Chapter Text
It shouldn't have come as a surprise to Mike that the one who pointed out his life was going absolutely nowhere was Will. In the most gentle and kind way possible. It almost didn't sting. Besides the fact that Mike was completely mortified and would've preferred being thrown off the Squawk radio tower.
"Hey, Mike," Will knocked on the slightly ajar door to Mike's room. Still in his parent's house. "Can we talk?"
Something in the tone of his voice told Mike that it would be less embarrassing to hear this somewhere without his poster of a buff green monster in the background.
The house was empty, which happened much more often these days with Holly busy with school and his mom finally getting involved with a group of women running for town council seats. Mike's part time job kept him within the walls of the house longer than any other family member.
He hoped Will didn't pick up on that.
"Coffee?" Mike asked, working hard on keeping his demeanor casual. He hadn't realized over the recent years when did it become increasingly more difficult to have his friends' probing eyes on him. But with Will, well, it hadn't been easy to be the undivided center of his attention for more than a decade, no matter how much Mike craved it.
"Tea, actually," Will smiled sheepishly.
Mike couldn't fight the returning smile tugging at his lips. It had always been like that, Will smiles - Mike smiles, Will pouts - Mike pouts, Will cries - Mike wants to shoot himself.
"I thought New York was all about coffee," Mike replied instead of focusing on the tug in his stomach at the way dawn light spilling through the kitchen windows formed a halo above Will's head.
"You know me, always the rebel."
It was obvious from the easy way he said it, Will hadn't meant a thing by it, but Mike had to swallow past a clump in his throat nonetheless. The Will in front of him, with the newfound comfortableness in tight jeans, a ring in his ear, easy unrestrained smile and bolder air around him - how much did Mike know about him? Not enough, not as much as he wanted to know. This new Will that had gradually formed over the years away, had been no less warm or precious, but there had been undeniable danger to him. Intoxicating and oh so enticing.
Mike was nervous in his presence.
"Is everything alright?" Will asked behind him when Mike didn't reply. It was a habit he never unlearned after that talk before the final battle. He had been incredibly attentive to any mood changes in Mike, a question always ready on his lips. At first Mike thought it was about El, and it probably was for a long time, but gradually Mike came to realize that Will was asking if Mike was alright with him. With who Will was. With the new changes. With the things between them.
It broke Mike a little bit more every time he asked. Yet there was nothing he could do about it - he'd be paying for certain things he said and did for a long time. Mike would prefer to beg Will to forgive him on his knees but that would most certainly scare Will even more.
So, "Everything's fine," and a reassuring smile was all that was left for Mike.
He set the cups on the table, and there was not a thing left he could do to postpone the conversation. They had covered the small talk over the course of the weekend after Erica's graduation. Will was waiting for Lucas to pick him up and drive him and Dustin to the airport, so whatever he needed to say - he wanted a quick and very polite escape route.
Maybe he had finally realized that he wanted nothing to do with Mike.
Mike searched Will's face, hoping to see the clues of incoming announcements so that he could brace himself for it.
Will bit his lip nervously, also busy with studying Mike's face.
Mike was the first to avert his eyes, as always.
"Are you happy?"
The bomb going off in his living room would've been quieter than all the unsaid implications ringing in Mike's head after hearing Will ask it in that unbearably cute voice of his.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for asking, it sounds so horrible," Will began rambling. "I know the last few years were difficult. With Jane dying… It must have been hell. And I just want you to know that there is nothing wrong with the way you deal with it. You had it the worst."
Will meant it sincerely. He let Mike feel like he had the most right to this pain, like Will hadn't also lost a sister. Like Hopper didn't lose his daughter. Like it was okay for Mike to cling to it while the rest of them managed to deal with it while building their lives.
"I'm just worried that you’re-" wasting your life “-not aware that you deserve the good things in life. Like everybody else. That you're still punishing yourself, when it wasn't even your fault."
"I am not punishing myself. Just because I didn't go to college like you or Dustin, doesn't mean-" Mike cut himself off, realizing that he sounded like a prick.
"It's not about college." Will's voice gone quieter. "Do you think I would ever judge your choices? If you wanted the life you have, I would never tell you a thing. It's just…" Will visibly braced himself. "When was the last time you wrote, Mike?"
There was nothing Mike could say to him. The mortification rendered him speechless.
Will's eyes welled up with tears as he spoke, "I'm worried you're not happy. And not even trying to be."
Mike could tell Will was as scared to bring it up, as Mike was to hear it. Maybe Mike needed to hear it, but did it have to come from Will? From the person Mike couldn't stand to appear pathetic to.
He knew it was unfair, this anger that rose in him. But he couldn't help it. When their eyes locked, Will flinched.
Yet he didn't avoid Mike's glare, taking it all on.
Will was less scared than Mike was.
Before Mike could say something - be it something to irreversibly damage their friendship or something to let Will know how grateful Mike was for Will not abandoning him to his misery - the car honked from the driveway. Lucas may have been a morning person, but nobody was a five-in-the-morning person.
"You should be going," Mike said to Will, his voice flat.
Will held his gaze for another beat before nodding and getting up from the table.
He turned around at the door, his mouth open to say something, hands clutching the suitcase and his backpack.
In turn, Mike just stood in the corridor like a clump of jelly.
He imagined that being the way Will would picture him now when he thought of him and it made him nauseous.
Mike took a step forward, hesitantly raising his arms to fit them around Will's torso. Will dropped the bags immediately, wrapping himself around Mike, exorcising part of the primal fear settled deep within Mike that there would be a day when Will would completely avoid his touch, too disgusted by him.
"I'm sorry," Mike mumbled quietly somewhere into Will's soft hair that smelled faintly like peach.
He had no clue what he was apologizing for but Will had tightened his hold on him so Mike was tempted to apologize again and see what it would get him.
"It'll be alright," said Will.
Mike didn't know how true that statement was, but for the first time in five years he felt that maybe there was something he could do about it.
***
Mike firmly ignored the obvious relief in his family's faces when he told them he was going to enroll in fall classes at community college.
"Writing? How will you earn money with that artsy crap?" His dad pressed his lips, but Mom swatted him on the head.
"It's fantastic, honey," she smiled warmly at Mike. "We will support you."
Nancy just tapped her cigarette on an ashtray and said, "About damn time."
There was that.
All that was left was finding a place to live.
Nobody batted an eyelid when Mike chose New York. It was after all where his sister lived and two of his best friends were about to begin their senior year in college - it was a natural choice. A natural choice that coincided with the city where Will lived. Spent his days in coffee shops that Mike could frequent. It was more than enough for Mike, as long as he could upgrade from seeing Will on holidays and rare events to something more frequent.
Of course, it didn't hurt that the NYU professor Mike had obsessively stalked over the summer, ambushing him several times with batches of his older short stories, told Mike that his writing wasn't the worst thing he'd ever seen in his life and if Mike did well in the fall semester, they could talk about his transfer.
Mike could almost see it as its own amazing thing, as long as he could stop salivating at the distant idea of spending an entire semester in the same college as Will.
"Why don't you move in together with Will and Dustin?" Nancy asked like it wasn't the biggest of big deals.
"I thought they only had three rooms," Mike answered nonchalantly, fully praying for Nancy to say that Mike should share the room with Will. Mike would just have to agree for practicality reasons, wouldn't he?
Weirdly, Nancy blushed a bit. "Yeah, about that. Jonathan and I might be moving in together."
If she expected gasps, she had wildly miscalculated how secretive Jon and she were about their rekindled relationship. Mike just stared at her, so Nancy was forced to clear her throat and continue, obviously annoyed at the lukewarm reaction. "You can take Jonathan's room. I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem."
Well, it wasn't as exciting as sharing the room with Will, but damn Mike if it still wasn't the best idea he'd heard all summer.
He really didn't think it would be a problem. Not until he was seated across from Will and Dustin in a cute but shabby downtown Brooklyn cafe. It was a brief moment of panic on Will's face and a concerned one on Dustin's but Mike felt the heat of embarrassment rising and engulfing him whole. Had he been wrong about Dustin and Will wanting to spend more time with him?
"Uhm, yeah, man, of course," Dustin smiled and Mike wanted to shoot himself.
Will handled the lying much better. "We would love to have you," he said gently. Mike almost believed him.
Mike was already contemplating how he could sell it off as a joke when Will said that he needed another tea before getting up from the couch and leaving his full cup on the table behind him. He and Dustin exchanged a look and Will disappeared into the adjoining room where the bar was.
"Oh my god, what the hell?" Mike looked at Dustin. "You guys hate the idea that much?"
It hurt more than Mike imagined it would.
"Don't be stupid," Dustin rolled his eyes. "It would be great to have you with us. About time you moved out of Hawkins and did something with your life."
Well, that actually sounded honest. Mike felt a bit calmer.
"Then what's your deal?"
Dustin squirmed in his seat. "It's Will."
"Will doesn't want me to live with you?" The pain was back with dividends.
Dustin gave him that kind of look that questioned if Mike's IQ had passed the threshold into three-digits. "When did Will ever not want to have you around?"
These kinds of questions scared the living hell out of Mike.
"Then what is it, Dustin?"
Dustin looked around, making sure nobody was in listening range. He leaned in closer to Mike and Mike mirrored his movement. His mind was already coming up with all kinds of reasons, none of them good or reasonable.
"If you live with us, you have to be fine with a few things. Very fine," Dustin enunciated aggressively. "Like not a single fucking eye-twitch level of fine."
Mike swallowed, scared. He nodded.
Dustin studied his face, dragging out the suspense to a torturous extent.
"Will brings home men."
Right.
Mike blinked at Dustin, his mind refusing to process the words.
"Like a lot of men," Dustin continued.
Yet, all Mike could offer him was even more blinking.
"You do understand what I mean by that?" Dustin raised his eyebrows suggestively.
And that somehow clicked the puzzles into place for Mike. The cafe did a spin around him. Mike closed his eyes, trying to even out his suddenly erratic breathing.
"It took him a long time to feel comfortable with himself, and I will not have you move in with us and trample on the hard work he did."
"That's unfair," Mike opened his eyes to glare at Dustin. "You know I'm fine with Will… being Will. I would never do anything to hurt him."
Dustin snorted. "A-ha, sure."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Mike was pissed. "Do you think I'd throw tantrums because Will brings home l-lovers?" It almost seemed like Dustin was inclined to say that was exactly what he imagined. "Come on, we are adults. Will can do anything he wants, I won't say a thing."
It didn't matter how much the mere idea stung. Mike desperately wanted to rub his eyes to get rid of the images that conjured themselves without his permission.
"You say that now, but Will is, uhm, how do I put it," Dustin bit his lip. "Vocal."
Whatever heat of embarrassment or anger had been plaguing Mike, it was nothing compared to the fire that burned out his mind at the immediate fantasy of Will's voice breaking into a drawn-out moan.
Mike crossed his legs. Then cleared his throat. Once, twice. He tried to speak but his mouth was dry. Finally, he managed to mumble again, "All adults here."
"If you say so," replied Dustin with an outright evil expression. He looked to the side, then back to Mike. "So you think you can behave?"
Mike nodded just in time for Will to appear through the doors and join them at the table, putting the exact same cup of tea next to the one growing cold on the table. The same Will who apparently brought men back home who made him scream out in pleasure.
Will smiled up at Mike gently with that familiar crinkle around his eyes, and Mike felt his heart squeeze the life out of him.
"I'm actually so excited to have you live with us," Will said giddily.
"You are?"
Mike hoped it didn't sound as pathetic to them as it did to him.
Will grinned at him. "For sure. I can finally do something about that hair of yours."
Despite himself, Mike laughed out loud, cherishing the taunting.
It was going to be fine. If he could have this Will by his side again, he could take other men having their way with him a thin wall away from Mike. Couldn't he?