. They crack me up. I fit them into every story I can. Like my own little rat army, that come in at the end of the story and save the day.
LSpaceCurator
Your own Deus ex Rat-ina, as it were?
1
LSpaceCurator
Apologies, my dear, what does that little emoji mean? It’s a little hard to see on my phone.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
It’s a rat giving a thumbs up. Yeah, it is small. Tried to pick a fun one - definitely cracking up at that.
LSpaceCurator
Oh, I see it now! Very amusing.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
So what’s your favorite aspect of Discworld?
LSpaceCurator
I absolutely love the literary references. My favorites are the witch series. I loved how Pratchett loosely followed the plot of Phantom of the Opera for “Maskerade” or Midsummer’s Night’s Dream in “Lords and Ladies,” or even the Cinderella story in “Witches Abroad.”
In a way, it was like Pratchett’s own fanfiction of the original work, when you consider it.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
So true! I haven’t read all of those yet. I’ll have to check that out. Do you like reading?
LSpaceCurator
Oh yes. It’s my favorite pastime. For work I sell second-hand books online from my flat, which for me is a bit dangerous since I’m often loathe to sell the books I collect and keep so many of them. But it’s enough to keep me busy and pay the bills. And for fun I volunteer as a librarian at the British Museum. I help them with sorting and organizing the books and making sure they are returned in good order.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
I can definitely see why you want a story about an off-putting library. Sounds fun. Not to intrude, but does that mean you are local (from London)?
LSpaceCurator
I am indeed! Are you also in London?
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Yeah. I run a fan-themed pop-up speakeasy pub in the back of a ramen restaurant.
No signage, minimal advertising. It’s all mostly word of mouth, and we change the themes to something fun and popular every few months. We’re only open a few days a week and you have to know the password to come in.
LSpaceCurator
Seems like you enjoy customers about the same amount that I do.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Ha! Yeah you could say that. Mostly just want the cool customers who really want to be there and respect the place. It’s been working well, and we stay just busy enough to keep it going. We even have regulars who jump in to help with the remodels when it’s a theme they’re passionate about who bring in homemade decorations and fanart. I sub-lease with the restaurant and it makes it more affordable that way.
LSpaceCurator
What kind of themes? I always thought it would be fun to throw a regency era ball, like a Jane Austen novel.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
We have something like that coming up, but for Bridgerton. We tend to do more TV shows and movies than books, brings in bigger crowds. Free shot if you dress up! Anything from Jane Austen would work.
Funny I just wrote a fan fiction where she was a spy in a James Bond crossover.
LSpaceCurator
Oh, I’ll definitely bookmark that one! Oddly enough a lot of what I usually wear would probably fit right in without needing a costume. I’m a longtime fan of waistcoats, pocket watches and bow-ties.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Ha! Haven’t even met you and can absolutely picture that about you. It’s the ramen place in Mayfair. If you go to our Instagram place you can get the password for the night. @HellfireSpeakeasyUK
LSpaceCurator
I’ll keep a look out, that does sound rather fun! Thank you for the information! I’m afraid I need to be off for now to get a few book orders shipped, but it’s been lovely chatting with you.
1
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Sure thing. Cheers
Message #fandom-trumps-hate-chat 
Ezra closed his laptop, flush with how excited he was at the communication with VaguelyScribblesDownward, and thrilled at the prospect of meeting a fellow fan in person. His first instinct had been to instantly go to the Hellfire Speakeasy page and go that evening, but he didn’t want to appear needy or like a stalking fan. Did it count as stalking if he was invited, he wondered? And was it really an invite, or was did he only share out of a polite obligation? He was so undecided that he opted to go for aloof and casually interested instead.
But then he started to worry that he came across too aloof and casually interested. What if he seemed rude? He opened the laptop again to try to give a better send off, but then noticed that VaguelyScribblesDownward gave another one of those small emojis in reaction to his message - it looked like a couple of small stars around the “it’s been lovely chatting with you” note. He took a breath and hoped that meant his message was well-received.
He took a long drink of his tea, and then thought about how he’d like to compose his message to GoldenEyes221b. He reread the part of the email where he said he’d been booted off the Holmes discords for asking too many questions. Ezra had to admit that didn’t give him a very good impression; usually the rules were quite clear on what was allowed and not allowed on any Discord server, and all the mods were volunteers helping to try to keep order amongst the many fan chat threads. He decided to try to keep his messages brief to try to avoid antagonizing the reader who had won his bid, and to do his best to understand the request in advance so there wouldn’t be any misunderstandings later.
To: GoldenEyes221b
From: TheWatsonDiaries
Date: Sat, Mar 8, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Subject: Re: Re: Re: FTH - here’s what happens next
I’m sorry to hear about your experience on Discord. Email will work perfectly well. Please note I do my best to be responsive, but please allow a few days time as I can get quite busy with my work and volunteer activities.
I am still giving some thought to your prompt. It seems like quite the challenge, since I intend to keep this story in their canon universe, and I’m not exactly sure where a walrus or a fairy would come into the picture. I need to ask, do you intend for this to be a crackfic of sorts? I don’t usually write those. I do want to make sure you are happy with your story and want to be clear on your expectations.
Also, do you have any no-gos, rating or OTP preferences that you would like me to be aware? I did set out in my bid my comfort level on what I’m prepared to write, but I would like to make sure I’m taking your preferences into account as well.
Sincerely yours,
TheWatsonDiaries
Almost immediately afterward, he saw another Discord message from VaguelyScribblesDownward:
#fandom-trumps-hate-chat fandom trumps hate chat
VaguelyScribblesDownward
I know you already signed off, feel free to answer at your convenience.
But forgot to ask, do you have any no-gos, ratings, or OTP preferences? Definitely want to give you a story that meets your expectations.
LSpaceCurator
Oh! I haven’t signed off quite yet. I prefer SFW ratings, particularly in Discworld. I think I’m open to pairings if it’s a good story that justifies the union. I prefer canon-plausible. And the usual Big 4 archive warnings are no-gos for me.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Easy enough, almost all my stories fall into that anyway. Thanks and have a good evening!
LSpaceCurator
You too, my good fellow.
1
Message #fandom-trumps-hate-chat
VaguelyScribblesDownward gave him a thumbs up this time, but before he had time to figure out a suitable response, another email came in from GoldenEyes221b:
To: TheWatsonDiaries
From: GoldenEyes221b
Date: Sat, Mar 8, 2025 at 11:24 PM
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: FTH - here’s what happens next
No OTP for me, I read pretty much all of it. Johnlock of course, but also like the Moriarty/Sherlock stories too. Really love a slow-burn enemies to lovers story. Ratings pretty open, can’t think of many no-gos. Canon universe is fine. If the prompt isn’t good enough I can figure out something else.
Cheers,
GoldenEyes221b
Ezra closed his laptop in a huff. Really, the nerve. Well, now he was committed to making the silly prompt work anyway, as a personal challenge since GoldenEyes seemed intent on provoking him.
He got to work researching, and found something interesting, in spite of his misgivings.
Well, well, well. He might just have fun with this prompt after all…
Notes:
I also tagged the 1992 GO movie concept since Ezra works at the British Museum and Crowley runs a pub called Hellfire, just like in the script.
And DT played Dangerous Beans in The Amazing Maurice, which is why Crowley is a fan :-)
And the name "VaguelyScribblesDownward" is an homage to my friends in the Scribbling Vaguely Downward group, thanks for being such a great sounding board for ideas and so encouraging!!
Chapter Text
Chapter Two: The Check-In
~June 15, 2025~
Ezra got his reminder for the check-in for the prompt from Fandom Trumps Hate, and decided to reach out to both GoldenEyes221b and VaguelyScribblesDownward at once to make sure everyone had what they needed.
To: GoldenEyes221b
From: TheWatsonDiaries
Date: Sun, Jun 15, 2025 at 8:45 AM
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: FTH - here’s what happens next
I accept your prompt and the challenge. As for the pairing, I’ll keep it Johnlock. I’ve never seen the appeal in trying to reconcile sworn enemies. And I’ve spent some time researching about fairies and Sherlock Holmes and found some interesting things that I think will work well. I’ve already started on the story, and I will keep you notified on my progress. I expect to finish ahead of the December deadline. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate on reaching out.
Most sincerely yours,
TheWatsonDiaries
Ezra took a breath. He hoped he was direct and aggressively polite enough to discourage further communication. He opened up Discord, excited to send another note to VaguelyScribblesDownward, who he much preferred messaging. They had maintained regular communication over the last few months, even though Ezra was still too shy to try going to his speakeasy, he found he still loved every time he got a notification that VaguelyScribblesDownward.
#fandom-trumps-hate-chat fandom trumps hate chat
LSpaceCurator
Hello, VD, I just got the notification email and wanted to confirm with you that you had a workable prompt.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
LMAO don’t call me that
LSpaceCurator
Oh! Apologies, I can see now how that might be interpreted. Would VSD be better?
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Honestly, just call me Crowley.
Message #fandom-trumps-hate-chat
Ezra’s heart went aflutter at the message that showed that VD really trusted him. Err. That Crowley really trusted him, if he was willing to share his real name.
#fandom-trumps-hate-chat fandom trumps hate chat
LSpaceCurator
Of course, my dear Crowley. And you may call me Ezra, if you like.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Sure, Ezra. That’s from the Bible, right?
LSpaceCurator
Yes, although I believe it means “helper” or “protector,” also, which I find I also identify with, too.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Regular angel, aren’t you?
Message #fandom-trumps-hate-chat
Ezra went an interesting shade of pink, feeling warm inside out. Was this flirting? Ezra wasn’t very good at interpreting when someone was flirting with him. He wasn’t sure the best response to that, except to encourage it more.
#fandom-trumps-hate-chat fandom trumps hate chat
LSpaceCurator
You may call me that, if you prefer.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
What, angel? Yeah, might just do.
1
Message #fandom-trumps-hate-chat
Ezra put a heart emoji in response, but then quickly changed it to a thumbs up, not wanting to seem too forward. There were three little dots signifying that Crowley was still typing, and he hoped the change wasn’t noticed.
#fandom-trumps-hate-chat fandom trumps hate chat
VaguelyScribblesDownward
And yes, Angel, your prompt is accepted. Consider me checked-in. Or me checking you out.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Or, erm. Yes. We are on the same page, I mean to say.
Message #fandom-trumps-hate-chat
Ezra closed his laptop and ran in a happy little circle, hands excitedly wiggling in little fists. Oh, this was going so well! He exhaled a deep breath to regain control and opened the laptop again.
#fandom-trumps-hate-chat fandom trumps hate chat
LSpaceCurator
Wonderful to hear, my dear! And lovely to know we are getting on so well. Not like me and my other bidder.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Ha! Same, actually. Bloke I bid on seems to take everything I say wrong. He hates the prompt I gave him but he’s determined to do it anyway, the spiteful bugger. Excited to see how it turns out. Well worth the donation to read it.
LSpaceCurator
That’s hilarious! And wonderful to hear it’s not just me who is struggling with the match. My bidder gave me a very challenging prompt, almost impossible to keep it in the fandom, but I’ve managed a way forward anyway! That’ll show them.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Marvellous. I like your vengeful streak, Angel. Remind me never to get on your bad side.
LSpaceCurator
You never could, dear. Since we’re both working on stories, might I invite you to a sprint?
VaguelyScribblesDownward
What’s a sprint?
LSpaceCurator
Oh, let me show you! It’s a game in Discord where you tell the bot how many words you have on your story, and set a timer, and at the end you give your final word count, and you “compete” against the other sprinters. All in good fun, and I find it quite motivates me to type faster than I would normally. Usually I get so bogged down in research I can barely get the words in.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Sure, yeah that sounds fun. Just @ me to summon me like a demon wherever you want to sprint and I’ll join. What have you been researching?
LSpaceCurator
Right now I’m researching Bradford postmarks in the early 20th century.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
LOL. That’s awfully specific.
LSpaceCurator
Well, the fandom I’m in pays a lot of attention to detail, so it’s very important to get right. But I admit sometimes I go a little too deep, I suppose. What have you been researching?
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Now I’m looking up the Feegle dictionary. Do you ken, ye ken?
LSpaceCurator
Yes, I do in fact. That’s Scottish, for “you know” is it not?
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Yeah. Right now I’m trying to figure out if I can add an s. Like kens.
LSpaceCurator
For present tense? Hmm.
LSpaceCurator
I just looked it up, and the dictionary says you can. https://dsl.ac.uk/entry/snd/ken
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Ok, good. I like to add enough flair to the words for canon but keep the flow.
LSpaceCurator
Also here’s a thesis about that phrase specifically: https://digitalrepository.unm.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1018&context=ling_etds
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Oh, um, wow, thanks!
LSpaceCurator
Not a problem! What’s the website you’re looking at?
VaguelyScribblesDownward
The one I use is this one: https://narrativiumreviews.wordpress.com/2024/06/20/the-feegle-glossary-as-begun-by-miss-perspicacia-tick-witch/
LSpaceCurator
Crivens! Yes, seems there's a lot of Feegle specific vocabulary to navigate!
VaguelyScribblesDownward
LOL ikr
LSpaceCurator
Is that also Feegle?
VaguelyScribblesDownward
No, Gen Z slang. Means “I know right.” Or maybe it’s Gen Y. Whichever.
LSpaceCurator
Ah. That’s one language I’m not as proficient in, I’m afraid.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Oh, just got your summons. Happy Sprinting!
Message #fandom-trumps-hate-chat
#sprinters of the disc unite sprinters of the disc unite
Sprinto
🏆 CONGRATS EVERYONE
1. @VaguelyScribblesDownward— 448 words (30 wpm)
2. @LSpaceCurator — 154 words (10 wpm)
Combined word count: 602 words over 15 minutes.
“Writing is the most fun you can have by yourself.” - Terry Pratchett
Message #sprinters of the disc unite
#fandom-trumps-hate-chat fandom trumps hate chat
LSpaceCurator
Seems you go too fast for me, I’m afraid! Well done!
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Thanks! Speed demon on the keys, me. And might disagree on one thing with Pratchett there.
LSpaceCurator
What do you mean?
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Oh, the quote from the writer race bot. I was making a joke about… never mind.
LSpaceCurator
Ha! Well I do believe I know where you were going with that. For me it’s definitely a very close second.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Ha! Yeah, same lol
LSpaceCurator
And I probably would have been faster if I wasn’t busy researching types of ink popular in Yorkshire in 1913.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
LOL. Yeah that would probably slow you down. What did you learn?
LSpaceCurator
Well, the ink popular at the time was iron gall ink, which starts out as gray but over time oxidizes into a dark brown color, so you can partially determine the age of a letter by the color of the ink from that time period.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
I didn't realize this is why old letters have brown ink, fascinating! I hope your giftee appreciates the work you are putting into this!
LSpaceCurator
I highly doubt it, but appreciate it nonetheless! Now I’m looking up sandstone. Are you familiar with Millstone grit?
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Tell me about it.
LSpaceCurator
… are you sure I’m not boring you?
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Never, angel. I find you fascinating. If your giftee doesn’t appreciate you, then I certainly will.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
… still there, angel?
LSpaceCurator
Oh! Apologies, my dear fellow. Seems I got lost in researching. I was about to excitedly tell you all about the type of sandstone specific to the British Isles during the Carboniferous age that is resistant to weathering, but when I went to fact check myself, I got a little lost on Wikipedia, I’m afraid.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
LOL. Absolutely understandable. Fell down my own research hole too while I waited. Researching details in Discworld is so hard because it's all buried across forty different books and half of it is only written to serve a punchline
LSpaceCurator
What were you researching?
VaguelyScribblesDownward
I just tried to add Mad Wee Arthur - that Feegle on the Guard - and thought he would be in Ankh at the time of my story but just realized that he doesn't know he's a Feegle until later. So now I need a different Feegle living in Ankh to take my characters to Unseen university.
LSpaceCurator
Ah, that is quite a challenge.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Quick, give me a good, hearty British name
LSpaceCurator
Sam?
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Good, and any adjective
LSpaceCurator
Um. Long?
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Ok Sure. Long Sam the previously-unmentioned-but-still-canon-plausible-Feegle living in Ankh Morpork it is. He'll be in the rat catcher guild like Mad Wee Arthur, so I can still use my “Deus ex Rat-ina” that you so cleverly coined to fix any holes in the story.
LSpaceCurator
That sounds positively delightful. I’m also a big fan of the Nac Mac Feegles. The Tiffany Aching series is a favorite. I always cry so hard when reading The Shepherd’s Crown, knowing it was Terry Pratchett’s last book.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Yeah, that’s the main reason I haven’t finished it. Tried a few times, but that opener… I’m usually a sobbing mess before I’ve made it far.
LSpaceCurator
Absolutely understand, my dear fellow. We’ve done some group reads occasionally on the Discord World server. Sometimes it helps to have a community. Or… we could read it together, sometime. If you like.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
I’ll take you up on that sometime. I think I’ll need all the help I can get.
LSpaceCurator
One of the ships I absolutely adore is Preston and Tiffany in that series.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Oh, yeah, he’s the one who gives her a necklace, right, in I Shall Wear Midnight? Of a hare running into the fire?
LSpaceCurator
Yes, exactly! As a symbol of facing your fears and coming through it changed, but not destroyed.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Always loved that bit. Here, let me find the quote.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
“The fire, it takes her, she is not burned. The fire, it loves her, she is not burned. The hare runs into the fire.”
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Feel like I relate to that. Going through fire, coming through different. If I got another tattoo it would probably be that quote, with an image of a hare jumping into the fire.
Message #fandom-trumps-hate-chat
There were so many questions Ezra wanted to ask to that, but all of them felt too personal, so he settled for:
#fandom-trumps-hate-chat fandom trumps hate chat
LSpaceCurator
What’s your other tattoo?
VaguelyScribblesDownward
A snake, offering an apple. Always loved the serpent in the garden of eden best. He gave us knowledge.
LSpaceCurator
Then I’m quite a fan of the serpent, also, for giving us knowledge. And for the hare for being so brave to jump into the fire. And have to say, that even through adversity, that I’m quite proud of them both.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
… thanks, angel. That means a lot. Really.
Message #fandom-trumps-hate-chat
Ezra exhaled a sigh of relief, hoping he had been close enough to the mark, to share the compassion he was feeling without knowing the specifics.
#fandom-trumps-hate-chat fandom trumps hate chat
LSpaceCurator
I also love how Preston and Tiffany pursue what's important to them and still stay close, even when they are far apart.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
I could add that in. To the story. Make a long distance relationship. I wasn't going to add any romance to this but maybe now I will. How do you feel on rare pairs. Are you opposed to rare pairs
LSpaceCurator
How rare, exactly?
VaguelyScribblesDownward
William the Gonnagle/Librarian
LSpaceCurator
…That is quite a rare pair. How would that work?
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Awning.
LSpaceCurator
What do you mean?
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Romance is easy. Just add rain and have the couple run under an an awning and they fall in love. Vavoom, sorted.
LSpaceCurator
I see. That sounds quite romantic.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
And on the Librarian, I think I’ll have them fall in love while he's human. And I'm going to magically rewrite that his form adapts from Orang-utan back to human in the L-space - like I want them to be, um…
LSpaceCurator
Physically compatible?
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Yeah I don’t want it to be like, a thing - oh you know what I mean. I’m more interested in the backstory and character life of the Librarian as a whole, not just as an ape. Pratchett even said he’d never be the focus of a story because he didn’t want to write “Ook” over and over and that makes character development hard.
LSpaceCurator
Yes, that would be quite silly.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
But clearly he still thinks like a man, right? So just trying to write in some options for him, where he can assume the shape that makes him happy (the orang-utan) at the Library, and still get to be a small and human form match for the Nac Mac Feegle in their own magical L-space when they want to be together. Is that ok? Makes sense? Don’t want to pass any no-gos…They could retire to a cottage by the sea, somewhere, seems a sweet place for a retirement.
LSpaceCurator
Maybe the South Downs? Always dreamed of it myself someday. It's where Sherlock Holmes retired.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Oh are you a fan of that too?
LSpaceCurator
A very large fan, I have to say.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Oh, me too! Question, for the William the Gonnagle and Librarian, should I do the & or a slash? Like they love each other and it's a slow burn but I'm not quite exploring that, more leaving to reader imagination
LSpaceCurator
I'm a demisexual so I'm always thinking hard about how I use the & and /. Lifelong platonic friendships are just as meaningful. But also counts as / even if it's ace.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Ok good to know. I’m demisexual, too. Helps to get to know someone first.
LSpaceCurator
How do you feel about oysters?
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Is that an ace term? Haven’t heard that one.
LSpaceCurator
Oh, sorry my good fellow, that question really came from left field, didn’t it? I just meant the bivalve mollusk.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
LOL! Yeah I wouldn’t know. I’ve never eaten an oyster.
LSpaceCurator
I want to include a parable on the walrus and the carpenter. Do you know that story?
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Oh yeah, something about naive oysters being led away to their doom?
LSpaceCurator
Oh yes! And might use that wording exactly if you don't mind, you put that so clever. And are you familiar with the Cottingley Fairies?
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Naw, haven’t heard of that.
LSpaceCurator
Well I learned something new in my research for this project and I’m including it, it really is helping me drive the narrative. And now I’m researching the type of paper specific to the Cottingley area in the 1910s.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
Funny, I’m also writing about fairies. Well, kind of. The Nac Mac Feegles are a type of fairy folk too. We’ll be experts on this before we’re through!
LSpaceCurator
Ugh. I just got an email from my bidder.
VaguelyScribblesDownward
That’s funny. I just sent one.
LSpaceCurator
What a coincidence! Well, I’d better be off to answer this. It’s been lovely chatting with you.
Message #fandom-trumps-hate-chat
Ezra closed the laptop, worried he ended things too soon, but was feeling too many things swirling inside to trust himself to continue the conversation. He decided to switch gears and see what GoldenEyes221b had to say.
To: TheWatsonDiaries
From: GoldenEyes221b
Date: Sun, Jun 15, 2025 at 12:15 PM
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: FTH - here’s what happens next
Meant to ask, curious on your moniker, since Watson’s the sidekick? But yeah, all that sounds good, whatever.
- GoldenEyes221b
Ezra huffed an indignant huff and started typing a response.
To: GoldenEyes221b
From: TheWatsonDiaries
Date: Sun, Jun 15, 2025 at 12:27 PM
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: FTH - here’s what happens next
I can assure you Watson was most certainly NOT the sidekick. He was the protagonist, as is very clear in the novels. All of the stories are from his point of view, relating the stories from his own participation with Holmes, or hearing the stories from him. I know the films and television shows often portray him as the sidekick, but that is very disingenuous to the source material. My moniker is trying to preserve his legacy.
Good afternoon,
TheWatsonDiaries
He felt safe enough with the sign-off, assuming that GoldenEyes would not catch the Dickens reference. He worried about being too blunt but he felt passionate about the need to defend Watson against the many unfair portrayals of him, making him out to be a simpleton just to somehow make Holmes seem more clever. He was missing all the subtly from the book! Clearly one of those fans who had never bothered to read the original material.
Before he’d had a chance to switch back to Discord, there was another email from GoldenEyes221b. Ezra sighed and opened it.
To: TheWatsonDiaries
From: GoldenEyes221b
Date: Sun, Jun 15, 2025 at 12:28 PM
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: FTH - here’s what happens next
Oh, well forgive me for showing an ounce of interest in your handle, or for thinking Holmes makes for a better protagonist. I’m curious indeed how your Johnlock will solve the great mystery of the fairy or the walrus. Do let me know when it’s finished.
Ezra deleted the email.
He didn’t see any point in continuing the conversation further.
And it simply gave him more motivation to finish the story early so he could have the whole experience over and done.
So he started typing away.
Notes:
If you are interested in adding sprints to your Discord check out - https://sprintobot.com/ - it's the best!!
Also shout-out to Luinlothana for letting me know about the Cottingley Fairies - check out her really great story about it - https://archiveofourown.org/collections/sosh_gta_68/works/71940156
Chapter 3: The Knock
Summary:
TheWatsonDiaries presents his gift to GoldenEyes221b in the short story "The Knock"
Notes:
The Knock
By TheWatsonDiaries for GoldenEyes221b
Enjoy your gift!Prompt:
It is the middle of a Sunday afternoon. You aren’t expecting visitors, deliveries or post.
Unexpectedly, there is a knock at the door.
Which of these would surprise you more to find on the doorstep?
🧚 Fairy
🦭 Walrus
https://www.tumblr.com/formlesschromatic/743233166248214528?source=share
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The Knock
From the confidential journals of Dr. J. H. Watson
17th November, 1917
Dear Diary,
Today we had a most unusual missive delivered to our residence. Mrs Hudson brought it in, and though it was addressed to Mr Holmes she gave it to me, stating that it was more likely to be read if it was in my hands. And though I am not Holmes’ secretary, I do find myself taking on a role of helping him to stay organized with the many fan letters and unusual requests that come in, and agreed to read it over.
Inside was a short missive:
Assume you were alone on a Sunday afternoon, and you heard a knock at the door. Which of these would surprise you more to find on the doorstep?
A Fairy, or a Walrus?
The letter was unsigned.
At first I dismissed it as nothing more than an attempt at getting a rise out of the popular consulting detective, but then I remembered how his old adversary was fond of sending messages just like this one, and that looks could be deceiving. Perhaps it was some sort of veiled threat? Normally I would have thrown such a message away, but uncertainty stayed my hand, so that evening over drinks I found myself bringing up the prompt when Holmes seemed to be available for casual conversation, with his most recent case having been solved to his illustrious client’s satisfaction.
“Holmes, we had an unusual letter sent to us this afternoon. It seemed harmless enough, but I decided it might be best if you gave it a glance before I tossed it away,” I said as I handed the letter over to him.
Holmes, in his usual fashion, didn’t jump to the content of the missive first. He examined the envelope, noting its quality and manufacture, along with any marks he could discern on the outside. He brought it to his nose and gave it a sniff, before opening the envelope to examine the paper on the inside. This got the same treatment, and only when he was satisfied that he had obtained all the information he could from such investigation did he bother to read the words.
“Interesting, indeed,” Holmes proclaimed and held the letter at length. “Tell me, Watson, what did you make of this?”
“At first, I thought it nothing more than a childish prank, but I know we’ve received similar coded missives with more sinister meanings. I am still hopeful that it’s in jest.”
Holmes looked at the paper meaningfully. “And pray-tell, which would you find more surprising?”
I found myself surprised by the question, the solution seemed so obvious it hardly seemed worth mentioning. “Why, a fairy, of course!”
“And why is that so seemingly obvious?”
“Because fairies aren’t real!” I replied, indignant. Surely a man of science such as Holmes couldn’t dispute that fact!
“Aren’t real, or haven’t been properly observed?” Holmes replied. “Remember, when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."
“So for you, the impossible would be the walrus?”
“Let us look at this another way,” Holmes replied. “The important question for us, at least in this moment, is not whether the fairy or the walrus is more surprising, but who sent the letter, and why. It’s unsigned, but the one who wrote it knows that I would not need a signature to know who sent it, having provided enough in the way of clues through the paper, handwriting, and postmark. First thing we can discern is that it’s from Bradford, due to the distinct Squared Circle here in the corner. But here you can see mud splatter on the right of the letter, underneath the stamp, suggesting it came from someone carrying it a long way on the road before reaching the post office and affixing it. It’s also a Penny Post Jubilee stamp from 1890, nearly twenty-seven years old, suggesting an older patriotic family member who had heavily invested in stamps that year, and is sharing the stamps with younger family members to use before the postage rate goes next year. Likely from a grandparent hopeful that the grandchildren will write home more often. It is on crown octavo stationary, also aged. I can tell already from this letter that the writer is from a family of means and comfort, living in the countryside. The ink is iron gall ink, which is already oxidizing into a dark brown color, but the address on the envelope is still pale grey, suggesting that the letter itself was written much earlier than it was sent by post. It is my belief that this letter reveals a long-held family secret, that a younger family member hopes to make public.”
“Holmes, you got all of that from just the paper…?” I exclaimed. “But what do you make of the message?”
“I believe it is an invitation. And also proposes an ethical dilemma.”
I sighed, and took a long draught of my tea, before asking Holmes how he arrived at that conclusion.
“Are you familiar with Alice in Wonderland?” Holmes asked me, as he often did, by answering a question with a question of his own.
“The children’s tale? Why, yes, I read that when I was a child, but I’m not sure how that’s—”
“Surely you remember the story, ‘The Walrus and the Carpenter’?”
I concentrated, and found that indeed I did. “That was a poem, wasn’t it, where the Carpenter and the Walrus lead some naive oysters to their doom?”
“It is indeed,” Holmes answered. “So one way of looking at the question: if there is a fairy, it’s because there is an absence of a walrus.”
I concentrated hard on his meaning. “Because if there were a fairy, in truth, then the temptation to exploit such a fact would be detrimental to the fairy?”
“We both know that would be the likely fate, and that’s how I interpret the question.” Holmes stood and started pacing in excitement, just as he always did when getting close to revealing to me what had been plain for him all along. “What I deduce is that the presence of fairies has long been known in this family, but kept as a tightly guarded secret, and passed down to younger generations with the Walrus and the Carpenter tale as a way to teach the ethics of not going public with their discovery. Someone in the family had heard of my work as a consulting detective, and reasoned that the best way to prove their existence would be to apply the science of logic and deduction. They wish to invite me to come and see if I believe fairies are possible to exist. They wish to make sure that I understand the moral dilemma if they do, in fact, exist. And they want me to prove I’m worthy of the task by discerning all of this from only the most basic clues in the letter.”
“My dear Holmes!” I exclaimed. “Even if they did wish to make this so challenging for you, how would you know where to find them? Bradford is still a very large city.”
“Here we examine even closer,” Holmes exclaims, holding a fine layer of dust from the letter under his magnifying glass. “At the bottom of the envelope is a hint of coal dust, and very coarse sandstone, likely Millstone Grit. Now if we look closer at a map of West Yorkshire, and look at some of the surrounding communities within a day’s walk of Bradford, that also sits on both coal deposits and Millstone Grit, we can see that narrows us down to a community, here, right between Shipley and Bingley,” he said as he pointed to the map in triumph. “This envelope is manufactured by De La Rue, which is less common in West Yorkshire and more common in South Africa. I infer that the family that purchased this envelope is newly returned from Cape Town and have returned to their long-held family residence in Cottingley village. I feel even this much information would be enough to find an address, should I turn up at a local pub and ask a few of the more talkative residents. However, none of this answers your initial query.”
I carefully set down my tea, doing my best to keep up with his mental gymnastics. “And what is that?”
“Which would surprise me more if I heard a knock at the door. Tell me, Watson, have you ever seen a walrus?”
I nodded. “Yes, I believe they had one some years back at the London Zoo.”
“And how would you describe it?”
“It was a large, blubbery mammal, with large tusks and whiskers.”
“Keep going,” Holmes said, with a turn of his hand. “Leave out no detail, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant.”
“It was brown, and large, with a tail, and quite wrinkly, I might add.” I sat and thought some more about what I’d seen.
“What else?” Holmes prodded.
“He had two flippers, one on each side.”
“AHA!” Holmes exclaimed, pointing to the ceiling with triumph. “And there’s the rub of it all.”
“I’m not sure I follow?” I asked, thoroughly confused as to where he was going with this.
“It would surprise me quite indeed, if a large, blubberous, mammal, such as you describe, with only fins by his side, could manage to knock at all.”
Notes:
(I also posted this as a separate fic - https://archiveofourown.org/works/75880981)