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saccharine

Summary:

Jaehyun is still smiling at him, looking at him, and in a way, the feeling of his eyes is far more obtrusive than the glaring sun. "You're staring," he mutters. Jaehyun matches his tone when he responds.

"You're pretty," he states, simple, and not quite loud enough to be heard by anyone else— is it part of the performance, or is it just for him? Dongmin would like to not think about it, but he is. Suddenly, his chest hurts and his head feels heavy.

dongmin thinks it would be funny to play a prank on his friends. unfortunately, fake dating myung jaehyun is more than he was prepared for

Notes:

hello my lovelies!!!

gosh, i'm so excited for this one...this is an idea i had a While ago that i built up a plot for and then never wrote...and then a few weeks ago i decided to just Start and now this is something im really, really proud of <3

i do want to note that this is vaguely set somewhere tropical, but i left it pretty open ended where the boys are actually from, so just don't take that part too seriously LOL

i hope you enjoy reading this!!!

(for mel, one of my dearest friends who loves myung jaehyun as much as dongmin does here. i love you, thank you for being you)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Han Dongmin is stubborn.

He's heard it since he was a kid; muttered under his mothers breath, whispered between other students in school— hell, it's the main reason none of his relationships have worked out. 'You're too stubborn, Dongmin. I just don't know how to deal with you.'

So it's a character flaw. At least Dongmin is self aware, and he's working on it, really.

Myung Jaehyun was the first person to tell him it was a good trait; he insisted that without his stubbornness, he wouldn't be who he is. Dongmin had never heard that from someone before Jaehyun, and that's exactly why he's the friend Dongmin turns to.

"Sorry, I need you to go through this again," Jaehyun's sitting cross-cross on Dongmin's bed, hand stuffed in a bag of hot-fries. He shoves one in his mouth and waits for Dongmin to respond.

He sighs. Repeats himself, "I want you to pretend that we're dating so we can mess with Donghyun."

A beat of silence. The ceiling fan above Dongmin's bed whirs and Dongmin waits for him to speak. Jaehyun squints. "…because?"

Dongmin huffs, waves his hand in the air dismissively. "Because he's annoying and thinks I can't pull off a prank."

It makes Jaehyun laugh, which certainly wasn't the point, but it makes Dongmin smile regardless. "Did he say something?"

He did. Dongmin is still a little too peeved to repeat it, though. The insinuation was that Dongmin can't pull off good jokes like he can because he can't commit to anything, so what better way to mess with him than to pull this off?

"I just think it would be really funny, don't you? Only for vacation, and then we can break the news that it was fake— but we'd have to commit to the bit the whole trip. Can you do that for four days?"

Jaehyun hums thoughtfully as he wipes off the dust from his chips onto his pant leg. "You're talking about all this like I've already agreed."

Dongmin clasps his hands together and makes his eyes bigger than usual; he's not above begging for what he wants, especially when it's just him and Jaehyun. Jaehyun will always give in to a bit of begging. "Because you're going to..?"

A few seconds go by before Jaehyun is sighing, slumping against Dongmin's wall, framed by his band posters and Polaroids of their friend group. "Okay, fine— but we're gonna have to do a whole lot of planning if we're gonna pull this off."

"Yes!" A grin takes over Dongmin's face and he launches himself off his bed, grabbing a notebook and his favorite black gel pen from his desk before he's plopping back down beside Jaehyun. He opens the cap and flips to an empty page, titles it, 'Fuck with friends'. "Alright, let's figure this out."

 

 

Friday

 

 

This is the fifth four-day vacation Dongmin and his friends have taken together.

It started because it got harder to hang out all six of them, with some of them going to college and the rest finding full time jobs. They still found ways, of course— movie nights and dinners and smoking shitty joints in Woonhak's basement, but the annual trip provides a chance for them to do nothing but relax and enjoy each others company. Family time, as Jaehyun always calls it.

The first year, they just drove a few hours and stayed at a random hotel, explored the city a bit. Since then, they've done something different each year, usually in the summer, sometimes winter, for four days.

This year, they're splurging; Sanghyuk's dad has a friend who apparently owns a chain of these bougie ocean-side hotels, and he helped get them a discount that was too sweet a deal to pass up. Dongmin couldn't believe the pictures Sungho had pulled up after Sanghyuk told them the news, the place has three different pools, and was in walking distance of the beach. There's multiple restaurants, bars, a spa— and each of their rooms are considered suites, although they'll be sharing two to a room, but the beds look huge. Worth it.

Dongmin kinda hates the airport. It's too loud in some places, too quiet in others. It's constantly moving, bustling, pure white lights and dusty floors. At a time like this, it's only making Dongmin's head spin more with all the thinking he's doing already.

"Are you excited?" Jaehyun asks him with a smile. He's got one wired headphone in his ear, a hood pulled up over his messy hair. He's leaning on his suitcase and his fingers absentmindedly fiddle with he handle. "Do you feel ready?"

Dongmin nods. "Very. Should we review anything before the others get here? Just to be safe?"

Jaehyun laughs, "I think we'll be fine, Dongminnie. We practiced and, if we try too hard, it won't be convincing— we just gotta act how we would if we were really dating."

Hmm. See, Dongmin has actively been trying not to think about it that way, actually. The more he thinks of this as a role to be played, the less his head starts to get murky. He hasn't identified the sea-sick like nausea that starts in his chest when he dwells on it— not yet. Imagining if it was real..? It feels like playing with fire.

They wait until everyone has arrived to say something. They're waiting to board the plane, their luggage around them, some sitting in the airport chairs and some on the floor. Sanghyuk in particular is an amusing sight, a sleep mask on his head and still in his pajamas— it's not even that early, and the flight is fairly short, so it makes Dongmin smile to see him in such a way.

"Guys, now that we're all together, I have something I'd like to discuss," Jaehyun starts, standing before the rest of them and waiting for their attention. Then, he's looking at Dongmin. "Wanna do this with me?"

Dongmin stands too, going to Jaehyun's side— a hand finds his lower back and Dongmin's first instinct is to brush it away, just pure muscle memory, but he doesn't. He lets it happen.

"Alright— we figured now would be as good a time as any to say this—"

"Oh boy, is Dongmin pregnant?" Woonhak chimes up from his place on the floor, shit-eating grin on his face. Sungho smacks him in the arm but he's laughing, and Dongmin glares through the mortified blush that settles on his cheeks.

"Anyway," Jaehyun continues. "We—well, Dongmin and I would like to say that uh… we're… together!"

Silence. Not even necessarily stunned silence, just… silence. Dongmin watches their faces, and everyone seems surprised, but not nearly as shocked or aghast as he was hoping. He wanted a scene, he wanted it to be a big deal. Sue him, but he wanted a little drama!

Donghyun's head cocks to the side. He's looking up from his Nintendo, at least, glasses perched low on his nose. "Together, like, dating?"

"Yes," Dongmin answers.

Sanghyuk shifts back in his chair, looking only mildly interested. "Well that is just fascinating."

Dongmin blinks. "Is..no one surprised?"

Jaehyun gives him a look, but his hand doessn't move from Dongmin's back.

"I mean, just speaking for me personally, I kinda saw this coming," Sungho shrugs, and he hasn't even bothered to put down his phone, some article still on his screen in bright ass light mode. "But, y'know I'm happy for you guys, even if I resent the fact that this makes me the last single one."

That's. Not really the reaction Dongmin was hoping for. Donghyun looks back to his Nintendo, and Woonhak goes back to theorizing about the hotel, and everyone just… moves on. Jaehyun shrugs when Dongmin frowns at him.

Saw this coming? No one was shocked because… they expected this to happen? Dongmin is pissed off, to say the least. He wanted a big reaction, and he got a lukewarm one at best. Whatever. At least no one said they don't believe them, so if they keep it up, the reveal should still be juicy.

 

 

The hotel is fucking huge.

The lobby has a grand piano and a man playing it in the nicest suit Dongmin's ever seen. Marble floors, huge windows that face the sea, a bustling restaurant and bar on one side and lounge like seating on the other.

Sanghyuk checks them in, gives everyone their key cards. They're all on the same floor, but different rooms. The elevator has mirrors on all sides, even one on the ceiling. The hallways are long, still pristine just like the lobby, blue and white art hung on the walls.

The rooms are just as nice as Dongmin was expecting. Him and Jaehyun slip through the door and are immediately thrown into a somewhat tropical heaven; it's aggressively clean, white bedding, palm-leaf decals lining the navy wainscoting— Dongmin pushes open the bathroom door and whistles when he sees the size of the tub. "This place is way out of my pay grade."

He hears Jaehyun chuckle and turns to look at him— he's shuffling towards the two beds with his luggage rolling behind him, and he presses a hand down on one of the mattresses as if to test the spring. "Oh wow. Luxury~"

Dongmin snorts. "Can I have the one by the window?"

Jaehyun makes the face he pulls when he's pretending to think about something, but really has already decided to give Dongmin what he wants. "I suppose—you owe me a drink, though. I'm thinking something alcoholic, preferably."

As he speaks, Jaehyun's already sitting himself down on the bed closest to the wall. "Sure," Dongmin shrugs, "I'll make sure it's fruity enough for you not to taste the alcohol."

"Hey!" Jaehyun's nose wrinkles with his smile. Like a puppy. "You don't like strong drinks either.."

He shrugs, "Yeah, but I don't whine about it."

Jaehyun scoffs and stretches his arms above his head, falling back against the mattress and sighing contently. "I don't whine. Do you want me to whine?"

Dongmin's cheeks get warm. "No," he lies.

They spend a little time unpacking— there's a dresser adjacent to the foot of the beds, big enough for both of them to shove their clothes into. It's weird, how something as simple as putting clothing away makes Dongmin feel more settled in.

His phone dings with a message from the group chat.

 

Donghyun 2:41 p.m

↳ pool? 𐔌*ˊᵕˋ*𐦯

Woonhak 2:41 p.m

↳ YEAHHHHHHHH

Sanghyuk 2:42 p.m

↳ 👍❗️

Jaehyun 2:42 p.m

↳ Be there soon!!!

Donghyun 2:43 p.m

↳ hooray (>_<)

 

"I just had a realization," Jaehyun announces right as Dongmin's grabbing his swim shorts. He waits until Dongmin is looking at him to continue. "What if they make us kiss, and it looks unnatural.."

Dongmin squints, "Why would they make us kiss..?"

Jaehyun throws his hands up defensively. "I dunno! It could happen—plus, if we didn't at all, and they noticed.."

"That could out us, yeah…" Dongmin sets his shorts on the top of the dresser and hums. "Maybe—ugh, this is so awkward to suggest.."

"Should we practice?" Jaehyun says it for him, a hand rubbing the back of his neck. Dongmin exhales with relief.

"Yeah I…I think that's probably smart," Dongmin feels.. nervous—why does he feel so nervous? This isn't real. It's a role. It's just like that play he did when he was fourteen where he had to peck his friend Yunah on the lips, and that obviously meant nothing. She's a lesbian now.

Jaehyun sits on the edge of the mattress and lightly pats the place next to him. "This—it can be quick. We just need to make sure that if the situation calls for it, we can kiss without it looking like it's our first time."

Dongmin nods. He settles himself beside him and exhales slowly. Jaehyun gives him a small smile as Dongmin's hand finds the side of his face; his skin is soft, warm under his touch. It takes everything for Dongmin not to recoil from it— he's not used to allowing himself to indulge in being this close to Jaehyun. It feels dangerous.

"Do you…want me to-"

"No no," Dongmin swallows. "I can do it."

He leans closer and Jaehyun's eyes flutter closed. He sits there, motionless, waiting, until Dongmin summons enough bravery to fit their mouths together. It's a short kiss, fleeting, chaste. Jaehyun's lips are a bit chapped, but he presses back into the kiss with a type of eagerness that isn't surprising to Dongmin, per say, but still a bit to adjust to. It's nice. It's good. It's over before either of them can get too comfortable.

"That was good," Jaehyun says, and Dongmin drops his hand from his face so he won't feel the way Dongmin's fingers start to tremble.

"Yeah," he whispers, "Not bad."

"Not unnatural," Jaehyun nods, and Dongmin feels something about it.

 

 

Donghyun, unsurprisingly, is already in the water by the time they get downstairs. There's not as many people surrounding the pool as Dongmin expected, maybe it has something to do with the aforementioned three of them around the hotel. Still, this one is nice, as luxurious as the rest of the place. Sapphire blue tile stretches along the bottom and there are plenty of seats and umbrellas around the outside to shade them from the sun.

Dongmin swims a bit, but he ends up wishing it was in the ocean instead. Eventually, he crawls out of the water and finds a lounge chair to dry off in, letting the warmth from the sun sink into his skin.

It nearly feels like some kind of slow-motion scene from a drama. Jaehyun lifts himself from the pool, hands braced on the smooth edge. The water clings to him, rolls down the soft looking layer of muscle across his chest, and Dongmin watches, of course he does, because the fucking sun is catching every droplet and it makes him hungry.

Jaehyun walks towards him, hand dragging through his wet hair, pushing most of it back. He plops himself on Dongmin's lounge chair, leans in close. Dongmin swallows— he really hopes he gets used to the proximity that comes along with being in a fake-relationship, because it's only day one and Dongmin's head has not stopped spinning.

"Hey babe," Jaehyun puts on his dopiest smile, all shiny teeth and sparkly eyes. "Did you put on sunscreen..? You look a little pink."

Damp knuckles settle on Dongmin's forehead, brushing softly over his skin. Dongmin's arms tighten where they're folded around himself. "I did—I think it's just the heat.."

He hears Woonhak snort from the chair beside him. His sunglasses are perched too low on his nose to actually protect him from anything; he has one of the magazines from the hotel lobby in his hands, one about interior design, and Dongmin's pretty sure he's holding it upside down. They make eye contact, an amused smirk on Woonhak's face. "Is that what they're calling it these days?"

Dongmin reaches over and flicks him hard on the side of his head.

Jaehyun is still smiling at him, looking at him, and in a way, the feeling of his eyes is far more obtrusive than the glaring sun. "You're staring," he mutters. Jaehyun matches his tone when he responds.

"You're pretty," he states, simple, and not quite loud enough to be heard by anyone else— is it part of the performance, or is it just for him? Dongmin would like to not think about it, but he is. Suddenly, his chest hurts and his head feels heavy.

"I'm thirsty," Dongmin replies lamely. It makes Jaehyun laugh.

"Gotcha," he stands up and presses a quick, wet kiss to the corner of Dongmin's mouth. He knew it was coming, and yet it still startles him. "I'll be right back."

When he scampers away, Woonhak slaps the side of Dongmin's leg with his for-sure-upside-down magazine. "Ah, love being right. I always knew Jaehyun would be like that if you two ever actually started dating."

Dongmin's eyes narrow, "Like what?"

Woonhak throws a hand in the general direction Jaehyun ran off in, "The way he is! Unrealistically chivalrous. Like a Disney prince, but more dog."

Dongmin tilts his head. "That feels a bit insulting, Woonhak-ah."

"Ah, whatever," Woonhak shrugs, "I'd say it to his face too!"

Jaehyun delivers him a drink shortly later, and then blows him a kiss before he launches himself back in the pool— he splashes Dongmin a little, but any annoyance Dongmin would usually have about that is voided by most of the water landing on Woonhak.

"My magazine!"

Dongmin sinks a little lower in his chair as he takes a long sip of his drink. It's yummy, frozen raspberry and he can't taste the alcohol. He owes Jaehyun one of these, he supposes. He'll get there.

His eyes fall closed and he unfurls his arms out, and tries to relax— the sun feels nice, and his heart feels like it's returning to a less chaotic pace. He hears Donghyun's laughter from across the pool, and faint music from the beach, and for the first time all day Dongmin tries to actually relax.

 

 

When Jaehyun and Dongmin's first met, they actually didn't like each other— well, more so, Dongmin didn't really like Jaehyun.

It was his first year of high school, Jaehyun's second. They had a music class together, and something about Jaehyun just bothered him. He was… too nice, maybe. Too confident, too charismatic, too good at everything he did. Music, student government, his academics, he had this ease about him that Dongmin could never possess.

Watching him from a far, Dongmin envied him, infallibly, and he loathed that feeling.

Other people seemed to love him— Donghyun, Woonhak, everyone else who came in contact with Jaehyun just adored him, and because of that, Dongmin started being around him much more. Against his choosing, but still.

The first time he remembers his opinion changing, it was at a party. Dongmin had been dating (dating is generous, fucking around with is more accurate) this closeted frat guy that refused to talk to him in front of anyone, and at this party, Dongmin saw him kiss a girl. It was like some terrible, angsty teen drama, the way the music faded from his ears, and his eyes started to blur.

It's not like he didn't know the guy was a douchebag, it's just that he had never been hurt like that before. Betrayal is a knife, and he didn't know how to deal with it back then.

Seething, Dongmin had stormed out of the house, and Jaehyun followed him, apparently having witnessed the whole thing.

He asked Dongmin is he was okay. Dongmin told him to leave. He didn't.

He stayed by his side. Quietly standing next to him, just being there. When the night air started to get to him and Dongmin started to shiver, Jaehyun shrugged off his own jacket and draped it over Dongmin's shoulders like it was nothing. Casual kindness, after Dongmin had been so borderline cold to him. It was really hard to hate him after that.

Jaehyun is nice. He's good.

 

 

Dongmin waits in idle anticipation the majority of dinner for someone to bring the relationship up— it's like no one wants to break the dam, no one wants to be the first person to say something.

It ends up being Woonhak, because of course it is, Woonhak would rather die than let Dongmin live in peace for more than a few hours.

"Can I ask you two something?" Woonhak starts, his middle and pointer finger separated so he can point at the both Dongmin and Jaehyun at the same time. It is… vaguely threatening. "If you say no, I will ask anyway."

Jaehyun gives Dongmin a squeeze on his knee— no one else can see it, it's just for him. To Woonhak, Jaehyun says "Sure—we knew you guys would have some questions. Shoot."

Before Woonhak can speak up, Sanghyuk is starting from beside him, a manicured hand in the air stopping him mid-thought despite the pout that forms on the younger's face. "Me first— how long?"

"Three months," is what Dongmin says at the same time Jaehyun answers "Just over three months," so that's good, just like they practiced. Donghyun makes an amused noise and shoves his sunglasses on his head, pinning back the dark bangs that frame his face.

"There is no way you two have been hiding this for three months—wouldn't Woonhak notice something?"

It's a fair question—him and Dongmin are roommates, after all. Luckily, Dongmin has prepared for this too.

"First of all, Woonhak is oblivious. Second of all, He almost did notice— We had one close call and then decided we'd only do anything at Jaehyun's place."

Sungho's face scrunches. "Ew, don't make me picture you two doing things.."

Jaehyun sticks his tongue out in his direction and then turns his attention back to Woonhak and Sanghyuk's intense stares— Dongmin supposes he should've suspected they'd be the two to be most skeptical; Sungho doesn't care about their dating lives enough to fret about it, and Donghyun doesn't care about much enough to cause a stir.

"Remember that night a few weeks ago where you were trying to make weed brownies with your moms fudge recipe?" Jaehyun asks, and recognition flickers in Woonhak's face.

"And you came out of Dongmin's room all quiet like you were trying to be sneaky..? Yeah, I remember."

Dongmin tries not to smile— that was the night he had asked for Jaehyun's help pulling this prank. He knew that something like this would help sell their story. Sanghyuk looks convinced, leaning back in his chair and taking a sip of his ice water.

"Who made the first move?" Woonhak asks then.

"I did."

All of them look at Dongmin— all at once, all with expressions that vary from curious to downright disbelief. Dongmin would laugh, if he wasn't offended.

"You did?" Sungho tilts his head to the side. Like it's farfetched.

"Yes! What, do you think I'm too much of a coward?" Dongmin pouts, and Sanghyuk laughs, which is basically confirmation.

Woonhak is quick to shake his head, waving a hand in the air. "It's not that necessarily, it's just—I dunno, I guess I just assumed Jaehyun would be the one. I was sure that if you two ever got together, it would be because Jaehyunie got sick of waiting for you to realize you liked him."

Okay, what the fuck.

Suddenly, Dongmin's throat feels too dry. Jaehyun huffs out a laugh next to him, but it sounds vaguely panicked. "Hey, don't tease him, some people just take a bit longer to realize things certain things than others." Jaehyun's arm stretches around his shoulders, and his thumb gives a soothing rub to Dongmin's bicep. "All that matters is where we are now, right babe?"

Dongmin swallows. Tries to relax a bit. "Right, exactly."

Sungho makes a fake retching noise. "Great, cute, you guys are in love—can we talk about anything else now?"

The topic shifts, but Dongmin feels no less confused. Woonhak is Dongmin's best friend in the whole world—and he was convinced Dongmin was already in love with Jaehyun? And he was convinced the feelings were mutual?

It's a lot of feelings and no time to adjust. He knows this was his idea, and there's no stopping it now, but all at once Dongmin starts to feel like he's bitten off so much more than he can stomach.

 

 

"Sorry things got kinda weird at dinner."

Dongmin offers Jaehyun a small smile. They're in the elevator now, just the two of them, heading back up to their room. Everyone else is hanging back to check out one of the indoor pools that supposedly has a hot tub— Dongmin said his stomach hurt, but he doesn't think anyone believed him. If he's lucky though, they'll all think he's trying to fuck Jaehyun instead of having a Jaehyun-related breakdown. Which he's not even doing! So whatever!

"It's alright," Dongmin mumbles. "What do they know?"

Jaehyun's expression turns complicated. Dongmin can't really read it. "Right!"

The hotel room looks just as fancy at night— instead of the warm sun streaming in through the window, the room is lit by the overhead lights, which are… not as abrasive as Dongmin was expecting. Instead of white and fluorescent, it's a warmer, more forgiving hue.

Dongmin takes the shower first. He hopes all the tension that's formed in his muscles over the course of the day will wash down the drain but it still lingers when he's done. At least he smells like expensive hotel soap now.

He dries off and then changes into his sleep clothes, shorts and his softest t-shirt. Jaehyun is on his phone when Dongmin finally exits the bathroom with a cloud of steam, but the moment Dongmin is sliding under his covers, suddenly Jaehyun's at his side, sitting himself on the edge of his mattress.

"Are you feeling better?"

Dongmin rolls his eyes, but a smile tugs on the corners of his mouth anyway. "I'm fine, Jaehyun—I knew there was a chance things could get kinda weird but.. I'm not sweating it. Really."

Jaehyun's shoulders relax a bit; relief flooding his face. "Ah, good. I'm glad…how was my acting today? Was I convincing?"

Honestly? He was. A little too much, in fact.

"Yeah, good— much better than mine, I could learn a few things." Jaehyun looks like he's gonna object, but Dongmin doesn't let him. "Really, I need to step it up a bit these next few days. You're outdoing me."

He says it lightheartedly, but Jaehyun still looks a bit sheepish. "I just think of what a real boyfriend would do in the moment, that's all."

Dongmin considers for a second. He toys with the hem of the blanket over his lap and looks at Jaehyun with an inquisitive stare. "I…think I need to work on that…"

Jaehyun blinks, and his tongue drags over his bottom lip. Dongmin watches, unwillingly transfixed by the motion. "Okay, let's test this then. What would you, as a real boyfriend, do right now?"

"Well," Dongmin swallows. There's a steady pulse of adrenaline buzzing through his veins. "I'd—I think I'd want you to kiss me, but I probably wouldn't do it myself."

When Jaehyun speaks next, his voice is quieter, but also lower in pitch. It makes Dongmin shiver. "And… why wouldn't you do it yourself?"

Dongmin's chews on the inside of his cheek. "Maybe everyone was right. Maybe I'm not good at making the first move." Neither of them speak. Jaehyun shifts closer— close enough that Dongmin can smell the chlorine that still clings to his hair, close enough that he can feel the warmth radiating off Jaehyun's skin.

He keeps pausing, letting his eyes flit over Dongmin's face, and also seemingly giving him an out. If Dongmin wanted to, he could stop what's happening. He doesn't.

This time, when his lips meet his Dongmin's, it feels different— Jaehyun tastes like the passion fruit sorbet he'd ordered for dessert, and there's weight in the way he presses into the kiss, there's intent. Dongmin doesn't move, hands grasping his knees, but he does open his mouth, and he does kiss back.

It's slow. Unhurried. The way their lips fit together, it's just… it's perfect in a way that Dongmin truly didn't know was possible. It feels cliché— it is cliché. Jaehyun tilts his head, deepens the kiss, opens his mouth.

Their tongues barely graze before Dongmin makes an embarrassing noise, something a little too close to a moan for him not to feel totally and utterly humiliated by it. Jaehyun pulls back and smiles, all warmth and sunshine and everything Dongmin does not need right now. He wipes the corner of his mouth with his thumb and Dongmin is absolutely infuriated at how hot he is.

They don't speak for a moment. Jaehyun gazes at him like he's trying to figure something out but just can't wrap his head around it.

"I…I should shower. I still smell like pool."

"Yeah," Dongmin's hands twitch and he folds them together, just to avoid it being too obvious that he's absolutely losing his fucking mind right now. "The uh, the water pressure is great."

Dongmin swears he doesn't exhale until Jaehyun closes the bathroom door. Genuinely, it clicks closed and Dongmin inhales urgently, palms covering his eyes as he falls back against his pillows.

Fuck fuck fuck what the fuck.

Stupid. Dongmin is fucking stupid, he must be, in what world did he think this would be a good idea?

He drags his hands over his face and groans miserably. He's already committed to this, he thinks. He can't— he won't give up and prove Donghyun right. He refuses.

He just has to like, get normal, real fast. He slaps himself in the cheek and immediately winces. Okay, ow, not like that.

Dongmin sits up and looks towards the window. He can see his reflection in it, his face visible against the darkness of outside. Be normal, he tells himself, but not verbally, just with his eyes. Be normal about everything, but especially Myung Jaehyun.

He lays down and pulls his blanket up high around his head. He shuts his eyes tight and hopes he can fall asleep by the time Jaehyun leaves the shower.

 

 

Saturday

 

 

Dongmin's eyes open blearily. Morning light is streaming delicately in through the sheer curtains and Dongmin stretches his limbs out across the mattress. He yawns for so long that his jaw starts to hurt, and then lets his body go limp; this is one of his favorite feelings, being worn out from a long day but so well rested that he can't wait to do it all over again.

He glances over to see Jaehyun still asleep. His head is tipped back, comforter only covering about half his body, soft snores leaving his parted mouth. Dongmin looks away. Dangerous, dangerous, dangerous. Be normal.

He checks his phone and sees a text from Woonhak in the group chat.

 

Woonhak 10:28 a.m

↳ Anyone up??? I think today is beach dayyyy

Dongmin 10:33 a.m

↳ im up! yes plsss beach

Woonhak 10:33 a.m

↳ Yippeeeee!!!!

Sungho 10:34 a.m

↳ I'm up, so is Donghyun. Can I suggest we do brunch first?

I neeeeed a mimosa

Sanghyuk 10:34 a.m

↳ lol that might be the gayest thing u have ever said

Dongmin 10:34 a.m

↳ we can meet for gay brunch. i gotta to wake up jaehyunie tho

Donghyun 10:35 a.m

↳ wake up or Wake Up? ( - ᴗ •́ )

Dongmin 10:35 a.m

↳ ew shut up

let's meet up around 11, wanna give him a bit more time to sleep

he looks peaceful

Donghyun 10:35 a.m

↳ gay

Woonhak 10:35 a.m

↳ Gay!

Sungho 10:35 a.m

↳ Gay

Sanghyuk 10:35 a.m

↳ lol gay

Jaehyun 10:49 a.m

↳ You guys are the most annoying people on the planet

 

Brunch was a good idea.

The hotels restaurant is a hit, Dongmin's waffles are fucking incredible.

Despite his mini spiral last night, he feels fully like vacation-Dongmin now, relaxed and happy as he shovels a bite of waffle that's mostly just whipped cream and strawberries in his mouth. Also, Sungho gets his mimosa, so that's another win.

Dongmin and Jaehyun didn't talk much this morning— they got ready in relative quiet, but Jaehyun had asked him which shirt he thought would look better on him, and gone with the one Dongmin chose. It doesn't feel awkward, per say, just… complicated. There's a lump in his throat shaped with unsaid words.

Sanghyuk and Woonhak are relaying a story of the time they overheard a couple divorcing over dinner, but Dongmin is only half paying attention. When he can, between bites of his food and appropriately timed laughs, he's looking at Jaehyun. Trying to to get a read on him, and where his heads at.

At some point, Jaehyun meets his eyes. He's chewing on a forkful of his omelette, but he gives Dongmin a closed mouth smile. It doesn't give him any answers, but weirdly enough it does calm the storm in Dongmin's head a bit. It's a comforting sight, always has been.

"And then the woman—and I'm serious, not even exaggerating, Sanghyukie will tell you—takes the guys phone and dunks it in his wine!"

Jaehyun covers his mouth to laugh, eyes turning into sweet little crescents, and something twists and blooms beneath Dongmin's ribs.

He remembers then, that he's supposed to be Jaehyun's boyfriend. It's plausible that he'd touch him, in a moment like this, so Dongmin does. He can't stop himself. He reaches out, palm settling between Jaehyun's shoulder blades. he slips his hand down, rubbing gently across his back— Jaehyun glances at him, and smiles again, but other than that there's no reaction. It's probably good. If he acted surprised, that wouldn't really sell the whole relationship thing.

Jaehyun's shirt is a soft fabric and Dongmin can feel his warmth seep through it— his thumb brushes over his spine and suddenly Dongmin is imagining touching him here under different circumstances. He imagines dipping his hand under his shirt, tracing his fingertips over the small of his back, digging his nails into the skin of his shoulders—

Dongmin retracts his hand. He needs to get it together, seriously, he's gonna lose his damn mind if he keeps allowing himself to fantasize like this.

He stuffs some more waffle in his mouth and then his eyes catch Donghyun's from across from him. He's squinting, and his gaze flickers from Dongmin, to Jaehyun, and back to Dongmin again.

"Gross," he mouths.

Dongmin kicks him under the table.

 

 

The beach is far less crowded than Dongmin had expected to be.

It's a perfect Saturday— the sun is high in the cloudless, paradisal blue sky, the sand warm to the touch when Dongmin's feet meet the fine dunes. It's perfect. Dongmin hasn't been to the beach in forever.

The hotel owns this stretch of beach, if he recalls correctly; there's a bar just off shore, one of the ones that's basically just a little building with bar stools stretched around the outside. Not too far from said bar is a beach volleyball court and Woonhak screams at the sight of it.

"Guys. Guys, we fucking have to," Woonhak says, hands clasped together like he's saying a prayer. No one objects for three whole seconds and Woonhak takes that as a win, cheering loudly and racing off towards the court.

They divide into teams of two, the same as their room arrangements. Sanghyuk and Woonhak, Donghyun and Sungho, and, obviously, Jaehyun and Dongmin.

"We need stakes," Woonhak says definitively. He's brushing sand off the volleyball, Dongmin can almost feel his excitement radiating off of him, like he's vibrating.

"Are we betting money?" Sanghyuk asks from his side, the expression on his face almost comical, raised eyebrows and a sly, foxish smile.

Jaehyun shakes his head, "Nah, we agreed to stop doing that after it put Donghyun's bank account in the negative."

"I had to return soda cans for vape juice," Donghyun laments.

"Yeah, betting money itself is a terrible idea," Sungho smiles, "But maybe the winners still get something bought for them? Drinks?"

Woonhak frowns. "But then what if I win?"

"You won't," Dongmin replies quickly, and it makes Woonhak shove him.

"Drinks and food then. For the entire day, and we all know tonight is for partying," Sungho is tying his hair up into a ponytail as he speaks, his version of preparation. Suddenly, Dongmin feels like the stakes are real.

"So winners get drinks and food paid for them for the rest of the day?" Jaehyun is smirking now, cracking his knuckles. "Oh you're all going down."

So they play.

It's nice to turn his brain off and just focus on the game, focus on being competitive. Him and Jaehyun work great together, they don't have to communicate verbally to be on the same page.

Nearly an hour later, and they're are on the edge of a victory.

The sun is starting to become oppressive, sweat drenching through Dongmin's shirt, but he refuses to slow down. Sanghyuk and Woonhak are out of the running, now sitting in the sand besides the court and half watching, half heckling. Sungho and Donghyun are a powerful team, athletic and patient. Their matching ponytails are genuinely a little terrifying.

They get lucky— Dongmin passes the ball to Jaehyun, and Jaehyun just barely manages to spike it down onto the other side of the roped off court, it hits in the very corner. That's the winning point.

"Fuck yeah!" Jaehyun erupts, turning to face Dongmin with an electric smile. Before Dongmin knows it, he's being swept up in his arms, lips pressing right to the center of Dongmin's mouth.

Dongmin kisses him back, even if he can feel the adrenaline coursing from Jaehyun's body like steady waves. Someone whistles, and Dongmin's ears get hot.

He hears Sungho sigh and breaks the kiss. "Man, I really wanted those free drinks."

Sanghyuk laughs— Woonhak is helping him stand up, brushing sand off his own pants. "Relax, Sungho. I'll pay for a round for everyone."

"You're my favorite rich person," Sungho says with a grin, looking happier already.

The first round of drinks is Sanghyuk's choice, and he chooses shots. Great way to start, Dongmin thinks, as he downs his. It's tequila, and he feels it hit him almost immediately.

Woonhak is pouting, fingers tracing lazily over the bar top. "If we were in Korea, I could drink too," he says solemnly. Sanghyuk pats his shoulder, straight-faced.

"If we were in Korea, we wouldn't be here," Donghyun states.

Woonhak huffs and shoots him a glare, "Thanks, Sherlock. Incredible deduction."

Dongmin feels eyes on him, so he turns. Jaehyun is at his side, elbow leaning against the bar. He's smiling, easy and warm and starry eyed. His hand finds the curve of Dongmin's waist, thumb softly brushing at his skin through his shirt.

"Hey," Dongmin greets him quietly, a little shy sounding even to his own ears.

"Hi. You look beautiful."

Dongmin's cheeks flush and he can't even pretend it's the liquor yet. "Oh, stop— that shot went right to your head, didn't it?"

It makes Jaehyun laugh. He shakes his head, "No, it's just true."

A moment of bravery. Dongmin reaches out, hand settling against Jaehyun's jaw, and he kisses him. It's chaste and sweet but he feels Jaehyun hum into it, gently squeezing at Dongmin's waist.

He can't even lie to himself that he did it for any other reason than he wanted to kiss Jaehyun. In that moment, he probably would've done it even if the others weren't around. He definitely would have, actually.

When Dongmin pulls away, he tunes back into the conversation, but he leans into Jaehyun's touch. It's a small indulgence, but it feels addicting— for the entirety of their friendship, Dongmin has brushed off or scowled when Jaehyun got too touchy, simply because it was easier to play that role than to admit that he likes it. That he likes him.

Donghyun is telling some sort of story about his girlfriend and her girlfriend, and how his girlfriends-girlfriend is becoming one of his best friends, or something. Dongmin is genuinely interested, but mostly because it took forever for Donghyun to make a move on Minju in the first place despite her being way out of his league, so he's just proud of his friend. Woonhak is still sulking, but then Sanghyuk orders him jalapeño poppers and he starts to look a bit more joyful. Sungho pays for the next round, more shots, and Donghyun gets the ones after that.

Dongmin starts to feel tipsy then, and he's fully pressed to Jaehyun's side now, bracketed between him and the bar. Jaehyun's arm is snaked around him, chin resting on Dongmin's shoulder. It feels so real. So casual and easy, like they've done it a thousand times before, like they could do it a thousand times after. It's the type of thing he could see himself getting used to, and isn't that just terrifying?

The thought passes through his intoxicated mind that after this vacation, he won't get this anymore. He and Jaehyun will reveal the prank, and things will go back to how it was, except now Dongmin knows how it feels like to kiss him. He'll have to live with that knowledge, and pretend like it won't haunt him. He'll never forget.

It will end. This is temporary. He might as well enjoy it while he has it.

He's not doing a great job at just being normal.

 

 

They drink more over dinner, all changed into some nicer, less-sandy clothes, but Dongmin tries to offset the effects of the alcohol by chugging water. It works, kinda, but it also unfortunately means he has to keep getting up to pee. It's genuinely a coincidence, when Jaehyun gets up to use the restroom and Dongmin ends up having to go a few minutes later.

When he exits the bathroom stall, he finds that Jaehyun is there, leaning against the wall beside the door, drying off his hands with a towel. He looks so damn good, his shirt unbuttoned to the center of his chest, and Dongmin's eyes immediately drop to the tanned, exposed skin. He swallows and moves to the sink so he can wash his hands, hoping he doesn't look as pathetic as he feels.

Jaehyun appears at his side as Dongmin is rinsing the soap off a few moments later. Dongmin catches his eyes in the mirror and Jaehyun's hand finds his waist again, this time from behind, and his lips ghost across the side of Dongmin's neck. "Wh—Jaehyun," Dongmin shivers, "What are you doing?"

Jaehyun laughs softly, hot against Dongmin's skin. "Just enjoying the moment."

Against his own better, wiser judgment, his head tips to the side, allowing Jaehyun's mouth more room. His teeth scrape gently over the side of his throat, merely a suggestion of a bite, and Dongmin's entire body reacts, a small whine leaving his mouth. Jaehyun's fingers tighten against is hip. Dongmin turns off the faucet.

"Jaehyun, someone could…" he trails off. Shuts his mouth. Who is he kidding, he doesn't really give a fuck if someone walks in at this point, he wants Jaehyun to keep going. He wants Jaehyun. He's anything but chill and normal. He turns around in the other mans arms and kisses him, hard, Dongmin's still wet hands threading through the hair at the back of his head.

Jaehyun makes a surprised noise, but he doesn't falter, kissing him back and pulling him closer to his front until they're pressed together. Dangerous. This is so fucking dangerous, for too many reasons to name, and yet Dongmin feels compelled to keep it going; he kisses him and kisses him and kisses him until his lips go numb, and when Jaehyun breaks it, it isn't to stop completely, but to move his mouth down Dongmin's jaw and back to his neck. This time, he does bite, sucking a mark onto his skin. His eyes flutter; the feeling of Jaehyun's teeth dragging against his neck, sucking the overheated skin into his mouth, tongue laving over the mark, it's good. It's too good.

Dongmin moans and then, finally, he lightly pushes at Jaehyun's shoulders.

"Jesus, we're—I'm gonna get hard, we gotta stop."

Jaehyun wilts a little, but he looks like he understands. He looks beautiful. His hair is messy from Dongmin's fingers, lips swollen, pupils blown wide. He presses one last fleeting kiss to Jaehyun's mouth before they break away completely.

"Dongmin," he says, deadly serious. "I am hard."

"Oh my god," Dongmin snorts when he looks down. Sure enough, Jaehyun's straining the fabric of his pants. The absolutely dastardly, whorish thought that pops into Dongmin's head first is that Jaehyun looks a bit bigger than he anticipated. He almost wants to slap himself for his own depravity.

He wants to touch him. Dongmin wants to touch him so damn badly— but not here. Not like this, when his mind is still a bit murky from the intoxication, but for a moment, he really does consider dropping to his knees in the middle of the damn restaurant bathroom.

"Later…if you want me to, I can help you. If you wait."

"Help me.." Jaehyun's eyebrows raise. "Ah—yeah, I can wait, of course," he says quickly, fumbles over his words. "But you…you don't have to do anything you don't want to."

Dongmin brushes his hands down the front of his shirt, even if they're mostly dry by now. His heart is still reacting from all of it, his face warm. "I wouldn't, if I didn't want to. I wouldn't even offer."

Jaehyun relaxes a bit. Adjusts his pants. "That's true, you are stubborn."

"Hey," Dongmin protests, but it's weak, he knows Jaehyun's right.

"I should, um…I've been in here longer, I should leave first."

Dongmin gives him a look. "We very clearly look like we were just making out, Jaehyun. There's no reason to stagger our exits."

He glances at himself in the mirror and winces— on the side of his neck is a reddish purple bruise, blooming across his skin like watercolors saturating paper. Jaehyun's staring at it too. He looks proud.

"Yeah, you're right—let's go then."

They do in fact get teased when they return to the table, but the conversation moves on notably fast. Maybe Dongmin shouldn't be surprised at the casualness, but it does grate on him a bit. The whole point of being in a fake relationship with Jaehyun in the first place was to shock their friends, and prove a damn point to Donghyun, and now everyone seems to be adjusting to Dongmin-and-Jaehyun as a concept a little too easily.

Dinner wraps up. Sanghyuk leans over to whisper something in Woonhak's ear that makes his entire face do a funny, twisty thing, and then they're excusing themselves. Dongmin would tease them, if he had the want to. Sungho says something about being tired, and Donghyun says he wants to check out one of the other indoor pools, so soon enough it's just him and Jaehyun. Again. It's late, so there's not a whole lot to do, but-

"Do you wanna take a walk?"

Dongmin looks; Jaehyun is peering out one of the floor to ceiling hotel windows, out towards the ocean. He appears contemplative, but not necessarily in a bad way. "A walk?"

"Yeah, along the beach? If it's not too cold.."

"Okay," Dongmin says easily. "Why not?"

It's not too cold, it turns out. It's still warm, a little humid, but with a nice breeze. Even by the shore, it's just peaceful, tepid air and the smell of saltwater. Their arms keep brushing as they walk, and Dongmin is tired of pretending like it doesn't give him shivers. His fingers tighten where he's holding onto the heels of his shoes, carrying them so his bare feet can wade through the sand.

"My head feels clearer now, doesn't yours?" Jaehyun asks. He pauses his steps, looks out towards the horizon where the inky sky meets the water. The moon makes the ripples sparkle, and it's mirrored in Jaehyun's pupils tenfold.

Dongmin peers at him incredulously, "What was making your head feel unclear?"

Jaehyun looks at him then, features visible but gently shadowed, painted in the muted blue hues reflected by the sea. His eyes flicker across Dongmin's face, the faintest smile pulling at the left corner of his mouth. "The alcohol, probably…"

The back of Dongmin's neck tingles and so do the tips of his fingers. He can't remember the last time he felt like this, giddy, euphoric at the idea that he could get to kiss someone again.

Dongmin falls in love easily. He always has; he falls hard for someone, and his entire world view becomes about them, and then one of two things happens— it either doesn't go anywhere, so one day the feelings just.. start to leave, or it does go somewhere, and then it doesn't work out.

Historically, Dongmin's kinda bad at relationships. It's not for a lack of trying, but… he is stubborn.

If he thinks about it too hard, he thinks that maybe these feelings in his chest regarding Jaehyun aren't exactly new. He wonders if maybe they've always been there, or at least for some time, and perhaps he just didn't want to see it. What if Woonhak is right? What if Dongmin's just always been too afraid?

"You don't look like your mind is clearer," Jaehyun breaks his stream of consciousness, just like that, a thread pulled taught until it snaps.

"I'm getting there," Dongmin says quietly. He just hopes he sounds at least somewhat convincing.

Jaehyun studies him for a moment. All Dongmin can hear is the ocean and his own breathing. Jaehyun reaches out, his fingers curling around Dongmin's wrist and then they trail down, over his palm. He laces their hands together and squeezes. "I wanna feel the water."

"Okay," Dongmin agrees.

They leave their shoes in the sand, and their phones, wallets— the beach is empty, so it doesn't feel like a risk to leave them there. The water is a little cold, but it actually feels like respite from the thick, muggy air. They walk close enough that the waves start to lap at their ankles, and Jaehyun doesn't drop his hand. There's no one around. No one to preform for, just like in the bathroom. There's no reason for them to be acting this way, and yet neither of them stop it. Neither of them think to ask the other what exactly it is that they're doing.

When Dongmin looks out far enough, the sky and the ocean blend together. It becomes just dark, like a boundless void. Maybe it shouldn't feel so comforting— but it does. Jaehyun squeezes his hand again and then releases; Dongmin might worry he did something wrong, but then he sees what Jaehyun is doing. He steps forward once and then lowers to the ground, feet splayed in front of him, back meeting the sand. He exhales, and Dongmin watches at the tide rushes forward, submerging Jaehyun's legs, but getting smaller, just barely touching the underside of his arms as it thins out.

"Your entire back is gonna be soaked."

Jaehyun closes his eyes, smiling. "It feels nice. Peaceful," one of his eyes opens, just one. "Join me?"

Fuck it.

He winces when the waves first kiss his thighs, a small jolt to his system. Still, it does feel kind of nice— so he lays back, parallel with Jaehyun, and sure enough the water creeps up his back, stopping right between his shoulder blades. He shivers. He doesn't want to close his eyes; he looks to his right, and there Jaehyun is. Dongmin admires the bridge of his nose, and the roundness of his cheeks, and the way his lips look perfect when they rest like this. Dongmin falls in love easily, but something about this feels different. It is different.

 

 

There was a time, on one of their precious friend group vacations, that Dongmin thought there might be something there.

They had gone skiing over winter break a few years back, at this massive lodge; the rooms were tiny, but they all had their own, and Dongmin isn't very good at skiing, but it was still a fun time. Jaehyun lucked out, and his room ended up being one of the only ones with a fireplace.

Everyone else went to bed, and Dongmin went to Jaehyun's room. They made shitty instant hot cocoa and sat on the floor in front of the fire, and Dongmin felt it. A little glint in his chest that seemed to pulse and flicker as the warm toned light painted Jaehyun's face.

He's always found Jaehyun attractive, even before they were friends— he has eyes, after all, and an attraction to men, so of course he could take note of his handsome features. But that night, beside the fire, Jaehyun dressed in a massive sweater and his nose still pink from the cold, Dongmin felt something. Something deeper, and complicated, and scary.

Jaehyun had looked up at him; the flames curled and thumped in the reflections of his eyes like a beating heart, and when he smiled, Dongmin's own practically leapt out of his chest.

It made heat form between his ribs, thick and heavy like molten lava. The first spark.

That was the first time.

 

 

It's late when they make it back into the hotel room. Though they're sober now, they're both still covered in sand and their clothing is saturated with sea water. Dongmin is pretty sure they dripped down the hallway, but they were too giggly and talkative to care.

"You can shower first," Dongmin says, and he means it at a kind gesture, even if the idea of standing in these clothes and waiting to clean off sounds genuinely terrible.

Jaehyun is already stripping off his shirt in the bathroom doorway. "No that's—we're both soaked, we should just shower together," he says it so simply, so casually, like it isn't kind of a crazy fucking thing to offer. "It'll save us time, and we can get to bed faster."

Dongmin should say no. He knows himself, if he gets in this situation, with Jaehyun, he won't be able to stop himself. His want will overcome him.

The smart, safe thing to do would be to say no. He doesn't.

The water is warm and it feels like heaven. The shower head is one of the ones that's mounted to the ceiling, so it's easy enough for them to both stand halfway in the stream. Dongmin's sure his entire face is red— he's never been this close to a naked Myung Jaehyun before, and surely not after a day like they've had.

He's trying not to be too obvious, but there's just so much skin on display. Jaehyun's hair is all pushed back out of his face, water rolling down his face and his chest and his stomach and— Dongmin snaps his eyes back up so he can't look at his dick. Don't just stare at his dick, he tells himself. Don't be stupid.

"This hotel soap is amazing. Maybe we can call downstairs for more and take it home," Jaehyun's smiling when Dongmin meets his eyes, his hands rubbing over the bar of soap.

"Yeah? It's that good?"

He hopes Jaehyun ignores the fact that Dongmin's showered with it already. It's bullshit, and they both know it, he just hopes Jaehyun ignores it.

Jaehyun's smile grows. "Mhm. Here—" he takes Dongmin's hand and presses the bar against his palm, sud-covered fingers smoothing across his knuckles. Even the simple contact feels too much. Too intimate, too sweet, way too close to something Dongmin craves.

"Jaehyun.." he begs. What he's pleading for, he doesn't know. More space? Less, probably. Definitely. So much less.

"Dongmin," he replies in a similar tone. Jaehyun starts to rub the soap bar over Dongmin's hands, then up his arms. He straightens them to make it bit easier, folding under the easy warmth of Jaehyun's eyes. "Is this okay?"

"Yes," Dongmin says easily. Even just the idea of Jaehyun stopping makes a viscerally needy feeling vibrate in his skull. Jaehyun's scrubs over the soap until his hands are covered in suds, and then he sets it aside. His touch meanders across Dongmin's shoulders, thumbs rubbing over his skin in small circles. Then they move inwards, over Dongmin's chest, fingertips only lightly pressing down but it's enough to light his body on fire.

When Jaehyun's touch wanders downwards, past his ribcage and over his stomach, Dongmin has a physical reaction. His back bows, pushing into Jaehyun's touch— when he looks at Jaehyun's face, Dongmin finds the older is watching his own hands carefully, as if he can't quite believe what he's doing himself.

Soapy fingertips become featherlight on Dongmin's hips, and unfortunately, much to his detriment, arousal settles hot in his gut. "Jaehyunie," he exhales, and his own hands reach out, grabbing onto his shoulders.

"Fuck, Dongmin," Jaehyun mutters, "All I wanna do is touch you. I spent all day thinking about it.."

"Really?" he asks, breathless.

"Yes."

Dongmin shivers. "Say more— when? When did you want to touch me?"

Jaehyun looks at him in the eyes now and grabs onto his waist. Really grabs. "Over breakfast, when you put your hand on my back. At the beach when you were sweating. When you started getting tipsy and your cheeks got all pink," he pulls Dongmin closer gently. He looks so earnest— Dongmin is hanging on to his every word. "And especially when we took our walk. You look beautiful in the moonlight, Dongminnie. You look beautiful now."

Dongmin can't help it, he really can't. He knows what it means to want this, to curl his hand around the nape of Jaehyun's neck and dip his head down to kiss him. He knows what it means that even though their lips are wet, Jaehyun's mouth is like an oasis, that this feels infinitely different than any of the kisses they've shared.

He doesn't worry about it being too much anymore, not right now. Possessed by a rare surge of confidence and his own deisire, he pushes Jaehyun's lips apart with his tongue and tangles his fingers in his hair— Jaehyun kisses back, tightens his hold on his waist. His mouth is pliant but his grip is firm and the whole thing makes Dongmin so dizzy he could die.

Dongmin's insatiable. Ravenous. He gently presses Jaehyun against the tiled shower wall, only part of him remaining in the stream of water. Jaehyun's arms snake around his waist, palms splaying across the small of his back. Dongmin's hips twitch forward and their cocks press together and Jaehyun moans.

"Woah-" Jaehyun frantically breaks the kiss but he doesn't push Dongmin back. "Hey, are you sure—we don't have to-"

"Myung Jaehyun," Dongmin cuts him off. "I want to."

Jaehyun glances across his face as if he's trying to make sure Dongmin's telling the truth. Dongmin drops a hand from his hair and instead moves it down, trailing his touch down the center of Jaehyun's sternum and down over his tummy. It makes him twitch, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip.

"Can I touch you..?"

Jaehyun nods. "Yes, you—yeah, please."

The corner of Dongmin's mouth twitches into a smile. He wraps a hand around Jaehyun's cock and kisses him again. Jaehyun moans his name into his mouth, breathy and pretty, slowly growing harder against Dongmin's palm. "You know what I wanted to do in the restaurant bathroom earlier, but couldn't?"

"Hm?" Jaehyun hums, his eyes a bit more unfocused than they were just a few seconds ago.

Dongmin settles down carefully, a hand braced on the tiled wall, his other wrapping again around Jaehyun's cock. He looks up at him, through his lashes, and Jaehyun already seems affected. He swallows, and his chest rises and falls dramatically with every inhale and exhale. Dongmin doesn't feel as nervous about this as he maybe should— at least he knows he's good at this.

The tip of his tongue pokes out to tease over Jaehyun's cock head, slowly, tasting just to taste. Jaehyun shudders and he slumps a bit against the shower wall; they're lucky this place is so bougie, because there's built in bars to protect the soap and hotel brand shampoo and conditioner, so Jaehyun has something to hold onto to avoid slipping.

Dongmin allows himself to take his time. He mouths along the side of Jaehyun's cock, not quite pressing kisses, but still open-mouthed and heavy. Jaehyun is staring down at him, wide eyed, every blink fast as if he doesn't want to miss a thing. There's still sparse suds of soap dripping down Jaehyun's body, his chest and his sides and his hips. Some of the soap gets caught and clings to the dark wisps of hair above his cock.

"Dongminnie," Jaehyun groans softly when Dongmin's lips finally close around him. He hums in response, and he knows Jaehyun can feel it because his body jerks. The stretch of his lips around him is everything Dongmin's been needing— he swirls his tongue around the head, starts to ease himself further down his length.

He's kind of the perfect size. Not too big, so Dongmin doesn't think he'll have to deal with his jaw locking up, but he fits so nicely in his mouth, a unique type of heaviness on his tongue. Dongmin takes him deeper, until the head is snug against the back of his throat— he chokes, but just a little, and he's able to steady himself by breathing through his nose.

"Oh my god," Jaehyun tips his head back, thudding gently against the wall. "Your mouth.."

At the words, Dongmin moans, he can't help it; the praise goes straight to his own dick. It also makes him want to do even better. He hollows his cheeks, swallows around him. A hand settles on his head— not grabbing his hair, just resting on the top of his skull, and part of Dongmin wishes Jaehyun would take the locks in his fingers and pull.

Dongmin likes sucking dick. He's not ashamed to admit it, now that he's more comfortable with his sexuality and all, he genuinely just enjoys it. He likes the taste, the weight, the way it makes people fall apart. He likes the way Jaehyun's eyebrows knit together, the way his mouth falls open, the way his knuckles go white where he's grasping the bar to his side. Dongmin bobs his head, sucks on the tip, pulls off just long enough to lick up and down the shaft, and then swallows him down again.

Jaehyun isn't loud, necessarily, but he's not silent either. His noises are heady and desperate and strained, and Dongmin is obsessed with everything that leaves his mouth. He starts to taste more— the vaguely salty, bitterness against his tongue that makes it clear Jaehyun's close.

"Dongmin," Jaehyun grunts, "I'm—I'm gonna-"

Dongmin pulls off, his hand pumping over Jaehyun's dick, lips still just an exhale away from the tip. "Go on, Jaehyunie," he pleads through the gruffness in his throat. He swallows the rest of his shame and asks for what he wants. "Come on my face."

Jaehyun gasps, and bucks his hips, and he obeys. Warmth lands on Dongmin's lips, his outstretched tongue, a bit on his cheek. Some of it ends up on his forehead, dripping down his temple, and Jaehyun watches, owlish. "Fuck."

Dongmin swallows what he can and licks his lips for more. Insatiable. No shame.

"Good?" Dongmin asks, and he knows he sounds pathetic, and still he doesn't care. Jaehyun reaches a hand out, thumb brushing over what's currently slipping down his cheek.

"So good," Jaehyun smiles. "Can I help you stand?"

Dongmin's knees wobble a bit, but he manages to get up just fine. He rinses the rest of his face off under the shower stream and then Jaehyun's hands are on him, arms wrapped around him from behind in a very similar manner to how they were earlier in the bathroom— though this time, it's slick palms against bare skin, and Dongmin's already so turned on that he feels crazy. He's immediately leaning into Jaehyun's touch.

Jaehyun gets a hand around his dick and Dongmin's brain switches off. Quite literally, he stops thinking; instead, he presses closer, lets Jaehyun get him off slowly and lavishly. He thinks he feels Jaehyun mark him more, gnawing at Dongmin's neck and shoulders like a dog with a bone. It feels good. He likes feeling like he belongs to Jaehyun, even if it's circumstantial, even if he won't have it forever.

He comes with a gasp of Jaehyun's name, and it gets washed down the drain, the hands on his body turning much more careful and almost, though it does funny things to Dongmin's heart to admit, loving.

Out of the shower, Jaehyun passes him a towel and then dries himself off, wordless, but not necessarily uncomfortable. Their wet, sandy clothes stay in the corner of the bathroom, and they change into pajamas once they're all dry. Dongmin's chest feels tight.

Jaehyun yawns as he pads out to the bedroom— he isn't looking at him, not in his eyes at least. Did something change? Did Dongmin fuck up?

The switch was so sudden that it's giving Dongmin whiplash.

Jaehyun flops in bed and stretches his arm out to flick off his bedside lamp. Dongmin's is still on, so the room is only half as bright. "I hope you sleep well, Dongminnie," Jaehyun says quietly, pulling his comforter up to his chest. Why does it feel like Dongmin's lungs are filled with sand?

"Yeah," he gulps. His own heartbeat echoes loudly in his ears. Stupid. "You too."

 

 

Two hours since Jaehyun fell asleep and Dongmin is still, painfully conscious. The air conditioner whirs in a tone that makes his head feel too heavy, the air is too cold, under his blankets is too hot. The room is gray, quiet, liminal.

He sits up. It's too dark to see Jaehyun well, he's merely a vague mound under his comforter. Every once and a while, he snores softly, and Dongmin has to pretend like being reminded of his presence isn't causing him to want to literally explode. Dongmin throws his legs over the side of the bed and stands, padding towards the bathroom.

He doesn't wanna turn the light on, but he can still somewhat see himself in the mirror. He stares at himself for too long, until his eyes sting and he resents standing up in the first place. Enough, he thinks. Stop being pathetic.

Dongmin shoves him and Jaehyun's still soaking, sandy clothes into the hotel-provided laundry hamper. He might as well do something productive, while he loses his damn mind.

The lights in the hallway make Dongmin's eyes hurt— he has the hamper balanced on his hip, his keycard in the other. He didn't even bring his phone, he's so out of it.

The laundry units are on the second floor. It's a big room, just right outside the elevator, framed with vending machines and a wall of washers and dryers. He sets the hamper down and tries to open the top to one of the washing machines, and it's not until then he realizes he forgot coins.

Is he fucking stupid? His eyes sting. He grips the edge of the washer so hard his knuckles start to tremble. What the fuck is going on and how did this get away from him? He was supposed to have a handle on this, it was supposed to be a joke and now his brain feels like it's being thrown around in a wind tunnel.

"…Are you good?"

Dongmin's head snaps up and to the left. Woonhak is standing in the doorway, rumbled bills in his hand, looking half asleep. Dongmin blinks back the tears before they can fall. "What—what are you doing down here?"

Woonhak steps forward, his slippers making soft dragging sounds against the floor. He holds up the wad of money, "I'm grabbing snacks…Sanghyuk wanted something sweet."

"Ah," Dongmin tries to seem interested, but he just sounds watery and pitiful even to his own ears.

"So, you um— you doing laundry?"

Dongmin feels like a kid. He feels childish, under the fluorescent lights with Woonhak studying him like he already knows something is wrong. He probably does— he knows Dongmin far too well. "I was. I forgot fucking quarters."

"How many do you need? I have uh, three?"

"Just two," Dongmin frowns. "You don't have to though, I shouldn't—I should have just fucking remembered but it's like I'm allergic to thinking ahead."

He knows right away that it was too much. Too honest, too easy to see right through him. Woonhak steps forward.

"Woah, it's okay.. Here, I brought enough money in bills, I probably wouldn't have even used the quarters, I just grabbed everything in my wallet…" he hands the coins out, and when Dongmin doesn't take them, he inserts them into the machine himself, and the washer lid unlocks.

"…Thanks," Dongmin mutters. More tears fog his vision but he refuses to let them fall— it would feel like a loss, if he did. He knows Woonhak sees them anyway, that he can tell what kind of edge Dongmin is teetering on. He helps Dongmin move the clothes into the washer, and turns it on for him after too. He doesn't say anything after, but leans against the surface and gives him a moment. "Woonhak, I… I'm so out of my depth."

Woonhak tilts his head. He stays quiet, still, like he's trying to allow Dongmin the chance to think. When the silence stretches, he speaks softly. "Whatever it is, you can always talk to me. I always want to be there for you— I tell Jaehyun this all the time, but just because I'm younger doesn't mean I can't give good advice!"

Dongmin smiles weakly. He reaches out and settles a hand on Woonhak's shoulder, tugging him in for a hug. He lets himself get smaller in Woonhak's arms, exhales slowly as a hand starts to gently rub at his back. "I know, Hakkie. You know you're my favorite, right?"

Woonhak snorts. "Yeah, I know."

They stand in silence for a moment. Dongmin traces idle patterns on the lid of the washing machine.

"Do you… wanna talk about?"

Dongmin sighs softly. "I… kinda can't. I want to, it's just… the situation is so complex and fucking stupid and it—I just-"

"Hey, that's alright," Woonhak's voice is gentle, and he rubs across Dongmin's back in soothing motions. "You don't have to go into specifics. I can just be here, yeah? As your best friend?"

Dongmin smiles again, small, but thankful. "Yeah. Okay."

Woonhak does end up grabbing some snacks from the vending machine. He tells Dongmin he'll be right back and returns ten minutes later, empty handed except for two additional quarters. "For the dryer," he says when Dongmin gives him an incredulous look. Then he sits right next to where Dongmin's plopped himself on the floor, and starts playing a game on his phone, screen angled to ensure Dongmin can see it.

He leans into Woonhak's shoulder and mindlessly watches him tap away at his phone and weirdly enough, it does make him feel calmer. He can't find it in himself to admit to Woonhak what exactly it is he's struggling with— not now, not when it's still ongoing. Still, his presence alone soothes away the ache in his chest, at least for the present.

He gives him another hug when the elevator dings back to their floor. He squeezes Dongmin tight, and tells him to sleep well, and that he hopes he'll feel better. Dongmin's arms wobble only a little bit when he picks the laundry basket back up.

Jaehyun is still asleep when Dongmin renters their room. It's just as dark and quiet as he left it. He leaves the hamper between their beds and crawls under his covers, clutching one of the pillows to his chest. He drifts off, and dreams of being a braver person.

 

 

Sunday

 

 

There's a pile of neatly folded laundry on the foot of Dongmin's bed when he wakes up. He rubs at his eyes and lifts himself to sit up— Jaehyun is sat on his own bed, folding his own shirt. It's not just the things Dongmin washed last night, but more of their laundry. Dongmin wonders if Jaehyun's been up long.

"Hey, morning," Jaehyun greets him with a small smile. He sets his shirt to side and slides his hands down his thighs. He seems almost nervous.

Dongmin is still squinting, adjusting to the morning light that emits a yellowish glow onto everything it touches. "Good morning…what time is it?"

"Uhh-" Jaehyun leans towards the bedside table and taps on his phone screen. It lights up and he grimaces. "Only nine..it feels later."

Dongmin digs his fingers into the back of his neck to get out the stiffness and grabs his own phone— no messages from the group chat, yet. Everyone else must still be asleep. He puts it down and looks back to the other. "Hey, Jaehyun.."

"Hm?"

He shifts, moving to sit on the edge just like Jaehyun is, a mirror of his posture across the short gap between their beds. "Can I ask you something?"

Jaehyun nods, chewing on the inside of his cheek. "Course."

His heartbeat pounds against his ribcage. "Do you regret yesterday?"

"What about yesterday?"

Dongmin huffs, "You know what I mean, don't bullshit me," he holds Jaehyun's eye contact, even as his lashes flutter. "Do you regret what we did? Kissing me, touching me, letting me touch you?"

Jaehyun's fingers visibly twitch in his lap. "No— no Dongmin, I don't regret it."

Not good enough. He rises, moving closer, until he's standing between Jaehyun's legs and the older has to tilt his head back to peer up at him. "Why are you acting so weird, then? If you don't regret it?"

"I thought—" Jaehyun swallows, his jaw tightens. "I thought I made you uncomfortable.."

Dongmin exhales slowly as his hand meets Jaehyun's shoulder. He straddles him, slowly enough that if Jaehyun wanted, he could stop him. Jaehyun doesn't even look like he thinks about it. Instead, Fingers grasp at Dongmin's hips as his knees meet the mattress. "Well, I'm telling you, you didn't."

Jaehyun's looking at him with these big, puppy-like eyes, and all Dongmin wants to do is kiss him. He doesn't know if Jaehyun feels the same way he does exactly, but he does know that Jaehyun wouldn't have let everything that went down in the shower yesterday to happen if he didn't want to. That has got to count for something.

"I'm sorry," Jaehyun whispers— he clears his throat, repeats himself, "I'm sorry, Dongmin. I shouldn't have gotten so weird with you out of nowhere, I just..I got scared. And that's not an excuse! Not at all, I just really, I didn't mean-"

"Shush," Dongmin chuckles. His pointer finger urges Jaehyun's jaw up, just enough so that he can brush their noses together. Jaehyun's hands on his hips tighten, slipping around to his back, one inching down like he wants to grab him lower. Wordlessly, Dongmin curls his fingers around Jaehyun's wrist and guides his hand over his ass, their faces so close that Jaehyun's features start to blur.

Jaehyun is the one that closes the gap. He presses their mouths together like he needs the air from Dongmin's lungs, and he kisses Dongmin's breathless. Dongmin tangles a hand in Jaehyun's hair, holding onto the smooth, soft locks, his other palm sliding down Jaehyun's chest. He pushes, and Jaehyun goes back willingly, his back hitting the mattress.

It's overwhelming; languid like the morning but heavy enough to make Dongmin's entire body feel hot. Jaehyun grabs at his ass and lightly traces up his spine and Dongmin shivers. He tastes like toothpaste and Dongmin hopes his breath doesn't smell bad, but if it does, Jaehyun doesn't show it, he still kisses him like it's a privilege to do so.

Dongmin could lay like this forever, idyllically memorizing the shape of Jaehyun's lips, pressed so close that he can't tell where he ends and Jaehyun begins. He wants to bathe in the feeling, let it wash over him and cleanse him of everything mucky and hazy. He wants to-

Ding!

Jaehyun stiffens under him. Dongmin whines, knees twitching on either side of Jaehyun's hips, "No—no, absolutely not-"

Ding! Ding!

Jaehyun laughs against his mouth and breaks the kiss. "I think plans are being made."

Dongmin makes a 'tch' sound and purses his lips together. When he speaks, his tone is dry and annoyed. "What terrible, awful timing."

Reluctantly, he climbs off his lap and grabs his phone, passing Jaehyun's to him as he clicks his own screen on.

 

Sungho 9:17 a.m

↳ Hope everyone slept well and no ones hung over!

Would anyone like to join me for a hike? Feeling sporty!

Woonhak 9:17 a.m

↳ Sungho you srsly text like a middle aged woman sometimes

I'm down for a hike!!

Sanghyuk 9:18 a.m

↳ yeahhh not me.. i fear i'd rather do Anything else today

Donghyun 9:18 a.m

↳ i think there's a spa day in my future

Sanghyuk 9:18 a.m

↳ thaaat's more like it

 

 

Jaehyun laughs.

 

Jaehyun 9:19 a.m

↳ I think a hike sounds pretty nice!

Woonhak 9:19 a.m

↳ SAY LESS!!!!

 

Pathetically, Dongmin sighs. "I don't want to do anything today.."

Jaehyun gives him a smile and reaches out to gently brush back some of Dongmin's hair. "Why don't you go with Sanghyuk and Donghyun? A trip to the spa could be good for you, you're always talking about how your muscles ache."

Dongmin sighs again, louder, more dramatic, and it makes Jaehyun's smile grow. "I'd rather just stay here and kiss more, to be honest."

Jaehyun's lips twitch. He cradles Dongmin's face, fingers playfully squishing at his cheeks, and kisses him. Slow, sweet, breathtaking. When he leans back, Dongmin's cheeks feel warm and his stomach feels fluttery.

"Go relax, baby. I'll kiss you more when we're back together."

The pet name makes Dongmin's chest do a stupid flip, drop, turn thing. It's almost infuriating, how quickly it feels like Jaehyun's gotten a hold on his heart and unraveled it, studied its genetic makeup, laid him out bare. They leave for home tomorrow, this is their last full day of their trip, and Dongmin feels like he's dying.

 

Dongmin 9:24 a.m

↳ can i get in on that spa day?

 

 

 

 

The hotel spa is basically it's own resort. A woman greets them in the lobby and gives them each a robe and a key to a locker that they can store their clothes and items in after they change. Then, she gives them a quick run down of the amenities.

"Down the hall you'll find our hot tub wing with several themed rooms built for maximum relaxation; if the door is open it's free to use, if it's closed it means someone's already occupying it or it's being cleaned," she explains, motioning to a door at the very end of the hallway with big, golden handles. "On the left you'll find various labeled doors for our sauna's, steam rooms, and our fully updated gym. To the right, massage rooms, facials, and tanning beds. Under your stay, all things are covered, so go crazy! Our employees are everywhere so if you have any questions please holler! Enjoy!"

"Shit," Donghyun chuckles as she disappears back behind the lobby desk. "This place is too fucking nice."

Dongmin nods, "I feel like I'm not supposed to be here, like I'm undercover or something."

Sanghyuk snorts. "If you were undercover, saying it like that would be the stupidest thing you could do," he pushes the door open to the locker room. "I, for one, am itching to see what themes they have for their hot tubs."

Their lockers are all next to each other— Sanghyuk 122, Donghyun 123, and Dongmin 124. Unfortunately for Dongmin, the first thing he thinks of when he starts to open his, is that 124 is Jaehyun's birthday. December fourth. How embarrassing for him. He will literally never admit his own thoughts out loud.

Once they're changed into their robes and all their belongings are carefully tucked into their lockers, they return the keys to the lady at the desk. She takes their names down, and then they're free to explore the entirety spa. There's only a few hot tub rooms open, and Sanghyuk chooses the Japan themed one; Dongmin happens to be the last to enter, so he shuts the door behind them. The room is small, but immaculately decorated still.

The hot tub itself is in the center, glowing lights around the edges. The floor around it is stone, a walkway to the door to the tubs stairs. Rocks frame the cement, bamboo lining the walls and a waterfall fountain in the far corner. All the overhead lights are dim and warm, so the whole room feels cozy and inviting.

Dongmin whistles, "Can't believe I almost went on that hike.."

"Fuck a hike," Sanghyuk looks at them both with a grin. "This is how I like to vacation."

The water is perfect. Hot, gently bubbling, and scented like yuzu, faint citrus hitting his nose as he approaches. Dongmin eases himself in, and immediately he concedes that this was a fantastic idea. He groans and slumps against the hot tub wall, water up to his chest now and the heat pressing into his skin.

There's this quiet, barely audible background noise playing over the speakers. A bamboo flute is played along with the sound of gentle wind. Dongmin could sleep here, he really could.

"Hey Min, I've been wondering something.."

Great. Peace ruined.

Dongmin lifts a bit. Donghyun is looking at him— his dark hair is already wet, and Dongmin didn't even notice he'd dipped his head. "Yeah, go on."

"Did you always know you liked Jaehyun? Or did you like, just realize one day and that's when you made the move."

Dongmin worries a bit at his bottom lip. This is technically a question he could answer honestly, but does he really want to do that? He considers, humming like he's just mulling over the question. Maybe saying this now is actually a good way to work out this thoughts; plus, Donghyun always has good advice, even if he doesn't realize he's giving it.

"Honestly, I'm not sure when I realized. I don't think I always knew, but it's not like my feelings just… turned on," he pauses. He lifts his arms out of the water so he can lean his elbows on the edge of he tub, and he watches droplets fall from his hands to ripple across the surface of the bubbling water. "I think it was more like a gradual thing. Like, I hadn't even realized I had the feelings until…until they felt a little too big to ignore."

He can feel Sanghyuk's eyes on him, but Dongmin doesn't move to turn his head. He doesn't know what Woonhak was able to deduce from their talk yesterday, or if Sanghyuk even knows about any of it, but he doesn't wanna risk giving something away with his face.

Donghyun nods, a smile pulling at the side of his mouth. "You know…I kinda thought you were fucking with us at first, but…I dunno, I'm really happy for you guys," he says. He slumps further into the water until it touches his chin. "And, for the record, I'm proud of you. I'm glad you're letting yourself have something good."

It hits Dongmin right in his core. He blinks. Processes.

"Thank you," Dongmin responds. He swallows, and it feels like there's a lump in his throat that just won't go away. "Jaehyun is good."

It lingers. The words Donghyun had uttered echo and reverberate in his skull, long after they exit the hot tub. They're in the sauna an hour later, letting the steam sink into his skin, and he still hears it.

Let yourself have something good.

He supposes it's true that he, historically, doesn't really do that. He's used to pushing the good things away, because he thinks he doesn't deserve it, or because he thinks it's not meant for him. Now, he doesn't know if Jaehyun is meant for him, that feels like too much too soon, but he does know that Jaehyun is one of his favorite people in the world. He's passionate. Selfless. Kind. He's good— an inherent, deep goodness that runs all the way to Jaehyun's bones. He makes Dongmin laugh. He's there for Dongmin, even when he's stubborn.

Dongmin's muscles relax, but the tightness in his chest is still ever present.

They get ice cream after they wrap up at the spa. Sanghyuk tells them a story about Woonhak's new job; he got a gig recently as a teachers assistant for a high school music class, and it makes Dongmin happy to hear how well it's going. According to Sanghyuk, they might be moving in together, when Dongmin and Woonhak's lease is up early next year.

Dongmin's blood bubbles with something confusing. Maybe it's some sort of jealousy, or yearning— or maybe it's simply the idea that life could fall together in such a way and also be shared with someone. His imagination starts to wander as he eats his ice cream, conjuring up pictures that an earlier version of himself would be far too terrified to even allow himself to think up.

He starts to wonder how him and Jaehyun's life would be, if they were actually together for real. For once, he lets himself really, truly imagine it.

He imagines a front door leading into a charming entryway. Two pairs of keys hung on up hooks, shoes lined up by the door in a way that's tidy, but not perfect. The kitchen would have shiny counters and likely a few dishes unwashed in the sink because both him and Jaehyun tend to forget small chores like that, but it would never pile up too much. He imagines that the living room would be cozy— pillows and blankets on the couch and two mugs on the coffee table, maybe something matching, something cheesy, like a cat and a dog.

He thinks they'd spend hours there, on opposite ends of the couch. Dongmin imagines their legs tangled together, a movie on the T.V screen while they do separate things. Alone time together.

They'd go to work, their classes, everything they'd do separately, and then they'd come back home, back to each other.

Admittedly, the thought makes Dongmin giddy. He realizes then that he can see himself sharing a life with Jaehyun. Actually. Sharing a home, his time, his heart— he can see it, and he's willing, no matter how terrifying the prospect.

It's a realization that knocks the wind out of him.

All he can do, is just hope Jaehyun feels the same way. He hopes that however he feels about Dongmin, however he wants him, that it can maybe line up with Dongmin's own wants. Maybe, if he's lucky, they can be something for real.

 

 

Dongmin gets back to the hotel room and it's empty— he supposes the other boys are still on their hike.

He puts his stuff down and falls onto his bed, his heart going about a mile a minute. He wants Jaehyun. He craves him, having his hands on him, having him close. Being left alone in the hotel room is dangerous, all he can think about is how it felt to kiss Jaehyun, how it felt to have him in his mouth, how it felt to watch him come.

It's humiliating, what he does next. Arguably, one of the most embarrassing things he's ever done. Twenty minutes later and there's a chime from his phone.

Your DoorDash has arrived! Please see photo attached to see where your order was left.

The picture is the outside of his hotel room— that's convenienient, at least, so he only has to open the door and snatch the bag before his humiliation eats away at him. Inside the bag, a bottle of lube, and a box of condoms. Jesus Christ.

Despite his embarrassment by his own actions, he takes the lube into the shower with him. He opens himself up, slowly, makes sure he's prepped and clean and nicely stretched. By the time he's finished, dressed in only a bath robe and his hair still dripping, he hears the door being unlocked with a familiar bzzzz.

He rushes to stuff the condoms and lube bottle under the pillows on his bed and straightens up just as Jaehyun is walking in, the door clicking shut behind him.

Simply put, he looks hot. Sweat has soaked through the collar of his shirt, his skin especially sun-kissed, alluring like honey. "Hey," Jaehyun greets. "How was the spa?"

"Great," Dongmin answers. He's itching with anticipation, with the need to touch. He can be patient though— he will be. Or, he'll try. "The hot tub rooms are crazy. What about the hike?"

Jaehyun sighs softly, "Oh, it was amazing. The view from the nearby mountains is just insane, you can see the entire ocean, it feels like. My legs fucking hurt, though, I cannot keep up with Sungho when it comes to the sport shit." Dongmin watches him set his own things down and roll his neck to the side. "God, I need a bath…maybe I'll pretend like I'm in one of those hot tubs!"

Jaehyun is already walking to the bathroom before Dongmin can say anything. He hears the water start, and the tub fill, and fabric hit the floor. Then the water switches off, and Dongmin realizes he's been standing, stagnant and awkward.

He's either doing this or he's not. He's either going to be brave, and make a move, a real move, or he's going to chicken out and run away like he always does. Dongmin shuts his eyes and counts to ten. When he opens them, he moves.

He swallows down his pride and walks towards the bathroom door— luckily for him, Jaehyun hadn't even bothered to close it, just left it ajar. Maybe it's symbolic, maybe he just forgot.

Dongmin stands in the doorway, hovering at the threshold in a way that makes him feel kinda like an old fashioned vampire. 

His arms are tucked around himself. He still just has on the bathrobe, tied loosely around his waist, and it only goes to his mid thigh, so there's a lot more skin on display than he really had processed. He shifts his weight, clears his throat.

Jaehyun looks at him then, his eyebrows cocking up in mild surprise. “Uh, hi—do you need something, Dongmin?”

Dongmin presses his lips together, tracing his pointer finger up and down his opposite arm like he’s thinking. It’s too quiet. Dongmin hates moments like this, where everything is dependent on whether or not he's brave enough to actually do what he wants, but he didn't prep himself for nothing. He hasn't spent the last couple of days agonizing over whether or not it was okay to want Jaehyun this way for this to amount to him being a coward.

And Jaehyun just waits, albeit a bit awkwardly, as Dongmin fills his cheeks with air and slowly releases it, eyes cast to the floor.

“…Is the bath nice?” is what Dongmin lands on. Jaehyun squints, his lips twitching into a knowing smile. 

“It's lovely. Wanna join?” 

Dongmin scoffs and wrinkles his nose, but he still steps closer. “I just showered.” 

Jaehyun cranes his neck up at him. Dongmin is close enough to see into the water now, yet his eyes avoid the edges of Jaehyun’s body like he hasn’t had his cock so deep in his mouth that it touched his throat. “So what do you want, then?”

Dongmin looks at him finally, eyelashes batting twice before he wordlessly lowers to the ground, one hand braced on the edge of the tub. Jaehyun tilts his head in a silent question. Dongmin settles in a kneel, an arm draping over the porcelain; the tips of his fingers barely breach the surface, as if he’s just testing the waters temperature. He doesn't know why he's pretending like this isn't what he's here for— Jaehyun has to know. He's smiling like he knows. Dongmin shoves his sleeve up his arm with his free hand and dips down into the water.

Jaehyun’s breath hitches. Dongmin’s hand wraps around his soft cock, fingers tracing lackadaisically up and down like he has all the time in the world. Dongmin can't help but watch his own movements, eyeing the ripples in the water from every shift of his hand. 

“Dongminnie,” Jaehyun swallows and settles a wet hand against Dongmin’s forearm— he doesn't push him away, it just stays lightly resting there, thumb curling around his wrist. “You couldn’t even wait ‘til I was done?”

“Hmm,” his fingers tighten just slightly, thumb rubbing intently over the head of Jaehyun’s dick. The tips of his ears start to feel hot. “I would have waited, if you had just taken a shower.”

Jaehyun smiles, his eyes crinkling around the edges and it's so damn charming that Dongmin has to look away.

“I was just feeling like a bath today.”

“That’s fine.”

A small laugh bubbles from Jaehyun’s chest, and it fades off into a broken moan when Dongmin’s hand starts to move faster, stroking him to full hardness now under the water. It's a beautiful noise, even if it echoes against the bathrooms tiled walls, and Dongmin's starting to feel crazy again.

“Dongminnie,” Jaehyun repeats. He reaches up, urging Dongmin’s head to the side with two fingers on the slope of his jaw. “Why can’t you look at me?”

Dongmin falters for a moment, the confident strokes of his hand stagnating while his eyes widen. Jaehyun's looking at him with dark eyes, so intently that Dongmin nearly feels pinned by them. He could never truly hide, from a gaze like that. Not when it's him.

“You want me to look at you?” Dongmin asks. His tongue pokes out to wet his bottom lip. 

Jaehyun huffs out a small, breathy laugh. “Why wouldn’t I?”

He really doesn't know what to say to that. Dongmin exhales, his eyes fluttering, but he doesn’t look away. He starts to move his hand again, languid drags of his palm up and down Jaehyun’s cock. From the motion, his robe is becoming looser where it’s tied, a bit of it opening at Dongmin’s chest. Jaehyun glances, for just a second at the sliver of skin peeking out, before Dongmin is squeezing his cock just enough to make him gasp. 

“Hey,” he scolds softly. “If I have to look, so do you.”

Ha,” Jaehyun tips his head back against the tiled wall and he swallows again, his throat bobbing. Dongmin wants to eat him. “Sorry, baby, you're right.”

The corner of Dongmin’s mouth only barely resists pulling into a smile. Jaehyun moans softly when Dongmin picks up the pace again— water sloshes against the side of the tub and Jaehyun shifts, just slightly, a hand gripping the edge. 

“Feels good?” Dongmin prompts, his voice comes out soft but he's clearly affected. Jaehyun can definitely tell.

"Very good.."

"Good," Dongmin echoes, and then he stops. His hand leaves, as does his eye contact, and he pushes himself up until he's standing.

Jaehyun sputters, alarmed, looking up at Dongmin with trembling pupils. "What—you-"

"I want more," Dongmin says simply. "You—we can do more, when you're done with your bath."

And then he's leaving, trying not to smile when Jaehyun makes a strangled, confused noise behind him. Back in the main room, Dongmin climbs onto his bed and waits, antsy, legs carefully tucked together and the robe draped right over his thighs.

He doesn't have to wait long. He hears movement in the bathroom and he laughs when there's a curse huffed under his breath as Jaehyun stumbles into view. He has a towel haphazardly wrapped around his waist and he's still wet everywhere else, drops of water rolling down his body, familiar, but no less worthy of ogling.

Dongmin's entire face is hot. He looks Jaehyun in the eyes, but the moment he starts pulling on the tie of his robe, Jaehyun's gaze drops right to his hands. He doesn't speak, but watches as Dongmin undoes the bow around his waist— the robe opens, exposing so much to his eyes, but he doesn't move to take it off fully.

"Dongmin.."

"You can come here," Dongmin says, but it's not quite right— he licks his lips and then tries again. "I want you to come here."

Jaehyun moves to the side of the bed, until he's close, and then settles in beside Dongmin. There's still something unsure about his movements, some lingering hesitation, and he repeats his name like a prayer, "Dongmin.."

"What do you want right now? Tell me."

His expression is still complicated, but when Jaehyun speaks, it's earnest. Unmistakably honest. "I really want to kiss you."

Dongmin wants to move closer, but he can't. He needs to know, "How badly?"

Jaehyun looks desperate, squirming where he sits. "Very, incredibly badly— Dongmin you started jerking me off in the bath and then left I'm kinda spinning out here-"

"I know," Dongmin tries not to giggle. It was mean, he is aware, but he really can't help it. He's dizzy with his own wanting, but he needs Jaehyun to also make a move here. It has to be mutual. "Do it, Jaehyunie. If you want to, then do it. Take what you want."

Jaehyun searches his face, careful, thorough, and he seem to find something he was looking for because then he surges forward. His hand cradles the back of Dongmin's head and this kiss is night and day; it's messy and fueled by heat, water finally reaching a boil. Dongmin's robe falls as he loops his arms around Jaehyun's neck, the fabric slipping off his shoulders. His fingers slip across Jaehyun's back, bare skin, warm and damp.

"I wanna ride you," Dongmin mumbles against his lips, and then everything stops. Jaehyun pulls back, all wide eyed and ruddy cheeked.

"You…huh?"

Dongmin's everything flushes, his skin getting so warm that it feels like he's in direct sunlight. "I…I prepped. I wanna ride you."

One of Jaehyun's hands traces the collar of his bathrobe, fingers twisting absentmindedly in it as he considers. "Dongmin, are you sure? Sucking my dick is one thing, riding me is…"

"More serious?" Dongmin finishes for him, and when Jaehyun doesn't object, he continues. "I know. I want to, I really, really…" he sighs. There's no point in pretending like this is anything besides what it really is. "I want you."

Jaehyun is silent for a moment. He looks contemplative, overwrought. His eyebrows are drawn together and he's not quite frowning, but his expression is much more nuanced than just simply resting. He opens his mouth to speak, and then closes it again. Dongmin is going to explode.

"Myung Jaehyun," Dongmin says quietly. "Do you want me too?"

He nods quickly, "God, Dongmin, of course I do," he says, "I want you so badly, I-"

"Then what's the problem?" Dongmin interjects, interrupting, but he's not sorry. He's so viscerally uncomfortable right now— it's outside his nature to be assertive in what he wants, to chase something so openly. But he wants, and for once, he asks.

Jaehyun touches his face, cups his cheek. "There's no problem. I'm just—well, I'm scared."

He gets the feeling. "Do you think I'm not?"

Jaehyun offers him a smile. "Well, are you?"

"Terrified," Dongmin snorts. "I don't know what it means, or what it'll lead to, but I don't wanna ignore it…not anymore."

More silence. It stretches. The air conditioner hums. Jaehyun looks, and Dongmin wants.

"I don't want to ignore it either," Jaehyun says finally. Before Dongmin can respond, Jaehyun is kissing him again, his hands busy working to help drag Dongmin's robe off his arms. He makes quick work of it, and then he's getting closer. Kissing. Touching. Taking his time— he only breaks the kiss to look somewhat accosted, alarmed; "Oh fuck, I didn't bring lube.."

Sheepish, Dongmin shifts and reaches under the fluffy hotel pillows. He pulls out the lube, and the box of condoms, and foolishly hopes Jaehyun won't make a big deal out of it— unfortunately for him, a smirk finds the olders face almost immediately.

"Dongmin did you— did you buy these here? That's too big of a bottle to fly with—"

"Please shut up," Dongmin begs, shoving the items towards him like he can't bare to have them in his hands anymore.

Jaehyun's teeth are on full display as he takes them. Dongmin is fucking embarrassed, but he also doesn't have the energy care anymore. He watches Jaehyun untie the towel around his waist and drop it; he's still hard, and Dongmin watches him roll the condom on its zero shame for his gawking. He likes Jaehyun's dick, the size, the shape, the weight. He can't wait to experience it inside him, and he feels no shame for that either.

He watches Jaehyun empty some lube onto his fingers, carefully coating himself from head to hilt. It's clear he doesn't wanna hurt Dongmin, and it's cute, and also wholly unnessecary. Dongmin's in no mood for wasting time.

"On your back," Dongmin orders, and Jaehyun looks surprised for just a moment before he listens. Half propped against the pillows, he lays down, lazily stroking his cock while he gets comfortable. Dongmin straddles him, and Jaehyun chuckles.

"I've never seen you like this, Dongminnie."

Dongmin's never felt like this, either— desperate to this point, his own desire a physical force beneath his skin. "Yeah, yeah. You should feel special," Dongmin tells him. He wonders if Jaehyun knows how true it is.

Dongmin rises up on his knees and reaches behind him— his fingers guide Jaehyun's cock towards his hole, teasing the head against the ring of muscle that's still somewhat tacky with lube. Jaehyun looks beautiful like this, reclined against the mattress and dark eyed as he stares up at Dongmin like he hung the moon.

He sinks down slowly, and it hurts a bit; regardless of how careful and thorough he was with his prep, he hasn't bottomed in a while— (hasn't had sex, at all, in a while), and Jaehyun's cock stretches him so much more than his own fingers. A sharp whine startles from his throat when he bottoms out. It hurts, but it also feels good. Dull pain that blooms into aching pleasure.

Jaehyun waits. His body is stiff under the palms Dongmin's rests on his ribcage, his breath is heavy, but he stays completely still. His eyes are focused, looking up at Dongmin's face, lips parted. He wants to kiss him. He leans down, and it makes the angle change, shifting Jaehyun inside him, so when their mouths meet, Dongmin can't help but moan right into it.

Jaehyun's hands find the tops of Dongmin's thighs and his thumbs brush lightly over his skin— his touch feels adoring, sweeter than honey. It feels like something he's lucky to have, something that could change him forever.

Dongmin breaks the kiss when he gets more used to the stretch. He sits fully up again, making sure to take measured breaths. After a moment, he rocks his hips experimentally, and Jaehyun's hold on him tightens for just a second before it loosens again. "Hey," Dongmin objects. "You don't have to be so gentle. I'm not glass, I won't break."

"I don't think you're fragile, Dongminnie," Jaehyun assures him with a smile. "I just— I don't know what you like."

"Yet," Dongmin replies. It means more than the singular word can sum up. "I like if it hurts a little. You can hold me tighter.."

His own want feels big enough to crush him, but Jaehyun doesn't seem afraid of it. He doesn't shy away. He presses his fingers harder into Dongmin's flesh, drags his hands up until he can grope at his waist. "Okay, what else do you like?"

Dongmin rocks his hips again, just a small motion. "I—I like a lot.."

"Oh yeah?" Jaehyun's tone is teasing now, and it does make Dongmin's dick twitch. "Why don't you tell me?"

Dongmin huffs. His immediate instinct is to be a brat. Bitch a little, poke at Jaehyun until he snaps. He doesn't want to right now though, he wants to be good. He's trying to be good. He takes a deep breath,

"Alright, uhm…I like being told that I do well.."

"Praise?" Jaehyun smiles, "Well, I could've guessed that."

Dongmin's eyes narrow, "What does that mean?"

"Nothing!" He defends, still grinning. "It's just a bit obvious. It's cute."

Dongmin scoffs, pout forming. "If you don't stop I will get off of you-"

"No, no— I'm sorry," Jaehyun chuckles, and then his tone drops, gets a little more earnest and a lot more intimate. "I don't want you going anywhere. You feel so good, Dongmin."

He can't hide his reaction. It's a physical thing, a tremor moving through his body like an earthquake, precum leaking onto Jaehyun's stomach. He huffs out a curse, but it's barely audible, more like an exhale.

Jaehyun doesn't stop there. His touch wanders up, over Dongmin's waist. "I can't believe you got yourself ready for me like this…you're so beautiful, my Dongmin, how are you even real?"

Everything feels warm. The want that consumes him has sprouted into need, a raw need so deep it shakes him right to his core. Dongmin starts to bounce, up and down in weak, needy movements. It makes Jaehyun groan. "Please," Dongmin mutters, "Keep going.."

"You're like an angel," Jaehyun starts, and his voice is more strained now that Dongmin is actually riding him. "Everytime we kiss, I can't believe how perfect it feels. I can't believe I get to have you this way, that I get to feel you, to taste you, to fuck you-" Dongmin tightens around him and Jaehyun's words melt into a moan. "Fuck, Dongmin—"

"Please," Dongmin begs. His thighs are already feeling weaker, but it feels good, so good, he refuses to stop. The sounds he's making are far more pathetic than he usually allows himself to be, but that could be said about a lot of things when it comes to Jaehyun. "Hmnng.."

"Pretty thing," Jaehyun's grip on his hips returns, this time helping guide his movements, driving Dongmin down further on his cock. "You—hah—you take me so well…you were made for me.."

"Fuck-" Dongmin wraps a hand around himself, jerking himself off quickly and urgently. Every shift results in a moan or a whine and Dongmin can't even help it, it all just pours out of his mouth in unstoppable waves. "Jaehyunie, pl—please, I'm so close-"

"Go on, baby," Jaehyun purrs, "You can come, I wanna see you."

Dongmin shudders, his head tilting back and his eyes slipping closed. And he finishes just like that, fist tight around his dick and his walls squeezing Jaehyun's cock until the older moans, nails biting into the skin of Dongmin's hips. He's already made a mess of Jaehyun's stomach, but he wants more.

"Inside," Dongmin pleads, voice quiet and fucked out but still firm enough to be an order, "Keep going, I—I want it.."

Jaehyun curses. He looks positively ruined, desperate. He doesn't say anything about the fact that he can't technically come inside, he just fucks up into him, chasing his own release with fervor. He's going so hard and fast that Dongmin has to hold onto him with one hand and the headboard with the other. He's oversensitive and it aches and Dongmin wants it to never end.

When Jaehyun finishes, he presses as far into him as he can, hands slipping around behind his back and pulling him closer. He mouths at his throat, making soft whining noises against his skin, and Dongmin damn near gets hard again from it.

"God," Jaehyun says after a minute or two of heavy panting. "That…"

Dongmin laughs, weak and breathy. "Yeah. Good."

He finally climbs off of Jaehyun's lap, much to his chagrin, and bites back a whimper when his cock slides out of him and leaves him achingly empty. Jaehyun is quick to help Dongmin lay down, pressing a kiss to his temple as he stands. He removes the condom with a quiet hiss from the stimulation. "I'm gonna grab a wash cloth and some water, yeah? You thirsty?"

"Mmm," Dongmin nods, and fuck his muscles hurt— you'd think after the spa day he had that it would be easier to exert some energy without being so sore, but no such luck. Still, it's not terrible, and it's worth it a thousand percent for the experience himself and Jaehyun shared. He'd do it again, actually, in a heart beat.

Jaehyun returns to the bed moments later with a wet wash cloth and a bottle of water from the mini fridge. He cleans Dongmin off carefully, until his skin is free of sweat and his own release. Dongmin drinks some water, and then makes Jaehyun drink some too.

He's about to (somewhat seriously) suggest that they take a nap when his phone dings.

 

Sanghyuk 6:22 p.m

huuungryyy…

 

Dongmin laughs and tilts his phone screen so Jaehyun can see.

 

Dongmin 6:22 p.m

↳ dinner? there's a restaurant next door we haven't tried yet

Woonhak 6:23 p.m

↳ PLEASE!! I was about to start eating the drywall

Dongmin 6:23 p.m

↳ ?

Sanghyuk 6:23 p.m

↳ he's being srs

Donghyun 6:24 p.m

↳ ꉂ(˵˃ ᗜ ˂˵)

Sungho 6:25 p.m

↳ Meet in the lobby in 15?

Dongmin 6:25 p.m

↳ make it 20

Sanghyuk 6:25 p.m

↳ 👍

 

 

 

 

Jaehyun looks handsome. Like a classic movie star; his hair is pushed out of his face, held back by the sunglasses resting on his head. He's wearing the same button down he did yesterday, but freshly cleaned, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. They're eating outside today, in the warm, mid evening sun, and it's like he belongs out here.

Everyone is talking, the conversation lively and full of laughter but Dongmin is transfixed on Jaehyun. The way his head tosses back when he laughs out loud. The way his nose wrinkles when someone says something that makes him cringe. The way his hand finds Dongmin's leg under the table and squeezes like it's something he's done before a million times.

When he speaks, his voice feels like the sunlight, like the soft breeze, like the ocean on the shore. Dongmin hangs on to every word, watches the way he shapes them with his mouth, takes note of how his eyes flicker to Dongmin's when he says something funny, just to see if he'll laugh.

Love, Dongmin thinks. It snuck up on him. What was once just a spark in his chest is now a raging fire, his bones are mere kindling and every breath Jaehyun takes fans the flames.

He feels something kick his ankle— weird, that's his thing. He looks, and Woonhak is staring at him, smiling, halfway between teasing and earnest. "You look so whipped," Woonhak tells him, basically a whisper, quiet enough that no one else seems to pick up on it over the ongoing conversation. Dongmin can't even argue— he doesn't want to. Any objection would be a lie. He just rolls his eyes and kicks him back.

After dinner, the group splits up again. Sanghyuk wants to show Woonhak the hot tub rooms, and Donghyun somehow convinces Sungho to attend one of the resorts 'premium ballroom dance classes', so once again, they're left alone just the two of them.

"Do you wanna find something to do?" Dongmin asks him. Jaehyun's hand reaches out and brushes some of Dongmin's hair away from his face.

"Honestly? I'm exhausted. I was up so early this morning, and.." he smiles gently. "All I wanna do is spend time with you."

Dongmin's heart flips embarrassingly. "How about…we go back to the room, and empty out that mini fridge? There's some wine in there..we could find a shitty movie on the T.V, I'm sure.."

Jaehyun nods and leans forward, pressing a kiss to Dongmin's lips. Short. Fleeting. Sickeningly sweet. "That sounds just perfect."

 

 

The hotel wine is okay— Dongmin isn't a wine person anyway, and neither is Jaehyun, so they barely drink any of it, but they do watch a movie. It's some romcom that Dongmin is only half paying attention to; he's thinking too much to really focus.

Jaehyun's head is tucked on his shoulder, arm slung around Dongmin's middle. He laughs at something that happens on the screen and Dongmin gently cards his fingers through the soft, dark locks of hair tickling his cheek.

Dongmin is terrified. He's not used to letting himself feel like this; what if, when the vacation is over, when they're back to their regular lives, Jaehyun realizes he actually doesn't want something real with him?

It's a terrifying thought to think. Dongmin can imagine a life with him, (dishes in the sink, matching mugs, keys hung by the door), and he wants it. Badly.

"Jaehyun," he starts, palm cradling the back of Jaehyun's head as he tilts it back to look Dongmin in the eyes. "We don't…we don't have to put any labels on it yet, I know it might be too soon, but..I want us to be on the same page."

Jaehyun shifts so he can look at him better. Takes his hand— it seems he's already made up his mind. "Okay— what page are you on, then?"

"The one where I want you," Dongmin says after only a moment of hesitation. He's done so much thinking the past few days, but this feels easy. "Fully, I think—I know. Entirely."

Jaehyun's eyes soften and he smiles. "That's where I'm at too," he assures. "We can take it slow, but… hear me out. What if we don't tell everyone it was a joke? How about we… I dunno, just let it be."

Dongmin exhales a laugh from his nose. It's a relief, actually, he was starting to dread the idea of breaking the illusion. "Yeah, that— that seems much less embarrassing than saying we were joking but then it got real."

"Real," Jaehyun echoes. He looks happy, the full body type of happy that radiates out from his eyes like starlight. "I'd like to be real with you, Dongmin."

Something sweet and euphoric blooms in Dongmin's veins, fluttering, echoing, electric. "You're so cheesy," he teases, pulling his hand out of Jaehyun's so he can push him back instead, until his back meets the mattress. Dongmin climbs on top of him for the second time that day, until he's sat nicely in his lap. Right where he wants to be. "I'd like that, too."

And he kisses Jaehyun, deeply and sincerely and with zero pretending. They kiss, and kiss, and time fades away. By the time they break apart, Dongmin's lips are numb and tingling and his eyelids feel heavy. His sleepy expression makes Jaehyun giggle.

They don't bother to sleep in separate beds this time.

Dongmin curls up, limbs tangled with Jaehyun's, and he falls asleep quicker than he has in a very long time.

 

 

Monday

 

 

They don't have time to do much today before they have to leave for the airport. They pack their bags when they wake up, and it takes longer than it should because Jaehyun won't stop pulling him in for kisses. Dongmin lets him each time, so he can't really, completely blame him.

When they're finished packing, they go downstairs to have breakfast together, all of them. Dongmin doesn't order himself a coffee, but he steals sips of Jaehyun's, and Jaehyun calls him cute when he notices. He orders Dongmin his own the next time a waiter passes their table.

Dongmin is fucking giddy. He can't even pretend like he's not, he keeps smiling so wide his cheeks hurt.

In the original plan, this was going to be when they reveal the joke. They had it all planned out, what they'd say, how they'd say it. In his head, it was going to be this huge moment— but… that's not happening anymore. When Dongmin slips his hand into Jaehyun's, it's not performance. It's not to be seen, it's just to do. If he's being honest, it stopped being about being convincing long before he and Jaehyun actually decided to be something for real.

After breakfast, they only have about an hour or so before they have to check out, so they decide to take a quick walk by the beach. They wander down the shore, foot prints trailing behind the six of th— Woonhak makes fun of Jaehyun for something stupid, and Jaehyun takes off, chasing him down the beach, their laughter carrying in the wind.

"Our boyfriends are stupid," Sanghyuk deadpans, a color that's awfully fond in his tone that Dongmin recognizes all too well.

"Yeah," Dongmin laughs, "They really are."

Dongmin is happy to end off a great vacation by watching Jaehyun goof off and feeling the sun sink into his skin. Laughter, warmth, the ocean air; the only words Dongmin can think of to describe any of it, is worth it.

Let yourself have something good.

And Dongmin is trying.

 

 

Friday

Late summer

 

 

The cicadas hum a familiar song as Dongmin steps into the backyard. The sun is setting, creeping lower in the sky, getting close enough to kiss the treeline. Donghyun is in the lake, predictably, as are a few of the girls— Minju and her friends came this time, because the place they're renting is big enough to accommodate them.

They chose a lake house for their trip this year, one that's secluded and spacious. It's been great so far. Sungho, for one, is really into the grill on the back porch, which is where he is now, meticulously working on meat for dinner. It's funny— he looks a bit like a dad, long socks and a novelty apron that reads 'bitchin' in the kitchen!' that Woonhak had found in the house's coat closet.

Sanghyuk is at side, talking his ear off about some guy he's trying to set Sungho up with, while Sungho pretends like he can't hear him.

There's a picnic table a few paces away that Woonhak is sitting at. He's looking out onto the lake, watching Donghyun and the girls take turns launching themselves off the dock and into the water; voices echo as they shout ratings for their splashes. Dongmin sits beside him, and they share a smile.

"I can't wait for dinner," Woonhak says.

Dongmin squints and replies, "Hello to you too."

Woonhak laughs softly, "Sorry, Hi. Where's Jaehyun?"

"He's setting the table, he insisted," Dongmin glances behind him back at the porch. "Your boyfriend is harassing Sungho again."

"Yeah, I know," Woonhak sighs wistfully, smile much too wide to be anything but adoring. "In his defense, I really do think Sungho would like Euijoo."

Dongmin hums, considers. "Maybe next year he'll have someone to bring on our trip, too."

Woonhak nods thoughtfully and looks back out towards the lake. "We're gonna need a bigger house."

Dongmin hears him not long later— there's laughter, familiar and warmer than the sun, and Jaehyun's voice echoes through the surrounding forests. Dongmin's pretty sure the sound could make flowers bloom.

Jaehyun steals a piece of meat from the grill and bites off half of it; his eyes land on Dongmin and he brightens, rushing down towards where him and Woonhak are sat. "I stole this for you, like a caveman returning home to his wife after hunting-"

Dongmin laughs, rolls his eyes playfully. "I saw you eat half already," he tilts his head, "I still want it though."

Jaehyun holds it out, and Dongmin bites it— it's good, Sungho's getting better at grilling.

At their apartment, Dongmin has started doing a lot more cooking. Him and Jaehyun have been in their new place for a few months now; it's small, charming, fits them perfectly. There's a hook by the door for their keys. When Dongmin cooks, Jaehyun always insists on doing the dishes, so they rarely pile up. In he cabinet are two mugs that Dongmin had bought them online, ones he'd hunted for specifcally to fulfill his own little fantasy. A golden puppy mug, and a black cat one. Jaehyun bit him in the shoulder when he opened them, claimed it was cuteness aggression.

They spend a lot of their time on the couch together. On their respective devices, a drama on the T.V, their legs slotted together. It's everything Dongmin hoped it would be, and so much more.

There's yelling from the lake that pulls Dongmin out of his daydream— "Jaehyun! Myung Jaehyun!" and Donghyun is grinning as he waves and shouts from the dock.

"Shit," Jaehyun mutters, "I owe him a splash."

Dongmin raises his eyebrows, "What does that even—" Before he can finish, Jaehyun is shoving his phone into Dongmin's hands and kicking off his shoes. "Oh, boy."

Jaehyun kisses him quickly, hands on either side of his face. He makes an exaggerated 'MWAH!' noise before he's flying down the yard, bare feet in the grass and hair bouncing in the wind. Woonhak chuckles from beside him,

"He's an idiot."

Fondness feels an awful lot like sunlight. Jaehyun leaps into the air and then basically bellyflops into the water— the splash is big, he'll give him that, and the surrounding laughter is loud even from a distance. Warmth and laughter, things that follow Myung Jaehyun wherever he goes.

"Yeah," Dongmin agrees. "But he's mine."

Notes:

thank you so much for reading ahhh!!! i really hope you enjoyed, and if you have any thoughts or comments i'd love to hear <3

this is the longest thing ive written in a Minute, i usually suck at long fics, so im so very excited to see what you all think. thank you!!!

twt