Chapter Text
Sirius could feel James and Harry continue walking ahead of him on the street but his legs had stopped short.
Sirius had stopped because he had seen movement in his peripheries from the shop he had been pretending he wasn’t completely obsessed with for months now.
The cute guy from Moony’s was hanging something in the shop’s front window.
Sirius had been subconsciously walking past this shop for weeks, just for a sighting of this man, although he had never said it out loud, hell, he could barely admit it to himself.
James was still babbling about the final play in Man City’s last game, talking mainly to Harry rather than Sirius, so he hadn’t even noticed Sirius wasn’t walking alongside him anymore. James finally looked up for some solidarity in his views and comically whipped his head around to spot Sirius, 20 metres behind him, staring intensely at the new little sign in the window. He double backed immediately to come see what was up.
Luckily for Sirius, James’ eyesight had always been shit so he couldn’t make out exactly what was causing Sirius’ existential crisis.
“Give me Harry,” Sirius mumbled, after acknowledging the two of them now standing directly next to him.
“Sirius, what?” James responded, confused.
“Harry. Give me Harry,” Sirius repeated, not waiting for a response before tucking his hands under Harry’s armpits and lifting him onto his own hip.
After situating Harry properly, Sirius cautiously looked up and down the street for oncoming traffic before rushing across to the entrance of the little bookstore.
James, unfortunately, had now caught on, knowing that Sirius had a bit of an obvious, embarrassing, soul-destroying, crush on the man who worked there.
“Oh come on, Sirius, I’ve put up with a lot in my life for you but not my son!” James bellowed but loyally he didn’t move to follow, he just ducked his head and chuckled, turning to window shop at the mannequins behind him and therefore allowing Sirius to go through with whatever half-baked scheme was happening in his head.
Sirius stopped for a split second to properly read the sign now that he was up close.
New Reader Required for Friday’s Children Storytime Sessions. Enquire Within.
He smiled to himself and turned to Harry in his arms, “what do you think, Sprog? I could do that, couldn’t I?”
“Purple!” Harry responded.
Sirius furrowed his brow, confused before he followed Harry’s little finger to see the new display in the window was, in fact, quite purple. The bookshop was trying to promote some new book series that involved a genie so there was a little golden lamp sitting on a purple pillow, sheets of purple fabric surrounding it rather perfectly.
Sirius smiled, “yeah, purple,” and pushed the door open, the little tinkle of the bell indicating their arrival in the perfect, magical space.
The handsome man’s head popped up from behind the counter at the noise and he smiled lopsidedly at the pair of them before busying himself back into whatever he was doing. Sirius approached and after a few seconds of the man’s head not reappearing, he cleared his throat.
“Uh, hi,” Sirius started, unconsciously clutching Harry tighter to his hip like some kind of defense mechanism. Harry, predictably, started to grizzle and wriggle out of his arms.
Now, listen, Sirius has been an uncle long enough to know that when a kid doesn’t want to be held, the path of least resistance is to let go and let them do what they want to do if the situation warrants it, but right now, in Sirius’ mind, Harry is his ticket into this man’s life, so he clutched on tighter.
Harry glared at him but, thankfully, didn't pitch a fit in the middle of the store.
The man’s head popped back up and that glorious smile made another appearance, albeit a little cautiously.
“Did you need some help?” The man asked.
And oh, he’s Welsh. Well, that accent just made Sirius’ heart practically explode.
“I see you need help on Fridays?” Sirius responded.
The man looks at the sign in the window and then back at Sirius, bemusedly.
“I literally put that there two minutes ago.”
“Ah, perfect timing then! I’m the best at reading stories! Aren’t I, Haz?” Sirius tickled Harry’s stomach for emphasis.
“Papa is the best at reading stories,” Harry replied, seriously.
Sirius was taken out of the moment for a second and turned his head to his godson, “well that is simply not true.”
Harry had the audacity to look affronted and repeated himself, rather hotly, “PAPA is the best at reading stories!”
Sirius blanched and turned back to the man behind the counter, “I do all the voices.”
“Papa’s voices are better and mummy and daddy join in,” Harry continued, unknowingly completely salting Sirius’ game.
“Well,” Sirius said slowly, “now I think you’re just trying to hurt my feelings.”
The man chuckled and Sirius’ attention was diverted back to him.
What a glorious sound. It sounded like the low rumble of a motorbike trying to splutter to a start but so, so much sweeter. Sirius could have swooned right there and now.
“Luckily I’m in a mood where I won’t take one child’s sole opinion on the matter, unless your partner is free on Friday’s, in which case, shall I offer him the position?” The man chuckled, “have you done anything like this before?”
“Partner?” Sirius replied, blindsided, “no he’s talking about my stupid brother. Harry’s my nephew… and godson. I don’t have a partner.”
“Paaaads, down!” Harry wiggled again and Sirius had no choice but to release him to cause whatever chaos the three-year-old decided was warranted. Maybe he would have better luck without him, now he had his literal foot in the door.
The two men watched as Harry immediately beelined his way to the children's section to start pulling colourful books off the racks.
“Have you got experience doing children’s readings? We have a bit of a loyal following here but my friend, Mary, has just finished her teacher training and now has to work a full 9-5 week day so we have lost our star. You think you can fill the gap?” The man asked, his eyes still following Harry with clear amusement.
“I know I can! Don’t take that gremlins' word for it, I’m so good at the voices, I promise!”
“It doesn’t pay well, barely minimum wage. I was kind of expecting one of the parents to step up and do it out of love but if you are interested we could give it a… trial run?”
Sirius hadn’t even thought about financial compensation for the offer. In fact, he hadn’t thought about the particulars at all if he was being honest. Now that money had been brought up, he started to panic. If he was going to commit to every Friday morning, it meant closing his shop on Friday mornings… that could be a problem… but one he was willing to work around if this meant getting to spend time here with this handsome stranger. He was still debating the semantics in his head when he felt another child rush past his legs in Harry’s direction.
“Teddy, what did I say about running in the shop?” the man called, and the little boy immediately slowed down with a look of someone who had been sincerely admonished over his shoulder. The man looked back at Sirius, “my son,” he explained.
“Right,” Sirius nodded, watching as the little boy reached Harry, vibrating with excitement.
Sirius had never noticed a child here before. Granted, he had never actually stepped foot in the establishment, but he couldn’t help the sinking feeling in his chest. A child usually equaled a relationship that birthed the child so that meant that this man likely had a perfect wife at home that he was completely in love with. He suddenly felt foolish for the situation he had put himself in just as the man said, “so, are you up for a trial run this week? You can bring your nephew with you. I’m always around so I can be an extra set of eyes for him while you are actually reading the book. You can pick the book too, if you like? Mary stuck to the classics; The Gruffalo, The Tiger who came for tea, Room on the Broom, but you can just pick your favourite?”
“Huh?” Sirius replied, still completely lost in his own thoughts.
“Friday? Reading a book for the kids?” The man prompted, that cute little smile back on his lips, highlighting the dimple that appeared there.
“How about the Wonky Donkey?”
“You think you can handle that story in front of twenty children on your first try?”
Sirius huffed a cocky, “please,” happy that some of his bravado was naturally returning to him just as the bell tinkled again and two women rushed into the space.
“Babe, I’m so sorry! Christmas shopping took far longer than anticipated, we got here as soon as we could,” the shorter one announced as she leaned both hands on the counter to hoist herself up to kiss the man on his cheek, “Fleur’s mum is notoriously hard to buy for, you understand.”
The man chuckled again and leaned forward to hug the taller, blonde woman next.
“I understand. Teddy, your mums are here.”
The boy, Teddy, let himself be distracted from Harry by the sight of the two women and his face lit up. He rushed forward to hug the shorter one with the blue, pixie style haircut. She grinned down at him before suddenly noticing Sirius standing there awkwardly.
“Oh, I’m sorry, we didn’t mean to distract you from a customer”
“He’s interested in taking Mary’s spot. This is… sorry what’s your name?”
“Sirius,” Sirius said as awkwardly as he felt, “Sirius Black.”
“Ooh it’s a pretty name,” the blonde woman cut in with a smile, her French accent making Sirius’ heart plummet further. God, how could he even compare to these two stunners, especially if one of them was French. He had pulled several people just from his French skills alone.
The blue haired woman smiled at Sirius again before turning back to her son, “say goodbye to Da, Teds, we have to get home if we are going to have time to bake Christmas biscuits for Grandpa tonight.”
“Bye Da!” the little boy shouted, before rushing behind the counter and hugging the man’s legs. The man leant down to hug him properly before ushering them all out of the store and turning back to Sirius.
“Sorry about that, so Friday?”
“Yeah… yeah, um, Friday, we’ll be here,” Sirius said sheepishly. He had already committed now. One week wouldn’t kill him. Even if this beautiful man had two beautiful partners and a son and wasn’t available, pulling out now was unthinkable.
“Great, well I’ll give you my number just in case you change your mind but we usually start around 10am and go to 12, Mary usually did one story, let the kids chill for a bit and then read another, does that work for you?”
“Yup,” Sirius replied, handing over his phone for the man to put in his details, aware he was sounding less enthused by the minute.
The man handed Sirius back his phone and they shared another awkward smile before Sirius called for Harry and exited the store. He held onto Harry’s hand as he looked down at his phone to see the name of the brand new contact added there.
Remus Lupin - Moony’s
“UGH,” Sirius groaned as he let his head fall down onto the dining room table.
“I really don’t see the problem here?” Lily responded as she entered the room carrying garlic bread, followed by Regulus holding a stack of five dinner plates and cutlery.
“She called him babe! I just agreed to do this whole stupid thing with the idea that spending more time with him might lead somewhere and then his perfect wives walk in and now I’m stuck doing some stupid reading with some stupid kids!”
“I’m sorry, what’s happening?” Regulus asked, with a sideways look to James who just shrugged, smirking.
“I call you babe all the time, Sirius! That doesn’t actually mean they are together, you know?” Lily offered as she placed the bread down and shuffled behind Regulus to her seat, her hand finding the small of his back as she went.
“That’s different, we couldn’t be attracted to each other if we tried, Lils,” Sirius groaned, leaning his head on his hands, defeated.
“Exactly,” Lily prompted, waiting for Sirius to get her point, “do you really think he’s in a relationship with both these women? That’s pretty rare.”
“You all do it,” Sirius responded, gesturing at the three other adults at the dinner table.
“I think what Lily means is that maybe you’re used to polyamory because of us,” James cut in as he started to fill Harry’s plate, “maybe you are seeing it everywhere when it just might not be the case?”
“I’m sorry, can someone please fill me in?” Regulus huffed as he placed James’ plate in front of him and leaned down to kiss him gently on the top of the head, “not so much mash Jamie, it’s all he’ll eat and he won’t eat the broccoli.”
James nodded and stopped scooping the potatoes in front of Harry, who, in turn, scowled up at Regulus.
“Sirius has found himself in somewhat of a pickle,” James elaborated, gleefully, “we were walking in town today and he saw his favourite bookstore needed a reader for their children’s session on Friday, he volunteered thinking it would get him an in with the owner but now it seems the owner has a kid and two women in his life and Sirius is freaking out.”
Sirius exclaimed “I’m not freaking out!” at the exact same time that Regulus asked, “Sirius has a favourite bookstore?” his eyebrows raised in Sirius’ direction.
“Sirius is right here,” Sirius groaned, always annoyed that the three of them seemed to discuss his life right in front of him all the freaking time.
“Don’t you work on Fridays?” Regulus asked, genuinely perplexed.
“Yes,” Sirius responded, a bit defiantly.
“So you’re just going to bail on work for the morning?”
“I own the shop, Reggie, it’s not that big of a deal.”
“Well I think it’s lovely,” Lily cut in, ever the mediator, “it’ll be a new experience, it’ll be fun, no matter what the outcome is. Plus…” she looked between James and Regulus, conspiratorially, “it will help us out with Harry on Friday mornings.”
Sirius didn’t lift his head from his plate but he knew the three of them were having one of their silent conversations with their eyes. All three of them worked on Fridays. It was the hardest day to find care for Harry as James’ parents were always busy that day and they weren’t ready to send Harry to daycare if they could help it. So far, they had worked around it by taking turns at having the day off work to look after him.
“Oh yeah, you should totally do it,” Regulus said, eventually, completely obvious with his intentions, “uncle/nephew bonding time. I support it.”
“What book will you read?” Lily asked, while sharing a secret smile with Regulus.
“I told him I’d read the Wonky Donkey, Harry loves that one, right Sprog?” Sirius replied.
“I like Papa reading it,” Harry said in between mouthfuls of mash.
“Right, that’s enough out of you,” Sirius countered, his mood sinking even lower, pointedly ignoring Regulus’ face breaking into a triumphant smile.
“Did you at least get this mysterious man’s name finally?” James asked.
“Remus Lupin,” Sirius said, his hand immediately feeling for his phone, as if to secure this precious information from falling right out his pocket.
“OOH!” Lily squealed as she forgo her fork for her own phone to start cyberstalking.
“Lils! Lily, no!” Sirius yelled as he reached over the table but it was no use. Even if he could reach her, Regulus and James had both thrown their arms out to block him from ever making contact. Lily would be allowed to do as she pleased in this godforsaken house.
“Oh, he’s not on Facebook or Instagram, that’s disappointing,” she pouted as she dutifully scrolled through various apps.
“Try the bookstore name, what was it Jamie?” Regulus asked.
“Moony’s” James and Sirius said at the same time. Sirius had succumbed to his fate, there was no stopping Lily Evans Potter now.
“Oh there’s no picture of him,” Lily scowled, “but it looks like a very pretty shop, ooh he’s a C.S Lewis fan!”
“How on earth can you tell that?” Sirius asked, leaning over to look at her phone.
“The quote at the top of the website? You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me. How have you never looked at this site?”
“I have… I just didn’t realise that quote came from C.S Lewis,” Sirius shrugged.
“Why is his name so familiar to me?” Regulus asked, almost to himself, “I’ve definitely heard or read the name Remus Lupin somewhere.”
The whole conversation was forgotten for a while as they all tucked into their dinner. James was helping Harry, Lily and Regulus were sharing secret smiles behind their glasses of wine and Sirius was starting to think about his own little flat far away from these people. He loved them all, desperately, but it was never hard to feel like an interloper during these pleasant family moments, even if he had literally known all of the adults at this table before they knew each other.
“Oh fuck!” Regulus shrieked, out of nowhere, and suddenly stood up and left the room. James and Lily exchanged a confused glance but before they knew it Regulus was back, holding a book.
“Remus fucking Lupin!” he yelled, gesticulating wildly at the object in his hands.
“What?” Sirius said, dumbly.
“Howling at the Moon by Remus Lupin,” Regulus thrust the book into Sirius’ hands, “I bought it on a whim, it’s a coming-of-age story of a young kid who finds out he’s a werewolf when he goes through puberty. It was actually kind of beautiful with all the metaphors for a kid realising he is queer and feeling ‘othered’. It’s not a bestseller by any means but I held onto it for Harry when he was older. It’s a great YA novel.”
“Is there a picture?” Lily leaned forward to yank the book out of Sirius’ hands to open the dust jacket and shrieked with glee, “there he is! Oh god, Sirius, well done.”
Sirius couldn’t even be present at this moment. The man he had been quietly obsessing over for months wasn’t just a bookstore owner, but an author? He had published a book that his snobby, self righteous little brother had bought and enjoyed? With queer metaphors? He was out of his depth.
Sirius tuned back in while Lily was reading aloud, “Remus Lupin lives in London and owns Moony’s bookstore. He is an avid reader, author and lover of all literature. His greatest accomplishment is and remains his son Teddy whom he raises with his best friends. This is for you, Teds.”
She shut the book and placed her hand on her heart with a little aww.
“Well there’s your answer, he’s in a happy relationship raising his son with his best friends,” Sirius said, glumly.
“It says best friends, not wives,” Regulus pointed out as Lily turned to gesture her wine glass at him in agreement.
“Well I don’t know, I would call you two my best friends?” James said, looking between Lily and Regulus.
Sirius could see James’ point and knew he was trying to back his own argument up but he couldn’t help himself, “I’m not your best friend?” he asked, feigning absolute betrayal.
“Oh! Um… of course you are Pads! My bestest friend! I just, well what I mean is… I could imagine someone calling their partner their best… well… hey! Fuck you! I’m taking your side right now!”
Sirius chuckled and turned back to his meal. It was never a wasted evening if he could get James that flustered.
Friday morning, Sirius stood outside Moony’s holding onto Harry’s hand. He had given himself several pep talks just to get to this moment. He clutched the Wonky Donky under his arm alongside Harry's well worn copy of ‘Dear Zoo’ of which he was not entirely sure that all the pop ups features still worked.
The little bell tinkled as they entered and Remus Lupin’s handsome head popped out from behind a nearby shelf at the sound.
“Hey! You came!”
“I said I would,” Sirius smiled, clutching the books in his arms and Harry’s hand in his own a little bit tighter.
“Hi Harry!” Remus beamed and then moved to pick up the box he was unpacking back up off the floor. Sirius hadn’t failed to notice the tremor in Remus’ arms as he did so, as if it was taking every last bit of his energy to complete the job. Remus dropped the box of the main counter and took a couple of seconds to regain his composure.
“You’re a bit early. Most of the regulars don’t arrive for another 15 minutes but it’ll give me a chance to show you where Mary usually set up.”
“Are you okay?” Sirius asked, concerned. Remus was now noticeably hobbling to get back behind the counter and he returned with a well-worn wooden cane which he leaned most of his body weight on.
“Me? Yeah, just a bad arthritis day. Terrible timing too as I’m meant to be doing inventory tonight. Anyway, let me show you where to set up.”
Sirius tried not to think of the similarities between Remus with his cane and the lead character in Howling at the Moon as he followed Remus to a little corner of the store. Sirius had read that entire book in just two days and had basically fallen in love with the man that had created such wonderful depictions of the struggles of homosexuality and teenage angst. The main character struggled with the fallouts of transformations back into ‘regular’ society throughout the novel and Sirius stared at Remus, wondering if that was a metaphor for his own queerness or his own disability. Both were viable options and both were extremely valid.
Or maybe it was just a goddamn story.
They reached the reading nook that was obviously set up with immense love. A homemade blanket covered the floor with various pillows set out in a semi circle surrounding the wooden stool in the corner. Tactile toys were scattered about to allow the smaller children something to focus on if the story got a little too boring and two portable heaters were set up on the peripheries. It was already warm in the store due to central heating so Sirius raised his eyebrows at the inclusion of them.
“Oh we hardly ever turn them on but they are nice to have in case the central heating fails. It has happened in the past during storms and you can never be too careful at this time of year, you know?” Remus comments, clearly following Sirius’ eyeline.
One by one the ‘regulars’ filtered in and Sirius started to feel the unfamiliar pangs of something equating nervousness. His palms started to sweat as he continuously recited the harder parts of the book in his head, deciding where to emphasise to get the real laugh out loud moments. Harry, for his part, completely abandoned Sirius immediately to get to know the other children who were now frequenting the space - the little traitor.
By the time Remus had welcomed everyone and introduced Sirius, he had been continuously chanting they’re just kids in his head for about ten consecutive minutes.
“Hey kids!”
“HI MR. SIRIUS” was the communal chant back.
“Who here has read this book? The Wonky Donkey? I know my nephew Harry loves it.”
Harry, currently, seemed entirely disinterested and if he was any older, Sirius could have sworn he was trying not to look affiliated with him, but surely that couldn’t be the case. Hell, the kid's three-years-old, he doesn’t know what embarrassment is yet!
A few other children put up their hands so Sirius took that as a win, he glanced up and unfortunately made eye contact with Remus who was leaning against the main counter with a fond look in his eye. Focus, Sirius, Jesus Christ.
Sirius opened the book and decided to let go of all self-consciousness. He mentally put himself into Harry’s bedroom. It was just the two of them, all of Harry’s parents had left for the night so there was no one else listening to him be as stupid as he possibly could be.
“I was walking down the road and I saw a donkey… HEE HAW!”
He put his whole chest into that Hee Haw and the response he got was nothing short of phenomenal. All the kids listening immediately burst into hysterics and mums and dads around them shot him warm looks of encouragement. It felt AWESOME. He didn’t dare look in Remus’ direction, he just needed to keep this buzz going.
By the final few pages, Sirius could admit he was a little out of breath with how much effort he had put into his performance. He hadn’t failed to notice Harry had been slowly moving closer to him with every page and was now nestled directly on his left leg, looking up at him in admiration.
“He only had three legs, one eye, he liked to listen to country music, he was quite tall and slim, he smelt really, really bad, that morning he had gotten up early and hadn’t had any coffee, he was always getting up to mischief but he was quite good looking. He was a SPUNKY, HANKY-PANKY, CRANKY, STINKY-DINKY, LANKY, HONKY-TONKY, WINKY, WONKY DONKEY. I was walking down the road and I saw a donkey, HEE HAW!”
The room burst into applause and laughter and Sirius felt a bit of pride crawl up his chest.
Fuck, he was rather good at this.
“Okay, we are going to take a small break, see you all soon!” he announced and was immediately bombarded by Harry who seemed aware there were now other children looking at Sirius with intent and he needed to make it known that Sirius belonged to him.
Teddy was one of those kids who cautiously approached the pair of them and smiled at Harry before tugging on Sirius’ sleeve.
“Mr. Sirius, will you read another book?”
“I think we are going to read Dear Zoo in a few minutes Teddy, unless there is another book you are wanting to hear?”
“I like Dear Zoo!” Teddy beamed and then raced to his dad and clung onto his leg. Sirius’ eyeline followed him before slowly creeping up Remus’ frame and finally landing on his face. Remus looked at him with what Sirius could only describe as pride in his eyes. He sent a small smile Sirius’ way before bending down to say something to Teddy. Sirius frowned when he saw the wince of pain Remus tried to hide as he stood back upright.
After thirty minutes, Sirius put on his performance persona again and fumbled his way through the next book to the same enthusiastic response. After, as children and parents left, he was approached several times for praise and the hope that they would see him next week. Sirius figured he had secured himself a job he didn’t need… or necessarily want.
As the others filtered out, Sirius approached the counter where Remus was waving and smiling at the families leaving.
“I think I’m a hit,” Sirius stated, going for bold rather than conceited.
“I wouldn’t dream of contradicting you,” Remus smiled, “trial run successful, I’d say. You want to do this again next week?”
Sirius took a second to respond. Did he want to do this again next week? It was fun, sure, but he did have a very real job with very real deadlines. He couldn’t keep closing his shop whenever he wanted to spend time with someone who he wasn’t even sure was a possibility. Could he?
“Uh, absolutely!”
Sirius frowned at himself. Clearly his dick was controlling his speech right now because that was not the response his mind had decided on.
“Well great, I’ll see you then,” Remus sent him one more smile before turning to hobble back behind the counter.
“Are you seriously considering doing inventory tonight? I know from experience that’s a lot of bending and lifting stuff. You don’t really seem up for it.” Sirius heard the words come out of his mouth before he could stop them.
“Excuse me?” Remus asked, his eyebrows narrowed.
“I… I just mean, is there anyone that could help you? If you aren’t feeling great, maybe you should do it another night?”
“I can’t do it another night. I’ll be fine, don’t worry about it,” Remus said matter-of-factly.
“I could come help you,” Sirius offered before immediately cringing at how desperate he was coming across.
“Why would you want to do that? I’m sure you have something more exciting to do with your evening.”
“Oh, you’d be surprised. My big plans involve dropping this one off back to his parents,” he indicated to Harry with his head, “heading to work for a few hours before getting home, eating something frozen, scrolling through about three different streaming services looking for something to watch before ultimately doomscrolling on my phone for the entire evening while getting wine-drunk by myself.”
Remus laughed which made Sirius relax just a fraction that he hadn’t just completely outed himself as the saddest individual on the planet.
“I mean… I don’t want to take away from your wine-drunk evening.”
“Eh, better for me if I refrain every now and then if I’m being honest.”
“Uh, I guess. If you really want to? I was planning on starting as soon as the shop closes. 6?”
“I’ll be back at 6 then!”
Sirius left the shop feeling triumphant, if not a little awkward. He really didn’t know why he was going out of his way with no guarantee of reciprocal feelings, but he had every intention of being right back at that shop at six sharp.
“Five of Donna Tartt’s The Secret History,” Sirius recited as he counted the books on the shelf. Remus was dutifully sitting on the stool by the main counter recording every number Sirius was sprouting off without too much complaint. There was a tense moment right at the beginning of the night where Remus was trying to bend down to the lower shelves showing Sirius exactly how inventory was taken even when Sirius had reiterated how many times he had done this at his own shop and Remus was to sit his cute arse down, just ask questions and record Sirius’ answers. The flirting vibe during this argument was very clear and both parties became a little flustered before heading towards their respective jobs and getting on with it.
“Five?”
“Five.”
“Shit, well either one’s been stolen or we’ll find it hidden in the V’s. I doubt it though…”
“Is robbery common?"
“No, not really. Most discrepancies eventually get discovered. I used to get pretty upset about it but one time I was going on and on about one of my copies of A Little Life going missing and literally monologuing about shoplifting. Tonks eventually sheepishly mentioned picking it up off the shelf, getting super into it and forgetting to put it back. It taught her a bit about boundaries and it taught me a lot of not getting hung up on one book being missing. It was a learning curve for all of us, I guess.”
Sirius laughed, “I guess she was punished just by getting sucked into that particular book in the first place,” and went to move to the next section.
“Yeah, she woke me up at 2am sobbing through the phone when she finished it. I think she learnt her lesson.”
Through the phone? Sirius thought this must have been early in their relationship.
“She couldn’t help tonight?” Sirius asked, curiously.
“Tonks? Nah, she had to work, she usually does help but she has just gotten a promotion. She’s made detective, which is pretty exciting because it’s all she’s wanted to do for pretty much her whole life.”
“Right,” Sirius answered, his heart plummeting. Remus had been gushing about both Tonks and Fleur the entire evening and despite Lily assuring him that polyamory wasn’t as common as he thought, it seemed clear Remus was in love with these two women he had heard so much about. Sirius couldn’t blame him, they were both objectively gorgeous, Remus was clearly living the straight man’s dream.
“Was one of your characters in ‘Howling at the Moon’ based on her?”
“What?” Remus fumbled with his pen as he shot Sirius a shocked look, “you read that?”
“Yeah my brother Regulus showed it to me, I can definitely see parts of you in there and I think the character of Edward has similarities to Teddy, but I could be wrong…”
“Oh shit,” Remus suddenly exclaimed, “Excuse me for one second, I just have to go say goodnight.”
Remus walked towards the little spiral staircase at the back end of the shop and made his way up it. Sirius watched him go, all the pieces clicking into place.
He had seen the shop from the outside for months, he knew there was a little flat above it. From Sirius’ calculations, it might have been a one bedroom, two bedroom at most, certainly not big enough for three adults and a child, but maybe they thrived in close proximity?
Sirius felt a bit stupid. His crush had gotten so far out of control, but, technically, he was still having a nice evening. Maybe he could be happy just being friends with this man. There weren’t many polyamorous relationships out there. Maybe he could introduce these three to his own three and they would bond over being misunderstood in general society while Sirius would continue to be the outsider in a world he didn’t really understand but was supportive of nonetheless.
He was still stuck in his own head when Remus returned and smiled sheepishly at him, “Sorry, I promised Ted I would be up before he fell asleep.”
“You live above the shop?”
“Well, yeah? I thought you knew that? I’m literally here all the time,” Remus laughed as he picked the forgotten spreadsheet back up, ready to continue.
“Isn’t it a bit small for all four of you?”
Sirius wanted to kick himself as soon as he said it. He didn’t know Remus’ family's financial situation. It might be all they could afford. Growing up in affluent wealth and then suddenly finding himself completely on his own, very aware of money issues, meant that he was constantly reevaluating what wealth really meant. His parents had hoards of it, more than most people saw in a lifetime. James’ parents had stacks of it too. But most people he had met in his adulthood had modest amounts and lived perfectly happy lives. It made money awkward to talk about as he had never really established how he felt about it all and yet he had just opened the topic so easily.
“All… four of us?”
“Yeah?”
“I mean… I live up there… with Teddy when he’s with me. It’s big enough for the two of us? For now anyway. It’s a two bedroom but Ted’s room technically does pass as a walkway between the living room and my room so I doubt he’ll love it as a teenager but it works for now.”
“You don’t live with Tonks and Fleur?"
“No?” Remus half laughed, half questioned, “They live a couple of roads over, why would you think I live with Tonks and Fleur?”
“Is Teddy up there by himself right now?”
“No, of course not! Fleur is watching some French melodrama on my TV until we have finished down here. Teds asked to stay here tonight so we are just making it work.”
“I thought you were all together,” Sirius mumbled, embarrassed.
“What? No!” Remus giggled and walked closer to Sirius, which Sirius was embarrassed to admit made his breath hitch, “Tonks has been my best friend since uni. She did a year abroad and met Fleur in France about five years ago. They got married and decided they were ready to start a family. I’ve always wanted a kid so we figured between the three of us we had the parts to make it happen the way we wanted it to. You really thought I was with both of them? What would make you think that?”
“Well I don’t know,” Sirius admitted, his cheeks heating, “my sister-in-law thinks I see polyamory everywhere because my three closest people are in a polyamorous relationship and I…”
“Are these Harry’s parents?” Remus asked, clearly interested, “you have to tell me how that happened.”
“Well… yeah. I found Lily and James in high school and they very quickly became my two best friends. The three of us did everything together. I figured out pretty early on that they were into each other and I was destined to forever be the gay best friend to their main love story and I was happy with that. Only, they twisted the story on me by both of them falling in love with my little brother.”
“Oh shit.”
Sirius hadn’t failed to notice Remus was moving closer and closer as he was sprouting off ancient history so he continued his life story.
“Yeah I was pretty fucked up about it at the time. I first thought Regulus was just trying to get with Lily to try to break the two of them up for fun or something. We fought about it pretty hard, actually,” Sirius lost himself in his memories, “but then I kept catching James and Reggie alone together looking cozy and I got super confused as to where my loyalties ought to lie until they all sat me down and said they were a throuple and I better get used to it. I thought it was a joke… or at least a phase. I kept waiting for the inevitable fall out but it never came. Twelve years later, the three of them are the happiest people I know. Now, according to Lily, I see poly relationships everywhere and they are to blame.”
“How’d Harry come to be?” Remus asked, his hand moving books on the shelf casually near Sirius’ head. Sirius knew that none of those books really needed to be moved, Remus just needed something to do with his hands during this ‘get to know you’ portion of the evening.
“Uh, I don’t actually know to be honest,” Sirius shrugged, “or at least, I never asked if it was planned or anything. From what I do know, Lily was suddenly pregnant and they all were ecstatic about it. I mean, it’s clear James is the biological father, because Harry is literally the spitting image of him, but I don’t think any of them knew before Harry was born. I really don’t think it would have mattered either way. Whether that kid came out with messy hair and bad eye-sight or pale with high cheek-bones, they would have loved him just the same. He’s just… theirs. The perfect amalgamation of all three of them. In fact, I think Reggie loves that kid the most out of them all, but I’d never say that to them.
“Yeah, I definitely wouldn’t say that to them,” Remus laughed, “I don’t imagine they would take that opinion the way you intend it.”
“That kid is becoming more and more like Reggie every day, actually. It’s a bit scary,” Sirius mumbled, thinking of the way Harry glares when he is unhappy or pouts when he doesn’t get his way. No matter what his biology says, he’s his Papa’s son through and through.
“Three sets of grandparents is nice though,” Remus smiled, “Teddy is lucky with that too, Harry must be pretty doted on.”
“Oh. Uh…” Sirius stalled. Remus was clearly trying to find a similarity between the two situations and Sirius hated to have to be the one to burst that particular bubble, “no, just one set of grandparents for Haz, I’m afraid.”
“Oh. Whose…? I mean,” Remus cleared his throat, “I don’t mean to overstep in assuming.”
“James’,” Sirius responded, shrugging. He was aware he was about to shed some not-so-flattering light on his own family right about now but, in for a penny, in for a pound, “Reg and I didn’t grow up in the best of families. Our parents were… traditional. I came out at 16 and was immediately disowned for it. I went to live with James right after that happened, knowing and hating that I left Reggie in a weird situation. He left a year later, far less dramatically and in some ways far more dramatically, the little shit.”
“How?”
“My leaving was confrontational; plates thrown at walls and broken bones, Reggie’s was a long, very thought out letter left on the kitchen counter while his room was already bare and there was no hope in reaching him.”
“Oh,” Remus was so close to him now that Sirius could feel his breath on his cheek.
“I’m making my departure sound more dramatic than it was.”
“I don’t think you are. But if you want to talk about something else, what about Lily’s parents?”
Sirius blinked out of his traumatic childhood. Remus had managed to offer him a way out so seamlessly. He smiled up at the man, slightly tearfully, who was merely a handgrip away.
“Lily? Oh she was from a pretty religious family. She got a scholarship to come to our private school so she was already pretty isolated from them already but they were absolutely thrilled when she announced she was bringing home a boy at first, heteronormativity and all that.” Remus snorted at this and Sirius beamed at the sound, “When they realised it was two boys, who were also in love with each other, they changed their tune. They refused to have anything to do with her after that.”
“Even now? Even after she’s been with both of them for all this time and has a child?”
“Yeah, no word. It’s been super hard for her, I think when they didn’t come to the wedding, that was the last straw,” Sirius nodded, sadly.
“Wedding?” Remus asked.
“Well… I don’t really know the legalities of it but they all walked down the aisle and said some vows. Both Lily and Regulus now have the surname Potter. If nothing else, it was a great day.”
“What was your role on the day?”
“Oh, I had too many,” Sirius laughed and as he did so, he leaned back into the stacks remembering the day fondly.
“Such as?” Remus enquired, not moving closer but definitely not moving away from him either.
“Oh, um… well I was James’ best man, I gave Reggie away and I was Lily’s partner in the father/daughter dance?” Sirius cringed, “I’ve always been their fourth wheel… even if that makes no sense because a fourth wheel is what makes a car stable but… whatever.”
Remus suddenly leaned in further and Sirius’ breath hitched again, “Well, to me, it sounds like you are just an amazing brother, friend and person.”
Sirius lost the ability to reply. He had just talked about himself for the last 15 minutes and learnt nothing of Remus but all his brain could supply was the consistent chant of kiss me kiss me kiss me.
Remus leaned a fraction more forward and Sirius moved to meet him halfway to ensure there was no irrefutable way of denying this moment.
Sirius felt time slow down as he leaned closer and closer and closer until…
“Da?”
Remus immediately pulled back and whipped his head around to face the little boy at the bottom of the spiral staircase.
“Teds, what are you doing up?” Remus asked, automatically straightening up and morphing into ‘dad’ Remus.
“I had a scary dream, Mama’s asleep on the couch so came to find you,” Teddy said quietly, rubbing his eyes.
Remus rushed forward to pick him up and cradle him against his chest, “Oh bud.” He then looked at Sirius with a pained look in his eyes, “I have to…”
“We made a good dent I think,” Sirius said, with faux cheer, “We got all the way to T! That only leaves U-Z for you to crack on with tomorrow so I say we nailed it!”
“We only did the books? What about all the other weird shit I sell?”
“That sounds like a future Remus problem to me” Sirius laughed, forcibly, “go be with your son, I’ll let myself out.”
“Sirius…”
“I’m going to go, but just… call me if you want. You know who I am. I own Padfoots Mechanics on Bright Street if you haven’t gotten around to googling me yet.” Sirius was starting to feel very vulnerable for how much he had just shared about his life and now just wanted to be at home. He took a breath and decided to indulge in one more moment of bravery, “I like you Remus. I understand… all of this, all your responsibilities. I just… just call me, okay?”
“Okay.”
Sirius summoned all his dignity and left the shop.
He was sober on a Friday night for the first time in a long time.
He really, really liked this man.
And he was terrified.