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Considering it was rather well-known that metals were notorious heat conductors, Junpei wondered why the hell everything was being served in metal chalices.
His hands prickled at the touch, the cool drink radiating its frosty temperature into his skin. Even if it was mildly uncomfortable, its sweet, tangy, and pleasant taste made sure it wouldn’t be discarded. That, and by now it was practically habit for him to have a drink of sorts in his hands. Junpei scowled, and took another sip of his drink. Non-alcoholic, of course, because he refused to reflect badly on Akane at her first official Crash Keys Christmas party. Even if the cacophony of grating noise made him want to get black-out drunk, he couldn’t. unfortunately.
It wasn’t a Christmas party in the traditional sense – for one, it was mid-January. But seeing as their Christmas was spent in the hell that was DCOM, Akane argued for a belated celebration. Who was Junpei to disagree? Most notably, it wasn’t even exclusively Crash Keys members – after DCOM, he, Sigma, and Phi officially joined the organization, though the others were lagging behind. From what he could tell, Diana was hesitant to change her career path from being a nurse to whatever the Kurashikis wanted her to do. Carlos had also messaged him that he wouldn’t be joining until Maria recovered fully – no surprise there. Yet those two were at the party, as well as a plethora of other familiar faces. Seven and Hazuki were chatting happily with Alice next to the punch bowl, while Light and Aoi seemed to be teasing a frantic-looking Eric. From where Junpei stood next to the exit, he could even see Phi engaged in what looked to be a deep conversation with Hazuki’s kids (Nona and Ennea, he somehow knew), while Akane and Sigma stood together in front of the roaring fireplace at the back of the room.
A pang of jealousy ripped through Junpei’s stomach. Gripping the cup in his hands, he drained the remaining liquid. Fucking Sigma, that secretive bastard. Almost pulling Kanny away from him, never including him in any of their top-secret discussions. It was as if he didn’t trust Junpei, even though he had a goddamn morphogenetic link to Akane, even though he went through DCOM and two Nonary Games and—
And Junpei couldn’t blame Sigma. No one had noticed him because he didn’t want them to. If he were being honest with himself, the last thing Junpei wanted was to be here. In the last year he’d changed. It had been months since he talked with most of the people here. How could he face them, when he did nothing but cause them pain?
The past year was a blur to Junpei. He spent most of his time in a half-drunk haze, solving crimes and chasing after Akane. Despite keeping in contact with the survivors from the second Nonary Game for the first month or so, it didn’t last. The moment Seven got him a job as a detective, he stopped replying to Light and Clover’s messages. Hazuki’s, too. And when they’d destroyed Free the Soul’s base and Seven’s intel dried up, he’d abandoned that man as well.
Fuck. Junpei cursed and downed the rest of his drink. What was he even doing here? Everyone belonged, everyone but him. He shouldn’t have let Akane talk him into coming, shouldn’t have let her sweet words and soft voice convince him that he should stay. The sight of everyone together, laughing and happy and normal when he had changed so much in the past year, became a shell of himself and the person he once was, sickened him. Here, Junpei was too exposed. He couldn’t let everyone see how far he’d fallen. He couldn’t--
“Junpei?”
Junpei’s breath caught in his throat. “Clover?” he asked, knowing the answer. Instantly, he focused on the sudden appearance of someone so familiar. How long was it since they last saw each other? Junpei had no idea. Only after the conclusion of DCOM did he find out that she (and Alice) were kidnapped by Akane – again – and kept in cryostasis. But the girl before him looked less kidnapped and more, well, healthy. Her hair was dyed a slightly lighter pink, and her clothes were somehow even more revealing than the schoolgirl garb she often wore last year, but he could recognize her in a heartbeat. “You-”
He didn’t get to finish his sentence as she lunged forwards, wrapping her arms around his midsection. The sheer force of her hug sent him stumbling a step backwards. What… what was this? Clover was… hugging him?
“You idiot! It’s been so long!” Clover cried into his shirt, her voice wet. “You never answered my calls! I was so worried!”
Oh. That didn’t make sense. He expected Clover to be angry with him, to hit him for disappearing or cursing him out or taking an axe but instead, she just sounded worried. So goddamn worried. Because of him.
Something ran down Junpei’s cheeks. He ignored it. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around her, bringing her even closer. “I’m… I’m sorry.” He choked out. “I didn’t mean to make you worry.”
It didn’t seem real that she cared about him. He didn’t deserve it. Not then, when he was still reeling from the events of the second Nonary Game, and not now, after he’d abandoned everyone just to search for Akane. Ever since the conclusion of the Decision Game, floodgates of memories from timelines not his own opened in Junpei’s mind. He hated tuning into their frequencies, only able to suppress them during the day. But at night…
(Somehow, Junpei knew she’d joined SOIS because he went off the deep end in his search for Akane. She joined SOIS, and got kidnapped by the very woman he was searching for, and if this was the timeline God abandoned then she would’ve been frozen for forty-five years.)
Clover retracted an arm, only to hit him lightly on the shoulder. “You’re such an idiot. Of course you made me worry! Light, too!”
Junpei winced. He’d spent a couple weeks living with the Fields after everything that happened in Building Q – he couldn’t sleep in an apartment that wasn’t safe anymore. Who knew how they found out about his newfound sleeping issues, though they quickly offered up a place on their couch. Said couch served him well, especially between dropping out of university and quitting his old job, to Seven getting him a new job as a detective. After that…
Well, after that, he left. Got a lead about Akane and never looked back.
“How’s Light?” Junpei asked.
“Terrified I’ll be kidnapped again,” Clover said, as blunt as a hammer. “He took you leaving really hard. And when Alice and I were taken, well… he looked like a mess when I returned.”
“Oh.”
Junpei should have expected that. Looking back on everything, he should never have up and disappeared on Light and Clover like that. He should have left a note, or told them what he was doing, or- or something! Fuck, he was such an idiot, wasn’t he? Always chasing after Akane, always throwing everything away just to find her, always—
“I’m sorry,” Junpei whispered, hugging her tighter.
He felt himself melt into Clover’s embrace, both unable and unwilling to let her go. When was the last time he’d been hugged? A real, warm, hug. Junpei couldn’t remember. It scared him how vulnerable he was at that moment. Anyone could come behind them – with a knife, a golden gun, an axe – and kill them with ease. The residual fear from memories not his own of Clover taking advantage of a similar situation weighed heavily in his stomach. As much as Junpei trusted her, he couldn’t forget.
It took too long and not long enough for Clover to eventually detach herself from their embrace. Taking a step back, she stared him up and down as if trying to locate any faults or flaws. Whatever she saw, it made eyes shine in a sadness not befitting such a bright person.
“I didn’t think I’d see you here.” She eventually said.
Junpei hummed. “Yeah, well… Akane convinced me to.”
Clover raised an eyebrow. “Convinced you, or made you?”
“Convinced me,” Junpei repeated convictingly. “We’re, uh, living together at the moment. It was either stay here or get a hotel room for the night.”
Clover frowned. “Junpei…” she murmured with enough pity to make Junpei cringe. He didn’t need a morphogenetic connection to her to know what she was thinking; it was written on her face as clear as day.
“Don’t.” Junpei said. Last time he saw her, Clover had a fairly large chip on her shoulder from Akane and Aoi’s actions during the first nonary games. He couldn’t imagine anything but her resentment increasing once she was kidnapped a third time. “Look, we’re taking it slow, okay? She’s… Akane promised she won’t leave, not again. We’re both getting help.”
At the mention of help, a small, frail smile spread across Clover’s face. “That’s good. As long as you’re finally happy, then everything is fine.”
Happy. What a strong word. Junpei couldn’t remember a time in the past year when he was truly happy. 2028 come and went with heartache and sorrow and the gut-wrenching pain of being left behind. But maybe…
“Are you sure...?”
Clover put her hands on her hips, staring up at him challengingly. “Yeah. I still hate Akane, don’t get me wrong. I can’t forgive her for trapping Light in that coffin and making us think he was dead. Or how she used you and then went off and ghosted us for a year!” Her voice rose in fervor, “And then, as a cherry on top, she kidnaps Alice and I! Not only did she basically ruin your life, but ours, too!”
Junpei shrunk back. Clover… wasn’t wrong, exactly. And yet, a part of him still longed to defend Akane. Her actions – as much as he hated to admit it – were mostly justified. He’d never see the world in the same fourth-dimensional way as Akane did, but he could glean enough from her thoughts to know that every action she took had a reason behind it.
As quickly as Clover’s intensity came, it seemed to bleed from her body until only a tired girl remained. “But, I guess, it all worked out in the end. All of us are alive – that’s the only thing that matters. I can finally move past all of these stupid Nonary Games and you can come home.”
That knocked the breath from Junpei’s lungs. Home. That’s right… Clover was right.
Home was with Akane, being by her side. But for those brief weeks early last year, home was with Light and Clover in their cramped apartment. It was surprise visits from Hazuki and her children, and Seven’s gentle mentorship. It was Carlos’ rough hands and warm heart, and Aoi’s enjoyable banter, and—
“You’re right,” Junpei whispered. “I won’t leave again.”
Clover regarded him for a pregnant second, then two, then held out her hand, pinkie finger outstretched. “Promise?”
A month ago, the sheer innocence of such a child-like gesture would have made him either laugh or cry – or both. Yet today, Junpei wrapped his own pinkie finger around hers and shook earnestly. “I promise.”
Even though there was a long road to healing, to finding himself in a world so riddled with hate and despair and pain, Junpei knew he wouldn’t leave anyone behind again. If he hadn’t before, maybe Clover would’ve never been kidnapped. Maybe he wouldn’t have been so easily tempted by the bottom of a bottle. There were so many maybes and none of them mattered. This was the good timeline, the best one for everyone that he knew. There were no more do-overs, no more SHIFTing, not if he had any say in the matter.
-
On the couch, hours later:
“I’ve spoken to Akane, by the way. She promised not to kidnap you again.” Junpei blurted out, then winced. What a tactless thing to say.
Luckily, Clover barked out a short burst of laughter. “Fourth time’s the charm, right? Don’t worry, she won’t catch me off guard again.”
Not if I have any say in it, Junpei thought.
“Unfortunately for the Kurashikis, there will be no opportunity to kidnap her,” Light chimed in. “For you see, Clover is grounded indefinitely.”
“Hey!”
Titters of laughter rang around the group. Junpei watched Clover try to lunge for her brother only to be stopped by Alice. Besides them, Seven joined in on their ribbing. They all laughed – not at Clover’s expense, but with her. Everyone was… happy.
Only then did Junpei catch Akane’s eye from across the room. She stared at him, fire burning in her gaze, ring glinting in the fireplace's light. Are you okay? She seemed to silently ask. And surrounded by his friends, Junpei nodded.
Never better.