Work Text:
Three Weeks Before
Changbin has many favourite moments in his life.
Any time spent at the gym is good time to him, and dance practice is just as fulfilling. He loves spending time with the other members, too, his family, as well as his biological family. Performing for Stay and interacting with their fans always reminds him why he loves music so much.
None of those things really compare with moments spent with just Seungmin. They carry all the exhilaration of working out or performing, but also thoroughly warms him the same way quality time with the others does. It helps that Seungmin, at some point, became his person, whatever that meant. He used to tease Jisung for the way he couldn’t go a few hours without mentioning Minho, or how Jeongin’s advice always seemed to come from Chan. He’d even poked Hyunjin a few times over dinner for how much he talked about Felix, but now he just looked like a hypocrite.
Because without fail, Seungmin was the first person he’d look for when entering a room. He’d always peel an orange for Seungmin, even if he was just getting himself an apple. He always leaves the last strawberries to give to Seungmin, even if he wanted to use them for a smoothie, even if he was in an entirely separate dorm. It felt like, at some point, part of his heart became Seungmin’s. He felt.. Torn, cold, when they were apart too long.
It wasn’t just that they were close- because they were close, and Seungmin probably knew more about him than Changbin liked to think about- but Seungmin was undeniably attractive, as well. Painfully humble about it, too. Sometimes he’d catch himself laughing too openly, or stretching too languidly, letting his shirt ride up, and he’d jump to cover himself somehow. It was happening less and less in Changbin’s presence, but it always made him want to pounce, hold him down until there was nothing Seungmin could hide from his love.
His affection really was that close to spilling out, too. It grew harder with each passing day to keep a lid on it, to tamp down the urge to pull Seungmin closer until they were breathing the same air and chest to chest. He channelled the energy into their banter, the manhandling instead. It didn’t get any easier.
If anything, it got harder because Seungmin was getting bolder, too. There’d been moments- handfuls- of him actively staking a claim on Changbin. Openly staring. Grabbing his arm or placing a hand on his side when they stood close, as if daring anyone else to get closer. One night, in Changbin and Hyunjin’s own dorm, he had loudly complained that Hyunjin was in his seat on the couch. Changbin had been confused because they didn’t even really have typical places in the living room, until his roommate curiously shuffled away from him, and Seungmin happily settled into the space next to him.
And still Seungmin kept pushing.
The tension was building, crackling in the decreasing distance between them. Changbin was sure one of them would do something about it soon. He was sure it’d probably be him. And, as nebulous as the idea was, he was almost sure Seungmin would take it in his stride.
It all came to a head in the practice room.
They’d finished practising the group choreography for the day, and they were all unwinding. Usually, they’d all trudge back home, but some vocals needed recording, and it was early enough that everyone had agreed to go out to eat after that was done. So as Chan and Jeongin slipped out of the room to head to the studio, everyone else scattered. Some went over to their discarded drinks, others stretched, and Changbin and Seungmin lazed on the benches at the very back; Changbin with one leg stretched over the bench and the other dangling off, back leaning against the corner with Seungmin tucked neatly under that leg, holding his calf close.
They’re bantering idly about practice. Seungmin teases about Changbin false-starting when the music first started playing; he jabs back about Seungmin entirely losing his shoe at one point. They trade blows, jabs about each other's performances, all with the underlying understanding that they did well. They’re proud of each other, and that’s why they poke and prod.
Changbin opens his mouth to say as much, getting as far as “You know-“, when Minho wanders up to them. In an instant, Seungmin sat up from his leg, paying rapt attention to Minho.
A bottle of water is passed down, and Seungmin thanks him quietly. “You did really well with the footwork during that last run through. You were struggling with that before, right?”
Seungmin visibly preens, expression lighting up in a very typical, subdued way. “Thank you, Hyung, I was. I’m glad it paid off.”
Minho clearly has nothing more to say, because he nods succinctly and passes the other bottle of water to Changbin. He gets a small smile, and then Minho is gone, wandering over to where Felix and Jisung are leaning in to each other to watch something on Minho’s phone. Hyunjin is close by, offering quips between stretches.
Seungmin opens the bottle, chugging most of it in an impressive amount of time, and Changbin can feel the moment he goes to stand up to toss the trash away- it makes his stomach twist in discomfort. Instead, without un-slouching from his corner, Changbin hooks his calf around Seungmin’s shoulders, forcing him back into his previous spot beneath his leg. He feels the younger laugh against him before he tips his head back onto Changbin’s thigh, looking up at him. “What’s up?”
Changbin worries at his bottom lip in lieu of answering. What was up with him? He was glad that Minho came over to say something nice. Seungmin deserved to hear that, even if Minho beat him to saying it first. And yet, as Seungmin finally wraps his hand back around Changbin’s calf, the uncomfortable feeling vanishes, like everything is back in order. It must have been obvious, because Seungmin’s expression lit up.
“Ah, are you jealous? Did I make Hyung jealous by giving Minho-hyung all my attention?”
Changbin fights back the twitch in his eye. “I’m not jealous. It's just.. I was talking to you. He should’ve waited for his turn.”
“Ah, is there a queue to talk to me now? Will you defend your place at the front of the line, Binnie-hyung?”
“Yah, you’re such a brat, Seungminnie..”
“What are you gonna do about it, huh, Hyung? Put a collar on me?”
Seungmin is just teasing, getting on Changbin’s nerves like he always does with that same impish smile, but Changbin’s hand twitches at his side.
“Yeah, right, you’d wear it happily.”
He laughs, high and delighted, as he rocks forward into the firm line of Changbin’s calf. Changbin lets himself get lost in the laughter, the light noise the only thing tethering him to the present as his mind reels with images. Scandalous, scandalous images of Seungmin, all pretty in a collar for him.
He pinches the skin of his thigh between two fingers, digging his nails in, anything to distract from those thoughts. This is simply play. Another game, a tug-of-war with each other’s patience. That thin remaining strand of patience nearly snaps when, after finally steeling his resolve and looking down at Seungmin, Changbin finds he’s already looking right back. There’s a contemplative mirth in the curve of his smile.
“I would, you know.”
Snapped back into the moment, Changbin frowns. “Huh?”
“I’d wear it.”
Changbin can’t focus after that. Even when they’re all at dinner, he stares mindlessly into his broth, blissfully ignorant of Seungmin’s proud grin.
-
Two Weeks Before
From that point on, Changbin’s search history becomes something sacred. When Jeongin asks to borrow his phone to search for something, his own phone dead, Changbin baulks until Chan kindly offers his up instead. Such a generous hyung, even if he does eye Changbin suspiciously as Jeongin takes his phone.
Jeongin probably wouldn’t say anything on the spot if he saw his history. But he’d file it away in his memory, and that would make it so much more embarrassing if he did go through with this. He’s not usually a victim of their maknae’s fox-like, smug smile, but he knows it’s best to avoid it.
Because how is he supposed to shut Jeongin up when he sees that Changbin’s search history is full of collars?
First, he went down the route of actual dog collars, but they all tended to be tacky. Cute, for an actual puppy. Maybe something he could give as a gift later on, when this is more casual, but ‘cute’ doesn’t exactly scream ‘mine’.
Next, he’d started looking at subtle ones. Plain, smooth, black leather. Maybe a metal ring. Something Seungmin could get away with wearing on stage.
And god, wasn’t that a thought? Seungmin on stage in his collar, all their fans speculating. Maybe Changbin could pull him into his personal space when he annoys him again, this time by that metal ring instead of twisting his arm.
He could get letters on it. His own name seems too obvious. Puppies don’t have collars with their owners' name on them.
(He really needs to stop this line of thinking. It’s just him, his hyung and their maknae in this room. Possibly the worst company for the thoughts he’s having.)
Seungmin’s name would be too subtle, though. That could just be explained away, like one of the costume designers thought it’d be a nice touch. “STAY” is too vague, and it’s been done before. Seungmin doesn’t belong to Stay. Not when Changbin is the one putting a collar on him.
Then it clicks.
There’s more noise around him- Jeongin is laughing and cooing at something on Chan’s phone, high and delighted as he uses the mere centimetre of height he has on their leader to keep it out of his grasp. He can vaguely hear Chan asking for his help- like he’s any taller than either of them- but Changbin couldn’t possibly care less.
Because the vision is finally clear in his head, and Changbin is uncoordinated as he lurches to his feet. “I’ll be back.”
He probably won't, but he needed to say something as he ran straight out of Chan and Jeongin’s dorm. In all honesty, he’d forgotten long ago why he was even there- The idea of meeting for lunch floats distantly somewhere in his head. Not important anymore, not now that Changbin needs to make a purchase and spend the next few hours contemplating his existence.
Because this is ridiculous, isn’t it? He can’t court normally; he has to go ahead and stake his claim on Seungmin with a collar of all things. He doesn’t even know when it became courting, when his desire for Seungmin went from something hot and short-lived in annoyance to… warm. Protective. Maybe still just as possessive, but Seungmin doesn’t seem to mind.
Maybe it started changing when Changbin realised what all the teasing really meant, why Seungmin treated him differently from all the other hyungs- with unconditional attention, genuine presence instead of just respect. When Seungmin started coming to him in quiet moments too, not really talking about what’s on his mind, but knowing Changbin would be there. Steadfast and stolid, ready to give whatever he needs. When Changbin realised he wanted to be the one to give him that.
When he gets back to the dorm, Changbin charges straight through to his bedroom, dragging the laptop off his desk while he’s at it. There was one website he had in mind- one name he’d seen pop up in most of the forums he referenced for ideas. The amount of research he’d done was almost sad.
With the focus and devotion of a man on a mission, Changbin pulled up the site, a boutique of sorts. A more alternative scene, most pieces dark and decorated with lace or chains. There, under the category of ‘Necklaces & Chokers’, was a selection of exactly what he was looking for.
He was ready to make an unwise financial decision.
-
Jeongin is on a mission, it seems, because he tries to get on Changbin’s phone again later that week. They’re at a BBQ restaurant, Chan, Jeongin, Minho, Jisung, and himself, all squished into a booth. Changbin spends most of the night feeling distinctly like he was the fifth wheel to a double date that he was not aware of. It had originally been a production-related celebration for him, Chan and Jisung, but Minho is never far behind wherever Jisung goes, and Jeongin hadn’t taken no for an answer when he caught wind of their BBQ plans. Sitting between two couples, it feels far less like a celebration, and Changbin can’t help but wish Seungmin were here.
Only to kick him under the table, of course.
This time, Jeongin’s excuse for stealing his phone is weak. His own is perfectly fine- full battery, not being used for anything- He’d even taken up being the group photographer for the night, taking photos that would’ve made Hyunjin proud. There was no reason he could possibly need Changbin’s phone. Especially not with the mood Chan was in; it was a celebration after all, and a little bit of drinking was all it took to mellow him out. Changbin felt slightly scandalised by how easy it seemed to make him, and how comfortably Jeongin was in using Chan’s doting to his advantage. The levels of PDA were seriously rivalling Minho and Jisung across the table. Innocent maknae his ass, Jeongin was practically walking him like a dog.
Speaking of which…
Jeongin finally sees his opportunity when Changbin, foolishly, sneaks a glance at his notifications. Any chatter around him fades into obscurity as his pulse jumps at the email notification.
Your package has been shipped.
He stares for a little too long until he finally catches that Jeongin is unabashedly reading over his shoulder. In an instant, Changbin slams his phone onto the table face-first.
“Iyen-ah.” He’s someone between shock and disappointment. Jeongin clearly feels no such trouble, because he grins brightly. “What are you doing?”
The grin doesn’t slip as he shrugs. “Just trying to look at your phone case, in case I should get you a new one for your birthday.” He’s lying through his goddamn teeth. Changbin’s birthday passed only recently, but unfortunately, he’s really good at acting innocent. He reaches a hand onto the table, poking the phone, and Changbin is one knee-jerk reaction away from wrestling him to the ground. “It’s a nice phone case, though, isn’t it?”
Jeongin is giving him a pointed look. Changbin is going to snap him over his knee. The phone case was a gift from Seungmin, of course.
“Could I maybe have a closer-”
“Absolutely not, you damned brat!” Changbin gives up on trying to act casual, instead snatching his phone back up. He considers shuffling close to Jisung, away from Jeongin, but ultimately.. He doesn’t want to be a part of that. “You have your own for a reason. Don’t even try.”
Jeongin sighs dramatically at that, putting on his best pout as he sinks back into Chan’s side. For all intents and purposes, it works. Chan plays along with him easily, cooing and slinging an arm around his side, letting Jeongin rest his chin on his shoulder- Jeongin, who sticks his tongue out when Chan looks away, smiling as if to say call me a brat again now, I dare you.
It’s sickeningly sweet. Changbin wants to go home.
You
please save me from this meal
Puppy <3
The one you didn’t invite me to?
You
don’t be like that >_> i thought itd just be us three
im stuck between two couples
If i dont survive pls wipe my search history
Seungmin stops replying. Changbin suffers through the rest of the night alone.
-
In fact, he doesn’t get a response until the next day.
Puppy <3
A little fox told me you’ve been acting weird about your phone.
Changbin sighs. Of course, when he can’t figure it out himself, Jeongin goes to his second-in-command.
You
what of it?
Puppy <3
You messaging someone or something?
His first instinct is to reassure, promise Seungmin that there’s no one else. But Changbin’s the one putting effort into this courting, isn’t he? Maybe it’s his turn to get on his nerves. See if Seungmin will be the one to react for once.
You
and if i am?
Moment of truth. It pops up instantly.
Puppy <3 is typing…
And…
It stops. As quickly as he’d started typing, Seungmin went offline. Something twists in Changbin’s stomach, and suddenly, this isn’t funny anymore. He doesn’t know how Seungmin does this. The guilt sets in immediately.
You
i’m joking
Puppy?
Changbin frowns, typing even faster.
You
Seungminnie, i could never think of texting someone else.
Only you, he starts typing, but Seungmin is back online.
Puppy <3
Good
Hyunjinnie hyung also told me you ditched their lunch before he even got there
What’s that about?
You
Does everyone just report back to you about me?
Puppy <3
Yeah
The thought leaves Changbin thoroughly warmed.
Puppy <3
Mostly when you’re annoying.
Ridiculous, but he feels warmer still. Because mostly means they told him other things too. He wonders, indulgently, what type of things Seungmin would want to hear about him from the others. Was it like when Felix sent him a photo of Seungmin fast asleep at their dining table? Or when Jeongin, annoyed that Chan and Changbin went for lunch without him, sent them both multiple selcas of his own lunch date with Seungmin?
Has Hyunjin ever sent him the artful gym photos he insists on taking of Changbin? (Changbin sees no point in them; he works out, and he leaves. But if Hyunjin puts in the effort to get the lighting right, highlighting his bulging muscles and the sheen of sweat, just to send it to Seungmin? Maybe it’s not so bad.)
-
One Week Before
After a long gym session, there’s nothing Changbin wants more than to drink some cold strawberry juice- because it’s good for muscle recovery and inflammation, no other reason- and maybe pass out. He’s satisfyingly sore, proud of the work he put in, and finally tired enough to sleep.
Any contentment leaves his body when he comes home to Hyunjin on the couch, his sketchbook and laptop abandoned next to him, staring at a… relatively nondescript package. At least, it’s non-descript to him.
The box is black, plain, with a white print of the same name as the website Changbin bought a collar from last week.
“Ah, Changbinnie-hyung.. Did you...?”
“Yeah! Yeah. That’s um.. that’s mine. I ordered-“
Hyunjin cuts him off with a giggle, scrunching his nose. “I didn’t expect you to order from this place, too. Don’t worry, I didn’t open it.”
Changbin tenses up before untensing slowly. “‘Too?’ Hyunjin-ah, did you-“
They’re both just cutting each other off today, because Hyunjin nods concisely. “Yeah, I get all of my accessories from the same place. But still, I didn't think that site was your style?”
For a second, Changbin considers lying- spitting something from between his teeth about trying something new, but in all honesty? An accomplice would be nice. And he’d like to have the place to himself when he finally gives it to Seungmin. Double entendre intended. Hyunjin wasn’t just going to... clear out for no reason.
“You’re right. It’s not for me.” Instead of a real explanation, he takes a few hesitant steps closer, dropping his gym bag by the door so he can tentatively open the box.
“Then who-“ Hyunjin shuts up as the box opens, and Changbin sifts through layers of tissue paper and packing peanuts to find the much smaller, ornate gift box. Inside lay a thick red choker, with all the buckles and rings of a dog collar. In the one strip of flat leather, silver letters spelt out the word ‘puppy’.
He’d settled on this one after a lot of deliberation, but it had been the first to catch his eye. Artful design was Hyunjin’s thing, not his, but his attention had been caught by the contrast of stylish leather and blatant dog-collar style. Plus, red was always such a pretty colour on Seungmin. Especially when it was also crawling up his neck.
In the silence, Changbin feels all the embarrassment catch up to him. Maybe it was too on-the-nose.
From the couch, Hyunjin ‘aahs’. “I see.. It’s for Seungminnie! That makes sense. You’re getting the puppy a collar?”
“That obvious, huh..”
“Maybe.” But Hyunjin is polite as he says it, with a twinkle in his eye. “But I also just know you two. Didn’t expect that of you, but I’m sure he’ll like it. Are you two-“
“Not yet.”
“Oh.” Hyunjin frowns, deeply expressive as always, running a hand through his short hair. “Please tell me this isn’t how you’re finally asking him out?” When Changbin is poignantly silent, he groans. “Hyung! You have to do more than that. You need to make a display, something big, to show that you want him! I’ll help, of course.”
Changbin doesn’t hate the idea, but he knows neither he nor Seungmin are big on displays. They’re dramatic, silly, but they like to keep these private things… well, private. Small. Quiet. “I think wrapping a collar around his throat is a pretty obvious sign that I want him.”
But Hyunjin brushes him off, opening his laptop and typing rapidly. “Please don’t start waxing poetic to me about Seungmin-ah’s throat. What’s your plan so far?”
“Well.. I’ve already invited him to the cinema with me next week. They um… They’re showing A Star Is Born. Doing a re-run. What good timing, right?”
“Why would they re-run that? It’s only a few years- oh..” Hyunjin is finally looking at him again, jaw dropped in disbelief, but the corners of his mouth begin to curl upwards. “Hyung. Did you…”
“I had nothing to do with this.”
“How much money did you spend on Seungmin? Oh my god. You’re taking Seungminnie to a private screening of his favourite movie, and then you’re going to ask him to date you. I knew it! I knew we’d make a romantic of you yet.” He looks so proud that it mollifies Changbin’s nerves a little. Maybe he isn’t doing too much. “Won’t he notice that the screening is empty? Assuming you don’t want him to figure it out.”
“No. Absolutely not. He’ll think he’s won by getting me to put in effort.” What Changbin doesn't say is that he knows Seungmin too well. He knows that Seungmin wouldn’t be able to enjoy the night, would feel too guilty and exposed, if he knew the extent of what Changbin had done.
Hyunjin’s nose wrinkles again. “Right. I forgot you two were still pretending to have a rivalry going on. Besides, I think he’ll be too appreciative to care about ‘winning’.”
“Well, either way. I've invited people and offered tickets out to just fill the seats. Only a few, so he won’t think the cinema is empty. Our seats are at the very back.”
“You’re so much sweeter than you look, Changbin-hyung.”
It’s his turn to frown, now. “Thank you, I think?”
But Hyunjin doesn’t linger, focusing back on his laptop. “You’re welcome. Were you thinking of bringing him straight back here afterwards? How about drinks? Not to get, like, super drunk. But like, buzzed?”
“Maybe? I-I don’t know, I haven’t been thinking about it so much as just.. going with the flow.” Hyunjin arches an eyebrow, still not looking up, so he rambles on. “Drinks.. drinks could be good. The showing is at 5 P.M., so we could go for a few drinks around 7-8 P.M…”
He finally gets an approving nod, so he shuts up. “I’ll stay in my room, but I’ll help you set up something here for you both to come back to?”
“Oh, uh, I don’t think.. you want to be in the dorm, Hyunjinnie-yah.” Not if the night goes how Changbin is hoping it will, anyhow. “I’ll give you my card. Why don’t you go out for dinner and stuff? Take Felix too, so he isn’t left alone in their dorm.”
For a second, Hyunjin hesitates. Changbin rarely offers to pay for anyone, unless it’s Jeongin, or Seungmin specifically asks for it. That kind of generous doting is more typical of Chan. Hyunjin isn’t afraid to look a gift-horse in the mouth either, and as he thinks, it's clear the moment he figures it out. “Oh my god. Binnie-hyung.”
Changbin can feel himself flushing, warmth spreading through his face. “Hyunjin.”
“Oh my. God. Yeah, I can be out of the house. Why do you want the house to be so empty, Hyung?” He looks delighted, like Changbin had told him that Christmas came early. “I’ll work with you on this, but you have to let me tell Lixxie. I can wait until the night you do it, but I have to tell him why.”
It’s a pretty generous compromise, as far as Hyunjin’s track record is concerned. Changbin shudders at the memory of how much Chan got relentlessly bullied after enlisting Hyunjin’s help with their baby bread. It was pointless anyway, because Jeongin ended up beating him to making the first move. Simply more fuel for Hyunjin’s teasing. “Okay, fine. But don’t tell him until Seungmin is with me. And don’t drain my bank account, please?” A stupid comment, considering they’re all especially comfortable after the last comeback, but it gets Hyunjin’s lips to quirk mischievously.
“No promises. Okay, this isn’t as bad as you made it sound. A movie, drinks, and a cute gift, followed by a night of fun.” He makes a show of ignoring Changbin rolling his eyes. “Won’t you need your card? Especially if you get snacks and stuff for the cinema.”
Changbin was starting to feel way more prepared than he originally was. Really, he deserved a pat on the back for the amount of planning he’d apparently already done. “Nah, I transferred a bunch of money over to my private card. Plus, I'll probably have to buy the snacks before the movie. They don’t have Seungminnie’s favourites there. He’ll probably want fruit, too, so I’ll get that beforehand.”
“Ah.. I knew the strawberries in our kitchen weren’t just for us!” Hyunjin looks triumphant as he slams the laptop shut. “You’re whipped, dude.”
“Shut up! I literally use those strawberries for smoothies.”
“Yeah, cause they remind you of Seungminnie. That’s gay, bro.”
Five Days Before
An impromptu day out shopping. Changbin should’ve known something up when it was these two that dragged him to the mall with that excuse, no staff in sight as matching grins and sparkling eyes turned on to the max.
“Soo~” Jisung is the one who starts them off down the winding path, “A little birdie has told us-“
“That you have a date!” It’s uncanny how easily they finished each other's sentences.
“I’m going to kill him.” Changbin sighed through clenched jaw, “He said he wouldn’t tell you anything yet. I’m killing him.”
“Oh, no!” Felix laughed gently, waving his hands. Jisung nodded emphatically next to him. “-Hyunjinnie-hyung didn’t tell us any real details. Just that a date was happening and that we need to get an outfit sorted for you.”
“We don’t even know who you’re going on a date with,” Jisung adds, pouting for effect. “Although we-“
Felix kicks him. Jisung shuts up. Changbin... he pretends not to notice.
“..Fine, but I'm still kicking his ass later.” The two exchange a guilty look, and Changbin really is no better than Chan, because he folds immediately. “… Let’s go get some lunch first, my treat. Are you guys hungry?”
Any guilt is washed away as they nod eagerly.
They end up eating at a curry restaurant in the food court. Felix looks happy as he settles into his seat with a steaming plate of dongaseu, eyes sparkling at the more than generous helping of gochujang spooned over the top. Jisung’s japchae looks beyond mild in comparison, but they both settle down in their shiny red, plastic seats next to each other and mutter thanks to Changbin as they eye up their meals.
Changbin himself just gets a cutlet set with udon, barely even sitting down before he shovels a slice of pork into his mouth. This place is good every time he comes here, though usually he’s not the one paying.
He lets them all eat in silence for a little bit, laughs as Felix sneakily mixes some of his gochujang into Jisung’s noodles.
It’s only when they’re nearly done with the food, either scraping up the last pieces or playing with whatever’s left, that Changbin speaks up. “So.. I’m supposed to just leave it to you two to find an outfit for me?”
The peaceful quiet they’d been building breaks when Jisung grins, nodding as he sets his chopsticks down. “Yeah! You’re in good hands, we’re experts.” Changbin doesn’t have it in him to make a sarcastic comment, not with the purest smiles in the group sitting right in front of him beaming. “But we gotta know some stuff first.”
As if on cue, Felix leans forward, hands clasped together on the table. “-Like where you’re going! Is it a fancy date? Do we need to go to the tailors and get an actual suit picked, or are we thinking a cute stroll through the park? Are we inside, or outside? Is it social enough that you have to keep some decorum, or are we going risky?” His eyes sparkle like this is something he delights in, and Changbin begins to wonder just how many times they’ve done this.
Despite himself, he laughs. “Every single one of you are freaks. I already have Hyunjinnie on my back about risks.” ‘On his back’ is really just a polite way to say Hyunjin won’t shut up about him trying to get laid. “We’re seeing a movie first, so nothing fancy. But we’re going out for drinks after, so maybe a bit nicer than… not? I- I don’t know, I was planning on just jeans and a shirt.”
Felix nods understandingly, resting a hand on Changbin’s arm like he’s just confessed to a serious crime. “I know. What movie are you seeing? Something cosy, or scary, or…?”
“Mmmh.. We’re watching A Star Is Born.” At their ludicrous stares, he sighs loudly. “I know. I know! But it’s showing at the moment-“
“That’s Seungminnie’s favourite!”
He sounds somewhere between exasperated and fond as he repeats, “I know.”
Jisung is typing rapidly on his phone, and his notes app is open when he lays it flat on the table to stare at him. “I’m taking notes,” He says by way of explanation, but even being on the wrong side of the table to read it, Changbin can tell that there are far too many emojis and too few words to actually encompass what they’ve been talking about. “I’m thinking warm? A nice sweater, some plain slacks. It’s gotta seem simple so it’s not too much for a first date, but something that really highlights Hyung’s strengths.”
It’s then that he realises he isn’t really party to this conversation, more just a passenger, because Felix draws back to drum his fingers. “I agree. Sleeves rolled up? Maybe a beanie or something. He should wear his glasses!”
“Mmm, maybe? It’s more cute than alluring, though. I mean, hell, even I’d wanna kiss Changbinnie-hyung when he’s wearing glasses. This mystery guy is probably the same.”
Changbin splutters. They both ignore him.
“Yeah, we’ll come back to the glasses when we’ve got an outfit sorted. A collared sweater or normal?”
“Definitely not a collared one; Imagine you’re about to get laid, and the guy is wearing multiple layers under a sweater?”
“Guys-”
“Eugh. Point taken. Okay.. We could try the new store that opened first. They have a really nice autumn range out, so we might get lucky there…” Felix counts off on his fingers, looking somewhere beyond the table. “There’s also a menswear place downstairs, for slacks.”
“Guys.” Changbin sighs. “You’re way too into this. Can we just go to that first store and see what we find?”
“Mm, you should be leaving this to the experts, but fine.”
As they pack up from the restaurant to head to the clothing store they’d been talking about, Jisung and Felix keep exchanging extremely obvious glances, including exaggerated side-eyes and raised eyebrows. It gets so ridiculous, an entirely mouthed argument happening with him in the middle as they walk, that Changbin sighs.
“Guys.. If you have questions, you can just ask. I’m not telling you who, though.”
Jisung lights up and then deflates slightly again. “Aww, you won’t? We won’t tell anyone!”
Changbin deadpans. “You’d tell Minho-hyung immediately. Hyung would tell Chan-hyung, and Chan-hyung would probably let it slip to Innie, because he can’t help himself. Hyunjinnie already knows. If I tell you, everyone knows.”
Before Jisung can whine some more, Felix tilts his head. “But would that be so bad? I mean, we all just want you to be happ-“
“You didn’t say Seungminnie. Jeonginnie would tell him anyway, but you made it sound like he already knows.” Jisung interrupts, and Changbin feels the sweat pooling in his palms where he’s shoved them into his jeans. Jisung prods him in the side, frowning deeply. “Did you tell Minnie before any of us? Man, that’s mean!”
Blessed, blessed Jisung. Changbin sighs, letting his shoulders fall. “Yeah, Minnie knows. He was the.. um, the first to know, actually.”
Felix is frowning again, an expression that feels inherently wrong. “He knows who it is? And you’re going out on the 16th?”
“Yeah..?”
“Mm.. Seungminnie said he was going out that night.” Before Changbin can panic, Felix is leaning past him to Jisung, looking sad. “Do you think-“
Jisung is frowning now, too. “We can’t be sure. Either way, it’s.. It’s fine. If he knows, it’s out of our hands.”
Changbin just wishes he could stop feeling so goddamn confused. “Guys, what the hell are you talking about?”
“Nothing.” They say in unison, leaning back to face straight ahead.
He should honestly just resign himself to his fate, he realises. They’re going to keep being shady and refusing to explain anything to him, and he’ll have to pretend it isn’t driving him insane to have the two nosiest members so close to such a sensitive truth- one he truly doesn’t want to let out.
If this works- if his plan goes anywhere, if Seugmin even likes what he has in store- well, someone will have to know eventually. For safety, for the sake of their careers, even just for the integrity they have towards their members, towards Chan. But for now? For now, Changbin would like to keep this tender, fluttering thing to himself.
For just a few days, he can just be a guy getting ready for a date, and the butterflies in his stomach will remain only that.
-
The first outfit they throw together for him is a… choice. Despite what they had said earlier, it’s a collared sweater- but the buttoned collar is sewn into the sweater, more of an illusion than a real layer. It’s a nice concept, but in reality, it sits frumpy and uncomfortable on Changbin, awkward when paired with the light wash jeans. Not a look that suits him, or maybe any human with a reasonable sense of style.
They learn from there- no more collars, no matter what- Changbin would laugh at the sentiment if the fuss they were causing wasn’t working his fluttery anxiety into pure stress. Outfit after outfit, clothes are shoved into his hands- skinny black jeans and a buttoned shirt, a combination that Jisung had been responsible for and still fake-gagged at, passing him a t-shirt and a nice beige-ish windbreaker.
It’s Felix’s turn to huff, though, instantly tugging the jacket back off the second Changbin steps back out. “You’re going on a date, not a hike. We don’t need to be practical.”
“It was worth a shot!”
“Are you sure you guys are good at this?” In all honesty, his patience was running thin with only the second outfit they put him in, but the squabbling is seriously getting to be too much. Never has he wished more that Minho was around to keep everyone in line.
“Duh! Just like. Stop fussing, pretend you’re a mannequin, or something.” Jisung doesn’t even look at him as he speaks, rifling through the frankly ridiculous- pile of clothes they’d hauled to the changing rooms. When he does, it’s only to hold up another sweater- this one a thick cable knit, something heavy-looking. “What do you think, Lix?”
“Mm, I don’t know. It’s probably going to get pretty hot at whatever bar they go to, and we want to keep the suspense, right? We probably shouldn’t put him in anything he’ll have to take off pre-emptively.” Their attitude is fit for a much more serious occasion- Felix has one hand on his hip, the other on his chin, looking deeply contemplative. “His date is probably going to go into this feeling the suspense, right? I mean, they’ve agreed to a date, so clearly they’re attracted-”
Changbin is just so, so tired of this back and forth.
“He doesn’t know that it’s a date.” The words escape him unbidden, but at this point he just- wants to go home. He’ll wear his own goddamn clothes if it means they’ll shut up.
They both baulk, heads snapping to face him. “What?” Someone mutters, but Changbin isn’t looking at who.
“I said, Seungmin doesn’t know that it’s a date.”
He doesn’t realise his mistake until it’s too late. “Whoa, wait! Wait, wait, wait, whoa, Minnie? Hyung!!” Jisung launched forward, grabbing Changbin’s arms and shaking him. “Hyung! Fuck him not knowing, why didn’t you- Ohhh.”
“Hyung- Um, why doesn’t he know?” Felix is more gentle with it, setting the jacket down to rest a hand on Changbin’s shoulder. “I mean- well- why?”
He just sighs, rubbing a hand at his face. He’s too tired for this. “I-I don’t know! I don’t know. I just… All he knows is that we’re going to see a movie together. I was supposed to tell him- I was going to..” He feels sick just trying to say it out loud. “I was going to, um, confess to him. Afterwards. That’s why I didn’t want anyone else to know. I didn’t even want to tell Hyunjinnie at first.”
Felix’s hand is comforting, rubbing gently at his elbow. “Okay. I can’t say I’m sorry, we know- We kinda had a feeling. At least, at first- I was kinda worried when you said Minnie knew, because he-“
It’s Jisung’s turn to dig into his ribs, hissing at Felix, “He! Cares a lot about you and would’ve wanted you to have a good date.”
“Yeah, that! Well, that’s good to know.” Refusing to elaborate, Felix turns back to the pile of their options. “In fact, that’s really helpful to know. As his roommate, I happen to know exactly what outfit Seungminnie would want his date to be in.” With a quirk to his lips, he fishes one of the ones Changbin hadn’t tried yet out of the pile- a maroon, crewneck sweatshirt with tight-cuffed sleeves. It’s plain, simple, almost too nondescript.
“That’s.. Simple. Would Seungmin really want to see that?” He can’t help but question it. What was so appealing about such a boring sweater?
But Felix seems to have none of those doubts. “Ugh, trust me. If anything is going to win you points with him, it’s this. I say just wear a nice vest under it, but do not take the sweater off unless you’re offering it to Minnie because he’s cold. You want to keep that suspense. He’s probably going to want to rip this off of you, so you have to keep him guessing~” He trills, but Changbin can only imagine he’s joking. Seungmin is pretty damn put-together when they aren’t messing around. Surely a sweater wasn’t enough to do all that to him.
He doesn’t say that, though; he just shrugs, taking the sweater. “Sure. But can I ask you a favour, Lixxie? Now that you know-” Felix perks up and turns to face him fully, nodding. “Can you make sure Seungmin just dresses comfortably? I know we’re- we’re here buying me new clothes, but I kinda just want him to be able to relax. Is that okay?” If they have to know now, the least they could do is actually help him.
“Aw, hyung! That’s so cute of you.” Jisung coos from where he’s stood, elbow deep in the second pile of clothes. Changbin fights the urge to tug his ear.
“Absolutely! I can do that. I think I know exactly what he’s going to wear, actually.” When Changbin raises an eyebrow, he just smiles. “It’s a surprise~”
“-Anyways!” Jisung is quick to change the topic, a pair of jeans slung over his arm. ”I know you tried these on before with that other shirt, but I think you’ll like them better with that sweater, so try them again? Also, you should borrow Hyunjin’s hat. You know the red beanie? Yeah, I think that would look good! Also, revisiting the glasses, yes.”#
…
Three Days Before
As always, that excited, prepared feeling burns out fast. Changbin, lying awake in his bed, feels jittery. There’s a thrum of something under his skin, an uncomfortable itch that sits right beneath his ribs. Inexplicably, his heart jack-rabbits, slowly working the anxiety up his throat until he finally sits up, hands clenching and unclenching in the sheets. This is stupid. The whole thing is ridiculous.
The thought had been haunting him for weeks, but he’d always managed to push it aside. In light of their recent developments, Changbin had been so ready to sing his affections out loud for once that the very idea had nearly escaped him. Now, in the silent emptiness of his bedroom? It was all he could think of.
What if this wasn’t what Seungmin wanted?
At first, when Seungmin had said ‘I’d wear it’, smiling so charmingly at him, Changbin had stupidly taken it to mean exactly what he’d wanted to hear. His affection, this stupid, stupid crush on Seungmin that had gotten out of hand, his love, Seungmin would accept it in any form it took- even if it started in the form of a stupid collar. It all sounded stupid now. Of course that wasn’t what he meant.
Seungmin probably was just teasing, as he’d originally thought. Seungmin had been messing around, playing into their dynamic, feeding into whatever Changbin said to keep the joke going. It didn’t matter if they were close, or if Seungmin trusted him, or just how close his own feelings were to spilling out like guts, because it had been a joke. He’d gotten caught up in that rush Seungmin always gave him, like all the air was squeezed out of him and he was dizzy with the lightheadedness, mellow and ready to do anything for him. And then, he’d been swept away in Hyunjin’s enthusiasm, that passionate support he always had in his corner.
He couldn’t back out now, could he? Hyunjin had been so happy for him, could probably tell that this was all out of Changbin’s comfort zone. Seungmin, too- he’d already told him to clear his plans, invited him to the movie. He could probably pretend, act like this was just a friendly hangout, and he could easily make it convincing. Changbin was a performance artist at heart, he knew what to do to make people glance right over him. But.. the guilt would eat away at him. The guilt of knowing that Seungmin was trusting him, enjoying his presence, all the while not knowing that he’d had other intentions the whole time. Not knowing that Changbin had spent so many sleepless nights just like this- quite often not so cold, never usually cold over the thought of Seungmin, but something else- not even knowing about the god forsaken leather he now had hidden in his closet.
What would Seungmin even think of him if he knew? Would he be able to look at Changbin, at least laugh at him? If not for how far the joke went, then for how deep these awful feelings had burrowed? Even in his almost delirious state of anxiety, Changbin knew that wouldn’t happen. Seungmin would never laugh at someone if he didn’t think he could make them laugh too. He was good, too good, always trying to make sure everyone else felt okay in his own quiet way.
Changbin’s head found its place in his hands, dragging them down his face. Something, probably guilt, chewed at his gut. Three days. He had three days to do something. Fix this, clarify what Seungmin wanted, and find a hole to die in somewhere. Communicating would be a good start, but how awful would that be? He can barely handle these thoughts himself, and if Seungmin were here, he’d make a joke about the rabbit-like pace of his heart. It was awful. Awful that he wasn’t here to lighten the mood, awful that Changbin was still thinking about him, awful that he thought he even deserved Seungmin’s company... So, no, he couldn’t communicate this. Not to his face.
He just wished he could make it right with the snap of his fingers. He’d felt like that before, especially early on after they’d all debuted. Tensions were always high, Chan was doing the best he could to keep everything in order, but Hyunjin and Han were arguing so often, and as a freshly-debuted group, there was so much expectation on them that it was no wonder they were all so wired up. And Changbin did what he could; he could remember all too well the feeling of his fingers gliding over the keys of his laptop, words appearing on the screen but never really feeling like his, just knowing that he had to get some lyrics down, that they had to start somewhere. He’d never trade the effort it took for the world, but it sounded so nice to just be able to.. Click, and set it all right.
He felt like that now, too. There’s nothing he wanted more right now than for it to be easy. But Seungmin deserved better than easy, better than Changbin, who rushed ahead and made decisions but couldn’t even bear to see them through because it wasn’t easy.
Sleep was definitely unachievable at that point. Instead of tossing and turning some more, Changbin sighed and got out of bed fully. He’d make some hot chocolate or something, maybe get a snack. If that didn’t help either, he could just review the tracks Chan sent him yesterday again. He already knew they were good, had a list of feedback to send back, but it was something to do. Push comes to shove, he could always go to the gym- his typical one is open 24 hours. It would tire him out, give him something to focus his thoughts on. Anything to get him away from this horrid feeling of something crawling under his skin. Anything to escape the idea that the itch would always be there so long as he carried the guilt.
It turns out he wouldn’t have to do any of these things for a distraction because when he lumbers into the living room, Hyunjin is already sprawled over the couch, one leg hooked over the backrest and the other stretched out. He’s watching something on their TV, even though it was rapidly nearing one in the morning; the only indication that Hyunjin even knows how late it's gotten is that the volume is turned down quiet, so quiet that Changbin hadn’t heard it in his own silent wallowing.
Hyunjin barely even glances up at him. “Cookie?” He holds one up, and they do look good. “Lixxie brought some earlier.”
Trying to breathe evenly, Changbin steps forward to accept the offered cookie, sinking into the crappy armchair. “He did?”
“Yeah. You were at the studio, but he dropped by to give us some. Minnie helped make them, apparently.”
He says nothing in response. Pretends to take a small bite, faces the TV instead. “What are you watching?”
“A documentary about...” Hyunjin squints as he brings up the name on the screen. “Kim Tschang-yeul.” When he notices Changbin looking at him, he shrugs. “I’m not actually watching it. How come you’re awake?”
Changbin swallows dryly. “Couldn’t sleep.”
It’s not a lie.
“How about you?”
It’s not the full truth either.
Hyunjin is watching the TV resolutely, but something about the distance of his expression tells Changbin that he’s still not really paying attention. “Same here.”
He thinks Hyunjin gets it, whether it’s the truth or not.
They stay pretty quiet after that. He eventually eats the cookie, and it is good, but the guilt still eats away at him more strongly than any hunger. It’s only when the cold light of dawn begins peeking through the blinds that they both sigh and get up from the couches, Changbin resting a hand on Hyunjin’s shoulder in solidarity before they both resign themselves to a desperate final few hours of sleep.
-
The morning of, heart already in his throat, Changbin wakes up to a litany of messages.
Hyunjiinnie❣️🕺:
I’ll be out of your way until you leave. Go get him Binnie!! <3
J.One 🐹🎧🎼:
Bow chicka WOW WOW please send updates in vivid detail. Good luck!
Lixxie:
Seungminnie has been smiling all morning, and im glad i know why!! You’ll do great dont worry hyung. Cookies for both of you if you update me first and tell Sung nothing ;p
Bread 🦊:
I know wgat you are
Puppy <3:
Looking forward to the movie hyung :)
He replies to none, puts his phone down, and resigns to get ready for the day.
-
He only finally starts to feel a bit calmer as he paces outside the theatre, but only when he sees Seungmin approaching him from down the street. It’s quiet out, just late enough that the sky is fading to a pleasant blue, but it’s still a public place, so it’s no wonder that Seungmin currently has a mask tugged up over his nose. He looks stunning though- he’s got this soft, well-worn hoodie on with the sleeves rolled up, and a pair of skinny jeans that Changbin has seen thousands of times before, but to him he still looks like an angel sent to grace the earth. He looks comfortable, and that’s all he really wanted.
With the way he’s running- taking big bouncing steps, even though they’re both early- the longer sections of his fringe bounce around like floppy dog-ears, and Changbin is so, so endeared.
He tries to feign casualty when Seungmin slows to a stop in front of him and clearly smiles, if the crinkle of his eyes is anything to go by, but his hand is sweating in his pocket and part of him almost wants to bolt right there. It’s not just guilt anymore, but anxiety; Changbin had set himself to a standard that his date didn’t even know about. He needs to make this good without making it weird; if Seungmin has a good time, maybe he can be forgiven for buying the collar.
Oh god, what if Seungmin thought he was being stupid, taking him to see a movie and acting so anxious about it? What if he finally discovers that Changbin is a total loser? He obviously already knew, but what if this, like.. Solidifies it?
Seungmin peers at him curiously. “Hyung?”
As a cover for his awkward behaviour, he reaches out and snaps the elastic of Seungmin’s mask against his cheek. “Minnie, it’s good to see you. Are you excited?”
“Ow! Rude. I am, I really like this movie, I- I didn’t know they’d be doing a cinema rerun so soon, so i’m glad you got us tickets! Thank you, Bin.” He’s smiling all sweetly, clearly holding back from rocking on his heels in excitement. “What’s with the bag?”
Changbin grins as he lifts it up, shaking it slightly back and forth. “Snacks!” He’d ran to the store in the morning, grabbing all sorts. There was also a tub of orange slices he’d peeled this evening before leaving, and some bottles of water shoved at the bottom. “I think I got all our favourites. And some tissues!”
“Ew, gross.”
“Like you aren’t going to cry like a little baby.”
“Whatever, anyways. I feel underdressed now! Did you get lost in Hyunjin-hyung’s wardrobe?” As he grins, Seungmin circles him, poking and prodding Changbin all around. He does, inexplicably, feel like prey like this.
Instead of some embarrassing overreaction, he catches Seungmin’s arm when he finally comes back around, twisting it just slightly so he couldn’t budge, “Yah! I can dress nicely when I want to. I was going to take us to get drinks after, Hyung’s treat, but if you’re going to be a brat-”
But Seungmin is done fussing, leaning into the restraint so that Changbin’s grip fails with a sweet little grin. “You had me at Hyung was paying.”
-
The movie, thankfully, went smoother than anything else had so far. The seats were decently full- believable for a rerun of a decently popular movie.
It wasn’t like Changbin had chased people down on the streets offering free cinema tickets- No, in all honesty, what he’d done was much shadier. He’d made an online listing.
It was everyone else’s fault, honestly, for agreeing to such a strange offer of free tickets. They were lucky he was just some desperate guy on a date, not some weirdo luring them all to an empty theatre to kill them, or something.
Their seats were on the very back row- not exactly in the middle, that would’ve been too perfect, but rather just in the left-back corner. Seungmin looks positively giddy as they slip into the seats, already digging through the little snack bag and, predictably, fishing out the container of orange slices. Changbin can feel the stupid smile on his face as he tries to settle and wait for the movie to start.
…
Changbin would like to delight in making fun of Seungmin for looking all teary-eyed and pouty as the lights come up, the movie over, but honestly he’s not much better. No one is, really- there’s a cacophony of sniffles around the theatre, one person even glares directly at Changbin- for being the reason they watched the movie to begin with, he presumes.
He can’t blame them. As he watches Seungmin’s pout deepen as he fusses with the pack of tissues, something echoes in his mind, something he remembers from watching back on their videos, which he so rarely did.
He’d make the best husband.
He’s someone I can picture a future with.
Thinks of his own words; If Seungmin disappeared from my life? I’d feel so empty, life would be so boring…
I wish to die earlier than him.
And maybe, just maybe- as Seungmin looks up at him with these big, wet eyes- could he be thinking the same? That maybe- he too had spent this entire movie thinking just how them it was. Minus all of the… well.
He wipes his eyes and focuses on messing up Seungmin’s hair instead.
-
The bar is.. lively, to say the least. It’s more of a western-style one; booths tucked along the outer wall, smaller tables closer to the main attraction- a small stage, with a karaoke setup. Changbin hadn’t realised it was a music venue too, but it almost felt right. Working or not, music was part of who they were. Music brought them together- though if he thought too hard about that, he’d probably start thinking about A Star Is Born again, and get all emotional.
Instead, he busies himself with weaving a path through to an empty booth, his grip gentle on Seungmin’s wrist until they’re both slipping into plush leather seats. It’s loud, so he has to lean in to speak, “What do you want to drink?”
Seungmin doesn’t lean in to listen though, just ducking his head to watch Changbin as he speaks, leaving a- a frankly scandalously small amount of space between them. Between their mouths.
Changbin needs a drink. Something to busy his hands and mouth with. Seungmin looks so curious when he pulls away, blinking those wide eyes at him. Changbin wants to do awful things to him just to see how cute he’ll look, asking for more.
“Surprise me.”
This is going to be a long evening.
-
Changbin’s lucky he’s only one drink in, because any more and he wouldn’t have had the inhibition to stop himself from dropping their next round. Even still, his grip slips dangerously on the sweaty glass at the sight of the man looming over Seungmin, who is still sitting in their booth. The strangers got one knee half-pressed into the seat next to Seungmin, who is barely even glancing at him, instead perking up when he sees Changbin approaching.
As he sits, slipping around the bench until he’s sitting much closer to Seungmin than he was earlier, he tries to avoid reading into the way Seungmin shuffles closer to him as well, instead staring up at the guy.
He doesn’t seem to notice Changbin’s arrival, though; if he does, he’s doing a great job at not acknowledging it, eyes focused purely on Seungmin. At least he’s clearly not a fan who’s recognised them; there’s none of that manic admiration in his eyes, nor the flush of someone who’s run into an idol when they least expect it. He just looks expectant.
“C’mon, you’re handsome enough, why won’t you let me buy you a drink?”
And oh, that does not sit well with Changbin. He shouldn’t react, he knows, but he’s always been a bit reactive, a bit of a jealous creature. It’s pure animal instinct that drives him as he slides Seungmin’s drink closer, into his hands, before making a show of wrapping an arm around his shoulders as he smiles up at the guy.
“Actually, he doesn’t need anyone else buying his drinks for him-” And that would be excusable, he could easily explain that away as him simply defending his friend, but Changbin continues, “Not when i’m already here. Isn’t that right, Min?”
He almost winces when he turns to glance at Seungmin, only to find his eyes already on him, blown wide and jaw clenched, throat working. Changbin can feel himself go pink, so he turns back to the stranger. “Got it?”
He’s clearly embarrassed because he doesn’t even argue, just mumbles some sort of apology and stumbles away. The second he’s gone, Changbin tries to pull away and apologise, but a hand catches him, holding him in place over his shoulder. “Hyung-”
“Minnie, I'm sorry, that was- that was rude of me, I shouldn’t have-“ Once again, he tries to pull away, but his hand is tugged back into place.
“Hyung, just- just give me a minute.” Seungmin’s face is flushed pretty under the fluorescent bar lights, unwilling to let go of Changbin’s hand. If anything, he draws it lower until his palm is flat against his chest. He can feel Seungmin’s rabbiting pulse.
God, he’s probably so uncomfortable, and he’s just trying to tell Changbin without using words. It’s going to be so awkward from now on, they’re barely going to be able to perform together- Chan’s never going to trust him near Seungmin ever again. Or any of the members, for that matter...
“Let’s get out of here, Changbin.” He finally lets go of his hand, but only so he can down his drink in one long sip. “Take me to your dorm, yeah, hyung?”
“U-Um, sure.. Jinnie isn’t home, is that okay?”
If Changbin had been paying attention instead of staring nervously at the table, he’d have seen the way Seungmin’s eyes flashed. “Even better.”
-
The tension feels ready to snap as they step into the dorm. Seungmin looks confused, like something heavy has been weighing on his mind all night. Between Changbin’s overly indulgent behaviour and the stunt he’d pulled back at the bar, he almost isn’t surprised that Seungmin has caught on to something. Frustratingly smart, as always.
Neither of them says anything at first; they hang their coats up, toe their shoes off, and Seungmin wanders into the apartment, making his way to the kitchen. He’s been here enough that Changbin trusts that he knows where to get what he wants, knows Seungmin probably just wants to busy himself with something whilst he organises his thoughts.
When Changbin is done fussing and pretending to lock the door again, he finds Seungmin lingering near the kitchen island, leftover strawberries from the fridge in his hands. Seungmin meets his eyes to smile slightly as he takes a bite of one. Maybe he is predictable.
Changbin smiles back on autopilot, probably looking as stiff as anything as he heads over to the sink to get a glass of water. They’re being quiet, too quiet, but he just can’t find the right words. He’s had a great time, of course he had, he’ll never pass up on an opportunity to spoil Seungmin a little, but.. It still eats away at him beneath his ribs. Seungmin doesn’t know why he asked him to go out today. Seungmin doesn’t know that Changbin was trying to ask him out, not just to go out.
He should say something. He really should, right? He’s let it go too far.
“Seungminnie-”
“Binnie-”
They start at the same time, and it’s just about ridiculous enough that it gets them both to laugh, finally breaking some of the tension. Seungmin gestures for him to go first, and Changbin laughs again nervously. “Okay.. Wow, this is.. Terrifying. Hyunjin didn’t tell me it would be this terrifying.”
Seungmin’s head cocks to the side. “Hyunjin?”
“Yeah. Had to ask Jinnie for help. I- Seungmin, I haven’t been honest with you- about any of this tonight. I mainly wanted to bring you here to give you something, but I wanted to take you out beforehand, and-”
Seungmin cuts him off, scowling lightly, “Hyung. Is this about you taking me out on this date and being weird about not telling me?”
Changbin lets his head fall; the weight of the thoughts just too heavy to bear. “I’m sorry, I-”
“Hyung.” Seungmin is more insistent this time, ducking so that he can’t hide from him. “I knew. You know that, right? It’s important to me that you know that.”
“You knew?”
“Of course I knew. That movie only came out five years ago, hyung, that’s not nearly long enough for them to rerun it, so I was already suspicious. Plus, you bought all those snacks, and you paid for our drinks, and you’ve been acting weird all night. Of course I knew that it was a date. At least, I thought it was, and spent most of the night hoping I was right. I was losing hope until you got all jealous at the bar.”
It’s so unlike him, but Changbin is shaking. He can feel his hand shake where it’s clenched into a slight fist; if he doesn’t think about it, he can blame it on the buzz of alcohol. At least Seungmin doesn’t sound angry or disgusted by how possessive he’d acted.
If anything, his tone gets impossibly softer as he grabs Changbin’s arm. “I just wish you’d told me it was a date. Ah..” He hears more than sees Seungmin run the other hand through his hair. “I wouldn’t have been upset. I would’ve dressed up more, or something.”
And because he hates himself, because Changbin can never settle for an easy out, he blurts out, “I didn’t want you to dress up. I didn’t want you to be anything other than yourself.”
But Seungmin smiles like he always does. “Except yours, right? I think you’d like me to be that.”
It’s an attempt to get him laughing again, because Changbin has been frowning so much it’s starting to hurt, but it doesn’t quite work. “But would you like to be that? I should’ve asked that from the very start instead of doing all this, and I...”
“Is this you finally asking me out? Because the answer was always yes.”
Changbin’s head jerks up, staring at him incredulously. “But- you didn’t say anything, I started to think- I thought I made this all up.”
Seungmin’s expression creases in exasperation, a cute little furrow in his brow that, despite himself, Changbin wants to smooth away. Preferably with his lips. “Hyung.. I practically told you I was yours.” In that moment, it catches up to them both just how bold that was of Seungmin, because his cheeks flush as he drags the toe of his shoe across the floor. “I didn’t say anything, because… You don’t like big displays, but you like making other people feel like they’re worth one. I knew you’d do the same here. I mean, a movie, drinks, coming home to a gift…?”
Changbin groans loudly at that, finally knocking forward to rest his head against Seungmin’s. “Yeah. I wanted… to do something nice for you. Thought you deserved to know that you’re worth the effort. The gift isn’t as nice of a gesture as you’re thinking, though.”
His admission seems to be enough for Seungmin’s lips to tick back up into a smile, nudging Changbin’s head up with his nose. “Well.. do I get to see? If it helps, I spent the whole night hoping this was a date. If I like the gift, maybe I’ll let you do a re-do.” This time, the joke lands, and he finds himself shoving at Seungmin and laughing as he stands up.
“Ah, you’re so generous, Seungminnie.. I can’t believe you’d even think about giving me a second chance.” Even as he laughs, he feels unsteady as he wanders over to his room. He hasn’t been able to look at the package since it arrived; the implications of it were too heavy for him to face, but now it seemed like the right thing to do. Seungmin wasn’t demanding he do something silly, though Changbin would have done it in a heartbeat. He was just offering his heart out, still beating in his open, bloodied hand, only asking for Changbin’s in return. An exchange, one that left them both vulnerable, but when wasn’t he vulnerable around Seungmin?
As he picks the box up, smoothing over its lid, Changbin takes a deep breath and squares his shoulders. He’s already warned Seungmin, told him it’s not as sweet a gift as he’s thinking. If it goes bad, they can laugh it off together. Seungmin wanted this to be a date.
The fight finally leaves his body.
Seungmin has sat down on the couch when he finally wanders back in, picking timidly at the hem of his jeans. He perks up when he sees Changbin approach, looking awfully puppy-like as he stares up with such wide eyes. He fights the urge to run a hand through his hair, tenderly tug him side to side by the strands, or squish his cheeks. Instead, he takes a deep breath and gently sets the larger box down, shuffling around inside it to pull out the smaller one. When he dares to glance at Seungmin, he’s already watching aptly.
Every time Changbin looks at him, Seungmin is always already looking first. Maybe.. Maybe Seungmin had waited for him all this time. Maybe he was the one who hadn’t been ready.
This time, Changbin really does reach out, aiming to ruffle his hair, but he ends up mostly just petting him. Seungmin’s hair is soft, and he relaxes into the touch even as his smile turns curious. It makes the truth settle nicely in his chest, like a cat curling up in a warm sunspot where it's supposed to be; He would do anything for this loser.
“Yah… Don’t laugh, okay?” The original plan was to put the choker on Seungmin before he could actually see it. Looking back, the idea came from a Changbin who sat alone in his room, feeling confident- the bravado needed for such a gesture seemed to disappear whenever he was around Seungmin. Instead, he hands him that little box, already feeling the pink crawl up his cheeks.
Seungmin's eyes are wide as he takes the giftbox into his lap, easing the lid off to reveal… The collar.
For a second, the world seems to slow down. Changbin opens his mouth, a tirade of apologies and excuses ready to be rattled off, but he stops dead. Because Seungmin doesn’t look confused, or disgusted, or even like he’s about to laugh- his lips are stretched into a grin, crescented eyes glowing with joy as he looks up at Changbin.
“Hyung! You actually did get me a collar!” Seungmin sounds delighted, hands moving carefully to lift it out of the box. Changbin can still remember the feel of it in his hands- cool, smooth, a nice weight to it. Not something you could forget you were wearing. He can’t keep the fondness out of his gaze as Seungmin turns the collar over in his hands, smoothing a thumb over the red leather, tracing the shiny lettering. He looks entranced, a light flush sitting high on his pretty cheeks that wasn’t there before. “Wow..”
“I’m guessing I did good?” Changbin snickers to himself. Seungmin is too focused to acknowledge him. “Ah, I worried a lot about giving this to you. Started to think you were joking, or would find it- me- weird. I guess I didn’t have to worry, huh?”
“Put it on me.” Seungmin snaps his head up, eyes bright. “Bin, will you put it on me?”
And, really, Changbin can never actually be expected to say no to that face. He staggers closer so that he’s standing between Seungmin’s legs, closing that final foot or two of distance between them. Seungmin is pretty much shoving the collar into his hands, baring his throat before Changbin can even take it from him. He’s sat so pretty for him, eyes full of trust between each heavy blink.
The collar in one hand, Changbin raises the other to his head, first gently tousling his hair before tightening his grip just that slight amount more, letting him tilt Seungmin’s head a bit further back. Like this, Changbin is practically leering above him. The hand leaves his hair, trailing down the side of his face, before the grip is placed on his cheeks instead. Seungmin, despite very clearly wanting Changbin to just get on with it, does not make even a sound in complaint. Changbin’s heart swells.
“Good boy.”
It was supposed to be an internal thought, but Changbin’s lips are loose thanks to the relief and the alcohol clinging to his taste buds. Once again, Seungmin surprises him, because before he can apologise, Seungmin exhales shakily, pupils blown out as that flush finally fills out his cheeks.
And Changbin? Changbin can work with this.
“Yeah? Are you being good for me?” That same lightheaded feeling returns, leaving him breathless as he feels how Seungmin nods gently in his grip. “Being nice and patient for me. You’ll get your collar in a minute.”
In that moment, all the anxiety fades into oblivion. How could he be so stupid to think it wouldn’t go just like this? When it came to them together, they’d always end up back somewhere like this.
Changbin squishes his cheeks together slightly, just enough to make his cute mouth pout. He doesn’t even pretend he isn’t staring. “Seungminnie, can-“
He’s cut off by Seungmin leaning up to try and kiss him, fighting against the grip. It’s loose enough that he really doesn’t have to fight. The fact that he pretends to? It tells Changbin everything he needs to know.
Instead of giving him what he wants, Changbin lowers his hand once more to cup his jaw, then a little lower, until his fingers are spread nicely around the top of Seungmin’s throat. He glances upwards, checking for any reaction.
“‘S okay?” His voice has gone gravelly, unrecognisable. Seungmin presses forward into the hand and stops leaning upwards in the stead of a real answer, eyes fluttering shut as Changbin finally closes his fingers, squeezing just the slightest bit. Just enough to give Seungmin that same delicious lightheadedness he gets for free.
The effect is beautiful. Seungmin lets out a new noise- something far more real than an exhale, coming from deep in his throat. It’s like his entire body relaxes into the hand around his throat. Distantly, Changbin thinks, why even need a collar? Why ever put a collar around his throat when Changbin’s hand fits so nicely, like it was supposed to be there, fingers spread over pulse points with the intention of doing nothing but make Seungmin feel good. The grip lets up slightly when Seungmin’s eyes haze over, and he inhales deeply- not like he was drowning, resurfacing for air, but rather like it was merely something in his way; like breathing was just an obstacle to getting Changbin’s hand back around his throat. At least, that's what he gathers by how Seungmin barely sucks in a single gasp of air before he’s pressing back into the waiting hand.
Changbin thinks he deserves a reward. He really has been patient. This time, he doesn’t squeeze his hand to choke, just to gently guide Seungmin back up, up, until finally their lips meet. This time, it's Changbin who gasps.
Kim Seungmin kisses like a starved man, like someone who has been waiting far too long for what he wants. Not drowning, just like he thought, but dehydrated instead, drinking Changbin in as if he were an oasis and it was the only chance he’d get. It drives Changbin further, spurs him on to kiss with a firmness that can only hope to reassure- this wasn't going anywhere. Changbin didn’t hold just anyone by the neck and kiss them dizzy; this was all just for Seungmin, and it was his to keep. Seungmin could take, take, take, and Changbin would continue to give.
That’s why, when Seungmin’s patience finally breaks and he pulls back to gasp out “Hyung, the collar, please,”- Changbin doesn’t tease or play a little longer, he just nods, equally breathless, the taste of strawberry now curling around his taste buds. He could easily get addicted to the taste; the taste of Seungmin, as far as he’s concerned. His left hand had been hanging, useless, holding that damned collar for dear life.
He finally pulls away from Seungmin’s neck, instead holding the collar out in both hands. Turned on as he was- And fuck, there was no doubt about that- he wanted to do this properly, with all the reverence it deserved. As gentle as the kiss he presses to the crown of Seungmin’s head, Changbin smooths the leather around his throat, threading the plain end through the buckle. It's sturdy enough that he’s sure it's not going anywhere without either of them taking it off themselves. Once the strap is all in place, he shuffles the collar around until the ‘PUPPY’ is sat right over Seungmin’s jugular, just so he can loop two fingers beneath it, testing the space he has to breathe.
“Feel okay? You can breathe just fine?” Changbin’s voice comes out soft, but there’s an underlying firmness to it that was not intentional. By Seungmin’s shudder, it’s working for him. He nods against the fingers again, whining slightly in the back of his throat when Changbin shakes his head, tugging slightly at the collar. It’s like everything fell into place; this feels right. “Words, puppy. Need you to tell me if you’re feeling good or not, okay? Not unless you want me to stop.” It’s mean, and is absolutely an empty threat. Changbin just thinks he should be making more noise.
Hapless to do anything but obey, Seungmin nods again, more fervently this time. “Yeah, feels good, it’s good, hyung..” Looking up at him like this, it almost feels like Seungmin watching him in awe, hanging off of his every word and action. Changbin expected it to feel wrong, foreign, but once again, the truth hits him in the moment; with Seungmin, nothing like this could feel wrong. “Hyung-”
Because he can’t help himself, Changbin swoops down to steal another kiss, taking advantage of Seungmin’s slightly parted mouth to slip his tongue in. It’s enough contact to make Seungmin whine into the kiss, meeting his passion in the middle as Changbin licks into his mouth.
Seungmin’s hands have been sitting so patiently in his lap- or rather, clutching at the denim of his jeans- but now they rise, thumbs slipping into Changbin’s belt loops in a desperate attempt to drag him closer. Long fingers curl around his hips, and like this, Seungmin is practically resting his chin on Changbin’s sternum. It’s enough of a stretch that the kiss breaks, ending with Seungmin whining openly into the quiet air of the apartment- the first sound not muffled by another mouth or kept locked in his throat. Changbin can’t kiss him like this, so he rewards him another way; the hand under the collar shifts, continuing its wandering back up until he’s cradling Seungmin’s jaw again, thumb pressed against those pretty pink lips. Not kiss-swollen yet, but getting there.
After an insistent but gentle press with the thumb, he opens up, soft lips parting and tongue lying flat. Changbin doesn’t hesitate, letting his thumb push into that warmth and pressing his tongue down. Without any more directions, Seungmin closes his mouth around the digit, making direct eye contact and sucking.
Changbin feels a shiver run down his back, but he hardly pays it attention; not when Seungmin is like this, expression somewhere between his usual mirth and a puppylike eagerness to please.
When he apparently doesn’t get whatever hint was being given, because Seungmin narrows those pretty, dark eyes and sucks his thumb harder. It draws a shaky exhale out of Changbin. “Minnie…” He’s clearly still missing something because his teeth then close around his thumb, just enough of a nip for him to pull his hand away.
Before he can ask anything, Seungmin is tugging his belt loops closer again, panting slightly even if all he did was suck Changbin’s finger further into his needy little mouth. “Bin. Fuck, Binnie, please let me suck you off, please.”
Holy shit, he is so lightheaded. All the blood rushes from Changbin’s head downwards as he fights the urge to make an embarrassing noise.
He nods instead, smoothing a hand over the side of Seungmin’s face. “Of course, puppy, whatever you want.” Seungmin seems to forget where they are, though, because he reaches straight for the button of his jeans, and Changbin can’t help but laugh. “Minnie, puppy, not out here. Okay? I finally have you, I'm not finally touching you for the first time in the middle of the living room I share, alright? I want to have you in my bedroom.”
To his credit, Seungmin doesn’t even seem ashamed, just slightly hazy as he pouts, taking the hand Changbin offers and standing up. He seems like he’s about to start walking to the bedroom, leading the way, but Changbin can’t have that. Instead, he tugs at that hand until he’s facing him, before Changbin ducks to grab him at the waist and sling him over the shoulder so he can walk them to the bedroom.
Seungmin doesn’t yelp or bat or squeal cutely like expected; his breath just very quietly hitches, releasing on a moan as his hands twitch where they’ve landed on Changbin’s back. “Fuck.. that was hot.”
He sounds faint, though whether it’s from being halfway upside down or turned on, Changbin doesn’t know. He laughs, either way, squeezing Seungmin’s ass under his hand. “Puppy, I toss you about all the time. You can’t say you’re surprised now.”
“Mmph,” Is the emphatic sigh he gets in return. One hand on his ass to keep him in place, Changbin uses the other to close the door behind them. “Couldn’t say how hot it was before. Wasn’t allowed to.”
“Well.. Now you can, baby.” Taking care not to drop him, Changbin lets Seungmin slide back down his front, catching his thighs and guiding them to rest around his waist. Before Seungmin could ever feel unsupported, he’s promptly pinned to the closed door, the contact finally giving them both that delicious pressure right where they want it most.
Changbin is the first to move, his hips incidentally twitching forward into where Seungmin is stretched around him. It works perfectly, despite the friction of denim keeping them separate. Even then, the sharp bite of fabric it gives is almost satisfying, if Seungmin’s breathless laugh is anything to go by.
With each tentative- steadily growing more confident- roll of Changbin’s hips, Seungmin is knocked slightly up the door, jaw falling open with needy little pants. It's all he can do not to maul the boy; Changbin presses forward until he’s kissing at the firm line of his jaw. Every deep grind is blatantly similar to an even more scandalous action, and the thought of fucking him against the door like this has him hissing out in pleasure, biting maybe a little meanly at Seungmin’s jaw.
As he soothes the bite with his tongue, Seungmin keens loudly into the air between them, hands clenching and unclenching in Changbin’s sweater. “Fuck, fuck, do that again.”
It’s ridiculous how well they go together. Changbin bares his teeth, and Seungmin merely bares his throat in return. Like a prey animal, handing itself over in absolute supplication, submitting to whatever the flash of bloodied teeth promises. This time, he latches his teeth right beneath the collar, red leather lying on red indents, groaning as he does so. “Fuck, Minnie, it’s like you were made for me.” Another sharp gasp, another deep roll of hips. “-You were, weren’t you?”
It gets Seungmin to laugh gently around a moan- and what a beautiful sight that is- as he pants back, “Going soft on me, Hyung?”
Changbin can’t help but raise an eyebrow and roll his hips in a filthy grind against Seungmin, feeling him twitch and shake as he grins. “Clearly not.”
“Fuck, you’re awful, that was awful-” But as he says that, he slides his arms up to wrap around his neck, pulling him into the filthiest of kisses.
Pinned to the door, Seungmin’s attempts at meeting the pressure in the middle feel more like a desperate wiggle, too focused on the slick slide of lips as Changbin licks over his teeth. The sound is intoxicating, but clearly not enough, because Seungmin breaks off with a gasp. “Stop- shit.” Pressing his head against Changbin’s, he heaves in a breath. Changbin is so in love. “Stop distracting me. Wanted to suck you off.”
Changbin didn’t realise how easy it was to laugh during sex. Was this even sex? He didn’t know anymore; any experience and rational thought had been left outside the door. Or maybe it left him weeks ago, left in a puddle in that godforsaken practice room. “Careful, puppy. Keep begging like that, and I’ll start to think you have a crush on me.”
Seungmin pushes until he’s able to stand upright again, glaring at Changbin as he sinks down to his knees. The threat of the stare is really, really ineffective when all it does is make him twitch in his boxers, and obvious reaction if Seungmin’s wandering gaze is anything to go by. He’d said it before and never been ashamed of it; Seungmin is sexy when he gets annoyed. It helps that his fingers, finally, are free to pop open the button of his jeans, dragging the zipper down with reverent slowness. Now that he’s on course to get what he wants, Seungmin seems far calmer.
It all makes Changbin feel so powerful in a way he hadn’t expected. Having Seungmin place so much trust in him, bare his throat and trust that Changbin will only close hand or collar around it, sink to his knees and trust that he will cherish the vulnerability for what it is. And he does; Changbin would be hard-pressed to remember a moment he appreciated Seungmin more than he does whenever that vulnerability is shown around him.
He’s definitely appreciating right now as Seungmin barely even bothers to pull the jeans any further down before he’s tugging Changbin’s cock out of his boxers. There’s not even time to be embarrassed, because the sheer admiration in Seungmin’s eyes as he thumbs over the weeping head flares a heat in his gut so strong that any shame is instantly burned up. Changbin isn’t small by any means, but that doesn’t seem to be intimidating to him at all. If anything, he looks even more eager than he had been in theory.
Changbin can’t help but tease a little more. “Go on, puppy. You were being so good for me earlier. You gonna be good for me now?” It has the desired effect, a visible shudder running through Seungmin as he lets his tongue fall out, pressing it flat to the head of his cock. Changbin presses one hand to the door above Seungmin, the other sliding fondly into his hair- not to tug, just to caress, encourage, soothe maybe. Like this, Seungmin is sex incarnate, eyes heavy with want and need, hair mussed up, and lips slick with spit. Those same lips, the ones that have driven Changbin insane so many times before, press heavy kisses to his twitching cock before wrapping around the head. One hand curls around the base, holding him steady as he sinks further down with a fervour he hadn’t quite expected. He doesn’t make it all the way down the first try, throat flexing and convulsing around the intrusion as Seungmin gags faintly.
It takes an immense amount of willpower for Changbin to keep his hips still, to stop from twitching and accidentally fucking forwards into that all-encompassing heat. Seungmin has to take time to adjust, even if he seems just as disgruntled by that fact. But in the time it takes for Seungmin to try again- pulling off with a sinfully wet noise to gasp for air before diving back in- Changbin once again realises something very important; Seungmin is enjoying this.
He’d suspected it ever since he damn near begged to get his mouth on him, but he’d never really thought people could enjoy sucking dick all that much. He’s proven wrong by the way Seungmin’s lips curl into a smile around the stretch of his cock, shuddering every time he drags his mouth back up, creating that delicious suction that has Changbin clenching his fingers in his hair, groaning into the air. With every twitch and stutter of his hips, he fights the urge to tug at those messy strands, drag Seungmin closer.
“Jesus, look at you.” It's a miracle he can even get words out anymore. Seungmin might as well be sucking his brain out in the process. “Such- Such a good boy for me, all pretty.. Pretty on your knees for me. Right? My good boy, yeah?” Changbin knows he can be jealous, knows sometimes he has a knee-jerk reaction to feeling threatened over things that he wants. Nothing could have prepared him for the sheer urge to stake his claim on Seungmin then and there, show him that no one, no one can make him feel as Changbin does. That, as twisted as it may sound, Seungmin is his as much as he has always been Seungmin’s.
That no one else can buy his drinks and then kiss him dizzy.
In turn, there’s nothing quite like the feeling when Seungmin jerked back, barely breathing as he tipped his head forward and moaned loudly into Changbin’s hipbone. “Yes, yes, god yes, m’yours. Your good boy.” Even as he babbles mindless drivel, he continues his ministrations with unforgiving focus- now that his mouth is busy, Seungmin instead begins flicking his wrist, jerking his hand back and forth along Changbin’s cock, a tight vice made smooth by the slick of saliva. There’s some shuffling from underneath, but Changbin is so hazy that he hardly processes it. “-Always been yours, Hyung,”
Seungmin wastes no time in getting his mouth back around him, enthusiastically moaning around the intrusion in a way that sends delicious vibrations straight to Changbin’s core. If it weren’t for the undeniably sloppy way he was moving, he’d almost seem experienced- laving his tongue against the veins running alongside the bottom of his cock, working his jaw to get deeper, making up for any gag reflex with sheer enthusiasm.
His movements get sloppy now, like he’s the one getting off on this, and isn’t that a thought? The steadily increasing tightness deep in Changbin’s groin increases tenfold at the idea of him getting anything out of this, and when he tugs Seungmin back by the hair desperately, it’s almost like a wet-dream come true. With his head finally out of the way as he leans back to breathe, Changbin has a clear view of what Seungmin’s other hand has been busy doing this whole time; at some point since his knees hit the floor, Seungmin has unzipped himself and shuffled just enough to tug his own cock free, hand working desperately over it as he worked on Changbin. It’s only after being pulled away that his hand begins to slow, eyes uncomprehending as they look up.
Once he’s finally breathing steadily again, Seungmin whines, the hand on Changbin’s hip squeezing tight. Distantly, he hopes it leaves bruises. “Why— Why’d you stop me-? Want you to cum, Hyung, come on-“
And Seungmin is so cute like this, knees spread wide beneath him as he pleads with his destroyed voice, Changbin almost gives in, but there’s something he wants just a bit more than that; it’s not like they discussed what they’d be doing beforehand.
“I will, puppy, promise. Hyung will give you what you need, okay?” He is so out of breath. Any stamina gained in the gym clearly didn’t translate to the bedroom. “But I was thinking of fucking you, baby. If that’s what you want?” The pet name was unintentional, but no one seems to be complaining.
Seungmin blinked slowly, cheeks flushing a beautiful pink, as if the idea of getting fucked was any more scandalous than anything else they’d done so far. Or maybe- he’d been so focused on getting his mouth filled, he hadn’t even considered what else Changbin could do to him. He seems too dazed to answer, gaze slowly drifting back down from Changbin’s face, down the line of abdominal muscle visible under the hem of his sweater, the dip of hips into strong thighs.
It’s a void of power, one that Changbin fills by taking Seungmin’s jaw firmly into his hand again, tilting him to look back up. “Words, puppy. Say it, and it's yours, anything you want. You’ve been so sweet for Hyung,” He coos, smiling when Seungmin melts into his grip. “Don’t you think you deserve a reward?”
He tries to nod, but Changbin slips his hands to rest just below his jawline, squeezing lightly in warning. “Mmh- Yes.. Y-Yes, Hyung-”
“Good boy.” He pulls his hand away, settling it into his hair again. “What do you need, Min?”
Seungmin almost looks embarrassed, but he’s shameless as he leans forward to press his tongue flat against the base of Changbin’s cock, like he couldn’t stand being separated from it for too much longer. Either that, or he was hoping that the visual would be distraction enough for Changbin to forget he heard whatever he’s embarrassed about saying. “Binnie..” Another sigh, another press of lips. “I want.. I do want you to fuck me. God, I-” The haziness returns for a moment, the desire palpable in his tone alone. “Definitely.. Um, definitely want you to fuck me.”
He’s so endearing like this. Still slightly absent behind the eyes in a way that makes Changbin want to give, give, give, until he isn’t sure he can take anymore. Wants to take Seungmin to the brink; maybe even make him cry if he’s lucky. “Okay. We can do that. What else, baby, there’s something else on your pretty little mind, isn’t there?”
A beat of silence passes as Seungmin furrows his brow, eyes closing heavily for a second as he gathers the nerves. When they snap open, he looks determined. “Hyung, um, I want you to fuck my face first. Please? Like, until you cum-”
Now he hadn’t expected that. Changbin sucks in a breath, carding his hand through Seungmin’s hair. “If that’s what you want, puppy. We’ll have to talk about this more later, discuss some safety things, but i’m not gonna deny you now. Not when you’ve asked so nicely.” Seungmin relaxes at that, as if he really had it in his silly little head that Changbin could ever say no to him. “If you want me to fuck your pretty mouth, you’re going to have to be extra patient for me if you still want me to fuck you after, okay? Have to let me recover. Can you do that, puppy?”
He knows all this talking is necessary, and nowhere near the amount of communication they should be doing, but in all honesty Changbin has been half-hard since Seungmin asked him to put the collar on, aching since Seungmin made his request. Besides, whatever headspace Seungmin was in right now, he needed to focus on making sure his puppy was feeling good.
Seungmin, obedient and lust-driven to sweetness, nodded succinctly. “Yes, Hyung.”
Changbin scratched the blunt of his nails over his scalp, relishing in Seungmin’s shudder. “Okay, good. Being so good, answering my questions. Are you ready, Min?”
He nods as he shuffles closer on his knees, mouth falling open, and Changbin cannot believe he gets to have this. “Alright, tap my thigh if you need me to stop.” And then he’s taking himself into his hand, taking his time to tease, sliding the tip against Seungmin’s lip. When he finally slides back into that wet warmth, he groans loudly, realising that this is going to be over a lot sooner than he’d like if Seungmin kept hollowing his cheeks like that.
Seungmin has his hands braced on the strong thighs in front of him, eyes fluttering closed as his lips finally slide home, kissing the sparse hairs the razor missed at his crotch. Changbin’s own eyes fall shut, the image beneath him enough to bring his orgasm to a rapid approach before he could ever begin to move his hips. It’s been a while for him; he’d be embarrassed if it weren’t for how eager Seungmin is for it.
He lets them both breathe for a few seconds before, steadily, Changbin draws back, savouring the drag of tongue before snapping his hips back in, using the grip on Seungmin’s hair to meet him in the middle. It’s a test, and before he can ask if it’s still okay, Seungmin is whining around his cock and nodding encouragingly, greedily grasping at his thighs in an attempt to somehow pull him deeper.
The pace picks up from there, Changbin pulling out less tentatively, only as a precursor to thrusting back in. When he starts to worry about why Seungmin would be so willing to sit there and take it, he has to remember that he asked for this- though it’s hard to forget when he’s moaning and drooling at every thrust- asked Changbin to chase his own release like this.
And so he does.
His hands shift so that he’s no longer holding Seungmin by the hair, both hands coming up to hold his head still. It’s like he knows what's coming; held up by Changbin’s hands, Seungmin relaxes, letting himself fall limp and his jaw go slack.
It’s easy, then, to let desire drive him, fucking into the sinful heat of Seungmin’s mouth, gasping and moaning under his breath, cursing everytime that tether within him feels like its ready snap.
Even with how pliant and open he’s keeping his throat, he can still feel the way the head of his cock bullies past the stretch of his throat, burning in his core the same way red burns away at Seungmin’s cheeks as he tries to breathe though his nose. It’s utterly ruining Changbin; He’s not going to be able to look at Seungmin whenever he gets all playfully teary-eyed, not now that he knows just how easily his eyes crinkle with mirth even as his throat is brutally fucked until he’s tearing up for real.
Even when he’s gagging around his cock, though, Seungmin is still so pretty. Bambi-eyelashes fluttering as a visible shudder crawls through him, a line of goosebumps travelling down his neck that Changbin’s would chase under the hoodie with his lips if it weren’t for his priorities. The light from Changbin’s lamp reflects in his dark eyes, their eye-contact never breaking as Seungmin so silently asks for more.
It doesn’t take long for him to feel that familiar tug, and it has him thumbing at Seungmin’s watering eyes as he goes to draw back. “Gonna cum, puppy, where do you-”
Before he can even finish, Seungmin is sinking all the way to the hilt until he’s fully deepthroating Changbin, swallowing rhythmically, seemingly forgetting to struggle at all. It has him barrelling over the edge even faster than he expected, coming down Seungmin’s throat before he can even consider it.
The high is immaculate after spending so much time watching Seungmin’s pure bliss. Changbin almost feels floaty with his breathlessness, eyes falling shut heavily as he panted, groaning at the way Seungmin sucked one last time before sliding back, looking very satisfied with himself.
“Jesus, Min, you could’ve just said you wanted me to.” It’s hard to get a sentence out when he’s still seeing stars, colour barely bleeding into his vision, but Changbin manages.
“Mmm.. Yeah, but I was busy.” Seungmin croaks out, lips swollen and shiny with spit. “And you really didn’t seem to be complaining.”
“Christ..” He can't even find a comeback, not when Seungmin looks so debauched as he smiles smugly up at him. Refractory period be damned, it’s a sight for wet dreams. “You’re something else. Get up here.”
It takes some help, because Seungmin’s knees have practically locked from being on the ground for so long, but the second he stumbles up Changbin is shoving warm hands under his hoodie, clamping down on that small waist as he drags him into another kiss. If he thinks too hard, Changbin can taste himself on his tongue, but he’s still coming down from a high so good that he doesn’t even care.
Seungmin seems to like the long-awaited skin contact as much as he did, because in the next second, hands are tugging demandingly at the hem of that sweater, and he breaks away faster than either of them would like to spit out, “Take this off, Hyung, been driving me crazy since I saw you with it on. Looks so fucking good on you,”
And he listens, happy to do anything that would please Seungmin. As he drags the sweater off and leaves it in a pile on the floor, he takes the thin shirt he’d had on beneath with it, leaving the smooth expense of his back exposed to the cool of the room. Seungmin’s doing the same, discarding his hoodie somewhere on the floor and whining delightedly when warm hands land on his stomach.
Beneath his hands, the flat stretch of Seungmin’s stomach looks beyond appealing, his small waist belying no hints about the lithe strength hidden underneath. It drives him crazy; Changbin can’t help but draw those hands up until they’re settled on the apex of his hips before taking the flesh of Seungmin’s pec between his teeth, biting gently before sucking it hard enough to feel the thrum of life on his tongue, pulling back to lave his tongue over the rich red mark left there.
It’s addictive, after the first, to begin leaving hickies all over Seungmin’s chest, sucking more and more dark marks into his soft skin. When he finally pulls back, dazed, there’s a gorgeous pair of marks sitting in between his pecs that overlap, forming a darkening heart right over his sternum. The sight draws a shuddering breath from him, hand raising to thumb over the bruise.
“Look at this, Min.. Reckon I should make all of them look like this?”
Seungmin laughs through a pant as he glances down. “Cute, but that would take a while.. And I’d rather you do something else with your mouth right now instead.”
“Mm, sure,” It’s not like he’d ever say no to kissing Seungmin now that he’s allowed to, so Changbin happily raises his head to kiss him, drawing his soft bottom lip in between his teeth to chew teasingly. As he does, the hand resting over his sternum shifts to the right until he can graze a finger over Seungmin’s nipple, rushing forward to steal the resulting moan straight from his lips before it can reach the air.
Now that he’s gotten what he wants, Seungmin kisses less like a maelstrom, demanding and relentless, and instead succumbs to the slide of lips against lips as his hands smooth over Changbin’s arms. There’s no urgency to their movements, leaving them both languid and lazy as they make out, even if Seungmin is still undeniably hard against his hip.
Speaking of which, Changbin takes his time in sliding his other hand down the smooth of Seungmin’s abdomen, relishing in the shudder of muscle at his feather-light touch until he can wrap a tight fist around his cock, pulling back to peck at the corner of his lips at the same time as he moves his wrist in a slow, playful twists.
“Do you have any idea how cute you are, puppy?” Changbin sighs fondly as he presses another kiss to his lips, smiling when he pulls back and Seungmin chases him.
He doesn’t seem to be ashamed in the slightest though, his head thudding back against the wall as he pretends to be unaffected, smiling coquettishly. Changbin can read him better than that though; he feels the way Seungmin’s fingers twitch where they’ve stalled on his arms, and can see the way his eyes flutter with every squeeze around his cock. “N- Nghm, no, I don’t- why don't you tell.. Tell me, Changbin?”
It’s so fittingly petty of Seungmin that he can’t help but laugh breathlessly, drifting to nip at his earlobe before muttering into his ear, “So, so cute, honey. Looking so precious on your knees and getting off on making me feel good, cute as anything that you couldn’t help but touch yourself too.”
Seungmin regains his voice when Changbin’s hand vanishes, instead clamping down on his hip to begin steering them to the bed. “You.. ah, you sure do get off on praising me, Hyung-“
Changbin laughs again against Seungmin’s neck, sucking another dark mark right above the collar. He could tell him off for it later; right now, he needed to see Seungmin covered in hickies made by him. “And you get off on being praised, puppy. Isn’t that right?” Instead of letting him reply, Changbin nudged him that tiny bit more until the back of his legs bump into the bed, gently pushing him to lie down. “Anyways, lie down against the pillows, c’mon.”
Seungmin listens eagerly, scrambling to stretch out over the bed, wriggling until his head is on the pillows. When Changbin rests a hand on the ankle of his jeans and tugs, he’s instantly fumbling to push them down his hips and legs, lifting his hips so that Changbin can tug them the rest of the way off.
“Final call, Minnie.” With his hands finally able to run over the caramel-warm stretch of Seungmin’s legs, Changbin couldn’t possibly imagine wanting to pull away now; But even as he crawls up between his legs, massaging the muscles of Seungmin’s thigh, he still watches his ever micro-expression- catalogues the way his breath catches when they make eye contact. “Still want me to fuck you? I’m happy to, like, use my mouth if you’ve changed your mind.”
“Ugh.. As hot as that sounds-“ Seungmin’s rolling his eyes again, but there’s a sweet little smirk pulling at his lips. Changbin’s face feels warm. “I might actually get mad if you don’t get your fingers in me soon. Okay?” And he mustn’t have reacted fast enough, because Seungmin pouts and hooks his ankles behind Changbin’s thighs, pulling him closer. “C’mon, please? Do you need me to beg or something?”
He goes to open his mouth, make some dumb comment about how he wouldn’t complain if Seungmin wanted to beg, but Seungmin beats him to it. “Hyung~ Don’t you want to fuck me?” Emboldened and sin itself incarnate, Seungmin flutters his lashes, blinking up at him like Changbin is denying him the only thing he’s ever wanted. “Haven’t I been good, Hyung? Thought about it so much- how good you’d feel inside me,” There’s a flash of teeth, a sneaky smile, before it’s schooled back into innocence as Seungmin rolls his neck back, flexing his stomach.
Changbin huffs, squeezing Seungmin’s hip tight. “No one would believe me, that you have such a dirty mouth.” Speaking of his mouth, he ducks down, pressing his lips firmly to Seungmin’s so he can kiss that innocent look away. “Dirty-minded, too. You've been thinking about my fingers, puppy?
“Maybe. I deserve a reward, don’t I?” And so easily, just like every time Seungmin plays up his sadness so Chan will buy him something or Felix will play into his antics- Seungmin’s eyes grow wide and wet, eyebrows furrowing. It’s not the shy, uncertain begging that Changbin was sure he’d have to coax out of him; this was calculated tears, a wobbling bottom lip crafted to be Changbin’s downfall.
It’s only fair, really, that he takes Seungmin down a peg or two in turn. He’s gentle as he lets the fingers splayed over his hip crawl down until they can creep under where his boxers sit loose on his thighs. The other hand fumbles slightly as he blindly feels in the drawer for the lube he has stashed there. “Sucking me off was your reward, baby. You’re the one who was drooling all over yourself, asking for it, like you were some cock drunk slut.”
He feels a little mean saying it like that, especially when Seungmin gasps, but the way his legs try to close- stopped by Changbin between them- speaks volumes. “Fuck, don’t- don’t say it like.. that-“ But even as he disagrees, with as high as his hand is sitting- even without looking, he could feel the way Seungmin’s cock twitched in response. “‘M not-“
As his fingers finally close around the lube, he pulls back to toss it onto the pillow. It may feel foreign and strange, but if his Minnie likes it… “You aren’t? You look like a whore, baby, spreading yourself out and asking me to fuck you."
"A-Ah- You’re so mean-“ It’s an accusation, but he sounds reverent.
“Am I? I think you like that I'm being mean.” This time there’s no precursory glance upwards as he withdraws his hand and brings them both to the waistband of Seungmin’s boxers, slipping under until he can pull them down teasingly slow.
Goosebumps chase the drags of fabric, a tantalising reaction that makes Changbin want to taste the skin there- so he does, ducking to bite at Seungmin’s thighs until his boxers are as low as they can be, drawing them down before he has to lean back. Seungmin is surprisingly helpful- probably because he’s so close to getting what he wants- tucking his knees up, kicking the offending fabric away.
Whilst he settles, Changbin picks that little bottle back up, spreading a generous amount over his right hand’s digits, nudging Seungmin’s legs apart with a dry knuckle. “Ready?”
He nods, so Changbin brings a slicked finger to his rim, circling and grinning when he gasps and writhes. “S-Shit, you couldn’t have warmed it up?’ He’s already bearing his hips down, though, trying to force the digit past that ring of muscle.
Instead of letting him do all the work, Changbin snatches a twitching leg, drawing it up until it’s thrown over his shoulder. Like this, he has better access, slowly pushing the tip of his finger in, then easing it back out.
Seungmin whines, and he comforts him with a gentle kiss to the inside of his thigh, going a step further and wrapping his teeth around supple muscle.
“C’mon, stop teasing, Changbin- Ah-!” He jolts when Changbin’s index finger slides in to the hilt, and it’s… well, it’s not easy, he’s not loose per se. But it was easier than he was expecting, easier than it should’ve been.
He raises an eyebrow, a thrill shooting through him when Seungmin flushes up to his hairline. “Shut up."
“Didn’t say anything, puppy."
“You have a stupid face on your… face."
Seungmin is so pretty like this, flushed pink from his collarbones to his hair, dick curbing prettily against his abdomen, twitching and leaking when Changbin draws back and thrusts the finger back in. It’s like he just opens around the intrusion, hot and wet as he drives deeper
“Not my fault you’re opening up around me like this. You really have been thinking about me fucking you, haven’t you, handsome?” It’s in jest mostly, because he wouldn’t dare assume that Seungmin ever fingers himself open to the thought of Changbin- but his cheeks seem to burn brighter at the accusation as he turns his face to the side, and Changbin can’t help but drive his finger in with renewed vigor. He might actually die if he doesn’t get inside Seungmin soon.
The leg not thrown over his shoulder is still kicking and twitching, so Changbin moves to straddle it. Like this, he has a nice leverage to keep those plush thighs from closing, taking the advantage to pull out and bully back in with two fingers. Honestly, Changbin could probably get off again to this sight alone. He’d been amused at how much Seungmin was into making him feel good, but maybe he wasn’t much better, chewing at the inside of his cheek as he watched him shiver, gooseflesh raising over the shining skin of his abdomen.
He knows he’s being weirdly quiet, not keeping up their weirdly normal banter throughout all this, but he’s too busy drinking in the sight and fighting back words that are.. Just too soft.
Because even if Seungmin is dripping all over himself, face scrunched sweetly in slow pleasure, he’s still Seungmin. He’s Changbin’s Seungmin, puppy-like in the way his eyelashes flutter as he sighs in contentment. He’s the same guy Changbin saw messy-cry over a movie earlier, the same guy he’s spent years slowly falling for. Seungmin is losing himself in the throes of passion, and all Changbin can think is I love you. I love you. I love you.
Whatever type of dynamic they’ve fallen into, Seungmin seems beyond happy with it, so it seems reasonable that he’s probably not going to be into whatever romantic talk Changbin has to give. That’s fine; he’s going to say it anyway, because it’s important, and has been on his mind for way too long now. He can get his mushy feelings out into very open and then go back to being whatever sort of dom Seungmin needs as he’s fucked into the mattress.
It’s easy to say at that moment anyway, whispering sweetly into his ear as he works Seungmin open on his fingers, talking him through the discomfort into bliss. He can get Seungmin back to panting and begging later.
“If only you could see yourself, love.” It’s Changbin’s turn to sound reverent as he leans down to his ear; gone is the firmness in his voice, the one that let him make commands and mean it; it’s disgustingly sweet instead. “So, so gorgeous. Knew you’d be pretty like this, ever since I met you, been thinking about this since I fell in love with you.”
Maybe it’s a stupid time to confess- but Seungmin already knew. They just hadn’t said the words, instead jumping straight to.. Well.
It’s contrary to Changbin’s assumption, though, the way Seungmin doesn’t huff or snark back at the doting, instead crying out as he bears down on the fingers inside him, desperately trying to fuck himself back onto them. “Fuck, fuck,” The hands he’d had clenched in the sheets shoots up so he can throw his arms around Changbin’s neck, dragging him down into an embrace.
The angle makes it a bit awkward for Changbin to keep fingering him, so he adjusts, twisting his arm just so- and Seungmin’s entire body locks up as he sobs into the space right by his ear. “Shit, again, please baby, please,” Seungmin is trembling in his arms, and Changbin doesn’t believe it’s just from him hitting the right spot.
Not that he can really make sense of anything. Not when he has baby ringing in his ears. He’d been called many things so far; Hyung, Bin, Binnie, Changbin, all beautiful falling from Seungmin’s pretty lips, but something about baby strikes a cord within him, and has the breath hitching in his chest. He’s helpless to do anything but give in, driving his fingers faster and harder into that magical spot, pulling out only for a second so he can slide a third in, relishing in the way Seungmin moans and rolls his hips back down.
“Hyung, baby, please, keep-” Seungmin’s hiccups around the whine that rips out of his throat, tucking his head into Changbin’s chest like there’s no place he’d rather be. “-keep talking, I-”
Changbin turns to press a kiss into his hair. The hand not currently working at Seungmin’s prostate shifts so that instead of leaning on it next to him, it loops under his back, pulling him that much closer. Like this, they’re practically entwined, with Changbin holding him close by the waist, Seungmin's arms around his neck keeping their faces close. With all these miles of skin-on-skin contact, it’s intimate, and almost makes him want to cry a little.
“Of course, jagiya,” It was more of a test than anything, but it works, Seungmin shuddering as his body goes limp in the embrace, just barely holding himself up to hold his face to Changbin’s. “My pretty boy, the love of my life, you’re coming apart so, so nicely on my fingers. Can’t wait to finally be inside you. Do you want that, lovely? Want me to hold you close as I fuck you open on my cock?”
Changbin isn’t usually fond of dirty talk- finds it awkward, thinks the words are empty most of the time- but like this, the words spill forth like he is a man possessed, ready to lay his every thought bare if it’s what Seungmin wants to hear. And it is, by the sounds of it; Seungmin isn’t just whining and moaning about the stimulation now, he’s practically wailing, tears rising in his eyes in response to the words.
“Mmhf, yes! Please- I’m ready, baby, please, hyung, I need you-“
Any time Changbin had needed to recover has long since passed, leaving him achingly hard again where he rests, straddling (and occasionally rutting against) Seungmin’s thigh to keep his legs nice and open whilst he has his fingers in him. Breathing shakily, he pulls his fingers out now, coming to grip Seungmin’s thigh. When he looks to the lube discarded on the sheets, and then the bedside cabinet he’d retrieved it from, he groans in defeat.
Because how could he overlook something so obvious-
“I don’t have any condoms, gorgeous. I know I said I would fuck you, but-“ The guilt really does eat at him; Changbin had been making all these promises, riling his puppy up, only to not be able to deliver in the name of comfort and safety.
Seungmin, though, seems less concerned with these things as he pants out, “Jesus Binnie, I don’t care, we both had to do those routine h..health checks-“ His face crumples in embarrassment and need as he shoves the side of his face into Changbin’s. “I don’t, fuck- Baby, I’d prefer it this way, need to feel you, want… want to feel you fill me up-“
To stop from groaning again, Changbin takes the lobe of Seungmin’s ear between his teeth, tugging before kissing the sensitive skin under and around his ear. “Oh my god.. yeah, yeah okay, we can do that. You want Hyung to fill you up, gorgeous?”
It would be a lie to say he didn’t find the idea hot, too. The idea of being that close to the love of his life, entirely entwined and vulnerable, almost seems unreal.
He’d originally planned to roll Seungmin onto his hands and knees, take him like that, maybe sneak a hand up his front until he could pull Seungmin into his chest by the throat. Now, the idea of pulling away from this embrace they’d found themselves in sounds awful, like it would rip Changbin’s very soul out of his body.
So he reaches over Seungmin, even if it’d be more convenient to use the arm currently holding him close, fingers just barely reaching the lube and bringing it into their bubble of warmth.
Gathering a generous amount in his palm, Changbin pulls back the small amount needed to get a hand around his cock, hissing at the cold lube as he makes sure he’s thoroughly coated.
The small amount of distance is apparently too much for Seungmin, because he whines and uses his arms around Changbin’s neck to tug, bringing their heads closer again. “Hyung, kiss me already, cmon-“
“Needy,” He mutters as if he’s at all going to scold Seungmin, either way leaning in to suck his bottom lip between his teeth, chewing and tugging until he receives a gentle whine and Seungmin tilts his head, pressing their mouths together. Changbin would tease him for his single-minded focus if it weren’t for the perfect opportunity it gave him; When Seungmin’s lips part against his in a gasp for air, he shuffles to sit between his parted thighs, using the hand around him to press the head of his cock against his pliant hole, smiling when Seungmin writhes at the sensation.
He wriggles as he attempts, desperately, to bear his hips down, whining when the head just barely pops past the stretched ring of muscle. Fighting off a hiss, Changbin presses a kiss to his sweat-slick forehead. “Slow down, puppy. Hyung’s gonna give you what you need, don’t worry.” The enthusiasm is hot, but he’d rather Seungmin didn’t hurt himself.
“I know, i know baby-“ If it weren’t for the way he whimpers around the words, it would almost sound like he was the one comforting Changbin, pressing open-mouthed kisses to his throat as he finally pushes all the way in. The moan Seungmin lets out vibrates deliciously through his collarbone.
To Changbin, it feels like coming home. Seungmin is like a vice around his cock, hot and all-encompassing. His legs twitch where they’re stretched around Changbin’s hips, giving them both a mere few seconds to adjust before he’s locking his ankles together behind Changbin’s waist. The movement brings them that much closer; he’s forced to lean back over Seungmin, hips kicking forwards and punching a moan out of both of them.
“Fuck, Min, you just can’t help yourself, ah- Can you?” He fights to sound even remotely teasing, grasping for the threads of dominance he had earlier, but he sounds reverent as he uses the arm around Seungmin’s waist to hold him still so that he can slowly pull his hips back and roll back in.
They fit together perfectly like this, Seungmin’s stomach tensing under him as hips meet ass in an increasingly steady rhythm, breath mingling as they pant into each other's mouths, too entranced by the drag of Changbin’s cock to bother actually pressing their lips together. Fucked-out, quiet ‘ah’s escape Seungmin with every thrust, a delirious laugh crackling from his ribs.
“A-Ah, ruining me for anyone else- shit, is t-that what you’re trying to-” His hips kick, meeting Changbin’s hips in the middle before he can continue the slow pace. It escalates the slow grind into a real rhythm, and Changbin can feel sweat building in the dip of his back. “Yes, oh my god, fuck- Trying to ruin me for anyone else, Hyung?”
He huffs a laugh too, leaning down to press kisses so biting into Seungmin’s neck that he feels the way he shudders. “You know it, gorgeous.” He’s probably not going to last long if Seungmin continues to roll his hips down like that, laughing so cutely whilst he’s stuffed full with his cock. Just to be mean, Changbin lets his free hand wander, first pinching at the softness of his thigh before smoothing over his abdomen, slowly pushing down until- if he really focuses- he can feel the movement of his cock deep inside Seungmin. “You’re my puppy. That’s what your pretty little collar means, yeah?”
“Fuck!” Seungmin jerks as if he’s not sure if he should fuck his hips down into that delicious stretch or push harder into that pressure on his stomach, Changbin’s hand only a few inches away from his neglected cock.
A hand falls from his shoulders to where Changbin’s hand is sat on his navel, sliding down his shining skin (shaking, unsteady, but still so sensually) until their fingers are overlapping, intertwining. It’s a cute gesture until Seungmin uses it to draw their hands a few inches lower, barely brushing the head of his cock before Changbin is forcing them still.
“Ach.. what happened to words, Puppy?” Instead of indulging him, Changbin brings their intertwined hands up until he can pin Seungmin’s wrist to the bed next to his head, tightening his grip just to feel the way he half-heartedly attempts to wriggle out. The lack of real attempt gives him an idea, and Changbin grins. “Mm, listen to me, gorgeous- Do you reckon you can cum like this, without me touching you?” Seungmin is looking up at him with these big, doe-like brown eyes brimming with tears as he pouts, as if he isn’t shaking like a leaf under Changbin and whining to be fucked. “Do you want to try for me, gorgeous? Show me what a good boy you are?”
It’s the right combination of words; Seungmin’s eyes flutter shut, the movement sending a stray tear rolling down the side of his face as he nods, biting his lip to hide the way he whines. Changbin darts down to kiss the salty streak the tear leaves behind.
“I–If you—” Seungmin whimpers out when he pulls back, fingers twitching against the bedsheets. “-Maybe if you—” He tries to lift his wrist, and Changbin lets go immediately at the slightest hint of resistance, but Seungmin immediately catches his wrist in turn. Before he can inquire or slow their thrusts to a stop, his hand is brought clumsily back to Seungmin’s stomach, dragged up, up past smooth muscle and over the darkening hickies he’d left, up until the loose spread of his fingers rests at the base of Seungmin’s throat.
Wide eyes blink open up at him as he swallows against Changbin’s hand. “Hyung, if you-”
He doesn’t let him finish.
Changbin just lets his hand tighten, fingers slipping under Seungmin’s collar as he squeezes the sides of his throat and pushes the front just hard enough to make him gag, desperately trying to ignore the way the simple request for something he wanted causes a throb in Changbin’s heart. And his dick.
Seungmin groans deep in relief when that grip tightens, mouth dropping open to pant shallowly against the pressure. As fast as he relaxes, he works himself up all over again, rolling his hips harder and harder. “Fuck, fuck, fuck— Baby, faster please, I’m- ah!- ‘M so close-“
As he always does, Changbin delivers without thinking, bearing more weight onto the arm beneath Seungmin as he changes up their pace; instead of rocking their hips together steadily, he draws back slowly, letting Seungmin whine and whimper before snapping back harshly. He tilts his hips just so, just like with his fingers earlier, until-
“Oh-—“ Seungmin’s jaw snaps shut, but not before a loud whimper escapes past his teeth. Even if he doesn’t say it, Changbin can tell he’s nearly there, so he tightens his grip until his mouth is forced to fall open again.
Seungmin comes with a gasp of Hyung, hips stuttering but never stalling as he finishes over his own stomach, a fine gossamer-white spreading over his navel. Changbin, the good hyung he is, fucks him gently through the high and releases his throat, instead rubbing his thumb gently over where he’d been squeezing.
When Seungmin’s breathing finally returns to normal, he slows to a stop, leaning forward to press fleeting kisses over his face. Two to his eyes, gently kissing at each corner where tears are still shining, one to the tip of his nose, two to the corners of his lips, the bone of his cheeks, until Seungmin sighs against his throat when Changbin leans up to kiss his forehead and tugs him back down, slotting their lips together.
Basking in his afterglow, they make out slowly, the hand underneath his back pulling out just enough to rub at Seungmin’s lower back. It’s slow enough that he really gets the chance to appreciate Seungmin’s tongue sliding against his own, slightly clumsy, like his brain is foggy from the orgasm. When he seperates their lips so he can speak, he doesn’t go far, whispering against his shining lips.
“Hey.. ‘s’it hurt at all?” Changbin will pull out and deal with himself in a minute, when Seungmin is done trembling slightly.
He clearly has different ideas though, because before the tremor even begins to wane Seungmin shifts his hips tentatively, shuddering before doing it again with more vigor, shifting back and forth a few inches so he can just about fuck himself on Changbin’s cock.
The hand next to Seungmin’s head jolts down to grip his hip, somewhere between trying to slow him down and encouraging the motion. He’s so much tighter now that he’s come, body constricting and tensing through the aftershocks; Changbin tried to ignore how good it felt, but now that he’s moving- the tight drag is impossible to ignore. “Seung- puppy- god-”
“N-Not- Nghh, not- not my name, baby-” The sarcasm is definitely always appreciated, but its wholly innaffective when Seungmin is whimpering halfway through and still trying to fuck himself into overstimulation like a fucked-stupid slut.
“Oh, but puppy is?” Changbin can’t help but snipe back, before coming back to himself and realising he shouldn’t be encouraging the movements. “Minnie, you just came, I can wait, at least give yourself a few-”
“No! No this- Hyung, please, I think- this feels good,” He breathes the word out like it’s a secret, a confession that only they should hear. Changbin discovers, in that moment, how exhilarating- and dangerous- it is to watch someone find out something new about themselves; he can see the exact moment Seungmin’s slight discomfort bleeds into an electric pleasure, oversensitivity sending ripples of stimulation down his spine. Once he’s sure this feels good, Seungmin doesn’t stop, letting go of Changbin entirely to brace against the bed and fuck his hips down.
“Hyung- Hyung, please-“
When Seungmin wants to take, Changbin will give, so he does. Like this, Seungmin can’t get any real leverage to roll down, so Changbin takes his hips into his grip, forcing them down in a steady rhythm.
It has Seungmin all but melting into the mattress, shuddering all the while as desperate moans spill from his lips.
“Yeah? Is this what you needed, puppy? Just needed me to fuck you stupid?” If Seungmin had any mind to protest, he wasn’t able to; instead, the arms underneath him gave out, his hands twitching uselessly against the sheets. Changbin slows down again, just enough to make Seungmin pay attention, and smiles sweetly. “Go on, puppy. You were so good for me.” Sufficiently fucked out, he doesn’t even hide the shiver the words send through him, nodding eagerly. He’s even drooling like a dog, Changbin thinks crudely to himself. “You deserve a reward; you can touch yourself, gorgeous.”
Seungmin practically sobs in relief as he jerkily brings a hand up, wrapping it around himself. He’s undoubtedly sensitive, barely a minute off his last orgasm, but he obeys without question and squeezes around his cock, the slide made easy by the mess of cum and precum he’s made.
It should be disgusting, but Changbin’s hips kick up at the sight, thrusting into Seungmin in the same moment he forces his hips down. “Good- ah, good boy- Made such a mess of yourself, haven’t you?” It’s amazing how much Seungmin has taught him about himself today.
He’d known he liked being in control, liked being able to praise someone and have them react so viscerally, but this was next level. The feeling of having Seungmin whining and shivering beneath him as he trusted Changbin to take him apart and make him whole again, crying real tears as Changbin choked him with the same sensual precision it took to hit his prostate with every thrust; it was exhilarating. It was a good thing he’d insisted Hyunjin leave- between the shared cacophony of their voices, the creak of his bedframe, and the steady clap of thighs meeting hips, there was no doubt it was echoing throughout the apartment.
If he had any more brain to spare, he’d probably run away with that thought; the sound of them fucking throughout the apartment twisted into a different sort of fantasy, one where Changbin can bend Seungmin over the dining table, eat him out as he clings onto the kitchen-counter for dear life, bring him to the edge with just his hands in the shower. Defiling the whole apartment.
No amount of fantasy can compare to reality, though.
Not when his reality features Seungmin blushing despite how fast his hand works over his own cock, making a plethora of slick sounds. Changbin can’t help but watch intently, catalouging just how he likes it; The loose flick of a wrist from the base to mid-way up before he tightens his hand into a fist just beneath the head of his cock, grinding it against his palm before sliding back down with the same force. His hand is practically coated in pre-cum, and if it wasn’t so dizzyingly arousing, Changbin would almost be impressed by just how wet Seungmin was getting. If he hadn’t been a curious queer teenager so many years ago, Changbin wouldn’t have even known guys could be so wet.
Watching Seungmin jerk himself off is a sight he never thought he’d have the pleasure of seeing, but it’s probably for the best he didn’t see it until now- the sight alone has his stomach tensing as he hurtles far faster towards coming than he had been mere seconds ago. He’s just about able to stave it off, prolonging the inevitable but letting himself snap his cock deeper into Seungmin for just a little longer.
As if finally recognising just how loud he was being, Seungmin raises his other and up to clasp over his mouth, eyes rolling slightly beneath fluttering eyelashes, but Changbin just can’t accept that. He uses the hand not on Seungmin’s hip, bringing it up to snatch his wrist and pin it to the pillow. He’s not blind to the way it makes him grin around a moan.
“I swear- ah, fuck, I swear you’re just- d-doing this to get me to pin you down- Can’t get enough, c-can you?” His legs are undeniably starting to get tired from how he’s kneeling, but Changbin wouldn’t dare change their position now; as hot as it would be to roll back and let Seungmin finish them both off by riding him, that can always be left for another time. This time, he promised to give Seungmin exactly what he needs, and that means there’s no place he’d rather be than here no matter how red his knees will be tomorrow.
For now, he leans down to press his head to Seungmin’s sternum, unable to help the way his hips pick up the pace the closer he gets to hurtling over the edge. “You’re doing so, so good, Seungmin- A-Ah, making me feel so fucking good, aren’t you? M-My jagiya~ I’m so close now, gorgeous,” It’s true- as much as he’d like to stay buried deep inside Seungmin forever, he can feel his hips twitch with every drag of Seungmin’s walls over his cock, a tug deep inside his navel that’s just about ready to unravel, “Do you want me to pull out?”
“No!” The response is practically ripped out of Seungmin in a sob, his legs snapping back up to around Changbins hips to force him as deep as possible, his own hips rolling in a filthy grind. By the way Seungmin shivers and whimpers, Changbin’s cock is nestled right against his prostate, every sinful grind and bump sending pure electricity through his system. “D-Don’t, ohmygod, Changbin- Hyung,” Seungmin sobs around every word, consonants slurring together, tears streaming out of his half-closed eyes. He’s given up on stroking himself, hand pinned somewhere between their bodies, but his cock is rutted along Changbin’s stomach everytime one of them grinds closer. “B-Baby, please, don’ you dare pull out, inside- You have to-”
And really, who would Changbin be if he didn’t tease a little more? “Words, handsome, I- shit, c’mon- gotta know exactly what you want-”
“Come inside me, baby, please I-I- I need to feel you- Please, please Binnie, need it so bad, need you-”
It’s more than enough to send Changbin hurtling over the edge, hips stuttering once, twice, before he’s pushing in all the way and coming deep inside Seungmin, moaning as his own eyes flutter shut despite himself.
Before he can even begin to worry about making sure Seungmin finishes, there’s a distinct whimper of yes, finally as his cock twitches and spurts against Changbin’s midriff, adding to the mess inbetween their bodies. They collapse like that, Changbin still inside him as he slumps forwards, arms winding back under Seungmin and keeping him close.
Under a breathless pant, Seungmin snarks. “S-So.. baby, huh, Hyung?”
Changbin just huffs, bearing his weight down to pin him harder to the mattress. It’s not an effective reaction when all it does is make Seungmin sigh contentedly and relax. “Mm, puppy, huh, Minnie?” Pulls back just enough to rub at his hips, coaxing them into relaxing.
“Whatever.” They don’t bother moving just yet, Seungmin only barely craning his neck to press kisses to Changbin’s shoulder. “We should get a leash for next time.”
“Jesus christ, Seungmin.”
-
When the water of the shower finally heats up, Changbin maneuvers them until Seungmin is directly under the water, unable to fight the fond smile that creeps up on him when he sighs in relief. Underneath the fluorescent bathroom light, the damage is stark, especially outside of the glow of their orgasms.
Seungmin looks rough; His lips are swollen and chewed, eyes puffy and red. Changbin was right; he had been wearing eyeliner; it has survived the movie, but definitely not tears of pleasure, considering there was a little bit of black streaking down either side of Seungmin’s face.
His body is a whole other issue- he was covered in bites and hickies, all varying shades of purple and red. There’s only a few on his neck, fortunately, though they almost paint the silhouette of the collar now that it's been taken off. His chest is the real problem, practically painted in lovebites.
To avoid staring too much longer, Changbin busies himself with grabbing the washcloth slung over the shower caddy, directing Seungmin to angle his body mostly under the spray so that he could begin wiping at the mess on his stomach.
“How are you feeling?” The murmur of Changbin’s voice is only barely audible over the ambience of the shower, as gentle as the way he dabs at Seungmin’s soft cock, cleaning the worst of the mess and letting the running water do the rest. He doesn’t know if Seungmin’s ever done this before; he doesn’t necessarily want to call it subspace, but his mind clearly went somewhere else during that, and whilst Changbin wasn’t exactly familiar himself, he did know to be wary of a drop afterwards if that was the case.
They seem to be in the clear, though; Seungmin hums happily in response, for once content to let himself be pampered. “I feel.. Really good.” The words come out a little rough, but he’s smiling brightly when Changbin glances up. “That was really fun.”
It’s a little easier to laugh after that, knowing that Seungmin wasn’t about to crash. “You can say that again. I didn’t know you had any of that in you,” And then, a little incredulously, he adds; “I didn’t know I had any of that in me!”
Seungmin hums, entertained, and takes the washcloth from him, rinsing it out before dragging it over Changbin’s stomach in turn. “I didn’t know, but I had a feeling you did have it in you. I mean, I trusted that instinct by suggesting the collar, and now here we are.”
“Here we are,” He echoes, pressing a small kiss to Seungmin’s cheek. “Let me wash your hair?”
The picture of innocent eagerness, he nods vigorously, turning his back to Changbin, all but dropping the cloth on the shower floor. “I mean, if you’re offering~” It’s like all the tension leaves his body when Changbin eases hands into his hair, making sure it's thoroughly soaked, massaging his scalp a little just to be nice.
They sit in silence for a little while after that, leaving them in silence aside from the sound of running water and Seungmin’s satisfied little hums as shampoo is lathered into his hair. It’s only when it’s being rinsed out that he speaks again, a much gentler lilt to his voice.
“I.. really do like you, Changbin. I’m sorry I didn't tell you I wanted it to be a date.”
It sounds suspiciously like guilt, and Changbin can’t have that. Pausing his massaging of Seungmin’s shoulders, he instead presses light kisses across the span of his shoulder blades. “You just wanted to give me some control to plan it all. S’not your fault my plan didn’t account for me getting so anxious, yeah? So cheer up, you sound like you're about to give me the "it's not you, it’s me” speech.”
When Seungmin only huffs a quiet laugh, Changbin insists harder with it, kissing up his neck until he finally squirms and turns to meet his eyes. He looks calm, thankfully- his expression is just a little heavy, guarded. “Minnie? I love you.”
That instantly gets him to melt, eyes softening at the edges. “Oh..”
Changbin’s lips tick up, placing a new kiss on his cheekbone. “Mhm. I meant to say it earlier, but it kinda got lost between all the fucking. I wanted today to be a date, I just got too in my head wondering if I was making too many assumptions. Don’t tell the others, but you’re like, my favourite.”
“Mm, that’s sweet.” Seungmin’s grinning again, but it’s the grin that usually spells trouble for Changbin. “It’s a shame, though. Innie is my favourite.”
“Innie is everyone’s favourite,” He laments, but he’s split into a full smile too, resting his chin on Seungmin’s damp shoulder. “So I guess it can’t be helped.”
“Not yours though. I’m your favourite, you like me~”
“Starting to wonder why…”
“Oh!!” Before he can say anything else, Seungmin spins to face him, feet skidding on the wet floor.
Luckily, Changbin gets him steady. “Don’t do that! You’re going to get hurt, Min. Jes-“
“I love you too.”
This stupid, stupid, darling boy. “Don’t scare me like that, Puppy. You could have slipped!” Seungmin has the grace to look slightly guilty, but he’s got these great big puppy-dog eyes that Changbin can’t resist, and so he sighs fondly. “I love you, silly boy.”
“Hyung.. Is that really any way to talk to your boyfriend?” And now Seungmin is pouting for real, close enough for Changbin to see the small upward twitch of his lips.
“Boyfriend, hm?” He meets him in the middle with a grin, pressing their smiles together. “Knew you wanted to be mine.”
“Did you, baby? Sounded to me like you weren’t sure,” He's definitely only teasing, but then he’s pulling back and his expression is all serious. “Which is ridiculous, by the way. I know i-“ Seungmin sighs uncomfortably, and if he weren’t so curious where this was going, Changbin would be trying to kiss the distaste away. “I know I'm not… great at showing it.. But there’s no world where I don’t- don’t want you, okay?”
“Okay.” It’s.. almost difficult to reckon with. Not necessarily unbelievable- Changbin thinks he’s pretty likeable, knows he possesses qualities that appeal to Seungmin- but its really nice to hear. “Okay?”
“Okay.” Seungmin’s smiling gently again, a hand smoothing over Changbin’s collarbones. Any remaining tension seeps out of him, washing down the drain with the spray of the shower.
“Okay, okay. Turn around, we need to clean my cum out of your ass.”
“Careful,” Seungmin is grinning as he complies. “I might get hard again.”
“You’re a freak.”
-
Fortunately, nothing actually happens from there- they’re both far too tired for any of that, Seungmin just barely tolerates Changbin’s insistence on towelling their hair dry- making his annoyance known via whines of protest and a frankly unnecessary bite mark on Changbin’s forearm.
(“Forget a leash, you need to be muzzled,” Changbin had sighed as he gave up on the venture, throwing the towel mindlessly over the bathroom door and instead choosing to squish his boyfriend’s (boyfriend’s!!) cheeks, this time trying to annoy him. “You’d probably get off on that too, though.”
“Hmm.” Seungmin hardly argues, even if he really can’t with the grip he has on his face. “Not my fault you’re so biteable.”)
Eventually they made it back to the bed though, arms wrapped around each other as they tumbled into the sheets, giggling as they tried to avoid any of the mess they’d made. Changbin almost feels euphoric. Seeing Seungmin like this- laughing so giddily, limbs heavy from exhaustion and contentment- had always been an unachievable notion.
But as they settle against the wall, where the sheets are clean, Changbin can now actually wrap an arm around him, tug him right into his personal space, and dig his nose into Seungmin’s freshly-washed hair. He’s been given an intimacy he was never before privy to- and god, does it taste sweet.
“You know, Hyung… You say you didn’t want me to dress up, but you got new clothes, didn’t you?” Seungmin’s smile is coy as he shuffles just a bit further into Changbin’s side once they’re tucked into bed. The comforter definitely needed washing, now kicked into a pile on the floor, but he had plenty of blankets to keep them warm.
He laughs slightly in response, squeezing Seungmin into the embrace. “Yeah, Lix and Jisungie helped me pick something out. Just how well do you know my wardrobe?”
The smile widens, and Seungmin closes his eyes, the very picture of bliss. “Well considering that the hoodie I wore today is one I stole from your wardrobe years ago, and you never noticed.. Probably better than you know it?”
“Showing up to a date in my clothes.. aren’t you bold?” It’s delightful, the feeling of wanting to press a kiss to Seungmin’s hair and being able to. “Well, help yourself to my wardrobe. You’d look good wearing my stuff.”
He can practically sense the eyeroll he gets in response, and it makes him grin “You just say that because it lets you stake a claim on me. Jealous freak.”
“Yeah. You like it though.”
“Mm, I do.”
“Didn’t it make you uncomfortable earlier, though? At the bar?” He hates to bring down the mood, but it really had been weighing on him- the feeling of Seungmin’s heartbeat slamming against his palm, his stiff, frozen posture.
“Uncomfortable?” Seungmin pulls away from the embrace to stare down at him, eyes wide, blatantly ignoring the way Changbin twitches to drag him back down. “Changbin, I nearly jumped you in the middle of the bar. I kept you there because if you moved away I probably would have, like, pounced on you then and there. Why would I hold your hand to keep you still if I was uncomfortable?”
“I-I don’t know! What I did was weird. And I didn't even stop to consider you-“ The words spill out, but he’s not sure he believes them anymore; Seungmin wasn’t uncomfortable, he was- “Minnie, did.. did you like it?”
It’s his turn to avoid eye contact, eyes shifting somewhere to the right of Changbin. “I.. Maybe..? It was hot seeing you so.. protective. I didn’t expect it. I thought you’d just.. tell him to go away, or something. I liked that you got jealous about it, I guess..”
Changbin can hardly handle it; heart thumping out of his chest, he threw an arm around Seungmin, dragging him back into the embrace. “You’re too cute!! You’re perfect, Min.”
“Mm.. So you’ve told me.” His face is burning where it’s pressed into Changbin’s shoulder, but he doesn’t stop himself from winding back into the embrace, entwined like their bodies aren’t still warm from the steam of the shower.
Finally content, Changbin smiles, staring at that little collar where it’s discarded on the bedside cabinet.