Chapter Text
Sebastian had successfully done what he’d promised himself he’d do. He’d played his part during Blaine’s proposal to Kurt like the good little actor he was. He smiled. He sang. He kept the contents of his stomach down when Kurt said yes.
God, he felt so fake.
Of course, Sebastian’s smile wasn’t the only one with a fake smile plastered across his face.
There was Kurt’s… huh, would you really count it as a smile or a after photo of plastic bad plastic surgery. I mean in all seriousness Sebastian had no idea how Kurt planned on being an actor on a Broadway stage when the best that shithead could muster for Blaine’s proposal was some frozen twisted grin that looked like it belonged in a horror movie. How the hell no one else noticed how twisted and contorted Kurt’s face was when he said yes to Blaine, it was beyond Sebastian’s ability to comprehend.
Then there was the smile Blaine’s BFF Sam Evans had plastered across his face. Unlike Kurt’s it actually looked believable. Sebastian himself would have fallen for it if he hadn’t spent so many years learning to perfect his own to know the signs of fake happiness.
This of course intrigued the Warbler. I mean after all you’d think Blaine’s closest friend would be on top of the world seeing how happy his best friend was. Something was going on with the young blond and simply out of the need to distract him of his Kurt induced misery Sebastian decided he was going to find out what was going on. So, when the ridiculous over the top event was over and Blaine’s blond bombshell snuck away from the crowd Sebastian decided to trail after him.
He found the young man in the empty Dalton Academy Library nestled into one of the couches with an open flask in hand and watery eyes staring into the distance.
Sebastian approached the young man and knocked on the top of a reading table pulling the Sam’s attention to him.
“You’re Sam, Sam Evans,” Sebastian asked him even though he already knew the answer. “Blaine’s ride or die, right?”
“Yep,” Sam said, his lips popping the “P” at the end.
“Are you okay,” Sebastian asked.
“Nope,” Sam answered popping the “P” again giving Sebastian the impression he’d been hitting that flask hard.
Sebastian felt a bit uneasy, as memories of Karofsky’s suicide attempt last year still haunted him last year. He wasn’t going to make the same mistakes and push away someone who might need help.
“Do you want to talk about,” Sebastian asked as he flopped on the couch next to Sam.
Sam turned his head and stared at Sebastian, clearly contemplating the offer. Holy shit, was this guy wasted. Clearly, he’d been drinking allot more than whatever was in the flask. How the hell had Sebastian, or anyone noticed during the proposal.
Sam finally laid his head bacon the couch and closed his eyes.
“Do you think it’s possible to be, like, totally straight but still fall in love with a guy?”
Sebastian bit his lip. He didn’t know where this conversation was going, but he knew he knew he had to be careful. The last thing he needed was the guilt of hurting someone else.
“Yes,” Sebastian answered earnestly. “I think it’s called something like ‘mixed-orientation’ or something. Is that why you’re upset? Because you have feelings for Blaine?”
There was another long pause before Sam answered again.
“I had to work this job back in Kentucky,” Sam said choosing his words carefully. “It was kind of a club.”
Sebastian of course had heard all the stories of Sam being a stripper, but he wasn’t going to say anything. He understood why the young blond wouldn’t want to talk about it, especially to a guy who’d tried to blackmail his friend Finn with a photo-shopped nude picture.
“Sometimes a guy would come in upset that his girlfriend was there, or there’d be some new dancer… uhm… I mean employee whose partner was forcing them to work there.”
Sebastian hated how easy it was for him to piece together and understand what Sam was trying to tell him.
“You mean the guys were abusive,” Sebastian asked, swallowing back a lump that was starting to build in his throat.
“Yeah,” Sam answered. “I saw so much of it that after a while I could just pick those types of guys out of the crowd.”
“Do you think he hits Blaine,” Sebastian asked trying to carefully choose his own words.
“No, I never saw signs of that. It was always emotional, and manipulative. He would throw words around like ‘alpha gay’ to make Blaine feel like he was less. Like, because Blaine could probably pass for straight, he didn’t understand what it was like to be a “Real Gay” like Kurt. Does that make sense,” Sam asked afraid he might have explained it wrong.
“Yeah, it makes sense.”
“He constantly tore Blaine down so he could be the one to shine. If Blaine did call Kurt out on Kurt’s bullshit, Kurt would always apologize in a way that wasn’t really an apology and then gaslight Blaine into thinking it was all his fault,” Sam finished with a swig from his flask before recapping it and putting it away in a jacket pocket.
Sebastian took a deep breath clearing his mind before he spoke. It was important that he didn’t let his emotions cloud his judgment, or he’d repeat the same mistakes that led to him hurting Blaine last year.
“I’m the youngest of three siblings. The baby of the family,” Sebastian began. “The oldest was my sister Ariel. She was smart and beautiful and kind, and so talented. She was going to be an artist.”
Sebastian took another deep breath trying back the flood of emotions that wanted to break free. This wasn’t a conversation he’d thought he’d be having today, but it felt like it was one he needed to have.
“And then she met Craig at her nineteenth birthday party. He was so nice and sweet to her at first. But then he changed.
“He convinced her that she was a talentless hack when it came to her passions. That she was so worthless no one could ever truly love her except for him. He took her happiness, her dreams, her family, her friends, and after a year and a half of hell he took her life.”
Sebastian wasn’t sure if he wanted to say more, but he’d said so much already. So, with one last shaky breath he continued.
“I think I fell for Blaine the second I saw him and like you I recognized the type of guy Hummel was the minute I met him. But my fear of what Kurt was to Blaine, and the trauma of what happened to my sister… it messed me up. I did and said things I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for. Hell, I’m not sure I want to ever be forgiven for. I physically hurt Blaine. I became the monster to Blaine, that Craig was to my sister.”
Sebastian could no longer hold back the tears. He couldn’t believe that he just confessed his most painful secrets to a practical stranger.
He was filled with the sudden urge to run and hide in his dorm room, but before he could even move Sam’s arms had wrapped around him and pulled Sebastian him back into a hug. Soon the tall brunette found himself crying like a fool against Sam’s shoulder.
When he was done, he remained there cuddled up to Sam in for at least thirty minutes, before Sam broke the silence.
“What was she like,” he asked.
For the first time in four years Sebastian found himself talking, really talking, about the sister he’d lost.