Work Text:
“Rodney?... Rodney!” John gently shook Rodney's shoulder. The scientist stared unfocused and dazed at his laptop screen, clearly oblivious to everything happening around him.
John turned Rodney's chair around, trying to get his attention. He waved a hand in front of Rodney's face, but—nothing. He frowned.
“Hey, you're giving me the heebie-jeebies.” He shook Rodney again, both hands on his shoulders.
This time, Rodney started to react. As if in slow motion, John could see the awareness returning to Rodney's eyes.
Rodney hissed, grabbing his head with his hands.
“Headache again?” John asked worriedly, but didn’t get an answer.
Rodney looked miserable. This had gone on for the better part of two weeks now. It had started with just a few more headaches than would be normal for Rodney’s caffeine addicted brain. They put it down to the stressful experience on the Asuran planet. None of them had been unaffected by the mind-probing procedure, and each of them had a different strategy to get through it. Teyla withdrew for even more meditation, Ronon simply ignored it with a stoic “Had worse,” and John himself tried to sleep through it, but okay, that didn't work very well either.
However dreadful the last weeks had been, all of them had made it through in one way or another. All of them but Rodney.
“John?” Rodney’s small voice tore John from his memories, fully focusing on his friend now.
“I’m here, buddy. Easy. You with me?”
“What happened?”
“You zoned out again. Radek called me. You’d been unresponsive all the time it took me to get down here. You truly had us worried this time. How’s your head?”
Rodney groaned. “I’m… It’s… it's … god, it’s...” He waved his hands around and hissed again, squeezing his eyes shut in pain.
John frowned. “You’ve got difficulties finding the words? Shit, Rodney, this time I won't cover for you. You’re coming with me to the infirmary.”
“But—”
“No. No buts, I’ve had enough. You're coming with me. Carson was very clear about it. If any of us experience abnormalities, we have to report to the infirmary, stat.”
“There's nothing abnormal about me and headaches. Don't be ridiculous. I'll lie down for a bit and I'll be back on my feet in no time. Help me up. I'm already feeling better.”
“No. I'm having none of this nonsense. Carson will have my head on a platter if I don't bring you in. So be a brave little boy and get it over with." John held out his hand for Rodney to grab.
"My intricate brain needs more recovery time than your one-track mind." Rodney snorted, but there was no real bite behind it. He just sounded tired. He took John's hand and let himself be hauled up, swaying slightly.
John wrapped his spare hand around Rodney’s upper arm and held him steady until Rodney seemed to be secure on his feet. "You good?"
"Yes, yes. Just peachy." He waved it off, but the persistent pain was clearly visible on his face.
John tapped his earpiece. "Carson? We've got a medical situation. I'm coming in with Rodney."
The answer came immediately. "Colonel, what's going on? Is it an emergency?" Carson sounded like he was already grabbing his kit, about to rush out.
"Nah, it's not. Just another bad headache. But you should take a look at him. It's gotten a lot worse.” John squeezed Rodney's arm to stop the obvious objections that were about to come. "We're on our way, Sheppard out."
He refocused on Rodney, whose eyes were still filled with pain, resignation written all over his face. "Come on. It's not like I'd throw you to the wolves. You know that things can't go on like this.”
"Okay." The smallness of Rodney's voice was the last straw, telling John he was doing the right thing. A docile, meek Rodney was just wrong.
******
“Hmm, I can't find anything seriously wrong, lad.” Carson cast a concerned look at Rodney, who was slumped and unusually quiet on the cot. That alone was worrying. “The metabolism in the temporal and parietal lobes was elevated in all of your team. What is striking, however, is that yours has not only failed to normalize but has even increased slightly compared to your last examination. In general, your activity levels are higher than the standard, but even for you, overstimulation is clearly evident.”
Rodney sat up a little. “No wonder, when my brain always has to work at full speed. I already told Sheppard; I just need to lie down for a bit. I could sleep if I didn't have to go along with all this nonsense.”
Carson didn't respond to Rodney's grumbling. He was rather reassured that some life seemed to have returned to Rodney. “So, how's the headache now? On a scale from one to ten? And don't lie to me. I can see straight through you anyway.”
Rodney hunched backwards again. “It's still quite bad... Six? Seven, maybe? But, listen, just give me some painkillers and let me go. I'm sure it's nothing out of the ordinary. It's going to be better as soon as I'm back in my quarters, where it's just me and my orthopedic mattress. It was the same all the times before, I told you so.”
Carson rolled his eyes. “One day, you and your lovely Colonel friend here will be the death of me, always wanting to ignore your symptoms and escape my clutches.” He glared briefly at John before turning his attention back to Rodney. “The painkillers I injected you with should significantly reduce the headaches. I'll give you some more pills, but you should wait at least four hours before taking them. I expect you to check in with me tonight and give me your status.”
He turned to John. “Someone should check on him and make sure he sticks to it. I meant what I said last time. He needs to drink a lot. Water, not coffee. And eat regularly. Light and nutritious. No power bars. And no more than two pills at a time, every four hours as needed, up to three doses only.”
John nodded, took the medicine box, and stowed it in his pocket. "You can count—"
“Then can I go now?” Rodney asked tonelessly, cutting John off, his gaze passing Carson again and settling on the wall. “I can take care of myself, you know. I'm fine.”
Carson sighed. “I can see that you're not yourself. When you don't complain, that's when I get particularly worried. Your blood pressure and heart rate are still a little elevated, too.” He stroked his chin. "I'll let you off the hook again. But only on the condition that you really take it easy. No work on electronic devices. Let your eyes and your brain rest. From now on, it's light duty and no off-world missions. And I want to check on you in 24 hours. Earlier, if something seems amiss. Until then, have your team keep an eye on you. Did I make myself clear?"
“Sure,” Rodney muttered under his breath.
“Rodney! Did. I. Make. Myself. Clear? It's that, or you're staying here under my observation.” Carson looked at him intently.
“Yes, yes. Twenty-four hours. I got it.”
"Okay, out with you then before I change my mind and tie you to one of my beds instead." Carson patted Rodney on the shoulder, exchanging a meaningful glance with John.
"No worries, doc. I'll set an alarm. Okay, let's go, Rodney. The infirmary needs room for the really sick," John teased, trying to hide his concern behind a light tone.
"No kidding. If it were up to me, we would have been gone long ago. The sooner I can put my feet up, the sooner I'll be back in the lab. You'll see," Rodney replied, but his words lacked their usual bite.
Carson watched them go, concern evident in his eyes as he took in Rodney's slumped shoulders and heavy step. “I hope you're right about this. I really do,” he mumbled.
******
When Rodney stepped out of the infirmary after his checkup the next day, John was already waiting for him, slouching as usual against the opposite wall.
“What did Carson say?”
“He said I should take it easy. As if that were ever possible in Pegasus.” Rodney sounded resigned and tired.
“Hey, buddy,” John bumped his shoulder. “Don't be so frustrated. You're asking too much of yourself. You really scared me yesterday. Let this be a warning shot. Everyone needs a break sometimes. Even you.”
“Break,” Rodney snorted, “Maybe I'll take one the next time there’s a life-or-death situation. I can't just ignore my work in the lab! I have simulations running. After all, you were the one who was so excited about optimizing the neural interface node today. And I'm so close.”
"Relax, it's not going anywhere. My super gene can still be laid at your feet tomorrow. Let it be."
Rodney ran his fingers through his hair. “Maybe you're right. But at least let me finish the calculation series and shut it down.”
They had arrived at the lab, and no one was there except Radek. He looked up from his work and frowned at them.
“Good morning, Rodney. What are you doing here? I thought Carson had declared you unfit for full duty.”
"Why is everyone insulting me today? I’m not made of glass. I'm still capable of doing everything twice as fast as everyone else. And that includes you, Radek. Let me—"
Radek threw his hands in the air. “Oh, Rodney, you're the only one offending anyone here. We're just worried about you. But you know what? I'll make some room. Colonel, think carefully about whether you want to stay at Rodney's side. He's burning all his bridges today, and that could put your stubborn hair at risk.”
Radek muttered to himself, scowling and flinging his arms in frustration, as he left the lab and rounded the corner to his private workspace.
John sighed. “What's wrong with you? You know how professional Radek is. He's just worried about you, like everyone else, by the way.”
“That's the whole problem,” Rodney snapped. “Everyone knows what's best for me. I'm sick of everyone saying, ‘Rodney, take your time... Rodney, let the others do the work... Rodney, you just need to rest, then everything will be fine.” He grabbed his head. “Damn it, just what I needed. Of course my headaches are back now.”
“Rodney, listen, you know I never—”
“No, John, please don't downplay it. My work is what makes me me. I'm always the one people can rely on. I'm the one you look to for the last-minute miracle. Who needs an engine that only runs at half power?” Rodney had started pacing back and forth, waves of agitation radiating from him.
"Okay, okay. I get it. I didn't mean to step on your toes or question your abilities. See, it's just for a short while. Something is obviously wrong, and we're just watching out for you as you'd do for any one of us." John grabbed Rodney's arm. "Please, can you just stop it? You're giving me a headache, too."
Rodney shook John’s hand off, but did come to a halt. He looked pale and sweaty, his posture tense, almost stiff. For a moment, no one said a word. Then Rodney loosened. "Sorry, the pain is really getting to me. It's been weeks now, and instead of getting better, it’s only gotten worse." He gestured towards the interface device set up in front of them. It was connected by various cables to both the gene-activated control unit and Rodney's laptop, and several lights were blinking at low intensity. “Let’s just do the one test phase that’s ready to go. Then I’ll shut it down for today and we can go do whatever team thing crossed your mind, okay?”
John held Rodney’s tired, defeated gaze, seeing all the exhaustion and pain—but also the hopeful spark of a scientist waiting for his pet project to come to fruition. He smiled fondly. “Who am I to withstand such pleading eyes?”
“Hello? I’m not pleading. I merely asked you to do one single experimental run. I meticulously planned for this all week. It’s important work. It was you who was all excited about the potential to enhance mental control and make the jumper’s operation more straightforward and immediate.” Rodney’s stance changed back to defiant and rigid in an instant.
“Hey, why don’t you ever realize when I’m yanking your chain?”
“I don't know, maybe because I've had to stand up against ridicule and rejection since elementary school?”
John’s smirk fell, and he put a soothing hand on Rodney’s shoulder.
“No, really. I didn’t want to upset you. I'm simply worried, that's all. I don't want you to work yourself into the ground.” He gave Rodney’s shoulder a short squeeze. “Let’s do it then. What do you want from me?”
Rodney's defensive stance immediately gave way to enthusiasm. Bouncing on his feet in excitement, he gestured toward the test setup.
“In principle, it works like a flight simulator, except that it can visualize the pilot’s mental input through the control interface. The monitor functions like a HUD interface and shows you the possible flight paths through an asteroid field. We'll first do a series of tests without the amplifier to establish a baseline for maneuverability. When the amplifier is switched on, the interface between the controls and your mental commands is maximized for optimal performance, and with your supergene, you should be able to make even finer flight movements. Just take hold of the two control levers and focus on the optimal route, as your eye tells you, and not on the predetermined evasive maneuvers. The controls should implement these directly without any loss of transmission.”
“Cool.” John grinned widely. “So it’s like Skyfox on the C64—weaving around everything before it hits you?”
“Ha, ha, how mature of you. But yes, if you need a less sophisticated explanation, it’s just ‘fly and dodge’ for you.”
“And I'd never say no to that!” John beamed enthusiastically, bouncing into position. “So, let the games begin!”
“It's not a game, Colonel,” Rodney grumbled, but smirked anyway, betraying his own excitement.
They entered the test chamber at the back of the main lab. Once he made sure that John was standing in the right place and had a perfect hold on the control interface, Rodney stepped aside, focusing on the energy levels values displayed on his laptop screen.
“Here we go without the amplifier. As I said, just for the baseline.”
Immediately, the interface launched, and a rapidly growing stream of asteroids hurtled towards them, filling the screen.
As expected, it wasn't much of a challenge for John at first, but, like a real video game from the ‘80s, he was bound to crash, as the scenario was designed to make him fail as quickly as possible. Nonetheless, John had a big smile on his face when the inevitable happened.
“That was fun! I always knew you scientists were just big kids, same as us pilots. Come on, now you. I bet you won't last as long,” John teased.
“Show-off!” Rodney shot back, but was looking affectionately at him. “Now get back to the device, the next round is starting in five… four… three… two… one… go!”
They completed the next runs without any problems until Rodney was satisfied with the results, holding out his laptop for John to see.
“Okay, we’ve established a solid baseline. The various bars show the efficiency of your maneuvering patterns. See here, here, and here. You continuously strengthened your mental connection and improved the reactivity of the tactile interface. From here on, there aren’t any more significant differences, so let’s go with the first-level amplification.”
“Shouldn't we take a break first? You look a little tense around the eyes. Has your headache gotten worse?” John asked, scrutinising Rodney.
“It's nothing,” Rodney waved it off tiredly. “It's not that bad yet, and stopping now would only set us back to square one. And anyway, I can see you’re practically drooling over progressing to the next level,” he teased, motioning for John to get back into position. “Let's just do one more set of tests with the first amplifier stage, then we’ll both be happy and can call it a day.”
“Sounds like a plan,” John agreed. He still looked worried, though his voice betrayed a hint of anticipation.
Rodney quickly adjusted the parameters that needed to be changed, increasing the energy to the required first level. “On my mark… Now!”
Rodney stared intently at the display, completely focused on the incoming comparative values. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead, and lines of pain appeared on his face. His hand trembled as he wiped the sweat from his brow, forcing himself to keep pace with the results.
“Things are… looking good, John. The response times have definitely… improved.”
“You bet they have. You can't imagine what a difference it makes. The interface is so much more responsive and immediate than before. It's incredible.” John couldn’t hide his enthusiasm. “It's as if it anticipates—Rodney?” John frowned, taking in the poor state Rodney was in, sweating and white as a sheet, suddenly swaying on his feet.
The very next moment, Rodney was lying on the floor, his eyes wide open and his body shaking uncontrollably. John immediately dropped to his side, protecting his head with one hand while activating his radio with the other. “Medical emergency in the lab. It's Rodney again. He's having a seizure!”
“Carson here. I'm on my way. Just keep his head as safe as you can until I get there, Colonel."
“Will do. And Carson… hurry!”
John tried to hold Rodney down. “Hang in there, buddy. Help is on the way. Do you hear me? Don’t you dare die on me. I’ll kick your ass, I’ll promise.”
“Colonel?” Radek's breathless voice crackled in his ear. “I heard. I’ll be right there.”
“Copy. Keep moving. I need help.”
John tried to cushion Rodney's body, keeping him from smashing his head into the ground. Much to his relief, Rodney's convulsions finally subsided, allowing him to carefully place him into the recovery position. Still, Rodney’s eyes were now tightly closed, and he was moaning in pain.
Radek burst into the room, breathing heavily. “What’s up with Rodney? What have you been working on? The sensors showed massive energy usage in this area. Was there an overload? Did he get an electric shock?”
“No. We were working on his jumper interface project when he suddenly collapsed. See for yourself, it’s still on.”
Radek crossed the room to the console, taking in the situation quickly. Muttering some Czech curses under his breath, he immediately started to check the circuits in an attempt to shut it down. He’d just picked up the laptop from the floor when Carson entered the room with two nurses and a gurney.
Carson rushed to Rodney’s side, gently trying to push John aside to get a better sight of Rodney. When John didn’t move, he softly squeezed his shoulder. “John, you did well. It's my turn now. Let me take over.”
John made room but looked stricken. “It’s all my fault. I shouldn't have let myself be talked into it. You said he should rest. But he was so happy, and it didn’t seem to be stressful. So I just went with it.”
“I did clear him, so that’s on me, actually,” Carson said tightly and leaned down to take Rodney’s vitals, quickly checking his pupils and reflexes. He shook his head.“Slightly hypertensive, but that’s nothing serious. What worries me most is how slowly he reacts to external stimuli.” He glanced at John. “And he’s still in quite a bit of pain. Let’s get him to the infirmary, where I can put him on a sedative and stronger painkillers and do more tests. Something is clearly wrong. And this time, I'm going to turn him completely inside out.”
They put Rodney on the gurney and wheeled him quickly out of the lab toward the nearest transporter. John watched them go, worry and reluctance written all over his face, before turning to Radek with a serious expression.
“Any clue if a technical problem could’ve caused this?”
“No. I shut down the experiment, but I couldn’t find any reason for the energy spike I told you about. It’s visible in the device recordings, but there’s no obvious reason, and everything’s back to baseline. However, until we know more, no one should work on the interface. That means you too, Colonel.”
John held his hands up defensively. “It didn’t give us a warning. Everything worked just fine. Rodney and I had a blast until…” He rubbed his face. “Shit, Radek. Something must have gone wrong. It just came out of the blue.”
Radek pushed his glasses up his nose. “I can’t see how it could have affected Rodney. But I'll dig into the database and let you know. Now, go after Rodney. I can see you're worried. And he’ll want you to have his back in the infirmary.”
“Thanks, Radek. I appreciate it. And I want to know everything. Even your guesses. Something stinks, and I won’t let up.” Already heading for the door, John added a quick, “Catch you later,” before spinning and sprinting after Rodney.
******
As John approached the infirmary, he heard a commotion from down the corridor. When he arrived, he was surprised to find Rodney awake and sitting upright on the examination table, arguing with Carson.
“Carson, I’m sure it must have looked serious, but you've known me long enough to know that I'm the first to worry about my health. And I'm telling you, I'm fine. It's not the first time I've… fainted.” Despite the confident words, fatigue, exhaustion, and even resignation were clearly audible.
"So, are you the doctor now?" Carson growled. “You think you can scare us all to death and then rise from the ashes like a phoenix and just walk away? Say what you like. I'm going to do a complete neural diagnosis. You won't get away with it as easily as yesterday. I don't want to lose a patient I just cleared for duty. Even if it was only for ‘light’ duty. I'll have you tied to the bed if I must. Tell me now, do I need to sedate you, or will you cooperate?”
Rodney glared at Carson, thin-lipped and tense, daring him to just let it go, but when Carson didn’t budge, he looked down and deflated.
“What do you want from me? You haven't been able to find anything so far, so why do you think today will be any different? It's just a headache. Admittedly, it's pretty bad and persistent, but what do you expect in the midst of all this disaster? The others didn't feel well after Asuras either, and you didn't make such a fuss.”
“Well, the others are back on their feet, which is more than can be said for you,” Carson shot back. “And they weren’t having seizures!”
“For the record, I'm just saying that it’s only been a few more days. You'll see that—”
“Rodney, be good and let the doctor examine you. It won't hurt. You'll even get a lollipop if you play nice,” John, now standing next to Carson, cut in with an appeasing grin.
“Fine,” Rodney snapped. “Then let's get it over with as quickly as possible. I don't have all day."
"Yes, you do! You're definitely off-duty for the time being. And no arguments. It’s non-negotiable!” Carson ended the discussion in his best “don’t mess with your doctor” voice, while fixing Rodney with a glare that brooked no contradiction.
Finally, without so much as a single word, Rodney lay down, his entire posture radiating resignation and helplessness.
Carson exhaled and gazed at him with empathy. “Okay, son. Here’s what we’re going to do. First, we run a full blood panel and an EEG. Then I’ll redo the MRI, but this time we're doing the whole thing. A functional MRI, an MRA, and a PET scan. We're working with maximum depth to simultaneously cover as much tissue as possible. I want to see your brain activity, your cerebral blood flow, and brain metabolism, all of it.”
Rodney didn’t dignify him with an answer, but turned his head, closing his eyes in defeat. Carson put his hand on Rodney’s arm.
“Rodney. I’m your friend. But I’m your doctor too. I’m not stopping until I get to the bottom of this. You’ll see. You’ll be right as rain in no time.”
“Just do it,” Rodney mumbled, still not looking at him.
For the next two hours, he was almost eerie and not like Rodney at all. He didn't utter a word. Not during the blood draw. Not during the application and removal of the electrodes for the brain wave measurement. Not during the preparation for the brain scans. He only hissed briefly when the contrast agent was administered.
The uncomfortable silence in the infirmary was nerve-wracking. There was nothing left to do but wait for Carson to evaluate the results and come back to discuss them. Carson had allowed John to stay by Rodney's side the entire time to keep an eye on him and to offer comfort if necessary. But whenever John tried to lighten the mood, Rodney’s mouth tightened, his eyes blank and lines of heavy pain clearly visible.
After what felt like an eternity, Carson finally came over and activated the monitor, bringing up the results. He took a deep breath. “Unfortunately, I have to say that we haven't reached the end of the line yet. Apart from the elevated cortisol level, which is to be expected with this kind of stress, all blood values are within the normal range. Only the electrolyte and glucose levels are low. This—”
“So it was his hypoglycemia after all?” John interrupted while Rodney actually looked a little relieved for the first time since he woke up on the hospital bed.
“No. The levels were indeed low, but not to an extent that would be cause for serious concern. This is more in line with what the scans have shown.”
“Spit it out already and don’t beat around the bush,” Rodney finally snapped.
Carson rolled his eyes. “All things considered, I still can’t tell what caused the sudden deterioration in the lab since—”
“Surprise, surprise,” Rodney muttered.
“Rodney. If you won’t hear Carson out, I swear I’ll gag you.”
“Pot, kettle, Colonel.”
“Bloody Mary, I’d be done already if you two would just shut up,” Carson blurted out. He paused and glared at them, daring them to speak even a single word. Then he picked up where he left off.
“What I was trying to say is that electrolyte and glucose levels confirm what all scans have consistently shown. As in the previous scan, all affected areas continue to show significantly increased activity.”
“Didn't you say that the brain activity was higher in all of us?” John pondered. “Maybe it's just taking longer for Rodney and his super brain.”
“Ha, ha… mock the dead man, Colonel.” Rodney snapped.
“No, Rodney, the Colonel isn't wrong here. The activity in your prefrontal and parietal cortex is significantly higher than in the average brain, so your starting point is higher from the outset. But it can't explain the lasting effects. However, it can be the cause of stronger reactions to external stimuli and a slower breakdown of messenger substances. Based on your experience with the Ascension machine, you learned to influence your brain activity and regulate it down, though. But keeping yourself hypervigilant and fixated on your scientific research isn't helping you in the least.”
“I did cut down on my workload, Carson. You know I did. You put me on light duty and rest, and we just wanted to finish this one trial run and then call it a day,” Rodney protested, but he sounded resigned.
“Yes, I did. And I take responsibility for that. I'll pull you from the duty roster. Effective immediately, you're off-duty and under medical orders to stay in your quarters and not just rest but actually get as much sleep as you can.”
Rodney didn't even flinch. He just looked down—a picture of despair.
John patted him on the back. “Hey, come on, buddy. Don't make such a face. I'll walk with you to your quarters. You really look as if you could use some sleep.”
Rodney grimaced but hopped off the cot, turning to Carson. “Thank you, I appreciate you searching for a cause again. Maybe really sleeping is all it needs.” He didn't sound in the least convinced, but stepped next to John, his shoulders slumped.
They walked side by side in silence. Rodney's step, usually bouncing, was heavy and slow. It still didn't take long to reach his quarters.
“You want me to come in for a while?” John asked.
“No, actually, I'd prefer being on my own. I just want to take Carson's pills and pull the covers over my head. It's been a horrible day, and I just want to leave everything behind. I'm happy with our results, though. It’s brought us a good way ahead.” For a moment, Rodney's eyes got back a glimmer of his usual excitement before turning empty again.
“It really was fun, until—” John faltered, “You really had me worried there. You're sure you want to be alone?”
“Yes, I am. I'm just exhausted now. I'm no longer up for anything. We'll see each other for breakfast. Thanks for walking with me.” Rodney stepped through the open-sliding door, leaving a worried-looking John behind in the corridor. After a moment’s hesitation, John shook his head and left for his own quarters.
******
The next morning, as John entered the mess hall, he saw Teyla and Ronon sitting at their usual table.
Teyla smiled warmly at him as he joined them. “Good morning.”
“Same,” Ronon said, looking up. “Where’s McKay?”
“I actually thought he might already be here. At least that’s what we agreed last night. Maybe he was here earlier?”
“I don’t think so. I’ve been here for a while and haven’t seen him,” Teyla objected.
John reached for his radio and opened a private channel. “McKay? Come in. We’re missing your friendly face to brighten our day down here.” He wiggled his eyebrows in Teyla and Ronon’s direction, but was only rewarded with static.
“McKay?” He frowned when he still didn't get a response. The tension at the table instantly rose.
“Rodney? Come in—or I’ll have to come and get you.”
John closed his radio. “Shit. He's not answering. That can't be good. I'll go look for him.”
“You want us to come with you?” Ronon asked, already rising from his chair.
“Nah, I don't wanna make a big fuss. He's probably just slept in and won’t be amused if we all appear at his bedside.”
“Please, let us know about Rodney. We're very worried too.”
“I’ll get back to you as soon as I’ve woken our sleepyhead from his slumber.” John had already turned to leave, looking tense despite his casual words. “Promise.”
John left the mess hall without looking left or right. He had a bad feeling, though maybe he was just overreacting. Still, it would be better to include Carson in his ‘search party’.
“Sheppard to Beckett, please come in.”
It was only a few seconds before his radio crackled.
“Beckett here. What’s up? Is something wrong with Rodney?”
“I can’t say yet, but he didn’t answer his radio. I’m on my way to his quarters, and I want you there with me—just in case.”
“Aye. Go ahead, I’ll meet you there.”
“Thanks. Sheppard out.”
John hurried through the corridors, taking the stairs two steps at a time, and soon came to a stop in front of Rodney’s door. Almost at the same time, Carson arrived, a bit out of breath.
“We should make ourselves noticed first. Maybe he’s still asleep,” Carson suggested.
John held his hand over the sensor, and they waited a moment, half expecting to hear Rodney complaining about the disturbance, but there was no response.
John pounded on the door. They didn’t have time for pleasantries.
“McKay, you’d better not be naked, because Beckett and I are coming in now!”
When there still wasn’t any reaction, John thought the door open, relieved that Atlantis let him override security codes this easily.
The door slid open, and both men rushed inside. There was no one to see in the bed or the main room. John knocked on the closed bathroom door. “Rodney? Are you in there?”
When there was no answer, he pounded more forcefully. “You’d better say something, or we’re coming in, and you’ll have to deal with us catching you with your pants down.
“Rodney, it's Carson. Is there a medical emergency?” Carson asked urgently, “We're coming in now!”
John nodded and made the door slide open. The bathroom was empty, showing nothing unusual.
They turned, inspecting the rest of Rodney's quarters more thoroughly. His bedsheets were rumpled, and the covers were thrown back, as if he'd just gotten out of bed. Rodney's laptop was on the table, open and humming, screen dark and obviously in energy-saving mode. John tapped on the keyboard and a login box appeared. Without hesitation, he entered the password, making Carson look at him in surprise.
“You have access to Rodney's computer?”
“Yeah, we exchanged our passwords in the first year for emergency purposes. We both still have parts with a secondary password for some really private stuff.”
“Ah, so can you see what Rodney was working on? Of course he didn't comply with my orders to keep his hands and eyes from tech. If we have to hunt him down, he'll get the lecture of his lifetime, and he's definitely in for a lengthy stay under my watchful eyes in the infirmary,” Carson muttered.
“First, we have to get a hold on him,” John said grimly and activated his radio. “Radek, this is Sheppard. Is Rodney with you in the labs?”
“No, Colonel, he's not here. I didn't see him after yesterday’s events. Wasn't he banned from work anyway?” Radek immediately answered.
“He was, but he's not in his quarters, so the lab was our first guess. If he should come in, report to me. Thanks, Radek.” He then opened the team channel. “Rodney, you’ve had your fun. Please copy… Teyla, Ronon, has Rodney joined you by now?”
“No, John, we haven’t left the table, but Rodney has not arrived yet. Shall we go looking for him in the labs?” Teyla’s voice conveyed her concern.
“No, he's not there,” John replied tensely. “I'll ask for a citywide now.” John switched the channel. “Chuck, can you put me on full audio?”
“Sure, go ahead, sir,” came the calm voice from the control room.
“Okay, thanks, Chuck... To all personnel—if anyone is with Dr. McKay at the moment, or knows his whereabouts, or has seen him at any time since yesterday evening, please report to me or the control room immediately. Sheppard out.”
“That's not good, John,” Carson said. “It didn’t seem as if Rodney wanted to ignore my orders. I can't see any reason why he has left his quarters and vanished into thin air.”
“Normally, I could give you a bunch of reasons why Rodney would do that to fiddle with any pet project, preferably in one of the farthest away, most unsecured areas of the city, but you should have seen him after we arrived here. He was devastated and tired to the bone. The Rodney McKay from yesterday evening wouldn't have gone anywhere. He really had me worried.” John ran his hand through his hair. “Not as worried as I am now, though.”
“Yeah, me too,” Carson replied. “He's a real trouble magnet, as are you, Colonel.”
“Hey, I never—”
“Chuck to Colonel Sheppard,” Chuck’s voice startled them out of their talk. “Sergeant Kumar reported seeing Dr. McKay this morning at around oh-five-hundred in Corridor Two heading to the transporter to Sublevel Three. He neither asked him about his authorization nor did he try to stop him, due to a memorable, unpleasant dispute about a similar matter a few months ago.”
“Dammit, I can imagine. But Sublevel Three? He's sure about that?”
“That's what he said, sir.”
“Okay, thank you, Chuck.” John turned to Carson. “Sublevel Three is an area that’s still not completely explored. I can't think of any reason why he would go there… and alone, too! I'll go after him with Ronon and Teyla. You wait in the infirmary. I'll bring him straight to you as soon as we find him, even if I have to drag him there by his hair.”
“No, I'm coming with you. You never know. He might be in a bad condition.”
“Okay, let's go,” John motioned Carson through the door. “We don’t have time to lose.”
They bolted out of the room and rushed to the transporter. Moments later, they stepped out on Sublevel Three, the long corridor ahead of them completely empty.
“You really think Rodney’s somewhere down here?” Carson wondered. “It doesn't look as if anyone would be here.”
“I'm not sure, but it's my best guess. I remember from the schematics Rodney showed us some time ago that there are unused labs some way down to the left. That's where we should start.”
The transporter doors opened behind them as Ronon and Teyla arrived. John signaled them to hurry. “I think he’s down here somewhere. This way—move.”
They fanned out, checking each room along the corridor, calling Rodney’s name as they went. Most of the rooms were dark and empty. No answer. No movement.
Then, almost at the end of the corridor, a door stood ajar. Light spilled across the floor. A faint sound came from behind the last door on the left. John drew his sidearm, but Ronon pushed ahead of him through the door. With his weapon raised, he cleared the room before nodding to John.
They all stepped inside to find Rodney standing there in the middle of the room. Consoles were scattered throughout the room, but none of them appeared to be active. Only the one next to him was dimly lit and humming quietly. Rodney's face was deathly pale in the flickering light, his eyes closed, his hands clenched into fists, hanging at his sides.
In just a few steps, Carson was beside him, immediately changing into doctor mode.
“Rodney, can you hear me? It's Carson. You're safe. Do you know where you are?” He touched Rodney’s arm very gently. “Can you open your eyes and look at me for a moment?”
Rodney must have heard him as he opened his eyes, trying to focus on his surroundings. “Carson?” he whispered, “What are you doing here?... Where's… where's John?”
John, who had stayed behind Carson, took a step forward, bringing himself more into Rodney's field of vision. “I'm here, buddy. Honestly, you look like shit—did you sleep at all?” he quipped, trying to lighten the mood and get through to Rodney.
And indeed, Rodney's eyes cleared, and he focused on John. “Sleep? What are you talking about? I just came from the... from the…” He went blank mid-sentence, his eyes almost bulging while struggling for the right words. He looked at John in distress, immediately starting to panic.
"Rodney?" John’s worry spiked
"I... I... John..." He closed his eyes again, lines of exhaustion and pain appearing in his face.
“It's okay, Rodney. Calm down. You come with me to the infirmary now, and we’ll take good care of you,” Carson interjected. “John will be with you all the time. You won't be alone. Colonel?” He looked at John for confirmation.
“Yes, of course, buddy. You won't get rid of me anytime soon. Let's get you back into the clutches of our favorite bloodsucker,” John said gently, with a twinkle in Carson’s direction as he grabbed Rodney by the arm.
Rodney nodded meekly, letting himself be guided, and John felt a knot build in his stomach. “You’ll see. You’ll be right as rain in no time,” he added, not sure whom he was trying to reassure more—Rodney or himself. He turned to the rest of his team. “Ronon, Teyla, you wait here. I’ll send Radek down to check out that console.”
“Yes, John. Of course,” Teyla said, her worried eyes on Rodney.
Rodney remained uncomfortably silent on their way to the infirmary, and once they had settled him into a bed, Carson motioned John into his office. A heavy, tense atmosphere filled the room.
“I want to be honest.” Carson started, his voice thick with emotion. “I'm a little at a loss as to Rodney's condition. I'll repeat the scans and increase the magnetic field strength to maximum capacity, but I'm not sure if that will get us anywhere. If I don't get any useful results, I'll have to recommend that he be examined on Earth.”
“Don’t put the cart before the horse,” John gritted. “Rodney wouldn’t want this. Ever.”
“We might not be able to take that into consideration, John. I’ll have to do what’s best for him, whether we like it or not.”
“Fine. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Just run your new scans, and we’ll go from there,” John snapped. “I’ll be with Rodney, in case you're looking for me.” He turned on his heels and left Carson behind. He knew his anger wasn't justified. Carson was doing everything in his power, but what if it wouldn't be enough?
John pushed the haunting thoughts behind, put on a casual grin, and sat in the familiar plastic chair next to Rodney's bed. “Hey, don't look so grumpy. You’ll be getting nice pictures of your valuable brain again, and then we’ll get Ronon and Teyla to bring us some delicacies from the mess.”
“If you say so,” Rodney replied flatly, not looking up.
John didn't feel like answering that, so they just waited in silence until Carson came to get Rodney for the scans.
“As I said before, we're redoing the scans one more time, starting with a medium magnetic field strength of 7 Tesla and then switching to the maximum field strength of eleven point seven. It's the most powerful setting existing. On Earth, it's only been in experimental use so far, but I'm willing to try. Desperate times call for desperate measures. A wavelength this short comes with a lesser penetration depth into the brain tissue, so we didn't use it before, but it delivers razor-sharp images,” Carson explained matter-of-factly, showing how John's words had affected him.
“Carson,” John sighed, “I'm sorry, I didn't—”
“I know, Colonel. I'm his friend too. Let's get this over with and hope for the best.” Carson waved him off.
He settled Rodney on the gurney, administered the contrast agent, and motioned John to come with him into the adjacent observation room.
Seeing the machine doing its examination was like deja vu. The big screen provided image after image in rapid succession, while Rodney just lay there, unmoving. It didn't take long, and once Carson had stopped the device, he went back to Rodney.
“I’ve finished the first sequence. My first impression is that the areas of increased activity have not decreased. There is clearly visible damage, though it remains localized. Synaptic activity is elevated, with lower-than-average levels in the surrounding areas. So far, it's nothing we didn't already know.”
Rodney didn't say anything. He only closed his eyes briefly and continued to stare blankly at the ceiling.
Carson bent over Rodney searching for any signs of distress in his features. “Are you still feeling comfortable? I'm about to switch the field strength now. If there's anything that's not feeling normal, you need to tell me before I start.”
Rodney still didn't look him in the eyes, but he muttered, “Just hit the button, even if I think it'll lead to nothing. I won't get any more ready than I am now.”
“Aye,” Carson sighed, “here we go.”
He changed the setting values quickly, and the only noticeable difference was that the humming that filled the room changed in frequency.
John stood at the observation windows, looking at Rodney's still form, asking himself for the umpteenth time how everything had turned so badly this fast.
The next round of images had just started to appear on the screen as Carson prepared to assess the new results, when in one second things went south.
Similar to what happened in the lab, Rodney’s whole body began to shake uncontrollably without a sound coming from him.
“Carson! Stop that damn device! Rodney’s having a seizure again!” John shouted.
“Bloody hell,” Carson cursed, immediately shutting off the scanner. In an instant, he was at Rodney's side, administering a sedative. As fast as the shaking started, it fortunately stopped too, and Rodney slumped down.
Carson let out a long breath and looked intently at John. “It almost appears as if it's related to the power output in his proximity. "
“I was just about to say the same thing. He was always fiddling with high-energy tech before it happened. We should be able to track that down.” John opened a channel. “Radek—have you found anything with that device yet? Because if not, we need you to look into the energy expenditure and consumption protocols ASAP. Radek? Did you hear me?”
"Yes, Colonel. I haven't detected anything so far. The console was powered up, but not actually doing anything. I don't think Rodney had begun to tinker with it - and I can't see any reason why he would even have wanted to. I'll get started on the logs right away. Are there any specific parameters you want me to check?"
“Look for similarities and anomalies in the monitoring logs. Anything that stands out. I want you to go through everything, starting with our return from Asuras, and report back to me.”
“Dobře, hned. I'll take care of it.”
“Radek,” Carson interjected urgently. “Look out for the radio-frequency spectrum, electromagnetic waves, as well as any magnetic or thermal energy and power-consumption spikes. We need exact timestamps—and we need them yesterday. It's important. It might have something to do with Rodney's breakdowns.”
“Okay, I understand. I'll get back to you soon.”
John closed the connection and slumped down on his chair, looking weary. “Do you think there will be brain damage? Temporary or even… permanent?”
“I really can't tell at the moment. What I was able to assess from the imaging was areas of minor infection and some micro lesions. Both can be associated with the memory loss and word-finding difficulties Rodney's experiencing right now. If it's progressing, it could be the cause of changes in gait or increasing clumsiness.”
“I didn't notice the latter.”
“That's right. Which leads me to believe that once we know and can eliminate the cause, his neurological deficits will prove to be only temporary and should right themselves.”
“Yeah, I hope so.”
Sooner than expected, the con activated and Radek's voice cut in, making John jump out of his chair.
“I transferred the results directly into the medical database—power values and profiles. There had been quite a lot of energy spikes throughout that time. See if it tells you what's wrong with Rodney. He really scared me. It will be good to get the grumpy man back.”
Carson immediately opened the file on his computer and skimmed the results. “Oh my God, do you see those amplitudes and energy profiles? Those readings match something I read not long ago about an Ancient experimental test series of the manipulation of brain structure.” He made room for John, then continued excitedly. “They researched pathological changes in brain tissue or cerebral blood vessels and the possible, targeted elimination of brain areas.”
“Targeted elimination?” John pressed through clenched teeth. “Why don’t I like that expression?”
“Aye, I don’t like the sound of it either. It was used primarily for the medical treatment of diseased tissue. But I remember there was a long passage about the possible military use as a weapon of war.”
“So you think that what’s happening with Rodney is deliberate?” John asked.
“I can’t say for sure, but it’s a possibility we shouldn’t rule out. Especially, as it all began after your return from Asuras. It definitely sounds like something the Asurans would do. And they have access to the whole database. You see the maximum values? Let me just—” Carson opened another file on the screen. “When I superimpose Rodney’s results on this, it damn well looks like every medical event can be connected with one of the energy spikes.”
John studied the measurements and frowned. “I see what you mean. It also appears that the amplitudes increased over time. Larger amplitudes mean more energy and a stronger impact on brain tissue. If this is in any way related to Rodney's condition… No wonder his headaches nearly killed him.”
“Aye. It would also explain why it occurred in episodes and why he couldn't remember anything afterwards, as well as the mood swings you’ve certainly seen, too.”
“Shit. I’m sure the damn replicator freaks wanted to see him dead. They probed all our brains and poked into our memories and thoughts. They must have seen a threat in him. Do you really think they could have taken advantage of the situation and fucked with his brain?”
“It seems like they do have the means. And the way this is going, he’s on a downward spiral, and if we can’t stop it, he’ll continue to deteriorate into nothingness.”
A cold tension coiled in John's gut. “This sounds like Rodney’s worst nightmare! You really think they left something in his head? Wouldn’t you have picked up on it already?
“Not necessarily. And yes, it’s a possibility. To achieve that, they would have had to implant a micro-emitter that reacts to activated energy in the vicinity and converts it into waves targeting specific areas of the brain. They must also have found a way to make it undetectable by our sensors and scanners.”
“Fuck! We have to track this down and get rid of it, or Rodney is as good as dead.”
“Not if I have a say,” Carson muttered. “Now that I know what to look for, I should be able to trace it. Thankfully, we have the high‑Tesla images. And I really hope we can find a way to deal with it other than having to risk high‑stakes surgery.”
“Does this mean we need to get him away from Atlantis? Take him to the mainland where there's no tech to set him off?”
"Actually, I need him here for the treatment. But yes, I'll have him taken to a containment chamber. That should sufficiently shield him."
“Okay. Sounds good. While you go over the scans again, I'll bring Radek up to speed. Maybe he can think of something geeky to see if there’s another way to render such an emitter inactive—or destroy it safely.”
After Carson retreated into his office, John returned to Rodney’s side, gazing at him as he lay sedated and—for once—peaceful on the gurney. “Hang in there, buddy,” he murmured. “You’ll be up and about in no time, giving us a piece of your mind.”
With a final look and a gentle squeeze of Rodney's arm, John quietly left the infirmary, heading off to find Radek and update Teyla and Ronon on his way to the lab.
******
“Yes, I’m sure it will work,” Radek looked intently at John, his face expressing confidence, even though his wild hair made him look like the picture of a mad scientist. “All we need is a localized EMP-like pulse. I’m talking about a highly localized, low-yield, neural-safe pulse that fries the emitter’s circuitry without spreading into surrounding brain tissue.”
“So you think it’s a nanite-based technology?” John asked.
“That’s what I found in the database. It’s not all there is to it, and it’s boiled down to the essentials for the sake of a better understanding, but you can take my word for it, Colonel. I’d never play with Rodney’s life. It’s safe. At least for now, as the localisation and size of the implant are precisely known. I’m ready to go as soon as I get word from the infirmary.”
John exhaled sharply. “Okay, I trust you as much as I would’ve trusted Rodney had it been the other way around.” He tapped his radio. “Carson, Radek says he’s ready when you are.”
“Aye, I am. I just moved Rodney into the radiation-proof chamber and prepared him for the procedure. We can start right away.”
Radek held the tablet-sized pulse generator as if it were made of porcelain. John still had a hard time believing that this tiny thing could really be the knight in shining armor ready to save Rodney’s life. But he’d meant it when he’d said he trusted Radek’s word, so he decided to stop worrying and focus on what came next.
In no time at all, they were on site together, and Radek immediately set about connecting the pulse generator. After what felt like only a few minutes, his face changed from tight and highly focused to more at ease.
“I'm done. It's connected and ready to be remotely activated,” Radek confirmed to Carson. “Now it's up to you to bring back our good old cranky Rodney,” he tried to joke, but his eyes betrayed his concern.
“Thanks, lad.” Carson drew a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “So, let's just do it, before I talk myself out of this again.”
John felt for him. He was extremely tense, too. God, they were messing around in Rodney's brain. When Carson had radioed him a short time ago, telling him he really had found a damn implant, John's gut had coiled, and he'd felt nauseous. This was the worst-case scenario. There had been signs that things had been going badly wrong for some time, and he felt as if he'd failed Rodney. He should have realized much earlier that something was amiss when Rodney had insisted so strongly that everything was fine.
Fucking Asurans. He still vividly remembered how violated he'd felt after that physically and emotionally painful experience on Asuras. They all had been plagued by distressing memories and images, which had triggered flashbacks and recurrent nightmares. “Intrusion Trauma” was the succinct diagnosis. Who'd have thought?
It had been immediately obvious that Rodney had it worse than the rest of the team. But, of course, they’d all attributed it to his tendency to exaggerate. “Cry wolf” and so on. John snorted.
“Colonel?” Carson snapped John out of his thoughts. “Do you have any objections? If so, now would be the right moment to voice them.”
John shook his head and sighed. “Nah, sorry. My mind was elsewhere. We don't have time to spare. Just do it!”
Carson nodded. “I'll start the scanner first. Radek, you only activate the generator on my mark. I want to see the effects of the pulse in real-time to tailor the treatment precisely to Rodney's needs. It's all about not too little and not too much. It's only for the blink of an eye. So the moment I say stop, you shut down the device. Okay—” The telltale noise of the device vibrations could be heard.
John felt his breath catch in his throat. He would rather pilot another nuke-laden puddlejumper into a hive ship than watch them risk boiling Rodney’s brain into a molten lump.
Carson watched intently as layer upon layer appeared on the screen. It didn't take long before he signaled Radek to switch on the EMP pulse. “Now!—and…Stop!”
Immediately, Radek reacted, cutting off the pulse in a split second, then blowing out his breath in relief. “Díky bohu. I hope I never have to do that again.”
“Me either,” Carson agreed wholeheartedly, “and based on the current life scans, you don't need to. I don't want to give the all-clear too soon, but at least I can no longer see anything standing out in any of the scans.
“So, it worked?” John almost couldn't believe it. “The implanted device is destroyed? Can you be sure that there's no permanent damage in adjacent areas?” John shuddered at the thought that Rodney might no longer be Rodney, but a shell of himself.
Carson looked into John’s eyes, his features softening. “I can't. I’m sorry. There are no guarantees in life, John. I'm sure whatever device the Asurans had implanted in Rodney is destroyed. I couldn't do anything about the existing damage, though. There're still some hard times lying ahead of him. He'll have trouble with short-term memories in any case, but I can't rule out that there are issues with long-term memories as well. Only time will tell. But we're here to help him.”
John nodded and ran his hand through his hair. “When will he wake up?”
“I'm not sure about that either. He's still sedated, and exhaustion takes its toll, too. I'll have him transferred to the isolation room. You might want to let Teyla and Ronon know first, but other than that, you'll have enough time to rest.”
“I'm going back to the lab,” Radek said, ”I have to finish up a few simulations I had interrupted earlier. But you will let me know about Rodney's condition, yes?”
“Yes, of course,” Carson said, making a shooing gesture. “Now you two go and let me take care of Rodney. I'll see you later.”
Radek took his leave while John stood there for a moment longer, looking on as Carson and a nurse busied themselves around Rodney. Then he straightened and left too.
******
He floated, the dark ocean stretching beneath him. Slowly, the fog began to lift, and light pierced the clouds. A slight breeze made him shiver. Slender spires emerged ahead, drawing closer and closer. Where was he? A heaviness seized him, dragging him downward.
He struggled against the suction but fell relentlessly toward the water. He screamed.
“Hey, Rodney. Calm down. You’re okay. Can you hear me? Everything’s alright. I’ve got you.”
That voice—familiar, grounding him. He wanted to reach out, wanted to feel safe.
“Carson? Carson! Rodney’s waking up!”
Waves of flashbacks assailed him. Disorientation. Panic. Pain.
“Slow down, lad. You made it through. Take your time. We're here with you.”
Another voice. A touch, firm but gentle. Then something pulled at his lids. Stabbing light. No! He tried to get away from it, wanting to escape the pain.
“It’s okay, Rodney. It’s me… John, try to hold him down. I’ll give him another sedative. It seems to be too much, too soon.”
A coldness spread through him. The light faded again. Darkness rose, pulling him under. He didn’t want to. He didn’t… He…
******
Rodney opened his eyes. Everything was blurry. He felt as if he’d been run over by a bus. A dull pain throbbed behind his eyes, unpleasant but bearable. Gradually, his surroundings came into focus.
He was in the infirmary. The lights were dim. Everything was quiet.
He turned his head and could make out John in the semi-darkness, slouched in an unnatural position on one of the ubiquitous plastic chairs. He winced sympathetically and turned his head the other way, where he found the rest of his team propped up, too.
Ronon had put two chairs together and somehow managed to fit in, also fast asleep and snoring.
Teyla had laid her head on Ronon's shoulder and was just opening her eyes. A warm smile immediately spread across her face, and she bent toward Rodney, reaching for his hand.
“Rodney, I am so glad to see you awake again. How are you feeling?”
Rodney looked at her, mesmerized by her gentle gaze and her genuine smile. The warmth that radiated from her completely drew him in.
When there was no response, Teyla squeezed Rodney's hand and raised her voice. “Rodney? Do you hear me?”
John sat up abruptly. “He's awake?” In an instant, he was at Rodney's side, grinning widely. “Hey, buddy. You had us a bit worried. Do you know where you are? Do you know what happened?”
“John, give Rodney a little time. He may need some patience,” Teyla said gently, “I’ll go and get Carson.”
Rodney looked after Teyla, then turned back again. “John,” he croaked, immediately breaking out in a coughing fit.
“Give him some ice,” Ronon cut in from the side, woken up by the sudden commotion.
John grabbed the cup with the ice chips. “Here. Don't worry. You were out for quite a while. It'll help.”
Rodney tried to take some from the offered cup, but his arm refused to obey him, feeling terribly heavy and weak.
“Put it in his mouth,” Ronon grumbled softly.
“You heard him. Open up.” John held out one ice chip and wiggled his eyebrows.
Rodney rolled his eyes. “I'm not a… baby… just—” He cleared his throat, “give it here… already.”
“Ahhh, Rodney,” Carson said as he appeared, “loving as ever.”
“Right? You don't bite the hand that's feeding you,” John teased.
“It's only… a state of aggregation of… water, you can hardly… call that food,” Rodney gave back, trying for his usual bite, but failing miserably as it came out like a squeak.
Carson and John looked at each other and laughed loudly. Ronon slapped John on the back, and Teyla gently placed a hand on Rodney’s right arm, as Rodney just looked truly confused.
“What?” he snapped, looking from one to the other. “Maybe someone would finally tell me why you're all standing around me staring as if I were the eighth wonder of the world?”
“You were out cold for days. Didn't feel right without you complaining,” Ronon deadpanned with a sparkle in his eyes.
“I would've phrased it differently, but Ronon’s right,” Carson said jovially. “You have been my guest for about a week now. I'll have to do a thorough examination, but at first sight I'd say, you seem quite like yourself.” He patted Rodney’s left shoulder.
“A whole week?” Rodney blurted out, his voice regaining some of his strength.
“Aye. How are you feeling, son? What’s the last you remember?” Carson slipped into professional mode.
“How am I supposed to feel—like I've been trampled by a horse? What's going on for Christ's sake?” Rodney snapped.
John, who had been grinning the whole time, became serious when Rodney started to look alarmed. “It's all good, buddy. No one wants to anger you. There was some shit happening to you that you might not remember at the moment. So, answer the question of our good old doctor. What's the last you remember?”
This didn't really calm Rodney down, but he refocused on Carson, frowning. What did he remember? He tried to get through the lingering fog that clouded his memories, coming up with a somewhat blurry image.
“We were on our way to Asuras, right?”
Carson narrowed his eyes in concern, while everyone else looked down, and an uncomfortable silence spread amongst them.
Eventually, Carson began to say something, but Rodney beat him to it.
“Wait, wait, did something happen there? Of course something did. Why can't I remember anything after that? Those fucking Asurans… Did they do something to me? Wipe my memory? Did they do something to my brain? Did they?” Rodney’s chest heaved rapidly.
“Rodney, you don't need to panic. You'll get an explanation as detailed as I'm able to, but you first have to calm down. Do you want me to administer something to help with that?”
“No, no, no, no, no. You not answering right away is all I need to know. I don't want you to mess with my brain any further. All I want is for you to spit out the truth.”
Carson exhaled. “Well, yes, something did happen. You were probed on Asuras—all of you. They—”
“They stuck a fucking hand in my head? God, I hate it. I hate them!” Rodney pressed down on his pillow. “But that can't be all there is, right? You’re all looking guilty as sin.”
John shuffled awkwardly, then he shrugged. "You'd better tell him, Doc."
"All right," Carson agreed. “It seems you're fit enough to hear about it. Just the basics, though, the technical stuff you can get out of Radek later.”
When Rodney opened his mouth, Carson raised his hand, stopping him.
“You got probed, like the rest of your team, but they must have seen the large threat you were for them and their technology, so they implanted you with a tiny device that infected your brain tissue, giving you severe headaches and disorientation. It developed to a serious level, making you experience seizures and would have ultimately killed you—it didn't, as you're aware,” Carson ended, seeing Rodney's increasing distress.
“So they put something in my brain and you're telling me not to freak out?” Rodney gasped.
John smirked. “This is what you get for bragging about how brilliant you are whenever we're off-world. You should have listened to me from day one, then maybe you wouldn't be seen as the ultimate threat to our enemies.”
"I never brag—I only ever state the facts!" Rodney objected.
“Yeah, I’m sure, buddy. But just hear Carson out, okay? We’ve got everything fixed up now. You're back to normal—and you’re even able to freak out, right?” John said, trying to lighten the mood.
“Ha, ha.” Rodney snapped but looked at Carson, seemingly less agitated.
“Yes, they did slip a tiny device into your brain. It took us a little time to get a handle on things and discover the implant, but with some details on the database and Radek's technical skills, we were able to destroy the device without damaging adjacent tissue. We were aware that there could be some short-term memory loss, and obviously, we were right. So, I’ll need to do some more testing now you’re awake, and check everything for any long-term effects, too. I'm sure, though, there's nothing irreversibly damaged that a bit of therapy can't fix.”
Rodney didn't answer but lay in his bed, looking defeated and small.
Teyla stepped forward, joining their foreheads together. “The Ancestors will be with you and let you blossom into your former strength. And so will we as your friends.”
“Yeah, we'll have your back,” Ronon added.
“It's good to have you back, buddy! The rest is child's play,” John reassured him, looking Rodney intently in the eyes.
Rodney looked around, taking in Carson and his team, seeing the sincerity and friendship that warmed his heart. He closed his eyes—he really felt exhausted, but blessed too.
With such friends at his side, and his own brilliance, of course, everything would work out. He just had to sleep a bit, and then he could order his minions around. After all, he was Head of the Science and Research Department, right?
He had friends. Yes. Maybe that was all it took.