Chapter Text
Shen Qingqiu is a very, very dead man. Not dead in the literal sense, or dead as in brain-dead, but he will not be alive for much longer; this world or the other one.
Stuck in the abysmal stallion novel of Proud Immortal Demon’s Way, Shen Qingqiu has seen his share of grisly sights. It’s not surprising, considering that the appalling amount of papapa is broken up by the occasional gruesome and bloody death, but still. Still, why does Shen Qingqiu have to die this way?!?
Turned into a human stick by his former disciple, who honestly earned the right to mutilate his master in such a way all because Shen Qingqiu had no choice but to commit what could only be described as child abuse, thanks to the infuriating system. Unable to act OOC is a truly terrible thing, not only for his own mental well-being as the only sane person here, but also for his health.
Not to mention the lack of rewards for every utterly painful thing he’s put through. B-points this, protagonist satisfaction point that… What about freedom from the system’s reign of terror? What about Shen Qingqiu’s dignity?
One of the only rewards he was allowed other than useless points was something called ‘Host Magnetism’ which is impractical! Never, since redeeming the reward, has it come in handy. No characters are swayed by his words, and he still hasn’t gotten any action in the female department.
Shen Qingqiu sits alone in the bamboo house at Qing Jing Peak, staring into his cup of tea with an expression that could only be described as forlorn.
He will definitely be turned into a human stick this year. The time line has been nothing but accurate in this cursed world, even if the characters are not (but that’s a whole other rant). With the system so insistent on him remaining faithful to the true Shen Qingqiu’s character as possible, he has not been able to change his destiny.
“Shizun?” a meek voice calls from outside of the bamboo house, causing Shen Qingqiu to sigh deeply. Luo Binghe, the protagonist himself, has been so oddly attentive lately. It makes the older man guilty since he knows that the abyss is coming.
“Enter,” Shen Qingqiu orders, covering the lower portion of his face with his fan. It has a hole in it from where a slightly eager disciple’s knife flew through at dinner during a rowdy game that is indescribable to anyone not drunk. Shen Qingqiu has made it a note to look into who has been getting into the spirits.
Luo Binghe shuffles inside, bowing deeply. His young cheeks are flushed and his curls bounce as he bobs his head. “Would Shizun like for this disciple to cook dinner? I noticed that Shizun didn’t eat much at dinner after the incident.”
Shen Qingqiu’s lips curl in displeasure as he examines the tear in the material of his fan. “Ah, do not worry so much, Binghe. I had plenty before my fan was torn.”
Luo Binghe inclines his head, but his mouth remains in a firm, straight line. “If Shizun says so.”
This Luo Binghe is so odd. His personality is quite different from that of the online novel. He takes everything that’s dished out to him and always scurries back to his Shizun’s side with a dreamy smile upon his face. It’s unnerving. He’s most likely imagining everything that he’s going to do for revenge.
Shen Qingqiu reaches out, patting the protagonist’s head in a placating manner. “Now off to bed with you. It is far too late for you to be up.”
Luo Binghe studies Shen Qingqiu for a moment, causing the transmigrator to have heart palpitations. Is then when it happens? No, don’t be ridiculous. Luo Binghe hasn’t learned of his ancestry yet, nor has he called into the Endless Abyss. There is still plenty of time.
[Congratulations!] the system pings, [OOC feature has been unlocked!]
Oh, fuck yes. Shen Qingqiu nearly bolts the very moment that the notification comes through.
But not yet. He has a few matters to settle before he abandons ship and runs away to the forest to live a peaceful life. Maybe he’ll even find a wife- if Lou Binghe doesn’t collect her for the harem first.
“Binghe,” Shen Qingiu says as his disciple is nearly to the door. It causes him to halt in his tracks, head whipping around and fluffy curls springing. “Wait one moment. Shizun has something to say.”
“Yes, Shizun?” Luo Binghe tilts his head, bright eyes wide with curiosity. Oh, he’s so pure. So untouched by the horrors of the abyss.
Shen Qingqiu wants to savour this moment; the look of the cheery protagonist before he’s thrown into the abhorred plot devices written by an even more abhorred author.
Taking in Luo Binghe’s youthful character and blissfully unaware expression, Shen Qingqiu sighs deeply. How could anyone make such a pure soul go through so much suffering? It is yet another countless reason why he’s going to beat the author black and blue if he finds him.
Luo Binghe’s smile falters. “Shizun?
Shen Qingqiu clears his throat before folding his fan up and placing it off to the side with his now cooled tea. He’s aware that he must have been staring at nothing with a vexed face, and he smoothes it out. “Come here, Binghe. Let Shizun…”
“Let Shizun what?” Luo Binghe asks as he approaches, forehead pinched in concern. His mouth falls open and he falls to his knees. “Is Shizun ill? Is Shizun dying?”
“Stop that,” Shen Qingqiu scolds with a whack against the back of Luo Binghe’s head. “Nothing of the sort. You’re growing so big, let Shizun take you in. His little lotus is no longer so little.”
Luo Binghe settles at the term of endearment, preening as his chin is lifted and his head is tipped to the side for an examination. He doesn’t ask any questions as Shen Qingqiu strokes his hair and gently pats his cheek.
“Off to bed with you now,” Shen Qingqiu finally murmurs, pulling away. This is obviously the right choice for him so that he doesn’t get all of his limbs ripped off, but why is saying goodbye so difficult?
Stupid protagonist charm. It makes it so infuriatingly laborious to get anything done around here.
“Goodnight, Shizun,” Luo Binghe gleefully says. He sounds all too happy for someone who’s been basically abused his whole life. It’s a wonder he-
Oh shit, did Shen Qingqiu give him brain damage at some point? Is his mental capacity limited from one of the beatings that the system forced him to give, warning alerts blaring when he tried to stop?
“Goodbye, Binghe,” Shen Qingqiu responds, feeling oddly lightheaded. His disciple sees himself out, shutting the door with a click that resonates through the bamboo house.
Shen Qingqiu packs his things into a bag that’s reasonable to carry on what might possibly be a never ending journey. He might have to remain on the run for the rest of his life in the hopes that he isn’t turned into a human stick. It takes a moment of consideration before he finally slugs the sack over one shoulder and begins to walk. Maybe (okay definitely) he’s being a terrible Peak Lord by abandoning his disciples like this, but they’re bright young people. Plus, things always work out for Lou Binghe.
Shen Qingqiu does not have that kind of luck (protection given purely by being the protagonist more like) so he needs to get out of here before anything can happen. Surely someone else will shove Luo binghe in. Surely someone else will guide the young cultivators in lives and assisting them in not dying to demons.
And so Shen Qingqiu fucks off into the woods to live peacefully and without an excessive amount of amputations.
Shen Qingqiu has made quite the life for himself. He has found himself a humble abode to call his own in a village very far from the Qing Jing Peak. He made absolutely certain that this village rarely has newcomers.
Yes, there are downsides to living in such an isolated village. Maybe there’s a lack of food, and Shen Qingqiu has never been great with growing his own resources. Maybe his home is an abandoned shack where an old woman died alone and he swears he can hear her whispering at night.
But it’s fine. Life is delightful here, and the three years have flown by so far.
“Qingqiu-gege!” one of the young women in the village calls. This is another drawback. He’s constantly being flirted with.
One would argue that it is a benefit, but Shen Qingqiu has learned better by now.
He forces a polite smile, turning to face whoever it is. Bao Yu, a young girl with porcelain skin and pouty pink lips. There has been gossip that she’s been looking for a husband, and Shen Qingqiu has a sinking suspicion that he knows who’s at the top of her list. The only problem with that is she’s… wife number seventy? Seventy-one? in Luo Binghe’s harem, and Shen Qingqiu does not need to get involved with that. She gets wrapped up in an affair with him and they get married out of the goodness of Luo Binghe’s heart much later in the story.
He tips his head respectfully in her direction, cringing as all of her friends giggle and lean into one other. She flutters her eyelashes seductively, and fear of the protagonists wrath isn’t enough to keep Shen Qingqiu’s lower appendage from stirring.
Stay focused, my brother, Shen Qingqiu chides it.
“Qingqiu-gege,” Bao Yu simpers, “how is it that such an attractive man found himself here? It’s almost fate that such a good husband option arrived just as I came of age!”
Shen Qingqiu barely resists the urge to accept her offer. He is, unfortunately, still a virgin in this world. The company of his hand isn’t as satisfying anymore and it is to tempting to whisk her away for a tryst. But he doesn’t say such things to her face, and merely smiles pleasantly. “Ah, but would you not wish for a husband who-“
“I thirst for blood!” a deep voice booms, shattering through the tranquil village. Shen Qingqiu nearly cries with relief.
The villagers scream and scatter as a massive demon marches around, flattening homes and causing general terror. It is typical canon-fodder villain material. Nothing too serious, and Shen Qingqiu has missed defeating demons.
He’s just about to slaughter the demon and save the villagers, when the demon’s beady red eyes lock on the cultivator. His lips peel back in a fierce snarl, huge fangs the size of Shen Qingqiu’s forearms in full display. The demon throws his head back and laughs maniacally before throwing himself into battle.
Shen Qingqiu smiles for a half-second before the system decides to fuck him over for the nth time. He’s lost count of the number of times that this almost identical situation has happened at this point.
[Warning: Actions deviating from current quest line!]
“What?” Shen Qingqiu demands, trying not to get distracted from the battle he is about to engage in. “I haven’t taken any quests!”
The demon snarls, spittle flying out of his mouth. “Junshang shall pay a hefty price for you!”
“Pardon?” Shen Qingqiu asks in bewilderment, glancing around at the village people. No one else seems puzzled by the demon’s words, more interested in scattering for their lives.
The demon licks his lips in a threatening manner. “But who says you have to be in one piece?”
Shen Qingqiu prepares to fight and-
[Character override beginning. Please remain calm]
Shen Qingqiu is given an estimated two seconds to process that before his entire body goes rigid and he collapses in a very undignified manner. His fingers twitch as he attempts to regain some control of his body, but alas, it is to no avail. He can only groan lowly as the demon cackles and scoops him up, throwing him over his shoulder.
No! No, Shen Qingqiu refuses to be abducted! Who knows what a demon would even do with him? Roast him over a fire before ripping into the tender flesh of his thighs?
“Mwahaha!” the demon shouts, carrying Shen Qingqiu to the centre of the village. “Bow before me in fear!”
The villagers all gather, eyes wide with fear. No one seems to be injured, which is good. Although it’s pathetic how dreadful this demon is at the whole pillaging and killing thing. The demon doesn’t even tie anyone up as a hostage! (Shen Qingqiu refuses to acknowledge that he himself is currently a hostage) It’s outrageous that an NPC with this low skill was able to take Shen Qingqiu down, but he blames the system for that.
“I have your protector!” the demon exclaims before shaking Shen Qingqiu’s limp body. It manages to unravel his hair, causing the long strands to fall into his face. “Give me all of your… your…”
“Our what?” the village elder presses, shaking as he rises to his feet. He’s paler than usual, no doubt from fear, though it’s nearly impossible to be scared by this frankly appalling raid. “Our gold? Our- Our sheep?”
“I have come for…” The demon strokes his chin, forgetting that Shen Qingqiu is draped over his shoulder. The cultivator is knocked on his rear by an elbow and falls into a mud puddle. Face first, too, which only adds insult to injury.
Managing to regain a small portion of his strength, Shen Qingqiu pushes up with trembling arms to see the moment that the demon’s eyes land on the chittering girls near a cabbage patch. Oh no. Shen Qingqiu braces himself for the words that are milliseconds away.
“A bride!”
The girls all screech, pushing and pulling at each other until Bao Yu steps forward, chin lifted bravely. “Foul beast, I shall be your bride if you let these people go!”
Shen Qingqiu groans and sinks back into the filthy mud. A beautiful girl sacrificing herself for the greater good? Lou Binghe must be nearby and about to swoop in and save the lovely damsel in distress.
Although… shouldn’t he be in the Endless Abyss right now? Unless someone else didn’t take the role of Abyss-Pusher and Luo Binghe is currently going around building his harem.
In which case he would still arrive in time to save Bao Yu, so either way Shen Qingqiu is screwed. When has Lou Binghe ever let a living being with breasts get hurt?
The demon scoops Bao Yu up, pressing its wet lips to her face. “Off we go, my bride! We shall be wed by the morn!”
Shen Qingqiu waits patiently for a tall and handsome young man to burst into the scene. He waits, and waits, and waits.
“He’s really drawing this out,” Shen Qingqiu mutters to himself as he staggers up to his feet. He feels faintly light-headed with the after effects of being rendered immobile, it’s disgusting from the mud, and his hair is a wreck, but he has more pressing matters! He needs to escape before the protagonist arrives!
He packs his things and goes on his way again, abandoning the haunted mansion to be inhabited by the next desperate soul. He doesn’t bother saying goodbye to anyone since he never grew attached to any of the dull NPCs in the village. None of them other than Bao Yu were mentioned in the novel, therefore they didn’t have personalities since Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky is such a shit author.
He walks for a day North before discovering something quite unsettling.
Bao Yu’s corpse is strung up from a tree with blood dripping from her eyes and oozing from her throat. The wind rustles her hair, the only movement coming from her.
It’s disturbing, but not because someone was killed. That’s a standard practice here, one that Shen Qingqiu has grown unfortunately accustomed to. No, the alarming nature of this is that Luo Binghe didn’t rescue her. One of the countless harem members is dead.
Things have not been identical to the novel, but never has such a major change happened. Or at least, not that Shen Qingqiu has noticed. This is a huge deviation from the original plot.
“System!” Shen Qingqiu hisses as he sits on a tree stump, tucking his legs underneath him. “What quest were you referring to? Also, fuck you! Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!”
[Current quest line cannot be changed. Those who the quest applies to are aware of the criteria]
“I’m not on a quest right now!” Shen Qingqiu resists the tempting urge to smack his head against a tree. “Is there a glitch in your system? Did I miss an update?”
[Checking… Checking…] The system whirs quietly in the background. [All updates are installed. No system errors were found]
“Of course not,” Shen Qingqiu bitterly replies. He takes a deep breath before mediating, pushing his Qi through his body to make absolutely certain that his body is fine after the shut down. Everything appears to be normal, so Shen Qingqiu continues his trek.
It’s almost peaceful being on the road like this. There’s the occasional traveller that he bumps into, or even a trader, but no chaotic plot points. No fighting, no papapa, and no annoyingly righteous characters.
A year goes by since the village attack, and Shen Qingqiu is faring quite well. He’s taken up residence in a brothel, but not for the reasons that one might think! It’s the only way to discreetly earn coin, and he isn’t even required to be intimate with anyone. Apparently there’s a large market of people who pay for his company, just to sit in the room with him.
He doesn’t understand it, but the system (un)helpfully chimes in with the reminder that he has Host Magnatism equipped. He had completely forgotten about that, but it is useful now at least.
He leans back against the soft cushions, keeping the fan raised to shield the lower portion of his face. Oh, how he had missed this. The comfort of not always having to be on guard is extremely welcomed.
The patron sitting across from him is strangely silent. Normally he has to make some form of conversation since he’s not the normal kind of prostitute, but each attempt at filling the quiet room goes unanswered.
But eventually the man speaks up, craning his neck to peer at Shen Qingqiu. “Might this one see the Lotus’ face?”
Ah, yes, the stage name he had taken on just in case someone somehow connected him to Qing Jing Peak. When first asked what his name was, Shen Qingqiu had panicked and blurted out the first thing to come to mind.
“And ruin the mystery?” Shen Qingqiu lightly responds, half-teasing and half-concerned. “This one thinks not.”
The man smiles at that, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. They narrow instead, something cunning dancing in them. It makes Shen Qingqiu’s stomach clench in a mix of fear and dread.
The man tilts his head to the side. “A please would not suffice?”
“It would not,” Shen Qingqiu distractedly agrees, trying to piece together his next escape attempt. There is a large chance that he’s being paranoid, but so much time on the run has resulted in that. It’s a by product of having a revenge-thirsty man with the power of the protagonist halo on his side.
The man dives forward, knocking Shen Qingqiu’s precious fan away and clasping the NOT A PROSTITUTE’s face between his hands. Claws dig into his cheeks, and Shen Qingqiu it hit by the realization that this is a demon.
“It is you,” the demon gleefully says, long tongue lolling out of his mouth. “Junshang knows best, after all.”
Shen Qingqiu kicks up, striking the demon’s abdomen to push him away. He jumps up to his feet, sprinting out of the room. He mourns the loss of his recently reattained fan, but knows that his limbs are more important.
“Where-“ the brothel owner begins, tumbling out of the way as Shen Qingqiu shoves her aside. She yelps in pain, having hit her wrist on the counter. “You can’t leave, you-“
“This one apologizes!” Shen Qingqiu blurts out, ripping the doors open. He leaps out of the brothel, smacking right into the next patron who is entering.
“Shizun?”
Shen Qingqiu freezes as pure horror creeps down his spine. While that voice is deeper than last he heard it, it is impossible to not recognize. He lifts his gaze up to Luo Binghe’s slender face with a zuiyin on his brow. His hair is still slightly curly, but not maintained well enough to be defined.
Luo Binghe’s lips curl in a satisfied smile which makes Shen Qingqiu’s blood run cold. “Shizun… This disciple has been searching for so long.”
[Quest complete!” the system starts releasing all the celebratory sound effects known to man at once. It’s migraine-inducing. [Quest complete: Find Shizun!]
Oh, the quest was never for Shen Qingqiu at all. It was entirely for Lou Binghe, the smug-faced protagonist that Shen Qingqiu bumped into like some kind of clumsy bimbo. It’s shameful, really.
“That lowly demon claimed that he had seen my shizun,” Luo Binghe mumbles, almost to himself. “I guess he wasn’t lying after all. Maybe I shouldn’t have killed him and his bride for claiming to put his hands on my shizun.”
“Binghe?” Shen Qingqiu rasps, fear turning his knees weak. “Binghe, you- you killed them?”
Luo Binghe nods, though his mouth twists into a concerned frown. “Did Shizun like them? This disciple apologizes, then.”
“No…” Shen Qingqiu trails off warily before clearing his throat. This isn’t good at all. Luo Binghe murdered a member of his harem?!? This is even worse than he thought.
Luo Binghe raises a hand to stroke a shaking thumb across Shen Qingqiu’s cheek. “Oh, Shizun. Have you been eating enough? You look too thin and pale.”
Is that some kind of threat? Is he planning on starving Shen Qingqiu to death instead on turning him into a human stick?
“Binghe found me,” Shen Qingqiu whispers numbly.
“Mm.” Luo Binghe takes the older man’s wrist, lifting it up and feeling for his pulse. His fingers press against the tender skin there with such gentleness that Shen Qingqiu’s stomach flips. “After ten years, I have found Shizun.”
“Ten years?” Shen Qingqiu repeats, confusion replacing any of the confusing feelings that had been stirring a moment ago. “Binghe, it has been four years.”
“Eh?” Luo Binghe drops his master’s hand and studies the man. He shakes his head and laughs lightly. “Shizun is confused. It’s been ten years since he abandoned the peak.”
Shen Qingqiu winces at the bitterness in his (former?) disciple’s tone. “Ah…”
“Do not worry, Shizun,” Luo Binghe assures him, smiling cheerfully. “This disciple went through the abyss just as you planned. Shang-shishu was very clear on your instructions.”
Shen Qingqiu would like two-three business days to figure out whatever the hell that is supposed to mean, but he hasn’t the time now. Now is a time for escape. Now is a time for avoiding death.
[Warning: Escape is not encouraged. Any attempts will be punished]
“You can’t control ever single one of my choices!” Shen Qingqiu snaps at it, frustrated with the lack of actual control he has over this life. “What’s the point in me even existing then?”
[Host’s feedback will be taken into consideration]
“Binghe!” Shen Qingqiu gasps, covering his mouth in shock. He points out into the forest, hand trembling. “Is that a monster?”
“This one will protect Shizun!” Luo Binghe declares, physically throwing Shen Qingqiu behind him and using his own body to block anything that might attack. Stupidly heroic protagonist instincts kicked into protect his enemy.
Shen Qingqiu uses this as his opportunity to escape. There had, in fact, been nothing to see.
[Warning: Host-]
Shen Qingqiu turns off notifications and continued to run, pushing his honestly exhausted body to the limits. Yes, he hasn’t been eating enough since he’s been missing his disciple’s cooking, but he’s a cultivator. He doesn’t need that much. He also hasn’t been sleeping anywhere near a normal amount due to constant paranoia that it’s impossible!
His legs give out from beneath as his entire body enters that state of limpness like an overcooked noodle. This must have been what the sustem was trying to tell him. It’s ridiculous! Luo Binghe completed his quest anyways!
“Oh, Shizun,” Luo binghe breathes out as he kneels next to him, stroking a hand over Shen Qingqui’s back. “You’re in such terrible shape.”
He sounds entirely too delighted at that.
Shen Qingqiu can only make a small ‘nrrr’ sound as his noodle-body is lifted up by Luo Binghe. A nose nuzzles against his neck as he’s carried similar to a bride over the threshold of a new home. It’s embarrassing, considering the crowd that has gathered.
“Is that the Lotus?” a woman whispers, but her voice drifts to the pair at the centre of the attention.
Luo Binghe peers at the older man, something soft lingering in his gaze. “Shizun? You took… You took on the name that you referred to this one as?”
Shen Qingqiu can do nothing more than drool pathetically onto the black and red accented fabric of Luo Binghe’s robes. Red and black! Oh, his Binghe is so grown up moving on to embracing his demonic ancestry. A piece of him is proud, but the rest is more focused on his impeding doom.
Luo Binghe hums happily to himself as he adjusts his grip on his master before turning to the brothel owner he’s gaping at them from the doorway. “How much?”
“W- Huh?” The brothel owner blinks in surprise, not anticipating the question. “The lotus doesn’t usually… For a night it’s-“
“Not for a night,” Luo Binghe corrects, his voice turning sharper. Harsher. “I want to keep him.”
Her mouth opens and closes twice before the cunning business woman part of her comes to the forefront. “One thousand silvers.”
Shen Qingqiu nearly whimpers in relief. There’s no way that Luo Binghe has that amount coin. He hasn’t even seen that much in one place in his whole life, so his-
“Hei Yin,” Luo Binghe shouts. The demon that had found Shen Qingqiu in the brothel scurries outside, bowing deeply. “Give this woman one thousand silvers.”
The brothel owner’s eyes bulge as she’s handed a jingling bag. “M- Many thanks to such a- a handsome young demon! This one hopes you visit whenever you wish!”
Luo Binghe makes a sound of disgust from the back of his throat before turning on his heel. His head dips down so that he can stare at Shen Qingqiu’s face once again. “Let’s go home, Shizun.”