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Your first memory is staring down a gun. You understand fundamentally it's your(? His?) sister's. Your body is a stick and the other half of your(?) soul grips you tight, so tight you think (he you) might crack. You think you are cracking. Maybe it's him. You're staring at him now. He's shaking. You feel like he hates himself. You feel like he doesn't hate you. That's something. White hair and eyes flash in your mind. He doesn't hate her either. Maybe that’s why.
But there's a gun on the table and he's shaking. Everything feels like its ending and. Well. You don't want to die. But you do? It’s confusing.
He takes a deep breath in and turns away. You trail behind. Things are blurry, wavy.
When you blink, you're staring down a well instead. Then he crawls in.
It's like a violent wave crashes over you. A sudden awareness hits as a violent pull sends you tumbling down after him. You Grunt in sync as you both hit the bottom. Pain doesn't bloom like it should though. Like you think it should? Ugh.
He sits up, props himself up against the wall. And you realise it's to die. Fully realise. And well. You're the other half of his soul. So you sit too. Even though you don't want to die, not really. And you're pretty sure he doesn't either.
After the first day you let your head drop to his shoulder. After the second you wonder if anyone's noticed you gone. After the third you start to worry this really will be where you die. There's no one who’ll look. That's something you know like you know the boy is You. That you are Him. In a way.
It’s the morning of the fourth day now. The hunger hurts. His eyes are so cloudy. He still won’t let you go. Maybe if he did he wouldn’t have crawled into this fucking well at all. Mm.
And maybe you're starting to get the self hate thing. Maybe if he let you go, maybe if you weren’t just a stupid stick-
“Hello?”
What.
You whip your head. Your boy doesn’t react. Someone like you? The light makes it hard to see, but there's a hazy silhouette at the well mouth.
“Hey, hey. Hellloooo. Whatcha doing down there?”
You think you’re trembling. What the hell? Who is this person?
Their hazy silhouette disappears for a moment, and the sharp sound of a whistle, a human one, pierces the air. The silhouette appears again. The glint of what you think is a smilie appears.
“My guys gonna come and talk to yours, okay? I'll stay here in the meantime.”
And so they did. Talked about something or the other about their time so far in town, hesitating, considering? Then saying they, the mystery person and their friend, had past through to fight a Trash Beast. Trash Beasts. You know what those are, but no one here fights them, because you need to be something to do it. And the Hell Guard doesn't like people like that. The Hell Guard wouldn't like you…
…
That's a weird thought. What are you?
“Hey!”
You whip your head back up. Somethings tickling your neck. You can feel how wide your eyes are.
“You still with me? My guys here now, and he's gonna ask about some stuff, okay?”
You nod a little. You think the mystery person is shocked from the silence, but it turns into-
“Oh sick. Okay, cool, cool. You're gonna be strong, aren't you?”
You're so confused, but your eyes go even wider at the seeming praise. What.
Then Zanka says something. You turn so fast your neck hurts to stare in shock. Thats the first time you've heard him speak you realise, and cringe hard when you hear his recollection of the past few weeks. It's all he's been thinking about down here, but listening to it aloud feels painful. The mystery person is silent, but you realise their guy must be talking now too. It echos in your ears.
Zanka, that's his name, used to be Your name, what are you, says something else in return, and. Mm. You flinch a little. You think you had felt grateful to be picked, but how defeated he sounds now makes you feel ill. He really would have been better off without you, wouldn't he-
“Why not just get stronger?”
What. You look back up at mystery person. You think your ears are starting to ring.
“I’m with my guy, I don't really get all of this ‘genius’ and ‘average joe’ stuff, but why not just take all that energy you're buzzing with and put it into getting stronger if you think you’re so weak?”
You're shaking. What? Why does this person care-
“I get it can be discouraging, forming at rock bottom like this, being a more strange ‘object’, but why not just prove everyone wrong? Show them an average joe can beat a genius down sort of thing.”
Every word feels like something’s building, you're fully shaking now and you're ears are ringing so bad. Mystery's guy is talking too you think, but it's faint and you can't take your eyes away from the mouth of the well to check on Zanka. Your eyes are glued and your heart is beating so fast.
“He's still hanging on to you isn't he? And you're down here with him, reacting to what I say and what he feels. Absolutely insane for an ‘object’ to do so early!”
And then, a little quieter:
“...And really,” a pause, “ when you're starting so low down, when you're so far down at rock bottom…”
They point at the sky above, at the glass dome you were carved under, that Zanka grew up under, carved into something he tries so hard to be, something you try so hard to be!-
“The only way left to go is up.”
…They say it like it's the most logical thing in the world, like there's a future outside of just being an embarrassment if a staff, of a Nijiku just waiting for you outside this damn well. Like you can be something, even if it isn't what your family wants. What's been expected of you.
A pause again. Zanka crouches next to you. You realise you've stood up, straining to see out the well.
The light still shrouds the mystery person in shadow, something is making everything terribly blurry, but you think you can see the shocked impression on Mystery person's face, then that glint of a smile returns on what is definitely metal teeth.
And they say, “So keep going, okay?”
You nod again.
You Feel a strange sensation. You finally tear your eyes away. Zanka's stuck you between his teeth.
Your eyes go wide. You think you’re smiling like a maniac.
He wants to keep going.
He scrambles up the well walls. You're right next to him pulling yourself up and up and up!-
The light makes your eyes burn as you tumble over the edge. You feel like you've burst to life. The ringing in your ears in finally subsiding. A shadow passes behind your eyelids. When did you close them?
You squinted them open, and then:
“HOLY SHIT? Oh my god I didn't think you'd form this quickly he's only had you for like three days holy shit-”
“Oh my god, Umabreaker did they just?!-”
Mystery person is there, a very blonde adult with a full set of teeth in metal. You mange to slide your eyes over, and see a short girl with sliver hair and a hairstyle that looks like scissors. Everything is so much clearer now. It's insane. How were you even seeing before?
You jolt as Mystery person is pulled to the side. Their head whips to see what You assume is their guy, a tall blonde with an undercut, getting further away. A Red haired girl is with him. The sliver haired girl trips and smacks straight into her, pulled by the same invisible force. She doesn't notice. Definitely like you then.
“Shit! Okay, okay. Come find us okay?! I can answer any questions!! See ya!” They, Umabreaker?, calls. You stare and then-
“Okay!” You spoke. It sounded sorta crackley, the way it does when someone wakes up. You spoke.
“Oh my god you're talking to- Okay, I'm Umabreaker! Come find us! Don't fight a trash beast before that!!”
You go to speak again, but your throat is dry and shit your really feeling the effects of what was basically a three day suicide attempt. Fuck, you hurt all over.
You nod as rapidly as you can as you begin to cough. Zanka coughs beside you, and as you look over-
Oh.
You hear shouts as the two people who were walking away turn at Zanka's coughing. People are whispering in the street and a small part of both of you fear what will happen when Kyouka hears but-
You realise exactly what you are. You are a jinki, a vital instrument, and as you stare down at your body, wood turned to gleaming, beautiful metal, you realise that there is a life for you up here, outside the Well.
And you think he knows too.
-
Three years later you're a fully fleshed cleaner, and your name is Aibō, Lovely Assistaff. And as the searing, brutal pain of Mymo's attack hits, a small part of you at the bottom of that Well that wanted to disappear Dies, and a much fiercer, violent part wants to live like nothing else. You and your other half in perfect sync as you swing up.