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Rumi's heart nearly stopped when Zoey walked into their living room.
They had been getting ready all day for Celine's Christmas party, promising to only see each other’s outfits before leaving. So when her eyes fell on the maknae, Rumi could have combusted.
Maybe it was the white sparkly shirt that left her entire freckled back on display, or the tight red jeans she'd paired it with. Or it was her hair — half up in braided twin buns and half cascading down her shoulders in soft, silky dark curls. Rumi felt that familiar urge to brush her hand through it, much like she did every time the maknae had her hair down.
But if she was being honest, it was the whole picture.
If there was one thing she could not lie to herself about, it was that Zoey was absolutely stunning. So much so that all Rumi could do was stare.
And long.
She's had this stupid crush for over a year now — okay, she has had this crush ever since she first laid eyes on her — but things had been complicated then, what with her keeping a huge secret from them and not being able to be close like she wanted. So she had brushed it off in the beginning, promising herself she'd get over it… eventually.
It turned out that, eventually, her crush grew impossibly stronger instead, and Rumi had no idea what to do with it. So, naturally, she hoarded the feeling until one day, she couldn't keep it in anymore. She enjoyed that Zoey had been out on a shoot and all but barged into Mira's room and told her all about it. The taller girl only had one thing to say on the matter.
"Oh, Rums, that is quite obvious." She had snickered softly, patting her shoulder. "You look at her like she's a work of art."
So, yeah, apparently she hadn't been as subtle as she thought at stealing glances at Zoey. She had freaked out for a solid twenty minutes that night, worried that Zoey had noticed and that it could potentially ruin the friendship they had built over the years.
To that, Mira had groaned loudly and said, "God, you two are such idiots!" as she threw her hands up and walked out of the room towards the kitchen.
Rumi has no idea what that was about.
Since then, every time she had been enticed by the younger girl, which happened more often than she'd like to admit, Mira was there to pull her out of it or listen to her rant about how gorgeous she looked at practice, or how amazing she was at singing or even how she wished Zoey had pinned her longer to the floor during practice.
Bad train of thought, she knew. But she couldn't really help it.
Mira would tell her, time and time again, to talk to Zoey. To tell her how she felt, like that would do any good. She'd be okay getting rejected by anyone, but she is sure she wouldn't get over being rejected by Zoey — and ruin the perfect connection they had.
An elbow on her ribs snapped her out of her thoughts, and Rumi spun towards the pink-haired girl, brows furrowed in confusion as she caressed where she had poked.
"Ow," she complained. "What was that for?"
"You're staring," Mira said, nodding at Zoey as she looked at herself in the mirror and fixed her lipstick. Rumi wishes she could ruin both their lipsticks. "Not subtly. Knock it out or just tell her she is pretty."
"Mira!" She said through gritted teeth, gaze landing on Zoey again to make sure she didn't overhear it. "I can't, you know that. I don't want to make it awkward."
"Helpless!" Mira said under her breath. "Helpless gays!" She shook her head, falling onto the couch with a groan.
Zoey approached them, hips swaying in a way that made Rumi dizzy, hair flowing perfectly down her shoulders. Was she moving in slow motion, or was it just the way Rumi always saw her? Zoey threw herself next to Mira, sagging against the couch and into the dancer.
"You look dashing," Zoey commented, tone light but teasing.
And she had a point. Mira looked incredible in her long-sleeved, winter black dress that fell to her mid-thigh, hugging her figure perfectly. Dark, thick pentyhose covered her long legs, and her hair was completely down for once.
She looked stunning.
Rumi had chosen a burgundy sweater that fell loosely around her frame, matching it with a short black skirt with a slit on the side. She had stolen one of Mira's pantyhose — one of those two-layered ones that have a thicker pair underneath that kept her from the cold — and completed the look with black boots. Her hair was still styled in her signature braid. She always felt more comfortable with it.
She looked at Zoey again, admiring the soft smile on her lips as she and Mira bickered back and forth about something Rumi didn't really pay attention to — because how could she when the maknae looked like that? Her shirt flowed every time she moved, teasing more skin. Rumi wishes she could look away.
"You look beautiful too, Rumi," Zoey said, cheeks slightly pink and eyes watching her from top to bottom. Her entire body warmed at the gesture.
"Oh, uhm," She laughed awkwardly, brushing a strand of hair that wasn't really there behind her ears as heat flooded her cheeks. "Thank you. Uhm, won't you be cold like that?" Rumi nearly winced after the words left her mouth, but managed to stop it just in time. She was meant to tell her she liked her top, not to cover it up! The last thing she wanted was for the maknae to cover her freckled shoulders and beautiful naked back.
"I'm taking a coat," she said with a soft giggle. "Plus, if I weren't and I got cold, you'd let me borrow your sweater, wouldn't you, Unnie?"
Fire burned her face, patterns flickering the softest pink against her skin. It's when Zoey said things like that — obliviously flirty — that Rumi wishes she could do something about it. Instead, she blurted out the first thing that came to her head.
"I don't have anything underneath it."
Zoey's smile is gone at that, and she swears she sees the maknae's eyes darken for a second, throat bobbing as if it was hard to swallow. She stared at Rumi's sweater for a beat too long, but Rumi preferred not to think about what that meant — or what she wanted Zoey to do with it. That was a dangerous train of thought.
"Alright, you two, car's here," Mira said, voice cutting through the thick silence as she stood up from the couch and blocked her phone. "We don't want to be late and repeat last year's incident, do we?"
"Nope!" Rumi said with wide eyes, at the same time Zoey shot up from the couch with a rushed "let's go!"
—
Celine's Christmas parties never disappointed. The room buzzed with laughter and chatter, the kind of sound that made the air feel alive. Soft carols played in the background, blending seamlessly with the clinking of glasses and bursts of conversation.
Ever since she was a young child, Rumi remembers how excited she got for this specific date. The food — platters of mandu, tteokpokki, and kimbap — was always amazing, and the decorations were breathtaking. Strings of golden fairy lights were draped across the ceiling, casting a warm glow over the room, and a towering tree sat at the corner, blinking lights bringing it to life and shining against the ornaments.
After she grew older, she learned that the drinks were just as amazing.
Barely ten minutes into the party, Rumi already had her favorite drink in hand — a pink drink made with strawberry-infused soju, Yakult, and ice. Zoey had chosen a soju sunrise, as she always did, which Rumi thought was fitting, because that was exactly what Zoey reminded her of — a unique, colorful, gorgeous sunrise.
Rumi, Zoey, and Mira found themselves swept into conversations, sometimes together, sometimes apart, but always circling back to each other. Don't get her wrong, talking to other people was fun, but nothing beat standing in the corner, glasses in hand, laughing and having fun with her best friends.
Celine moved gracefully through the crowd, greeting everyone with warmth, her presence magnetic and reassuring, and the picture of class. Every now and then, she'd introduce Rumi, Zoey, and Mira to new partners or a new addition to the musical team that would be working with them on their next album. These parties served not only as a celebration, but as an opportunity for them to meet their team or find potential investors or collaborators.
Rumi never minded it.
She'd always been quite excited for it, in turn.
Since she was a child, her favorite part was that Celine had mistletoe scattered through the place, waiting for a couple to stop just underneath it. She used to love watching couples' surprised expressions when they noticed it, blushing for a second before they leaned in for a quick kiss.
She'd dream of the day that it would happen to her. Not only the mistletoe kiss, but love.
She has always been a daydreamer and a hopeless romantic, but she had never felt what it is like to be in love with someone. Or have someone be in love with you. She yearned for that feeling, for the moment when someone would finally choose her.
For years, she'd stand under a mistletoe in hopes that someone would find her there and shake her world. It had never happened. So slowly, she stopped waiting for it, counting on it. She simply accepted that maybe love wasn't meant for her at all.
Then, one day, Celine walked into her sword training class, a small, black-haired girl trailing after her, freckles dusting her face, and beautiful and doe brown eyes that seemed to bore into Rumi's soul. Zoey's impact was immediate and with such force that Rumi couldn't have prepared if she wanted to.
"This is Zoey," Celine had introduced, a smile on her lips. "She'll be your bandmate, the rapper I told you about. Do you mind showing her around? I have a meeting to get to."
One day was all it took for Rumi to fall head over heels for the maknae — even if she would never admit it to herself then.
She caught herself standing under the mistletoe again. Party after party, she'd wait for… someone… to find her, but it had never happened either. So maybe she wasn't that wrong after all — these things just weren't meant to happen to her.
"You're awfully quiet," Zoey nudged her shoulder, an easy smile on her lips. "What's on your mind?"
"Oh, nothing," Rumi smiled, sipping on her drink. "These parties just bring old memories."
"Yeah?" Zoey said, eyes shining with curiosity. "I'd love to hear them."
"It's stupid, really," Rumi laughed dismissively, shaking her head. "Just something I used to do before we all met."
"Now we have to know," Mira urged, hiding her interest behind that cool and nonchalant tone Rumi learned to read into over the years.
"I just always loved the mistletoe idea," Rumi said, a little quieter, brushing her finger around the edge of her cup and completely avoiding their gaze. "I liked to watch people kiss under it."
"I've always wanted to be kissed under a mistletoe," Zoey giggles, and Rumi's heart jolts — if at the sound or what she just said, she doesn't know for sure. "It seems like the perfect place for a first kiss."
"Y-yeah," Rumi choked, hidding her face behind a long gulp of what she is sure is her third drink. "It would."
Mira's eyes met hers across the table for a brief second, but Rumi saw everything she wanted to convey with it, though she ignored it. It's not like she could drag Zoey under a goddamn Christmas decoration only so she could finally kiss her — like her stare had suggested.
She wasn't even sure Zoey wanted that.
"Girls!"
The three of them turned around, smiles plastered on their faces. "Hi, Bobby!"
"Oh, don't you look stunning tonight," He beamed as he approached them. "And every other night, of course."
Rumi chuckled, and the two other girls joined a second later. "You look fantastic, Bobby. I love the sparkly suit."
"You do know you don't need to wear the shirt with our faces in it everywhere, right?" Zoey giggled, pointing at the shirt Bobby wore religiously at every single concert or event.
"I do," He nodded. "But I love this shirt, especially being the only one in the whole world with your autographs in it. I just stopped by to tell you that Celine has told me to get you to circulate a little. You've been sitting here for way too long."
The three of them eyed all the food they still had on their plates and groaned in unison. "Why does she always interrupt our snacking?" Rumi complained, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"I didn't even get to finish my kimbap," Mira cried, shoulders slumped and head thrown back.
Zoey laughed at them, light and bubbly, then bit into a mandu. "You two are such drama queens," She said with her mouth full, then swallowed her bite. "The good thing is that we can come back with a whole new plate after. Dessert will be served soon."
Both Mira and Rumi perked at that, the thought of gingerbread cookies, rice cakes, and chocolate truffles watering Rumi's mouth. She slid off her seat, fixing her skirt and tossing her braid over her shoulder, then gave Zoey and Mira a determined stare.
They immediately knew what she was up to.
Every Christmas, during dessert, they had a competition going on to see who could eat the most gingerbread cookies. Whoever won could give the other two a dare — dares that very often ended up on headlines and pissed Celine off while giving Bobby a heart attack. They've been doing this for ages, and it's one of Rumi's favorite parts of the night.
She was looking forward to it this year. She had already even bought the sweater she wanted them to use. They were terrible and had terrible sayings in them. She would have them go get her some boba tea in them, while she secretly recorded them while she waited. Poor Bobby would have to scavenger hunt the internet to delete the pictures later.
"This year is mine," Mira declared as she stood up, too. "I already picked out the dare."
"In your dream, gorgeous," Zoey chimed with a fierce and defiant look in her eyes. "You'll both go dooown!"
"Oh, no," Bobby facepalmed himself, groaning into his hand. "Please don't do what you did last year!"
Zoey gasped in mock offense. "Excuse you!! They looked amazing in elf clothes, singing the Christmas version of Golden."
"Singing 'Called a problem elf 'cause I messed the shelf, but now that's how I'm getting laid' and uploading it to your social media was not amazing." He deadpanned.
"One of her best works, actually, Bobby," Mira said, holding back a laugh.
"We were actually talking about singing a cover of that on our next concert as a surprise to the crowd." Rumo nodded, face serious even though she was nearly bursting out laughing.
"What?" He squealed, eyes shifting between the three of them in pure panic.
For their credit, they held it in for one, two, three beats before loud laughter exploded between them, Zoey doubling over, Rumi wiping a tear before it could ruin her makeup, and Mira supporting a hand on Bobby's shoulder as she crackled.
Oh, he was too easy.
"You three will be the death of me!" He groaned, voice actually breathy. "I should be getting paid 4%." He mumbled under his breath as he walked away.
"We'll actually kill him one day," Mira chuckled as they made their way back into the crowd.
They part ways once more, finding different groups to greet and entertain them for a second or two. Even as she talked, though, Rumi caught her eyes searching for Zoey across the room, a smile growing on her lips every time she found her. Their gaze would meet every now and then, and Rumi would feel warm all over.
When her social battery finally ran out, she politely excused herself from a conversation with two musical producers who worked on How It's Done and made her way to the balcony outside. Snow fell in chunks, painting the backyard in a fluffy white that shone against the setting sun.
Rumi took in a deep, cool breath, watching the flocks of snow with quiet admiration. The loud chatter of the party blended into the background music, and she leaned against the railing, staring into the sky as if waiting for something — though she wasn't sure what.
Wanting or not, every single year, she'd find herself there, letting the cool air keep her company as she sat with her thoughts, quiet and alone.
And waiting.
Always waiting.
Shuffling behind her caught her attention, and she turned towards the source. A couple scrumbled out onto the balcony, hands locked together and huge smiles on their faces. Her pulse jolted in anticipation, because they stopped by the door, leaning into each other and giggling over something the woman said.
And there, hanged just above them, a mistletoe shifted slightly against the wind.
Both of them looked up at the same time, giggles melting into soft, fond smiles as their gazes fell on each other. The man said something, and the woman's smile was brighter than anything Rumi had seen before. Slowly, they leaned into each other, lips meeting halfway in a soft, lingering kiss.
Rumi's heart squeezed as she turned back to the falling snow, a heavy sigh escaping her. She got so lost in her head that she missed the approaching footsteps. Mira leaned against the railing by her side, watching the snow quietly.
"I saw that," The tall girl said quietly after a long beat. "She gave you an opening to do that, Rums."
Rumi only scoffed, shaking her head. "She only said that, Mir. She wasn't saying she wanted me to do it."
"You've been stealing glances at each other all night," Mira pointed out, as if it were obvious.
"So?" Rumi moved her shoulders. "You've been eyeing that producer's daughter all night, too."
"I just kissed her under a mistletoe," Mira said nonchalantly.
"What?" Rumi finally turned towards her, eyes wide. "How?"
"My advice is always ruin the friendship, Rumi," Mira winked. "Better that than regret it all your life."
With that, she was gone, disappearing into the crowd like she'd never been there at all and leaving Rumi standing there, thoughts racing like shooting stars. The thing was, she did not want to ruin the friendship she had with Zoey — she loved it too much to ruin because she couldn't handle a little crush.
But she also didn't know how much longer she could handle it. Nearly six years were six years too many, and she needed to lock in, to stop being a coward or actually get over it. So which would it be?
She wished she had an answer for that.
Sighing, she walked towards the entrance, leaning against the doorframe as she scanned the room for the girl who made her world stop and spin at the same time. When she found her, their gazes met, and the smile Zoey gave her was brighter than the fairy lights decorating the ceiling.
Rumi smiled back, because how could she not? Zoey, apparently, took it as an invitation and slowly made her way to her. Every step she took sped up Rumi's heart in a way she couldn't control as her entire world narrowed until Zoey was the only person in the room.
Zoey quietly stepped in front of Rumi, a soft, easy smile on her lips as she leaned against the other side of the door. They were silent for a moment, watching each other, then away at the party or the yard, only to find the other again.
Rumi searched her brain for something to say, anything that would get Zoey to stay there longer. Zoey bit her lips, cheeks a little flushed, enhancing the constellation of freckles dusting her cheeks and nose.
"Aren't you cold?" Rumi asked, because the maknae's hand was wrapped around herself, her coat was somewhere else in the room
"A little," She confessed.
"I wish I could give you my sweater," Rumi said honestly, watching pink cover Zoey's cheeks.
"Maybe you could hug me instead," Zoey blurted out, and Rumi's eyes grew wide in surprise.
Stop being a coward or regret it all your life?
The question sat heavier in her chest now that the two options were right there in front of her like those butterfly effect videogames Zoey had once shown her. She hesitated for a few beats, weighing one choice against the other, then finally, she opened her arms as she carefully studied Zoey's beautiful face.
"Come here," Rumi said, and it took Zoey a second to walk into her arms like she belonged there.
Rumi wrapped her arms around the maknae, who rested her head against her chest. She willed her heart to slow down, even if just so Zoey wouldn't feel how uneven it was by having her this close. Rumi's hand found the shorter girl's bare back, and she swore Zoey's breath hitched under her touch, though it was so fast Rumi might as well have imagined it.
"Better?" She asked in a whisper.
"Much," Zoey replied in the same hushed tone.
They stood there for a second, reveling in each other's warmth. From a distance, Rumi spotted bubblegum hair moving through the crowd, and as if feeling her stare, Mira turned and found her gaze, eyeing Zey in her arms, then back up at her.
"Kiss her," She mouthed, and Rumi's eyes widened as she almost imperceptibly shook her head.
"No," She mouthed back, and Mira rolled her eyes. Hugging Zoey had been a giant step in her book, so why couldn't Mira leave it at that?
And then the dancer was making her way to them, cutting through the crowd with determination. When she got closer, Rumi begged with her eyes, and all Mira did was smile and mouth "Trust me." As she approached, Zoey lifted her head, though she made no effort to pull away.
"There you are," Mira said, as if she hadn't known exactly where they'd been all this time. "I've been looking for you."
"I found Rumi, and I was cold. Now I'm warm," Zoey said, snuggling back into Rumi's space. The half-demon can't stop the soft smile that grows on her lips.
"Right, we should get ready for the gingerbread cookies," Mira hummed, then a smirk grew, wicked but fond. Whatever it meant, Rumi knew she'd want to either kill her or thank her later. "I'll get them ready. But, uhm, you should look up." With a wink, Mira left them.
Zoey and Rumi's eyes met before they lifted to the ceiling above them. There, dangling in a blur of green and red, was a mistletoe. Rumi's breath caught in her throat, heart thundering inside her ribcage. She couldn't look away from it, definitely not at the girl in front of her, as she tried to understand if this was real or wishful thinking.
"Rums?" Zoey's voice was quiet and hesitant, but there was something else in there, a warm undertone that sounded slightly like a plea.
Rumi lowered her gaze, finding the maknae's eyes and nearly getting lost in their depth. She swallowed dryly, unsure of what came next. Her heart wanted one thing, but her mind kept telling her she'd ruin it. She'd lose her because of it.
Better that than regret it all your life.
"Y-yeah?" Rumi breathed, unable to look away.
"It's a, uhm, it's a mistletoe," Zoey pointed out, confirming Rumi wasn't delusional after all. "Rule is a rule."
"You—" Rumi stuttered, mind reeling. "You want me to, hm… You and me… Like us… k-kiss?" She knew she wasn't making sense, Zoey would have to bear with her.
Zoey giggled, detangling from her just enough to cup her cheeks between her now-warm hands. She didn't say anything for a beat, searching for Rumi's eyes until they locked. Rumi let out a shaky breath as Zoey ever so slowly came closer and closer. Rumi stood frozen, watching the maknae as if any sudden movements would scare her away.
"I don't want to ruin our friendship," Rumi blurted out, and Zoey stopped moving, brows furrowing.
"Unnie," She said slowly, as if speaking to a child. "I want you to ruin it. Right here. Ruin our friendship under the mistletoe."
Rumi took all but a second to pull Zoey impossibly closer by her hips until they were chest against chest, just a breath away. Then Rumi closed the final distance, and her chest exploded like it was the first tick of the clock after New Year's countdown and not Christmas. Her entire body felt electric at the first brush of lips — it was delicate and tentative, nearly hesitant, but it woke every nerve of her body anyway.
It wasn't long before it grew surer, less careful, and more exploring, tasting. Zoey tasted of gingerbread, soju, and something else — something sweet and that Rumi was sure she'd only ever taste on her lips. Rumi hummed, pulling the maknae closer — if even possible — one hand tangling in the nape of her neck and tightening loosely on her hair.
Rumi felt as though she were in heaven. Kissing Zoey was everything and nothing like she imagined. It was intoxicating, addicting, and Rumi wished there was more air in her lungs so she wouldn't have to pull away ever. When she finally ran out of air, she rested her forehead against Zoey's, eyes still closed as their breaths mingled between them.
"Wow," Zoey panted, a soft giggle flowing out of her. The sound made Rumi's entire body tingle.
"How's that for a ruined friendship?" Rumi joked, a huff of laughter flowing out of her.
"I can't wait for you to ruin it again," Zoey whispers.
So there, under the mistletoe, Rumi kissed her again, and again, and again, until there was no coming back from it.
They kissed until Zoey made her believe that, maybe, these things did happen to someone like her after all.