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Ult wiped sweat from his brow, noticing how the sun was starting to set. His Sableye and Dragonite, who’d started training together more and more frequently with Ult, gave their trainer a puzzled look. The two Pokemon resigned to their Poke-balls upon realizing the day was almost over, and Ult returned to the place he found himself staying more and more often recently, his “room”. The observatory of the Brave Olivine was where Ult stayed the most, miscellaneous things he found throughout his time with the Rising Volt Tacklers strewn across the area.
Ult stared out, his mind wandering, probably due to him being tired from training all day, when his thoughts were interrupted by Liko popping in to let him know that Murdock was working on dinner for everyone. Ult grumbled a “I’ll be down in a minute” under his breath at Liko’s sudden appearance, and she left just as quickly, him following behind her. The promise of food with the other members of the Rising Volt Tacklers was a reassuring thought to him, because, truth be told? He didn’t want to be left alone with his thoughts at the moment.
His thoughts when he was alone always started with his worries, the ones he’d never say to anyone aloud except maybe Sableye. He worried more than he wanted to admit, about if he was strong enough to pull his weight as a Volt Tackler. Yet, a welcome distraction in the form of Roy always pulled him away from those thoughts. Even if the rival in question wasn’t there physically to distract him, he found himself thinking of Roy anyways.
In truth, they were pleasant thoughts. Ult would never admit how fond he was starting to grow of his dear friend, not even to himself, but the nights where his mind would wander to his rival always made him more content than the nights where he’d succumb to his worries. But, with that came inner conflict in poor Ult’s mind.
Liko had noticed Ult was headed the same way as her, and she slowed down to walk beside him, though not talking. She knew he wasn’t the best at talking to most of the people on the airship yet. He was always bad with being around girls, he’d grow all sheepish even around Liko and Dot, despite being used to them. Hell, he was even shy around Emma before he started on his journey with Sableye. Once he and Liko had sat down with the others to eat dinner, he let his Pokemon out to eat with the others, not saying much.
Ult was uncharacteristically quiet throughout dinner, eating super quickly and then returning to the airship’s observatory, to which Liko and Roy noticed. Roy figured Ult was just airsick again, so he didn’t pay too much mind to it since he always seemed to recover quickly from that (despite being a little worried) and Liko waited a bit before making her way up to the observatory yet again, she recognized how Ult was acting.
Ult sat down, looking out of the windows of the observatory again as he seemed to do often, fiddling with one of the many rocks he’d picked up through his travels, with Sableye snoozing at his side. His mind went down the familiar path of worry, wondering if he was going to be able to pull his own weight during his time here on the airship, if he would ever be able to truly gain Dragonite’s approval, if the Rising Volt Tacklers would ever leave him behind, if he would ever be able to stand side by side with the strong trainers he admired.
One of those trainers in question was.. well, Roy. Ever since the Mega Evolution training over a year ago, Ult’s proclaimed he’s the strongest and that he’s better than his rival, but deep down.. he really wondered if he could ever catch up to Roy. He’d been better at almost everything Ult ever tried his best at, and that created both jealousy and respect from Ult to his dear friend. Maybe even admiration.
Nope, he was definitely way too tired.
It’s as if he was fawning over his rival’s abilities like some lovestruck schoolgirl… the comparison even crossing his mind made his face flush far more red than it needed to.
Okay, WAY too tired. He needed to go to sleep.
Interrupting his thoughts was a soft knock followed by a “Can I come in?” from Liko. For a brief moment, it reminded him of how Emma used to check in on him after she first took him in. A hesitant “.. yeah, sure” from Ult told Liko all she needed to know, and she sat down next to him, thinking over how to start the conversation.
Before she could even mention how he was acting similar to how she was with Dot, Ult blurted out “How did you and Dot even, like.. You know.” Liko was a bit stunned by the question, before chuckling lightly. “I knew that’s what you were worried about. I had a feeling. You don’t have to tell me, but if you do, I’ll try my best to, y’know.. offer my advice.” She says calmly, noting Ult’s conflicted expression.
Ult sighs to himself, his face warming up a bit both at a girl’s close presence and the topic at hand. He knew Liko was implying that she’d noticed his conflict surrounding Roy before even he had fully come to terms with it. She says with a small smile “Well, if you were asking, I realized how important Dot was to me after seeing how far the two of us had come as trainers, with each other's help.”
Ult looks down at his lap, and he says awkwardly “Do you, uhh.. not worry about how much more ahead or behind the other in terms of being a trainer the other is? I guess strength in battles isn’t that big of a deal to the two of you, so.. dumb question, my bad.” Liko quickly interjects and says “Nono, it’s not a dumb question at all! In all honesty.. Comparing my progress to hers is something I’ve done a lot. For a long while, it felt like I was standing still, while everyone else around me was moving so far ahead of me.”
Ult’s eyes widened at this; so he wasn’t alone in that. He mutters “That’s.. kinda the deal with me, too. I want to be the mega-strongest of them all, yet I’ve made barely any progress at all.. At least, that’s kinda what it feels like.” A short silence that follows is interrupted by Ult saying quietly “I wish I could catch up to Roy. He.. he’s mega-amazing.”
His face warms up involuntarily at realizing what he just admitted, and Liko giggles to herself, before saying knowingly “Well, maybe tell him that. Easier said than done, I know, but I’m sure he’d appreciate that. Who knows, maybe he feels like he himself hasn’t made any progress either, and hearing you be honest with him could change his perspective… and maybe yours too.” She knew Roy far too well, and she could take an educated guess on how Roy would react to something like this.
“It’s not that simple, though.. I’ve been weird, like, mega-strange around him recently, I don’t know what’s going on with me. I’ve been thinking about him all weird, and.. I dunno, it reminds me of how Dot acts around you. But- like- not like that, of course..” Ult mutters, burying his burning red face into his hands, and Liko giggles yet again, before putting a tentative hand on his shoulder and saying reassuringly; “And that’s perfectly fine. Though, it does really sound like you’ve got it bad for your “dear friend”..” She teases lightly, reminding Ult of how Emma teased him when he had first met Roy, all that time ago.
Ult snaps out of his thoughts when he realizes what Liko had really said, and he blurts out “He told you about that?!” The time after Roy had helped Ult escape from the Explorers’ clutches, where Ult had professed that he’d become the “mega-strongest” to protect everyone dear to him, especially Roy. Liko says lightly “He mentioned it ALL the time for the next week after you two had gotten back from that visit to the Explorers’ hideout. Seems like he was thinking about it a lot, right?” which earns a scoff from Ult, with him muttering “yeah, sure..” under his breath.
Liko sighs and says “Okay, I’m sorry I’m messing with you so much about this.. In all honesty though, you should open up to him about this. He definitely wouldn’t judge you, but he might tease you a bit, fair warning.. Maybe leave the “he’s mega-amazing” part out, though.” she says with a small smile, with Ult saying bluntly “You’re not gonna let me live that down, are you?”
“Nope!” Liko says with a small giggle, but her tone soon shifts to a bit more of a concerned, older-sisterly-like tone “Seriously though, Ult, keeping this all to yourself isn’t healthy, especially since it’s weighing on you so much.”
“It’s like… I want to be his girlfriend.” Ult says awkwardly, before muttering “I mean, I don’t know how that stuff works.. And I’d be a mega-bother asking you and Dot how you two work.” Liko sits a bit confused, saying calmly “How we.. work? Because me and her are both girls?” Ult sighs and says quietly “Yeah.. that. I’m probably gonna try and wait this out, Roy will think I’m some freak.”
Liko’s expression morphs to one of concern, and she says to him softly “Don’t tell yourself that. It’s alright for you to feel this way. I don’t know how things were for you before I met you and before you became a Rising Volt Tackler, but.. If nothing else, I think it’s perfectly alright. Roy’s the one who helped you take that first start on your journey, right? Letting him know how much he means to you is a whole entire new first step in and of itself, but.. You really shouldn’t tell yourself it’s a bad thing.”
Ult looks down at his lap, refusing to make eye contact with her. Her words were foreign to her, and they yet again reminded her of something Emma had told him when she had first taken him in. Ult’s time living on the street led him to witness a lot of things, and he’d witnessed people be ridiculed for loving one another even in the “welcoming” city of Lumiose that he had grown up oh-so–unforgivingly in.
“Caring for someone should never be a bad thing.” Liko says quietly, interrupting his thoughts. Whatever Ult had to say was wiped from the front of his mind, and he sits there, lip quivering. He takes a deep breath and glances at Liko to say, quietly but genuinely “You, uhh.. Thank you.” He didn’t need to say much more, to which Liko says with a small but reassuring smile “Of course. Everyone on this airship cares about you, including me. It’s late, and so I’m gonna head back to my room, but.. If you ever want to talk about anything, I’ll listen, okay?”
Those words rang out in Ult’s mind, “If you ever want to talk, I’ll listen, okay?” and for a moment, Ult thought he was back at the Looker Bureau as a 10-year old again, listening to Emma attempt to get him to open up. Ult snaps out of his thoughts once more and nods in response to Liko, watching her leave and flopping back on the couch where he always slept in the observatory. Sableye stirred beside him, waking up completely oblivious to the conversation that had just taken place, and Ult fell asleep worry-less for the first time in a long while.
—-------
A good while after falling asleep, Ult realizes he’s begun to dream, a familiar dream he’s had repeating for the past few nights. In this dream, Ult and Roy are sitting on one of the couches in the observatory. Earlier, Ult had mustered up the courage to ask Roy if he wanted to see the different rocks and miscellaneous things he’d collected, to which Roy seemed strangely interested. After Ult had explained to Roy carefully what some of the different things strewn across the windowsills were, they both sat there calmly. Neither Ult nor Roy were saying anything, almost basking in each other’s presence. Roy would scoot his hand closer to Ult's and he would do the same in return. Eventually, Ult would hold the hand of the other boy, which would catch Roy by surprise, Ult watching a hint of red appear on the usually unfazed boy’s face with an uncharacteristically soft gaze. The two would stare into each other’s eyes, until eventually Ult got embarrassed and looked away, to which Roy would say lightly “You sure do stare a lot at me. And then blush a lot afterwards. Am I blushing too?” Ult would mutter “yeah, of course you are..” which would earn a laugh from the other boy, the laugh that Ult almost loved to hear.
If he could make him laugh, that was enough. He’d look him in the eye, squeeze his hand, lean in, and the dream would end right then and there, and he'd always wake up with his heart pounding. But, the dream had a different weight this time. He’d been terrified of ever telling Roy how he felt, how much he respected him. However, after talking to Liko last night, he decided he was done with hiding himself away like he always did.
Usually, he’d play the dream off and ignore it for the rest of the day when he woke up, but today?
He was woken up by Roy shaking him lightly, saying with a grin “Wake up, you’re gonna miss breakfast!” And the dream Ult had seen last night was fresh in the front of his mind, which led him to stare in a uncharacteristically sweet manner. Roy would look back at him funny, his face warming up a bit, before laughing and tugging him by the hand to go get ready for breakfast. Ult would look over at Roy with that same strangely fond gaze, not a worry in his eyes anymore, and muster up the courage to ask “Do you, uhh.. wanna hang out after breakfast? I can show you some of the mega-cool stuff I found recently.” and Roy would respond “Really? Of course I want to!”
Just like in the dream.