Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Chapter Text
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 6TH, 1993.
Michelle wakes up with a gasp. She quickly sits up in her bed and tries to heave a breath to use from her tired lungs. The screams of the nightmares are drifting slowly from her mind, giving her a quiet sense of ease. Will’s screams. Always Will’s. It’s like she can never escape the fact her best friend went through every horror imaginable and she couldn’t ever see it. She couldn’t save her from anything. It makes her face burn with a fury she hasn’t felt in a long while. Not since everything with Vecna and Max and.. just.. everything.
She turns her head to look at the clock’s time and it shines a bright 7:25 A.M. in her eyes. Shit. She has only 20 fucking minutes to get ready for school. She feels her body go into autopilot immediately, her brain forgetting about what her nightmare was even about as she scrambles to move from her bed. Right as she gets up and starts frantically searching through her closet for clothes to wear, she hears a sharp knock and yell from her sister Nancy behind the door.
“Michelle! I know you aren’t awake yet, so get up!”
Michelle makes a groan that's loud enough for Nancy to hear on purpose. “I know! I know! Jesus…”.
She quickly scans her fingers across her clothes. She knows if she doesn’t wear something at least a little girlish her mom will freak. Deliberating on what she wears she decides to grab her instinctual outfit. Blue sweater, white patterned skirt with her converse. As she basically throws on her clothes, she runs out her bedroom door, hurrying into the bathroom. She hurls herself into her short makeup routine, mascara, lipgloss, etc. She brushes her hair and starts to put it up into something resembling Nancy in her freshmen year. Half of her hair tied back into a nice looking clip. After she’s done, she takes a second to look at herself and make sure there aren't any imperfections. She nods. Okay.. she looks.. decent. Especially for only having 20 minutes, she’s actually proud of herself.
A harsh knocking interrupts her thoughts, “Michelle get out here! You have 5 minutes left!”
“Coming!”
Michelle’s basically a whirlwind that leaves their kitchen in just 3 minutes to run out to Will’s car, who has to drive her to school because Michelle’s been vehemently against getting her license.
“Have a good day!” she hears her mom yell in the distance.
Michelle runs out the door to find Will’s car sitting in the driveway, waiting for her already. She instinctively starts to head for the front passenger seat, but her eyes catch the sight of Elliot sitting in the backseat. What? Isn’t this supposed to be just Michelle and Will? What’s he doing here? She opens the backseat door and climbs in.
“Elliot? What are you doing here?” she says with almost a hint of annoyance.
“I’m here because.. uh Dad wouldn’t drop me off today. Said something about just going to Joyce’s early so he could “spend more time” with her today.” he says quietly in the way he always answers questions.
“Oh.” she catches Will’s reaction to the words, whose face morphed into a grimace.
“Well.. I mean. Okay cool! Yeah.. that’s totally fine. Sorry I was just confused.” She says with a slight laugh. Why is she being so weird about this? It’s just Elliot. Will and Elliot are basically siblings anyways so they are together all the time and constantly in the same car. It’s just odd because it’s a change in routine. That’s all, it’s just a change in routine.
“Alright, can you put your seatbelt on?” Will says not unkindly and with the quiet timber of her voice.
Michelle shifts into gear immediately doing as Will says, grabbing her seatbelt. “Yeah! Sorry! I’ve been all over the place this morning.” She meets Will’s green hazel eyes in the rearview mirror.
Will laughs quietly “Yeah I can tell. You seem.. frazzled.”
Michelle just sighs a laugh in response.
As they arrive at school, the car is quiet. The radio is quietly playing a song Michelle knows Will loves. ‘Good Sister - Bad Sister’ by the band Hole. Michelle really doesn’t understand Will’s obsession with their album Pretty On The Inside but she guesses she has no room to judge Will’s music taste. Michelle turns her head to face the window as they pull up to the parking lot. Will slowly backs into her designated parking spot and Michelle stares. Stares at the way Will has bags underneath her eyes and how her blue puffy jacket seems to swallow her whole. She hopes Will is okay, because it looks like she had a rough night. Though… she’s looked this way for about a month now. But she sees Will didn’t even put mascara on, which is typically her only makeup.
Will looks behind and makes eye contact with Michelle which has her scrambling to look away, which leads her to looking next to her. At her boyfriend. He smiles and she sends a reluctant responding smile back at him. Will just looks tired and sighs out “Well.. I guess we are here now.” Elliot just nods and climbs out of the car while Will turns the car off. Michelle follows in Elliot’s actions and gets out of the car. Will locks the door and immediately the cold Indiana air hits them.
Will quickly wraps her arms up around herself and fast walks inside. “Oh my god it’s cold today.” Elliot snorts. “Im surprised you can even feel the cold especially with how many layers you have on.” Will just makes a side glance at him, and her eyes drift towards Michelle’s. “How are you not freezing? You are wearing a skirt and one sweater.”
Michelle just smiles and does a slight shrug. “I’m just better than you guys I guess. But it’s honestly not that cold.. Are you like okay?” She says with genuine concern. Will just stares at her, like the sudden asking if she’s okay had her mind buffering like one of their school computers. Michelle waits for a response, but as they enter the building, Will’s response is drowned out by the immediate change of noise level from everybody chatting. Elliot then takes her hand and Michelle feels her mind immediately alter to adjust to his behavior. She wraps her hand around his and gives him a smile, but she can feel the clamminess and sweat already starting to form. She wants to pull away so badly, but she knows that if she does it’ll just be awkward and make problems. She also.. doesn’t want Will to notice her doing that. She doesn’t really understand why it matters that Will sees it, but it does matter so.
They walk together as a trio going to Will’s locker where they find 3 other people waiting on them. Lucas, Dustin and Max. They quickly spot the other 3 and start to wave in unison. Will lets out a slight smile as she walks up to her locker. “Hey guys.” Will says soft and gentle. Like she always does. The tenseness of her voice from “the cold” is gone and now only the low soft sound is left. It’s like music to Michelle’s ears to hear it so close to her. She feels lucky to know somebody who is so gentle and kind and.. What the fuck. Stop it.
“Hey!” Lucas answers back way louder and brighter. Dustin also waves a hello, while Max nods. “So why is there a meet and greet at my locker?” Will says sarcastically. “Obviously because everybody is just dying to get inside the infamous Willow Byer’s head duh?” Max snorts. Will lets out a sigh and moves to get into the middle of the group to open her locker.
“Seriously though.. Why are you guys just sitting here?”
“Well because.. We saw somebody.. slip something into your locker.” Dustin grins manically. Will side eyes him and then opens the locker. A note falls out and quickly falls to the floor. Lucas and Dustin make a grab for it before Will’s tired brain can even seem to catch up, which makes Michelle concerned for her. Will’s an extremely anxious person, especially when learning somebody put something in her locker. She’s a fast but quiet person, most of the time people don’t even realize she was there until she left. But Michelle always notices, and that’s why she notices how long it took for Will to even process the fact that the note fell on the ground. By the time Lucas and Dustin had lifted their heads and bodies back up, Will had begun her descent to pick it up.
Lucas and Dustin are like hyenas opening this letter. They immediately start giggling and Max quickly cranes her head and smiles viciously. “Oooooo… somebody’s got an invite to a house tonight.” Max and Lucas simultaneously wiggle their eyebrows. Will frowns slightly and sighs. “Is it another party invite from Chance?” Michelle wishes she could move from her spot but Elliot’s hand feels like it's holding her still. Like she can’t move yet, not until they let go of each other.
Elliot just smiles. “That's so exciting Will! You should totally go this time.” Will just looks away awkwardly. Obviously Will doesn’t want to go, and she never will want to in Michelle’s eyes. “This guy seriously needs to learn how to take no for an answer. You obviously don’t want to go.” Michelle snarks out. Losing control of herself for a moment.
Lucas gives Michelle a look, which she responds to. “What! Will obviously doesn’t want to go and he has no need to even send her anything anymore. He’s being creepy at this point.”
“Ignoring that part, can we talk about this as a chance for all of us to go to a party?” Dustin grins. Elliot’s eyes brighten and so does Lucas. Max has an indifferent reaction towards the party and was more excited about the fact Will has once again another infamous note in her locker. “Will! Come on, we have to go now! This is finally something we can all go to.” Elliot says excitedly.
Michelle finally truly looks at her friend. She takes in her friend's appearance. The eye bags, the frown, the thinness of her face that wasn’t there at the beginning of October. Michelle furrows her eyebrows as she has the opportunity to take in her friend for the first time in a while. She guesses she hasn’t really looked at her. She’s been busy with spending time with her boyfriend. Trying to have fun and live normally, but now all she does is feel concerned about the obvious rapid decline of her best friend. Will’s eyes become shifty as she struggles to form words against the party’s united front. “I.. I guess it’s fine. Maybe just this one time will be okay?”
Michelle starts to shake her head no, but she gets interrupted by the school bell. Indicating their time to leave and go. Elliot finally lets go of her hand and she feels like she can move again. However, by the time that Michelle starts to ask Will about her general okayness, Will’s already gone. Walking away from them towards her class. So Michelle follows suit. Drifting along in the hallways and trying to erase the feeling of Elliot’s hand clamping around hers as she enters her first class of the day.
Chapter 2: Chapter 2
Notes:
hi guys!! just getting into this there will be a slur used in this chapter of the fic! i promise i am a full blown raging lesbian and a nonbinary individual so I'm not just using these slurs free. thats the warning for you guys!
i'm kinda nervy bcs this is my first ever fanfic but i really wanted lesbyler to be written and nobody else seems to be doing it supernaturally so i've taken it into my own hands. i fear i'm not the best writer but im gonna try my best!! tried to make the yearning more yearning in this chapter. it don't matter what gender mike wheeler is, they are all oblivious and dumb in every universe
Chapter Text
As the day goes on, Michelle can’t forget the shiftiness of Will’s eyes. It feels like the image of Will’s messy chin length hair and wavy bangs along with her haunted greenish hazel eyes is following her. All she can see is the way Will has gotten thinner, her eyes becoming massive without the full weight of her cheeks. Will’s eyes have always been the most expressive thing about her and Michelle struggles to forget the dread building up in them. Not just from the future party they are being forced to attend, but also from whatever Will is holding beneath the surface. It seems to be important. It scares Michelle though.
It’s not Will’s fault that she’s been feeling bad, but Michelle doesn’t want anything to change. She wants to try to keep it the same. So.. hopefully whatever Will is feeling isn’t real and just her going through a tough time. Maybe when she gets the chance to talk to Will she’ll be able to help her get back to normal.
Yeah.. normal.
Somehow the end of the night is here and Lucas is already picking her up to get to Chance’s house. She wishes Will would’ve picked her up so she could ask her about what’s happening to her.
As they turn on the street to Chance’s house, they can already hear the booming sound of the song 'I Wanna Sex You Up' by the band Color Me Badd. “Wow, what a good song.” Michelle snarks. Lucas just sighs. “Look I know you aren’t going to like this party, it’s not your atmosphere. Maybe try to have fun though? Like be stupid and live your life as a teenager. Who knows how much longer we will have to be able to go to stupid parties like this.”
She just sighs in response, turning her head to the window as they pull up to the house. She looks out the window to find that yes, her other friends are here already.
She spots Will and almost comes to a full brain stop. There’s Will, dressed in her color, a nice sweet yellow. It’s a nice color on her. It matches her chestnut hair. She's wearing a top with long yellow sleeves with ruffles of white poking out from underneath. Will is also wearing long jeans that are baggy on her form. She’s not wearing a jacket right now which is extremely uncommon for her. She must be cold.
Michelle quickly gets out of the car as they pull up next to their friends. Lucas puts the car in park behind her and flinches at the speed at which Michelle gets out of the car at. She quickly maneuvers over to stand next to Will, who is visibly shaking from the cold. As she looks at Will, she takes notice of the light mascara she has, making her hazel eyes shine underneath the streetlight. She also takes note of some lipgloss and blush.
“Hey Mich.” Will says dulcetly. It sounds like music to Michelle’s ears. “Hey.” Michelle responds breathlessly. “You look.. great! Good, really good. I love the yellow. It always looks nice with your hair.”
Will just nods and Michelle thinks she sees the formation of a red flush starting to form on Will’s cheeks and down her neck. It couldn’t be, because it’s just cold! Yep, just cold. “Thanks..” Will smiles softly.
Max interrupts them by hitting Michelle’s ankle with her cane, which leads to Michelle grabbing her ankle and yelping. Will’s eyes widen and she almost makes a move to help Michelle steady herself, but Elliot makes it before her. “Not gonna say hi to anybody else except for Will?” He jokes behind her ear.
“Yeah Michelle, we know she’s your best friend but come on. No need to make it so obvious. You also have us to thank for the yellow and makeup.” Max laughs slightly, a red flush evident on her face. Max laughs slightly, a red flush evident on her face. Lucas walks up behind her and puts an arm around her and joins in her laughter. Dustin just grins. “Finally! You guys took forever. We can begin the actual party.”
“I have you to thank for the yellow and makeup? You just hit my fucking ankle!” She retorts harshly. "At least Will doesn’t hit me when I don’t say hi to her immediately.” Max scoffs at her “You always say hi to Will immediately, so we don’t know that do we?” Michelle feels her face start to warm out of annoyance. She knows Will would never hit her just because of something like that. What a stupid comparison.
Dustin is getting tired of the outside talk apparently, because he grabs Will by the arm and drags her to the front of the house with the rest of the group following. Dustin shoves Will to the front of them. Will stands there awkwardly staring at some basketball guy who’s staring her down. “Willow Byers? What the fuck are you doing here?”
Will just sighs like she doesn’t know what she’s doing here either. “Look.. I.. We got invited by Chance.” She says holding up her party flyer with a note from Chance that specifically mentions her. The basketball guys just side eye each other and laugh. “Man, that guy needs to learn how to like 'em’. Going for the bulldyke is really abnormal. But, I guess you don’t look too bad right now.” One of the guys says looking at Will.
The party makes equally disgusted faces and Michelle moves to go in front “How about you learn how to fuck off and go blow your dads or some bullshit, assholes.” She grabs Will’s arm and drags her inside, while the guys protest as the other party members follow suit with insults and various amounts of middle fingers.
She looks at Will behind her who is obviously trying to hide her discomfort and the frazzled look behind her eyes. She drags her around for a while until she knows they lost the other party members. Michelle walks back outside towards the pool. She sighs and turns to Will, who turns to look at her. “Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.. It’s fine. I would rather be out here than in there.” Will shrugs towards the party inside. “Thanks by the way, for saying that.”
Michelle shrugs, “He was being a total asshole. It’s nothing we haven’t dealt with before.”
They share a smile.
“Hey so..” Will looks up at her with her big eyes, wide and hazel. She’s always had intense, expressive eyes. It does things to Michelle’s stomach. Having all of Will’s attention always makes her stomach twist and turn. It’s never bad though, she’s just lucky she even has the opportunity to feel like this about Will. After Will went missing, she tried to scrape all the memories of Will together in her brain.
It was like she was missing a limb. Phantom feelings that were still there, but she knew it wasn’t real. It sucked. It was like she was grasping for a truth that wasn’t real. Michelle always feels like she’s drowning but when Will went missing it felt like they were both drowning. She felt like she was trying to swim and grab Will from the water but she was also struggling. Trying. She’s always trying.
It’s never enough though. Not to be able to keep Will close. She never seems to be able to keep her close enough.
“Are you okay?” she asks quietly.
Will stares at her mouth as the question leaves it and then looks up into her eyes. It’s like she’s trying to read Michelle’s mind, trying to untangle all the dark knots that are hidden underneath her hair.
“Yeah.. I’m fine. Do I not seem to be?” Will responds but it’s not convincing enough. There’s nothing legitimately wrong with her answer but Michelle knows better. She sees the way Will’s eyes drift when they are in the full group. The way her eyes become blank and dark. Like she’s not real anymore. Michelle almost takes it like when Will was possessed, but this obviously isn’t the same. It was more like when Will was being haunted by the Mind Flayer the first time, but no possession. It’s scary to see her revert back to being 13 and in hell.
“You just sometimes get this look in your eyes. Like.. you did when you first got back out of the upside down and had those “episodes”? Also you have massive bags underneath your eyes. I mean! You don’t look bad, never, but it concerns me because you know, normally you don’t. I also noticed you don’t eat at lunch anymore, and it’s showing on your face that you don’t eat as much? You’ve just gotten thinner and it makes me really worried about you.” Michelle rambles off explanations about how much she’s noticed and Will just goes silent.
The pool lights in the water light up Will’s face, which makes it even more apparent how.. sick she looks. Makeup can cover up a lot, but nothing can cover up the fact that Will’s eyes are distant. The blush makes her look more alive, but nothing can hide the paleness that has started to settle underneath her skin.
“I’m fine. I’ve just been having trouble sleeping.” Will says gently, as if trying to calm her down.
“But it’s not! Something’s obviously wrong.” Michelle cannot let this go.
“I swear, I’m fine. It’s just bad sleeping and I haven’t been feeling well enough to eat. I’m sorry I worried you.” Will persists.
It’s hard to be aggressive towards Will. She has this ability to just be able to calm Michelle down. Will is always so gentle towards her even when she doesn’t deserve it. She doesn’t deserve the soft touches, the low timbre of Will’s voice in her ears, her art. She’s never done anything to deserve Will’s grace, but for some reason she has it. She’s blessed by the fact God thinks she’s worthy enough of such a role in Will’s life.
“But..”
“Michelle. I promise.. I’m fine. Just nightmares. It’s just been a rough month.” Will smiles at her. “Thanks for being worried about me though.”
“Of course. You don’t- I go crazy when I think about not-.. No, sorry. I mean of course I worry about you.” Michelle awkwardly laughs.
Will smiles with her teeth. It’s cute.
“What are you guys doing out here?”
Michelle turns her head towards her boyfriend.
“Oh hey! Sorry, we were just talking.” Michelle drops the grip she had on Will’s hand. Not realizing she had kept it in her grasp this whole time. Elliot smiles and walks over to her.
Will greets Elliot with a nod, “Yeah we were just talking…” her voice drifts off. Michelle glances at Will but Will seems to be off in her own world again, looking at the pool with a look that feels uncanny. Elliot doesn’t seem to notice the sudden change in smile, the change in eyes, but Michelle notices.
Elliot puts an arm over Michelle’s shoulders and she tries her best not to run away from it. She doesn’t understand why she can’t just be affectionate towards him. He’s not doing anything wrong to her and he treats her so well. “Well.. we should go inside. It’s cold out here.” Will nods in agreement.
“Sure.”
They head inside and immediately go searching for Dustin, Lucas and Max.
Will notices them with a “Oh, there they are.”
Dustin, Lucas and Max are all engaged in apparently a riveting conversation all with drinks in hand. The trio walk up to them and Max is immediately heading towards Will and grabbing her arm to drag her to Max’s side. “Look now we have an unbiased opinion!”
Will raises her eyebrows and Michelle scoffs, crossing her arms. “What are you even talking about Max?”
Max glances over her, keeping her attention on Will. “Who do you think is a better boyfriend? Lucas, Dustin, or Elliot?” Will blanches in response. “What?! Why are you even asking me this?”
“Obviously you are the only one who has dated outside of the party, so you would know unbiasedly who is the best boyfriend?” Max says casually.
Michelle’s brain stops. Dated outside of the party. Will looks at Max like she’s lost her mind. “Dated outside of the party? I haven’t ever dated anyone!” Max looks confused at this and turns towards Elliot. “Didn’t you say that somebody liked Will in California or am I going crazy and not remembering stuff correctly?”
Elliot nods, “I mean.. I didn’t say they were dating but there were lots of guys in Lenora who wanted Will’s attention. There was one guy named Shawn, there was…” his voice drifting as he goes through at least 3 different guy’s names. Michelle isn’t listening to any of it though. Her brain is still trying to catch up from the idea of Will dating somebody. Dating some.. guy and never telling her. It makes her irrationally angry to the point she can’t even listen to the conversation. The arm around her is heavy and weighted. It makes her feel like she’s glued into her spot, but she shifts her shoulders slightly to let Elliot know silently to take it off of her. He takes the hint, but not before giving her a concerned look.
“I’m going to get a drink.” Her mouth opens, the directness of her voice shocks even herself. Michelle turns and heads towards the kitchen, grabbing a drink of whatever alcohol is in this punch and she downs it. She grabs another and downs it.