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Logan was sitting on the couch, reading the newspaper and minding his own business. Which was usually the time that Wade saw fit to get on his last nerve.
As if on cue, the door to Wade's room slammed open, and Logan silently kissed his peaceful morning goodbye.
“Wake up, babe, this year's National Hugging Day is officially underway!” Wade exclaimed as he walked out of his bedroom, arms spread wide like the showy dick that he was. Mary Puppins was instantly at his side, barking up a storm until Wade picked her up and lifted her over his head as he twirled around the room. “Good morning, mistress melanoma! Many blessings upon thee, my cancerous queen.” Wade cradled her against his chest, letting her lick all over his face with her abomination of a tongue. Logan wrinkled his nose as Wade sighed happily. “Ah, what a time to be alive and loved.”
“Stop yelling first thing in the morning, you piece of shit,” Althea yelled as she came out of her room, and Wade spun on his heel, setting Mary down before he descended upon Al like an oversized Venus flytrap, snatching her up in his arms with what appeared to be no chance of escape.
“A lovely day to you too, my geriatric friend!” A short pause. “Why do you smell like – did you use my shampoo?”
“Of course not,” she scoffed, finally batting his arms away after a suspiciously long pause. Logan wouldn't have thought that she'd tolerate that kind of physical contact for longer than three seconds. “You don't even have hair, you bald bitch.”
“The way I keep my skull moist and tender is none of your business.” Wade rounded on Logan, flinging his arms out with a huge grin. “Alright, your turn, grumpy cat! Bring it in!”
“No fucking way.”
“Come on! It's in the spirit of the holiday!” Logan waited for Wade to come within arm's reach before he let the claws of his left hand spring free, embedding them right between Wade's radius and ulna. Wade yelped, taking two stumbling steps back and clutching his mutilated arm. “Fuck! Someone's spicy today.”
“No stabbing indoors!” Al shouted from the kitchen, and Logan quickly retracted the claws, wiping the blood off on his pants. “And don't even think about putting that shit in my laundry basket. You're washing it in the sink. I don't need my underwear smelling like blood again.”
“Had enough of that while you were still fertile, huh, ma?” Wade didn't even dodge the chopping block that Al tried to throw at him, but it still missed him by a good yard and thankfully bounced off the couch instead of hitting anything fragile. “Ow. You really got me, wow, definitely learned my lesson there.”
“Every day I pray that the devil drags your ass to hell where you belong,” Al muttered under her breath as she sat down at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee in front of her. Good thing that Logan had made the pot ahead of time, because Al tended to burn it whenever it was her turn.
“My ass is hot like hellfire, thank you for noticing,” Wade simpered, blowing a noisy kiss at Al. She flipped him off. “Joke's on you, in my family that's sign language for 'wow, your dick is huge'.”
“Your family's dead.”
“And you're the last unicorn of a dying generation, so who's winning?” This time, Al managed to nail Wade right in the forehead with the spatula she tossed his way. “Ow! Domestic abuse!”
“Anyone want eggs?” Logan asked, if only to stop Al from throwing anything else. Wade whirled around towards him, his hands clutched to his cheek like a simpering maiden.
“Aw, making breakfast? You're not beating the domestication allegations anytime soon, peanut!”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“Make me, shnookums.”
“I'll take mine over easy, thank you, sweetheart,” Al cut in with a smile aimed vaguely in Logan's direction. “Let Wade make the toast. It's the one thing he's good at.”
Logan looked at Wade with a raised eyebrow. Wade winked as he headed over to the toaster.
“Will do, ma. You know, 'over easy' is what they called me in high school.”
“Wish they'd gone with 'over quickly',” Logan muttered, and Wade gasped dramatically, pointing at him.
“The Wolverine made a joke, everyone! That means we'll get five more weeks of summer!”
Logan glared at him as he grabbed the eggs from the fridge. “Quit yapping or you won't get any breakfast.”
“You'd deny me the most important meal of the day? For shame, Wolvie, for shame.” Wade grinned. “Also, it's cute that you think I'll starve without your eggs. I have a secret stash of –“
“Bathroom snacks. Third tile down, under the sink.” Logan took a moment to revel in the shocked look Wade gave him before he raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure they're still in there?”
“No.” Wade shook his head slowly, inching backwards towards the bathroom door. “I swear, if you took my browny bites, I will rain hellfire upon y–“
Logan's X-Men communicator beeped. They both stared at it for a moment before Wade picked it up and accepted the call.
“You've reached the Casa de Poolverine, Wade Wilson speaking, how may I assist you?”
Logan could hear Piotr's muffled voice through the speakers as he turned away to crack the eggs into the pan. Even if they ended up not having the time to actually eat them, at least Althea wouldn't go hungry.
“Ohohoho!” Wade snapped his fingers, bouncing on his heels like a little kid. “You want us? No, don't tell me, it's because we're the hottest shit on the block right now, right? Deadpool and Wolverine, trademark pending.”
Logan raised an eyebrow. Wade flapped his arm around and shushed him, even though Logan hadn't said anything.
“Aw, I know you love me, chrome dome. Give me twenty to put Logan in his prettiest pageant dress, then we'll be right there, lickety-split! Actually, his hair's not done yet either, so – see you in an hour!” Wade hung up and stretched his arms out with a satisfied groan before he wandered off towards their room. “Chop chop, pumpkin, time to suit up! The eggs can wait.”
“You said an hour. We've got time.” Logan seasoned the eggs generously with salt and pepper before he grabbed the toast and slathered it in butter. “What's the mission?”
“Mission's a strong word.” Wade pivoted on his heel to walk into the living room, dropping down onto the couch with a grunt. “Apparently Chuck picked up some weird signal in the area and wants us to check it out.”
Logan sighed. So much for his relaxed morning. At least they weren't actively hunting down any mutated wombats this time. His pride still hadn't recovered from that humiliating experience.
“Alright. Come get your breakfast,” Logan said as he put Althea's plate in front of her, setting Wade's down to her left. Wade bounced over to the table with an exaggerated cooing noise, clutching his chest.
“Aw, thank you so much, pookie! I always knew you'd make a great trad wife!” He spread his arms and puckered his lips. “Come here, sweetheart, I still want that hu–“
A punch to the sternum made him deflate like a balloon, doubling over with a dramatic groan. Logan rolled his eyes. “Eat up. We're leaving in thirty.”
“Yes, Sir,” Wade wheezed, and Logan sat down next to him to get started on his own breakfast.
Althea was right. The toast was delicious.
For some reason, Wade decided to get boba on the way. It took a considerable amount of restraint for Logan not to stab him for the suggestion, but in the end, he couldn't fucking stand Wade's whining. And denying him any of his favorite sugary beverages was a surefire way of making Wade cranky for the rest of the day. Logan would rather die than deal with that if he could avoid it.
They were just walking out of the bubble tea shop when a scream pierced through the air. Logan pricked his ears, eyes narrowing at the sound of guns shooting at something or someone.
“Sounds like we're up, peanut,” Wade said, chugging his drink and almost instantly choking on one of the tapioca balls. Logan sighed, clapping Wade on the back until he hacked it back up, watching in disgust as Wade wiped his mouth and then just kept guzzling his tea. Once he was done, he crumpled up the plastic cup and belched loudly as he tossed it into a nearby trashcan. “Alright. Maximum effort.”
“Sound off?” Logan asked, and Wade tapped his earpiece – a recent upgrade, now that they were officially going on missions again. Feedback screeched in Logan's ear, making him wince. “Yeah, okay. Let's go.”
“Excuse you, it's pronounced 'let's fucking go'.” Wade tugged his mask back into place and drew his swords. “After you, shnookums.”
They ran towards the commotion, passing an entire flock of civilians who were running in the opposite direction. Thankfully the problem was very easy to spot.
“Howdy, cowboy!” Wade shouted, raising his hand at the man wearing a ski mask, who seemed to be guarding the entrance to the National Bank with a machine gun in his hands. “Where's your horse? You can't do a Western standoff without a horse! Oh, and a hat! Fuck, I'd kill for a hat right now.”
“What?” the guy said, which was a valid response to most of the things coming out of Wade's mouth but pretty weak as far as last words went. Unfortunately for him, Wade put a bullet through his brain before he could revise them.
Another panicked scream to his left almost burst Logan's eardrums, bringing a scowl to his face. “Don't do that, asshole. We're supposed to let the cops deal with it.”
“Wow, who put a straw up your ass and sucked all the fun out of you?” Wade danced up the stairs – literally danced, some bastardization of a jitterbug, if Logan had to guess. “Oh well. I super duper promise not to kill anyone else, okay? Strictly kneecaps and dick shots.”
Logan would've argued with that, but all the screaming was giving him a headache, so he chose the path of least resistance, following Wade into the building at a much more sedate pace. If he was lucky, Wade was going to handle the situation before Logan even had to get involved.
The bank foyer looked like a scene out of a bad TV show. There were people lying on the ground everywhere, held hostage by six more men with guns, one of which was currently aiming the barrel at the poor bank teller, who was stammering something weak and apologetic. They all turned around when the door opened, cocking their guns at Logan and Wade.
“Stop right there!” one of them shouted, and oh fuck, these were just kids, weren't they? No way this guy was over twenty-five. Logan couldn't say for sure through the ski masks they were wearing, but he'd been a teacher for so long that he would recognize that tone anywhere.
Wade sighed, putting his hand on his hips as he looked around the room, his katanas hanging limply from his hands. “You know, robbing a bank isn't what it used to be. Much less lucrative in the digital age. Really, you'd be better off busting a gas station or a supermarket.”
“Shut the fuck up!” One of the robbers stepped forward, pointing his gun right at Wade's head. “Drop your weapons!”
“Or what, shnooks? You going to kill me?” Logan could hear the shit-eating grin in Wade's voice. He dropped his swords, spreading his arms wide. “Try it, I dare you.”
“Get down on the ground!”
“No, thanks. I just got this suit, I don't want to dirty it up.” Wade walked forward, casually swinging his arms from side to side. “You know, I'd much rather have a hug. It's National Hugging Day, did you know that?”
“I'm warning you,” the robber said, his voice a little shaky as he aimed his gun, taking a step back to maintain their distance. “I'll do it!”
Wade laughed. “Yeah, sure. Put your money where your mouth is, assho–“
A shot rang out through the room, punching right through Wade's forehead. Some of the hostages gasped and whimpered, tucking themselves even more firmly against the ground.
Wade didn't even flinch. He just cocked his head and stared at the guy who'd shot him. “Well, that was rude. And wasteful. Bullets are pretty damn expensive these days, you know?”
“What the fuck?” the robber yelped, firing wildly at Wade, who didn't even bother dodging the bullets as he slowly advanced on the guy, who looked like he was seconds away from shitting his pants.
“Wow, this is awkward, huh?” Wade laughed, pulling out his own gun and swinging it in a lazy circle. “Here you are, trying your hand at the most cliché, entry level crime, and you accidentally do it on official X-Men turf. Sucks to suck.”
The robber's eyes widened even further as they snapped over to Logan. “You're –“
“Deadpool and Wolverine, at your service.” Wade did a little curtsy. “Sorry not sorry, but your sad, little gangster show is over. Now we're going to let these nice people go, and you're going to shut up and sit down.”
“The Wolverine's dead,” the robber said, his voice pitching a little hysterical. Logan sighed and stepped forward, pulling off his cowl.
“Just listen to what he says, bub. You're only making it harder on yourself.”
While the group of would-be robbers were still gawking at him, Wade pulled out his second gun, visibly sending them all into a panic. Logan cursed when he was suddenly faced with six barrels.
“Wade, don't –“
Everyone opened fire. Logan lunged forward to dispatch the closest guy by knocking him out cold, grunting when he got a gut full of lead for his troubles. Wade seemed to have retreated to protect the hostages, nailing one of the robbers with a bullet to the knee, just as he'd promised. Three of them started running away, and Logan let Wade deal with the remaining one as he gave chase, sprinting across the foyer –
A bullet to the head knocked him off balance, sending him crashing into one of the reception desks. It slowed him down just enough for two of the robbers to get away, turning the corner right as Logan looked up.
He growled, pouncing on the last guy standing and tackling him to the ground. What the fuck was Wade doing, just letting them run away? Logan looked around, ready to rip Wade a new one, and –
The bastard was ushering the hostages out of the building, hugging each and every one of them goodbye.
“Happy National Hugging Day. Thanks for cooperating. Here, have a hug to go. You too, big guy, bring it in. That's it, just keep moving, people, and get your free hugs while they're hot!” Logan heard him chirp over the comms, over and over again until it felt like Logan's head would explode.
“Wade!” he barked as he stabbed the robber underneath him straight through the thigh, ignoring his high-pitched scream as he jumped back to his feet and stomped on the fucker's gun, breaking it clean in half. “Get a fucking move on!”
“What do you think I'm doing? Not you, darling, you're doing just fine.” Logan looked over just in time to see Wade hug a middle-aged woman, who appeared to be clinging to him for dear life. Something about the sight made his blood boil.
Logan snarled wordlessly as he turned away and took off after the two runaway robbers on all fours. He reached them right as they were getting into their getaway car, slamming into the door so hard that he left an indent, glass raining down around him.
“Fuck!” one of them yelped as Logan reached in through the shattered window to drag him back out by the back of his sweater. The guy in the driver's seat hit the gas, and Logan was flung backwards as the robber in his grip screamed bloody murder when his leg broke as the car tore away with his lower body still stuck inside. Logan took a running leap and thrust his claws into the trunk, climbing on top of the car and slowly dragging himself across the roof until he could punch a hole through the windshield and grab the wheel.
Thankfully the driver wasn't a complete idiot and hit the brakes, almost making Logan tumble off the front of the car. Logan dragged him out through the windshield and slammed him down onto the hood, leaning in until his face was only inches from the robber's.
“Now, we're going to sit nice and tight until the cops show up. Got it?” he growled, and the guy nodded frantically, whimpering under his breath. “Good.”
“Peanut! Hey, over here!”
He looked up to see Wade jogging towards him, waving with both arms over his head. Logan scowled.
“You're too late, asshole. I already got them.”
“It's never too late for love!” Wade skidded to a stop, looking at where Logan was perched over the robber. “Wait. Am I interrupting something?”
“No. Show's over.” Logan hopped off the car, cracking his neck. His shoulder hurt like a bitch from almost rolling off the car, but that would fix itself in a couple of minutes. The sound of sirens in the distance was a relief, which was definitely not something that Logan would have ever thought he'd say. “That's our cue. Ready to go?”
“One second. I can't stand a mystery.” Wade leaned across the hood to tug the robber's mask off his face, gasping when a terrified kid stared back at him with teary eyes. “Oh my god! You're just a baby! Oh, honey, come here!” Wade hugged the kid exuberantly, rubbing his masked cheek against his head. “It's alright! You've been led astray by Narcos and Breaking Bad, but you can still turn your life around! Happy National Hugging Day!”
Logan only noticed that he was grinding his teeth when his jaw popped painfully. He rubbed his chin as he grabbed Wade by his katana holsters and pulled him away. “Come on. We're done here.”
“Stay in school!” Wade shouted at the kid as Logan dragged him back towards the bubble tea shop, where he'd parked his motorcycle. “Don't do drugs! Save the planet! Find Nemo!”
Logan tuned him out, looking up at the sky when he felt a few droplets of rain on his face. Wonderful. Just what they needed. Wade kept yammering on until they reached the motorcycle and Logan jammed his spare helmet over Wade's head, not that he needed it. Logan straddled his bike, revving the engine just because. “Climb on and shut up.”
“Oooh, you don't have to tell me twice!” Wade hopped onto the seat behind him, trying to wrap his arms around Logan's waist until a loud snikt made him grab hold of the seat instead. “Okay, message received! Off we go then, to infinity and beyond!”
Logan wished he could stay mad at the asshole, but he just sighed and took off towards the X-mansion. The sooner they got there, the sooner they could finish their mission. And if Logan was really lucky, they could spend the rest of the day doing nothing, as he'd originally planned.
Given his usual luck though, he wasn't holding his breath.
By the time they reached the mansion, the rain had turned from a light trickle into a downpour. Logan would deny it until the day he died, but one of the main reasons why he hated water so much was what it did to his hair – flattening it against his head and making him look stupid. So he was already in a stellar mood when they met up with the other X-Men, tugging his cowl over his head to at least preserve a little bit of dignity.
“Happy National Hugging Day, everybody!” Wade shouted when they were barely even in earshot. It was quickly becoming Logan's least favorite phrase. “Free hugs! Come on, give uncle Wade some love!”
“Gross,” Ellie complained while Yukio squealed in excitement, bouncing over to let Wade wrap her up in an enthusiastic hug. They squeezed each other for so long that Logan got a twitch in his eye by the time they pulled apart.
“Hi, Wade,” Yukio said with a huge smile. “Happy National Hugging Day! You still give the best hugs!”
“I know, right? A shame that most of my talents go unsung,” Wade said, putting a hand to his chest. Logan rolled his eyes. “Alright, who's next? Oh, I see a grumpy little chrome dome in desperate need of some good old-fashioned skinship! Come here, my good man!”
One by one, Wade hugged all of the X-Men hello, lingering far too long for Logan's tastes. And to Logan's surprise, everyone tolerated it without a single complaint. Luckily nobody tried to do the same to him, instead greeting him with their usual nods and handshakes.
“Wow,” he overheard Storm say with obvious surprise. “You do give great hugs.”
“I know,” Wade said smugly, and Logan turned to see him patting Storm gently on the back. “It's a skill.”
Logan didn't even realize that he was glaring daggers at Wade's arms wrapped around Storm until Laura sidled up at his side and boxed him in the shoulder.
“Hey, old man. Something bothering you?”
“Always,” he grumbled, and Laura snorted, crossing her arms over her chest.
“I guess that's the price of living with Wade. How's that turning out for you? Any luck yet?”
Logan looked at her sharply, not amused by the implications. “We're fine. Why do you ask?”
Laura raised an eyebrow at him before she shook her head. “Never mind. I guess I'm just seeing things.”
Logan was about to ask what she meant by that when a shout drew his attention over to his left, where Wade was currently hanging off of Remy's arm, bouncing excitedly on his toes.
“It is! It's a whole thing,” Wade was explaining to him, practically beaming even through the mask. “You just hug everyone you see! It's the best!”
“I like this tradition,” Remy said – or Logan thought he said, despite the accent – with a shit-eating grin. His arms came up to rest across Wade's shoulders, which – that was fine. Totally fine. Remy turned to look at Rogue. “How about it, cher? A hug to celebrate the occasion?”
Rogue gave him a dirty look, but even at this distance, Logan could see the hint of a blush dusting her cheeks. “No, thank you.”
So Remy still hadn't made his move yet. Logan wished he could say he felt for him, but the sight of his hands all over Wade was making it hard to sympathize. For fuck's sake, Logan needed to get a grip. He had no right to be jealous.
Especially not after turning Wade down this morning. Which he most definitely didn't find himself regretting right now. That would be stupid.
“Are we ready to go then?” he heard Colossus ask, and Logan jumped on the opportunity to finally get this shit show over with.
“Let's go,” he said, leading the way to the jet and gritting his teeth when he heard Wade's laughter trailing behind him, undercut by the deeper tones of Remy chuckling.
He already knew this mission was going to be torture.
It wasn't until they got to their drop-off point that Logan even thought to question why Charles had sent so many X-Men on this trip. Usually, Wade and Logan handled missions on their own, and the X-Men respected that unless there was no other way.
So when they reached their destination and a turret immediately shot the jet out of the sky – yeah. Logan should have probably expected that.
“Brace yourselves,” Storm shouted as she whirled out of the falling aircraft, conjuring a strong wind that made their landing a lot softer than it could have been. The impact still rattled Logan down to his bones, his whole body aching when the jet finally came to a stop.
“Fuck,” Wade groaned at his side, grabbing Logan's shoulder to hoist himself to his feet. For once, Logan didn't shake him off. “I don't know who our hosts are, but they're fucking rude. That's not how you get your guests to stay for dinner.”
“If we're not careful, I'm pretty sure we'll become dinner,” Rogue said, frowning at something outside the window. Logan didn't even want to know.
Unfortunately, he was about to find out, whether he liked it or not.
“This is a lot worse than checking out some signal,” he growled, and Colossus smiled sheepishly.
“It was a strong signal. On a frequency used by –“
“Holy fuck,” Wade yelped, eyes widening with excitement. “Is that Juggernaut? Fuck yeah! Tear me apart again, big boy, my body is ready!”
Logan closed his eyes. Charles was going to owe him big time for this.
“Alright,” he said, unsheathing his claws. “Let's just get this over with.”
The battle was brutal. Logan couldn't even count the number of people he'd cut down already, but more just kept coming, running at them with guns and swords and all manner of other weapons. Whatever secret base they'd uncovered here, it seemed to be a hornet's nest of bad guys – fundamentalists who had no problem giving their life for their demented cause.
Still, once Colossus finally took care of the Juggernaut – with Logan's and Laura's help – the X-Men had the upper hand. There were very few enhanced people among the avalanche of henchmen, so it was mostly a battle of endurance and trying not to get overwhelmed by sheer numbers. As a result, Logan could tell that Wade was getting bored.
And a bored Wade was nothing but trouble.
Logan had lost sight of him a little while back, busy fending off another wave of attackers. But as he spun around to survey the battlefield, searching for him, he saw that Wade was standing back to back with Remy, and –
No. Not back to back. Arm in arm, whirling around each other as if they were dancing, both of them shooting at their surrounding enemies with wide grins on their faces.
Logan stopped dead in his tracks, staring incredulously as Remy grabbed Wade around the waist and dipped him low enough for Wade to fire off another round over his shoulder, his head turned upside down. What in the absolute fuck –
“That's thirty-two,” Wade shouted over the ruckus, laughter in his voice, and Remy smirked, twirling Wade back into his arms for – oh, for fuck's sake –
They were hugging. In the middle of a fucking battle.
“I love this holiday!” Remy shouted, and Wade cackled like a lunatic, dragging him along by the arm as they spun into another attack that ended with Wade ensconced in Remy's arms yet again.
“Thirty-tree!” Wade shouted, and – they were counting the hugs. Because of course they were. Logan's hands clenched into fists, his chest pulling tight with some unidentifiable emotion –
“Logan!”
He twitched, whirling around just in time to block a knife flying straight at his head. He stabbed the fucker who'd tried to kill him straight through the throat, seething at the audacity. Laura jogged up to him, her brows furrowed angrily. Which probably meant that she was worried about him. Great.
“You good?”
“Of course,” Logan lied, deliberately turning away from the spectacle Wade and Remy were making of themselves. It was a good thing that Remy hadn't grown the balls to ask Rogue out yet, otherwise Logan would be obligated to tear him a new one.
A part of him still wanted to. Luckily, there was a plethora of assholes to take his anger out on right in front of him.
Logan shook blood off his claws and dove back into the fray.
By the end of the fight, Logan was almost glad for the rain. Despite the absolute bloodbath he'd wrought, his suit was already mostly clean again. He'd need to remember to compliment B-15 for the waterproof fabric that the TVA used in their suits.
That was as far as his gratitude extended though. Especially once he rejoined the rest of the group and saw Wade and Remy still huddled up together, arms slung over each others' shoulders.
“– most fun I've had with clothes on in the past ten years, for sure,” Wade was saying when Logan stepped into hearing distance. “If you're ever free for a little mano-a-mano, just hit me up!”
“Will do,” Remy said, obviously amused. Wade pulled him into one more hug right as Logan walked up to them, annoyance bubbling under his skin.
“There,” Wade said happily. “Sixty-nine. The perfect number.”
“A formidable feat,” Remy said as he – finally – let go of Wade, propping his hands up on his hips. “If you're ever in need of a dancing partner, give me a call.”
Logan growled under his breath. Wade seemed to hear him, because he turned to look at Logan right at that moment, his face lighting up as he ran towards him, waving at Remy over his shoulder.
“Sorry, Gumbo,” he shouted. “Got my partner right here! We're a package deal!”
Fuck. Logan really wanted to hold on to his anger, but the pang in his heart overshadowed any lingering resentment. Still – “Didn't feel like a package deal today,” Logan grumped. “At least Laura watched my six.”
“Aw, did you miss me?” Wade teased but notably didn't touch Logan, not like he had with Remy. That realization shouldn't have hurt, but it really did. “Don't worry, grumpy cat. I'm all yours for the rest of the –“
Wade's phone chimed. He pulled it out and looked at it for a second, a soft smile stretching across his lips.
“Actually – Vanessa has something for me. Can we swing by her place to pick it up?”
Fucking hell. The last thing Logan needed after today was to see Wade with his ex, who was way out of his league and still a much better fit for him than –
“Sure,” Logan said through gritted teeth, and Wade gave him an apologetic smile, patting his arm.
“Sorry, honey bear. I'll make it up to you, okay? How about pancakes tomorrow, my treat?”
Logan grunted, reluctantly mollified. Wade made fantastic pancakes, even though he could burn water. The way Wade's mind worked was a mystery he'd long since given up any chance of cracking. “Alright.”
Wade whopped, hooking his arm through Logan's to drag him along. “Come on! Last one to the emergency jet is a limp-dicked loser!”
If Logan didn't even try to pull his arm away until Wade eventually let go of him, that was his business, and his business alone.
Thankfully Vanessa's apartment wasn't too far outside the city, but between flying back to the mansion, sitting through the debrief and riding home, it still took them almost two hours to get there.
Logan wanted to wait by his bike, but Wade insisted that he should at least say hello to Vanessa, so now Logan was here on her doorstep, awkwardly shuffling his feet while Wade rang the bell. Vanessa opened the door within seconds, and before Wade could even greet her, she threw her arms out with a wide grin and said, “Happy National Hugging Day!”
Wade laughed exuberantly, drawing her into his arms for a tight and altogether far too intimate hug for Logan's tastes. “You remembered! Thank fuck!”
“Wouldn't miss it for the world.”
“That's my girl.” The words alone were enough to make Logan's throat felt tight, but when he noticed how gently Wade was cradling her head, pushing his fingers through the tresses of her hair, he felt like he could barely even breathe for a second.
“Not your girl anymore,” she reminded him, and Wade sighed, pulling away just enough to pout at her.
“To my eternal dismay. I still give the best hugs though, right?” Wade asked with a teasing wink, and while Vanessa rolled her eyes, she was still smiling.
“I will neither confirm nor deny.”
“Good enough for me!” Wade exclaimed, pulling her into another hug and spinning her around like a princess until she yelped for him to put her down, still laughing. When they finally let go of each other, Vanessa turned to look at Logan with a wide grin and opened her arms.
“Come on, Logan! Share in the festivities!”
There was nothing Logan wanted to do less right now. But despite evidence to the contrary, he knew how to be polite. So he pasted on a smile and hugged Vanessa for approximately zero point two seconds before he pushed her back to a safe distance. “Hey, Vanessa.”
Wade groaned, fanning himself dramatically. “Fuck, is it just me or is the awkwardness reaching critical levels?”
“Fuck off,” Logan grumbled, and Wade tossed him a wink before he grinned at Vanessa.
“Don't worry about him. He's not house trained yet, but I'm getting him there.”
Vanessa rolled her eyes, patting Logan on the shoulder. “Ignore him. He's a dick.”
“Hey,” Wade protested, whining when Vanessa flicked his forehead. “Mean! Mean and unjust!”
“Deal with it.” She headed back into her apartment for a moment before she came back with a package held in her arms which she handed off to Wade. “Here you go. I saved half a dozen just for you guys.”
Wade gasped, taking the package with exaggerated care, as if whatever was in there was going to break at the slightest touch. “Fuck me. That's worth more than a pot of gold.” Logan was bewildered to see Wade's eyes fill with tears as he leaned in to hug Vanessa again, rubbing his face against her shoulder.
Logan watched them with a tight knot in his chest, his hands twitching with the urge to grab Wade and pull him away. He felt ridiculous for how much he wanted that to be him, just to feel for himself what being held like that by Wade was like – fuck, he hated to say it, but if Wade's behavior this entire day had been a ploy to punish Logan for refusing Wade's hug this morning, then he was sad to say that it had worked.
Unaware of Logan's suffering, Wade sniffled, still clutching at Vanessa like a lifeline. “Thank you. Seriously, you're the best.”
“Don't mention it,” she said, patting his back for a little longer before she pulled away, giving Logan an amused grin. “You'll need to tell me what you think. It's my mom's recipe.”
Logan didn't even bother asking, just smiled at her as best he could at the moment and nodded. “Will do.”
“Oh, he's going to love them. If not, it's grounds for divorce.” Wade wiped his eyes, pressing a quick kiss to Vanessa's cheek before he stepped back out of her doorway. “I hate to grab this and dash, but it's past Logan's bedtime, so –”
“Don't sweat it. Dermot and I have plans tonight.” She winked at him before she waved them away. “Go on, get. I'll see you next week!”
“Not if I see you first!” Wade walked backwards, waving at her until the door closed. Then he sighed happily, hugging the package to his chest like a stuffed animal. “Life is good, peanut. Life is good.”
“So what's in there?” Logan asked, and Wade smirked at him.
“Only the best muffins you'll ever have. Vanessa's mom makes them for her birthday, and I have dibs on whatever she doesn't keep for herself. We signed a contract and everything.”
Logan snorted, shaking his head. “Only you.”
Wade grinned cheekily. “I know, I'm awesome. Come on, let's head home, then you can try some.”
Wade was humming some happy little tune to himself as they walked back to the bike. When he got on, he didn't even try to grab Logan's waist, holding on to the seat instead. Logan's hands clenched on the handlebars.
He shouldn't want Wade to touch him. But he really fucking did. And it was only now starting to dawn on him that if he still wanted that goddamn hug, it was up to him to ask for it. Of all the times for Wade to start respecting his boundaries, of course it had to be when Logan wanted him to do anything but.
Logan grimaced as he sped off into the night, debating whether or not he was going to be able to swallow his pride and cough up his request once they got home.
Somehow, he already knew the answer to that.
“Honey, we're home!” Wade whisper-yelled as soon as they walked in the door, mindful of Althea probably already sleeping. Mary Puppins all but crashed into his legs, silently wagging her entire body with excitement. “Aw, I missed you too, my little cuntchkin! Come here!”
Logan closed the door as Wade picked Mary up and spun her around in a circle before pressing a smacking kiss to her forehead. He wished he could say that it wasn't adorable, but Logan had started trying to be more honest with himself recently.
Which unfortunately meant that he knew exactly what he had to do.
“Fuck, I'm beat,” Wade said with a yawn, setting Mary back down so he could stretch his arms up over his head, bending his waist from side to side. “I think the muffins will have to wait, peanut. I'm just going to –“
“Wait!” The word came out a little more forceful than intended, and Logan winced when Wade startled, turning around to give him an inquisitive look. Logan gritted his teeth, then deliberately relaxed his jaw and sighed. “I'm sorry.”
Wade's brow furrowed slightly. “What was that?”
“I said I'm sorry. For this morning.” Wade still looked confused, so Logan forced himself to continue. “For turning you down.”
Wade's head whipped towards the wall, staring at nothing for a second before he looked at Logan again. “Did I black out and propose to you or something?”
“No,” Logan said grumpily, and Wade propped up one hand on his hip, scratching his head with the other.
“Well, sorry to say this, but I have no idea what you're talking about.”
Logan huffed loudly, jaw clenching to the point of pain. “The hug.”
“Oh!” Wade's face cleared up as he smiled. “Nah, it's no biggie. I'm all about consent, so don't worry, I won't try that again. You're safe from my infernal grabby hands, pinky promise!”
Logan's heart sank. “What?”
“You're a real cutie patootie for saying sorry though.” Wade chuckled. “You don't have to apologize for having boundaries, pookie.”
“That's not why I'm apologizing,” Logan said sharply. “Don't put words in my mouth.”
Wade froze, his smile fading as his brow furrowed in a concerned frown. “Okay?”
“I –“ He what? The words wouldn't come. Logan gritted his teeth in frustration, hands balling into fists. Why could he never just fucking say what he meant?
“Oookay. I'm getting some weird vibes from you right now, which is saying something, because you're a pretty weird guy to begin with.”
“I don't want to hear that from you, bub,” Logan growled, and Wade held up both hands in supplication.
“Hey, don't shoot the messenger! Seriously though, what's wrong? You look like I just shot your cat in the face.”
Strangely enough, that mental image was enough to finally knock Logan out of his weird headspace. He chuckled, giving Wade a small smirk. “You know that from experience?”
Wade gasped, grabbing his chest with one hand. “How fucking dare you? I wouldn't hurt a fly. Cats are too cute to be murdered in cold blood.”
“Cats are assholes.”
“Takes one to know one, peanut.”
Logan sighed, wiping a hand down his face. “Look, I'm sorry I turned down your hug. You were trying to be nice, and I was a dick about it for no reason. That's all.”
Wade was silent for a disconcertingly long moment. Then he said, “'Turned down' is a pretty nice way of saying you stabbed me in the arm.”
Logan winced. “I'm sorry.”
“It's fine.” Wade looked at the bright pink Hello Kitty watch on his wrist. “Well, we still have about six minutes left until I turn back into a pumpkin, so... You want to hug it out?”
Logan froze, his heart kicking up into double time. “What?”
“Bring it in, bring it in. Free hugs! Bring it in, bring it in.” Wade hummed some melody under his breath as he shimmied his hips, stretching his arms wide with a dazzling smile. “Let's make a little encanto of our own, Wolvie. Just minus the sex, cause you know granny had it going on.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Logan asked even as he walked towards Wade like a moth drawn to a flame, unable to resist. As soon as he was within grabbing distance, Wade slung his arms around him, pulling Logan close to his chest and – oh.
Logan instantly understood why people said that Wade gave the best hugs.
Wade's body may be ninety percent muscle, but he still felt soft, like the perfect cushion for Logan to rest his head on. His grip was tight but not too tight, just enough to make Logan feel held without being restricted. And on top of that, Wade was warm, like a space heater that molded itself perfectly to Logan's body shape, giving him that same cozy feeling of sinking into a hot bath.
Logan brought his arms up to tentatively hug Wade back, and somehow that made it even better, like two puzzle pieces slotting into place. Then Wade turned his head to tuck his face into Logan's neck, and that was –
“Fuck,” Wade sighed, his warm breath tickling Logan's skin and raising goosebumps in its wake. “That hits the spot. I really needed that today.”
Logan tightened his grip, his heart quickly picking up speed when he felt how solid Wade was in his arms, undeniably real. Sometimes he still found himself wondering if all of this was just an elaborate dream that he was going to wake up from any second now. But with Wade's hands on him, those doubts were barely even a whisper at the back of his mind.
“You got plenty of it today,” Logan mumbled, only realizing how jealous and petty it sounded once the words were already out of his mouth. Luckily, Wade just chuckled, nuzzling the hinge of Logan's jaw in a way that made Logan want to – well. Made him want.
“Not like this,” Wade said, somehow finding a way to bring them even closer by shuffling one of his legs in between Logan's. This whole thing was quickly turning into something it wasn't supposed to be. Hell, Logan didn't even wantWade like this. Usually. Mostly.
Or maybe he'd been lying to himself this whole time. His body certainly seemed to think that this was an appropriate time to wake up his long dead libido from where he'd buried it six feet under several decades ago.
“Don't stab me, okay?” Wade whispered, and before Logan could ask him why he'd said that, Wade tipped his head just enough to press a soft kiss to Logan's cheek. All the air whooshed out of Logan's lungs as his pulse kicked up a notch, his hands clenching on Wade's body. Somewhere inside his brain, it felt like a switch was flipped, instinct taking over, and before he knew it he'd turned his head to the side to guide Wade's lips to his mouth for a proper kiss, grabbing his chin to keep him from pulling away. Not that Wade even tried.
No, Wade moaned right into Logan's mouth, his fingers digging into the meat of Logan's shoulders, and that tiny sting of pain was enough to convince Logan that this was real, this was actually happening –
They kissed like two men starving – panting and grabbing and cursing in between desperate bids for control, both of them trying to dominate the kiss. The head rush of it felt almost the same as when they were fighting, rough and relentless and hovering right on the edge of violence.
It was absolutely perfect.
By the time they pulled away, they were both red-faced and gasping, staring into each others' eyes in complete disbelief at what had just happened. Wade was the one who laughed first, and Logan joined him a second later, caught up in the ridiculousness of the moment and high on the relief of knowing that Wade felt the exact same way as him. They didn't even need words to figure that one out.
Which was good. Apparently they were both shit at communicating.
“I can't believe I'm saying this,” Wade giggled, sounding almost as overwhelmed as Logan felt. “But the muffins are no longer the best part of today.”
Logan snorted, letting his head thunk down onto Wade's shoulder. “I sure hope not.”
“Oh, don't worry, it's not even a contest.” Wade's fingers carded through his hair, making Logan melt even further into him. “As lovely as this is, I think I'm about to pass out on my feet. Do you want to –“
“Yes.” It wasn't even a question. “Just don't hog the blankets. And you're still making pancakes tomorrow.”
Wade's grin was so radiant that it almost hurt Logan's eyes as he wrapped Logan up in another warm hug before he led him to bed. And happiness hit Logan like a bullet to the chest when he realized that he could have this all the time now. Whenever he wanted.
Logan was the luckiest son of a bitch alive.