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Michael slowly got off of the I-95 back into New Jersey, ready to see his moms again after being away since July. His first semester of his sophomore year had been hectic, but ever since he’d completed finals, he knew he was ready to come home.
His closest friend and roommate, PJ, was sitting in the passenger seat next to him, humming under his breath while he tapped the dash in front of him like it was a piano. He’d been his roommate since Michael had started college, and they’d been friends ever since. It wasn’t quite like what Michael had once had with Jeremy. He had more than just PJ, and didn’t rely so heavily on him. But they were still close, and Michael was happy to have him in his life.
Upon hearing that PJ wasn’t planning to see his own family for the holidays, Michael’s moms insisted he come stay with them. Upon being asked, PJ eagerly agreed, glad to have the company. He’d met Michael’s moms once or twice when they’d visited the dorms, but it was usually brief. He was excited to get to know them properly.
“My moms are kind of intense,” Michael warned as they drove through the city he grew up in, “Not in like- a bad way, it can just be a lot at first.”
PJ was enamored by the city, the snow on the ground especially, “S’fine, man, you don’t need to worry. Moms love me.”
Michael gave a slight laugh, “Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of.”
They soon pulled up to Michael’s childhood home together. Michael was the first to leave the car and grab their bags, hoping to be quick so his moms wouldn’t rush outside in the cold. As he grabbed his own backpack, he watched PJ’s face contort at the sudden chill.
“Jesus, fuck!” PJ muttered as he followed Michael out, immediately clutching his arms with his hands, “How the hell can you stand the cold?”
Michael laughed, fondly rolling his eyes as he grabbed PJ’s bag for him, “Sleeves are a good start. I told you to borrow one of my jackets.”
“And I told you my arms need to breathe. I was born and raised in southern Oklahoma, and we go to college in New Mexico, I don’t do long sleeves.” PJ had his arms firmly crossed, though it was hard to take him seriously as his teeth chattered, “Can we just hurry up and get inside?”
Michael agreed, leading him to the door where they were quickly ambushed by his moms. They both squeezed him tight, taking the bags from him before he could protest. He handled the distance as well as he could, but he really did miss having his moms so close.
“How was your trip? Did you eat?” Michael’s mother Rosa asked, holding onto Michael’s hands tight. They were warm against his freezing ones.
Before Michael could answer, his other mom, Jasmine, squawked, “Boy, where is your jacket?!”
Michael turned to look at PJ, whose face seemed to only get redder in acknowledgement, though the chill hadn’t helped matters either, “I didn’t think it’d be this cold.” He’d responded honestly, earning a smug look from Michael.
Jasmine clicked her tongue and shook her head, expression firm in that motherly way, “You need to wear a jacket, you hear me? It’s too cold to be going out like that.”
PJ quickly nodded in response, “Yes ma’am.”
Soon, Michael and PJ were settling into the basement, making plans on what they’d do during their visit, who they’d see, where they’d go. Michael knew they had a couple of hours to kill, so he pulled out his bong to get them started. He’d sobered up over the drive, and that simply wasn’t acceptable.
Smoking with PJ then brought back weird feelings. Good feelings of course, because Michael loved being high, but also some bittersweet. He’d never gotten high with someone down here that wasn’t Jeremy. He’d been better, really, about not thinking about him as much. But he couldn’t help but remember the silly conversations, the stupid decisions, the laughter, ringing through the walls of the basement.
He took another hit.
After a while of the back and forth with Michael and PJ, they felt that familiar hunger coming their way, and Michael led them upstairs, figuring maybe they could hit 7/11. A slurpee would be incredible right about now. As they came up the stairs to the kitchen, they found Jasmine writing a shopping list. She perked up at the sound of their steps.
“Oh, boys,” she started, like she’d been planning to talk to them anyway, “I’m running to grab some last minute things from the store. Do either of you want anything?”
Michael glanced over at PJ before looking back at her, feeling this was perfect, “Well, if you want, we can go to the store for you?”
She smiled at this idea and gave a bit of a nod, “You’re more than welcome. Let me finish writing this list and you both can go.”
Michael nodded expectantly, and soon he received the list. PJ was forced to put on a jacket before they left, but soon they were in Michael’s car again, headed to the grocery store near his house. Had it been his choice, he would’ve gone somewhere else. He knew almost everyone in this neighborhood, and while most of the people he was fine seeing, some, Jeremy included, he’d rather avoid. Still, the place was local, and it had the bread his moms really liked, so it couldn’t be avoided.
“Maybe we should split up.” PJ had said suddenly as they parked, surprising Michael. He’d been assuming they’d just stick together. “You can take half of the list and I can take half, so we’ll have extra time to get snacks before we get back.”
Michael hummed thoughtfully. It wasn’t a bad idea. He folded the list in half and took a picture of the top half before handing it to PJ to use the bottom half. “Shouldn’t take us too long, it’s not a long list and it’s a small store.”
Together they went in, and immediately parted ways inside. Michael watched PJ immediately head toward dairy before he headed towards the dry goods section. He saw a couple of familiar faces and a couple of new ones, but he paid little mind. He was on a mission to make it through this list.
Item by item, Michael quickly found what he needed, knowing this store like the back of his hand even being gone for a year and a half. He was on the last item now, the bread, his moms’ favorite. Once he had it, he’d go find PJ and help him finish so they could go get snacks.
“Getting that for your mom?” A voice suddenly asked, and Michael’s body went rigid. He knew that voice anywhere, and he knew exactly who it was aimed at.
He turned awkwardly toward it, and just as he suspected, Jeremy’s father stood there expectantly, smile kind. He’d always been good to Michael, and before things had changed, Michael had seen him in a fatherly way. Even now, he didn’t have anything against the man. Jeremy had made his choices, that wasn’t his father’s fault.
“Hey, Mr. Heere.” Michael responded, trying to hide the tightness in his chest, “Uh- yeah, you know how… she likes her bread.”
He cringed at his own words. When had it become so hard to have a normal conversation?
Mr Heere didn’t seem to notice, or maybe he was just trying to spare Michael’s pride, “How’ve you been, son? I haven’t seen you since before you left for college.”
Michael swallowed, slowly putting the bread into his basket he’d picked up, “Uh, good! I-I’ve been good! It’s all been really… good. I like it up there. How- uh- how are things here?”
Mr Heere’s smile turns a little bittersweet, and it reminds Michael of his own moms when he left for college, “It’s been okay, here. I don’t see Jeremy as much these days, so I get a little lonely. He visits when he can, but it’s not the same as when he was just down the hall from me.”
God, Michael understood that feeling, perhaps even more with how far away he lived. “Yeah… I get that. I miss my moms all the time when I’m away.”
Mr Heere nodded in agreement, then perked up, “Hey, Jeremy’s coming back from New York tomorrow and he’s staying with me until his next semester starts. Would you want to come over for dinner one night?”
Michael blinked. Blinked again. Tried to keep a neutral expression at the request. He had to know, right? He had to know Michael and Jeremy weren’t talking anymore. What did he hope to accomplish by having him over? A tension that would make this conversation seem pleasant? “Uhh… I… I can’t, I’m sorry.”
Mr Heere seemed like he wanted to respond, but before he could, PJ was tapping Michael’s shoulder to get his attention, “Hey, space cadet. You ready?”
Michael quickly turned and nodded eagerly, grateful to have a graceful exit, “Yeah, I’m ready,” he quickly turned to Mr Heere, almost as an afterthought, “I’m really sorry, I’ve gotta get home. It was good catching up though!”
They quickly exchanged goodbyes and PJ practically dragged Michael out of the aisle, grip firm on his wrist. As they were checking out, Michael could see the questions on his friend’s face, but there was a silent agreement between them. No discussion until they got out of there.
However the moment they got there, and the groceries were put in the backseat, PJ wanted answers.
“Who was that dude you were talking to?” PJ asked, “I’ve never seen you look more uncomfortable in your life.”
Michael let out a breath, laughing despite it all as he started the car, “Yeah, yeah, uh… that was Jeremy’s dad.”
“Jeremy as in your old buddy, Jeremy?” PJ asked, soon earning a nod from Michael, “The hell did he want with you?”
“Uhh, to catch up mostly, and apparently to invite me to dinner with them some night.” Michael’s face contorted at the idea as he pulled onto the street toward 7/11, “I mean honestly, what does he think is gonna happen? We’re gonna hold hands and sing kumbaya? Jeremy doesn’t want me around anymore, and I feel the same. An awkward dinner at his dad’s place isn’t gonna change that.”
PJ was shocked at first when Michael first mentioned the dinner, but at Michael’s response, his face lit up in a grin, “That’s my man, Mikey. You don’t need that dweeb anymore.”
Michael snorted, “Ew, never say that again.”
“Nah, but I’m serious man. You don’t need him, you don’t need his dad, you don’t need any of ‘em. You just gotta focus on you.” PJ spoke honestly, “How about you show me around the city? Get your mind off of it?”
Michael nodded almost immediately, excitement brought right back, “That sounds like a great idea.”