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Part 1 of hr + smau + me = this
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anonymous
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2026-01-05
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the rolex guy is gay?

Summary:

Shane and Ilya are outed via fanmail. This is a random user's twitter timeline.

(Or, most people have zero idea who these hockey guys are. Wait? Is that the Rolex guy?)

Notes:

loosely based off a tweet i saw yesterday except now its deleted or the user is on private so i can't link it oops . essentially saying that general public people wouldn't know who tf hollanov is (and this spiraled from there)

link to a quote tweet that was also inspo: https://x.com/blackmagnet0/status/2007913182552293626

(See the end of the work for more notes and other works inspired by this one.)

Work Text:

@sportscenterespn · 2h BREAKING: Montreal Voyageurs captain Shane Hollander appears to be in a relationship with Ottawa Centaurs forward Ilya Rozanov, after footage from a FanMail video showed the two players in an intimate moment. More details to follow.





random person @justvibing123 · 1h wait the rolex ad guy is gay?? good for him??

random person @justvibing123 · 1h it has come to my attention that the rolex guy was outed. sorry guys i didn't know

hockey fan @hockeyluver99 · 1h "rolex guy" do you mean shane hollander, montreal voyageurs captain and winner of the stanley cup THREE times???

random person @justvibing123 · 1h why the fuck would i know about hockey





confused millennial @whatishappening · 58m i know shane hollander from:

  • that reebok ad where he's running on a beach
  • the speedo billboard in times square
  • rose landry's instagram
  • various rolex ads

i did NOT know he played hockey

sports bro @nhltakes · 57m this is actually insane to me. like he's one of the best players in the league

confused millennial @whatishappening · 56m cool! i still only know him because he's hot in advertisements





pop culture enthusiast @popteaspiller · 55m WAIT ROSE LANDRY'S EX BOYFRIEND IS GAY???

entertainment news @entertainmentupdates · 54m They broke up a few years ago 

pop culture enthusiast @popteaspiller · 53m okay but imagine dating someone and then finding out they're gay. i would simply perish

random person @justvibing123 · 52m i mean he was OUTED so like... probably not a fun time for anyone involved





casual observer @casualobserver · 50m my knowledge of shane hollander:

  • hot asian guy in ads
  • dated that actress
  • apparently plays hockey???
  • GAY???

this is a lot of information to process

sports lesbian @sportsqueer · 49m "apparently plays hockey" HE'S ONE OF THE BEST PLAYERS IN THE LEAGUE

casual observer @casualobserver · 48m okay but counterpoint: i don't watch hockey and he's in like 800 advertisements so





fashion girlie @fashionobsessed · 47m not shane hollander being outed i literally only know him from the reebok campaigns this is wild

another fashion girlie @stylewatch · 46m THE SPEEDO ADS. THE ROLEX ADS. THE REEBOK CAMPAIGNS.

fashion girlie @fashionobsessed · 45m exactly!!! i thought he was just a model who happened to play hockey on the side





random person @justvibing123 · 44m okay i googled and this ilya rozanov guy also plays hockey? for a different team? and they're like... enemies?

hockey fan @hockeyluver99 · 43m RIVALS. they've been rivals for over a decade

random person @justvibing123 · 42m that's actually kind of hot ngl





confused millennial @whatishappening · 40m so let me get this straight (pun intended):

  • shane: the guy from all those ads
  • ilya: some other hockey player i've never heard of
  • they play for rival teams
  • they're apparently dating
  • shane was outed

is this correct

sports bro @nhltakes · 39m yes but also ilya is ALSO one of the best players in the league, they've been compared to each other for years, there's literally a documentary about their rivalry

confused millennial @whatishappening · 38m okay that's actually insane. this is like a movie plot





pop culture takes @popculturetea · 37m the fact that shane hollander is trending above ilya rozanov tells you everything you need to know about who the general public actually recognizes

random person @justvibing123 · 36m i literally only know shane because of advertisements i'm sorry

sports bro @nhltakes · 35m this is so frustrating. ilya is an elite athlete

casual observer @casualobserver · 34m okay but did ilya do a speedo campaign? no? then how was i supposed to know who he is





entertainment news @entertainmentupdates · 32m Rose Landry has posted a supportive message for Shane Hollander on her Instagram story. Class act.

pop culture enthusiast @popteaspiller · 31m rose is so gracious i love her

fashion girlie @fashionobsessed · 30m imagine being rose though. your ex gets outed and apparently was with his RIVAL?? the drama





nhl discourse @hockeydiscourse · 28m The way Shane Hollander is more famous for his modeling than his THREE STANLEY CUPS is actually wild

random person @justvibing123 · 27m ok but have you SEEN the man? the reebok campaign? the rolex ads? i don't blame the general public

hockey fan @hockeyluver99 · 26m he's also the only asian player in the league which makes him more recognizable to people who don't follow hockey

casual observer @casualobserver · 25m the only??? in the whole league??? in 2021???

sports lesbian @sportsqueer · 24m yeah it's... not great. hockey has a diversity problem





confused millennial @whatishappening · 22m okay i went down a rabbit hole and apparently there was another hockey player who came out last year? scott something?

ALL UP IN YOUR MIND @blackmagnet0 · 21m scott hunter! he came out by kissing his boyfriend after winning the stanley cup. it was huge news for like 2 weeks

confused millennial @whatishappening · 20m oh yeah i vaguely remember that. but like... i couldn't tell you his name before you said it

ALL UP IN YOUR MIND @blackmagnet0 · 19m exactly! people can't name the first out NFL player off dome either. shane's more famous because of all the sponsorships





random person @justvibing123 · 17m this is reminding me that i literally cannot name a single hockey player except:

  • shane hollander (advertisements)
  • that guy who came out last year (can't remember his name)
  • wayne gretzky (is he still playing? no idea)

sports bro @nhltakes · 16m wayne gretzky retired in 1999

random person @justvibing123 · 15m see this is why i don't watch hockey





casual observer @casualobserver · 14m the thing is shane could have a whole second career just doing modeling if hockey doesn't work out. like the man is EVERYWHERE

fashion girlie @fashionobsessed · 13m reebok, rolex, speedo, and i swear i've seen him in other stuff too

casual observer @casualobserver · 12m yeah! i think he did something for omega? and maybe nike?

hockey fan @hockeyluver99 · 11m this is so surreal. y'all are talking about one of the best hockey players in the world like he's just a model





pop culture enthusiast @popteaspiller · 9m not to be dramatic but i need a full timeline of the shane/ilya situation because the DRAMA

confused millennial @whatishappening · 8m same! like when did this start? how long have they been together? DETAILS

random person @justvibing123 · 7m also like... were they together when he was with rose? because that's messy





entertainment news @entertainmentupdates · 5m Neither Shane Hollander nor Ilya Rozanov have released statements yet. The NHL has declined to comment.

casual observer @casualobserver · 4m "declined to comment" seems like a confirmation tbh

pop culture enthusiast @popteaspiller · 3m i'm dying for a statement. the SUSPENSE





random person @justvibing123 · 2m in conclusion:

  • the rolex guy is gay
  • he's dating some other hockey player
  • they were rivals
  • everyone in hockey apparently knew except me
  • i still only know shane from advertisements

confused millennial @whatishappening · 1m this is the most accurate summary

sports bro @nhltakes · 1m i hate it here