Chapter Text
“Didn't your momma teach you not to lurk outside someone's bedroom door?”, I yelled. It was the middle of the night and I was cowering in shorts and a tank top behind my kitchen counter, clutching a knife. I looked down at this massive kitchen knife and suppressed a chuckle. I was so out of it when I was sleepy. I tossed it aside, I didn't need a knife. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. They either didn't know who I was or they underestimated what I could do, either way – they were in for some fun.
The door opened a crack.
I hover my hands above the floor. Another deep breath.
The shadows of my hands and fingers grew into long tentacles that crawled across the floor around me. My head swayed, I hadn't done this in quite a while.
The door was pushed open further. Still, no one had crossed the threshold.
My shadow tentacles made their way towards the door. Just a few inches shy of the door they started to build up, popping out of the floor silently. They wrapped around the door and with the twitch of one of my fingers, they ripped the door out of the frame and hurled it down the hallway. I heard several muffled voices and two big feet running in. I still had no idea who they were, what they wanted and how the fuck they found me. I pulled my shadows up around me, hiding me from anyone's view. He was slowly stalking the apartment. He was still the only presence inside beside me. My shadows followed him, grabbed his ankles and... gone. I heard a thud above me. The kitchen counter. FUCK. Whoever he was, he knew things about me and my powers, obviously. He was standing right above me, looking down. I could feel it. But I was terrified to look up. Never, never had anyone been this close. He knew where I was. “We're not here to hurt you.” Now this was a pleasant voice. Probably with a handsome face. Too bad that I had already planned to get every piece of information out of him, even if I had to make my shadows rip him apart limb from limb. I was breathing hard. “Please, let's just talk.” I looked up. That was my first mistake. Starring down at me was a man known so well, I bet he never had to introduce himself. “I'm Captain America.” Wow. I rolled my eyes and wanted to laugh but forced to refocus. I whispered to my shadows. They carried my voices to the other side of the counter. A little trick I learned when I was running away from mutant traffickers. “I know who you are, I want to know what you want.” Said my voice from the shadows. It sounded distant. I was out of practice. His head whipped around and he stared into the shadows, but he remained above me.
I sighed internally. I really didn't feel like killing Captain America but he probably wouldn't leave me with another option.
“We want you to help us.”
“Lies!” cried the voice from the shadows back. I was getting angry.
“Listen, I've been looking for you, for a very long time. And if I had planned on killing you, you'd be dead already. But I'm not. I need your help. My friend needs your help.”
“Why the back-up?”
“Because my friends don't trust you.”
“As they should. And you trust me?”
“Yes. I want to. “
“Moron.”
I still wasn't sure about this situation but I figured since he knew where I am there is no need of staying hidden.
In a swirl of shadows, I stood up and looked up at Captain America, who was still standing on my kitchen counter. He stared at me for at least a minute or two, not moving. Somewhere in the dark hallway, there was a cough. He shook his head and jumped down, landing on light feet next to me. With disappointment I realized, it made no difference, with my height I was tiny compared to him. He stuck his hand out for a handshake. I eyed it suspiciously and eventually shook it. “ 'Been a while since someone dared to touch me.” in my head it had sound much more bad ass and not so depressing. I scolded myself for this lame ass line. His touch was warm and firm. Weird. “What do you want?” I asked him. “Your help.” “With what?” I was getting annoyed. “My friend was brainwashed. I heard you know how to fix that.”
I hesitated to say no. It sounded interesting. And maybe I could get something out of this. “Alright. But why should I trust you?”
“Why shouldn't you?” “Last time I trusted someone from the gov they locked me up and used me as a lab rat.”
“I won't. WE won't. I will personally be responsible that no harm comes to you and when you're done you can leave. No questions, you'll never hear or see me again. Promise.”
“Why should I do it?”
“You'll get paid.”
“How much?”
“How much do you want?” said another voice from the shadows. “That's -”
“I know who that is.” I cut Captain America off. Iron Man, who else? “See, Cap? I'm so famous, people don't need to see me, to know it's me.”
“Yes, your obnoxious voice is very hard to eradicate from my memory. Believe me, I tried.”
Before he could answer Captain America said: “Can we at least turn on the light?” At the same moment, there were sirens coming closer. The cops, great. Another safe house ruined. “I gotta go.” I turned around but was pulled back by Captain America. He pulled me close, my face crashing into his chest. It was harder than I thought, though I didn't know when I ha ever thought about his chest. “Shh. We got this.” He picked me up and even though I was more than capable of getting away from him, I didn't. I was, first of all, too shocked and overwhelmed by his boldness and frankly by so much body contact. It had been years since someone had touched me on purpose and didn't try to hurt me. He smelled good. I cursed myself. I had been all emotional this week and had felt lonely in my forced isolation, but that a simple manly chest could get me so distracted that I didn't even realize how he carried me outside my apartment, the building and into a helicopter. “What? Where does that thing come from?” I yelled as he pushed me into a seat and handed me a headset. He just shot me a cocky grin and leaned back. “Welcome to the team.”, he said. “Keep dreaming, sunny boy.” I leaned back. Well, I guess I would at least take a look at this brainwashed friend. I had a hunch who it could be, and to be honest that was enough of a reason to risk my life.
I had heard stories about the Winter Soldier. Captain America, who wanted me to call him Steve, filled me in on the current situation. Bucky, as he kept referring to him, so much so that I even called him that myself, had his new arm ready but wouldn't leave his little apartment or let anyone see him apart from Steve. He was scared of a relapse. So, of course, Steve thought it was a brilliant idea to take me there.
I was a little nervous when Steve knocked on the door. It opened a crack and I could see a suspicious ocean blue eye peeking out. “Who's that?” He asked, eye never leaving mine. “Help. I told you about her, remember?” “Remember how I said no?” “Come on, Bucky.” I could sense his reluctance but he opened the door and we stepped in. I looked him right in the eyes as I walked past him, mainly because I would have been reduced to a drooling, panting mess if had allowed myself to take him in.
He motioned for us to sit, so I sat down on a lonely arm chair. The men sat on the couch opposite. For a few moments, no one said a thing. I looked at Steve and raised my brows. He looked from me to Bucky and understood. “I'll go?” He got up and looked at Bucky. There was uncertainty written all over their faces. It took a lot of strength not to laugh at them. “No, stay. I'm just being an ass.” I winked at him. Bucky smirked and there was a flash of sympathy in his eyes. “Gotcha'.” I thought. “I figure you're not thrilled about a stranger in your home. Trust me, I know the feeling. Just be happy I told him to knock. Apparently, he likes to lurk and break in much better.” I said with a sly smile. Steve was slowly turning bright red. It was adorable. Bucky chuckled softly and Steve relaxed. I found their dynamic intriguing to say the least. “Bucky, I'm sorry but we should probably do this in the bedroom. Alone. But Steve, you can wait here and... assist if needed.” Steve nodded. If the situation hadn't been so serious, I probably would have laughed out loud at how sexually loaded that comment must sound to someone not knowing what we were talking about.
“Wait. What do you want to do to me?”
“I'm going to help you get control of whatever HYDRA did to you. And hopefully, in theory, you won't be able to relapse, never again.”
He looked at me with those big blue eyes. I couldn't deny that my stomach flipped a little at that. He got up abruptly and I followed him to his bedroom.
It was just as clean and neat as the rest of his apartment. There was a king size bed with black linens.
“Alright. Just get comfortable on the bed.” He laid down on his back, hands behind his head, looking at me with an unreadable gaze. I tried to smile and remembered I shouldn't do that. It creeped people out. That's what happens when your life is so miserable that you literally never smile. I sat down next to him. “I'll tell you something about my powers and about the procedure and then you can decide whether to go through or not. Okay?” He nodded. “ I use shadow magic. If there is a shadow, I can talk to it, use its strength. I can also use them to project something in the mind of a person. All I need to do is tell you a story. Your body will be physically hypnotized but your mind will be wide awake. I can guide you to the deepest and darkest part of your subconscious and help you find the trigger.”
“The trigger?”
“Whatever they use to activate the Winter soldier. If you find it, it becomes conscious and you can choose to remember it and that takes away its power. A trigger only works if it's rooted in your subconscious mind.” I looked at him waiting for a sign he understood.
“Does it hurt?” He didn't look at me when he asked quietly. “Sometimes it does. But that depends on the trauma that clouds the trigger. How bad is it? Nightmares, panic attacks, PTSD?” Bucky just nodded. I sighed. “Then it will hurt. Bad. But I'm here. I promise I try to take away as much pain as possible. But You need to trust me. It won't work otherwise.”
I got up from the bed. “That's it for today.”, I smiled. He looked confused. It was cute, his hair was falling in his face and between those luscious strands peeked his eyes at me. “Like I said, you need to trust me. I'm a specialist in this. I would never try to access the mind of someone who had doubts about my intentions. That's dangerous. No, what we will do is this: I will stop by every day for a few hours or so and we'll do stuff. And when you think you are ready, you tell me. No one will be pressuring you. I told Steve this could take a very long time, depending on how willing you are to work with me.”
“Okay.”
“I'll let you think about it for a while. I'll see you Monday.” I left and gave Steve a small wave. He nodded. I left the apartment. Outside was a car that took me back to my guest room in the Stark Tower.