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There was a man in the world named Dean Winchester. Apparently he was The Best™. Kind, caring, and passionate. Funny and charming. Dean was apparently the perfect man. He had a car that he loved, took care of others, and was smart. This perfect man was a hero for the downtrodden, a leader to his men, and beautiful to boot. Even his flaws were perfect.
At least that's how his brother, Castiel, described the man. Every phone call, text chain, and even the weird scrabble/bananagram letter pictures that they'd send back and forth- all of them would have some mention or reference to Dean. It'd started last year- when the two had somehow met (Cas was oddly quiet about the how, and really that made Gabe even more curious about it). He hadn't been surprised when 'my friend Dean' turned into 'my boyfriend Dean' one day. He was happy for his brother- poor kid deserved to have something good happen to him after all the shit from when they grew up. Sure, maybe the couple should have been out of the obsession phase by now, but he'd give Cas another year or two before he said anything. Or maybe he'd never say anything; Cas had always been intense about the things he loved. Maybe Dean was one of those things he'd always be intense about.
Gabriel looked over the most recent message again. This one a complaint from earlier that day about how anal Dean was about the kitchen being spotless and how Cas was going to try to keep him reigned in during the holiday. By his estimate the message was at least 72% emojis, typical for Cas. He rolled his eyes and shut his phone screen off. He looked around the room, saw that Mike and Luci were fighting over Christmas lights while Raphael and Anna were about to tear each other apart over what tree topper to use… and then turned the screen back on. Cas being sweet on his boyfriend with too many emojis was less painful. He heard a metallic crash, the sound of a body hitting the wall, and what sounded like Anna actually hissing- yeah, Cas and his boyfriend were far less painful then what was happening around him.
Three dots appeared at the bottom of the phone when he looked down at it. He gave Cas a few minuets, but when Cas still hadn't actually sent a message he typed out his own.
when are u and The Boyfriend™ getting here? Can't wait to meet him in the flesh.
The dots disappeared for a few minuets before Cas finally sent something back.
We're going to leave 🏃♀️ after his last class tomorrow morning ☀, instead of tonight. Late afternoon tomorrow?
That was lame, Gabe had been hoping that Cas would be there soon- that way he wasn't alone in watching their family argue and fight over every little thing. He looked up again to check for blood. Thankfully there didn't seem to be any, but Luci was sitting on Michael and trying to tie him up with the now-untangled Christmas lights. He debated trying to help one of them, but his phone buzzed three more times in quick succession
He was going to skip class 🏛, but now he has a test 📄💯. So he has to go to his class. Which is why we had planned to leave tonight. But now can't🙅♂️. Because of the test that he now has.
The teacher told his class. In an email 📧, that they had a test. That way no one skipped class a day early. It is a very normal thing to do 😎.
Because students skip class before the holidays 🎄🎅. So the professor wanted to make sure that no one did. So now Dean can't skip class 😢. So we'll leave tomorrow. After class. That he can't skip. ⛔
Oh there was something going on. Castiel, even through text, over explained everything when there was a problem. There were also significantly less emojis than normal. Hopefully it was just Cas being nervous about bringing his boyfriend to meet his family. Christmas was the one time a year that his father's side all got together to celebrate and try to figure out who was related to who (at this point their father, Chuck, had so many baby mamas that some of them were also cousins as well as half siblings, and honestly de-tangling the clusterfuck of a family tree while drunk was one of the most fun things to do). Everyone had their favorite siblings- either from having two matching parents or their mothers being close friends- but this was the one time when it was the whole family. Well, other than Chuck- who only showed up some years. And even that was happening less and less. He'd always just send messages along with one of the older siblings.
He sent back a few emojis (thumbs up, question mark, dancing lady) and a gif (Sure Jan) and got up to stop Anna from actually choking out Uriel (when did he get here?). It'd be an eventful Christmas at least.
—
Gabe was sitting outside, bundled up to strive off the cold. It was better than being inside; Michael and Raphael had started an argument over who dad's favorite was (the answer was Lucifer, it always had been, why was this still an argument?). When he left the house, words had been flying, but it wasn't going to be long before plates and cups started flying as well. It always ended up like this- with yelling, screaming, glass breaking, and even fists flying. He wasn't sure why he still even came to Christmas. He really should just start talking to the few siblings he liked more. That'd be better for his health in the long run. Maybe this year he'd get a few siblings on his side and they could have their own Christmas party- one that didn't involve blood, more blood, and tears.
He listened for the sounds of glass breaking in the house behind him, but all he heard was an engine- a loud one- approaching. He watched as a large black beast of a car came up the road. The driver not going nearly as fast as Gabe had expected someone in that kind of car to be going. He kind of thought that all mid-life-crisis havers drove fast in their compensation cars. What was the point in having them otherwise? His dad was probably gonna buy one any day now, try to relive the glory days of knocking up someone every other day.
Maybe it was Chuck. The car wasn't turning and was getting closer. Then it pulled in the driveway. Huh, He didn't think Chuck would show up- and if he did not this early. He was honestly shocked when Cas climbed out of the passenger side. Huh. When Cas had said his boyfriend had a nice car, he'd clearly meant it. He got up to meet Cas half way- when out stepped the boyfriend and. Oh. Holy shit did Cas hit the jackpot with that one.
He was tall. Like, tall tall. Castiel looked short next to him, but he would absolutely dwarf Gabriel. Looking at those arms, he could probably lift Gabe too. Right off the floor and maybe against the wall. Dean was, apparently, an absolute moose of a man. One that he wanted to climb like a later and drink like a starving man. Or however it went. His eyes passed over broad shoulders covered in flannel and trailed up to a handsome face that was surrounded by hair. He looked a little nervous- anxious maybe. It wasn't the worst look for him. And Oh, that was nice long hair that would great around his fingers. He could just see himself tugging at it, maybe while on top of-
His brother's boyfriend. Oh. Right. This was Dean. The one that Castiel was crazy about. Completely off limits. Forever- even if they broke up Gabriel couldn't do that to his brother. He'd forget all about the handsome moose. Lock that attraction away. Plus, if he was perfect for Cas, that meant he'd be awful for Gabriel.
With a shake of his head, he hopped off the porch to approach the couple. "Wow, Cassie. that's a fine piece of ass you got there." Being obnoxious would help make Dean dislike him. It worked with Kali and all his other relationships.
Dean snorted, instead of being annoyed. Gabe watched in fascination as Dean's eyes brightened for a split second. Instead of the nervousness that had been in them, they lit up with mirth and, if he wasn't mistaken, a touch of mischief. Oh, Gabe was gonna have a rough Christmas trying not to fall for this guy. Why the fuck did Cas bring home someone that was just his type. He grinned at Dean, who fucking winked at him.
Cas elbowed Dean in the side, "This is Dean." he said with the emphasis on the wrong word. Cas hadn't done that in years, he must also be nervous about this meeting. He hoped that his brother couldn't tell he was crushing on his boyfriend. That'd be an awkward conversation- more so than most Christmases.
Dean spoke in a very exaggerated low voice, "Yeah. That's me. Dean." It sounded like he was making fun of Cas' voice more than anything. Like Cas spoke too deep and Dean was trying to match…but making a joke about it. He'd been in relationships like that before- playful teasing. God the sex had been great there. Not that he should be thinking of his brother's boyfriend and amazing sex at the same time. Nope. Not at all.
Cas looked pissed. "I am sorry about him. He sometimes does voices when he's nervous. Which he is." Cas growled out. "Because he wants to make a good impression with my family. Because it's very important to me."
Dean just rolled his eyes, but his voice did go back to a normal register. "Yeah, fine, sorry. I"m Dean Winchester." He gave Cas an unreadable look. Then he looked back at Gabriel. "I like my car too much- like, in a weird way. I'll eat literally anything you put in front of me and have an obsession with pie. Hope that's okay with your family." The man's hazel eyes darted over to watch Cas' face get grumpier. Poor Dean was just trying to lighten the tension. It was just like Cas to have a funny guy and get annoyed. Gabe would play along.
"You'll eat anything, huh? I'm sure I've got something for you to suck on, somewhere around here." Okay, so maybe he was going to flirt instead of just playing along, but hey, that was just who he was. He reached towards the front of his pants.
"Gabriel!" Cas chastised him.
He grinned, grabbing a wrapped candy out of his pocket, trying to project as much innocence as he could. "What? I was just gonna offer Dean something sweet." He held it out. "Like he said, I'm Gabriel- I've got a little bakery-candy-shop thing."
Dean took the candy and gave Gabe a once over. "If it's anything like you, I"m sure it's tasty."
Gabe didn't always think before he spoke. "You're welcome to try me any time you want, hot stuff."
Before Dean could say anything else, Castiel reminded them that he was there. "Excuse us, Gabriel. We should get inside. Come on Dean." And with that Cas grabbed his boyfriend by the wrist and started dragging him inside in a hurry. Oh, Dean was gonna be in trouble. Which…might have been fair. The way that Castiel had described his boyfriend had made him sound devoted and loving. Dean…well, he was charming and pretty and flirty, but hadn't seemed as intrested in making Cassie happy.
As he watched them leave, he had one thought:
If he hadn't already been way too into his brother's boyfriend then that ass would have sealed the deal. Hot stuff was right.
—
Dinner that night was…an event. Normally big holiday dinners went the same way. It started with a fake calm, then devolved into madness due to some family drama. It was never the same thing twice. Once it was Zachariah getting caught doing some kind of insider trading. One year it had been Anna yelling that dad hated them all and just collected them to say he had kids. Most years it was whatever twin nonsense and drama Michael and Lucifer were having that year (and holy fuck some of it had been weird).
This year, however, all eyes were on Dean and Castiel. The two awkwardly sat next to each other while everyone asked Dean questions.
"So, no family to spend the holiday with?" Innocent little Samandriel, not yet bitter at the world. Unaware that might not have been the best question to ask. Young enough not to realize that not everyone had way too many half sliblings.
Dean hesitated for a moment, "not really? My brother's busy this year and we're…not close to our dad anymore."
Several sets of eyes roamed over Dean, "That brother of yours single?" Anna had interest in her eyes. And honestly, Gabriel couldn't blame her. If the brother looked anything like Dean- then he'd also be hot.
It was Cas who answered, not-quite slamming his hands on the table. "He's not." While a frown was Castiel's default expression, this one felt actually angry. There was a note in his voice that spoke of a history. There must have been some kind of drama there. Dean looked at him and clearly kicked him under the table. Cas cleared his throat. "Sorry. Dean is just very protective of his brother and it has rubbed off on me."
Zachariah then cleared his throat, and this was gonna fucking suck. "Castiel said you're studying literature," and the stuck up dick said the world literature like it was trash. "Do you like being as poor as you dress?"
Dean didn't even take a moment, "are you as divorced as you look?" For the first time there was quiet. Zachariah went red with anger. He was gearing up to yell and Dean looked like he was gonna match. Castiel looked uncomfortable.
"What's your favorite book?" Their sister, Hannah, asked desperately- trying to be a peace keeper. Or at least trying to make sure that the cops weren't going to get called this year.
Dean got a look of panic on his face and clearly blurted out the first thing that came to mind, "Busty Asian Beauties." He then realized what he said and stuttered. "I mean. Not that. I. Uh." He fluttered for a moment before he had a better answer. "The Sirens of Titan. I love a good siren. You know. Hot bird women."
"He's joking. Dean does that. Makes jokes. A lot." Castiel said quickly. "He's writing his graduate thesis on Vonnegut's use of free will, choice, destiny, and how it connects and contrasts with religious texts from various countries. It's about using science fiction to help understand and dissect religion and religious psychosis. He knows that The Sirens of Titan is not about bird women." Castiel was glaring at Dean now- he must have liked porn better than real literature. There was no way this was a new fight.
"What'd you think of the Kamasutra?" Gabe butt in. As much as he loved Cas, it was still fun to rile him up. And watching the more conservative members of the family get red was so much fun.
Dean also didn't think before talking, it seemed. "Gotta say, I really liked the positions with height differences. Pretty helpful." And he sure did look Gabriel right in the eye as he said it. The other man wet his lips with his tongue, and hoo boy, what was Gabe supposed to do other than return the serve? (Be a good brother, that's what he should have done).
"Well, I am pretty big," he told Gabriel. Then he winked again, "Tall, I mean. I'm pretty tall." Oh Dean knew what he was doing. His saucy little hints.
"You'll have to show me." He didn't notice the entire table freeze at his and Dean's flirting. "I'm pretty open to…tall." He wondered if Dean was proportional down there. He could already feel the stretch. "I'm also bendy, if that helps. I find it helps a lot with sex."
They were interrupted by Cas standing up, his chair thrown to the ground with how fast he did. He didn't even say anything before storming off- probably rightly so. Dean looked away from Gabriel and winced.
"I, ah, should. Yeah." He stood up and went after his upset boyfriend. Oops. Gabriel probably shouldn't have started shit.
It took him a moment to realize everyone was looking at him. Some with glee and others with disappointment. And yeah, hitting on his brother's boyfriend was probably kind of shitty. "What?" Maybe if he played dumb then things would be okay.
Michael snorted, "I didn't think this year's drama was going to be you trying to sleep with Castiel's boyfriend."
He frowned, "I'm just playing around. I wouldn't do that to Cas."
"Can I?" Lucifer asked. "I gotta say, I wouldn't mind being inside that body."
Chaos descended on the table, with most of the siblings ranking Dean on their personal 'would' charts, Uriel calling them all disgusting sinners, and Gabriel feeling guilty about what he did. Fuck.
—
He watched as Dean snuck out of Castiel's room that night. Gabriel had been up to make a midnight milkshake. It was another thing that didn't add up. The rest of the day had been odd. He'd tried to apologize to Castiel and Dean- but then things got weird.
After Castiel had left the room, Dean had said he went too far. He shouldn't have been flirting, but then he got close. Gabriel had wanted the kiss he felt was going to happen. He wanted so badly to kiss Dean and get to know him better. The edge and slight pettiness that were under the surface were so interesting to him. This felt like someone that would not only go along with Gabriel's plots and schemes- but want to participate. But he had to pull away. He'd already hurt his (favorite) brother badly with what he pulled at dinner.
But…
Between Dean flirting with him, almost kissing him earlier, and how awkward him and Cas were around each other- it was starting to paint a pretty bad picture for his brother.
He followed after Dean, wondering what was actually going on. It was possible that this was a craigslist thing. Hiring someone for Christmas so he didn't have to show up without a boyfriend. That didn't feel right, however. The way that Castiel had been going off about Dean made him seem so real. He could hear the affection in his brother's voice when he'd talked about Dean. And while they seemed awkward together as a couple, the two clearly liked each other as friends. Even when Dean had been making jokes and picking on Cas, there had been some affection there.
Maybe there never was a Dean and Castiel was having a breakdown. So one of his friends stood in so no one would know? That'd suck. A lot. Hallucinating a boyfriend was probably a step above paying a guy on the 'oh fuck' scale.
He followed after Dean, stopping him before he could make his way to the couch- probably to sleep on. He stopped the tall man in the doorway.
"Hey there, handsome. What'd you do to get banished to the couch? It wasn't me at dinner, was it?" And boy did Dean look sheepish.
"Uh. No. I kick." That was clearly a load of bullshit. It must have shown on his face, because Dean went on. "And I steal the covers?"
He rolled his eyes, "Well, there is a lot of you." He might as well play along.
Dean nodded, giving him another once over. "Really sharing the bed with someone smaller would probably be easier." There was heat behind the tall man's eyes and that wasn't fair. He was trying to be a good brother. They'd had their almost kiss earlier. He threw his head back, hoping that not looking would make him stronger. And there he saw it.
Mistletoe.
Just hanging above the doorframe. Just sitting there like a sign. And you know what, he was fucking taking it. He had enough- if Dean wanted this so badly, then Gabe would give it to him. He rose up on his toes and grabbed Dean's shirt to pull him into a hard kiss.
Dean gripped him back, pushing him towards the door frame. And hells yeah, he was right about Dean being strong enough to push him against the wall and hold him there. The taller man was aggressive- licking into his mouth and biting at his lips. It was possibly the filthiest first kiss Gabe had ever had. And that, that was saying something.
He pulled back to kiss at Dean's throat- reaching up to tug at the long hair that had been driving him crazy. He gave it a tug to give himself more access to the other man's throat. Dean gasped.
"Like that?" He asked before going back to nibbling at Dean's pulse point. The other gave a grunt of approval. He was gonna look so good covered in bruises and love bites.
"Wanted this," the other said, breathless. "Since I first saw you." And Gabe had to agree by kissing back up and catching Dean's lips again. He had control for less than a second before Dean took over again, pinning him in place with nothing but hands and lips. And what was he supposed to do but let his hands wander downwards towards to see if Dean was as big as he was tall.
Hips rolled into his hand, and yeah, it seemed like he was pretty big. He wanted that too- if he was going to hell he might as well go limping. While trying to find the words to invite the moose to bed, he groaned the other man's name.
And that's when Dean pulled away completely. Standing close enough to touch, but no longer sharing the same air. Dean must have realized what was happening- that he was cheating on Cas with his own brother. In the living room at the family Christmas party. And fuck. Gabe shouldn't have started this. He should have been the good brother and not go after a taken man. But…fuck…
Dean's hazel eyes were half open and his lips swollen and red. Gabriel wanted to lean back in- wanted to eat the other man starting with his mouth and ending where the sun don't shine. He wanted so badly to devour the other man, maybe for more than just a night. He wanted this man badly. He wasn't sure he'd wanted anyone more.
It was too bad he had to be a good brother, instead of selfish. He pushed Dean away.
"We-" he moved his eyes away from the moose of a man to try to make this easier. "We can't do this." He wished someone else had brought Dean home- he wouldn't feel bad stealing his other siblings' boyfriend- but the way Cas had talked about Dean…he couldn't do that to him. "Look. I do like you, but so does Cas. Man, he really likes you. Like, stars in his eyes over the moon likes you." He had all the proof on his phone just how into Dean his brother was. He'd have to write this off as psychosis. Never tell Cas and let the two of them be happy. "If you're not that into him, that's fine. But you gotta tell him that. And I shouldn't be encouraging this," he said waving a hand between the two of them. "As much as I want to. And fuck, I want to."
Dean looked conflicted for a moment before mumbling, "oh fuck it." The taller man cleared his throat. "I want to, too. And I swear there's an expiation to this- it's so stupid, but to start with my name's actually Sam and I'm not dating your brother." Dean- no, Sam didn't look ashamed or bashful. He just looked a little done and a touch hopeful. Like pretending to be some guy named Dean for Cas' family was a chore to be done and not something slightly insane. It made Gabe's heart skip a beat. Possibly available and willing to do something completely insane? Be still his beating heart.
However, there were some mixed feelings about this revelation. That meant that Sam was, in theory, single and free to mingle. But it still left questions about what was going on with his brother. And his not boyfriend. And the possibly fake boyfriend he had been going off about for months. "Right. So, Sammy," and Sam winced. Okay, that was a no go. "Samsquatch, is Dean like, a made up boyfriend? Because the way Cas talks doesn't seem like he's made up. Is it like, Cas is hallucinating a boyfriend and you didn't want us to think he was nuts?"
Sam shook his head with a laugh, "Nah. Nothing like that." He ran a large hand through messy hair, and boy did Gabe want his fingers back in there. "Dean's real. He's my brother. And him and Cas are disgustingly into each other. I wanna puke every time I see them it's so bad."
Huh, that was good to hear. That Cas did have someone that was just as into him. Nice to know his brother wasn't off his rocker. Or inventing boyfriends. "So why are you here?"
"They're both idiots?" Sam suggested with a shrug. "Dean was supposed to be here- but he got forced into some kind of conference in another state, or something. Apparently it comes with a good chance of a job after he graduates so he really couldn't say no. Cas thought no one would believe that, so asked if I'd pretend to be my brother so no one would think he was making up a boyfriend."
Gabe blinked. That was…honestly probably something most of the family would believe. That Cas made up some kind of life to impress them. Most of the family didn't think highly of Castiel or his mother, so it did make sense, in a way. "I have so many questions," he said. Because oh boy did he have questions. Sam nodded for him to continue. "What were they planning on doing next time Cas had some family thing? Just keep bringing you?"
Sam's face broke into a grin. "Part of the reason I said yes is because I want to see what they're gonna do next time. Dean and I don't look much alike, and I gotta know what happens next time." He chuckled. "My bet's on Cas just playing dumb and pretending he has no idea what they're talking about. Dean thinks that Cas is gonna pretend he's a different guy also named Dean Winchester". Gabe could see Cas doing either of those- he hoped it was the first one. He'd love to watch everyone else fight about being gaslit by Castiel. Everyone trying to convince themselves that this was the same guy while Castiel stood straight faced and lied to everyone about it. That'd be so fucking funny. And speaking of fucking…if this wasn't his brother's boyfriend then it was fair game.
"So you had nothing to do? No special someone to hang out with during the holiday? You could just drop everything and pretend to be your brother?"
"My plans fell through, " Sam said. "I was gonna go on a trip with some friends of mine- but there was some drama with two of my ex's hooking up and maybe murdering someone or selling drugs- I'm not sure which one? Brady and Ruby are…well, either way the trip didn't happen." He shrugged, as if that was normal. And yeah, Gabriel loved the nonchalant attitude to insanity. Sam was looking even more perfect to him. Sam stepped back into his space so they were just passing air between them. "To answer your actual question, I'm single and interested."
Gabriel grinned, that was the best news he'd heard all day. "Well Merry Christmas to me. And hopefully a very happy ending…to the year." He stretched up to peck Sam's lips. And it was so nice to be able to do so without feeling guilty. "You know, Sam, we've been under the mistletoe for awhile. I think that means we gotta Australian kiss.'
Sam leaned down to make it easier to keep up the short kisses. "I feel like I'm gonna regret asking. But what's an Australian kiss?" He mumbled against Gabe's lips.
He had to fight back a smirk. "It's like a French kiss, but down under," he said in his best Australian accent. It wasn't great, but Sam was trying not to laugh, so who was really winning here. That's right. Him.
"I don't think mistletoe rimjobs are a thing, Gabe." And yet Sam was still smiling.
"Not with that attitude," he said as he ran a finger up Sam's covered chest. Sam laughed.
"Well, I guess new traditions are what Christmas is about." Then he kissed Gabe again, hot and filthy.
They really did have a Merry Christmas and a Happy Ending…to the year.