Chapter Text
There is only one bed.
Normally, this should not be any cause for concern, and to be honest Ochako still isn’t quite sure why it is this time; she and Himiko have shared a bed plenty of times before with no issue. But for whatever reason, Himiko has been acting strangely ever since they postponed their road trip because of the thunderstorms that had struck so suddenly two weeks ago. Ochako isn’t sure whether it’s the thunderstorms that have her girlfriend on edge or if it’s something else, but she’s determined to not let it ruin the trip that they’ve been planning ever since they got their internships last summer.
Somehow, the distance between them feels even smaller than the time when they fell asleep together on the tiny twin bed in Himiko’s dorm room in their first year at UA university. Despite the fact that this king-sized bed is at least twice as large, despite the foot and a half of mattress that physically separates them, Ochako can feel every uneasy restless shift from Himiko.
All she wants to do is reach out and hold Himiko, yet Ochako knows that this is not what her girlfriend needs right now, and all she can do is watch helplessly, the space between them feeling like a chasm she cannot cross.
The next night is no different. During the day, Ochako can almost let herself be lulled into a false sense of security, can almost believe that all is well with her girlfriend again save for the slight tint of paleness that Himiko has managed to mostly hide with her concealer and blush. But after a fully packed schedule, after they’ve hit the art museum and the ice cream making session and the butterfly gardens and the absolutely scrumptious hotel buffet dinner- the moment they get back to their hotel room and start getting ready for bed again, it’s like a switch has been flipped.
Initially, Ochako falls asleep quickly enough, but Himiko’s tossing and turning rouses Ochako soon, and she ends up remaining awake long after Himiko finally drifts off, scrolling through internet remedies for sudden-onset insomnia.
“Diagnosis of the Underlying Causes, step 1: determine if any physical changes have occurred in the last few days. Dark circles and paleness are common signs of lack of sleep; however, if anything unusual is visible, monitor closely, as this may be a sign of something more serious.”
Crawling out of bed carefully so as to not disturb her girlfriend’s hard-won sleep, Ochako makes her way around to Himiko’s side, taking in the way the moonlight reflects off her features, making her face look unusually pale and her lips a dark red.
That’s strange. Didn’t Himi wipe off all her makeup already before going to bed?
The contrast is striking, and if not for the obvious health concern that the paleness poses, Ochako might even say it suits Himiko, makes her look even prettier like this.
It’s then that Himiko shifts, rolls over onto her back, her breathing still uneven and her eyes moving rapidly beneath closed eyelids. Her lips part ever so slightly, bringing Ochako’s attention to how chapped they are; she makes a mental note to buy more of that pomegranate chapstick Himiko likes. She’s about to return to her side of the bed and do her best to get some sleep when-
“Hungry,” Himiko whispers, and Ochako’s head whips around, thinking she’s misheard until Himiko continues, “need… please…”
Himiko isn’t thrashing the way she usually does during a nightmare; instead, Ochako realizes, she’s shaking. Trembling.
Ochako’s heart clenches. What can I do…
She types into the search bar, “paleness, restless sleep, darkened lips, hunger?” and presses enter, but the search results that Google yields are unhelpfully inconclusive.
Himiko, please… let me help you, please give me a sign, anything…
Until the sun creeps up and filters through the crack in the hotel room’s curtains, Himiko drifts in and out of restlessness yet does not wake. Meanwhile, Ochako drifts in and out of microsleeps as her mind and body grow weary from the day’s excitement and the night’s worries, yet she does not manage to get any real rest for the remainder of the night.
The third day is no different than the previous two, except it is.
The exhaustion from the previous nights is finally making its mark on Himiko’s usually boundless energy, and the paleness is ever more apparent even through the thick makeup. A few times at the amusement park, Himiko seems to be overtaken by a bout of lightheadedness as she drops onto a bench with her head in her hands right after they exit a particularly fast ride. Ochako ends up making the decision to call it a day and skip the rest of their itinerary, save for a short detour to the supermarket except the candlelit dinner at the Italian restaurant she’d booked several weeks in advance, hoping that the hearty meal will at least lift her girlfriend’s mood. And it does—for an hour, as Himiko digs into the panko butterfly shrimp and the penne alla vodka and the creme brulee, Ochako watches in budding relief as the fake, forced smile slowly becomes replaced with a hint of that bright and genuine grin she’d grown to love.
“I’m so full, ‘Chako,” Himiko giggles as they make their way down the winding hallways of their hotel. “You really spoiled me, you know.”
Ochako can’t stop the grin of her own her mouth curves into. “Maybe.” Perhaps it is true, that Ochako would never have picked such an extravagant restaurant if she’d been alone, that she would never have ordered a full three course meal for herself. But Himiko is so worth it, and she’d do it in a heartbeat just to see the look of happiness on her girlfriend’s face.
“Feeling better?” Ochako asks softly, carefully. “I know you haven’t been getting much sleep lately.”
In all of a moment, Himiko’s expression shutters, her previously unguarded smile faltering slightly as she hesitates for a millisecond. Ochako is struck with the sinking feeling that she’s said something very wrong, that something is very wrong, because on any other day or any other week Himiko might have cooed over her for caring, or even brushed it off lightly, but never has this been the reaction Ochako received.
They reach their room and Ochako swipes the key card in silence, the air between them having shifted into something heavier. Almost immediately, Himiko drops her purse and jacket on their freshly-made bed and ducks into the bathroom with something clenched in her hand, tossing out apologies that Ochako isn’t sure what to do with as she’s left standing by the door, still hanging up her own coat. After the toilet finally flushes not once but twice and the sink’s faucet is left running for what feels like an eternity, Himiko finally comes out, looking… exactly the same. But- no. Is it Ochako’s imagination, or is that a smear of lipstick on the corner of her mouth? That certainly hadn’t been there when they left the restaurant.
“I’m gonna go to bed, get some rest,” Himiko mumbles, picking up her jacket from where she’d thrown it and tucking it onto a hanger as well. As she brushes past Ochako on her way back to the bed, their arms briefly brush, and Himiko seems to jolt before remembering where she is. “Sorry,” she mutters, “I think I’m just… really tired.” She wraps her arms around herself. “You were right, I haven’t been getting much sleep—it’s just that time of the month. Blood deficiency, and all.”
Ochako nods sympathetically, understanding dawning on her. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that sooner. Himiko’s periods always. “Ah, makes sense. I hope you feel better—do you need anything? Advil? Iron supplements?”
Himiko ducks her head slightly at the last one. “Supplements would be great, actually.”
Ochako rummages through her purse for the bag that she always keeps in there, pulling it out to find that-
It’s empty.
“Ah.” Undeterred, she crosses the room, snatching up her phone and Googling directions to the nearest pharmacy.
“It’s- it’s okay, don’t worry about it,” Himiko starts to say, but Ochako is already on her way out the door.