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Yuuta kept expecting there to be one more bombshell, some other lingering aftershock from everything they'd been through. He couldn't sleep well at night. When he caught sight of his own reflection in a mirror, it didn't look like himself anymore. The scars on his forehead were a reminder of everything that had happened. He hated to look at them.
He didn't want to take over the Gojo clan. He supposed someone had to, but he didn't want it to be him. It wasn't his family - it wasn't his responsibility or his right. He didn't feel like he deserved that, either as a reward or a punishment depending on how you looked at it. It was too visible, too high-profile, too much pressure. He found it unsettling how easily some people seemed to want to move on and forget, and expected him to be able to do the same.
So when Toge messaged him to ask him to come to see him at the Inumaki clan's estate, he hesitated. Was it going to be more jujutsu society politics, trying to sway him in one direction or another before he'd even decided what he was going to do? But it was Toge, after all, and he had barely had time to see him since the last battle against Sukuna. And he trusted Toge not to make the situation uncomfortable. So he went.
The Inumaki clan was an old and well-respected family, not as prominent as the Big Three sorcerer families had been, but given the current decimated and destroyed state of the Big Three, they were doing comparatively well for themselves. The estate was some distance out in the countryside, higher up in the mountains, away from the chaos of Tokyo. The setting reminded Yuuta of a shrine, some ancient site hidden away from the modern world. As soon as he passed through the gates, he could feel the difference here - not just the curtain around the property, but the wards and defenses to keep out curses. He wondered for a moment if it would bar Rika from the grounds, or whether he would be able to summon her here, but decided that probably wouldn't be necessary. Toge welcomed him when he arrived, and while there were certainly other members of the family around, they seemed to be avoiding the pair, or at least, weren't making a point of keeping them under observation. Yuuta appreciated that they had some privacy.
Toge brought him to a guest house on the grounds, a traditional structure with a tiled roof, wooden walls, and sliding paper screens. It sat overlooking a small pond whose water was a muted grey-blue. The leaves on the alder and birch trees were bursting forth with the vibrant green of springtime, signs of new life that would continue year after year, no matter what else might happen. It was peaceful, secluded. Yuuta hadn't known how much he needed that until he was there. "It's nice here," he said to Toge.
"Salmon," Toge said. He pulled out a phone and wrote a message one-handed, showing it to Yuuta when he was done. He seemed like he'd gotten pretty good at managing with only one arm. The message said You can stay as long as you want.
"Thank you." Yuuta wasn't sure how long he could avoid everything about the outside world here, but he was planning to do his best.
After Toge briefly showed him around and left him to get settled in, Yuuta got out the futon and the rest of the bedding, spread it out on the floor, got into bed and collapsed for approximately twenty-six hours. When he woke up, blearily looking at his phone, he thought maybe he'd only slept for a couple of hours, but no, an entire day had passed, and it was almost dinnertime the following day. He felt groggy, sore and stiff from lying down for too long, but also better rested than he had been in months. When he checked his messages, there was a text from Toge from several hours earlier, letting him know that he would bring food whenever Yuuta woke up. Feeling slightly guilty, Yuuta texted him back to say he was awake now, and would love some food. Then he got up and tried to make himself presentable, washing off and changing into some clean clothes, trying his best to suggest that he hadn't just gone into a brief day-long coma.
Toge showed up at the door a little while later, with a servant carrying a tray full of food. The servant's mouth was covered and they didn't speak, just setting down the meal on the table and retreating outside. Toge gestured for Yuuta to help himself, which he did, gratefully. The food was delicious, a selection of numerous small plates of grilled fish, steamed vegetables, pickled daikon and cabbage, a warm bowl of soup, a clay pot of steaming rice with pieces of chicken nestled inside, a pot of tea... "Itadakimasu," Yuuta said, bowing politely, before he ate his fill, with Toge watching him and nibbling on a few bites here and there to be polite.
"Did you make all this?" he asked partway through the meal, knowing that Toge liked to cook, but uncertain if he would have gone to all this effort when the clan clearly had servants who could do that kind of thing.
"Salmon," Toge said affirmatively.
"It's incredible," Yuuta told him. "I haven't had a meal this good in... I can't remember how long. Thank you."
Toge gave a little smile, the kind that Yuuta hadn't seen in ages. "Tuna mayo," he said, looking a bit embarrassed but pleased.
Afterwards, the servant silently cleared away the remains of the meal, but Toge stayed behind. He and Yuuta sat on the engawa, looking out at the pond as the sun sank lower behind the mountains. Yuuta was thankful to be with someone he could sit in companionable silence with, who wouldn't ask him a lot of questions or expect him to fill the air with empty words.
"I'm sorry," he said at last.
Toge waved his hand dismissively, as if to say Yuuta didn't need to apologize.
"If I had only... if things had gone differently..." Yuuta persisted, only to find his mouth stopped by Toge's in a fierce kiss. Yuuta was overcome with surprise, his hands against Toge's back, so warm and alive. When they finally pulled apart, both of them were gasping for breath, and Yuuta found himself struck dumb with amazement. Whatever he had been going to say before died before he could put it into words, and he was left with nothing but Toge's cursed energy tingling against his lips.
In that moment of silence, Toge pulled a note out of his pocket. He must have prepared it earlier, Yuuta realized, although how much earlier he couldn't guess. He'd clearly been planning ahead, though. Yuuta unfolded it and read it.
You did everything you could, the message said. You almost died, and without your sacrifice, a lot more people would definitely have died. If anyone tries to tell you that you should have done more, I'll personally bite their heads off.
Yuuta smiled ruefully at that. "Okay," he said, letting out a deep breath. "I hope I don't have to take you up on that." He leaned back, watching as the first fireflies of the season began to come out, dotting the surrounding trees and bushes with tiny sparks. He couldn't remember when he'd last felt so safe, so cared for. Rika loved him, of course, and protected him, but Rika didn't make him dinner or sit with him while the sun was setting. It was a different kind of love, one that was human and fragile and needed to be nurtured carefully.
Once the sun had disappeared and the stars were starting to become visible in the orange-blue sky, Yuuta turned to Toge, his heart in his throat. "Will you stay with me tonight?"
"Salmon," Toge agreed, sounding relieved and even hopeful.
They retreated to the bedroom, and helped undress one another with a careful delicacy. Yuuta did more of the helping, to be honest, but Toge did his best with one hand. The scars on his shoulder and the stump of his arm had healed well, better than the last time Yuuta had seen them, though still red and gnarled against the rest of his skin. Toge traced his fingertips over Yuuta's scars, running up into his hair, and Yuuta shivered. He didn't like to look at those particular scars, or even think about them, but having Toge touch them was all right, somehow, because he knew that Toge understood their cost.
The gentle, careful touches as they became reacquainted with each others' bodies could only last so long before they needed more, however. The caress through his hair turned into a grab, as Toge clutched him closer. Yuuta felt as hungry for this as he had been for the meal earlier - like it was a form of nourishment his body had almost forgotten it needed. He'd been starving for so long and had learned to endure it, to ignore the pangs of want, and now he had this feast laid out before him and he didn't know where to start. Gradually, they lowered themselves together onto the futon, Toge on his back, Yuuta kneeling between his legs, one hand on his own cock and one on Toge's. "I missed you so much," he sighed.
"Spicy cod roe," Toge replied, in the tone that meant get on with it already. Yuuta grinned and bent down to kiss him again, bringing their cocks together so they could rub against one another as they made out. He wanted more than this, wanted to last longer so that he could have it, but it was too much too quickly, after far too long without. In a few seconds, Yuuta came with a sharp gasp, trembling as he collapsed on top of Toge.
"Sorry," he gasped, wondering if he'd ruined the moment, but he should have known that Toge wouldn't be upset with him. Instead of complaining that he'd finished too fast, Toge just planted his hand on Yuuta's chest, pushing him until he rolled over, then moving on top of him instead. He grinned down at Yuuta, that familiar mischievous smile that Yuuta hadn't seen on his face in far too long, and traced his fingers down Yuuta's chest, smearing them through the mess on his stomach, then touching his oversensitive cock and making him yelp. Toge looked even more pleased at that, running his tongue over his lips in barely suppressed desire. He lowered his head, lapping teasingly at Yuuta's soft cockhead, and Yuuta whined at the intensity of the sensation, but didn't ask him to stop. He wanted all of this, all the desperate need and hunger and desire, and he wanted to know that Toge felt the same way he did.
Toge slid down a little further, nipping gently at Yuuta's inner thighs, nudging them apart further, until he was tonguing Yuuta's ass. Yuuta thought he might pass out. Toge's clever, dangerous tongue was on him, in him, and he could feel the faint undercurrent of cursed energy from his lips, from the whisper of his breath against damp, secret skin. Yuuta's cock wasn't ready to get hard again yet, but he desperately wanted to, wanted more and more of this, his desire unsated even if his body was still recovering. "Please," he begged, not knowing what he was asking for, just wanting.
Pulling his head up, his pale hair tousled, Toge peered at him with a curious smile. "Tuna mayo?" Yuuta took that to mean something like what do you want? but with a tone of voice that suggested he just wanted to hear Yuuta say it out loud.
"More," he begged, "please, I need you..."
Toge quirked an eyebrow and smiled, as if he was planning something devious. He parted his lips, and Yuuta trembled, feeling the incoming flow of cursed energy. "Get hard," Toge commanded, the cursed speech compelling Yuuta's body to overcome its limitations and do as he was told. His cock stiffened immediately, blood rushing to it in a sudden surge, and a cry tore from Yuuta's throat - he ached, throbbed, full to the bursting point with need, as though he hadn't just collapsed in a sticky, blissful mess five minutes earlier. Toge looked smugly pleased with himself as he straddled Yuuta's hips, pressing him flat to the mattress with his hand in the middle of Yuuta's chest.
Yuuta didn't need any further commands to know what to do. With a few careful adjustments and a bit of assistance from Toge, he slid his cock into him. Toge had obviously prepared for just this eventuality, as he took Yuuta's huge cock with just the slightest gasp. After a moment to settle in, he began to ride him, and Yuuta dug his fingers into Toge's thighs, feeling the flex of his muscles, the warmth of his skin, so wonderful, so alive.
They were completely alone here, and Yuuta realized that he didn't have to hold back his cries or worry about being overheard. His gasps came more freely, the sounds mingling with the slap of flesh against flesh as Toge rode him. Toge, for his part, tried to stifle his cries, not out of fear of being overheard, but because every moan let out a little more cursed energy.
Yuuta was confident he could last longer this time, but the pressure was still incredible, the tight hot grip of Toge's ass around him driving him wild. Yuuta wondered how long Toge had been planning for this, how patient he'd had to be to wait for Yuuta to recover and deal with the aftermath of the catastrophic situation, to give him the time he needed to attempt to put himself back together. He clearly wanted this, but he had been willing to wait this long, until Yuuta came to him and neither of them could wait any longer.
Toge's hand roamed freely over his body, one moment pinching his nipple between thumb and forefinger, the next sliding up to his mouth so that he could suck those fingers, then coming to linger against his throat, pressing hard enough to make Yuuta's breath hitch and his field of vision narrow until all he could see was Toge. He didn't want this to end, but he knew that sooner or later he wouldn't be able to restrain himself.
It seemed that Toge had thought about that too, though. "Hold on," he said in his cursed speech, voice echoing in the small room, and Yuuta suddenly felt as if a vice had clamped around his cock, and knew with dead certainty that he couldn't come no matter how much he might want to. He whimpered, thrusting harder to no avail, and Toge looked immensely pleased with himself. Yuuta couldn't do anything except fuck him, and it was clear Toge intended to make it last as long as he wanted and not a second less. Yuuta realized that turnabout was fair play. He needed to do something to help things along.
He slid his hand along Toge's thigh, grabbing hold of his cock as it bounced with each vigorous stroke and capturing it in his firm grip. Toge couldn't bite back a gasp at that, a little startled cry that stained the air around it dark with cursed energy. Yuuta bit his lip and began to jerk Toge off, his palm slick with sweat that was soon accentuated by the slow trickle of pre-cum seeping from Toge's tip. Words began to flow from Yuuta's mouth, a mix of endearments and dirty talk. "That's it, beautiful, just like that, I want to feel you come for me, want you to come so hard on my cock, I know you need it too, don't you, sweetheart?" He only half-knew what he was saying, but Toge seemed to like it, whether the words themselves or just the sound of Yuuta's voice, ragged and desperate.
Still, he didn't succumb just yet. He rode Yuuta a good while longer, waiting until he was coated in sweat and pleading to come. "Please, Toge, I need it, I need you, please, let me come, let's come together..." Finally, at long last, Toge took pity on him. When he was close, trembling on the verge of orgasm, he looked down at Yuuta with a mix of pleasure and pride, and whispered, "Come."
It was as if something in Yuuta snapped, a fierce restraint that had finally been released, and he jerked frantically, coming with a cry so loud that they could probably hear it all the way back in Tokyo, let alone in the main Inumaki manor. Toge came with him, a shudder rolling through his body as he spilled his load all over Yuuta's hand. The intensity of it, after waiting so long, wrung them both out until they were left lying entangled, messy, and panting for air.
Yuuta closed his eyes, dizzy and still twitching with hard aftershocks as Toge slowly eased off of his softening cock, but remained sprawled across his chest. The room was silent apart from the hollow rasp of their breath. Toge lifted his head briefly to kiss Yuuta, and then, with one finger, traced a character on his chest. Stay, he said. He wasn't commanding him - it was an offer of shelter and protection, but not a demand.
"I'll stay for a while," Yuuta agreed. He didn't want to become part of the Inumaki clan any more than he wanted to become the head of the Gojo clan, but he could figure that out later. "As long as I'm not imposing on your family."
Toge shook his head, and traced something else on Yuuta's skin with his finger. Stay with me, he wrote this time instead. Yuuta understood more clearly now - it wasn't just an invitation to stay here, but a request for something more, a plea to not be separated again, no matter where the future might take them.
"For as long as you want me," Yuuta agreed, kissing him on the forehead.