Chapter Text
Pain. A searing heat that burned her skin, filled her heart and tore through her soul. Emily had never felt anything like it, never wanted to again. She could barely open her eyes, the red sky jarring and terrifying. Every part of her body ached as the angel attempted to sit up. The air was humid and thick, each breath a massive effort.
The scent of iron was the first to hit her once her senses started to adjust. She could hear screams in the distance, echoing what she felt on the inside. Emily knew she should stand, move, do anything besides just sit in a dingy alley surrounded by unknown liquids. Knowing and doing were two vastly different things to her currently. Her body fought every movement and even just sitting up sapped all of her energy.
This was supposed to be getting off easy?
Reality crashed down all at once on the angel, fallen angel, as tears began to fill her eyes. Emily hugged her knees, wings wrapping around herself protectively as she simply sobbed into her dress.
How could Heaven be so cruel? To send her down here alone, terrified and in crippling pain. Did they even know? It felt as if her body—her soul—was splitting in two and couldn't decide where it belonged. All because she dared fight for the sinners. Sera had warned her, but what did she truly do wrong? Emily was fighting for a soul, the very thing the angels were meant to project. In the end it spelled downfall for Emily. No matter how hard Sera fought for her younger sister, nearly to her own detriment, even the older angel couldn't out-rule a unanimous decision from the Council.
Thus Emily was sent to Hell, doomed to live the rest of eternity as a fallen angel.
The only respite she received in her new eternal punishment was the reassurance that they wouldn't do to her what they did to Lucifer. Every angel had heard the stories of the downright cruel and tortuous acts that had been unleashed against the original sinner. Instead, Emily was sent through a portal.
The last thing she saw of Heaven was Sera's devastated face as the portal dissipated. The last thing she felt was her heart break.
The first thing she felt of Hell was pain. Her body fighting and transforming to adapt to the dark energies that swirled around endlessly. The first thing she saw was red before she had promptly fell into unconsciousness.
Now Emily was awake and truly aware of what was happening for the first time since she's arrived. She appeared to be between two buildings, apparently a mostly remote location if she had gone this long without being found. There was a foreign heaviness on the top of her head that she was afraid to investigate. As if she didn't already know what was there. Fallen angels didn't keep their halos, after-all.
The seraphim knew she needed to stand. She couldn't keep pushing her luck here in this alley, someone would find her eventually. The ever-present pain was not going to simply vanish, no matter how much she wished for it to.
That's what Emily kept telling herself at least. Yet each attempt to remove herself from the wall resulted in her quickly stumbling back towards it. Her body was still healing from being essentially ripped into pieces and reformed in a new shape and was adamantly fighting against her will. Tears of frustration easily mixed with those of her sorrow as her miniscule hope was quickly dwindling into nothing. Occasionally, she could hear footsteps and conversations of sinners passing by her location. How long would it be until one of them noticed her?
Not very long, apparently.
Heavy footfalls echoed in the mostly empty alleyway. It didn't take long for Emily to see their owner as a large demon in the form of a polar bear filled her vision. "Yo!" He screamed at the entrance. "Come check this shit out," he looked back at Emily with a feral grin. Two other demons appeared beside of him quickly after.
"Woah, a new sinner?" A smaller demon inspected her, a glint in his eyes as he watched her feebly struggle to move.
"Aw, looks like she's been cryin' too!" The three demons laughed viciously. Emily during this entire interaction realized that while her body was healing she couldn't even manage to form words.
What had falling done to her body to incapacitate her to this point? She was never a fighter, sure, but she wasn't helpless. Not like this. A sudden thought filled her with deep dread. Was this her punishment? Was falling, being abandoned, not enough? Is she being forced to see the true intention of the sinners she was so desperate to save? She wasn't naive. Believing the sinners could be redeemed wasn't the same as thinking they were all good people.
The three sinners watching the fallen angel were definitely not good people, in life or after.
Emily was not one to simply give up. If anything, that's what landed her in this position to begin with. She glared at the demons eyeing her will ill intent as they joked with one another at her expense. Her body may be weak at the moment but Emily could still feel her magic pulsing within.
The fallen angel took a deep, painful breath while maintaining her vision on the trio around her. Accessing her magic was harder than she expected, harder than it's ever been before. If she thought standing was an impossible task then harnessing the growing light within her was monumental.
"Hey!" The sinners seemed to notice her efforts or possibly feel the growing power around them that originated from Emily. The polar bear immediately reached for her, large paw aiming to wrap around her throat. Emily's anxiety grew ten fold as her magic wasn't quite ready to knock away such a large foe.
Surprisingly it did not matter. Before the bear could reach her a gloved hand wrapped around the demon's thick wrist. Emily winced at the sound of bones snapping in the powerful grip, quickly followed by the pained howl of the sinner.
"Oh fuck," Emily heard one of the sinners half whisper and quickly step back to retreat. One look at the newcomer explained that reaction immediately.
Lucifer Morningstar stood between her and a sinner that was easily twice his size. "Did no one ever teach you to mess with someone your own size?" He had one hand on his hip while the one was still being used to apply the literal bone-crushing grip on the demon. The glance from the King was not lost on Emily as he seemed to quickly give her a once-over and apparently did not like what he saw.
He sighed before casually dropping the sinner's arm and waved the same hand as he spun to look at Emily. The polar bear flew off to the side and entirely out of Emily's sight. She paid no mind to the crashing sound and groans of pain that followed, a fairly easy task when the King of Hell was right in front of you.
Emily knew she should be afraid. Heaven spoke nonstop of the dangers of Hell—of Lucifer. To survive an encounter against him was impossible. He was an Elder Angel, one of the Originals and far more powerful than any below him could imagine. Yet when Emily looked at him all she could see was Charlie. They had the same features, same eccentric mannerisms.
Instead of withering under the Devil's gaze Emily felt almost comforted by it. Lucifer clicked his tongue, barely concealed anger simmering just underneath the surface. Emily could feel it more than she could see it. He examined her face as he knelt down in front of her, a carefully crafted visage of indifference taking over his features.
Suddenly he was wrapping his arms around her and squeezing her into his form. The all-consuming pain that had been wracking Emily's body since her arrival slightly let up. She moved with a start, finally able to control her limbs again. Lucifer, however, must have taken that the wrong way. "Oh shit, that was weird wasn't it?" He stepped back hastily. "I'm used to Charlie—she's a hug first questions later gal, for sure. Hard to, heh," he made a spinning gesture near his head, "rewire I guess."
Emily was stunned. The Devil himself was standing in front of her, the literal boogeyman of Heaven. He wasn't made of shadows or lurked in corners. No, instead he fiddled with his fingers as he waited for her reply. "I—" Emily hesitated as she finally was able to pull herself off the wall without immediately falling back. "Thank you." The younger of the two looked around but her vision was still mainly blocked by the buildings on either side. She hesitantly returned a nervous gaze back towards Lucifer.
"I recognized you," Lucifer began. "From Charlie—her visit to Heaven. She talked about it for days." He backed up as he spoke in order to give Emily a bit more space. "There was one angel in particular that she would go on and on about, you."
A sudden rush of sadness hit Emily. Charlie. Her friend. Tears filled the angel's eyes and quickly spilled over onto her cheeks. "I'm so sorry," Emily rubbed her eyes roughly as she cried. "I was just trying to help her but now I'm—"
"Hey," Lucifer spoke firmly, hands hovering near Emily unsure of whether he should touch her or not. "Don't do that." Emily took a few deep breaths. The fiery air was quick to dry the tear tracks as she slowly calmed herself down. "Your intentions were pure, Heaven is just full of fucking cowards."
Emily clenched her fists. "I'm just so angry. A soul was redeemed and they want to just sweep it under the rug!" She paced in the small alleyway. Her hands finally met with her newfound horns when she went to grip her hair habitually. The urge to pull at it—rip it off—was strong. Every emotion was swirling through her. She wanted to cry more or go on some rampage to release anger. The constant ache in her body did nothing but fuel the volatile emotions.
"Tru-hust me, if anyone understands you it would be me," Lucifer reaffirmed. "They are terrified of change. Sinners being redeemed? That's a pretty big change."
"But not a bad one!"
Lucifer shrugged without giving a direct response. "Look, as much as I would love to keep hanging out in this shitty alley, we should head back." He peered towards the street. "I sort of left unannounced and if I keep Charlie in the dark for too long she might mobilize the whole hotel to find me."
We? "You want me to go with you?" Lucifer was supposed to hate her, practically said it to her face. Even if she was here now Heaven was all she knew, what she was raised to represent.
"Well I didn't come here for the view," Lucifer grimaced as he stepped in a puddle of something. "Or the smell."
"Don't you hate me?" Emily nervously played with a part of her dress as an excuse to avoid eye contact.
"Hate you?" The king turned back to her with surprise evident. He looked up for a moment, giving a bit of thought into his next response. "Hate has been a weird concept for me lately. I thought I would always hate sinners, hate this place, all of it." He spun in a circle as he spoke. "But an angel who fell for what she believed in? That is something I admire," he kept his eyes on her until she looked up to meet them.
Emily's wide-eyed gaze did indeed look up to meet his genuine, soft smile. "You're a lot less scary than Heaven made you out to be," the truth spilled out of her before she even realized she was speaking.
Lucifer huffed a surprised half laugh. "I have my moments," he held out his hand. "Ready?"
Emily rubbed her eyes one last time in hopes that her bout of tears would not be immediately obvious. She was the Angel of Joy in Heaven and she was not afraid to bring that light down to Hell instead. It would do no good to her reputation to bawl her eyes out in front of the first sinners she properly meets. Eventually the girl nodded and took the Devil's hand. "Ready."
Instant teleportation felt weird in comparison to the portals Emily was used to. Instead of the doorway appearing for you to enter it was as if it crashed on top of you, forcing you to relocate. The newly fallen angel scrunched her nose at the wave of nausea that hit her when Lucifer's power encompassed the pair.
Anxiety quickly followed at the though of appearing in front of Charlie and her friends with little explanation, but thankfully Lucifer seemed to have thought that through. Instead of teleporting into the main lobby like Emily had assumed, they were instead in a room full of... ducks? The toys were everywhere, mostly yellow with different accessories on each. She gave a questioning glance towards Lucifer who was frantically kicking ducks under tables and chairs. He shrugged sheepishly once he noticed her stare. "My room was the only one I could guarantee no one would be at," he paused and looked around. "I should've warned you."
"About the spot or the ducks?" Emily questioned, almost amused.
"Both?" Lucifer offered, an octave higher than his normal speaking voice. "No one will know you're here so you have time to get your shi—yourself together," he laughed nervously. "Sorry."
Emily took the opportunity to walk towards the couch near the corner of the room. It, like everything else, was covered in a pile of ducks. She gently pushed a few to the side to make a space to sit before grabbing one to inspect. "Can I ask you something?"
"The ducks? They're just a hobby of sorts—" Lucifer stopped himself when he met Emily's gaze. He walked over to her side and waved a hand, the ducks taking up much of the space suddenly vanishing. "It's not about the ducks, huh?" He sat beside of her. The air around them was grim, both knowing the next line of conversation was going to be less than pleasant.
"Not about the ducks, no." Emily bit her lip as she weighed the yellow toy back and forth in her hands. Being straightforward was usually pretty easy for her, she had no fear to speak her mind. At least until it landed her in Hell, that was. Now as the fallen angel sat beside the Devil she was struggling to find a way to question him without being so blunt, yet kept coming up short. To his credit, Lucifer was sitting patiently waiting for her to sort her thoughts out. Eventually Emily took a deep breath and looked Lucifer in the eyes, feeling deep sadness bubbling up within her again. "Does it always keep hurting so much?" Despite her body being healed there was still a constant searing pain tucked far away inside of her that was impossible to ignore. She could only assume it had to do with being fallen, which Lucifer would then know the answer.
Lucifer looked away sadly, rubbing his face as if he had expected that question and still wasn't sure what the best answer was. "What were you the angel of in Heaven?"
"My job was to bring joy and happiness to the winners," anxiety welling up within Emily.
The way Lucifer clenched his fists and grit his teeth was not a good sign. He was obviously not happy with her answer although she didn't want to imagine why—didn't want to let the sinking feeling win. The king avoided eye contact with her for a few moments, staring at the opposite corner of the room and now taking his own deep breaths. The temperature in the room seemed to raise dramatically and Emily was starting to become increasingly nervous. Did she upset him somehow? She could literally feel his magic trying to break through his restraints holding it in place. The girl dared not move, dared not breath, as she awaited the Devil's response.
Moments passed in absolutely silence and stillness before Lucifer finally turned back to face her. Emily saw the last remnants of red leaving his eyes as the tension in the room settled. "I'm sorry," he breathed. "It's your angelic essence that's causing it. We weren't meant to be separated from Heaven like this. It was meant to be one of my punishments—"
Emily could sense the self-hatred spiral a mile away and took Lucifer's hand in two of her own before he could go too far. "So because we fell it will always feel like this?" The thought was terrifying but if the man in front of her could push though it then what was stopping her from doing the same?
"Yes and no," he squeezed her hand. "The two of us got the short end of the stick, unfortunately." Lucifer gave her a sympathetic smile. "What is there a lack of in Hell?"
There were a million answers Emily could give, but she wasn't stupid. The direction of the conversation was hinting towards the one the Devil was looking for. "Joy."
"Bingo," Lucifer shot a couple finger guns her way. "The thing you were created for is severely missing in Hell and your essence is stretching thin trying to pick up the scraps. It's why I make so many ducks."
Emily felt her throat burn and constrict as she held back tears looking at the piles upon piles of the yellow toys. The sharp pain in her soul—her essence—ringing that much more within her. The angel of joy in a place full of sadness and despair alongside the angel of creation in a place full of death and destruction. Heaven truly was cruel to those it deemed unworthy.
"So what if I made sinners happier?"
"Ha!" Lucifer exclaimed outwardly as if it was the most absurd thing he'd ever heard. Emily looked down at his blatant mockery of her idea, slightly dejected. Lucifer glanced back towards her when she didn't respond. "Shit, uh, sorry," he apologized. "I know you just got here, but you'll see there's a reason people aren't happy. This place fucking sucks," he gestured his arm around before letting it simply fall in defeat along with his head lolling over the back of the couch.
"Charlie seemed happy." Emily thought of her friend's bright smile and enthusiasm. It was as if nothing could bring down the princess. If they didn't look so similar Emily would almost be doubting her relationship to Lucifer looking at the defeated being in front of her.
Lucifer glanced towards Emily out of the side of his eye before sitting up fully. "Charlie is one of the most privileged beings in this realm, she has access to things demons have died trying to achieve. I'm not sure she would be so optimistic if she realized what she was missing out on." The devil seemed almost regretful, guilty even as he spoke of his daughter. He obviously loves her more than anything in the known universe, yet cannot provide some of the same luxuries those in Heaven get full access to. Emily thought Lucifer was definitely being too hard on himself.
"I think you're wrong," Emily stated boldly straight to Lucifer's shocked face. She imagines not many have spoke directly to him in such a manner. "Charlie was in Heaven. I showed her some of my favorite places, she saw how happy the winners were. How much better things were. And you know what? All it did was reinforce what she was doing down here. She wanted to return, happily, in order to help redeem sinners faster, because she saw what they were missing out on. They. She never once asked about herself." The newly fallen didn't realize she had stood and was all but in Lucifer's face with her hands flying in gestures through her spiel until she was done. Realization hit immediately. She just spoke to an Elder Angel like he was her older sister and not someone far more powerful. Emily backed down at once, staring at the ground fearfully awaiting Lucifer's response.
Moments passed anxiously until Emily's nerves couldn't take it anymore and she risked a glance towards the devil. Instead of the angry expression she was imagining he was looking at her in the opposite light. His eyes were wide in glowing adoration, practically sparkling. "You really are just like Charlie, no wonder the two of you got along so well."
"I'm sorry—" Emily tried.
Lucifer held up a hand. "No, don't apologize. I appreciate you being straightforward and honest with me, I've grown accustomed to the opposite. It's refreshing," he paused before settling a more serious gaze on Emily as he stood. "That does remind me of one last thing I should tell you before seeing Charlie again." Emily nodded slowly at his words. "She will want to convince Heaven they made a mistake, or you that you have any chance of returning. Frankly, it's impossible. You can humor her, but please don't fool yourself."
It was painful to hear. Emily would be lying to herself if there wasn't some small part of her that hoped some day Sera would convince the council they made a mistake. Even if return will never happen she couldn't let that defeat her. The angel steeled herself, grateful to Lucifer for not being afraid to tell her the hard truths. "I understand," determination flowed through Emily. She was betrayed by her own for simply wanting to help sinners. She would show them she was right, no matter how long it took. The proof was already sitting in Heaven with a glowing new snake-like body. Charlie's hotel had worked, and Emily was going to be there with her every step of the way, if just a bit closer than originally intended.
Vaguely Emily wondered what it was like for Lucifer in the early days. What had this place done to him? He was good at hiding his true emotions—too good in fact, but the angel of joy was created for the sole purpose of seeing the sadness in people in order to fix it. Beneath Lucifer's facade was a deeply broken man and Emily fears not many close to the king realize it if he is keeping it locked so tightly. To suffer eternal punishment since the dawn of time and still being able to even crack a smile was already a miracle in Emily's eyes. It felt absurd, but there was real pity growing within her while looking at Lucifer. When the day started she never would have assumed she would be feeling bad for the devil himself.
Emily also didn't expect to actually be thrown into Hell, but here she was.
"Welp," Lucifer stretched all four limbs before standing. "I better head down. You can come if you're ready." He walked towards the door but didn't go to grab the handle yet, waiting.
What point was there in stalling any longer? Emily no longer felt on the verge of tears at all times and seeing Charlie again would probably help cheer her up. Surely if she could get through the conversations she just had with Lucifer without fully breaking down then whatever the others had in store would be easy.
"I'm ready," Emily followed Lucifer to the outside hallway as he opened the door . She was ready to face Hell with her head held tall. No punishment was going to prevent her from doing what she was made to do. All of her sadness, anger and betrayal only served to fuel the fire of her flames. Heaven would realize that she was right, that souls truly do deserve a second chance.