Chapter Text
Drea pinched the bridge of her nose, her face contorted in frustration. “Now... explain to me again how this all fucking happened?”
Dan groaned, throwing his head back. “How many times are you going to make me repeat myself, Drea?”
“Until it starts making sense how you married your ex boyfriend from when you were eighteen that you haven't seen in over a decade!” She exclaimed, leaning forward in her seat.
Dan gulped down the rest of his glass of wine, rolling his eyes at her attitude. She had no right to be pissed off. He's the one that now has to deal with the consequences of his own actions.
Actions that somehow lead to him royally fucking himself over in the 'I'm totally straight and not even remotely into men' department.
Just don't tell her, it will break her heart.
Dan sighed, locked eyes with Drea, and retold his tale.
~~~
Dan had been studying, for years at this point, to become a lawyer. And working as a paralegal while doing so had its benefits. Like the few friends he was able to make from university into his career. He grew close to the few lads, especially the guys he knew from his dorm, and they had kept in touch even after all this time.
So when they reached out, excited about a supposed Vegas trip they made plans for years ago (that Dan had no recollection of agreeing to), he decided fuck it. He had been working hard, studying. Why not take a vacation during his one week off and take a trip to Vegas... of all places.
The glitz and glam of the strip was bound to destress him. He could get into some gambling, see a show, drink, eat food that had more preservatives than actual ingredients in it. It sounded like a grand time.
Especially the drinking. Because that was one thing Dan did actually enjoy doing.
They only planned to be there for four days, not wanting to go too into debt. When they all arrived, the jetlag hit them hard. So they ended up just chilling by the pool or sleeping. It wasn't until the following day that they really started to party. And Dan was able to let loose, get pretty drunk, and even win a little bit of money.
But that dreaded third night. That's what really did him in. The royal fuck up, if you will.
Dan knew his limits with alcohol, or at the very least knew what would happen when he drank certain types. Vodka made him rowdy, tequila made him flirty, whiskey made him sad, the list could go on. That night he somehow had a bit of everything, which made him a level of drunk even he hadn't seen before.
Maybe he drank a lot because he was annoyed, watching all of his friends find girls to hook up with as he just sat on the sidelines awkwardly. Like a lot of his life. Sure, he could have easily talked to some girl and gone back to her place. But, he knew deep down that wasn't what he really wanted.
Dan was gay. It wasn't something he could openly admit out loud, and only a few people knew of this secret. Really, it was just Drea that knew. He met her in university, both studying law, only for her to drop out and become a co-owner of one of the few gay bars in London. He knew she could be trusted after that, and so he told her his secret. And she accepted him. Her bar was the only queer space he felt comfortable in. The only place he allowed himself to go to that was gay.
Dan had been with a couple different women before. Hell, even had a girlfriend or two over the course of his adult life. He thought women were beautiful. And the few that he was sexually attracted to were even more so. But... his heart was never fully in it. So, it never went anywhere. And in the beginning it was annoying, but manageable. But something within the last year made it hard to cope. Maybe he was growing soft in his old age. Or maybe he just hated not being able to get laid properly.
Probably a bit of both, if he was honest.
Watching everyone partner off, he decided to explore the hotel they stayed at. Apparently there was a gay bar somewhere in the premises, and he figured it's not like anyone knows me here.
Entering the gay bar was the last thing he remembered doing. There were blurs of a blond man, a lot of shots, and... Elvis, for some reason. But eventually it all grew black and he was out like a light.
When he woke up the next morning, he was naked. He wasn't in his hotel bed. It was twelve P.M., and his flight was going to leave in three hours.
And he was next to a man with platinum blond hair.
He only saw the back of his head (and his sexy ass) before grabbing his clothes and getting dressed quickly. He showered, packed his shit, and flew home. None the wiser of what went down.
That had been about three weeks ago. Him and his friends barely remembered the trip, given how drunk they all were, and when they asked Dan what he got up to that night... he just said he got lucky, like them.
Lucky was probably the polar opposite word he would use now.
~~~
“So I came home, yesterday, and got the post. And in it was this.”
Dan slid the manila envelope to Drea. It was postmarked from Las Vegas, Nevada. It was thick, having multiple papers inside. She opened it up, pulling out the paper that held Dan's fate in the air.
A marriage certificate. Signed by Dan and another man. A man by the name of Phil Lester.
A man Dan dated for a year back when he was eighteen. A man Dan did everything in his power to forget about. A man that only lived in Dan's past, in his mind.
And now apparently, the man of his future.
He hissed, “Christ, I'm going to off myself if you don't say something.”
She glanced over the certificate, “You are... fucked. Like, genuinely screwed.”
“I know! I-I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do now.” Dan chewed on his bottom lip nervously, pacing.
“Well, you obviously need to get it annulled. I'm surprised you were able to sign off on any of this given how drunk you were.” She stated.
Dan sighed. “Somehow my handwriting is about the same even when I'm blacked out.”
“I would say it's a bit better…” Dan made a face, glaring. She added, “What? You have chicken scratch for writing.”
“Can we make fun of my handwriting later, Andrea? My fucking life hangs in the balance right now and you're bitching about my penmanship.” He growled.
Drea scoffed. “Chill out, would you, Daniel? Look, there's only one course of action: get the marriage annulled.”
“Do you know what the process looks like to get it annulled?” He questioned.
She took a second, “I remember vaguely about it from uni.”
“It’s possible I have to go to court and plead why the marriage needs to be annulled. Which means I have to explain that I was piss drunk and couldn't consent to the marriage. But this also means I have admit, publicly for the record, that I got married to a MAN.” Dan buried his face in his hands, “For fuck's sake what if someone from B and B is there?”
Drea squinted at him, “Does Browning and Bruneswin even have a divorce annulment side of its branch?”
He looked up, trying to remember the directory of the building he went into five days a week. “...It doesn't. Okay. That's true. I'll be safe, maybe. But I could easily see someone from uni there.”
“And if they ask, you're a paralegal. Look, you are overthinking this. No one is going to look into whether you got married recently. And especially if you got married to a man. You don't even have a ring to prove it happened. And all of the friends you went on the trip with barely remember anything so it's not like they know either.” Drea assured him, placing a hand on his shoulder.
Dan nodded, blinking rapidly. “Right. Right. So... I'm okay.”
She scrunched her face, something coming to her mind. “Well, sort of.”
He frowned, “What.”
“Technically... Phil could contest the annulment.”
“How? How could he? I mean, there's no way he would do that.”
She shrugged, “I don't know. If I accidentally married my ex after he broke my heart, I might contest the annulment just to piss him off. Do you think he's spiteful?”
Phil was one of the nicest guys Dan had ever met. He was thoughtful, caring, a little too silly at times, but... not spiteful.
Dan’s voice softened. “No, I don't think he would do that.”
“Then you might be in the clear. But you should still contact him. Maybe meet up with him face-to-face.” Drea replied, setting the papers back down.
His face twisted, “I-I don't know about that. It's been so long and I just don't think-”
She cut in, “It wasn't that long ago that you fucked him.”
“Could you shut up?” He exhaled, “But yeah, I guess you're right. I should... talk to him. Make sure we're on the same page.”
Drea smirked at him, trying to lighten the mood, “And luckily for you, Phil's address is also on the documents. So, catch the nearest train to East London, baby. You got a marriage to annul.”