Second Chance

by moontheNyx

Summary:

“I’m sorry, baby.” Shulang said with a low and raspy voice, it wasn’t the pain that made Shulang cry, it was Fan Xiao’s tears and agony that made his eyes teary and ripped his heart.
“Please don’t ask me to live, please don’t ask me what she asked of me!” Fan Xiao pleaded, his words were cruel in every way possible.

He prayed one more time before the darkness consumed him, he prayed to save Fan Xiao, and to make him happy.

Or

Shulang dies, only to come back and open his eyes to the day they met...

Notes:

• Inspired by Take Me Back to the Day We Met by Ella_166

I wanna thank Ella_166 for giving me permission to write my version of the fic I adored♡ (do go and check out the fics over there, there're plenty of Fx x Syl fics!)

As soon as I read that fic I was bewitched by this idea and I wanted to write it from Shulang's side, or maybe I just needed a reason to write a fic where I would be yelling about Shulang's love for FX and this idea was just too perfect!!

I really hope you'll like it ♡

Chapter 1: Dying in his arms

 

It was supposed to be their happy ever ending. Shulang wasn’t sure where it went wrong but he didn’t blame Fan Xiao, they were in it together now, they were a family, Shulang’s chosen family, Shulang’s husband, if Fan Xiao had enemies, it meant Shulang had them too. So, no, he didn’t blame his beloved husband who was currently crying his eyes out while holding onto Shulang during Shulang’s last moments.

 

Shulang never wanted to see his Fan Xiao sad, it hurt his heart to see how devastated Fan Xiao looked and sounded currently. But apparently they still had enemies out there, one of them managed to get a hold of them and Shulang didn’t even hesitate to jump in front of that bullet for his husband. He was bleeding out in his husband’s arms, his mind going away slowly but he was trying to hold on, just so he could spent couple more seconds with Fan Xiao.

 

His Fan Xiao, his love and curse in the same body, his torment and salvation always together. Fan Xiao always believed Shulang was sent to save him, but his dear husband never thought why he was sent to Shulang. He always missed the memo of the way they saved each other. They didn’t function when they were apart, always feeling half but for a long time they didn’t function together either. It took a lot of time to get to today for them.

 

To be happy together, to be together at last without any ill feelings dragging them down. He was once again able to love Fan Xiao openly and however he wished, he was lucky to be able to call him husband. It had been almost half a year since they got married. It hadn't been enough for Shulang, he didn’t get to have enough of Fan Xiao, this felt unfair, so unfair. His husband had lost enough people in his life, it saddened Shulang that he was now going to be in that list.

 

He was gonna be one of the reasons of his husband’s torments, he worked so hard to make Fan Xiao feel at ease and now it all felt in vain. Shulang could see his husband was breaking, he knew Fan Xiao the best, he knew there was no way his baby could continue to live after Shulang, which had added to Shulang’s current torment.

 

“Our.. our son..” Shulang muttered, he was holding onto Fan Xiao’s face, there was blood coming out of his mouth, and Fan Xiao was shaking his head violently, he was shaking more than Shulang, he was breaking and there was nothing that Shulang could do to make it better for him, not this time.

 

“I’m sorry, baby.” Shulang said with a low and raspy voice, it wasn’t the pain that made Shulang cry, it was Fan Xiao’s tears and agony that made his eyes teary and ripped his heart.
“Please don’t ask me to live, please don’t ask me what she asked of me!” Fan Xiao pleaded, his words were cruel in every way possible.
“I can’t do it, Shulang. I CAN’T! You think I can survive WITHOUT YOU?” Fan Xiao yelled, his tears never stopping, his arms never leaving embracing Shulang’s now broken body.

 

But Shulang’s mind was slipping, he was dying and he couldn’t help but feel content to be in Fan Xiao’s arms. But he also prayed, he didn’t want Fan Xiao to be sad like this, he wished he could see it all before, that he could realize Fan Xiao’s love was real, everything else wasn’t but his love had always been real and that was all Shulang had asked of him. He prayed one more time before the darkness consumed him, he prayed to save Fan Xiao, and to make him happy. It was aimless and stupid, but he couldn’t think of anything else but his husband before death came for him…

 

…

 

Shulang opened his eyes. He expected the pain, he expected the hospital lights, if he was awake there was supposed to be pain right? How could they even heal him if he was shot from the chest? But there were no lights, nor any pain around his body. He just felt a little disoriented. He risen his head to see that he was in a car, was this his old car? He looked in front of him to see a black Porsche. Fan Xiao’s old car?

 

He felt more disoriented now. He quickly brought out his phone to look at the date and then he felt like he was losing it. You Shulang wasn’t dead. No. Was he somehow back in time where he first met Fan Xiao? Fan Xiao! The name kept repeated in his head like a mantra. His husband was there in that car. This was how it started, this was how Fan Xiao decided to change both of their lives forever.

 

He had to go out. Shulang was given some sort of second chance he didn’t quite understand but he had to go out now. He had to see Fan Xiao, how was he supposed to stay back from his husband? How was he supposed to pull his hands back from the man he loved too much for anyone’s wellbeing. But Shulang made his peace with his husband’s dark side and schemes. He loved Fan Xiao as he was, that was Shulang’s real love for him, that was what Fan Xiao always needed.

 

Shulang would entertain him again, if it meant he would get to be with Fan Xiao, he was ready to live through it again. And Shulang knew well that Fan Xiao needed to go through some things in order to realize his love for Shulang, in order to learn how to love Shulang without breaking him, Fan Xiao needed time to make peace with the fact that he loved Shulang.

 

Which meant some things in their story had to stay exactly the same as it did before. Shulang got out of the car, and moved slowly to Fan Xiao’s glass, tapping it couple of times, waiting for his asshole husband to take his time to click the damn glass down. But once Shulang was looking at his husband’s handsome face ever since he thought he died in his arms, he felt like his brain short-circuited. His husband looked as handsome as ever.

 

“Are you.. are you hurt?” Shulang asked, feeling like he couldn’t form words, was it possible to miss Fan Xiao when he knew he was just in his arms couple minutes ago but here Shulang was, feeling like a touch starved man and only Fan Xiao’s touch could save him. He closed his eyes, letting his senses to be filled with his many faced manipulator husband.

 

Fan Xiao stepped out of the car, Shulang wished he didn’t, he didn’t want to see more of his man, he wanted to throw himself in Fan Xiao’s arms and yell he was back for them, yell that he was going to make it better for them this time. Shulang had no idea how but if he was given this chance then he had to make most of it. He was ready to face one of the darkest times in his life again, as long as it all meant he would get to be with Fan Xiao again. It was all worth it. His baby was worth it.

 

Shulang sneezed, he didn’t even listened to what Fan Xiao was bullshitting, he was just happy to be in Fan Xiao’s presence, he wanted to laugh with happiness of seeing his husband again, even though this man wasn’t his husband yet, Shulang didn’t care, if there was one thing he learned from his younger partner that was to take every win one could get and seeing Fan Xiao again was the biggest win for Shulang.

 

Fan Xiao’s coat came down on his shoulder, he breathed his husband in, taking advantage of their closeness, he didn’t pull back this time, he wanted to stay as close as possible to Fan Xiao. Then Fan Xiao extended his hand, his eyes watching Shulang with that predatory look Shulang knew way too well by now and then said,
“I’m Fan Xiao.”

 

Notes:

If you liked it please don't forget to drop a kudos ♡

Chapter 2: His presence

 

Shulang knew his car crash after the one he had with Fan Xiao was ordered by his lover, he also knew he had to let it happen again, that was the only way they would once again have their son. So he had let it happen and now he was at the hospital getting his arm checked out, he had been doing nothing but think of Fan Xiao. He had completely forgotten about Lu Chen was with him at this time, and dealing with his ex-boyfriend felt like too much unwanted work for Shulang.

 

But Shulang had to endure it, for Fan Xiao, he was painfully aware how his husband’s jealousy and possessiveness played a role in their lives, for Fan Xiao he had to endure Lu Chen but it was so hard while all Shulang wanted was Fan Xiao and to be in Fan Xiao’s arms, to be loved and kissed by his one and only real lover. The only ever man that held Shulang’s heart no matter how hard it all had been.

 

It was so surprising to witness their lives like this. Shulang was surprised by the power Fan Xiao held, it hadn’t been that long but he was feeling like going mad without Fan Xiao, he couldn’t help but wonder how his husband did it, all that time, how did he endure wanting Shulang to himself but holding back because Shulang wasn’t someone he could just go ahead and grab. No. Fan Xiao crafted every little detail in a way he would have Shulang, it was eerily smart but it didn’t anger him anymore, now he understood that obsession, now he felt that obsession, he was turning into his husband, but even that didn’t frighten him because he still get to see Fan Xiao, he still knew they both existed here.

 

Shulang thought about turning Fan Xiao’s game around, he thought about maneuvering it all back on Fan Xiao and court him instead, it would throw off his husband, but the outcome would be too unpredictable and Shulang was so damn scared to do something wrong. He didn’t want to waste this chance that was given to him, he didn’t want to live without Fan Xiao, he didn’t want to be alone ever again.

 

He felt like crying again. He wanted to be with his husband, and he knew where Fan Xiao was, he knew it all, he knew their story way too well, every minute he spent away from Fan Xiao, he had thought of these times, he thought of them with bitterness before, now he was grateful that every memory that involved Fan Xiao was vivid in his head like it had happened yesterday. It felt hilarious that he was thinking of these times with joy now. Life was a tricky little thing. He liked to think their love was strong enough to give them another chance.

 

Shulang didn’t want to disappoint Fan Xiao, he never wanted to see Fan Xiao crying or upset. Even now he wanted to go and be with Fan Xiao, hold him while he had his nightmares, he just wanted to feel his body and presence around him, it always felt like a protective bubble with Fan Xiao. But this time Fan Xiao was both so close and so far away.

 

So, he had to endure being with Lu Chen too, not that he could touch him but still he had to find some excuse to be away from the bed. He wanted to be in Fan Xiao’s bed. The thought of knowing Fan Xiao was going to paint Lu Chen made him jealous. Until Fan Xiao, Shulang never had that feeling before, Fan Xiao always brought out the worst in him and no matter how much Shulang tried to fight it, he loved it, it made him feel alive. Fan Xiao made him feel alive, only Fan Xiao.

 

“Small world, Mr. You. We meet again.” Shulang heard his velvety voice, this was around when Fan Xiao started the game but hadn’t decided what to do exactly yet. Shulang forgotten that it was at this moment he called out to him, maybe seeking Shulang for unknown reasons.
“Mr. Fan?” Shulang calmly responded, he wasn’t surprised as he was the last time, once again he went to Fan Xiao, feeling like something was always pulling them together, Shulang couldn’t help but smile warmly, he hadn’t seen Fan Xiao in a while, he missed him, he craved Fan Xiao.

 

Shulang couldn’t talk more, he was busy, watching Fan Xiao’s handsome face, not being able to hide his fascination against his husband’s beauty, at this time Fan Xiao wasn’t aware of Lu Chen yet, which meant he didn’t know Shulang was gay. It didn’t matter, there was no possibility that Fan Xiao wouldn’t be getting obsessed with him. When Fan Xiao pulled him to the side when some patient was being carried and touched his arm warmly, Shulang wanted to live in this moment, he wanted Fan Xiao’s hands on himself all the time. He adored Fan Xiao’s hands after all.

 

So, he repeated his steps, and they did save little Tiantian once again. When Shulang cried this time, it wasn’t because of the fulfilment he felt the last time, it was because he felt like there was a chance he could get his family back, that they could become a family again. This time when he offered Fan Xiao to dinner it was to not separate from the man, he didn’t want to be away from Fan Xiao, the distance between them was so annoying, he congratulated Fan Xiao once again for being able to hold back, only if he didn’t he would never had Shulang and that was something Shulang couldn’t have accept anymore.

 

He wanted to savor the cigarette Fan Xiao offered him, he couldn’t help but tease his husband once again by calling it rouge, enjoying the reaction Fan Xiao gave him, knowing how it would come up again in the future. He knew Lu Chen was about to call, and he didn’t want to answer but he was also aware this was probably how Fan Xiao learned about Lu Chen, so he had to take the call, he had to be sweet with Lu Chen again, he had to lure Fan Xiao into his own game.

 

Shulang did it all without a second thought. He tried living without Fan Xiao once, thinking having a son could be enough but it wasn’t, deep down he was always alone and cold without Fan Xiao, he wanted Fan Xiao’s love back more than anything and couldn’t accepted that he wanted it for a long time, but he wasn’t that man anymore. He trusted Fan Xiao’s love above all else now. He believed Fan Xiao when he said Shulang was his bodhisattva, that he was Fan Xiao’s god too. Not that he wanted to be any of those things, but his husband’s head always worked different, the trauma of his past tried to turn him into something ugly but for Shulang he could never be ugly.

 

“Soulmate?” Shulang asked, he was smirking, he had a soulmate alright, but Lu Chen could never be someone that vicious or smart or cunning. Knowing this now, Shulang couldn’t help but chuckle a little, surprising Fan Xiao because it did sound like he was looking down on his current lover, Shulang couldn’t bring himself to care, loving Fan Xiao apparently changed him more than he thought, not that he ever let himself be lost in Fan Xiao’s games, but it was good not to be too naïve anymore. He could be both good and a little cruel at times, it was about balance.

 

“Aren’t you just too picky?” Shulang asked this time, trying to get Fan Xiao to have a girlfriend, like he would ever allow that.
“What’s your type?” Shulang asked next, knowing how angry he got when last time he asked this.
“Your girlfriend.” his asshole husband responded calmly, he was such an asshole, it was almost funny to watch him like this now.

 

“Well, it’s unfortunate she doesn’t have any sisters.” Shulang said, knowing well what Fan Xiao was about to bullshit, there was a slight shock on Fan Xiao’s face which he recovered quickly, he was looking for the signs of Shulang getting angry at what he was implying but Shulang just kept a small kind smile hanging on his lips. He was going to indulge Fan Xiao’s twisted fantasies for them, but it didn’t mean he wasn’t going to have his own little fun while doing so.

 

Notes:

I guess I'm doing daily updates again... this couple has me on a chokehold currently🫠